Date   : 09/09/2003    Duedate: 10/06/2003


DM-47    TURN-202

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-4714) [18-1-1,147]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JUMBO MUMBO                    DELARUE
SPOONERTIKS (523)              BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
(47-4714) [18-1-1,147]         (47-5091) [2-0-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THREEKARD                      THREEKARD
CARNIVAL (411)                 CARNIVAL (411)
(47-4600) [13-9-1,102]         (47-4600) [13-9-1,102]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SCREEN DREAMS (488)         39
2. SPOONERTIKS (523)           38      SPOONERTIKS (523)
3. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            36      Unchartered Team
4. COFFEE RULES! (505)         24
5. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      20      BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)         64  26  4 71.1   1/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)        12  1 2
 2/ 1*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)   7   3  0 70.0   2/ 1 COFFEE RULES! (505)      11  4 0
 3/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   202 115 16 63.7   3/ 5 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   10  5 0
 4/ 4*MY DAY (557)               6   4  0 60.0   4/ 3 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          9  6 0
 5/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217)         363 255 11 58.7   5/ 8 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      8  7 1
 6/ 6 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     118  89  4 57.0   6/ 6 CARNIVAL (411)            8  7 0
 7/ 8 COFFEE RULES! (505)       74  56  2 56.9   7/11*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  7  3 0
 8/ 7 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         535 418 29 56.1   8/ 4 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      7  8 1
 9/ 9 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     254 236 26 51.8   9/12*MY DAY (557)              6  4 0
10/ 0*DREWS CREW (546)           5   5  0 50.0  10/14 LAND OF OZ (217)          5  5 0
11/10 CARNIVAL (411)           129 131  7 49.6  11- 7 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  5  5 0
12-11 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  25  26  1 49.0  12/13 THE FEDERATION (539)      5  9 0
13/12 THE FEDERATION (539)      34  38  1 47.2  13- 9 MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)      4  6 0
14-13 MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)      61  71  2 46.2  14/10 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       4  7 1
15/18 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       52  77  4 40.3  15/ 0*DREWS CREW (546)          3  2 0
16/16 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    73 110  2 39.9  16-17*FORLORN HOPE (78)         1  0 0
17-19*FORLORN HOPE (78)          8  13  1 38.1  17-18*DARK MATTER (550)         1  3 1
18-20*DARK MATTER (550)          2   7  1 22.2  18/ 0*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)     1  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)      1   4  0 20.0  19/16 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    1 11 0
20/ 0*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)      0   1  0  0.0  20/ 0*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                    North Fork's Swampvivor Competition:  Turn 14

     Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaw!  Welcome to da Swamp.
     Turn 13, and still more surprises, as the number 2 team in Swamp Jeopardy is
eliminated from Swampvivor, as Mystic Orc Feast fail to make the grade.  And what I
think is the third turn in a row, Royal Flush are team with the second worst scoring
team for the turn, but that's enough to keep advancing.
     Swampvivor competition is now down to the superb six.

Team updates:

CARNIVAL - 5 points for spotlight.  5 Points for personal ads, 32 points for Team On
Move #4, Total score for turn 14 - (421 points)
Bear Keeper - 8 Points for Bashmaster
Threekard - 148 points for challenge, 22 points for overall popularity
leader, 102 points for turns most popular
Franc N'Steen - 35 points for win
Perfect Parri - 32 points for win
Crabbs - 32 points for win

COFFEE RULES - 35 points for TOM#3, 44 points for current top team, 5 points for
pads.  Total score for turn 14 - (426 points)
Bombay - 32 points for win, 14 point penalty for third least popular.
101 Proof! - 70 points for win, 34 points for challenge
Sugar Cube - 70 points for win, 26 points for challenge
Latte - 32 points for win
100% Columbian - 92 points for #2 most popular.

DRAKE'S COMICS - 5 points for personal ads, 25 points for long spotlight, 200 bonus
points for best spotlight, 10 points for revenged bloodfeud - Total score for turn
14, (422 points)
Quicksilver - 335 points for win, 36 points for challenge, 33 points for up & coming
challenger Init.
Incredible Sulk -134 points for win
The Mighty Sore - 70 points for win, 61 points for #5 popular
Vallet - 18 points for challenge
Captain Marble - 0 points

MYSTIC ORC FEAST - Total score for turn 14 - (107 points) - Eliminated from
Fat Back Frag - 102 point penalty for early DA.
Deep Fried Lard - 15 points for challenge.
Ur Brain on Egg - 15 point penalty for false strikemaster
One Hit Wonder - 35 points for win, 22 points for challenge, 10 points for
Cup Of Cat - 35 points for win, 16 points for challenge, 91 points for up & coming

ROYAL FLUSH - 25 points for long spot.  5 points for Pads, 52 points for TOM #2, 35
point penalty for biggest avoider  Total Score for turn 14 - (336 points)
King Crab - 24 points for challenge.
Ten O'Chtitlan - 4 point penalty for #9 Unpopular
Black Jack Shelack - 70 points for win, 50 points for challenge
Ace Bailey - 64 points for win, 5 points for #11 popular
Queen of Denial - 35 points for win, 25 points for challenge, 20 points for #9

SPOONERTIKS - 69 points for Top Chartered Team, 29 points for TOM#5, 5 points for
Personal Ads - Total score for turn 14 (659 points)
Mutus Braximus - 32 points for win
Jumbo Mumbo - 104 points for win, 138 points for DM, 69 points for chartered
recognition leader, 10 points for wastemaster, 10 points for #10 popular
Zeel Bebub - 134 points for win.
Tent in Quarantino - 24 points for challenge, 3 points for aimmaster.
Stroke Broker - 32 points for win

THE BEAR'S PAW - 67 points for most avoided, 5 points for Personal Ads, 200 bonus
points for best personal ad.  Total score for turn 14 - (9158 points)
Grinnon Bearit - 32 points for win, 18 points for Lungemaster, 9385 points for
Can't Bearit - 23 point penalty for Dark Arena Death, 29 points for most challenged,
500 point penalty for ducking a BF by going to the Dark Arena.
Honey Bear - 32 points for win
Bear Acuda - 35 points for win, 32 points for challenge, 44 points for up & coming
Adept, 4 points for Plungemaster
Bearfoot - 2 point penalty for #10 Unpopular

SWAMPVIVOR TURN 14 RESULTS (200 point bonuses included in scores)

