DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/27/2004    Duedate: 02/23/2004

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-207

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BLACK JACK SHELACK
ROYAL FLUSH (48)
(47-4850) [13-9-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HONEY BEAR                     FRUSTRATION
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)           MY DAY (557)
(47-3032) [22-14-0,134]        (47-5067) [6-1-0,58]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

100% COLUMBIAN                 AHURA MAZDA
COFFEE RULES! (505)            KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
(47-4874) [13-7-2,115]         (47-5152) [0-1-0,1]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MY DAY (557)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OLD HABITS (566)            62
2. DARQUE FORCES (396)         44      SPOONERTIKS (523)
3. KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)       41      Unchartered Team
4. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            39
5. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)        36      KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)      5   1  0 83.3   1/ 4*MY DAY (557)             10  3 0
 2/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)         77  37  6 67.5   2/ 7 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         10  5 0
 3/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   218 124 17 63.7   3/ 6 SPOONERTIKS (523)         9  5 2
 4/ 4*MY DAY (557)              20  12  0 62.5   4/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  5 1
 5/ 0 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      78  52  5 60.0   5/12 THE JESUITS (524)         9  6 1
 6/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217)         378 264 12 58.9   6/ 3 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      9  6 0
 7- 6 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     127  96  4 57.0   7/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    9  6 0
 8/ 8 COFFEE RULES! (505)       88  67  3 56.8   8/10 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      7  8 1
 9/ 7 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         549 428 29 56.2   9/11 COFFEE RULES! (505)       7  8 0
10/ 0 SKELETON KEY (493)        52  44  2 54.2  10/ 8 THE FEDERATION (539)      6  9 0
11/ 0 DARQUE FORCES (396)       59  51  3 53.6  11/19*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     5  1 0
12/10 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     270 245 26 52.4  12/ 5 CARNIVAL (411)            5 10 0
13/12 CARNIVAL (411)           139 146  7 48.8  13- 9 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      4  4 0
14/ 9*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  10  11  0 47.6  14/13 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    4  8 0
15/13 THE FEDERATION (539)      45  52  1 46.4  15/15*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  3  8 0
16/14 THE JESUITS (524)         42  55  8 43.3  16/18 PURE POISON (478)         3 10 0
17/15 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       57  83  5 40.7  17/ 0 SKELETON KEY (493)        2  3 0
18/ 0*OLD HABITS (566)           2   3  0 40.0  18/ 0*OLD HABITS (566)          2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/16 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    81 122  2 39.9  19/16 SCREEN DREAMS (488)       1  2 0
20/18 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      28  46  2 37.8  20/ 0 DARQUE FORCES (396)       1  4 0
21/17 PURE POISON (478)         24  43  2 35.8  21/ 0*KWANKAS (571)             1  4 0
22-19*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)      2   5  0 28.6  22/21*EXALTED PATH (565)        1 10 0
23/ 0*KWANKAS (571)              1   4  0 20.0  23-20*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)     0  3 0
24/21*EXALTED PATH (565)         1  10  0  9.1  24/ 0 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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North Fork's Swampvivor Competition

Turn 19

THE GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP

     Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaw!  Welcome to da Swamp.
     Here we are, done to the last two teams, in the blue trunks, armed with a cup of 
java and wearing a coffee bean sack, we have the favourite in the championship round, 
Mr. Coffee and his Coffee Rules Stable.
     In the other corner, leading the coffee-makers in Swamp-Jeopardy by 
approximately 5,500 points, wearing purple trunks with yellow polka-dots, we have the 
master of ring-side mayhem, Carny and Carnival.
     Instead of the normal swampvivor presentation format, a blow by blow battle will 
be told as we read through the newsletter.  So former Carny great, Ring D'Bell, will 
open up with three quick jabs with a miniature hammer.

The arena's attention is drawn to the two stables.

