Date   : 11/18/2006    Duedate: 12/01/2006


DM-42    TURN-499

This Weeks Top Honors


(42-4374) [6-2-1,97]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

COLOR ME SUAVE (322)           BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
(42-4237) [18-13-1,84]         (42-4374) [6-2-1,97]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FREDIBAR                       SCADDIE
DELVERS (154)                  COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
(42-4236) [17-14-0,75]         (42-4381) [8-3-1,52]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)     37
2. COLOR ME SUAVE (322)        30      COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
3. BEASTIAL LEGION (391)       28      Unchartered Team
4. THE SUMMONING 4 (393)       13
5. DELVERS (154)              -17      THE SUMMONING 4 (393)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*THE SUMMONING 4 (393)      1   0  0  100   1/ 1 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)     11  4 1
 2/ 1 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)     454 325 23 58.3   2/ 2 DELVERS (154)             5  9 0
 3/ 3 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)   14  16  2 46.7   3/ 4 KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)   3  3 1
 4/ 2*BEASTIAL LEGION (391)     16  21  3 43.2   4/ 3*BEASTIAL LEGION (391)     2  7 1
 5/ 4 DELVERS (154)            472 635 12 42.6   5/ 0*THE SUMMONING 4 (393)     1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     So, what is this, Embarrass the Delvers Day?  Rockjaw loses to the Kung-Fu
master and loses the title.  *I* lose to the Khalhums Dwarf (a damned Andorian), and
GET the title.  Fredibar loses to the Khalhums Dwarf, and just remains an ordinary
shmuck.  Okay, so the arena is really thin of competition at the moment, couldn't we
at LEAST have fought standbys we could DEFEAT?  That's bad enough, but this...
pathetic, and I do not except myself.

                                    Handsome Does

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for JOCKSTRAP JONES, who flew up 19 points in the rankings after mashing 
FREDIBAR like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the 
top ten was ROCKSOCK, who dropped 19 points after a disappointing (to say the least) 
bout with JOHN WAYNE HAMMER.  Isn't that life?  One minute you're on top of the world 
and then next you're laid out on a slab!  HANDSOME DOES was slain by WOLVERINE.  Say 
no more.  Advice to bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger halberd!   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and 
take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in RODEKI have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  Its been real, and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun...-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOLVERINE 4374                6   2  1    97       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JOCKSTRAP JONES 4237         18  13  1    84       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 FREDIBAR 4236                17  14  0    75       DELVERS (154)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JOHN WAYNE HAMMER 4213        7   8  1    66       KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)
 QUICK DEAD HAMMER 4214        7   8  1    64       KLK RANGE HAMMERZ (379)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCADDIE 4381                  8   3  1    52       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 ROCKSOCK 4253                 9  14  0    47       DELVERS (154)
 MOP 4382                      9   2  1    39       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BADGER 4375                   5   3  0    31       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
 DELAWARE RUN 4400             2   0  1    28       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ACELESS DEUCER 4388           5   1  0    23       COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
 RHINO 4384                    3   2  2    19       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
 BASILISK 4396                 1   0  0    13       THE SUMMONING 4 (393)
 RACKABOY 4402                 1   0  0    13       DELVERS (154)
 WOLFEN 4401                   0   1  0     1       BEASTIAL LEGION (391)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
TERRESQUE 4386         0  5 0 BEASTIAL LEGION 391   MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     499 NONE    
HANDSOME DOES 4175    17 44 3 DELVERS 154           WOLVERINE 4374        499         
LEAFCUTTER BEAL 4268  11  9 1 DELVERS 154           JOHN WAYNE HAMME 4213 497 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Oh, great, JUST what I needed, a loss to the Kung-Fu Master to cost me the title.
And he's a damned orc, besides, he probably did it on PURPOSE.  Gods, the things they
expect us to put up with in the arena! -- Rockjaw the really annoyed
P.S.  But not really REALLY annoyed, since I'm graduating.  That can make any day
P.P.S.  EPEE?  What were they THINKING?

Handsome Does already complained about the ignominy of my loss to the Khalhums Dwarf,
but I want to add my coals of infamy on that hairy little runt's head.  Maybe his
beard will catch on fire!  It'd serve him right. -- Fredibar

John Wayne Hammer -- You see the problem?  My fleshly teammates lose, I win.  It is
an indication of superiority of golem over human (or orc or dwarf).  Thank you for
this opportunity to display my ability. -- Rocksock
P.S.  I do not, of course, feel vanity or pride, both false emotions only found in
fleshly people.  But it is useful to disseminate facts, and it is a fact that golems
are better suited to stressful activities.

20 October 2006
In accordance with those rules set forth by the Lady of the Realm, I hereby announce
the formation of a small group of managers calling themselves "The Outsiders".  The
group consists of the following members:
     Doc LeGrande
     Street Legal
     This group has only one rule.  Respect the play of the managers of this
alliance.  We have no worries about not playing by the rules set forth by others.  We
fight the way we like, and all those in this group appreciate what tools each manager
brings.  We have managers from the Delarquan, Andorian and Free Blade regions.  We
have managers that focus on the tournament arenas, and we have those that focus on
the regular city arenas.  We have those in our ranks that fight with honor and
respect for all, and we have those that have a bloodlust that cannot be quenched.
     Our goal is simple.  To create a ensemble of managers that will show their
prowess in the land of Alastari, and to bring a new level of competition to all those
that share the sands with our warriors.  Our warriors are many throughout the land.
We have no home arena.  We have no pacts we abide by.  Our fighters range from
Mordant to Talcama, from Lapur to Lyratilan, Aruak City to Valamantis, the Primus
arena to Talahya, and many more arenas throughout the land.
     Whether we are sought out or ignored makes no difference to us.  We are what we
are.  We fight how we fight.  And we do it however we wish.  We have no rules.  We
have no leader or ruler.  Be prepared.  We are.

20 October 2006
The Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire respond thus to the Avengers of the Light:
Where are you?  EACH AND EVERY Dark Knight can be found in arenas 31 and 52.  Your
pretty words mean less than nothing if you won't fight.  EVERY Dark Knight is more
than willing to back up their talk.  So...we give you three turns in either 31 or 52,
REPEAT 31 or 52 to show up or shut up.  If you don't show we'll let all of Alastari
know the Avengers are indeed cowards! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

2 November 2006
I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the

Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TERRESQUE was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
HANDSOME DOES was slaughtered by WOLVERINE in a 1 minute brutal uneven Title battle.
ROCKJAW was overpowered by M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
FREDIBAR was unbelievably bested by JOCKSTRAP JONES in a 2 minute veteran's fight.
ROCKSOCK was devastated by JOHN WAYNE HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SCADDIE viciously subdued BADGER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody match.
QUICK DEAD HAMMER overpowered MOP in a 1 minute uneven melee.
RHINO was vanquished by DELAWARE RUN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ACELESS DEUCER defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a action packed 1 minute duel.
BASILISK overpowered WOLFEN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RACKABOY handily defeated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   1 -  0      83  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         LUNGING ATTACK     6 -   3 -  1      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  13 -  1      66  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   19 -  15 -  3      56  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   7 -  2      53  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         AIMED BLOW         8 -  15 -  1      35  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  12 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        1 -   3 -  0      25  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 499 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         4  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   WOLVERINE 4374              6   2  1   97 BEASTIAL LEGION (391)
WALL OF STEEL    JOCKSTRAP JONES 4237       18  13  1   84 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
STRIKING ATTACK  SCADDIE 4381                8   3  1   52 COLOR ME SUAVE (322)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FREDIBAR 4236.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SCADDIE 4381.  The ten other most popular fighters were FREDIBAR 4236, TERRESQUE 

The least popular fighter this week was WOLFEN 4401.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were RHINO 4384, MOP 4382, HANDSOME DOES 4175, RACKABOY 4402, BADGER 4375, 

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

ROCKJAW (42-4209) DELVERS (154)