TEAM Score Bonus
1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)  9358 "200"
2. SPOONERTIKS (523)      659
3. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)   622 "200"
4. COFFEE RULES! (505)    426
5. CARNIVAL (411)         421
6. ROYAL FLUSH (48)       336

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SWAMP JEOPARDY STANDINGS AFTER TURN 13 (bonus points not included)

TEAM      Score Bonus  Last Turn
1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)    11413329 "600" 1
2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      9854 "200" 2
3. SPOONERTIKS (523)           8669   3
4. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            6690   4
5. COFFEE RULES! (505)         6413 "400" 5
6. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)        3835 "400" 7
7. SCREEN DREAMS (488)         3721 "600" 6
8. CARNIVAL (411)              3566 "1200" 8
9. THE FEDERATION (539)        1008 "200" 10
10. THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)     -666 "600" 11

Drake's Comics sneak by the Screen Dreams to move up from 7th to 6th, but otherwise,
the rankings in Swamp Jeopardy remain solid.

MC of the Swampvivor and Swamp Jeopardy Competitions
Mngr of Royal Flush

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                                SWAMPVIVOR, CARNIVAL

yes right here...HER!  Yes she.  The one and only.  So step to your left.  That's
right, left.  Move right along to your left, yes left, left.  That's right.  She's
here.  The starkissed and lovely...STARRY GAZE...But first, excuse me...I know some
of you are here seeking the tonic for your Rainstorm Mordementia.  If so, step to the
right, that's right, not the left, right.
     Thank you, Yo-Yo.  I'm sure everyone has the directions right and left right.
Except of course for the Middle Way who will use the center door.  I have my free
Horoscope for Swampvivor.  There is an interesting configuration somewhat resembling
the classic 'yod' but involving a fourth planet directly opposed to the action
planet.  My interpretation is that there is a certain pattern for a period of time
until the established pattern is ABRUPTLY interrupted into a new direction.  My view
is there is not 'lock' on the SWAMPVIVOR standings.  The Middle Way's jump was an
aspect of this at work.  The ones who stand 1-2-3-4-5 could be shockingly
interrupted.  I will watch with interest.  Remember the stars do not compel, they
influence...A word for Aries:  Summer's end could be your lucky time and I see your
artistic skills emerging...Leo:  Let someone else select your opponents as the plant
Jupiter is in your astrological hog heaven...Aquarius:  Being open and honest and
telling the truth will not work.  Lose the steel helmet.  It is being used to control
you with telepathic mind control.  I thank you!!!

                    STARRY GAZE, CARNIVAL

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Hello, Campers.  Well, the powers that be finally decided it was time for Grinnon to
leave the building.  He departs with a 21-14-2 (plus-or-minus whatever his night
fight this month brings), and a bit of frustration for 5 consecutive turns
unsuccessfully challenging the throne.  As per tradition, his stats are as follows:
13(2), 7(1), 9-21-15-9-13.  Don't ask about the three stat raises, remember, he's
over nine years old.  Skills break down as follows:  ADV MAST: Initiative and Attack,
MAST: Riposte and Defense:  EXP: Decisiveness.  Parry we won't talk about.  93 total
learned skills.  He goes off to meet with Bearnice on the Isle whereabouts I plan to
actually participate in ADM...sometime.  His graduation leaves only Honey Bear as
part of the "Old School Paw"....

The Russian Blue of Reports:  Kat

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                            Riding Mediocrity To Victory!

     Since some of you may be curious, and because he is now retired, I give you the
life story of Incredible Sulk.
     Incredible Sulk started life as a 16-8-8-12-4-11-11 recruit, who I trained into
a 20-8-8-17-9-11-11 Striker.  He started out fairly nicely, being bonused by +4 in
Initiative, though he was -1 in Riposte.  He had normal Endurance (being slightly
blessed) and Great Damage (right on the money), and basically mode in all other ways.
     His learning process was a tad lopsided (out of 60 total skills learned, 30 were
in Decise and Init) and as a result, he did not achieve his Expert rating in Attack
until he was well into the Champions class.  As it is, he ended with only an EX+2 in
that skill.  His final ratings ended up at:  Init 24, Rip 17, Att 18, Par 3, Def 12
and Dec 27.
     His arena record (as many here know) ended at 17-7-1 with a kill of Dark
Champion.  In tournaments, he managed a quite a bit more mediocre 13-12-1 (though
that does include a nice highlight of a 7-3-1 Rookies tourney).  This, of course,
granted him a total 37 FE upon graduation and a learn rate of only 1.6.  I had
considered sending him to the DA many times, and was simply waiting for his arena
record to drop below 60%.  However, IS was obviously made of sterner stuff, as he
never allowed that to happen and managed to beat several opponents who were, I am
sure, significantly better on paper.  Overall, he fared best against ABs, being 6-0
vs. that style.  Technically PL is next, but it's only a 1-0 and hardly definitive.
However, his 6-1 vs. SLs speaks well of itself, as does his 5-3 vs. Wastes.  On the
other hand, TPs were brutal, as he couldn't get a single win and ended up 0-4 there.
Lungers were the style he fought most, and his second worst at 6-8.  The other styles
round out at:  BA 3-2, ST 2-2 and both PR & PS were 0-0.
     In searching for his favorites, I was far off the mark.  His best Critical
Attack ratio was clearly the Scimitar (at nearly 30%).  Most other weapons hovered
around 7-10% with the LO at 17% and WH at 0%. On Crit Damage, however, the Halberd
was way up there at near 90% with the Warhammer coming in at a solid 66%, and the LO
near 60%.  The dagger had the best knockdowns at 17% with the LO second at 14%.
Performing as well as he did with it, I was almost certain his favorite would turn
out to be the LO.  When it came down to it, though, his final faves are pretty blah
for a striker, favoring the Short Spear (a weapon I never got around to trying),
Moderate Offense and Activity, with Decise skills and the Decise tactic.  Pinning
down the favorites on a Striker is damned tough, because they can literally be
     Interestingly enough, he graduated with only 15 Political Points by the
traditional standard calculations (unless I counted wrong), but I have a theory as to
why that is.  No, I'm not telling, as it's highly untested at the moment and merely
based upon personal observation.
     So, maybe some of you learned something (such as a mediocre warrior that's
winning, is still a winning warrior).  If this actually ends up being long enough to
garner me any points in Crip's contest, I'll be very surprised.  Later all.

