Date   : 06/11/2012    Duedate: 06/23/2012


DM-46    TURN-633

This Weeks Top Honors


(46-3919) [9-2-0,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)      THE 27 CLUB (374)
(46-3919) [9-2-0,111]          (46-4255) [3-2-0,30]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MARCI FOOTE                    UNCLE JUNIOR
(46-4202) [22-26-1,107]        (46-4300) [2-6-0,26]


THE 27 CLUB (374)

Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE 27 CLUB (374)           27
3. SUPERHEROS (379)            19      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)   13
5. AZURE CLOUDS (183)           7      SUPERHEROS (379)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BASH BROS. WAITRES (351)  17   5  0 77.3   1/ 5*THE 27 CLUB (374)         8  5 0
 2- 3 ERRATA (357)              45  27  0 62.5   2/ 2 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)   8  7 0
 3/ 4 FANDILS (75)             %1199 819 41 59.4   3/ 1 AZURE CLOUDS (183)        6  3 0
 4- 5 24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)    19  14  1 57.6   4/ 3 BASH BROS. WAITRES (351)  5  1 0
 5- 6*EXOTIC BLADES (373)        4   3  1 57.1   5- 4 ERRATA (357)              5  1 0
 6/ 7 AZURE CLOUDS (183)        77  64  3 54.6   6- 7*EXOTIC BLADES (373)       4  3 1
 7/ 8*SUPERHEROS (379)           8   7  0 53.3   7/ 8 FANDILS (75)              3  7 0
 8/ 9*THE 27 CLUB (374)         11  11  0 50.0   8/10*SUPERHEROS (379)          2  3 0
 9/10 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)  679 %1039 20 39.5   9- 6 24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)    1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                               NOT MUCH TIME IS LEFT
                          ENTER THE TURF WAR COMPETITION
                                  TEAMS ARE NEEDED

     The Turf War is coming.  The Turf War is coming.  TW8 will begin in DM47 the
first turn following the Philadelphia Face.  Mark July 27 on your calendar.  There is
only one turn left between now and The Wars -- the one on July 3.  Sign up.  Find a
team.  Choose a captain.  Get confirmed.  And send in your two rollup certs.  You can
do it all in the July 3 newsletter.  DO NOT MISS OUT ON THIS COMPETITION AND THE
     The status of the current entries (as of June 5) is as follows:

M*MBO (Master Darque)           Dec  Conf  CertsIn
Ottodrome (Otto X)               y     y     y
Bubba's TW Army (Bubbagnoosh)    y     y     y
Darque Forces (Master Darque)    y     y     y
Fast Food (Madwand)              y     y     y

OZ FEAST LE BANANA (Mannequin)  Dec  Conf  Certs In
Second Bananas (Mannequin)       y     y     y
Mystic Orc Feast (Slugbait)      y     y     y
Land of Oz (Oz)                  y     y     y
Les Turfistes (Le Pentarque)     y     y     y

CLUB FED (Vae Victus)           Dec  Conf  CertsIn
In Qeternum (Vae Victus)         y     y     y
Obsidian Order (Skaven)          y     y     y
Devil's Rejects (Lucifer)        N     N     y
Real Men Wear Pink (Glitter Boy) y     y     N

LBA (Assur)                     Dec  Conf  CertsIn
Bash Bros Park (Assur)           y     y     y
Shewish Buffet (OAB)             y     y     y
Horny Goat -X (Grimm)            N     N     N

     Perhaps you have not seen the rules for TW8, which has been posted in all
newsletters?  Here they are.

                                *TURF WAR 8 RULES*

Starting July 30 2012 (12 turns)
Bring acclaim and glory to the North Fork (DM47) arena.

Anyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created solely to compete in the Turf War!  To participate, each alliance must:
        1.  Announce the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork (DM 47)
        2.  Indicate in the newsletter which Captain/alliance you will join.
        3.  Announcements made on the D2 Forums or elsewhere will not be accepted.