The teams shift as Straw Fire take DM and Chartered Recognition Leader awards.
They pause as Frustration sets in and takes the unchartered recognition leader
100% Columbian blindsides the Carnival Freaks as he enters through a secret door in 
the arena and claims 21 points for Popularity Leader - Score Coffee 21 - Carny 0
101 Proof!! Leaps forward and strikes a mighty blow with 98 points for the turns most 
popular - Score Coffee 119 - Carny 0
Carny launches a counterattack from the Boppo table, claiming 110 points for Team on 
the move - Score Coffee 119  Carny 110.
The teams step back, allowing Land of Oz to take Current Top team award They circle 
each other as Spoonertiks and Knights Templar take Top Team awards.
The audience Jeers, "Asmo - Stop writing spots and get your Turf War Under way"
The audience snores as Crip tallies turn 18 of Swampvivor

Page 2 - Coffee Rules has a slim 9 point lead

Crip continues to cause his students to snooze off in class.
Carny himself launches a water balloon assault with the protection of Umbrella man, 
and claims 5 points - Score Coffee 119 - Carny 115
The audience stirs as Spawn gets 25 points for a long spot, and the 200 point bonus 
for best spot, his first bonus points of the contest.

Page 3 - Coffee Rules lead has shrunk to 4 points

Spawn wraps up his waste of a spotlight
Crip falls asleep during the tales of two free cities

Page 4 - The score remains unchanged

We are impressed to learn that Slugbait has the DM of Chimlevtal.  Crip contemplates 
a 100 point penalty for disloyalty to North Fork

Page 5 - The battle is looking lethargic

Straw Fire sets things ablaze with a moving DM column
Carny ducks out of the way of the Spoonertiks, 31 jumps out and assigns a 38 point 
penalty.  Score Coffee Rules 119 - Carny 77.
Everyone struggles to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but Bombay 
suffers an extended drought in trying without avail to get there.
Deep Fried Lard is noted as an up and coming champion.  Crip decides not to penalize 
Slugbait for his Chimlevtal tangents.
Bear Nekkid catches the stares of all as the up and coming adept Rony Martias 
completes the cycle as the up and coming challenger init.

Page 6 - Coffee Rules lead as been extended to 42 points

Neither Mr. Coffee nor Carny wish to bloody their hands, no points for the dead.
Oz writes plenty of personals
Mr. Coffee claims 5 points for his brief 1-2 liners - Coffee 124 - Carny 77

Page 7 - Coffee Rules has a 47 point lead

Crip makes a few irrelevant comments.  No one can figure out any point implications
Kat rambles on, and somehow his impotence gets him a 200 points bonus.
Carny grabs the ringmaster and take 5 points for personal ads -- Coffee 124, Carny 82
Goat comes back to North Fork
Pure Poison quips.
31 doesn't have much to say, so is brief as usual
Spawn (the manager) brings the page to an end

Page 8 - Coffee Rules lead has been trimmed to 42 points

The Middle way ring in for their traditional personal ads
100% Columbian issues a TV challenge (29 points) and defeats cup of cat (38 points) - 
Score Coffee 191 - Carny 82
Bombay TV challenges Rainbow (48 points) but loses - Score Coffee 239 - Carny 82
101 Proof challenges Honey Bear (43 points) but loses - Score Coffee 282 - Carny 82
Deep Fried Lard boils a Latte (0 points)
Franc 'N Steen  challenges Sugar Cube with a spare tongue (29 points) and dissolves 
him easily (76 points) - Coffee 282 - Carny 187
Dabo Girl challenges Crabbs and goes to see the doctor afterwards (38 points) - 
Coffee 282 - Carny 225
Nettles challenges Luniea Miland (25 points) and collects another 38 points for 
winning - Score Coffee 282 - Carny 288
Axe is bested by Perfect Parri (37 points) - Score Coffee 282 - Carny 325

Page 9 - Carnival has taken a 43 point lead

Rollo's Girl loses to Ragnorok (0 points)
101 Proof!! Proves to be Wastemaster (14 points) - Score Coffee 296 - Carny 325
Crabbs is #3 on the pop. Chart (78 points) - Score Coffee 296 - Carny 403
Sugar Cube is #5 on the pop chart (59 points) - Score Coffee 355 - Carny 403
Nettles sting for #7 on the pop chart (39 points) - Score Coffee 355 - Carny 442
Bombay tries to bore the fans to death (154 point penalty) - Score Coffee 201 - Carny 
442
Three Kard claims 40 points in the freshman tourney - Score Coffee 201 - Carny 482
100% Columbian TV's the champions class (180 points) - Score Coffee 381 - Carny 482
101 Proof!! Bows out of the champs at 0-2 (100 point penalty) - Score Coffee 281 - 
Carny 482
Latte is consumed at 0-2 in the champs (100 points penalty) - Score Coffee 181 - 
Carny 482
Sugar Cubes is burnt by a 0-2 champs tourney (100 point penalty - Score Coffee 81 - 
Carny 482