-- Drake

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #67 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Near Zukal:

     After the thing--shadow, demon, whatever it was--left, Ghenis sat and stared
into the night for a long time.  He kept the fire up, even though he didn't need it
for heat; fire might be a defense, and the thing might come back.  He stayed awake
just in case that happened; this wouldn't be the first night he'd gone without sleep.
Better to be tired in the morning than dead.  And he had some serious thinking to do.
     He glanced around his campsite quickly.  The horse was calm enough now, no need
to worry about it running off.  Besides, it would have to get past him to get out of
the enclosure formed by the broken walls.  Veleks was asleep, or unconscious, and
just as well.  The little thief was a useful tool, but not for thinking.
     What was this thing that he'd seen, that had driven Veleks, who feared water, to
risk drowning rather than be caught?  He'd been thinking of it as a sort of demon,
but what sort?  His defenses here would stop natural predators such as wolves, but
not demons; for that, he should have needed something magical.  Could his amulet have
been protection enough?  He didn't think so, especially since he hadn't called on the
power behind it.  So was this... thing some kind of natural predator?  And if so,
where had it come from?  Why had it appeared now when there was no indication of such
a creature prowling the area in the past?
     And what would it DO to its victims besides drive them into a frenzy of terror?
Was that all it wanted, or would it have killed Veleks if it had caught him?
     And most important of all, what use could he and his masters make of this new
     Come morning, and even the gray and rainy light was welcome, though.  Ghenis
wanted to get back to Zukal as quickly as possible.  With Veleks riding double with
him on his one horse, that wasn't as quickly as he hoped for.  He thought of leaving
his henchman at one of the smaller towns outside the city--his cult had contacts in
several of them, and there were hangouts for thieves in general where the man would
have been accepted if not welcomed.  But Veleks wouldn't have it.  He would stay with
his leader who had rescued him from the monster, and not in some flimsy village inn.
Suggestions that they part company always resulted in the little thief bursting into
tears, which was damned embarrassing.
     Veleks was being a nuisance, so much so that Ghenis found himself wishing the
little thief had died yesterday.  The man's nerve had been broken, and Ghenis was
beginning to wonder whether the break might be permanent.  That would spell trouble
for all involved.  There was no place for a broken man among the servants of the dark
     The obvious thing would be to kill the wretch.  But the gladiator found it hard
to follow through on that while Veleks was looking at him so gratefully.  It would be
like kicking a puppy, and while he was prepared, in theory, to kick puppies if that's
what needed doing, it wasn't an easy thing to contemplate in cold blood.  Perhaps he
could send Veleks somewhere far away, to some place where the little thief could be
sure of never meeting one of the monsters again.  Hmm, if water provided safety,
perhaps he could send Veleks along with a mission to Niatoli Island that was in
     Yes, Niatoli Island would be the place for Veleks now.  He'd see about getting
the thief onto the next ship headed that way.

Near Malcorn:

     Blackie, Lord Malcorn of Malcorn, stood next to the ancient stone and waited for
the moon to rise.  It would be full tonight, and he knew, because he knew most of the
natural world around Malcorn, that when it reached a certain height above the
horizon, it would shine through the hole in a more distant rock and strike squarely
onto the face of the rock beside him, revealing carvings that had been old when the
first Lord Malcorn came to this land.  The records of his ancestors said that the
Dregur were accustomed to gathering here when the moon was just so.
     "I must be insane," Tiljanz muttered behind him.
     "Courage and a sense of responsibility often looks like madness," Blackie
agreed, "even to the people exhibiting it.  You didn't have to come here tonight, but
you felt it was the right thing to do.  I can respect that in a man.  A lot."
     "Will it do any good?" the young Karnhorn asked curiously.  "We've turned the
Dregur loose, and I'd think it hard if not impossible to rein them back in."
     "We turned them loose under terms," Blackie said.  His voice hardened, becoming
the voice of the Lord of Malcorn.  "They have not kept those terms.  They were to
attack only those who came here following Inzolas.  That a few innocents might get
caught in that net by accident was... almost inevitable.  But some of the Dregur have
been actively hunting those not indicated by the terms of their release."  He was
silent for a long moment, then shrugged.  "I'm not certain that we can put an end to
these... excesses.  But I am very certain that if we don't protest, the situation
will become worse.  A failure to protest will be seen as an admission of weakness."
     Tiljanz shrugged.  It sounded like politics as usual, or at least, the politics
of those he dealt with, the lesser lords within the Glorious Empire.  Vicious
infighting was the order of the day in those circles.  "I trust your judgment in
this, as I must, of course."  He glanced at the sky uneasily.  "And I should think we
don't have much longer to wait...."
     "No."  Blackie watched the moonlight appear in the eye of the distant stone and
slant across the clearing, creeping along the face of the stone beside him.  It
wouldn't be long now.
     The finger of light slid across the surface and touched the worn carvings, which
leaped into sudden clarity.  The little clearing, which had been empty except for the
two of them, was suddenly full of shadows.  Or something.  Tiljanz could feel the
weight of a dozen minds thinking about him--calculating minds, hostile minds, hungry
ones.  He held himself still and quiet with difficulty.  This was Lord Malcorn's
meeting; he himself was just present as a witness.
     Words came out of the darkness, hollow as caves, clear as trumpets.  "Why are
you here, Malcorn?"

