Date   : 06/17/2003    Duedate: 07/14/2003


DM-47    TURN-199

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-4714) [15-1-1,127]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JUMBO MUMBO                    JIAN
SPOONERTIKS (523)              FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
(47-4714) [15-1-1,127]         (47-4428) [2-1-0,14]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MARY ANN                       THREEKARD
SCREEN DREAMS (488)            CARNIVAL (411)
(47-4378) [12-16-0,95]         (47-4600) [13-6-1,107]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)    48
2. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)        33      SPOONERTIKS (523)
3. COFFEE RULES! (505)         33      Unchartered Team
4. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            32
5. SLITHER (554)               26      FALLEN SHADOWS (495)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 SPOONERTIKS (523)         52  25  2 67.5   1/ 1 SPOONERTIKS (523)        12  3 1
 2- 2*REALLY BIG WORDS (439)     4   2  1 66.7   2/ 6 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         10  5 0
 3- 4 KANSANS (527)            680 385 15 63.8   3/ 8 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      9  5 0
 4/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   192 110 16 63.6   4/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    9  6 0
 5- 6 LAND OF OZ (217)         358 250 11 58.9   5/10 COFFEE RULES! (505)       9  6 0
 6/ 7 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     111  81  3 57.8   6/ 3 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       8  6 0
 7/ 9 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         526 412 29 56.1   7- 4 THE FEDERATION (539)      7  2 0
 8-10 ARGOSSEANS (468)          97  77  5 55.7   8/ 5 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  7  8 1
 9/11 COFFEE RULES! (505)       63  52  2 54.8   9/ 7 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      6  9 1
10/12 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     246 229 25 51.8  10/ 9 CARNIVAL (411)            5 10 0
11-13 ROUBAIX PELETON (496)     59  55  7 51.8  11/12 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    4 10 0
12-14 THE FEDERATION (539)      29  29  1 50.0  12/14*FALLEN SHADOWS (495)      2  2 0
13/15 CARNIVAL (411)           121 124  7 49.4  13/ 0 MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)      2  2 0
14/16 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  20  21  1 48.8  14/ 0*SLITHER (554)             2  3 0
15/ 0 MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)      57  65  2 46.7  15-15*DREWS CREW (546)          2  3 0
16/ 8*FALLEN SHADOWS (495)       4   5  0 44.4  16-13 ARGOSSEANS (468)          2  8 0
17/17 WARHAMMERS (75)          214 275 12 43.8  17-18 LAND OF OZ (217)          1  0 0
18/18 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    72  99  2 42.1  18-19*REALLY BIG WORDS (439)    1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       48  70  3 40.7  19-20 KANSANS (527)             1  0 0
20/ 0*SLITHER (554)              2   3  0 40.0  20-17 ROUBAIX PELETON (496)     1  3 0
21-19*DREWS CREW (546)           2   3  0 40.0  21-21*DARK MATTER (550)         1  4 0
22-21*DARK MATTER (550)          1   4  0 20.0  22/16 WARHAMMERS (75)           1  6 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                    North Fork's Swampvivor Competition:  Turn 11

     Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaw!  Welcome to da Swamp.
     Turn 11, and this time, Fizban's Screen Dreams are extremely grateful that one
of the Swampvivor competitors decided to sit out the turn.  Again, for two straight
turns, we have to say adios to one of the early Swampvivor contenders, as this time,
Roubaix Peleton find themselves out of energy after flat section and are unable to
handle the climb in the mountains.  Leaves us with nine contenders remaining for the
Swampvivor title.

Team updates:

CARNIVAL - 5 points for spotlight.  Total score for turn 11 - (432 points)
Bear Keeper - 0 points
Ring D'Bell - 52 Points for win, 125 points for DM, 63 points for chartered
     recognition leader, 26 points for Popularity Leader, 24 points for most
     challenged, 17 points for lungemaster, 10 tourney points
Threekard - 52 points for win, 12 points for challenge, 180 tourney points
Franc N'Steen - 144 point penalty for least popular, 10 tourney points
Perfect Parri - 0 points

COFFEE RULES - 24 points for TOM#5, 48 points for most avoided, 5 points for personal
     ads.  Total score for turn 11 - (418 points)
Espresso - 50 points for win, 10 tourney points
101 Proof! - 38 points for #3 popular, 10 tourney points
Sugar Cube - 20 tourney points
Latte - 25 points for win, 10 tourney points
100% Columbian - 48 points for most popular, 130 tourney points

DRAKE'S COMICS - 5 points for personal ads, 20 tourney points - Total score for turn
     11, (290 points)
Incredible Sulk - 0 points
The Mighty Sore - 88 points for win, 92 points for challenge, 11 points for
Vallet - 22 points for challenge
1 turn grace for replacement warrior

MYSTIC ORC FEAST - 44 points for TOM#2, 5 points for personal Ads, 200 point bonus
     for best personal ad.  (Actually, best two, but I couldn't decided between the
     lard filled bacon sprinkles and the dumbest challenge in 292 fights)  Total
     score for turn 11 - (90 points)
Insolent Idiot - 378 point penalty for getting killed in the Dark Arena
Deep Fried Lard - 26 points for win, 12 points for challenge, 7 point penalty #11
     Unpop, 50 tourney points.
Ur Brain on Egg - 26 points for win, 19 points for challenge, 20 tourney points
One Hit Wonder - 52 points for win, 18 points for challenge, 9 points for scummaster.
     24 points for #6 popular, 60 tourney points
Cup Of Cat - 26 points for win, 13 points for challenge, 71 points for up & coming
     champion, 10 tourney points

ROUBAIX PELETON - missed turn, 1000 point penalty, eliminated from Swampvivor, Total
     score for turn 11 - ( -1230 points)
Johan Museeuw - 230 penalty points for getting killed in tourney.