Captains are responsible for:
        1.  Verifying/authorizing, in the North Fork newsletter those who wish to
participate under the banner of their alliance. The confirmation/verification must
occur after, or in the same newsletter, but not before, the participants declaration.
(Lack of participant indication of joining and/or subsequent lack of Captain
confirmation will delay a team's participation in the Turf War.)
        2.  Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
        3.  Submit two (2) RSI Roll-Up Certificates to participate.  (Note: Captains
may, if they wish, submit certs for all potential members of their alliance.)

Participating managers who are not Captains must:
        1.  Submit two (2) RSI Roll-Up Certificates to participate (Unless already
submitted by Captain.  Note: extras will not be returned, but will go into the
winning pool of prizes.)
        2.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name, and
alliance they will represent in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.  Announcement made
on the D2 Forums will not be accepted.
               a.  No scores will be tabulated until an RSI Gift Certificate is
received, and participant indication and captain confirmation are posted in the North
Fork newsletter.  NO EXCEPTIONS.
               b.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare themselves in
the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter as stated above AND be verified in the same or
subsequent newsletter by the alliance Captain they will represent.
               c.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  No arena multiple teams
or aliases will be allowed.  Violations will result in immediate manager
disqualification (including team point adjustments) from the Turf War (so be sure to
take any multiple teams OFF of Team Maintenance and be certain not to run any other
team warriors).
               d.  Scoring will NOT be retroactive for teams/alliances that do not
properly declare or get captain confirmation or fail to send a Gift Certificate by
Turn 1.  In other words, if your Gift Certificate is not received until Turn 3 of the
Turf War, and you have fought on Turns 1 and 2, your score will not begin until Turn
3.  All conditions must be met before scoring will begin--declaration, verification,
and Gift Certificate received.
               e.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 3 of
the Turf War.
               f.  For purposes of scoring, the moderators will score the Turf War
and settle any and all disputes as they arise.  Their decisions will be final.
(Note: the intent is to have a very thorough set of rules so that few decisions, if
any, are required from the moderators.)

Scoring will be as follows for Fights:
                                   Win   Loss   Kill      Die
Challenge (up or within same class) +2     -2     +5       -5
Down Challenge "Challenger"         -2     -2     -5       -5
Down Challenge "Challenged"         +2      0     +5       -5
Match Up                            +1     -1     +1       -5
Bloodfeud Challenge (Up or Down)    +2     -5     +5      -10 
Champion **                         x2     x2     x2       x2
Dark Arena*                        +10     -5     xx       xx
Tournament Death***                                        -3
Halfway (6 round total) best alliance win/loss percentage ****
Final (12 round total) alliance w/l% percentage ****
    * After 2nd win in DA, warrior scores no additional points for wins.
    ** Champions double applies to his score only - not to opponent.
    *** No warrior may be substituted without the proper use of the DA or arena death
or death in a tournament or graduation.  There must be a maximum of five only on a
team at any point and time.  (The penalty for such substitution is -10 points.)
Points awarded for team tournament participation are 1 for 1 entrant, 3 for 2
entrants, 6 for 3 entrants, 10 for 4 entrants, and 15 for 5 entrants.  A TV scores 7
points or a TC scores 15 points.   Death in a tournament results in a -3 score.
    ***** Halfway points scored are 25, 20, 15, 10, 5, 5, 5 (etc) for 1st, 2nd, 3rd
(etc).  (To qualify for any of these points the alliance must have fought 75% of its
possible fights.)  Final 12 Round points scored are 40, 30, 20, 15, 10, 5, 5, 5 (etc)
for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd (etc).  (To qualify for any of these points the alliance must
have fought 75% of its possible fights.)

Special Scoring Considerations for the Turf War are as follows:
Full Team:                                        +1
      1. A team which fights 4+ warriors (Includes DAing) gets a point
Full Alliance                                     +1
      2. An alliance were ALL teams get a Full Team point earns a point
Full Team/Alliance scores
      3. Will double for the last half (6 rounds) of TW8.
Style Master:                                     +2
      1. No matter how many stylemasters, an individual team can score only +2 per
Duelmaster:                                       +2
      1. Duelmaster points shall be earned separate of stylemaster points.