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #68 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<


     "It's moved into the old office building on the waterfront," Spymaster Torric
said.  "The one with the old arena records in it, you know?"
     "They, not it," Jorja corrected absently.  "More than one monster or whatever.
But I wonder why the office building?  It seems so unlikely: the Office Building of
Doom or something."
     Torric laughed but said, "It wasn't always an office building.  Forty or fifty
years ago, it was a merchant prince's palace.  Then the merchant went broke--don't
ask me how, because I do NOT want to know--and Tokken Makrok got the building as part
of the, um, settlement of debts, I guess.  And when the arena opened, he sold the
building to the Gladiatorial Commission, and then the lake rose and drowned the lower
floor...."  He shrugged.  "But it was built on a much older foundation.  Hundreds of
years older."
     "What was it then, hundreds of years ago?" Jorja asked.
     "I've got no clue, I wasn't around then," the Spymaster said.  "Heck, I wasn't
even around when the merchant prince was going broke; I heard about that from my
grandfather."  He topped up his stein from the pitcher on the table.  "What are you
going to do about it?  And where's Garfield--isn't that the guy that with you?"
     "Garfield's got interests all over Alastari, you can't expect him to hang around
Riztab just to investigate a haunted office building.  And besides, why should I, he,
or we do anything at all about it?"
     "It worries people," Torric said.  "There are, well, there are...noises.  At
night.  And sometimes people vanish from the lakefront...."
     "They do that anyway--vanish.  The lakefront isn't the safest place in Riztab
after dark," Jorja pointed out tartly.
     "And if the building belongs to the Commission now, THEY should be responsible
for whatever is going on," she went on relentlessly.
     "But they won't DO anything!"  Torric slammed his tankard down onto the table.
     Jorja shrugged.  "I have my own matters to attend to."
     "At best," the Spymaster went on, "they'll assign some Lord Protectors to
investigate and if possible rid the place of its monsters.  Why wait?  Why not send
some of yours, or call for volunteers, if more are needed and you don't want to go
     "If the Commission sends someone, they'll have to pay expenses," Jorja said.
"If we start on our own, they won't.  And I'm just breaking even as it is."

Between Ibizond and Korga:

     Aghtamar, Zilla, and Cadal sat or knelt, as each preferred, in a shadowy cavern
formed by the drooping branches of a pine.  Cadal had vetoed a fire, but they had
food--thick slabs of bread topped with ham and cheese, and water to drink.  They'd
taken position well before sunset, in case the killer was out early looking for HIS
position of ambush.
     "He doesn't use the same one each time?" Aghtamar asked.
     "No.  There may be some repeating, judging by where the bodies have been found,
but some are too far apart to have been ambushed from the same spot.  There's been a
general progression from east to west, too, as though the killer was coming from the
east coast, maybe from Zuwayza, and heading for the west coast by way of Murska and
Fratsfa.  This seems like about the right distance from the last body--"
     "I just hope the killer doesn't decide this tree would make a good ambush spot
for HIM," Zilla muttered.
     There was a period of silence while the three Lord Protectors alternately ate
and leaned forward to peer through the branches at the road.  Their position was in
the bottom of a small valley where the road crossed a steep, rocky stream on an
arched stone bridge.
     "I wonder where the priests of Kjarran found the monster," Aghtamar asked in a
tone of idle curiosity.  "I wonder if they have any control over it, or if they just
pointed it west at Korga and turned it loose?"
     "You think the priests are responsible for this?" Cadal asked, surprised.
     "Of course," she said.  "Who else?"
     "Some of the invaders might have released something that was caged," Cadal
suggested.  "If it really is a monster of some kind.  If it's just a killer, it could
be anyone.  Besides, if it was set by the Kjarranists, you'd think it would leave
their people alone, and it hasn't.  Well, we can't be sure about beliefs, but all
races have been attacked."
     "The people of Karnhorn race who died might have been followers of Serimna,"
Zilla said.  "The priests of Kjarran hate Serimnists more even than Karragit or Orcs
or Shews.  More even than Elves."
     "It doesn't matter," Cadal said finally.  "Monstrous or mortal, it's a killer
and our job right now is to stop it."
     Aghtamar was taking her turn peering out at the road.  The sun was down, at
least as seen from this location, and the valley was filling with shadows.  She
stiffened and whispered, "Somebody coming!"
     "Fist of Kjarran?" Zilla asked.
     "No, someone coming from the east.  Someone on a horse."
     "Bad time and place for an innocent traveler," Cadal said, moving up to join her
at the edge of their shelter.  "So let's hope it's the killer looking for a place to
set his ambush."
     Zilla crammed the last of her bread and cheese into her mouth, muttered
something indistinct, and began to climb the tree, keeping close to the trunk and
spiraling upward out of sight.
     The road, which was used by traders' wagons as well as foot and horse traffic,
looped back and forth across the steep hillside to get an easier grade, so it most of
it was hidden behind the trees.  All could hear the hoofbeats, though.  One horse,
coming steadily at moderate speed.  The last stretch above the bridge was in the
clear, however, and still lit, more or less, by the ruddy light of the setting sun
reflecting off clouds above the valley.
     A shadow moved at the top of the visible length of road, resolving into a large
hound.  Two large hounds.  Too large to be hounds, but they weren't horses, bears, or
cattle.  The darkness at the edge of the trees stretched out an arm which advanced,
detached, and became a vaguely seen man, or something man-like, on a horse, or nearly
a horse.  A third hound followed on his heels.
     "The killer," Cadal said, his voice little more than a ghost of sound.
"Couldn't be anything else."
     "It could be human and I wouldn't mind," Aghtamar countered as quietly.
"Because THAT surely is no human or any other race I ever met."
     What little they could see of the figure on the horse seemed tall as a Shew but
skeletally thin.  The flame-colored light of the setting sun--or something--made the
eyes of horse, rider, and hounds all reflect redly.  One of the hounds stopped, head
up and turning slowly.  It looked directly at the tree where the gladiators were
hiding and then pointed its nose at the sky and loosed a howl that would freeze the
blood of a salamander.  The rider turned to look toward the tree also, raised a
hunting horn and blew it.  Above them, Zilla gave a startled shriek and slid down in
a shower of bark and needles.
     "We'd better get on the road," Cadal said urgently.  "We're in a trap if we try
to fight from in here."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     The dog charged Fist of Kjarran without finesse, just came straight at him.  It
seemed to grow unnaturally as it came closer, from as big as a pony to a beast that
