Date   : 02/04/2004    Duedate: 03/02/2004


DM-45    TURN-213

This Weeks Top Honors


(45-3755) [12-9-1,110]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MING                           TWIGS
DYNASTIC (433)                 P.A.C. (462)
(45-3755) [12-9-1,110]         (45-4003) [4-0-0,60]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SUNFLASH                       GARGLE SPEW
NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)          EMETICS (406)
(45-3474) [23-13-0,94]         (45-3902) [8-5-1,65]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DARQUE FORCES (428)         49
2. A DEAL'S DEAL (457)         41      DYNASTIC (433)
3. MOJO P@TROL (451)           39      Unchartered Team
4. DYNASTIC (433)              36
5. VENDETTA INC. (463)         33      MIKES MORGUE (460)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*MIKES MORGUE (460)        23  10  1 69.7   1/ 5 DYNASTIC (433)           11  4 0
 2/ 2*P.A.C. (462)              13   7  0 65.0   2/ 2*P.A.C. (462)             10  5 0
 3/ 3 DYNASTIC (433)            65  39  3 62.5   3/ 3 SUPERIOR FORCES (310)     9  4 0
 4/ 5 MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)    80  57  4 58.4   4/12*A DEAL'S DEAL (457)       9  6 1
 5/ 8 DARQUE FORCES (428)      121 104  7 53.8   5/ 1*MIKES MORGUE (460)        9  6 1
 6/ 7 PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)     58  50  4 53.7   6/ 8 NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)     8  7 0
 7/ 9 AVID FANS (65)           113 105 10 51.8   7/ 4*MYTH TAKES (458)          7  8 0
 8/11 NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)     87  92  1 48.6   8/ 6 DARQUE FORCES (428)       6  4 0
 9/ 6*MYTH TAKES (458)          17  18  1 48.6   9/10 MOJO P@TROL (451)         6  8 1
10/14 MOJO P@TROL (451)         28  31  2 47.5  10/11 MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)    5 10 1
11/10 EMETICS (406)             54  60  2 47.4  11/ 7 EMETICS (406)             4  6 1
12/13 SUPERIOR FORCES (310)     28  33  0 45.9  12/14*VENDETTA INC. (463)       4  6 0
13/15*VENDETTA INC. (463)        6   9  0 40.0  13/ 9 PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)     4 11 0
14/16*A DEAL'S DEAL (457)       15  25  1 37.5  14/13 AVID FANS (65)            3  7 0
15-17*POP STARS (464)            2   8  0 20.0  15-17*POP STARS (464)           2  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     It was a hot (read very hot--with temp appx 90F and humidity 90 and stagnant
Ohio Valley climate) day in Cannelton, Indiana, that late Summer of 1962 when the
Bulldog Football Team headed off to practice.
     In those days, the state law mandated no football practice (or Spring Training)
until Aug, 15 or later.  Most of the guys came from the hay fields in the morning as
it was the custom for all the guys to help the local farmers bale the hay--both as a
community service and to build muscle durability.  (Manual hay baling required
continuous handling and tossing of 50 pound bulk rectangular bales in intense heat--
well, you get the picture.)
     A car was needed to get to Cannelton Memorial Field, which was appx 1/2 mile
outside of town and about triple that from the high school, and the main guy with a
car (few of us had them in those days), Paul Hay, (picture an old beat up 51 Chevy--a
real clunker) could cram 8 guys in, as there were no real safety worries in those
     The way to the field, after picking up the last guy in "Dog Holler", was
alongside a deep canal on a virtual one (maybe 1.5) lane road.  With eight guys
crammed in (3 in front and 5 in back--two on others' laps--as we were a very close
team), and a lot of noise and just plain guy stuff, it could be rather confusing, and
the driver, Hay, used to get angered at all the riders every trip for all the
horseplay and unsafe movement.  (Not to mention the extreme flatulence competition
that was a part of the activity!)
     Well, this day, for some reason, Hay had to scratch his privates rather
profusely, so he asked Keano (in front) to hold the wheel (while driving along) while
he performed the required action.  Someone, probably Smitty, from the back reached up
and held onto the wheel not letting Keano guide, while the car gently smoothed its
way down the canal bank, through bushes, weeds, and significant rubbish, to a stop
just about in the water.  Needless to say, Hay way even more angered.  (Probably even
"pi--ed".)  He yelled out, "Who held the wheel, Steinberg?" thinking, as everyone
usually did, that practical joker, sophomore Harry Joe Steinsberger, was the culprit.
(Being a tight knit group, the Seniors to this day have allowed Hay to continue to
think as such.)
     We got out (quite cautiously as we were on a hillside and in peril of tipping)
and proceeded, to no avail, to move the car.  We determined that a wrecker would be
necessary.  All of us hustled off to practice, as we were only a couple of blocks
away, leaving Hay, even more angered by now, to fend for himself and call the wrecker
from a phone at a nearby neighbor's.
     The afterward to the story:
       *** The seven of us made it to practice on time.
       *** There was no damage to the car.
       *** Kean's uncle owner the wrecker, so Hay got by free.
       *** Hay had to run "laps & steps" for being late.
       *** Paul Hay was still "pi--ed" at the 40-year reunion.
       *** We all had a great laugh--and still do to this day.