ROYAL FLUSH - 25 points for long spot.  5 points for Pads, 250 tourney points, Total
     Score for turn 11 -  (680 points)
King Crab - 88 points for win, 142 points for challenge, 32 points for up & coming
     challenger init, 10 points for tourney
Ten O'Chtitlan - 30 points for tourney
Black Jack Shelack - 52 points for win
Ace Bailey - 15 points for challenge
Queen of Denial - 30 points for tourney

SCREEN DREAMS - 5 points for Personal Ads, 25 points for TOM#4, 180 point penalty for
     Ellie Mae at the Tourney.  Total score for turn 11 - ( -171 points)
Mary Ann - 31 points for challenge, 100 penalty points at tourney
Seka - 27 points for challenge, 10 points for strikemaster
Norma Jean - 26 points for win, 115 point penalty for #3 unpopular
Lara Croft - 26 points for win, 17 points for plungemaster, 5 points for #10 pop, 40
     tourney points
CJ - 12 points for challenge

SPOONERTIKS - 68 points for top chartered team, 26 points for current top team, 5
     points for personal ads, 96 points for TOM - Total score for turn 11 (706
Toonerspik - 25 points for win, 97 points for slashmaster
Jumbo Mumbo - 50 points for win, 10 points for #10 popular, 60 tourney points
Zeel Bebub - 25 points for win, 15 points for bashmaster
Tent in Quarantino - 52 points for win, 21 points for challenge, 6 points for
     aimmaster, 34 points for #4 popular
Kain Pillar - 26 points for win, 18 points for challenge, 42 points for up & coming
     adept, 30 tourney points

THE BEAR'S PAW - 230 points for revenged BF, 25 points for long spotlight, 26 point
     penalty for biggest avoider.  Total score for turn 11 - (475 points)
Grinnon Bearit - 52 points for win, 20 tourney points
Can't Bearit - 0 points
Honey Bear - 0 points
Bear Acuda - 34 points for challenge, 19 points for #7 popular, 40 tourney points.
Bearfoot - 52 points for win, 29 points for #5 popular

THE FEDERATION - 26 points for TOM#3, 220 point penalty for Chakotay's tourney.
     Total score for turn 11 - (46 points)
Belanna Torres - 18 points for challenge
Kira Nerys - 52 points for win, 43 points for #2 popular
Dabo Girl - 26 points for win
Jadzia-Dax - 50 points for win, 26 points for Ripmaster
Seven of Nine - 25 points for win

SWAMPVIVOR TURN 11 RESULTS (200 point bonuses included in scores)
   TEAM                   Score Bonus
1. SPOONERTIKS (523)      706
2. ROYAL FLUSH (48)       680
3. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)   675 "200"
4. CARNIVAL (411)         432
5. COFFEE RULES! (505)    418
6. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 300 "200"
7. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)   290
8. THE FEDERATION (539)    46
9. SCREEN DREAMS (488)   -171

SWAMP JEOPARDY STANDINGS AFTER TURN 11 (bonus points not included)
TEAM                       Score Bonus  Previous Rankings
1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 11403478 "200"  1
2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   9110 "200"  2
3. ROYAL FLUSH (48)         5878        3
4. SPOONERTIKS (523)        5819        4
5. COFFEE RULES! (505)      5510 "400"  5
6. SCREEN DREAMS (488)      3231 "600"  6
7. ARGOSSEANS (468)         3048        7
8. CARNIVAL (411)           3008 "1000" 9
9. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     2678 "200" 10
10. THE FEDERATION (539)    1684       11
11. ROUBAIX PELETON (496)   1557        8
12. THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)  -564 "400" 12

     Warhammers are dropped for falling below -3000 points.  Although not much
movement in the standings, still a lot of close races in 3rd to 5th, and 7th to 9th.
Nine teams remaining in swampvivor, it and still Feb 2004 looks to be the approximate
tournament wrap-up.

MC of the Swampvivor and Swamp Jeopardy Competitions
Mngr of Royal Flush

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Ok already.  Enough is enough.  I just can't take it anymore.  Carny and his
side show freaks spew their idiotic dialogue to gain 200 bonus points only because no
one else writes.  Well I'm putting my foot down...(stomp).  No more will Pitchman's
droning monotone garner an easy 200 points.  We will have Fortune Teller revealed as
the fraud she is, and this Starry Gaze.  Know why her gaze is so starry?  She's been
Smoking Kats catnip stash.  From now on I will counter Carny's insane ramblings with
my own pointless drivel.  Yes!  Now you all will have twice the opportunity to be
driven out of your gourd by idiotic spotlights.  Think of the opportunities here.
First you read Carny's pitch then I, Fizban the Feebleminded, will finish you off
with my own senseless gibberish.  Why...why I'm already half crazy myself just
thinking about it.  Then if that isn't enough.  If there is anything left of your
sanity after all of that maybe Kat will share some of his litter box ponderings and
crush what remains of your puny psyche.  Bwah, Ha, Ha.
     Oh yeah, Carny could you ask Fortune Teller to do another reading on me?  That
last one was way cool.

     This spotlight has been brought to you by Fizban The Fanatic

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                   The Federation

     THE INN AT NORTH FORK was the most beggarly, vile place that ever pigs were
stied in.  The drab interior was hazed with smoke and infested with vermin and silent
swamp dwellers.  I was not only discontent with my lodging, but with myself, for my
mismanagement of the most stable team in my hands.  I thought I could be hardly worse
off, yet, very wrongly as I was soon to see.
     Since my arrival to the swamp town, my most gifted warrior and close friend has
been killed in the latest tourney.  Dead before I could make it onto the sands.  I
drowned my sorrow in honey mead, one after the next in his memory.
     With a wave of my arm.  I catch the server's attention.  "Jorja, dear, another
here," says I.  I'd been there for nearly two hours at this time, in the company of
one whom calls himself "Horus!"  A disreputable heap of a man, said to be a criminal,
long in tooth and surrounded in a cloud of cheap, liquored odor.
     "Come, sir!" bellowed I, beyond patience with him.  "I would have ye to ken that
I am a gentleman.  I bare a king's name; and I am nae rider to kick my chanks at your
hall door.  Either give me an answer in civility and that out of hand; or by the top
of Glencoe I will ram three feet of iron through your vitals."
     "EH, man!" cried the man, scrambling to his feet.  "Give me a meanit.  What's
like wrong with ye?  I'm just a plain man and nae dancing master; and I'm trying to
be as ceevil as it is morally possible.  As to this wild talk, it's fair
     "'Vitals,' say you!  And where would I be with my broadsword eh?"
     He snarled, "That rust and your auld hands are but as the snail to the swallow
against the bright steel in the hands of Geoffrey."
     I spat at him.  "Before your jottering hand could find the goerd the hilt would
dirl on your breastbane."
     "Eh.  Man...whaes denying it?"
     Said he, "Fit it as ye please, hae't your own way.  I'll do naething to cross
ye, just tell me waht like ye'll be wanting and ye'll see that we an agree fine."
     "Troth, sir."
     Said I, "I ask nothing but plain dealings.  In two words:  do ye want the man
killed or kept?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                            Swampvivor Reading, Carnival