towered like an elephant, and it bayed continually.  Fist wondered in passing where
it found the breath to keep howling like that as it ran.  No doubt that it was an
unnatural beast of some kind!  He muttered a quick prayer, wished for a boar spear,
and knelt, bracing his sword to receive the plunging monster.
     At the last moment, its breath already cold on his face, the beast swerved to
pass Fist to his left.  Fist twisted quickly and managed to slash across its ribs,
though the cut was only a shallow one.  The dog twisted, too, whining with frustrated
eagerness to kill.  Fist got back on his feet so that he could turn and keep his face
and blade to the circling hound.  Why it didn't leap in to attack, he could not
imagine.  It backed up out of blade's reach and bayed at him.  The sound was
unpleasant, but that was all--what was the fool creature doing?
     It bayed again, with vibrato and tricky overtones.  Abruptly Fist guessed that
it was trying to frighten him.  What the heck?  Could it ONLY kill through fear, or
at least only physically attack those who had been unmanned by fear?  He lunged
suddenly, and it scrambled back out of the way rather than meet the attack and
attempt to fight.  Kjarran and Jayde!  It was like the old motto: the only thing to
be feared was fear itself.  He leaped to the attack again, pressing the infernal
hound relentlessly.  The hound dodged and twisted agilely, and whenever it had a
moment, it howled.  Not the hunting call, but the howl of a dog voicing its woes.
     It was answered by a hunting horn from farther down the valley, and for the
first time since he'd seen the hound, Fist of Kjarran again noticed the sound of
battle down there.  Apparently the hound was calling for help.
     Kjarran and Jayde!  A beast of prey that was at least twice his size and still
needed help to kill him was not something to frighten a child, much less a Lord
Protector!  But there was no telling, the help it summoned might be more formidable.
Better to take care of the hound now, at once, and not have to fight hound and helper
together.  Besides, his assistance might be needed down at the bridge where the other
Lord Protectors were fighting the hound's master.  He made a determined attack on the
hound, pressing it back with his thrusts and slashes, attempting to corner it against
the low bank at one side of the road.  It yelped, snapped, and lunged back at him
     "Ah...I shoulda remembered," Fist muttered, dodging.  "Cornered rats and
all...."  He tried one last slash as the beast went by and laid open its hip to the
bone.  It screamed and fell.
     There was a wordless shout of fury from farther along, two human screams,
drumming hooves that approached his position faster than a horse should be able to
gallop up that slope.  Fist moved quickly to put his back to the low bluff beside the
road.  It would hamper his movement, but it would be a worse problem for the
horsemen; at least here he wouldn't have to worry about being ridden down.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 473): GWEN RYDER of DREAM PARK (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 471): CAT FANCY of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 467): INNERVISION of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): PA ELL of WAY OF THE SWORD (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 465): PAN of DEITIES & DEMIGODS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 464): VOO DOO of UNKNOWNS XII (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 232): LUCKY LUCIEN of CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 456): MR. YUCK of THE TAKEN (Stillgard, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 230): PHOENICIA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 453): TROTLINE of FISHERMAN'S WHARF (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 451): OLD MAJOR of PIG BATTALION (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 444): KING BEAR of THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 407): SUNGOD DESIGNED ME of WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 201): JUMBO MUMBO of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 188): MR. HOOPER of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 332): BESOT of ACT OF MALICE (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 312): THE BUM of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): JUSTICE of PEACE MAKERS (Solomon, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 357): NEMESIS of CHAMPIONS from JHELUM (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM  9 ZUKAL (turn 473): CLAN O' WHOOPAS (?, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 471): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 467): GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): SILK AND STEEL (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 465): WHEN EAGLES DARE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 464): DRAGON JUNKIES (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 232): BAD GERMS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 456): THE GUILD (Guido, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 230): OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 453): DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 451): WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 444): THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 407): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 207): MORDRED'S MADMEN (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 201): COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 188): OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 332): REDHORSE (Mila, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 312): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 357): MEOW MIX, etc. (Ultraist, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 470): DOORSTOP of SWEET MAGIC (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 466): DIRT KNAP of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): PA ELL of WAY OF THE SWORD (Vhagar, mgr.)
                           PAZUZU of THE BLACKHEARTS (Nunzio Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 464): KILLIN' STU of MINIONS OF MILO (Kleptov Grenufelbitz)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 463): KANDY KANES of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 231): BATMANNING (28-3402) CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 229):ODYSSEUS of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                               KRAC D'CHEVALIERS of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord)
                               BABBS BUNNY of LOONY TOONS (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 443): BRIGIT of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
                   (turn 200): ZEEL BEBUB of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
                               INCREDIBLE SULK of DRAKE'S COMICS (Drake, mgr.)
                               MARY ANN of SCREEN DREAMS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 187): CLOUDS AWAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 311): ON MY WAY of SADISTS F2F (SunGod, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): JUSTICE of PEACE MAKERS (Solomon, mgr.)
                            SCRAG'S LIZARD of DARK CIRCLE PETS II (Guardian, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Greetings Forkers....