Reporting on the day's of yesteryear, and the great Cannelton Bulldog Football Team....  Smitty

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                               Slaughterhouse Results
                                       Turn 6

     The race tightens as Myth Takes closes fast along the rail.  Can Pendragon Cycle
or Mordred's Madmen catch up?  Will it be a two horse race?  Will a Dark Horse come
out of nowhere?  Is this contest just too exciting to stand?  Will I ever stop asking
stupid questions?

     TEAM               TURN 6 POINTS     TOTAL
1.  Mikes Morgue         10          164
2.  Myth Takes           25          134
3.  Pendragon Cycle      10          116
4.  Mordred's Madmen     10          106
5.  Emetics              25           94
6.  Dynastic             30           90
7.  Avid Fans             0           80
8.  Mutant Hammerz        0           80
9.  Mojo P@trol          10           74
10. PAC                  25           71
11. A Deal's A Deal      10           67
12. Darque Forces         0           55
13. Vendetta Cartel       0           37
14. Eldritch Forces       0           24
15. Pop Stars             0           17

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #76 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Various places in Zukal:

     "There are warriors coming.  Several of them from Free Blades, in fact," Kitala
the Bold, Lady Protector of Crysalis, reported.  She picked with most comfortable
chair in the Blue Moon guildhouse's common room with an unerring instinct and settled
into it.  "Maybe one or two from Crysalis, as well.  Me, anyway.  I'm getting bored
on the Isle."
     "When?" Jorja asked.  She didn't much like Kitala--they'd trained on the same
team in Lin Tirian years ago--but she could work with the woman.  Kitala had a
deserved reputation for getting things done.  Things no one else wanted to do, and by
Mantor's Shining Sword, dealing with Sekahos was not something Jorja wanted to do.
She hated politics.  "The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll be done with it."
     "Couple of weeks, probably," Kitala said after a moment's thought.  "These
things don't happen all at once.  People have to cancel their dental appointments,
sublet their apartments, find someone to walk their dogs, stuff like that.  Some of
'em even consult their managers!"  The Lubanese woman shook her head as at an
inexplicable marvel.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Ghenis crouched on a roof and looked down at soldiers marching through an alley.
They were some of Sekahos's men, heading for a brothel, not that it mattered.  Any
soldiers would do for this test.  When they were all in the alley and in his sight,
Ghenis clutched his talisman and muttered, "Stop these men, make them helpless to
prevent anything I would inflict on them in Your Name."  Then he held his breath,
waiting to see if the Dark God of the cult would answer his request.  If the Demongod
answered, then he would know that the cult was real, whatever fripperies Pelishtekan
dressed it in.  And if there was no answer....  The gladiator bared his teeth in a
silent snarl.  There was, somewhere, just such a Demongod.  He knew it.  And he would
find that Demongod and unleash it on the Ferencian and the others who would propose a
false cult, just for the money and power it gave them.  Let all false prophets
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     In the principal hall of Zukal's grandest palace, the man who was now calling
himself Prince Sekahos scowled at his advisors.  "It's outrageous!  Intolerable!
     "It has happened, even so, Prince," Amar Yayoi said.  He was the Prince's
battlemage and chief adviser.  "Some fool among the benighted heathen of this land
has let loose a tribe of Old Ones, dregur as they are called here, against us.  We
must re-bind--"
     "Why can't we get them on our side?" the Prince demanded.  "If these local
yokels bound them before, then the dregur must hate them even more than they hate us.
Why not form an alliance?"
     "A novel idea," the mage said slowly, "but I would recommend against it.  The
Old Ones are not noted for their willingness to accommodate to we who are the Younger
Peoples."  He watched closely as Sekahos considered this and felt a sinking in the
pit of his stomach.  His Prince was going to demand that the attempt be made.  It
could lead to the deepest disaster, and even if an alliance successfully forged, it
could not be depended upon.  The Old Ones were masters of that special treachery
which was produced by following agreements to the exact letter.
     Whatever Sekahos might have said next was swept aside by the entry of Vilardet,
the Prince's master of spies and assassins.  The dark-faced intriguer (he was half
Ferencian and half Kannar) sketched the formal sequences of bows and salutes and
plunged quickly into his report.  "The assassin sent against Kinnishan of Chimlevtal
failed, Prince.  Bad enough in itself, of course, but worse that it has alerted the
cursed Chimlevtans against further attempts."  What Vilardet did not say, but Yayoi
knew quite well, was that the spymaster had argued against that precipitate action.
But he was wise enough not to say "I told you so," not to THIS prince.
     "Kinnishan must die!" Sekahos shouted.  "He's a reactionary!  A cursed populist!
He is blocking my path of expansion, refusing to pay tribute, providing a base for my
     "All this is true," Yayoi said calmly, "but there are other ways to slay a tiger
than by charging it with a spear."
     "Let us set a trap for your enemy, Prince," Vilardet agreed.  "Let us lead him
to destroy himself, and not only himself but those who would ally with him against
     "This would be a great coup," the mage urged, taking up the argument in his
turn.  "Not only would your immediate enemies be removed, but their purpose in
opposing you would be so discredited that others will hesitate to rise against in the
     "And in the doing of it," Vilardet went on, "another danger might also be
reduced...if Kinnishan is brought to attack the Light of Barikala, for instance?"
     Even Sekahos hesitated over that suggestion.  Inzolas had dispatched men to take
Barikala early in the invasion.  They had succeeded, but soon afterward had ceased to
communicate.  Spies sent to that great island in the years since had never returned.
Ships passing too close to it had vanished without a trace.  No one knew what,
precisely, was happening there.  The only thing to be seen which might have a bearing
on the disappearances was a pillar of light, vast, brilliant, and unaccountable, that
rose from the center of the island.  What that pillar meant, was, or did was unknown.
"Would he be such a fool?" the Prince asked finally.
     The spymaster shrugged.  "It doesn't matter.  A situation can be contrived where
he has no CHOICE but to approach the Light.  That, or lose his throne and his allies,
which would serve our purposes well enough."
     There were several minutes of silence while all considered the possibilities.
"Do it," Sekahos said finally.

