DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 11/26/2014    Duedate: 12/23/2014

STORMCROWE ARENA

DM-45    TURN-354

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

INIGO MONTOYA
MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
(45-813) [18-9-0,125]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

INIGO MONTOYA                  UKKO
MAX'S MIRACLE (123)            GOING BERSERK (527)
(45-813) [18-9-0,125]          (45-4780) [4-0-0,29]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ANGEL CAKE                     THE MAN IN BLACK
SHEWISH BUFFET (520)           MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
(45-4737) [6-12-0,64]          (45-3417) [7-7-0,78]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)     32
2. GOING BERSERK (527)         30      STREET WALKERS (516)
3. SHEWISH BUFFET (520)        30      Unchartered Team
4. MAX'S MIRACLE (123)         28
5. NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)       15      GOING BERSERK (527)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 STREET WALKERS (516)      89  39  6 69.5   1/ 2 MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)  10  4 0
 2/ 3 DARQUE FORCES (428)      507 293 33 63.4   2/ 1 DARQUE FORCES (428)       9  6 1
 3/ 5 MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)   42  26  2 61.8   3/ 3 MAX'S MIRACLE (123)       8  7 0
 4/ 2*GOING BERSERK (527)        8   5  0 61.5   4/ 4*GOING BERSERK (527)       6  3 0
 5/ 4 MAX'S MIRACLE (123)       79  51  2 60.8   5/ 5 STREET WALKERS (516)      5  6 0
 6/ 6 NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)    335 405 11 45.3   6/ 6 NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)     4 11 1
 7/ 7 SHEWISH BUFFET (520)      61  74  5 45.2   7/ 7 SHEWISH BUFFET (520)      4 11 0
 8- 8*ONLY IN MY DREAMS (478)    2   8  1 20.0   8- 8*ONLY IN MY DREAMS (478)   1  4 0
 9- 9*SIMPLETONS (424)           0   5  0  0.0   9- 9*SIMPLETONS (424)          0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die!"
     Inigo Montoya stood in front of the full length silver clad mirror by the Max's
Miracle main entrance.  Underneath a brightly colored sign stating, "Smile! You're
about to go on stage," the famous swordsman's steely gaze reflected back on itself,
as he gazed furiously into his own eyes, trying to decide if his passion for revenge
matched the love he still felt for his father, or if time had dulled his edge.
     "HELLO!  My name is Inigo Montoya," Inigo roared.  "You killed my father.
Prepare to die!"
     This time, Inigo locked eyes with The Albino, who sat in the common room behind
him.  With a weak "Stop saying that," The Albino fainted dead away, overcome with
dread and awed by Inigo's ferocity.  He slid off his chair and landed in a heap on
the floor.
     "Sorry!  Sorry!  Coming through..."  The Man In Black jumped over the comatose
heap of The Albino, and almost slid deftly by Inigo, managing only to brush shoulders
in the narrow hallway.  Inigo's concentration broken, he looked sorrowfully at his
guild mate.
     "I cannot find him.  It's been twenty years now, and I'm starting to lose
confidence.  I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills.  There's not a lot of money in
revenge."  Inigo glanced over at the scowling hunchback who pretended not to be
listening as he counted his gold coins.  "Sometimes I wonder if I shall ever find the
six fingered man."
     "Never give up!" The Man In Black aka Westley aka The Dread Pirate Roberts
smiled confidently at his friend.  "You shall find him as surely as I returned from
death to reclaim my one true love, Buttercup!"
     "Perhaps," Inigo smiled.  "You never fail to make me feel better.  Where are you
off to?"
     "I'm heading downtown to pickup The Brute Squad.  He should be returning today
from The Grand Tourney.  I can't wait to hear all about his experiences, and how he
fared!"
     Westley braced himself against the bitter cold, wrapping his black fur lined
cloak around himself as he checked his winning smile in the mirror.  He opened the
door, waved to the small crowd of cheering fans hoping to catch a glimpse of the
Arena Champion and his teammates, and stepped out into the pre-Winter morning.  It
was unusually clear, and cursedly cold of course.  This was Stormcrowe, after all.
But it hadn't rained in nearly 36 hours, and that meant that the roads weren't muddy,
and perhaps the coach would arrive on time as it winded its way up the mountain pass.

                                    *** *** ***

     Westley was the only one on the landing as the coach pulled into position.  The
driver stepped down, dusted himself off, and moved toward the ornately gilded double
doors of the teak coach.  Westley smiled broadly as the door opened, hoping to see
his friend's smiling face in return.  He had anticipated this moment since he'd sent
his overgrown protege to the capital, days earlier.
     What greeted him instead was an aristocratic scowl.  The perfectly trimmed
goatee turned down in a frown, the well-heeled man extended his right hand toward The
Man In Black to assist him as climbed off the coach.
     "Make sure to have my belongings and personal effects delivered directly to the,
um" he consulted a paper pulled from his pocket, "Max's Miracle stable."  He locked
eyes and glared with Westley.  "I am not a patient man.  I am not accustomed to being
kept waiting."  He put the index finger of his right hand in Westley's face, and
jabbed at him to punctuate his point.  "I am not someone you want to be on the wrong
side of, trust me."
     Westley stared at the extra digit, and a new smiled formed on his face.
     "You have six fingers on your right hand.  Someone was looking for you."

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  We now have a 
new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  MEN OF ILL REPUTE now holds the 
crown and they are betting they can keep it.  Hey everybody, watch out for PULLED 
ORC, who flew up 12 points in the rankings after mashing WAR MAIDEN like a melon.  
Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the 
sands.  THE ALBINO was bested by TARG THE WHIP and drops 7 points.  Our battling 
duelmaster INIGO MONTOYA has managed to hold the title, fending off GLITRINA's none 
too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, NORTHERN LIGHTS.  4 out of 5 gladiators 
surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid SHEWISH BUFFET, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does STORMCROWE really have that 
many liars?  For those of you who like math, try this one:  SHEWISH BUFFET + Weapons 
That go Boom = MEN OF ILL REPUTE + Avoid City.  Well just about everybody wants a 
piece of BUTTERCUP, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Challenging down 30 
points was THE TRANSIENT.  Pretty soon he'll be using two shields and selling 'T.P.:  
The only way to clean up' pins.  Definition of petty:  THE TRANSIENT won victory over 
THE MAN IN BLACK, a mismatch of 30 points.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  BELLDANDY defied all odds and 
slew DARK CHAMPION in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as 
DARK CHAMPION's meat is notoriously tough.  This week 20-7-1 MR BEEFY was sent to the 
Dark Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take notice of 
this.  MR BEEFY says to his dog--'Who should I fight this week?'.  Dog says 'SHEWISH 
GIANT'.  So the guy dies.  Moral?  Put lying dogs to sleep.  Here's some advice:  
warriors with little wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     Well, there's the manager of the STORMCROWE giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Okay, so I may not be the world's 
best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Hasta la bye-bye. 
(Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 INIGO MONTOYA 813            18   9  0   125       MAX'S MIRACLE (123)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PULLED ORC 4702              17  11  0   107       SHEWISH BUFFET (520)
 THE TRANSIENT 3494           14   0  0   100       MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
 GLITRINA 4656                21  29  1    93       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SEAL DANCER 4686             18  18  1    81       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
 THE MAN IN BLACK 3417         7   7  0    78       MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
 WAR MAIDEN 4743              12   5  1    77       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 BUTTERCUP 3416               10   4  1    70       MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
 MADAME HYDRA 4752             9   4  0    67       DARQUE FORCES (428)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANGEL CAKE 4737               6  12  0    64       SHEWISH BUFFET (520)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCANDAL SAVAGE 4753           9   4  1    54       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 TARG THE WHIP 4264            5   2  0    54       MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
 SNAKE PLISKIN 3495            6   8  0    36       MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE ALBINO 3433               6   6  0    31       MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
 UKKO 4780                     4   0  0    29       GOING BERSERK (527)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THELEN THE REDD 4263          4   3  0    23       MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
-MISS DEMEANER 4791            1   1  0    23       STREET WALKERS (516)
 THE ICEMAN 4760               5   5  2    22       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
 ANTON CHIGURH 4794            2   0  0    22       MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
 LADY MACDEATH 4774            3   2  1    18       DARQUE FORCES (428)
 NOK GORKA 4779                3   1  0    18       GOING BERSERK (527)
-EVA DESTRUCTION 4703          3   2  0    18       STREET WALKERS (516)
 NACHO MAN 4796                2   0  0    18       SHEWISH BUFFET (520)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TC 4165                       1   2  0    10       ONLY IN MY DREAMS (478)
 ATALI 4770                    1   5  0     8       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
-JEALOUS JAMIE 4704            1   4  0     7       STREET WALKERS (516)
 FROST GIANT 4784              1   3  0     6       NORTHERN LIGHTS (393)
-TRAILOR TRASH 3673            0   1  0     5       SIMPLETONS (424)
 SNAEGH 4792                   0   1  0     3       GOING BERSERK (527)
 SLOPPY JOE 4797               0   2  0     2       SHEWISH BUFFET (520)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DA3 4793                1  1 0 GOING BERSERK 527    DARK CHAMPION         354  NONE
COUNT RUGEN 4806        0  1 0 MAX'S MIRACLE 123    SPYMASTER             354  NONE
FROSTBITER 4775         0  1 0 NORTHERN LIGHTS 393  LADY MACDEATH 4774    350  NOT REVENGED
SNACK 4805              0  1 0 SHEWISH BUFFET 520   ARENAMASTER NHOR      354  NONE
MR BEEFY 4618          20  7 1 STREET WALKERS 516   SHEWISH GIANT         354  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Belldandy -- Well fought!  I am proud to be Duelmaster for an arena that has such
warriors in it. -- Inigo Montoya

War Maiden -- I grow weary of losing to you.  If only Halbard were well suited to my
style... -- The Man In Black

Targ the Whip -- Wow!  What a train!  Can you do it again? -- Buttercup

Snake Pliskin -- I wasn't really "seeking" your death.  Just a little annoyed at the
challenge, is all. -- The Albino

Thelen the Redd -- Your name should be, Rope-A-Dope.  Emphasis on the dope.  Grrrrr
... I hate to lose. -- The Brute Squad

Assur -- Your dreams wouldn't have anything to do with the recent explosion of
Bashers in Stormcrowe, would it? -- Miracle Max, mgr of... well, you can guess that
I'm sure (still contractually obligated to say, "A wholly owned subsidiary of Trump
Gladiatorial Enterprises")

Seal Dancer -- The point of a rubber match?  Aha!  Very clever.  You can turn a
phrase with the best of them. -- Inigo

Belldandy -- It was quite amusing watching you pick up and drop your weapon
repeatedly during warmups.  Once the bell rang, though, you were much more sure
handed.  How do you do that? -- Inigo Montoya, Duelmaster of Stormcrowe

War Maiden -- Never a good matchup for me.  Just wish I'd dropped some in
recognition. -- MIB

Targ the Whip -- So I down challenged a bit?  Big deal!  YOU'RE the Man of Ill
Repute.  I think you have more explaining to do, than I! -- Buttercup, butt hurt by
the bad press

Snake Pliskin -- Aha!  Another down challenge.  Why didn't THIS one make the funny
papers?  The press must answer for their skewed bias!!! -- Buttercup, media crusader

     All biases are skewed, by definition.

Thelen the Redd -- That trip to the infirmary must have given me a Permanent Wound.
There is no other explanation for my dying in the Grand Tourney. -- Ghost of The
Brute Squad

The worst part about losing a warrior in the tourney is that I don't even get a
chance to Blood Feud.  The Brute Squad was a beautiful 11-6-16-15-17-5-15 LU +4 Init.
He will be missed. -- Miracle Max

Our congratulations to Belldandy and Mr. Beefy. -- Jorja and the Northern Lights

Fewer dead this time, which probably just means we're running out of lemmings.

An oh-fer turn for us (and no standbys).  We don't want to talk about it, though if
somebody talks to us, we'll answer next time. -- Glitrina and the Northern Lights

I think a comment to Nacho Man, maybe an invitation to bring his signature snacks by
our guildhouse, is in order! -- Atali

Madame Hydra -- I bet you don't like visiting dogs. -- Seal Dancer

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BELLDANDY viciously butchered DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
MR BEEFY was savagely slain by SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 6 minute Dark Arena melee.
DA3 was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
COUNT RUGEN was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SNACK was murdered by ARENAMASTER NHOR in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
THE TRANSIENT bested THE MAN IN BLACK in a popular 3 minute Challenge duel.
BUTTERCUP bested ANGEL CAKE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge match.
TARG THE WHIP handily defeated THE ALBINO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
UKKO won victory over LADY MACDEATH in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
INIGO MONTOYA vanquished GLITRINA in a 2 minute one-sided Title duel.
PULLED ORC vanquished WAR MAIDEN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MADAME HYDRA was defeated by SEAL DANCER in a 2 minute match.
SCANDAL SAVAGE handily defeated CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SNAKE PLISKIN demolished THE ICEMAN in a 1 minute bloody mismatched match.
THELEN THE REDD devastated FROST GIANT in a 3 minute bloody one-sided battle.
ATALI was overpowered by NOK GORKA in a 1 minute gory mismatched conflict.
ANTON CHIGURH won victory over SLOPPY JOE in a 2 minute gruesome amateur's bout.
NACHO MAN viciously subdued SNAEGH in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody amateur's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         LUNGING ATTACK    23 -  18 -  1      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     13 -  11 -  0      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         TOTAL PARRY       10 -   9 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  13 -  1      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         BASHING ATTACK    21 -  26 -  6      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  13 -  1      41  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW        10 -  18 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   5 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 354 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  3         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-RIPOSTE    INIGO MONTOYA 813          18   9  0  125 MAX'S MIRACLE (123)
LUNGING ATTACK   PULLED ORC 4702            17  11  0  107 SHEWISH BUFFET (520)
TOTAL PARRY      THE TRANSIENT 3494         14   0  0  100 MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
WALL OF STEEL    WAR MAIDEN 4743            12   5  1   77 DARQUE FORCES (428)
AIMED BLOW       SCANDAL SAVAGE 4753         9   4  1   54 DARQUE FORCES (428)
STRIKING ATTACK  TARG THE WHIP 4264          5   2  0   54 MEN OF ILL REPUTE (395)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ANGEL CAKE 4737.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was THE MAN IN BLACK 3417.  The ten other most popular fighters were ANGEL CAKE 4737, 
NACHO MAN 4796, SNAEGH 4792, DA3 4793, BUTTERCUP 3416, SEAL DANCER 4686, THELEN THE 
REDD 4263, TARG THE WHIP 4264, INIGO MONTOYA 813, and PULLED ORC 4702.

The least popular fighter this week was SLOPPY JOE 4797.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were ATALI 4770, FROST GIANT 4784, THE ICEMAN 4760, WAR MAIDEN 4743, THE 
ALBINO 3433, SNACK 4805, COUNT RUGEN 4806, SNAKE PLISKIN 3495, SCANDAL SAVAGE 4753, 
and GLITRINA 4656.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

MR BEEFY (45-4618) STREET WALKERS (516)
BELLDANDY (45-4714) DARQUE FORCES (428)

                 FACE-TO-FACE TOURNEY LIII

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
LAPUR BISQUE 4676 (17-3-3)             3  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY LVIII

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SCORPIUS 3752 (46-33-0)                0  2  0         KNIGHT BREED         

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
YUFFIE 4291 (28-23-1)                  2  3  0         DARQUE FORCES        

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
CALLOUS COURTNEY 4622 (16-3-2)         2  3  0         STREET WALKERS       
JOSIE WALES 4620 (18-1-2)              1  3  0         STREET WALKERS       

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
UKKO 4780 (3-0-0)                      4  3  0         GOING BERSERK        
THE BRUTE SQUAD 4773 (2-2-0)           2  3  0  DEAD   MAX'S MIRACLE        
CESSA RUGNARE 1482 (0-0-0)             0  2  0         DOLI CAPAX           

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BENDER 4804 (0-0-0)                    2  3  0         SIMPLETONS           
ABIGAIL 4247 (0-0-0)                   0  2  0         KING DIAMOND         
WEALREAFER 1481 (0-0-0)                0  2  0         DOLI CAPAX           

DEAD CHALLENGERS TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
A CHEERLEADER 1092 (10-9-1)            3  3  0         AVID FANS            
TICKET TAKER 2522 (0-1-0)              0  2  0         AVID FANS            

DEAD ADEPTS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ABRACADAVER 4609 (0-0-0)               0  2  0         PHANTOM REGIMENT     

DEAD INITIATES TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RODEKI MARSALA 4701 (1-1-0)            6  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       
ARUAK LAMB 4748 (0-0-0)                4  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       

DEAD APPRENTICES TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
WESTLEY 919 (2-3-0)                    3  3  0         MAX'S MIRACLE        

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.