Well, here I am again, proud to be top of this tree....

Wise man once say:  From the top of this tree I look down and see you all looking up
at me with big smiling faces.  Sadly for you, when you look up all you see is an



Jumbo Mumbo

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
NORTH FORK brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, COFFEE RULES!, since 
SPOONERTIKS took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Now keep the 
taverns open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for DRAKE'S COMICS, whose 
2-3-0 this turn dropped them by 4 into 8th.  Ha!  BORDEAUX - SAINTES turned their 
3-2-0 turn into a 7th place rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, 
and you get put on hit lists.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see ACE 
BAILEY win a fight and gain 18 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, THE MIGHTY SORE beat 
BLACK JACK SHELACK and BLACK JACK SHELACK lost 9 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  
Looks like NORTH FORK has some guts at least, JUMBO MUMBO the Duelmaster was this 
turn's most-challenged warrior.  THREEKARD challenged NORTH FORK's Duelmaster for a 
shot at the throne.  And if variety is the spice of life, NORTH FORK may be getting 
bland, as JUMBO MUMBO stays top dog in the city.  The Warty Toad, humph!  I've tasted 
better ale at mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  From NORTH FORK's trash 
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  NORTH FORK, I am losing what little hope I had in you. 
SPOONERTIKS the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And who 
led the way in this mass act of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was 
BORDEAUX - SAINTES.  Ha ha ha ha!  I guess I can give a little credit to BEARFOOT of 
THE BEAR'S PAW for challenging up by 18 to LATTE.  BEARFOOT lost to get 45 points of 
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  Whoa!  I'll even buy GRINNON BEARIT a 
drink tonight!  Anyone who can come back from the Dark Arena, I want to be on his 
good side!  SCREEN DREAMS has cause to pause today, as JILL KELLY was sent to the 
Dark Arena, and came back--though not in the best of moods, I'll wager.  Titanium 
shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing these kinds of 
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  Glad 
to see the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JUMBO MUMBO 4714             18   1  1   147       SPOONERTIKS (523)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE MIGHTY SORE 4490         15  10  0   127       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 SUGAR CUBE 4617              14   9  0   104       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 THREEKARD 4600               13   9  1   102       CARNIVAL (411)
 CUP OF CAT 4926              10   4  0   102       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 ONE HIT WONDER 4680          15   5  0   101       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816      15   3  0    95       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 STRAW FIRE 4350              11   6  0    95       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BEAR KEEPER 3782             21  28  2    93       CARNIVAL (411)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 101 PROOF!! 4495             15  12  0    90       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850      10   7  0    90       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 HONEY BEAR 3032              17  14  0    81       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896          8   7  0    80       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-SEKA 4612                    11  11  0    77       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 ACE BAILEY 4948               6   6  0    75       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 JEM KATOREH 4499             17  21  1    73       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-BULFUR 5041                  18  13  0    71       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 FRANC N' STEEN 4649          15   5  0    69       CARNIVAL (411)
 BROOMSTICK 4474               8   7  0    69       LAND OF OZ (217)
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            15  23  0    68       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703         10   8  0    68       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LATTE 4667                   14   7  0    63       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 100% COLUMBIAN 4874           9   6  1    62       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-PROBUS 4910                   6   4  0    62       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 BELANNA TORRES 4898           7   8  0    61       THE FEDERATION (539)
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975          9   0  0    58       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VESPASIAN 4932                6   6  0    54       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-LICINIUS 4912                 5   4  0    54       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          10  11  0    53       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COURAGE 4552                  6   4  1    53       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BEAR ACUDA 4995               4   2  0    53       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-KIRA NERYS 4941               6   4  1    47       THE FEDERATION (539)
 BEARFOOT 4875                 8   8  0    45       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 KING CRAB 4983                4   4  0    44       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 NEDDIE OGIL 4663             10  12  0    43       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-GALLIENUS 4956                4   5  1    41       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 TEN O'CHTITLAN 4982           5   3  0    37       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-AUGUSTUS 4909                 3   6  0    37       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-SORN THE BALD 5037            9   9  0    36       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 QUICKSILVER 5029              3   1  0    36       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 RAINBOW 4553                  5   6  0    35       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LARA CROFT 4980               5   3  0    33       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 DELARUE 5091                  2   0  0    33       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 JILL KELLY 5087               1   1  1    33       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 BOMBAY 5043                   4   0  0    31       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SEVEN OF NINE 4940            6   4  0    29       THE FEDERATION (539)
 JADZIA-DAX 4900               6   9  0    29       THE FEDERATION (539)
-FINAL PRAYER 790              3   0  1    29       FORLORN HOPE (78)
-BORN LOSER 5032               4   1  0    25       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 PERFECT PARRI 4967            4   7  0    24       CARNIVAL (411)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VALLET 4963                   6   5  0    23       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 CRABBS 5093                   2   0  0    21       CARNIVAL (411)
 AXE 4551                      5   5  0    20       LAND OF OZ (217)
 MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095           2   0  1    18       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 JEAN-LUC DELPECH 5089         2   0  0    17       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 STROKE BROKER 5094            2   0  0    17       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-ARISTON 508                   2   2  0    17       FORLORN HOPE (78)
 RENAUD DION 5088              1   1  0    17       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 LAVERGNE 5092                 2   0  0    15       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 CHAOS 5065                    2   0  0    14       MY DAY (557)
 DABO GIRL 5023                2   2  0    14       THE FEDERATION (539)
 IVAN POISY 5112               1   0  0    11       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            1   8  0    11       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-GALENIUM 5015                 2   0  1    10       DARK MATTER (550)
 LEWIS 4989                    2   0  0     9       DREWS CREW (546)
 FRUSTRATION 5067              1   1  0     8       MY DAY (557)
 MASS STUPIDITY 5068           2   0  0     7       MY DAY (557)
 CARNAGE 5069                  1   1  0     7       MY DAY (557)
 STINGRAY HAMMER 5064          1   0  0     7       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
-LAST GOOD GUY 792             1   2  0     7       FORLORN HOPE (78)
 HAWKEYE HAMMER 5061           0   1  0     7       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
 OSWALD 4991                   1   1  0     6       DREWS CREW (546)
 KATE 4992                     1   1  0     6       DREWS CREW (546)
-DEATHSTORM 791                1   2  0     6       FORLORN HOPE (78)
-TOE FOO 5054                  1   1  0     4       MEL'S DRAGOONS (553)
 DREW 4993                     1   1  0     4       DREWS CREW (546)
-ANGEL HEART 5014              0   2  0     2       DARK MATTER (550)
-JAMESINFREE 5011              0   2  0     2       DARK MATTER (550)
 RONY MARTIAS 5090             0   2  0     2       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 MAYHEM 5066                   0   2  0     2       MY DAY (557)
 MIMI 4990                     0   2  0     2       DREWS CREW (546)
 BUFFY 5086                    0   2  0     2       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
-SCOLLMORE 5012                0   2  0     2       DARK MATTER (550)
 IRON MAN HAMMER 5063          0   1  0     1       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
 JUGGLENOUGHT 5111             0   1  0     1       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 PANTHER HAMMER 5062           0   1  0     1       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
-HARPY 5013                    0   1  0     1       DARK MATTER (550)
 GOLIATH HAMMER 5060           0   1  0     1       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113        0   1  0     1       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BEARNAISE 5114                0   1  0     1       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
RING D'BELL 4300      16 11 0 CARNIVAL 411          JUMBO MUMBO 4714      199         
FOGGY 5070             0  1 0 CARNIVAL 411          GALENIUM 5015         200         
DARK CHAMPION 24       0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          GRINNON BEARIT 2955   202 NONE    
SHEWISH GIANT 21       0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          JILL KELLY 5087       202 NONE    
OLGON PUY 4968         0  7 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  GALLIENUS 4956        198 NOT REVE
NUZZLY FLAVA 5075      0  1 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095   202         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Asmo Dius -- I declare the intent of the Vendetta Cartel to join the Turf War.  I am
not sure if we will join together or as families.  I represent the Strongarm Senate
Branch and will lead unless C.F.H. decides he wants to.  If we join as an entire
group, I defer leadership to any Captain or to Master Darque.  I have spoken, so mote
it be. -- ABRAXIS, LT. Vendetta Cartel

Asmo Dius -- I have notified customer service to send you a $5.00 cert. for my team
Drews Crew (546) to enter the Turf War for the V.C.  I will declare a champion before
the start of the contest. -- ABRAXIS

Asmo -- Must a warrior's style be revealed to qualify for the stylemaster award in
the Turf War? -- ABRAXIS
P.S.  I need your snail mail address.