     Bells and Candles!  Bells and Candles!  Step right along!  Do not dilly and do
not dally.  Anyone who can tell me what "Dilly" means will receive a free, yes I said
free, or my name is not the Umbrella Man, indeed I said free a rolled up in genuwine
sea weed.  A sample of Noxious Ingredients.  Yes the very same Noxious Ingredients
that I am selling right now, well not right now but when I leave your fair city, I
will be selling them on the River Styx.  Remember you can't win without your Noxious
Ingredients.  In addition, I am proud to introduce, all the way from the Golden Tower
of Andoria, the mist bound city of Lyratilan, where The Haunted Calloipe sounds 
forth, the one, the only one, herself--give her a hand--she's here!  For you!  The
amazing Fortune Teller!
     Thank you Umbrella Man!  Thank you!  A pleasure to see you again.  Yes everyone
get your bells and candles but don't forget the elf cakes-and-ale cookies.  Follow
the instructions and don't forget to scatter some crumbs for the little people as an
offering.  You will note the white candle burning here and how it's flame does not
touch or burn me.  Need I say more?  Now--the Swampvivor proceeds as I instructed you
to heed--now do not follow the error of the "TP" who was foolish.  Do you understand?
Now someone announced a rumor of "Land of Oz."  Nonsense!  But if worried I have a
spell prepared which will deal with the matter.  Now you with PR warriors--seek the
blue nosed bear carrying a pea pod in its mouth. If it offers you a sliver flute by
all means take it.  I've been asked about the WS--very well and very simple--find a
"Corn Dolly" or as many outside of Andoria call it, a "poppet."  Place it at night
under the sand of the arena.  I wish to tell you if you encounter a ST wearing the
color green on a Tuesday, avoid them, as they are inclined to be superstitious.  If
you see a trio of butterflies flying about each other advise you avoid the use of a
hatchet.  Now in all honesty, I cannot prove this, but since egg shells protect
chicks there may be wisdom in hanging egg shells around your helm.  Consider it a
word to the wise.
     I strongly see--I strongly see the letter "B".  Does anyone understand?  The
letter "B."
     I must leave, I thank you.

                    Fortune Teller, Carnival

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #61 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Ibizond, Korga, and in between:

     Aghtamar and Zilla had argued with Fist of Kjarran, but not for long.  After
all, someone to play bait WAS needed, and he WAS a Lord Protector and therefore had
guaranteed resurrection....  The Murskan, Cadal, suggested that they all get a good
night's sleep here in Ibizond, look over the area where they wanted to set their trap
tomorrow by daylight, and then run the bait tomorrow night.  This seemed such a
sensible suggestion that Aghtamar hesitated to accept it; there was sure to be an
unpleasant catch in it somewhere.  But Zilla was for it, and even Fist, not one to
wallow in luxuries, agreed, so she shrugged and nodded.
     They stayed at the inn where they'd eaten, the Red Cow, and it seemed to
Aghtamar that the night was endless.  She dozed and woke and dozed and woke and it
was still dark.  Maybe the sun had forgotten to rise.  Maybe she was caught in some
magical time loop.  Maybe she was worrying too much.  Maybe she had insomnia.  She
rolled over and thumped her pillow and tried to go to sleep again.  Really asleep
this time.  But there were so many things that could go wrong....
     By the time morning came--reluctantly, with lots of clouds and a cold, damp
wind--Aghtamar was a rag.  Squinting at the imperfect mirror in the small bedroom,
she amended that to a depressed, grumpy rag.  Or hag.  The kind of rag or hag that no
right-thinking gladiator would want as a companion on an adventure.  She was going to
be as second-rate at adventuring as she had been in the arena.  She was just working
up a really good depression when Zilla pounded on the door.
     "Come on," Zilla urged, bouncing on her toes once the door was opened.  "The
guys are waiting."
     "Maybe it would be better if I didn't--"
     "They're WAITING for us, Aghtamar.  Come ON."  Zilla grabbed her arm and dragged
her out into the inn's tiny hallway.  "I kind of LIKE having a couple of men waiting
for us," she confided.  "Even though Cadal is OLD, he must be forty or even FIFTY,
he's a very HOT-looking old man...."
     At that, Aghtamar laughed.  "I didn't know you had a thing for older men,
     "Well, he's a Lord Protector, so he won't get any older than he IS, after all,
and I bet he knows lots of INTERESTING things."  She glanced sideways at her friend.
"I bet he knows some men he could introduce to you."
     "Uh...Zilla, I'm not really looking for--"
     "You should be.  It's great exercise!"
     "Jack told me to watch out for you," Zilla said.  "He likes you.  I like you.
Lots of people like you.  He was, we were all worried you might get depressed again.
You take things too seriously, Aghty."
     "What kind of nickname would YOU suggest I make out of Aghtamar?  Why you ever
let your folks--or Jack if it was him--saddle you with such a mouthful of a name...."
Zilla squinted at her thoughtfully.  "Maybe I'll call you 'Sunshine'.  Would that be
     By this time, they had arrived at the ground floor, where Fist of Kjarran and
Cadal were, indeed, waiting.  "I've got horses for us all," Cadal said the moment
they appeared, "and lunches packed.  Let's go, we're burning daylight here."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Basically, the part of the Traders' Road that ran between Ibizond and Korga was
just like the parts between Korgan and Malcorn and between Ibizond and Murska.
Unpaved, rutted, hilly, muddy in the low spots, with trees crowding close on both
sides most of the way.  Many of the steepest hills had been cut down to make the
grade easier, with the road passing through dirt-walled notches--great places for an
ambush, as Fist of Kjarran observed cheerfully.
     Cadal nodded, but he looked gloomy.  "Great places," he agreed, "but our killer
doesn't use 'em, mostly.  Out of the dozen we think are victims of the same killer,
only two were attacked at a road cut like this."  He looked up at the steep, muddy
banks with their shaggy topping of brush and sighed.  "One in six isn't significant.
That would be too easy.  Our killer doesn't seem to need ambuscades."
     "But we do," Zilla said.  "So, which ones do you favor, and how do you expect us
to get the killer to attack Fist where we're watching?"
     "There is no way," Aghtamar muttered.
     "Sure there is.  Fist sets out in a group--say four people--from Ibizond about
sunset.  As he approaches the spot we've picked as best for our purposes, the other
three turn back, leaving him to enter the target zone alone.  So far, the killer has
never attacked a group as big as four, and besides, we can probably get enough out-
of-work gladiators from Murska, gods know there are plenty of them, to do the escort.
But my figuring is that he won't be attacked till he's alone.  And if he gets beyond
the optimum area without an attack, he turns and comes back, and if he gets all the
way back through it without being attacked, we join him and call it a night and go
back to Ibizond."
     "I wouldn't like to go back to the inn and leave a job undone," Fist of Kjarran
     "But doing the job needs the cooperation of our killer, so we're not totally in
control of that," Zilla pointed out.  "This sounds like a decent bet.  Let's do it."

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #62 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Zukal and vicinity:

     It was harder to get Veleks into the boat than Ghenis had expected.  Dead, it
might have been awkward, but alive...the little thief turned suddenly hysterical,
shrieking and weeping, trashing wildly, and begging not to be given to "the burning
eyes and flashing teeth."  Ghenis finally had to knock Veleks out so that he and
Harlund drag him into the rowboat.
     "He's nuts," Harlund growled, leaning into his oars as he drove the boat back
toward the shore.  "Burning eyes and flashing teeth.  Sounds like some kind of kid's
nightmare.  He do some kind of drugs?"
     "Veleks?  No.  He's got a few bad habits, but not drugs.  He must have seen
something real...but maybe not really what he thinks he saw."
     "He couldn't've seen something like that, not on the beach he couldn't.  There
aren't any monsters in the woods around here."  Harlund paused and looked around
uneasily, looked down into the water, which was filling with the shadows of sunset
faster than the sky was.  "Might be different if he'd been in a boat to start with,"
the beach walker muttered.  "He might've seen something over the water...."
     "Veleks can't swim and had no boat.  He was not on the water," Ghenis said
firmly.  "Besides, I found what are probably his tracks.  He was on the shore road
and left it to run toward the beach, and I do mean run--flat out.  Something
terrified him.  Veleks is no hero, but he wouldn't run without a reason."
     Harlund opened his mouth to argue further, then looked at Ghenis and shut it
again.  Smart move.
     "Just get us to shore, man.  Then I'll pay you, and you can go home.  It isn't
your problem."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Ghenis had the idea that it would have been harder, maybe impossible, to get rid
of Harlund at any time earlier in the day.  But it was sunset, and the beach walker
seemed to have a strong aversion to being out on the shore at night.  Which probably
meant that the gladiator would be wise to get himself and Veleks off the shore before
dark, too.  Besides, he didn't want to meet his henchman's "burning eyes and flashing
teeth" with Veleks on his hands either unconscious or hysterical.
     He draped the little thief over the saddle of his rented horse and glared at the
beast.  It probably wasn't a bad horse, as horses went, but neither was it
outstanding in any way--it seemed unlikely, for instance, that it would take to
carrying double.  Which meant he himself was going to have to walk.  He toyed again
with the idea of buying a horse, a really GOOD horse.  But, as at other times, he
also thought about how much it cost to keep a horse in the city, whether he was
riding it or not.  His resources weren't infinite.  And he didn't really leave the
city and NEED a horse that often, so it wouldn't be a savings, not really.
     By the time Ghenis had reached this point, a familiar one, in his thoughts, it
was twilight and he was back on the coast road, leading the horse.  He paused before
stepping out into the open.  By the evidence of the tracks, Veleks had been on the
coast road in the dark when he met his monster.  Maybe it would be better to get
under immediate cover instead of heading straight back to Zukal tonight.  He'd passed
an abandoned farmstead--courtesy of the invasion, most likely--on his way to the
beach to meet Harlund.  It wasn't any palace, but it would provide shelter and a
defensive position, and it was nearby, a mile, maybe a mile and a half away.  He set
off in that direction, crossing the road and plunging into the brush along an
overgrown track.
     The farmstead was as Ghenis remembered it, a stone house with half a roof, two
or three wooden sheds that had mostly collapsed, a cluster of unpruned fruit trees.
He led the horse right into what had been the main room of the house and dumped
Veleks onto the ground.  By the dark powers, the little thief had better have
something useful to report after all this trouble!  Veleks could sleep now, but by
morning he'd better be coherent.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Ghenis sat over the fire he'd made from scraps of lumber and watched the full
moon ride across the sky.  The night seemed long for the time of year, but that was
subjective, he knew.  It was about midnight now, with the moonlight turning the
landscape into silver and soot.  There had been owls hooting earlier, some other kind
of night birds, rustlings outside the farmhouse that had nothing to do with the wind,
but the night was silent now.  He touched the amulet he wore under his shirt,
wondering if he would see Veleks' monster tonight.  That would be...interesting.
     A howl?  There were wolves around the delta country, they'd come down out of the
hills after the invaders had devastated the area.  A chorus of howls, must be a pack.
His horse was moving restlessly.  It had a right to be uneasy, a pack of wolves was
no joke.  Ghenis wished briefly that he had a crossbow, but he didn't.  He drew his
sword and put more wood on the fire, checked to make sure that the remaining walls of
the old house would protect him from the sides and rear.
     Another howl, closer, almost a hound-like baying.  Other wolf voices answering.
Definitely a pack, hunting in the moonlight.  He touched his amulet again.  The dark
powers would not protect him if he stupidly put himself in the way of danger.  Which
he had not done tonight, he had prudently gotten off the road and taken a defensible
shelter.  With one hand on his amulet and the other on his sword, he waited.
     Shadows moved in ways that wind and trees could not account for.  They gathered
around the shell of the farmhouse; he glimpsed them through the empty doorway and the
gaps in the wall.  The shadows blinked at him with eyes that were not burning but
cold as the moon overhead.  Wolves.  Big wolves, given how far off the ground those
pale eyes were.  A lot of big wolves.  But they weren't trying to get at him.  More
kept arriving, causing an ongoing stir of shadows.  He didn't try to count them.
Didn't really want to know how many wolves there were out there.
     And then, suddenly, there was something else, with eyes of flame and a spear
tipped with icy moonlight.  Human in shape, more or less, and mounted on something
that might be a horse but probably wasn't.  It lifted a horn and blew, and the sound
was a wave of fear.
     Veleks' monster.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 467): TREMERE of DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 465): WILD BILL of THE LAWMEN (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 461): DIRT KNAP of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 459): KILLIN' STU of MINIONS OF MILO (Kleptov Grenufelbitz)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 229): SHAWINIGAN SMURF of CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 450): MR. YUCK of THE TAKEN (Stillgard, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 227): GRIFFIN of MYTH (Lightbringer, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 447): LIGHTNING of HARBINGERS (High Lord Bosk, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 445): SLUGWORTH of WILLY WONKA INC. (Distorted, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 438): FINN of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 401): SUNGOD DESIGNED ME of WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 204): BINGE N PURGE of EMETICS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 198): RING D'BELL of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 185): DR. NO-NOOKIE of MASTER BLASTERS (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 326): NESSUS of ACT OF MALICE (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 306): VLADIMIR TALTOS of BLACK PEARL (Dr. Guts, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 134): PUNCH DRUNK of WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)
                                (Rillion, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 467): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 465): ARENA FELINES II (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 461): UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 461): BLACKHEART'S AXE (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 459): SPECIAL ED (PTFT, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 458): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 229): IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 450): EQUESTORS (Spartacus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 227): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 447): THE STORMLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 445): PATH OF THE BLADE (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 438): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 401): KORGAN CRUSADE (Jack Wolfspider, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 204): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 198): SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 185): OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 326): REDHORSE (Mila, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 306): FAVORITE GUYS (Obscure Source, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 134): none
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 351): MEOW MIX, etc. (Ultraist, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 465): WILD BILL of THE LAWMEN (?, mgr.)
               (turn 464): TONY THE TIGER of ARENA FELINES II (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 460): BUBU of GEN KHAN (Technogeek, mgr.)
                           HU MI of GEN KHAN (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 459): SEAR ICECAP of LO' DOWN (Cayl Reed, mgr.)
                (turn 458): BONEY OLD BEHIND of KINDRED OF KAOS (PTFT, mgr.)
                            10-11-8-15-17-14-9ST of KINDRED OF KAOS (PTFT, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 457): NUTT BRITTLE of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 229): SHAWINIGAN SMURF of CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
                          BILLY LILLY of DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
              (turn 228): NIGHTSHADE of CRYPT KNIGHTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 227): GRIFFIN of MYTH (Lightbringer, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 445): DRY KEG of JOYS OF BOOZE (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 436): JELIAH BIGABO of PHILANTHROPISTS 3 (Aragorn, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 400): FLYING MARMOSET of KORGAN CRUSADE (Jack Wolfspider)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 197): INSOLENT IDIOT of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
                               ESPRESSO of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 185): DR. NO-NOOKIE of MASTER BLASTERS (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 133): KAMIKAZE of WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

MH:  This is your Morning Herald reporter reporting the events others dare not.
Let's look at Coffee Rules who went from 3rd to 10th but the Wholly Roman Empire
leaped to do up 8 places.  I for one eagerly wait to see if Ring D'Bell is given the
10,634 points for Swampvivor that everyone is demanding.  Speaking of The Duelmaster,
here he is now.  Congrats against Mary Ann.

RB:  Thank you Mary Ann has talent.  Everyone else is welcome to take a shot but I
prefer to fight Threekard Next.  I'd like to congratulate Humongous the Unchartered
Rec. Leader.  Good job.  Also want to welcome Drews Crew and Dark Matter to North
Fork.  I'm always willing to give one of your warriors a non-title practice round.
Just let me know when.  Gotta go.

MH -- Thank you Ring, thank you. 

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, NORTH FORK?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  If this keeps up, WARHAMMERS, you'll 
have to shine swords instead of use them.  A drop of 6 in the rankings?  DRAKE'S 
COMICS turned their 4-1-0 turn into a 3rd place rank in the listings this turn.  Any 
better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Gee, I'm impressed, a 4-1-0 is nice, 
but don't get cocky, COFFEE RULES!, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are 
proud.  Middle of the road, SLITHER, middle of the road; you'll get no good words 
from me, until you get better, or worse.  Break a leg.  Of course, we're all terribly 
impressed to see GALLIENUS win a fight and gain 26 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, 
INCREDIBLE SULK beat TOONERSPIK and TOONERSPIK lost 18 points.  You're breakin' my 
heart.  Looks like NORTH FORK has some guts at least, RING D'BELL the Duelmaster was 
this turn's most-challenged warrior.  JUMBO MUMBO challenged NORTH FORK's Duelmaster 
for a shot at the throne.  The Duelmaster's Dead!  Long live the Duelmaster!  Ha!  
JUMBO MUMBO has killed RING D'BELL in the Title bout, and this bout ain't over yet!  
Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys 
win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  MYSTIC ORC FEAST, I suppose you'll be glad to know you 
were this turn's most avoided team.  Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And 
it looks like SPOONERTIKS avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be 
losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  I guess I can give a little credit to ZEEL BEBUB of 
SPOONERTIKS for challenging up by 24 to GRINNON BEARIT.  ZEEL BEBUB won to get 110 
points of recognition.   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines 
through use.  Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     What does the NORTH FORK arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Just wait 'till next time I show 
up here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  I see the crowds are getting restless, I 
must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUMBO MUMBO 4714             15   1  1   127       SPOONERTIKS (523)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WICHITA FALLS 4763           16  14  0   122       KANSANS (527)
 ZEEL BEBUB 4713              11   5  1   110       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 THREEKARD 4600               13   6  1   107       CARNIVAL (411)
 GRINNON BEARIT 2955          19  14  2   101       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 THE MIGHTY SORE 4490         12  10  0   101       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 INCREDIBLE SULK 4511         15   7  0    97       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-STRAW FIRE 4350              10   5  0    97       LAND OF OZ (217)
 UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703          9   6  0    97       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 MARY ANN 4378                12  16  0    95       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816      13   2  0    92       SPOONERTIKS (523)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEAR KEEPER 3782             20  26  2    88       CARNIVAL (411)
 SUGAR CUBE 4617              12   8  0    88       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-BIBASH 4338                  11   5  1    88       THE BIB BOYS (481)
 101 PROOF!! 4495             14  10  0    81       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 BULFUR 5041                  18  11  0    80       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 TOONERSPIK 4715               7   8  0    79       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 HONEY BEAR 3032              16  12  0    76       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SEKA 4612                    10  10  0    76       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850       9   5  0    75       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ONE HIT WONDER 4680          12   5  0    72       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 JEM KATOREH 4499             17  18  1    70       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 CJ 4752                       7   8  2    70       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            15  20  0    69       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 CUP OF CAT 4926               7   4  0    67       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BIBER 4310                   11   5  0    66       THE BIB BOYS (481)
-ROLF ALDAG 4436              12  11  0    65       ROUBAIX PELETON (496)
-NICO MATTAN 4434             10  13  3    65       ROUBAIX PELETON (496)
-LENEXA 4759                   7   0  0    57       KANSANS (527)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TCHMIL 4435                  12  11  0    55       ROUBAIX PELETON (496)
 100% COLUMBIAN 4874           7   5  1    55       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          10   8  0    53       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 GALLIENUS 4956                4   3  1    53       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-BROOMSTICK 4474               6   7  0    52       LAND OF OZ (217)
 VESPASIAN 4932                5   5  0    52       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 FRANC N' STEEN 4649          12   5  0    51       CARNIVAL (411)
-DODGE 4760                   12   3  0    48       KANSANS (527)
-BIBLISH 4309                  6  10  0    48       THE BIB BOYS (481)
-KIRA NERYS 4941               5   3  1    48       THE FEDERATION (539)
 LICINIUS 4912                 4   3  0    47       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-FRANK HOJ 4861                7   5  0    46       ROUBAIX PELETON (496)
-BELANNA TORRES 4898           6   6  0    46       THE FEDERATION (539)
 LATTE 4667                   11   7  0    44       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 BEARFOOT 4875                 7   6  0    44       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896          5   7  0    44       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SUCULANT 3589                11  10  0    43       WARHAMMERS (75)
 VALLET 4963                   6   2  0    43       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 TEMPUS 4635                   7  12  1    40       WARHAMMERS (75)
-DALE DROMMON 4262             5   1  0    39       CON'S CREW (474)
 PROBUS 4910                   4   4  0    38       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 NEDDIE OGIL 4663              9  10  0    37       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-SNAKETONGUE SAM 4263          4   1  1    36       CON'S CREW (474)
 KING CRAB 4983                3   2  0    35       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-COURAGE 4552                  4   4  1    34       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975          6   0  0    33       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-RAINBOW 4553                  5   4  0    33       LAND OF OZ (217)
 SORN THE BALD 5037            8   8  0    32       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 KAIN PILLER 4969              2   4  0    32       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-PHAETON 4965                  4   3  0    31       ARGOSSEANS (468)
-VESPASIAN 4939                5   3  1    29       ARGOSSEANS (468)
 ACE BAILEY 4948               4   5  0    29       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 LARA CROFT 4980               3   2  0    29       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 AUGUSTUS 4909                 2   5  0    29       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-SHAWNEE MISSION 4758          3   2  1    28       KANSANS (527)
-GRACCHI 4966                  3   4  0    27       ARGOSSEANS (468)
-JADZIA-DAX 4900               6   6  0    26       THE FEDERATION (539)
-SEVEN OF NINE 4940            4   3  0    26       THE FEDERATION (539)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HUMUNGOUS 3973                2   0  1    23       REALLY BIG WORDS (439)
 CAN'T BEARIT 4994             1   2  1    23       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-AXE 4551                      5   3  0    22       LAND OF OZ (217)
 TEN O'CHTITLAN 4982           3   2  0    21       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-BIBLUNG 4420                  1   1  1    19       THE BIB BOYS (481)
 BEAR ACUDA 4995               1   2  0    18       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 BORN LOSER 5032               2   1  0    15       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
-SIR ROMANOWSKI 4265           2   4  0    14       CON'S CREW (474)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIAN 4428                     2   1  0    14       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 NORMA JEAN 5017               2   0  0    13       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 COTTONMOUTH 3 5050            1   0  0    13       SLITHER (554)
-AMPLE 3975                    1   0  0    13       REALLY BIG WORDS (439)
 PERFECT PARRI 4967            2   6  0    12       CARNIVAL (411)
-CICERO 4981                   1   3  0    12       ARGOSSEANS (468)
-THE PRESIDENT 4266            1   4  0    11       CON'S CREW (474)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            1   5  0     9       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-MASSIVE 3974                  1   0  0     7       REALLY BIG WORDS (439)
-SULLA 4977                    1   4  0     7       ARGOSSEANS (468)
-ZILIN SHI 4430                1   0  0     6       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 ADDER 5051                    1   0  0     6       SLITHER (554)
-DABO GIRL 5023                1   0  0     5       THE FEDERATION (539)
-DREW 4993                     1   0  0     5       DREWS CREW (546)
-GALENIUM 5015                 1   0  0     5       DARK MATTER (550)
 QUICKSILVER 5029              1   0  0     5       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 SHAN 4431                     1   2  0     5       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
-LEWIS 4989                    1   0  0     5       DREWS CREW (546)
 BOMBAY 5043                   1   0  0     3       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 LADY FIST 5031                0   2  0     2       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
-OSWALD 4991                   0   1  0     1       DREWS CREW (546)
-ANGEL HEART 5014              0   1  0     1       DARK MATTER (550)
-KATE 4992                     0   1  0     1       DREWS CREW (546)
-MIMI 4990                     0   1  0     1       DREWS CREW (546)
-JAMESINFREE 5011              0   1  0     1       DARK MATTER (550)
 LUCIFERETTE 5053              0   1  0     1       WARHAMMERS (75)
-HARPY 5013                    0   1  0     1       DARK MATTER (550)
-PROFUSE 3977                  0   1  0     1       REALLY BIG WORDS (439)
-SCOLLMORE 5012                0   1  0     1       DARK MATTER (550)
 ANACONDA 5048                 0   1  0     1       SLITHER (554)
 COBRA 3 5047                  0   1  0     1       SLITHER (554)
 FAT BACK FRAG 5052            0   1  0     1       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
RING D'BELL 4300      16 11 0 CARNIVAL 411          JUMBO MUMBO 4714      199         
OLGON PUY 4968         0  7 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  GALLIENUS 4956        198         
POISON ONE 5049        0  1 0 SLITHER 554           BLACK ORC 20          199 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Rolf -- Six years old eh...rumor has it the South Park kids just showed up in 31 and
were talking smack about you.

Suculant -- Yrrap said you were tasty but I see I should have ordered an appetizer.
-- Belanna

Gracchi -- Random revenged...I'll take it! -- 7 of 9

Crip -- Oh...okay. -- 31

North Fork -- Would really like to have some words of wisdom for our foes from last
turn, but the mailman has yet to deliver turn 198, so a reprint has been requested.
-- Crip, mgr. of Royal Flush

Fizban -- Count the number of teams that transferred out to DM 73. -- Crip

Mr. Coffee -- Address coming in diplo.  But although I'm catching up on DM play in
other arenas, I haven't caught up on correspondence yet.  But should be able to do so
in June. -- Crip

Mr. Coffee -- Nice cup of Espresso. -- Crip

The Mighty Sore -- A more appropriate would have been Da Mighty Sore, then it would
be much easier for the fans to chant to send you to the Dark Arena. -- Black Jack

     You're so very thoughtful! -- Ed.

100% Columbian -- Do you realize that between bloodfeuds and tourneys, Crip has
scummed you 6 times now?  And is 0-3 with low con warriors?  The strategy shouldn't
be much of a surprise for one of your stature. -- King Crab

Scollmore -- Welcome to North Fork.  Glad I could help you out on your first turn in
our swamp.  Feel free to challenge me any time. -- Normal Jean

Welcome to Drews Crew and Dark Matter.  Welcome back to Kansans, Really Big Words and
Fallen Shadows. -- Fizban the welcome wagon
P.S.  Who is that running the Land Of Oz stable?  Is that you Oz?

Ring D' Bell -- You, sir, are out of my class and at this rate of learning will
always be so.  I think I'll stick to castaways. -- Mary Ann

Grinnon Bearit -- Hey!  I was supposed to be doing the skill raping, not you.  Wipe
that stupid grin off of your face too. -- Seka

Black Jack -- Hmm.  I thought I could win that one.  That's what pretty silicone
injected Bimbos like me get for thinking. -- CJ

Sulla -- You should probably rethink this gladiator stuff three death statements?  At
that rate you won't live very long. -- Lara

All -- Wow!  Who would have guessed that, Fizban the Feebleminded would be in the
Final 9. -- Fizban

Crip -- Great job with the Swampvivor although your scoring system boggles the mind.
-- Fizban

Spawn -- Kudos to your dominance over all of us.  We're not worthy.  We're not
worthy. -- Fizban

     It's always good to realize these things on your own.... *grin* -- Ed.

Mr. Coffee -- Congrats on Espresso, my brother.  You da man.  You were the first out
of our group to graduate an aimer but I'll be the first to graduate a Piker. --

All -- Fallen Shadows has arisen from its, sleep beware its wrath. -- Fallen Shadows

     Yeah, I'd be pretty wrathy if I fell down hard enough to be knocked unconscious.
     -- Ed.

Mr Coffee -- Glad to see you again, well for me I've all way seen you.  But what
hides in the shadows must come to the light. -- Fallen Shadows

Horus One Eye -- It's me, mind if I borrow a bimbo? -- Fallen Shadow

Mr. Coffee -- Contact me in higher realm.  My new number is 1020023.

Kate -- I won without swinging my weapon.  I guess they don't build warriors like
they used to. -- Jain of Fallen Shadows

Harry -- Death was close but I am a merciful man.  Remember to bring a first aid kit
next time. -- Shan of Fallen Shadows

     The following personals from Mr. Coffee were misfiled in Sunset.  I don't
     *think* they're late, but you never know. -- Ed.

Crip -- Score 632 and get fifth for the turn in the competition?!  Now "that" is a
competition. -- Mr Coffee

Slugbait -- Nice score! -- Mr Coffee

Oz -- Is that really you? -- Mr. Coffee

Fallen Shadows -- Welcome back. -- Mr Coffee
P.S.  You too, Really Big Words.

Drew's Crew/Dark Matter -- Welcome to the swamp. -- Mr Coffee

Pop Stars -- Welcome to North Fork. -- Mr. Coffee
P.S.  Do you like Coffee?  I like soda!

Argosseans -- Farewell, but there can be only one. -- Mr Coffee

Roebaix Peleton -- You went out real bad.  A missed turn?  Or you know you couldn't
score? -- Mr. Coffee

Weepypitch -- You're obscure as ever. -- The Calico of confusion,  Kat

Seka -- Grinnon expected oh-so-much more. -- Kat

Mighty Sore -- We'll have that weapon removed, cleaned, and back to you in no time.
-- Kat

Neddie -- Can't blame a bear for tryin'. -- Kat

Honey Bear -- There you were..."stuck in the middle with me!  Fans to the left of
you, arenamaster to the right...."  Well, I certainly enjoyed our dance...and you
seem to enjoy pain!! -- T.I.Q.

Sugar Cube -- Great effort.  You were unlucky.  Shame about the learns. -- Jumbo M.

Licinius -- Four skills and a win.  *smile*  Thank you.  Fancy a best of three?? --
Kain Piller

Crip -- Would failing a Deftness raise 3 turns in a row really have made that much
difference? -- Drake

Temp Ed. -- Okay, so what is that in *your* pocket? -- Drake

     Heh, now you're back to me again and I'll I've got in MY pocket is a 1SEK coin.
     -- Ed.

Can't Bearit -- Oh come on!  Surely you can learn more than that, with this kind of a
mismatch! -- The Mighty Sore

Threecard -- Hey!  I saw you slip that card up your sleeve!  No fair. -- Incredible

Belanna Torres -- You're not from around here, are you? -- Captain Marble

Bearfoot -- Well, you're no fun at all.  Won't even let me relax and take a nap. --

All -- I suppose a few of you are wondering where the Ten Turn Review is.  Well, I
thought about it, and it seems rather silly to do a Ten Turn Report, when by waiting
3 more turns, I can make an Annual Review.  So, I'm changing the format and you can
expect to see the North Fork Annual Review some time in August. -- Drake

Incredible Sulk -- Will give you another try soon but first I'm taking a title fight
against Ring D'Bell. -- Threekard

Mary Anne -- Your advances were not too subtle. -- Ring D' Bell

Insolent Idiot and Espresso -- Congrats on the "Call of the Isle." -- Carny

Espresso -- We are not done yet.  I got in the first hit. -- Bear Keeper

Lenexa -- My win on points. -- Franc N' Steen

Jadzia-Dax -- Your win against me got your team to 50%.  A small gift to me is in
order. -- Perfect Parr

Crip -- Ya gotta be thinking, "Did he see me coming with that warrior?"  Nice time to
find the favorites, eh? -- 31 of the Fed

Drake -- How is it that one fight she'll go six min with a maul and then get tired in
one min with a warhammer?  Think it's possible she's sneaking out the night before.
-- Trollop

Mimi -- I did what Drew should have done years ago.  Next time bring your giant
compact as a shield. -- Dabo Girl

Ur Brain on Egg -- That is truly disgusting.  Anyone with any sense of nutrition
knows that brains are MUCH too greasy to eat with eggs.  They should be served on
whole-wheat toast. -- Jem Katoreh

Cup of Cat -- Will it help if I add cream? -- Folmor Grigg

Bear Acuda -- Woo-hoo!  The teeth that bite!  I had to move fast on that one. --
Neddie Ogil
P.S.  You want to come by the guildhouse and see our Orc?  Just a visitor, but he's a
remarkable sight.  Or site.

Seven of Nine -- Good thing you weren't going for eight.  Ouch! -- Rondol Quiglo

Gallienus -- Well, drat, that sure made MY day. -- Ghost of Olgon Puy

Ten O'Chitlins -- You were wrong. -- Ghost of Olgon Puy

Horus the Less Loquacious -- I guess I'll just have to tough it out, won't I? --
Jorja the almost too late with the personals for today's newsletter but I hope Ed.
takes mercy on me

     Hey, I guess I am feeling merciful today! -- Ed.

27 May 2003
A note to everyone regarding manager names and manager lists -- If you're running a
team incognito, all you have to do is let me know and I won't put your name on any
manager lists.  It has seemed though, that more people want their names listed, even
if they do not announce themselves, than the other way around.  Also, I do maintain

the list more or less by hand and errors do creep in.  You have but to say I've made
an error and no one will be the wiser (except thee and me, of course). -- The Saint,
keeper of lists

30 May 2003
Duelmasters Friends and Friendly Foes -- I am returning to the United States for the
summer.  Please direct any Snailmail to:
     Devon Hagy
     Open Skies Ministries
     Att: Hammer
     1515 E 7th St
     Okmulgee, OK 74447
Bro De is the founder and president of Open Skies Ministries [Prison Ministry] and a
newcomer to the world of Duelmasters. We minister together when I am in the area.
See you on the sands!
-- Daryl P Holloman aka Hammer
Flower Hammerz DM 28
Casino Hammerz DM 33
Fish Hammerz DM 54

3 June 2003
     The Company of Brothers want to take this opportunity to formally introduce
ourselves to all players.  Our play is NOT based on smack, rudeness, or anything less
than fair play (well...as fair as it gets!) and improving the knowledge base of the
game and the sharing of experimentation and information.  We are not concerned with
personal politics, ideals, etc.  We are players who enjoy the game.
     Currently, our membership includes:
     Asmo Dius, Baphomet, and Fahkry.
     We wish to welcome our newest member...Suiside.  May the gods smile upon you and
victory rest well on your team.  Any who wish to join us may contact one of our
members for info.

4 June 2003
     The last Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse was one of the closest and most exciting
contests ever held in Alastari.  Such an epic demands a sequel.  Therefore, Master
Darque and Jack Wolfspider are pleased to announce the return of the Stormcrowe
     Where?  Stormcrowe DM 45 (slow).  When?  The Slaughterhouse returns on Turn 207,
due August 19.  How can you get into the action?  Bring a team (one per entrant
please) to arena 45 and announce your intention to join the contest in the Personals.
     Rules:  This time around the rules are very simple.  Each warrior win against a
higher rated opponent (one or more points higher in the ratings) brings you 10
points, against even rated opponent 7 points, lower rated 5 points.  Wins against
NPCs or by a warrior who downchallenges are worth 0 points.  Points are doubled for
kills.  All warriors in the arena whether participating in the Slaughterhouse or not
are fair game.  Points are totaled weekly, and the contestant whose team has racked
up the most points at the end of 10 turns is declared Slaughterhouse Champion.
     Prizes:  To be announced; we're still talking with RSI about it.  Figure it will
be something pretty good.  But hey, who needs prizes when the honor of being
Slaughterhouse Champion awaits!
     More info:  Master Darque, MasterDarqueDM@aol.com, or Jack Wolfspider,
russtulp@aol.com.  Or diplo Darque Forces (428) or Dynastic (433) in Arena 45.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

POISON ONE was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
THE MIGHTY SORE vanquished CAN'T BEARIT in a 1 minute brutal uneven Bloodfeud battle.
MARY ANN was savagely defeated by THREEKARD in a 2 minute master's Challenge duel.
JUMBO MUMBO slew RING D'BELL in a 2 minute master's Challenge Title match.
ZEEL BEBUB vanquished GRINNON BEARIT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
ONE HIT WONDER was savagely defeated by SUGAR CUBE in a 5 minute Challenge brawl.
UR BRAIN ON EGG vanquished SEKA in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CAPTAIN MARBLE was savagely defeated by FOLMOR GRIGG in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
KAIN PILLER was overpowered by VESPASIAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
BEARFOOT was overpowered by CJ in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
QUEEN OF DENIAL demolished TEMPUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
VALLET unbelievably bested PROBUS in a exciting 3 minute bloody Challenge battle.
BEAR ACUDA was luckily beaten by KING CRAB in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
LARA CROFT defeated AUGUSTUS in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
NORMA JEAN bested PERFECT PARRI in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
JIAN was overcome by ACE BAILEY in a 5 minute amateur vs. master Challenge bout.
TOONERSPIK was devastated by INCREDIBLE SULK in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BULFUR demolished JEM KATOREH in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CUP OF CAT was beaten by HONEY BEAR in a crowd pleasing 5 minute fight.
BLACK JACK SHELACK slimly lost to TENT IN QUARANTINO in a 4 minute gory contest.
BEAR KEEPER was narrowly defeated by 101 PROOF!! in a 2 minute veteran's duel.
FRANC N' STEEN beat NEDDIE OGIL in a 3 minute fray.
LATTE was vanquished by GALLIENUS in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
SUCULANT was defeated by 100% COLUMBIAN in a popular 2 minute veteran's match.
LICINIUS vanquished SORN THE BALD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
DEEP FRIED LARD outwaited RONDOL QUIGLO in a tiring 7 minute fight.
TEN O'CHTITLAN demolished LADY FIST in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
SHAN was vanquished by COTTONMOUTH 3 in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BORN LOSER handily defeated COBRA 3 in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BOMBAY outwaited FAT BACK FRAG in a slow 9 minute novice's bout.
ANACONDA lost to QUICKSILVER in a 1 minute novice's fray.
ADDER beat LUCIFERETTE in a popular 1 minute novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         TOTAL PARRY       66 -  49 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         WALL OF STEEL     77 -  60 -  2      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         LUNGING ATTACK    89 -  83 -  5      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         BASHING ATTACK    48 -  53 -  4      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         AIMED BLOW        34 -  38 -  0      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         STRIKING ATTACK   59 -  66 -  3      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  17 -  4      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -  29 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  18 -  0      25  |

Turn 199 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      6 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     8 - 10         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  5         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  3     AIMED BLOW         2 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    JUMBO MUMBO 4714           15   1  1  127 SPOONERTIKS (523)
BASHING ATTACK   ZEEL BEBUB 4713            11   5  1  110 SPOONERTIKS (523)
LUNGING ATTACK   THREEKARD 4600             13   6  1  107 CARNIVAL (411)
AIMED BLOW       TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816    13   2  0   92 SPOONERTIKS (523)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      HONEY BEAR 3032            16  12  0   76 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MARY ANN 4378.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was THREEKARD 4600.  The ten other most popular fighters were RING D'BELL 4300, 
PROBUS 4910, BEAR ACUDA 4995, CUP OF CAT 4926, SUGAR CUBE 4617, 100% COLUMBIAN 4874, 

The least popular fighter this week was BOMBAY 5043.  The other ten least popular 
5048, COBRA 3 5047, SHAN 4431, LADY FIST 5031, LATTE 4667, JEM KATOREH 4499, and 


     For those of you who keep track of such things, 13 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament:

                            STRYSON (12-1368) SHADOW LORDS
                              STEFEN (15-2052) WILD BOYS
                         FROG SLAYER (21-4021) THE GUARDIANS
                       VICTOR CALDERONE (60-5223) CLUB CULTURE
                          TYBALT (62-3696) GRAPHIC VIOLENCE
                         WESTON (65-5719) SUPERIOR FORCES 4I
                            FOGGY (72-4595) DARQUE FORCES
                              NORAF (82-3856) ENVENOMED
                          CHEOPS (82-4451) LEGENDS OF EGYPT
                      THE SCREAMING FANS (82-6495) WHY I PLAY DM
                            CRAB (82-11880) 4-LETTER STDS
                         BRAND (82-13289) TOADS OF AMBER III
                        SHERRI (82-15114) SUPERIOR FORCES 3201

                                          -- Green Eyes