In and around Kurukar:

     He who was now known as the Black Kaliv stood behind the altar, waiting.  No
moon shone on Kurukar, nor had it since the Kaliv had come into his full power.  But
there was something in the sky which gave a blood-colored light.  The Kaliv said,
     A woman walked toward him through the icy night.  She had been a gladiator once,
before the closing of Kurukar's arena.  She was not afraid of pain and death.  But
she was afraid now.  Terrified, not for her life but for her soul.  She would have
run screaming into the dark forest had the spell not bound her limbs to the Kaliv's
will.  She would not have survived such a flight, for the men--the CREATURES--who
served the Black Kaliv were behind her.  But it would have been a cleaner death.
     She reached the altar and stopped, staring across it and awaiting the next
     Fingers half numb with cold fumbled at the fibula holding the white cloth around
her.  Like a winding sheet, it was.  She willed her fingers to seize the clasp, to
drive the long fang of metal into her own flesh and end it all now.  Her fingers
dropped the fibula onto the cloth at her feet.
     She could sense the creatures close behind her.  They were foul things, even the
one who was human.  But she wished one of them--any one of them--would reach out and
take her life.  Now.  Before it was too late.
     "Lie on the altar," the Kaliv said.
     She did so.
     The four creatures came forward, and each of them seized one of her limbs,
holding her in place though she wasn't struggling.  The Kaliv raised a dagger over
her; it burned red in the light of the not-moon in the sky.  With a single word, he
released the spell that bound her limbs to his will.
     She screamed and fought.
     Until the dagger came down.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Kholzern, Commander of the East for the Black Kaliv, stepped aboard his
flagship.  He wore a form that was nearly human, but his sailors were not deceived.
They had seen Kholzern in the heat of battle, when he wasted no energy on such
disguises.  But he always won those battles, so they accepted his alien origin, even
when it made their blood run cold.  Not that they had a choice.  Those who had
protested serving under Commander Kholzern had...vanished.
     "North," Kholzern said, "then east through the canal to Aljafir Bay.  Aljafir
and Stormcrowe must be subdued so that we may secure out outlet into the Storm Sea."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Tashart, Commander of the West, was not at all human and made no effort to
disguise that fact.  He gestured with a tentacle to the helmsman of his flagship.
"South," his piping voice ordered.  "All shipping which does not bear the standard of
Jhuizkhal is to be destroyed.  Three ships to blockade the mouth of North Fork's
river, the rest to invest Veastian.  Not a ship shall move along this coast without
my leave."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 484): ALEX GRIFFIN of DREAM PARK (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 482): TILLOUISA of SWEET MAGIC (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 478): BURGATORY of SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (Klep, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 478): MUKAARTH of BLACKHEART'S AXE (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 477): GHENGIS KHAN of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 475): TRAGIC TUESDAY of QUASI-LEGAL OPS (Necron 99, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 237): IDIOTIC INDIGO of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 467): BINDI of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 235): SIR PELLEAS of WILLBENDERS (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 464): JOHNNY B GOODE of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 455): IRON-HIDE of FERROUS MEN (?, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): SWORDBREAKER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 212): MING of DYNASTIC (Jack Wolfspider, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 207): BLACK JACK SHELACK of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 194): NASSE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 343): TENACULUM of GENERAL SURGERY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 323): THE BUM of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 142): PRIZMATYK WAHL of MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
                                (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 484): CLAN O' WHOOPAS (?, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 482): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 478): SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (Klep, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 478): DARK WARRIORS (Arcane's Den, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 477): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 475): QUASI-LEGAL OPS (Necron 99, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 237): THE WARLORDS II (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 467): CRIMSON KINGS (The Yellow Jester, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 235): WORDS TO THE WISE (Wordsmith, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 464): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 462): WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 455): STRONGHOLD (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 212): MIKES MORGUE (Mike, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 207): MY DAY (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 194): TEAM VIRTUE (Boy Scout, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 343): GENERAL SURGERY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 323): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 142): MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 368): WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 483): BLUE GOOSE of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 481): OCTAPUSSY of ARENA FELINES II (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 478): BURGATORY of SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (Klep, mgr.)
                            NEIGH! of TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 477): ROWARDENN of SAILS OF CHARON (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 466): MONTY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 234): MACIOBELLY of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                               GAELIN BLACKTALON of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 464): JOHNNY B GOODE of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
                                   Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                       (turn 461): OLD MAJOR of PIG BATTALION (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): SWORDBREAKER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 211): SNOWFALL of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 207): STRAW FIRE of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 323): THE BUM of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 141): PIXIE BLIGHT of DARQUE FORCES VIII (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