Rondol Quiglo -- Good fight. -- Bombay

Bear Keeper -- Thanks for the skills. -- 101 Proof!! 

Seka -- Sorry about that.  You're out, I'm in.  Nothing personal, all business. --
Sugar Cube

Ace Bailey -- Keep on testing me.  Okay, so it was a matchup.  So close.  Thanks for
the skills. -- 100% Columbian

Drake -- Way to go with the annual review. -- Mr. Coffee

Ace Bailey -- Rapa?  You cad!  I'd never! -- Bombay

Oz -- Welcome home! -- Mr. Coffee

Bordeaux-Saintes/My Day -- Welcome to the Swamp. -- Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules

Asmo -- No 5000 pts.  What you earn is what you get. -- Mr. Coffee

Mr. Coffee & 100% -- Of course, the commission matching up Ace Bailey with the
Columbian drug lord was marvelous karma for your Bombay challenge. -- Crip & Ace

31 -- Small Shield?  I don't want no stinking shield. -- Ten O'Chtitlan

Mel -- Too late, you had to be active in North Fork, what is it, 14 turns, so a
little over a year ago. -- Crip
P.S.  There may be another one coming up in a few years....

Ur Brain on Egg -- Next time, remember to plug in the frying pan, or get a good fire
going for my cast iron skillet. -- Black Jack Shellack

Folmor Grigg -- Don't feel too badly, at least your got a rating out of all of that.
-- Queen of Denial

Probus -- Hate knockdowns. -- King Crab

Vespasian -- You look like one tough little cookie. -- Ten O'Chtitlan

Cup of Cat -- Wow, that's even worse than the hair of the dog that bit me. -- Jem

Queen of Denial -- No!  Say it isn't SO. -- Folmor Grigg

Seven of Nine -- I don't remember if it was me you spoke to, but your personal and
one by "31" ended up in Chimlevtal because Hal just did NOT understand.  I wonder if
you re-sent it when the receipt came back wrong? -- Neddie Ogil
P.S.  No, sorry, it was a personal TO "31" that got misfiled.

Bombay -- What, you won?  Oh, fine.  I wasn't paying attention, because I'm SURE
there must be another warrior around here SOMEWHERE, and I can't find him, and if
Jorja notices that there's only four of us, she's going to be annoyed.  I hate it
when she gets annoyed.... -- Rondor Quiglo

Oz the Back In North Fork -- Hi. -- Jorja the Preoccupied and Out of Town
P.S.  Good to see you back, hope you stay a while.

Jumbo Mumbo -- Any time, for a pal, any time. -- Jem Katoreh

Congratulations to Mumbo Jumbo, a fine Duelmaster, with a great record! -- Oz The

Grinnon Bearit -- Might as well celebrate your invite bang me up, huh?  Salute. --
Straw Fire

Drake's Comics -- How did Quicksilver know to challenge Rainbow? -- Oz The All-

Sorn the Bad -- Did your Mother give you that name?  Perhaps I can help?  I will ask
Courage to be kind to you. -- Oz The All-Helpful

Bearfoot -- I'll bet you didn't know that Broomstick's broomstick was pointed? -- Oz
The All-Knowing

Lara Croft -- You're pretty and sexy and a good fighter and you can have your way
with me any time you want. -- Axe

Born Loser -- Misnomer or false advertising--either way, nice fight. -- Dabo Girl

Frank N' Steen -- What was I thinking running that slow?!  Thanks for the skills. --

Neddie -- What was I thinking running that slow?!  Great teaching, thanks. -- 31

I can't bear not knowing what you were and now you've gone and killed yourself. -- 31

Drake -- Great annual review, thanks!!  Though I'm not sure Jumbo and Tent I.Q. agree
with you that a 7-0 record is better than a 12-1 one....  I've tried to explain, but
they just ain't happy with you about that! -- Spawn

Oz -- Welcome back!!!  Grreeeaaaattttt to see you here again.... -- Spawn

Threekard -- Bold effort...unlucky....  I'm unchanged this turn, so if you fancy
trying a tweak and coming for some more, I'll be waiting for you! -- Jumbo M

The Mighty Sore -- DOH!!!  No excuses, just poor management!  Well. won -- T.I.Q.

Mayhem -- Ies, Y'm b arute -- Mutus B.

Rony Martias -- Fanks thor my warm welcome! -- Stroke B.

Grinnon Bearit -- Congrats on the invite.  I suppose that'll be another ugly amount
of points for you in this Swampvivor thang! -- Spawn

Congrats -- Coffee on taking #1. -- Carny

All -- Anyone notice our 32 point gain?  Is that a world record or what? -- Carny

Welcome -- Bordeaux and My Day.  Prosper and do well. -- Carny, Carnival

Drake -- Great "Annual Review."  Good job.  Two problems.  It does not pertain to
Swampvivor so minus 200 points for you.  See Rule 6, section 3.  Also remark
"convoluted" and "head still hurts", that violates rule 14, part 2.  So minus 400
points.  Sorry about that.  Write it down. -- Carny

Land of Oz -- Big welcome back. -- Carny

Arena -- We want Threekard!  We want Threekard! -- Fans

The Russian Blue of Reports, Kat

     Something seems to have gone astray with this, but I've no way of tracking it
     down from here. -- Ed.

Bulfur -- Krylon underwear! -- Abyssinian of Armor, Kat

Mary Ann, Sulk, and Mr. Bebub -- Congrats! -- Kat

Broomstick -- You wouldn't happen to be from Hogwarts, are you? -- The Curious
Calico, Kat

Straw Fire -- Ah, you were his last. -- The Reflective Kitty, Kat

Dr. Mabuse and Priestly one -- Welcome to the Swamp!!! -- Your Bobtailed Brother, Kat

Black Jack Shellack -- You're just jealous that I'm better than you and only needed 2
names to become so. -- Incredible Sulk

Carny -- Uhm, if Crabbs is supposed to be in Zensu, it's a tad lost. -- Drake

Mr. Coffee -- Sorry, but I don't follow coffee rules.  I'm a devoted follower of the
great Coco. -- Drake

Yay!  Oz is back!  Tell you what, in honor of your return, I'm offering 10% off
everything in the 25-cent bin at the comic shop. -- Drake, happy to have you back

Slaughter Priest -- Welcome. -- Drake
P.S.  BTW, is your first name a verb or adjective?

