Date   : 10/07/2006    Duedate: 10/20/2006


DM-42    TURN-496

This Weeks Top Honors


(42-4209) [25-13-1,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ROCKJAW                        WOLVERINE
DELVERS (154)                  BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
(42-4209) [25-13-1,116]        (42-4374) [4-2-0,63]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DELVERS (154)                  BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
(42-4175) [16-42-3,93]         (42-4374) [4-2-0,63]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BEASTIAL LEGION (391)       21
2. KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)     13      COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
3. COLOR ME SUAVE (322)         9      Unchartered Team
4. DELVERS (154)                4
                                       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)     443 321 22 58.0   1/ 1 DELVERS (154)            11  4 0
 2/ 2*BEASTIAL LEGION (391)     14  14  2 50.0   2/ 2 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)     10  5 1
 3/ 3 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)   11  13  1 45.8   3/ 3*BEASTIAL LEGION (391)     6  8 1
 4/ 4 DELVERS (154)            467 626 12 42.7   4/ 4 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)   3  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     You know, the Khalhums Dwarf MIGHT make a good Duel2dude.  There's no telling if
we never let him try.  But I have heard that some, allowed to write the column when
they won the fight but didn't get the title, have proven to be...reasonable.  Even
somewhat literate, although they did tend to write their columns in runes, which
disconcerted the newsletter staff.
     However, it was ME who won this fight, so the issue doesn't arise here.  Except
for a faint wish to fight somebody who, well, cared whether he won or lost.


                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for RODEKI.  MVP award for WOLVERINE?  
BEASTIAL LEGION's proud of him after beating ROCKSOCK and getting 20 points.  Talk 
about yer big time losers!  ROCKSOCK got smashed by WOLVERINE, and lost 16 points!  
This Duelmaster is like something else!  ROCKJAW stopped VETERAN MERCENARY dead in 
his tracks!  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  
They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to hear from you? 
Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  I had a fun 
time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROCKJAW 4209                 25  13  1   116       DELVERS (154)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREDIBAR 4236                16  12  0    95       DELVERS (154)
 HANDSOME DOES 4175           16  42  3    93       DELVERS (154)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOLVERINE 4374                4   2  0    63       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
 JOCKSTRAP JONES 4237         16  12  1    61       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 QUICK DEAD HAMMER 4214        6   6  1    57       KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROCKSOCK 4253                 8  12  0    50       DELVERS (154)
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 4213        5   7  0    49       KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)
 LEAFCUTTER BEAL 4268         11   8  1    48       DELVERS (154)
 MOP 4382                      7   1  1    39       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 BADGER 4375                   5   1  0    34       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCADDIE 4381                  5   3  1    29       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RHINO 4384                    3   1  2    21       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
 ACELESS DEUCER 4388           3   0  0    17       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 THE TOMATO MAN 4383           2   4  0    12       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 TERRESQUE 4386                0   3  0     4       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MORDANT DESERTER 2     0  1 0   1                   SCADDIE 4381          496 NONE    
BEAR 4387              1  2 0 BEASTIAL LEGION 391   MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     496 NONE    
FERRET 4376            0  3 0 BEASTIAL LEGION 391   MOP 4382              493         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Well, there's something you don't see every day:  every single warrior in an arena
fighting.  No holding out for tourneys here. -- Suave

Beasties -- Next. -- Mop

Just like one of my idiots to talk trash while he's lossless.  Mop, why not take up
baseball and pitch a no-hitter into the ninth?  Eesh. -- Suave

Can we draw Ambitious Guard and Convicted Thief this turn?  We'd challenge them if we
could. -- Tomato Man and Aceless Deucer

Rocksock -- Hell yeah, I'm a cute one! -- Jockstrap Jones, strutting out his new
winter fashion line

Rockjaw -- Ah, yes, a skill monger on the throne.  Anytime you want to learn a skill
or two, try out a new rating and graduate is fine with me.  That'll give Handsome
Does an opportunity to placehold for a turn or two until he gets his political
points.  At least we had the decency to free up the top ranks by moving on. -- Suave

Jockstrap Jones -- Yep, acute.  Which isn't the same as a cute, don't make that
mistake.  I did, and one of my teammates walloped me for being, ah, a "damned rude
annoying snotnosed golem."  This is untrue, of course.  What use have I for snot?
But it's distressing that my teammates felt a need to impress these views on me...
with a sledgehammer.  Normally I wouldn't get upset about this, as I am extremely
Cool, but this just hit me wrong.  They acted like I was "insulting them on purpose,"
when it was actually just some fluke of their stupid imprecise language.  Damn. --

The Convicted Assassin is an orc, which somehow doesn't surprise me.  After all, he
got caught, and he left enough evidence behind that he was convicted.  That sounds
like "no brains" to me, and to me, "no brains" all too often equals "orc." --
Handsome Does
P.S.  I will admit that I'm curious as to who he killed, and who wanted that person
killed (it isn't an assassination if it isn't paid for, right?), and why an orc was
hired for the job in the first place.  Could this be some kind of set-up?

I was going to laugh at M. Chardinee, who lost rather amusingly, but he was out of
the arena so fast after the last blow--amazing, when you think about it, that he
could even MOVE after that blow--that I didn't get a CHANCE to laugh.  I feel...
cheated. -- Fredibar

John Wayne Hammer -- Gods, you texas types are all the same! -- Leafcutter Beal
P.S.  Try to get it through your head that my identity is not "John Wayne's Nail."
Gods.  Men.

Jockstrap Jones -- Well, I had noticed the streaks, but I thought it was just a bad
paint job, or something.  You need to use a better quality of paint. -- Leafcutter
P.S.  And never, ever paint an exterior with water-soluble paint ten minutes before
it starts to rain.

Suave -- I'd be glad to graduate them.  Unfortunately, they don't seem to be
qualified.  The gods may know why not, but I sure don't.  I have been expecting
Rockjaw, for instance, to go any time. -- Harby
P.S.  Probably the lack of ratings.  At least, I'm assuming a lack of ratings.  When
the next miniovers come, I can verify that.  Until then, I'm just, you know, hanging
on tediously.

14 September 2006
     I am back in the arena and thinking back to those days in 1984 where I was a
novice and clueless manager.
     Now, 22 years later it looks like I am an ancient and once again clueless
     I am looking to recover some old warriors.  Since none of them are Aimed Blows,
they are no threat to win anything.  I just want to see how they turned out.

The Couatl 2-17
Madam Butterfly 20-701
Gypsy Moth 20-703
King Crab 21-1
Priestess Python 26-1388

Please contact me at DekeYoung@Comcast.net if you know about any of these ancient
warriors, or just want to bs about the old, old, old times.

25 September 2006
It is obvious that the Dark Knights wish to be shown the light.  Allow me to step
forward and blind them with truth.  YOU ARE WORTHLESS!!!  The Dark Knights are so
afraid of the light that they hide behind their black armor and empty threats.  It is
too bad they are unwilling to actually FIGHT us!  I guess our natural light is too
bright for you all to face!  Fear us, for we are here! -- Gemini Goldphoenix,
Overlord of the Avengers of Light!