To All Loyal Subjects:

     Welcome to the Coronation of our Celestial Ruler, the Sun of Heaven, the wise
and benevolent Emperor Ming.  The Ming Dynasty shall be marked by enlightened rule,
literature and art (particularly vase making) shall flourish.  May peace and
prosperity find each and every one of you.

                    Jack Wolfspider
               (spokesman for the Emperor Ming)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  The boys at MIKES MORGUE left the arena 
dejected, after being kicked out of the top spot by DYNASTIC.  Good show!  He who 
laughs last didn't get the joke.  Speaking of laughing at jokes, observe MIKES 
MORGUE.  Last week they got 3-2-0 to drop by 4!  What's a move up by 8 you ask?  
(alright, maybe you didn't ask)  Cause for celebration, according to A DEAL'S DEAL.  
MOJO P@TROL posted a nice gain, to come in 9th.  Everybody loves a winner...  
Practice pays for HOT LIPS, who pummelled HAPSBURG, to pocket 19 points.  Win some, 
lose some.  Speaking of which, GOAT was winsome, after beating VIKINGS and seeing him 
lose 15 points.  THE BEER VENDOR found out that STORMCROWE isn't a democracy.  You've 
gotta be the best to be Duelmaster here!  So who's the team that's been walking into 
taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds like a PR stunt to me.   
     So much to report, so little time!  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst the 
mountaintops, so stand the warriors of SUPERIOR FORCES, alone and unchallenged.  The 
warriors of SUPERIOR FORCES found their efforts at combat frustrated as MYTH TAKES 
apparently had more important things to do than fight.  If challenges were horses, 
SWINGANDAMYTH could open up a fast food joint!  UTHER found himself challenged by a 
warrior 23 below:  MOTHER.  MOTHER of DARQUE FORCES kept hers wits as she beat UTHER. 
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Those who owe DOOR 
NUMBER 3 of A DEAL'S DEAL money and had written her off, take note:  she'S BACK FROM 
THE DARK ARENA!!!  AND she'S MAD!!!  Justice was served as PLANTAGENET fought GARGLE 
SPEW in bloodfeud.  Well done, DYNASTIC!  Oh hard!  that to strike a flame, the match 
itself must needs be wasting!   
     All good things must come to an end.  More important duties call me.  Can 
anything compare to the pleasure of writing Spyreports for STORMCROWE?  On that giddy 
note I take my leave-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MING 3755                    12   9  1   110       DYNASTIC (433)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUNFLASH 3474                23  13  0    94       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
 MARILYN 3712                 18  21  2    91       DARQUE FORCES (428)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOTHER 3741                  12   5  1    88       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 HOT LIPS 3743                14   3  0    87       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 THE BEER VENDOR 1975         16  13  1    84       AVID FANS (65)
 THE SMELL OF IT 3564          9  16  1    82       EMETICS (406)
 ZINDELLA AZRON 3898           8   4  0    81       MOJO P@TROL (451)
 NORA BATES 3883               8   8  0    81       MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)
 HAPSBURG 3754                15   6  0    79       DYNASTIC (433)
 BEDWYR 3835                  11   8  0    79       PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
 UTHER 3691                   12   9  2    77       PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
 PLANTAGENET 3756             15   6  0    73       DYNASTIC (433)
 32ND PTOLEMAIC 3940           7   3  0    72       DYNASTIC (433)
 SHARLA MANSON 3936            8   3  0    70       MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)
 ALICE OSBORNE 3970            6   2  0    70       MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONVULSIVE HURL 3563          5  19  0    66       EMETICS (406)
 GARGLE SPEW 3902              8   5  1    65       EMETICS (406)
 TWIGS 4003                    4   0  0    60       P.A.C. (462)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE STATISTICIAN 2309        12  13  0    53       AVID FANS (65)
 DAGORA SAVON 3896             7   5  1    53       MOJO P@TROL (451)
 STORM SERPENT 2416           10   6  0    51       SUPERIOR FORCES (310)
 SHARD 3507                    8  18  1    45       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
 MYTHING LINK 3972             5   2  0    43       MYTH TAKES (458)
 THE JANITOR 2545              6   7  0    41       AVID FANS (65)
 DEATH FOG 4017                4   0  0    39       SUPERIOR FORCES (310)
 MYTH OLOGY 3975               4   3  0    39       MYTH TAKES (458)
 BENEVOLENCE 3986              6   1  1    37       MIKES MORGUE (460)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 USURIOUS 3989                 5   2  0    33       MIKES MORGUE (460)
 A TALENT SCOUT 3950           4   2  0    33       AVID FANS (65)
 COLOUR COMMENTATOR 3951       4   2  0    33       AVID FANS (65)
 DOOR NUMBER 3 3966            3   5  1    33       A DEAL'S DEAL (457)
 GOAT 4012                     3   0  0    33       VENDETTA INC. (463)
 BOMBSHELL 3914                5   5  1    31       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 GALAHAD 4002                  4   2  0    27       PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
 CHUCKY MOHAWK II 4001         5   1  0    26       MIKES MORGUE (460)
 GOLDEN ACES 4006              4   0  0    24       P.A.C. (462)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCOURGE 3987                  4   1  0    24       MIKES MORGUE (460)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VOR'EIV TAVERS 3916           5   6  0    22       MOJO P@TROL (451)
 CONCERTINA 3965               4   4  0    22       A DEAL'S DEAL (457)
 JILTED JILL (MAD?) 4013       2   3  0    21       A DEAL'S DEAL (457)
 C.F.H. 4009                   1   2  0    21       VENDETTA INC. (463)
 POSTHUMOUS PETE 4024          3   1  0    20       A DEAL'S DEAL (457)
 TESS BUNDY 4038               2   0  1    19       MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)
 PYROTECHNICS 4018             4   0  0    18       SUPERIOR FORCES (310)
 VIKINGS 4004                  3   1  0    17       P.A.C. (462)
 ARTHUR 3982                   4   4  0    16       PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
 NEAR MYTH 3973                3   4  1    16       MYTH TAKES (458)
 TEARSA 3954                   3   4  1    16       MOJO P@TROL (451)
 SWINGANDAMYTH 3971            3   4  0    16       MYTH TAKES (458)
 ZEBRAS 4007                   1   3  0    16       P.A.C. (462)
 LANCELOT 3994                 2   5  0    15       PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
 TOKUNGAWA 4043                1   0  0    15       DYNASTIC (433)
 HIT & MYTH 3974               2   5  0    13       MYTH TAKES (458)
 MASTER DARQUE 4008            1   2  0    12       VENDETTA INC. (463)
 FRANCINE KRUGER 4015          1   3  0    10       MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)
 FROSTEEL 4045                 1   0  0    10       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
 WALRUS 3995                   1   6  0     9       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
-JESSICA S. 4028               1   0  0     7       POP STARS (464)
 KICKAPOOS 4039                1   0  0     7       P.A.C. (462)
-RICKY M. 4029                 1   0  0     6       POP STARS (464)
 ABRAXIS 4010                  1   2  0     5       VENDETTA INC. (463)
 FROSTBITE 4014                0   5  0     5       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
-BRITNEY S. 4023               0   2  0     4       POP STARS (464)
 FIRE HAWK 4011                0   3  0     3       VENDETTA INC. (463)
-LANCE B. 4019                 0   2  0     2       POP STARS (464)
 KOTHAS JAPFIN 4031            0   2  0     2       MOJO P@TROL (451)
-JUSTIN T. 4027                0   1  0     1       POP STARS (464)
 CRUNCHER 4042                 0   1  0     1       A DEAL'S DEAL (457)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
HIGH ELF 19            0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          DOOR NUMBER 3 3966    213 NONE    
SPASM 4026             0  2 0 DARQUE FORCES 428     TESS BUNDY 4038       213         
ROMANOV 3753          10  9 2 DYNASTIC 433          GARGLE SPEW 3902      212 JUST REV
DIMINUTIVE 3990        3  4 0 MIKES MORGUE 460      MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     213 NONE    
JANE FAUST 3992        3  2 1 MORDRED'S MADMEN 409  BENEVOLENCE 3986      211         
FINALLY DA 4044        0  1 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 310   DARK CHAMPION 24      213 NONE    
CANTBELIEVEIT 4030     1  2 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 310   TEARSA 3954           213         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Benevolence -- Save the last dance for me! -- Francine Kruger

Coach -- Abraxis is a name with a colorful history.  Abraxis comes from Abrasax which
is the fat-bellied demon where the term abracadabra (a magician's term) comes from.
There is also a following of people who are from the village of Forchies-la-Marche
near Charlerio in Southern Belgium who practice the black mass.  They are called the
Order of Abrasax.

Abraxis also has ties to the terms "followers of the way", "User of High Magik",
"Honorable Warriors Who Uses Magik".  As for Abraxis himself, I would tend to go with
the last.  That is why I stated "his name says it all." -- Goat

Vikings -- Hut...hut...You should have been penalized 15 yards for face masking.
Good fight. -- V.I. Abraxis

Jilted Jill -- Love the way you move.  Still can't figure why you have been jilted.
Have you ever tried dodge in 1st min? -- V.I. Master Darque

Abraxis -- Thank you, is this Slaughterhouse Contest an alliance or an individual
stable challenge.  I see all Cartel, so the challenges are very limited, so...have we
been challenging each other in this contest? -- Goat

All -- Any info in how to run Rippers would be greatly appreciated.  I have 9-12-9-
15-15-9-15, her record is 0-5.  She is learning Parry, Riposte, I've tried 2-2-5
Parry, 3-4-5, 4-6-4, Rip in the 1st min.  I fought a TP for 14 minutes.  I was
running 6-4-5.  I was getting "she slashes with her epee", "she swings wide as if
attacking the air."  Not once have I landed a blow to an opponent yet.  Can you also
tell if she should be running offensive or defensive by the skills that she is
learning?  Any idea will be tried (yes she has lost to ST, BA). -- A wide-eyed Goat

Walrus -- You need your teeth to pierce all this plate.  Plus they look better on
you. -- V.I. Abraxis

Acorns -- 19-19-15-9-7-9-6 mode basher, who went 4-3 in the rookies tournament
(somehow), decided to try out for The Dark Arena team.  He was sacked. -- Coach

Chucky -- There must be something about Mike and Morgues, and your style that
intrigues me.  And the wins are a bonus. -- Twigs

Cantbelieveit -- Wow!  (wipes his golden brow)  Can't believe that dumb challenge!
It was sort of like running a quarterback sneak on third and 10!  Nevertheless it
worked!  Wow! -- Golden Aces

Hit & Myth -- They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth.  That's why I wear
stripes!  This time I was the hit and you were the myth. -- Zebras

Door Number 3 -- I think I was the grand prize winner, but thanks for the challenge.
I had the giddy-up. -- Vikings

Frostbite -- All the cards are either Aces or Golden when held by the right person.
Otherwise it's a crap shoot. -- Golden Aces

Ming is Duelmaster.  A salute. -- Coach of P.A.C.

Consortium -- Hello.  Didn't realize that was you.  Good start is Stormcrowe.  As
always good to see you back.  Your help a few years ago has been part of the reason
I've had the success that I have.  Thank you. -- Fizban the Fanatic

All -- Wow I'm truly impressed with the way my current bunch has performed thus far
in the Slaughterhouse.  They are truly a mediocre lot.  With only one potential star.
I probably can only hope for second or third, but who knows.  There could be a
shortage of Death and Mike could go out of business.  One can hope. -- Fizban

Snowfall -- Ack.  No fair.  I got a flake in my eye. -- Uther

Ming -- Go pester Flash Gordon and leave me alone. -- Bedwyr

Concertina -- We can always count on you to help us out with a win. -- Arthur

Pyrotechnics -- If it wouldn't have been for the light show I'd have won that one.
Or was it my complete lack of fighting skills.  Either way I call foul. -- Lancelot

Dagora Savon -- You swung, I bled.  I attempted to rip, I failed.  You attempted to
rip and I bled some more.  Where did I go wrong? -- Galahad

     Sounds like you should have just stayed in bed all day. -- Ed., who has had days
     like that

Galahad -- J'hear the Vir, yer pop-u-lar.  *s'nuck* *s'nuck* *s'nuck*

Frostbite -- I've found my place.  The lowest of the low, feminine fatality wanna-be,
and then there's me. -- Jill

What in the tar--blinkin blazz-flaggin world is this world a comin to? -- Concertina
P.S.  And YES old gran gets a peck on the cheek with this mouth.

Kothas Japfin -- Winnin's good.  S'not the short shrift.  I gots to insinuate myself
wif da team, or my short'll be...shrifter. -- P. Pete

Coach...Snowfall -- Raisin one to ya, manager...and, well done, fighter.  And same
again to all what gives stats.  Graduatin or otherwise.  In fact, maybe I my own self
will drop some sleezery-slogger bombs.  It's not like there's a rep to ruin. --

Gargla Spew -- You DARE to murder Czar of all Russians?  You...you...Bolshevik! --
Ghost of Romanov

Sunflash -- Hmm -- I guess I forgot something in that fight.  It seemed a little
drafty out there.  What can you expect after the life of debauchery my fans and
followers expect of me? -- Plantagenet
P.S.  Congratulations on the Call!

Convulsive Hurl -- How does it feel to have been beaten by a 5'3" woman?  Good fight
though. -- Zindella

Galahad -- Tsk.  Tsk.  Tsk.  You give up too easy.  I wasn't finished.  Oh well,
maybe next time. -- Dagora

Scourge -- Whew my man, that was a long and grueling fight.  I did give up; I just
couldn't finish.  I lost my strength.  Next it might be a little different.  Later
brother. -- Vor'eiv

Near Myth -- Ouch that hurt.  Man what a fight. -- Tearsa
P.S.  Alright who's the secret admirer, oh how sweet.

Posthumous Pete -- My first fight and I forgot to bring a weapon. -- Kothas

To All -- I'm very proud to be with Vendetta Cartel.  COL needs to back down, now! --

Uther -- It was my pleasure to teach you those skills, as a parting gift to maintain
the quality of the arena, but you surely didn't expect me to LOSE. -- Snowfall

Mything Link -- I wish somebody would FIND you and take you away.  Uh, nothing
PERSONAL, exactly, just, well, you know. -- Shard the disgruntled

Jilted Jill -- Hey, it wasn't me that lured your man away!  I'm completely innocent
here! -- Frostbite

Plantagenet -- You come from a doomed line, you know.  All the best historians say
so. -- Sunflash

A beggar?  How ridiculous. -- Walrus

Coach -- My thanks. -- Snowfall

10 January 2004
ZalCon2 Updates (1/9/04)

     The contest will be starting on the turn due February 23rd, 2004 and run for 20
     Only one team will be allowed for each manager in the contest, regardless of
whether additional teams are announced as contest entries.  No exceptions for any
     The Style Master points should read that there is +1 point for beating a member
of your own style even if the warrior is not registered for the contest.
     Rolling points for consecutive turns as Style Master means that your warrior
gets the extra point every turn after the first 3 that he continues to hold the
     The points for Quality Wins should be clarified to read the winning warrior is
ranked below by the number of recognition points needed for each bonus point at the
start of the fight.  For example, Warrior A (3-2-0, 17) beats Warrior B (4-1-0, 35)
and receives 2 bonus points under Quality Win for the 18 point difference in the
     I believe that is all the clarifications for the moment, please feel free to
email, diplo, call or write me with any other questions or concerns about the
          Robert Occhipinti aka Zalgor Prigg

10 January 2004
                *     *     *  Third Annual Turf War  *     *      *

     Come one and all to DM 47 (North Fork) for the Third Annual Turf War!  Rules of
the contest will be posted in Turn #208's newsletter (due date Feb. 23).  The contest
will begin on Turn #209 (due date March 22).
     So, get a team there and register!  To register, you must send me a donation of
one (1) rollup CERTIFICATE.  Then, declare your alliance and team in the North Fork
personals.  You may also declare a warrior as champion, and that warrior will earn
(or lose!) double points in the contest!
     Roll-up certs will be *ALL* awarded as prizes, in addition to:

*** Highest Scoring Alliance -- Gets to Rename DM 47 for 6 months!
*** Most returns from DA (Alliance) -- Rename DA monsters for 6 months!
*** Most listings as "Style Masters" (Alliance) -- Pick arena to host the April "05
    Grand Tournament!
*** Warrior with the most awards -- Arenamaster named after him for 6 months!
*** Alliance with the most awards -- Pick the slow arena for TW 4!
*** Team with most "Style Master" listings -- Discover favorites of one warrior on
*** Warrior with most "Style Master" listings -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns!
    (I'll transfer $7.50 to the manager's account)
*** Alliance with the most kills -- Rename the stand-ins for 6 months!
*** Highest scoring Warrior -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns.  (I'll transfer
    $7.50 to their manager's account.)

     The contest will run for 10 turns, with the winners announced on turn #220.  See
the Turn #208 North Fork newsletter for complete rules and scoring system!  Direct
"declarations" to:  A.D. in the personals, and prize pot entry donations to:
                      Jason Mazuch HSP H-2
                      P.O. Box 339 #924385
                      Sparta, GA  31087-0339
     By snail mail or diplo through RSI.
               Bloody Sands!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB

16 January 2004
                                    CHAOTIC WINDS
     Once, long ago, the four Winds of Time descended upon Alastari like a TEMPEST of
epic proportions, they slew everything within their all-encompassing reach.  They
left nothing.  In their wake lay smoldering ruins.
     In their haste they sped towards the center of this great land like a colossal
giant would step across an ocean.  The four storms picked up momentum on their way
towards each other.  A collision was eminent.
     The first storm wind, the oldest and wisest of the four was named APEXALUS.  The
second, FLAGGSTAFF, was the quickest and loudest entity ever created.  The third Wind
of Time was MATRIATIN, neither old or young, quick or slow, but fierce and feisty all
the same.  The forth wind, ASSAMITHIUS, the youngest yet most creative in its means
of destruction.
     When finally they merged at the center of ALASTARI, an incredible destructive
explosion occurred.  And when the smoke and debris cleared they were one.  CHAOS was
     And Chaos spread across the diminished lands reeking havoc and doom with its
passing, and destroying allover again that which already lay in ruin.

F E A R    C H A O S    I N C.

28 January 2004
All -- I send out this invitation to all teams and managers.  A new Alliance has been
formed.  The Living Essences Alliance is being formed to join forces in an effort to
eliminate common foes and to help the joined warriors grow and learn to the best of
their abilities by offering suggestions and advice.  It doesn't matter what arena
you're in, or if you're in another alliance already, as of today.  This Alliance is
open to one and all!  If you are interested in joining, please DIPLO me, or send a
personal ad to DM 93's newsletter.  If you wish to join beyond March 2004, send a PA
to DM 82.  Come join the fun! -- Dagan LifeGiver, mgr. Shadow Warriors (DM 93)

28 January 2004
This notice is to formally introduce our young alliance, CHAOS INC.  We consist of
APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and now RUDE BUDDHA.  If we aren't already there, we
WILL be coming to an arena near you soon!  Hope to see you all at the ZALCON II.

4 February 2004
Greeting from Jhans, DM 36 -- In 2 turns the kLk will host our first annual "St.
Valentines Day Massacre" in Jhans, arena 36.  (Kill Contest)  The contest will begin
on turn 450.  It will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461 the winners will be announced.
There will be 3 separate categories, the team with the most kills, the alliance with
the most kills, and the warrior with the most kills.  For the manager of the team
with the most kills a PRIZE of 10 ROLL-UPS will be rewarded (or $50 deposited into
his account).  No need to declare yourself in the personals.  If you are in DM 36,
you will be part of the contest whether you like it or not.  We encourage as much
trash talk as you'd like.  All teams, managers, and alliances invited.  Please
contact Polarius (mgr. of Blitzkrieg) in DM 36 with questions.  Or you can email me
at jamieptmo@hotmail.com.  Good luck and see you in the sands. -- Polarius

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DOOR NUMBER 3 barely slew HIGH ELF in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DIMINUTIVE was slaughtered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
FINALLY DA was easily killed by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
PLANTAGENET luckily beat GARGLE SPEW in a 8 minute master's Bloodfeud duel.
FRANCINE KRUGER was narrowly defeated by BENEVOLENCE in a 2 minute Bloodfeud match.
MARILYN slimly won victory over BEDWYR in a 3 minute gory expert's Challenge brawl.
MOTHER bested UTHER in a 1 minute Challenge match.
THE JANITOR was unbelievably bested by STORM SERPENT in a 8 minute competition.
MYTH OLOGY was vanquished by ALICE OSBORNE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MYTHING LINK was vanquished by SHARLA MANSON in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SCOURGE was viciously subdued by DEATH FOG in a popular 4 minute Challenge fight.
USURIOUS handily defeated ZEBRAS in a exciting 4 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
COLOUR COMMENTATOR demolished SWINGANDAMYTH in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
A TALENT SCOUT devastated NEAR MYTH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
GOAT devastated VIKINGS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
LANCELOT was overcome by GOLDEN ACES in a 5 minute Challenge fight.
GALAHAD vanquished WALRUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
HIT & MYTH was unbelievably bested by VOR'EIV TAVERS in a 5 minute Challenge fray.
C.F.H. savagely defeated ARTHUR in a 2 minute bloody Challenge brawl.
ABRAXIS was devastated by JILTED JILL (MAD?) in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MING demolished THE BEER VENDOR in a 1 minute one-sided Title bout.
ZINDELLA AZRON savagely defeated THE SMELL OF IT in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
NORA BATES was bested by SUNFLASH in a popular 1 minute bout.
HAPSBURG was outwaited by HOT LIPS in a action packed 9 minute veteran's match.
THE STATISTICIAN was handily defeated by TWIGS in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
32ND PTOLEMAIC demolished CONVULSIVE HURL in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
BOMBSHELL was savagely defeated by SHARD in a popular 1 minute gory duel.
DAGORA SAVON demolished THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
CHUCKY MOHAWK II outwaited MASTER DARQUE in a 7 minute expert vs. novice bout.
CONCERTINA vanquished OSKSI NOBLE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
TEARSA narrowly killed CANTBELIEVEIT in a 2 minute duel.
FIRE HAWK was unbelievably bested by PYROTECHNICS in a 14 minute novice's fight.
FROSTBITE was defeated by KICKAPOOS in a 6 minute novice's fight.
POSTHUMOUS PETE beat KOTHAS JAPFIN in a monotonous 5 minute bloody beginner's bout.
SPASM was slaughtered by TESS BUNDY in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
CRUNCHER was demolished by FROSTEEL in a 1 minute mismatched match.
TOKUNGAWA luckily beat EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a exciting 7 minute brutal novice's fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  16         LUNGING ATTACK    85 -  44 -  4      66  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         TOTAL PARRY       55 -  33 -  0      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         AIMED BLOW        22 -  17 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         STRIKING ATTACK   49 -  42 -  6      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  26 -  2      41  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  37 -  1      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     13 -  24 -  1      35  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -  21 -  1      34  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  25 -  1      34  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    18 -  45 -  3      29  |

Turn 213 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       10 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  5         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  6         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  7                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MING 3755                  12   9  1  110 DYNASTIC (433)
PARRY-LUNGE      SUNFLASH 3474              23  13  0   94 NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
TOTAL PARRY      HOT LIPS 3743              14   3  0   87 DARQUE FORCES (428)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE BEER VENDOR 1975       16  13  1   84 AVID FANS (65)
STRIKING ATTACK  BEDWYR 3835                11   8  0   79 PENDRAGON CYCLE (426)
AIMED BLOW       SHARLA MANSON 3936          8   3  0   70 MORDRED'S MADMEN (409)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SUNFLASH 3474.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GARGLE SPEW 3902.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE JANITOR 2545, 

The least popular fighter this week was PYROTECHNICS 4018.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were KOTHAS JAPFIN 4031, HOT LIPS 3743, CHUCKY MOHAWK II 4001,