Kat -- Hey!  I had one more turn!  Cheapskate!  Short-Changer!  You...you...you
*canine*! -- The Mighty Sore

Tent In Quarantino -- And I won't go see your new movie, either! -- The Mighty Sore

Licinius -- Okay, okay!  I'll be careful when I park it.  Sheesh! -- Vallet

Belanna Torres -- You've got something on your nose. -- Captain Marble

Rainbow -- Now where's my pot of gold? -- Quicksilver

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

9 September 2003
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MANAGERS!  If you think you have what it takes to match
wits and blades with some of the best managers in Alastari, then WE WANT YOU!  The
Tournament Of The Golden Scrod #4 will begin in Aradi (DM 60) the turn after the Fall
Mail-In.  It's not too late for you to sign up.  I realize that many of you may be
hesitant after seeing that myself and Hombre have teamed up again, but we'll try to
take it easy on you guys a little bit.  For more information on T#%S IV, please
contact me at ganolus@aol.com.  We're looking for a few good managers...the few, the
proud, the TOGS!

-- Ganolus Oakleaf, T#%S IV Commish

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GRINNON BEARIT butchered DARK CHAMPION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
JILL KELLY savagely slew SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
THREEKARD lost to JUMBO MUMBO in a popular 4 minute master's Bloodfeud Title brawl.
CUP OF CAT demolished BEAR KEEPER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
101 PROOF!! slimly lost to ONE HIT WONDER in a 7 minute master's Challenge fight.
QUEEN OF DENIAL handily defeated JEM KATOREH in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BELANNA TORRES was unbelievably bested by FRANC N' STEEN in a 5 minute Challenge duel.
DEEP FRIED LARD overpowered NEDDIE OGIL in a popular 3 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CAPTAIN MARBLE was savagely defeated by 100% COLUMBIAN in a 5 minute Challenge match.
BEARFOOT was subdued by LATTE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
DELARUE viciously subdued VALLET in a exciting 3 minute brutal Challenge contest.
AXE slimly lost to QUICKSILVER in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
BOMBAY overcame PERFECT PARRI in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.
RENAUD DION was bested by SEVEN OF NINE in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
BUFFY was viciously subdued by CARNAGE in a 1 minute bloody amateur's Challenge bout.
RONY MARTIAS was devastated by DABO GIRL in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
FRUSTRATION was savagely defeated by CRABBS in a 3 minute novice's Challenge bout.
SUGAR CUBE viciously subdued HONEY BEAR in a popular 4 minute master's competition.
TENT IN QUARANTINO viciously subdued KHALHUMS DWARF in a 5 minute veteran's match.
THE MIGHTY SORE vanquished BLACK JACK SHELACK in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
UR BRAIN ON EGG was defeated by ACE BAILEY in a popular 4 minute match.
STRAW FIRE overpowered FOLMOR GRIGG in a popular 1 minute gruesome one-sided duel.
BROOMSTICK savagely defeated KING CRAB in a exciting 2 minute gruesome bout.
BEAR ACUDA overpowered AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
RAINBOW was savagely defeated by TEN O'CHTITLAN in a exciting 7 minute bloody fray.
COURAGE vanquished JADZIA-DAX in a popular 1 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
LARA CROFT handily defeated RONDOL QUIGLO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KATE subdued BEARNAISE in a 1 minute novice's fight.
OSWALD beat LEVIATHAN OF LARD in a 1 minute gruesome novice's bout.
MUTUS BRAXIMUS murdered NUZZLY FLAVA in a 1 minute uneven contest.
DREW was narrowly defeated by JEAN-LUC DELPECH in a 1 minute novice's struggle.
STROKE BROKER overpowered PANTHER HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LAVERGNE subdued HAWKEYE HAMMER in a 3 minute brutal amateur's match.
CHAOS vanquished GOLIATH HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MAYHEM lost to STINGRAY HAMMER in a 2 minute amateur's bout.
MIMI was demolished by IVAN POISY in a 1 minute uneven competition.
MASS STUPIDITY beat IRON MAN HAMMER in a action packed 5 minute novice's fight.
LEWIS won victory over JUGGLENOUGHT in a 2 minute bloody novice's struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         WALL OF STEEL     69 -  43 -  1      62  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         LUNGING ATTACK    87 -  73 -  3      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         TOTAL PARRY       52 -  44 -  0      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         AIMED BLOW        28 -  26 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         STRIKING ATTACK   55 -  52 -  3      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  14 -  4      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   16 -  21 -  0      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         BASHING ATTACK    40 -  58 -  3      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  12 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  17 -  0      19  |

Turn 202 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     4 -  7         4  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  4                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  6                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  5     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    JUMBO MUMBO 4714           18   1  1  147 SPOONERTIKS (523)
LUNGING ATTACK   THREEKARD 4600             13   9  1  102 CARNIVAL (411)
TOTAL PARRY      ONE HIT WONDER 4680        15   5  0  101 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
AIMED BLOW       TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816    15   3  0   95 SPOONERTIKS (523)
STRIKING ATTACK  UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703       10   8  0   68 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
SLASHING ATTACK  COURAGE 4552                6   4  1   53 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 4995             4   2  0   53 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THREEKARD 4600.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was THREEKARD 4600.  The ten other most popular fighters were 100% COLUMBIAN 4874, 
DELARUE 5091, CRABBS 5093, BROOMSTICK 4474, 101 PROOF!! 4495, and NEDDIE OGIL 4663.

The least popular fighter this week was RAINBOW 4553.  The other ten least popular 

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

THREEKARD (47-4600) CARNIVAL (411)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:


                                FACE-TO-FACE XXXII

     Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday 
through Sunday, 16-18 January 2004, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S 
Rural Rd).  Room rates are $119.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy, which includes breakfast.  
The rooms are blocked.  The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with 
the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block.  Our room block will be 
released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then.
     There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.  The hotel is 
located down the freeway in Tempe.  All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra 
charge).  There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and 
restaurant inside the hotel.  And there's Denny's right across the street.  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
     The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late 
November/early December. 
     If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue.  If you have, 
you'll be back.  Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast!  See you there! 

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff