Date   : 06/15/2009    Duedate: 06/27/2009


DM-46    TURN-555

This Weeks Top Honors


(46-4124) [9-2-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FANDILS (75)                   
(46-4124) [9-2-0,111]          

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

(46-4114) [11-14-0,47]         (46-4143) [4-7-1,36]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DEATHTONGUE (89)            72
2. FANDILS (75)                20      FANDILS (75)
3. BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)      6      Unchartered Team
4. INFERNAL LORDS (8)           0
                                       CAMERAS:ACTION! (187)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 FANDILS (75)             981 710 35 58.0   1/ 1 DEATHTONGUE (89)         11  4 0
 2/ 2 DEATHTONGUE (89)         %1195 868 58 57.9   2/ 2 FANDILS (75)              8  4 0
 3- 3 INFERNAL LORDS (8)       288 233 15 55.3   3/ 3 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)   5 10 0
 4/ 4 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)  516 820 14 38.6   4- 4 INFERNAL LORDS (8)        1  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #31 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lady Fern knew that her brothers Fandil and Lenpro were competent men, and that
they had each followed up what they considered an important point in the current
problem.  But she could not help feeling that they had, each of them, overlooked the
key to the problem, or at least the point which should have been dealt with FIRST:
the King.
     Whether the true king had died some time ago or was alive but under magical
control or any of several other possibilities, the important thing, as she saw it,
was to insure that command of the Andorian League did not fall into the wrong hands.
Yes, the causes of the problem, which Fandil thought he had a line on, needed to be
dealt with.  And yes, the secondary results of the problem such as intolerance of the
Aruaki, which Lenpro had gone out to tackle, did need to be dealt with, too.
     But the previous kings of the League had not made much effort to draw it
together into a coherent whole, and if the king failed, it would--almost must--fall
apart into its constituent parts.  Fratsfa, Convincia, Ardivent, and the Aruaki
Clanholds.  Raltumas... she shrugged.  That was probably lost.  Which, also, an
active king might have prevented.
     So she had done what seemed reasonable to her, and sent one of her Girls, the
Outcast Orchid, to Andor to find out what was going on.  It seemed so obvious.  No
magical scrying, no careful collating of reports from spies and chance travelers,
just... go and look.  She'd been tempted to make up a party drawn from several teams
here, because though her Girls were Good Girls, they were easily distracted.  But in
the end she had not.  Time enough to involve more people when she had some
information to work with.  Orchid had strict instructions not to become involved with
people along the way, just to go, see, and return to report what she had seen.  It
would have to be enough.


     Outcast Orchid leaned against a pillar along the Processional Way--whatever the
actual name of the avenue was, she didn't know or care--and waited for the King to
drive past in his carriage.  It had been a boring trip.  No fraternization with
anybody!  She understood why her manager had give that order, but it had been hard to
follow.  All the opportunities she'd passed by!  She let her eyes wander across the
crowd waiting for the king to appear.  There was a fine-looking man in the prime of
life who looked like he might know a thing or two.  And over there a young man, full
of energy, who might be a gladiator--he looked like he could hardly wait for the
king's carriage to come into view.  It was good to see someone who really cared; and
he had several more probable gladiators with him.  They must have come from one of
the Convincian arenas to see the king.  And that man over there, my, wasn't HE a cute
     A stirring in the crowd at the end of the block.  Not a cheer, but....  No, she
couldn't say what it was, exactly.  She wasn't good at finding words for stuff like
that.  Not exactly excitement, but greater attention.  Focus.  Probably the king's
carriage.  Or at least the head of the procession.
     Yes, here they came.  Guards.  Fine looking men, really fine.  Very serious,
practically stone-faced, but they were on duty, after all.  Then ordinary men in
fancy clothing.  Lesser members of the government, she guessed.  Some of them looked
like nobles, and some reminded her a LOT of Commission officials.  A bureaucrat
doesn't change from office to office.  More guards, looking more tense.
     "I was against this," a man beside her muttered.  "I told them from the
beginning that it would be better to keep it simple."
     She turned to look at him.  Oh, my, really cute!  Dark and gloomy, looked like a
poet.  She could have FUN with a man like that, but... she had her orders.
     "You think the parade is a mistake?"
     "That, too.  The more they bring their 'king' out in public, the more chance for
people to see that something's wrong.  But they have insisted on displaying... him.
No, it's this that's going to happen next.  I advised against it.  I did!  But they
WILL have their drama, and I, the gods forgive me, helped them set it up."  He shook
his head, looking more gloomy and romantical than ever.  "You should move away from
me.  I'm dangerous company."
     Orchid was going to ask him what he was talking about, but the carriage came
into view around the corner.  Okay, she could ask questions later.  Right now, her
most imperative command was to SEE.  To see the king, and report what she'd seen.
Accurately, which meant she had to pay attention here.  The carriage was moving
slowly, so she had plenty of time to observe it.
     The man on the rear seat, in the purple robes and the golden crown, must be the
king.  Who else could it be?  But she hadn't expected the crown, somehow.  She'd seen
Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa, and he didn't wear a crown.  She studied the king, if that
was him, closely.  Lady Fern would want details.  He didn't look... huh.  Not much of
anything.  Not interested in the city going past him, not bored by the parade, not
angry at something, not... anything.  Not particularly healthy, not actually sick.
He seemed so much a blank that it was disconcerting.
     "What's WRONG with him?"  She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until she
heard the words hanging in the air.  Too late to call them back.
     "Aside from the fact that you're looking at a golem with no more mind than a
puppet?  Not a thing.  As empty golems go, it's a fairly good one."
     "A... golem?"  She turned to look at the man beside her.  "Then what happened to
the KING?"
     He shrugged.  "Nobody who's talking knows."
     He took her arm gently and turned her back toward the parade.  "Watch this."
His voice was grim.  "Watch closely, not just the 'king', and see if you can spot the
flaws.  Someone needs to know, besides me."
     Orchid focused on the carriage again, then began to look at the people closest
around it.  The neatly arrayed ranks of guards had gotten out of step and out of line
when they turned the corner back there.  Surely guards knew how to handle corners?
But they were being slow to reorganize their ranks.  The group she'd identified as
almost certainly gladiators--half a dozen of them--surged forward.  To protect--  No!
They were ATTACKING the king!  She stood for a few seconds in stunned disbelief, then
shook herself together and took a step forward.  She had to protect--
     The grip on her arm tightened, holding her back.  "No, lady, don't throw your
life away for nothing.  That is not the king, it was never the king, and this
'assassination' was arranged by--  Better, probably, if I don't tell you.  They sniff
out guilty knowledge like pig sniffing truffles.  Take what you have seen and get out
of town as quickly as you can without attracting suspicion.  Tell people--it's
important that people know what really happened here--"
     "Come with me," she said.  "You're in danger, too, aren't you?"
     "Yes, but I put myself in the path of--"
     A scream cut off his words.  She looked back.  The words of so many spy reports
ran through her head:  Blood on a purple robe may stain.  That robe was badly
stained.  But it was the gladiator-assassins who were screaming as the guards closed
around them and cut them down.  Cut them into pieces.  The pavement was awash with
     The grip on her elbow dragged her back into the concealment of the milling
crowd, then into a side street.  "Come away, lady, while you still can."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): ZENITH of Z GLADIATORZ (? , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): GEORGE FOREMUN of ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): PAUL WEIDORFER of MEDAL OF HONOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): AMARANTH of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (?, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): CHARLES DEGLOPPER of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): ANNA BEATRICE of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): BILLY JOHNSON of 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): VAJRA VALMEJAR of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Armalias, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 211): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): SUPERIOR FATHER et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 309): CONCUSSION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               MOCHA MONKEY of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 620): MR FANG of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 606): SUZETTE CREPPAY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 601): LITTLE ROCKY of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 571): DAY TURNER of MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): ROBERT DUNLAP of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                 (turn 562): TERRINDAR of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 553): BUM of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 210): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Wow!  So early on in my career!  But I just had to give Bum a try.  Having seen
his "post," I think I see, now, why I came out on top.
     Duelmaster.  It has a kind of ring to it, don't you think?  I'd like to think
there are more titles where that came from, but with all the tough competition at the
top, I have to be realistic.  I will need some luck, luck, luck.
     I just thought of something cool!  If you were to take all the current Fandil
starting stats, and throw them in a pot, our best and
worst warrior would be:
What's that tell you?  Interesting team?
     Enough of that.  Will I be back?  I hope so.  'Til next time, I remain

                Anna Beatrice, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt ARDIVENT will ever be the same.  And let's see, ALF MUSHPIE fought JENNIMYS 
COLLIN and gained 22 points and contributed to DEATHTONGUE's 4-1-0.  JENNIMYS COLLIN 
has lost to ALF MUSHPIE, falling 4 points, while helping make BLUVALLEY WARRIORS a 
1-4-0 turn.  Defending hers title for another turn, ANNA BEATRICE kept DEATHTONGUE's 
warrior, BINKLY, from claiming the throne.  Can someone confirm a rumor for me?  I 
hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at The Victory Tavern until 
they win.  Maybe?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  I also notice that the INFERNAL LORDS 
stable was the most avoided team this turn.  Come on ARDIVENT, what are you afraid 
of?  And guess who avoided INFERNAL LORDS stable the most?  Believe it or not, it was 
FANDILS.  Anyone surprised?  The most challenged warrior this turn was BLUVALLEY 
WARRIORS' warrior TANIA PARK.  More fighters challenged her than challenged the 
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  A brave warrior does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover 
or hide when the fight is over.  Consider well.   
     Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the 
sweetest.  Always good to rest in ARDIVENT, but never good to wear out my welcome.  
Look for me in future turns.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to paper-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANNA BEATRICE 4124            9   2  0   111       FANDILS (75)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EUROQ 3901                   12  10  2    86       INFERNAL LORDS (8)
-TEMPTATION 3314              13  11  1    84       INFERNAL LORDS (8)
 SNORKY 4134                  10   7  1    79       DEATHTONGUE (89)
 BINKLY 4115                  14  10  0    69       DEATHTONGUE (89)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TANIA PARK 4117              15   9  0    58       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ABBOL 4080                   12  18  0    54       INFERNAL LORDS (8)
 MUNGO BURKE 4097             12  16  0    52       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
 BETTY 4149                    5   5  0    52       DEATHTONGUE (89)
-SIS 4153                      4   1  0    52       FANDILS (75)
 ALF MUSHPIE 4151              5   4  0    50       DEATHTONGUE (89)
 JENNIMYS COLLIN 4114         11  14  0    47       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
-IRONWOLF 274                  5   1  0    42       BARBARIAN HORDE (47)
 UNCLE BOB 4143                4   7  1    36       FANDILS (75)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LILY CATHERINE 4154           4   1  1    28       FANDILS (75)
-NOVE 4139                     7   5  0    26       INFERNAL LORDS (8)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BROTHER JEROME 4152           4   1  0    23       FANDILS (75)
 BINGO LITTLE 4148             5   6  0    21       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
-UG 271                        4   2  1    19       BARBARIAN HORDE (47)
-KROKUS 272                    4   2  0    19       BARBARIAN HORDE (47)
-TARAMON 270                   3   3  0    18       BARBARIAN HORDE (47)
-WEASEL 273                    4   2  0    15       BARBARIAN HORDE (47)
 FRAN BRAN 4157                1   0  0    12       DEATHTONGUE (89)
 RANDELL SCOT 4156             0   5  0     5       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Fratsfan Noble -- What's a guy like you doing in this dismal place?  Penance? --
Brother Jerome

Randell -- It took me a while, but finally I got lucky. -- Lily Catherine

Bum -- WOF always says that a Deathtongue win is like double the satisfaction.  Do
you think he really means it?

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  The Red Sands await. -- Fandil The Wise

Bingo -- Oooh, aren't you the cutest little thing. -- Alf

Anna -- Quick lil minx. -- Bum

Jennimys -- I likes 'em exciting. -- Snorky

Mungo -- What ho! -- Binkly

Tania -- I'll have me a can opener for next time. -- Betty

Alf Mushpie -- Oh, I say, rather a mess, that, isn't it?  I never encountered a
mashed-potato pie before, but I can see that it, ah, stands up well when you get set
to heave it about.  I'll have to talk to the cook at the Club about this.  It could
give a whole new dimension to food fights.  Not that it will ever replace the bun-in-
flight, but a little variety never hurts.  Well, so long as it's soft variety. --
Bingo Little

Snorky -- I wouldn't have thought a golem could BE that rude.  Were you designed for
it?  I mean, you sounded rather like, well, not to put too fine a point on it, a pig
rooting through the leaves.  Sneezed like it, too. -- Jennimys Collin

Binkly -- Our Typist almost through the fight report away unread because it was stuck
to the back of Jenny's, and I wouldn't have minded.  This is not the kind of day that
is improved by reading that I lost a fight.  How I lost a fight.  Go away.  I need a
cup of tea.  With something in it. -- Mungo Burke

Betty -- Looks like the handicapper is out to get you, eh?  You should have seized
this chance to learn a lot.  I know lots of good things that I could teach you.  The
secret to Uncle Don's Meatloaf, for instance. -- Tania Park

Lily Catherine -- Drat, that's what I get for not keeping my mind on the job.  I was
trying to figure out which half of you was the elf, and didn't dodge fast enough.  I
figure THAT is the elvish half.  Sneaky, elves.  Oh, wait, I'm an elf.  Well, then,
it must be that it's your human half that's sneaky. -- Randell Scot

Brother Jerome -- You need the whole B complex, you know, not just B 13. -- Bingo

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

UNCLE BOB was devastated by TANIA PARK in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
ANNA BEATRICE demolished BINKLY in a 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
SNORKY defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 4 minute duel.
JENNIMYS COLLIN was devastated by ALF MUSHPIE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
MUNGO BURKE was overpowered by BETTY in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BROTHER JEROME bested TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 4 minute duel.
BINGO LITTLE was savagely defeated by LILY CATHERINE in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
RANDELL SCOT was handily defeated by FRAN BRAN in a 2 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   4 -  0      73  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         AIMED BLOW         7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -   9 -  1      61  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   7 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  19 -  1      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    14 -  13 -  0      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   8 -  0      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -  10 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   6 -  0      14  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 555 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         3  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  ANNA BEATRICE 4124          9   2  0  111 FANDILS (75)
WALL OF STEEL    SNORKY 4134                10   7  1   79 DEATHTONGUE (89)
AIMED BLOW       BINKLY 4115                14  10  0   69 DEATHTONGUE (89)
TOTAL PARRY      TANIA PARK 4117            15   9  0   58 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
LUNGING ATTACK   ALF MUSHPIE 4151            5   4  0   50 DEATHTONGUE (89)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JENNIMYS COLLIN 4114.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was UNCLE BOB 4143.  The ten other most popular fighters were LILY CATHERINE 
4154, SNORKY 4134, ANNA BEATRICE 4124, ALF MUSHPIE 4151, BETTY 4149, FRAN BRAN 4157, 

The least popular fighter this week was RANDELL SCOT 4156.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BROTHER JEROME 4152, MUNGO BURKE 4097, JENNIMYS COLLIN 4114, 

                          SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN CLEVELAND!

Our summer FTF will be an eastern one this time, located in Cleveland, Ohio  on July 
17-19, 2009.  It will be held at the Holiday Inn in Strongsville, OH, at 15471 
Royalton Rd (440-238-8800).  Rooms are only $95.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy.  

There is a free shuttle from the airport, free parking, and free high-speed wireless 
internet in all guestrooms ($3/day in public space).  The hotel has an indoor pool, 
pool table, and hockey, and a fitness center.   The hotel is located 1/2 mile from the 
largest mall in Northeast Ohio, with indoor minigolf and pottery painting, and right 
next door to Iceland Arena, which offers open skate and skate rental.  They also have 
four bikes on property available for checkout, as the Metro parks are next door as 
well.  The rooms are blocked--ask for the "Reality Simulations" room block.  There are 
many restaurants and nightspots nearby and at the Mall, as well as a cafe in the 

The tournament information sheet will be out imminently.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to the tournament and that we will see you there!