     1.  A Champion may be declared, but one is not mandatory.
     2.  Only one Champion allowed per manager at any given time.
     3.  Champions that graduate or are killed by another warrior in the arena, but
         not the Dark Arena, may be replaced.
     4.  Champions must have fought at least one previous fight in the North Fork
         (DM47 arena) to be able to be declared a champion.
     5.  A Champion can be declared on any round and point factors will begin that
         same turn.  (Must meet above 4 conditions prior to declaring.)

        1.  Bloodfeuds will score points on all four (4) turns.
        2.  There is no limit to which warrior may bloodfeud or how often.
        3.  To score as a bloodfeud, then feud/death must have occurred totally
within the TW8.  (E.g. Feuds created prior to TW8 will not be deemed or scored as a
bloodfeud, but rather as a challenge or downchallenge.

        1.  A downchallenge occurs when a warrior challenges a warrior in a lower
class.  (Lower class is defined as lower than the identical class.  E.g. A challenger
champion class challenging a champion class is a down challenge.)
        2.  In TW8 a standard challenge is up (in recognition points), parallel or
within the identical class but lower recognition.
        3.  No challenge by The Duelmaster shall be deemed a downchallenge.  (This
rule supersedes all other downchallenge rules.)

Tournament Considerations:
        1.  Tournament participation is allowed and ENCOURAGED as a great form of
recognition for North Fork.
        2.  Tournament Victors (live only) won during the course of the contest will
gain a one (1) time bonus of 7 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a warrior(s)
wins such status.
        3.  Tournament Champions (live only) won during the course of the contest
will gain a one (1) time bonus of 15 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a
warrior(s) win such status.
        4.  Points awarded for tournament participation are are 1 for 1 entrant, 3
for 2 entrants, 6 for 3 entrants, 10 for 4 entrants, and 15 for 5 entrants.  A TV
scores 7 points additional or a TC scores 15 points additional.  Death in a
tournament results in an additional -3 score.
        5.  Points for entrants, TVs, TCs, and tournament deaths will be applied the
Turn after RSI posts tournament results in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter (i.e.,
if the results post on North Fork turn 300, points will be credited on North Fork
turn 301 to the applicable teams).

Special Considerations:
        1.  Each alliance begins the Turf War with zero (0) points.
        2.  There will be NO alliance or team changes once the contest has begun.  If
you begin the Turf War with Alliance A, you must end the Turf War with Alliance A.
If you begin the Turf War with Team A, you must end the Turf War with Team A.
        3.  There will be a maximum of four (4) teams/managers allowed per alliance
for the Turf War VII.  The minimum is two (2).
        4.  The Dark Arena may be used on the first FE turn (e.g. no arena or
tournament fights) only, of every warrior, without penalty.
        5.  If at any time, the Moderators determine that any non-TW team in the
arena is aiding and/or abetting any TW alliance or team, the affected points won by
the gifted team/alliance will be disallowed and the aiding non-TW team will be asked
to desist from play in the arena until after the Turf War concludes.

The Turf War is meant to be a "winner takes all" contest.  However, for TW8, a prize
(RU cert) will be awarded each of the twelve turns to the individual team/manager
that fights five fights and has the best w/l record that turn. (Tiebreakers are in
this order -- kills, recognition points earned.)  All prizes and 100% of the Gift
Certificates will be awarded to the Captain of the winning alliance at the end of the
competition.  It is the responsibility of the Captain to distribute Gift
Certificates.  Moderators will submit a list of each manager on the winning alliance
to RSI at the completion of the contest for the non-Certificate prizes.

     All entry fees (rollup certs) are awarded to the winning alliance, except for
the twelve reserved for the individual winning manager each week.)
     The following prizes have been secured from RSI:
        1.  Renaming of the North Fork (DM 47) arena;
        2.  Renaming of all Dark Arena Monsters (two for each manager in the winning
alliance, and two additional for the captain of the alliance).
        3.  Known Favorites for one DM47 warrior on each team of the winning alliance
(warrior must be ranked Initiate or above, must be alive, and must have at least one
DM47 arena fight to receive this award).
        4.  +1 Skill bonus (three) for each manager on the winning alliance.  Bonus
potions must be applied to living warriors from DM 47, no more than two skills per
        5.  +1 Skill bonus potion (one) for each and every individual manager who
fights in all 12 rounds AND 54 fights of the Turf War.  Bonus potion must be applied
to a living warrior from (DM 47)
        6. Two additional rollup certs for each manager of the winning alliance from
     These RSI awards will be listed by the Moderator for claiming from RSI (Lee)
within 4 turns of the end of TW VI. The certs will be mailed to the winning alliance
by the Moderators within two weeks of the end of the TW.

The Moderators for this event will be Oz and Master Darque.  They will arbitrate all
dealings during the course of the contest.  Their decisions will be final.  All
questions, comments, and scoring disputes may be directed to Land of Oz or Darque
Forces via diplo in DM 47.  Managers with internet access may send a private message
to [The Consortium] or [Darque] on the Duel2 Forums.  Lastly, you may also email
questions, comments, and scoring disputes to rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or
wfms101 at aol dot com.

Please note there have been rule changes from the last Turf War.  Please read them

This contest will begin in late July 2012 following the Summer FTF.
                             **TW8 Revision 06-05-12**

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 349): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 699): SLARTIBARTFAST of THE HITCHHIKERS (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 699): VLAD THE IMPALER of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 684): ROMO of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisant, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 686): TARANA STONE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 683): RAGDOLL of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 680): SEETHER of WENSINWASIN 5.5.2. (Khorvinus, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 681): EMERICA of RESCUE RANGERS II (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 644): LINAEA DEANE of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 641): JACK DANIELS of I C DRUNK PEOPLE (Floyd, mgr.)
                                              (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 526): KUNG PAO KOLACTAN of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 584): COYOTE of BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (A-Sop, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 649): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 699): THE ASSEMBLY (Froot E. Bowl, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 699): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 684): MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 686): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 683): ANDROID DUNGEON 010 (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 680): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 681): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 644): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 641): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 632): AZURE CLOUDS (slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 296): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 526): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 250): WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 584): SUPERIOR FORCES et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 698): BERLAM FOOTE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 686): TARANA STONE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
                (turn 685): RINGWORM of WRESTLING (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 683): WAIT of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 681): EMERICA of RESCUE RANGERS II (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
             (turn 680): DREAM OF DAY of RANDOM (JE, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 644): LORIS DEANE of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): AREOPOLITE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 250): RAPUNZEL of DARQUE FORCES V (Master Darque, mgr.)
                 (turn 249): SUGAR HILL GANG of RAP ATTACKS (Marma Duke, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Sandbagger?!?  I'm hurt.  I'm just a gal trying to make a living, waiting on
tables, fighting on the side.  I've fought in only two tourneys and Assur says I can
quit my day job when I get immortality and be a full time gladiator.  In the
meantime, you'll see me fighting by day, waiting tables by night.  Too many bills!
     This time, our fight was much different, but unfortunately the cook messed up
Shelley's order again.  I do not understand what our cook's problem is.  It is
surprising I get tips at all.  But people are sometimes kind.  Not always, but
     My challenges go out to the strikers, my avoid to the slasher.

-- The Cook Messed Up

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ARDIVENT?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Later days, AZURE CLOUDS, since THE 27 
CLUB took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  THE 27 CLUB turned 
their 3-1-0 turn into a 1st place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than 
this, and you get put on hit lists.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see 
KURT COBAIN win a fight and gain 14 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, MARCI FOOTE beat 
SHELLEY ANN and SHELLEY ANN lost 7 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And if variety 
is the spice of life, ARDIVENT may be getting bland, as THE COOK MESSED UP stays top 
dog in the city.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you this?  
You want to know what's new, don't you, ARDIVENT?   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
What's the big D?  ERRATA was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And who led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  
Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was AZURE CLOUDS.  Ha ha ha ha!  MARCI FOOTE was 
challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or 
feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to BLACK BILE of AZURE CLOUDS 
for challenging up by 24 to LONG BIGGAR.  BLACK BILE lost to get 63 points of 
recognition.  And we have VIOLENT ORANGE in a challenge, going down 15 points for the 
fight.  Guess what?  I thought VIOLENT ORANGE showed great skill and promise when she 
won victory over CORBIN ROSS.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave 
team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Just wait 'till next time I show up 
here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Paste this one in your scrapbooks, you'll need 
the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE COOK MESSED UP 3919       9   2  0   111       BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARCI FOOTE 4202             22  26  1   107       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
 LONG BIGGAR 4228             19  15  0    99       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
-BAXTER 3970                  13   9  0    99       ERRATA (357)
-RON BURGUNDY 3974             9   4  0    99       ERRATA (357)
 VIOLENT ORANGE 1893          13   7  2    91       AZURE CLOUDS (183)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHELLEY ANN 4234              9  11  1    81       FANDILS (75)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CORBIN ROSS 4250              9   8  0    65       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
 WHAT WATER? 3917              8   3  0    64       BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)
 BLACK BILE 1868              16   7  0    63       AZURE CLOUDS (183)
-CLARA ROSE 4256               6   1  1    57       FANDILS (75)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JOUBERT KLEE 4249            11   6  0    39       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
 NO NAME 2933                  8   2  0    34       AZURE CLOUDS (183)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARLENE ROSS 4302              6   3  0    33       BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
 IRVIN 4257                    4   7  0    31       FANDILS (75)
 ANTI-LEAP YEAR 4255           3   2  0    30       THE 27 CLUB (374)
 KURT COBAIN 4253              2   3  0    27       THE 27 CLUB (374)
 UNCLE JUNIOR 4300             2   6  0    26       FANDILS (75)
-AEON 4248                     2   0  0    25       EXOTIC BLADES (373)
-DEW 4216                      2   4  0    25       ERRATA (357)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STORM 4306                    5   4  0    23       SUPERHEROS (379)
 JIM 4315                      4   0  0    23       THE 27 CLUB (374)
-SNUFFY 4263                   3   7  0    23       FANDILS (75)
 JIMI HENDRIX 4251             2   3  0    17       THE 27 CLUB (374)
 NOVA 4308                     2   1  0    16       SUPERHEROS (379)
-ZANTAK 4322                   1   0  0    16       24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MAY 4317                      1   1  0    15       24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)
-ETERNITY 4244                 1   0  0    13       EXOTIC BLADES (373)
-SPIDERMAN 4303                1   0  0    12       SUPERHEROS (379)
-SLAYER 4247                   1   1  1     9       EXOTIC BLADES (373)
-RASTUS 4318                   1   1  0     9       24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)
-BLUE NOTE 4301                1   3  0     6       AZURE CLOUDS (183)
-FUTTERBINGER 4319             1   1  0     4       24 HOURS OF DOOM (298)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
MORRISON 4316           0  1 0 THE 27 CLUB 374      SLAYER 4247           631  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

The Cook Messed Up -- Well, you didn't mess up in our fight.  You plastered me with
sloppy sushi and sticky sugary stuff, and took advantage of me.  Meany! -- Shelley

The Cook Messed Up and Assur -- Congrats again on the DM Title in The Red Sands. --
Fandil The Wise

No Name -- I couldn't hit you hard and enough because you had no name.  Unfair! --
Uncle Junior

Slugbait -- Aha!  Moving up to mediocrity!  Almost there!  Well done. -- A smiling
Fandil The Wise

Ophers hurt!  0-3 is demoralizing! -- An old, depressed, Fandil The Wise

What Water? -- I just want to say that I hate you and wish to treat you like my
litter box! -- Irvin

Really loving the personals, Everyone.  Kudos. -- WOF

     Indeed.  It's an art.

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  The Red Sands await. -- Fandil The Wise

Irvin -- I'm a much better waitress than my teammate.  Maybe not a better fighter,
but definitely a better waitress.  Luckily I'm a good enough fighter to get past you!
-- What Water?

Fandil -- 2-3.  You must be slipping.  Too much of that sleepy pain medicine for your
back?  I'll take it since it's the only way I'll get ahead. -- your pal sluggy

Marci -- Sigh.  I thought I had you but not mean old you.  Got a little red blood
over my nice new Orange armor.  Now slugbait is going to have to clean up after me
again. -- Violent Orange

Uncle Junior -- Looks like you can say Uncle after all. -- No Name

Longer -- My guess is that if we had gone a bit longer I'd have learned big skills.
- my Bile is up and Black

Uncle Junior -- Of course we're respectful.  You're so old and decrepit and all. --
Arlene Ross

Vi Orange -- More like sherbet than a highway worker's safety vest.  Rather tasty,
sherbet.... -- Marci Foote

What Water? -- Ah... okay.  Thanks. -- Joubert Klee

Violent Orange -- Or how about what Jorja calls a Marmalade Cat (don't ask me why!)?
Vanilla ice cream floated in orange juice, chunky orange juice for choice. -- Marci
P.S.  Jorja says, "It's like a Purple Cow but better."  I gather from her further
comments that a Purple Cow involves floating the ice cream in grape juice.  Weird
stuff here.

Black Bile -- Mashed potatoes. -- Long Biggar
P.S.  That's just what I happened to think of.  I know it doesn't make sense.
P.P.S.  Jorja says on no account should you allow the Infirmarians to "bleed you to
balance the humors."  Doesn't sound humorous to me!

Happy Peasant?  Say better, Idiot Peasant. -- Corbin Ross

Dew -- Foggy, foggy dew?  Mountain dew?  Department of Education and Welfare?  Idle
minds are vaguely curious. -- Joubert Klee

Jimi Hendrix -- It wasn't luck, it was the incredible rush that came from realizing
that if I won, we would have a five-oh turn.  And we DO.  That's a rush, and it
doesn't happen often for us. -- Arlene Ross

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

VIOLENT ORANGE devastated CORBIN ROSS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SHELLEY ANN was vanquished by MARCI FOOTE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
BLACK BILE was vanquished by LONG BIGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
THE COOK MESSED UP overpowered NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute mismatched Title match.
JOUBERT KLEE was devastated by WHAT WATER? in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
NO NAME unbelievably bested UNCLE JUNIOR in a crowd pleasing 7 minute bloody match.
IRVIN was overpowered by ARLENE ROSS in a action packed 4 minute uneven melee.
JIMI HENDRIX lost to NOVA in a action packed 4 minute gruesome fight.
STORM outlasted TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a tiresome 7 minute fight.
KURT COBAIN handily defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ANTI-LEAP YEAR demolished TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
JIM unbelievably bested FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a tiresome 3 minute novice's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         AIMED BLOW        23 -  13 -  0      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   5 -  0      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         LUNGING ATTACK    14 -  10 -  1      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       17 -  13 -  0      57  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   8 -  0      53  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK   26 -  28 -  0      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         BASHING ATTACK     8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 633 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         4  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       THE COOK MESSED UP 3919     9   2  0  111 BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)
STRIKING ATTACK  LONG BIGGAR 4228           19  15  0   99 BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (74)
PARRY-STRIKE     VIOLENT ORANGE 1893        13   7  2   91 AZURE CLOUDS (183)
BASHING ATTACK   WHAT WATER? 3917            8   3  0   64 BASH BROS. WAITRESS (351)
WALL OF STEEL    BLACK BILE 1868            16   7  0   63 AZURE CLOUDS (183)
TOTAL PARRY      NO NAME 2933                8   2  0   34 AZURE CLOUDS (183)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MARCI FOOTE 4202.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was UNCLE JUNIOR 4300.  The ten other most popular fighters were JIMI HENDRIX 

The least popular fighter this week was JIM 4315.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were STORM 4306, IRVIN 4257, NO NAME 2933, JOUBERT KLEE 4249, BLACK BILE 
1868, CORBIN ROSS 4250, SHELLEY ANN 4234, ANTI-LEAP YEAR 4255, KURT COBAIN 4253, and