5 October 2006
*Turf War IV Rules*

     Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must:
     A.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork (DM
         47) newsletter.
Captains are responsible for:
     a.  verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
     b.  distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
Managers must:
     a.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Gift Certificate to participate to:
          Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568), DM 47 -- North Fork, or
          Rick Stringer
          13 St. Michael's CT
          Elkton, MD 21921
     b.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
         they will be fighting under in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.
     1.  No scoring will begin until a Gift Cert is received.  No exceptions.
     2.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare and be verified by the
         Captain of the alliance he/she has claimed for;
     3.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  NO multiple aliases please.
         Violations will result in disqualification.
     4.  The contest will begin on the turn following the January F2F and run for 12
     5.  The turn  a declaration and verification will begin the scoring process.
     6.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 10 of the Turf
         War 5.
     7.  For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.
                  Win     Loss     Kill     Die
Challenge          +2      -2       +5       -5
Match-Up           +1      -1       +1       -5
Bloodfeud          +2      -5       +5      -10
Champion           x2      x2       x2       x2
Downchallenge     -10      xx      -10       xx
Dark Arena        +10      -5       xx       xx
Special Scoring:
     a.  Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 2 points (team mentions only!)
     b.  Each Style Master is worth 2 points.
     c.  Duelmaster Throne is worth 2 points
     a.  Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory.  If declared, the Champion
         must be in the Adepts or lower brackets on the turn they are declared
         without having gone above the Adepts bracket at any time...including
         transferred teams.  (I'll be watching for this occurrence!)
     a.  Bloodfeuds count for all four (4) turns.  However, the same warrior may not
         be used all four turns.  4 turns means 4 separate warriors.  A penalty of
         -10 will be given to the team who violates this.
Special Conditions:
     a.  I reserve the right for all final decisions.
     b.  If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2.
     c.  If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong, I'll subtract points at the rate of
     d.  Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
     e.  Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty
         (this means a warrior with 0 FE).
     f.  TVs won after the contest begins gain a 25 point one time score once the
         tourney reports are posted in the NL.
     g.  TCs won after the contest begins gain a 50 point one time score with the
         same conditions as noted for TVs.
     h.  NO switching alliance once verified by an alliance that a team has declared
     i.  Only 7 teams are permitted per alliance for the Turf War 5.
     Turf Wars are a "Winner Takes All" type contest.  All prizes and 100% of the RU
Certs will be given to the Captain of the winning alliance and it is his/her
responsibility to give these to the alliance membership.
     I have requested from RSI the following:
     a.  renaming of the orth Fork (DM 47) arena;
     b.  renaming of Dark Arena Monsters;
     c.  known favourite rhythms for one warrior on each team of the winning
         alliance.  This warrior would be in the Initiates or above brackets on the
         last turn of the Turf War (they must have at least one arena fight to
         receive this award).
               Baphomet, Host of TW5
Special Note:  A downchallenge is considered from a higher bracket to a lower
bracket.  Same bracket, more recognition points?  Not a downchallenge!

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BEAR was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ROCKJAW devastated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute one-sided Title duel.
HANDSOME DOES was handily defeated by VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute match.
FREDIBAR devastated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
JOCKSTRAP JONES subdued JOHN WAYNE HAMMER in a 2 minute competition.
ROCKSOCK was viciously subdued by WOLVERINE in a popular 3 minute bloody duel.
MOP was beaten by QUICK DEAD HAMMER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brawl.
LEAFCUTTER BEAL overpowered FRATSFA SLAVE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
BADGER slimly won victory over THE TOMATO MAN in a 4 minute gruesome duel.
SCADDIE assassinated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
TERRESQUE was defeated by ACELESS DEUCER in a action packed 3 minute novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   0 -  0     100  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -   2 -  0      80  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     25 -   9 -  2      74  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     7 -   5 -  1      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         TOTAL PARRY        5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  15 -  3      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         AIMED BLOW         9 -  16 -  1      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 496 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         4  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  ROCKJAW 4209               25  13  1  116 DELVERS (154)
WALL OF STEEL    FREDIBAR 4236              16  12  0   95 DELVERS (154)
LUNGING ATTACK   WOLVERINE 4374              4   2  0   63 BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
SLASHING ATTACK  LEAFCUTTER BEAL 4268       11   8  1   48 DELVERS (154)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HANDSOME DOES 4175.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was WOLVERINE 4374.  The ten other most popular fighters were QUICK DEAD HAMMER 
BEAL 4268.

The least popular fighter this week was ROCKSOCK 4253.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HANDSOME DOES 4175, BEAR 4387, MOP 4382, SCADDIE 4381, LEAFCUTTER BEAL 
4268, JOCKSTRAP JONES 4237, FREDIBAR 4236, ROCKJAW 4209, THE TOMATO MAN 4383, and