Page 10 - Carny has built up a huge 401 point lead
Bombay recovers to pull an apprentices TV (180 points) Score Coffee 261 - Carny 482
Mr. Coffee is unable to continue
Carny is Victorious and declared the Swampvivor champion.
Crip sits back and relaxes, glad that it is all over.

SWAMP JEOPARDY FINAL STANDINGS (bonus points not included)

TEAM     Score Bonus  Last Turn
 New Total  Previous Rankings
1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 11414545 "800" 1
2. SPOONERTIKS (523)       18100 "200" 2
3. CARNIVAL (411)          14511 "1800"3
4. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)  11890 "200" 4
5. COFFEE RULES! (505)      8749 "800" 5
6. ROYAL FLUSH (48)         8029       6
7. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     4435 "400" 7
8. SCREEN DREAMS (488)      1793 "600" 8
9. THE FEDERATION (539)     1668 "200" 9
10. THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)  -842 "1000"10

As it turns out, the bonus points had absolutely no impact on the standings, so the 
final scores are

1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 11415345
2. SPOONERTIKS (523)       18300
3. CARNIVAL (411)          16311
4. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)  12090
5. COFFEE RULES! (505)      9549
6. ROYAL FLUSH (48)         8029
7. DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     4835
8. SCREEN DREAMS (488)      2393
9. THE FEDERATION (539)     1868
10. THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)   158

So Carny wins the Swampvivor, and Kat wins the Swamp Jeopardy.  Prizes for each of 
them are the use of a single size potion, which may only be used on a North Fork 
warrior, or if they do not want that prize, they may elect instead to receive 5 team 
rollups from the commission instead.  Both managers should contact Crip via e-mail 
(garth_werner@hotmail.com) will work.  The commission, long ago, also agreed that 
each champion would be able to rename one of the North Fork Dark Arena Monster, so 
please send the name through to me, as well as which monster they would like to 
rename (I believe arenamaster is off-limits)  Again, congrats to both champs

Crip
MC of the Swampvivor and Swamp Jeopardy Competitions
Mngr of Royal Flush

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Asmo Dius, Fellow Managers of North Fork, and fellow Turf War II participants;

'Tis I, your favorite neighborhood feline, Kat, manager extraordinaire of The Bear's 
Paw.  In various dealings throughout Alastari, I have come to know and associate with 
a few managers of other well-respected arenas.  This has led to my association with 
the Griswald Clan of the Vendetta Cartel--a coalition that has yet had any influence 
on my center of operations here in the Beloved Swamp.  With Mr. Dius' announcement of 
the Turf War II Competition, I was approached by several members of the Griswald and 
the Cartel overall to lead our combined efforts in the contest.  Since few know the 
back boardwalks of our town better than I, it was an offer hard to refuse.  Besides, 
I can use the extra help trying to figure out what the heck Carny is saying and 
trying to separate Oz from his stash of butter tonic (which reliable sources have 
spotted, despite his denials).  Therefore, I formally announce myself as the leader 
of the Vendetta Cartel representatives for TWII.  I recognize the Godfather of the 
Cartel and Cosa Nostra representative Master Darque and his team, "Darque Forces"; 
Strong Arm Senate representatives, Abraxis ("Drew's Crew"), and Goat ("The Jesuits"); 
Firehawk ("Home Guard"); and the following representatives of the mighty Griswald 
Clan; Exalted Clark, Doc Mabuse ("Bordeaux Saintes"), Street Legal ("Life's 
Lessons"), and the Slaughtering Priest's ("My Day").  They'll all join my "Bear's 
Paw" as an alliance for the duration of the contest.  Each manager in turn will 
announce his arrival and his chosen champion, as stated by the posted rules.  This 
will serve as notification to the group that such action will need to appear by next 
newsletter.

The Tabby of Turf War;  Kat

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     HURRY!  HURRY!  HURRY!  IT IS I, YOYO YODLES, former Lanced Captain of the 
Kings' Guard.  Have your money ready as I have the products you need to increase your 
wit and ability to survive the SWAMPVIVOR...What?...You ask what do I have?...What's 
your name?...Mr. Coffee you say...Odd you are wearing hat made of old used tea bags 
but never mind you that.  It's a good question.  We have a man of wisdom here today.  
Give Mr. Coffee a hand folks.  To answer your profound question I have here, yes 
right here, the finest products shipped in from the Institoot of Technologically, I 
have for today only, Mule Fern, Panic Grass, Hartstongue, Wrackgreen, Broomrope, 
Lobtears, Scurvygrass, Madder Lilly, Picktooth, and the very rare Bittervetch.  Yes I 
said Bittervetch which has just been proven to cure Suffocation Disease...What?...Yes 
Mr. Coffee, you have a question?...What?...You say you did not know suffocation was a 
disease...You amuse me...How little you know...Have you studied at the Institoot of 
Technologically...No...Well then there is much you do not know.  Such as the latest 
discovery of hawks living under rivers of frozen ice.  Or the research of why parrots 
talk and horses don't.  Or the studies of how to change lead into oatmeal pudding.  
Does that answer your question Mr. Coffee?  Of course it does...Now I have a message 
from Fortune Teller herself.  She says you should all avoid a bridge for the next 
seven days.  Lurking near them are wicked Hnarks ready to snatch unwary travelers and 
drag them into the depths.  A warning to the wise...Now for all who enjoy a wager on 
a game of chance we have laid out a grid for a game of living Chaquemate.  For a 
small entry fee according to the ability of the piece you choose to play, king, 
queen, vizier, elephant, chariot, infantry, with the queen the most powerful and the 
vizier the weakest you can play in a 30 move game with a one minute time limit so 
decide your move after your king orders you to move...So hurry along, do not miss 
your chance to play a game that will stimulate your mind to win in SWAMPVIVOR...Yo Yo 
Yodles, Carnival

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 483): BLUE GOOSE of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 481): ILLUMINAUGHTY of LOBOTOMATION (Manray, Marquis
                           d'Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 477): BURGATORY of SACRILEGIOUS MEAT (Klep, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 478): MUKAARTH of BLACKHEART'S AXE (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 476): GHENGIS KHAN of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 475): TRAGIC TUESDAY of QUASI-LEGAL OPS (Necron 99, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 237): IDIOTIC INDIGO of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 467): BINDI of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 235): SIR PELLEAS of WILLBENDERS (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 463): TIA M. ATT of DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 461): KEOKOTAH of SACKETT'S & CO. (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 454): BRAN AP CADAL of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): SWORDBREAKER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 212): MING of DYNASTIC (Jack Wolfspider, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 206): STRAW FIRE of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 193): NASSE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 342): TENACULUM of GENERAL SURGERY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 322): SWINGLINED SUE of PISSED AT WORK (Nuln, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 142): PRIZMATYK WAHL of MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 368): SETHRA LAVODE of CASTLE BLACK from KYR'TERR
                                (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 483): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 481): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 477): TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 478): DARK WARRIORS (Arcane's Den, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 476): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 475): QUASI-LEGAL OPS (Necron 99, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 237): THE WARLORDS II (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 467): CRIMSON KINGS (The Yellow Jester, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 235): WORDS TO THE WISE (Wordsmith, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 463): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 461): OBSIDIAN HALL (Dameon Darkheart, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 454): STRONGHOLD (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 212): MIKES MORGUE (Mike, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 206): LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 193): none
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 342): BAD APPLES (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 322): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 142): MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 368): WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 483): BLUE GOOSE of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 481): OCTAPUSSY of ARENA FELINES II (Garfield, mgr.)
               (turn 480): SNAGGLE PUSS of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 477): ROWARDENN of SAILS OF CHARON (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 466): MONTY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 234): MACIOBELLY of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                               GAELIN BLACKTALON of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 462): FIZGIGG of FISHERMAN'S WHARF (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 461): OLD MAJOR of PIG BATTALION (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 418): SWORDBREAKER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 211): SNOWFALL of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 205): THE MIGHTY SORE of DRAKE'S COMICS (Drake, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 192): IRIADOR of DRUID'S GROVE (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 341): WORMY of BAD APPLES (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 141): PIXIE BLIGHT of DARQUE FORCES VIII (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Well, hello, everybody.  Hello.  Hello.  I had hoped to be able to reveal my
make up to you, as I had anticipated getting the call to The Isle.  But I guess I
didn't have the necessary votes, so I will keep plugging away.
     When I saw my match-up with good friend One Hit Wonder of Mystic Orc Feast I was
concerned.  His style is not always an advantage for me.  But the gods guided my
sword, and I fought my very best, eking out a victory.  Well fought, I say!
     I wish everyone well in the upcoming tournament.  By the time you read this, we
will all know our results.  May you fight your best and earn your rewards.
     Challenges by the DM?  There are some close friends near the top who want a
piece of me.  Perhaps I will light their fire.
     'Til we meet again,

               Straw Fire (a hot little bugger)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of NORTH FORK.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to 
give you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  The boys at LAND 
OF OZ left the arena dejected, after being kicked out of the top spot by MY DAY.  
Good show!  Those betting on CARNIVAL lost their shirt, as CARNIVAL lost their 
fighting abilities:  0-5-0.  What's a move up by 8 you ask?  (alright, maybe you 
didn't ask)  Cause for celebration, according to KNIGHTS TEMPLAR.  Good things come 
to those who fight well, as COFFEE RULES! can attest, moving up by 2.  Practice pays 
for NEEVA, who pummelled TENT IN QUARANTINO, to pocket 22 points.  Win some, lose 
some.  Speaking of which, PAULA BONES was winsome, after beating KIRA NERYS and 
seeing her lose 17 points.  The arena was more crowded than usual this time, as BLACK 
JACK SHELACK faced NORTH FORK's Duelmaster.  What can be a greater victory?  BLACK 
JACK SHELACK has taken his place as the top, as NORTH FORK's new Duelmaster.  So who 
was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  
Someone's got a basic problem...   
     My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter. 
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights!  To quell some nasty rumors, the guys 
in ROYAL FLUSH are not carrying any incurable diseases.  No need to avoid 'em.  As a 
woman of good breeding scorns the "warriors" of LAND OF OZ, so did that sorry team 
shy from ROYAL FLUSH Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and RAINBOW is it right 
now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't LAND OF OZ proud!  Do my ears deceive me?  
FRANC N' STEEN (outclassed by 27 points) challenged HONEY BEAR, in what promises to 
be a fight.(!) Like a fly challenging a flyswatter, FRANC N' STEEN challenged HONEY 
BEAR, and got squashed.  We sadists got a kick out it!  (as did FRANC N' STEEN) Place 
your bets!  BEAR ACUDA is the long shot of the week:  they challenged RAINBOW, up by 
32.  Soopreyes, soopreyes!  BEAR ACUDA emerges from the fray 7 points the richer.  
Good show, BEAR ACUDA!   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
Q:  What's a record like 8-6-1 get you?  A:  A free trip to the Dark Arena!  This 
week's winner:  AXE of LAND OF OZ!  Hey SKELETON KEY!  Is there some deep dark, 
unmentionable secret as to why DICK BRAINY has been sent to the Dark Arena?   2-0-1 
isn't so shabby!  Like a tattered, worn-out, faded, out-of-fashion garment cast out 
to rot, CYANIDE of PURE POISON has been summarily sent to the Dark Arena.  
Congratulations, STROKE BROKER.  The manager of CARNIVAL should have sent PERFECT 
PARRI to the Dark Arena for having a 6-9-0 long ago.  Justice was served as 
STRYCHNINE fought WOLVERINE in bloodfeud.  Well done, PURE POISON!  Ask not a 
spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an 
unconscious stupor.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As the seasons change, and the creatures 
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  Do not 
despair!  I shall return!-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850      13   9  0   108       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HONEY BEAR 3032              22  14  0   134       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 100% COLUMBIAN 4874          13   7  2   115       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 STRAW FIRE 4350              14   8  0   106       LAND OF OZ (217)
 NEEVA 3670                   14   7  1   103       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 101 PROOF!! 4495             18  14  0   100       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SUGAR CUBE 4617              16  12  0    95       COFFEE RULES! (505)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPAWN 4283                    9   6  0    94       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 FRANC N' STEEN 4649          18   7  0    93       CARNIVAL (411)
 UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703         14   9  1    92       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          14  11  0    92       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 ACE BAILEY 4948               9   8  0    91       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAULA BONES 4414             14   5  1    90       SKELETON KEY (493)
 KALYPSO 3603                 14   8  0    81       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 CUP OF CAT 4926              11   8  0    80       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816      17   6  0    79       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 BELANNA TORRES 4898           9  11  0    77       THE FEDERATION (539)
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            16  27  0    75       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 BEARFOOT 4875                11  10  0    75       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975         12   2  0    71       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 KIRA NERYS 4941               9   6  1    70       THE FEDERATION (539)
-SEKA 4612                    11  13  0    68       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 RAINBOW 4553                  9   7  0    68       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COURAGE 4552                  8   6  1    66       LAND OF OZ (217)
 LATTE 4667                   16  10  0    64       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         10   5  0    64       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-LAYTON 5098                   7   3  1    63       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
-GREGOLA 5101                 17   9  0    60       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 NEDDIE OGIL 4663             12  15  0    60       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-THE FISHER KING 5104         14  12  1    59       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 FRUSTRATION 5067              6   1  0    58       MY DAY (557)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896          9  11  0    55       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 STROKE BROKER 5094            5   2  1    55       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 SEVEN OF NINE 4940            8   7  0    51       THE FEDERATION (539)
 KING CRAB 4983                7   6  0    51       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BEAR NEKKID 5126              5   0  0    50       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561         9   6  0    49       SKELETON KEY (493)
 BOMBAY 5043                   7   2  0    47       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 LARA CROFT 4980               6   5  1    46       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 ARSENIC 4285                  4   8  1    43       PURE POISON (478)
-JENNA 5099                    7   3  3    41       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 BEAR ACUDA 4995               5   6  0    41       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 STRYCHNINE 4838               9   4  0    39       PURE POISON (478)
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113        5   1  0    39       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 CRABBS 5093                   5   2  0    36       CARNIVAL (411)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MASS STUPIDITY 5068           7   0  0    32       MY DAY (557)
 IVAN POISY 5112               4   2  0    30       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 MAYHEM 5066                   3   4  0    28       MY DAY (557)
 HENBANE 4289                  4  10  0    26       PURE POISON (478)
 TEN C-0 METER 5141            3   0  0    26       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BUFFY 5086                    3   2  0    26       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 HOURGLASS 5127                3   1  0    26       LAND OF OZ (217)
 DABO GIRL 5023                4   5  0    25       THE FEDERATION (539)
 HUGR 5170                     2   0  1    25       THE JESUITS (524)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARNAGE 5069                  2   5  0    23       MY DAY (557)
-NEER BEAR 5073                2   0  0    23       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 WOLVERINE 4279                3  12  1    22       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            2   0  0    21       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            3  11  0    20       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095           5   2  2    19       SPOONERTIKS (523)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOTHER THERESA 5136           1   0  0    19       OLD HABITS (566)
 JEAN-LUC DELPECH 5089         3   2  0    16       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 TONYA PHARDING 4924           3   2  0    16       SKELETON KEY (493)
 THE PUNISHER 5172             2   0  1    16       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 WYRD 5167                     2   0  0    16       THE JESUITS (524)
 GET THE POINT? 5097           2   3  0    15       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137        1   0  0    15       OLD HABITS (566)
 LUNIEA MILAND 5147            2   1  0    14       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 SAMANTHA THE WITCH 5128       1   1  0    14       SCREEN DREAMS (488)
 DISIR 5168                    2   0  0    11       THE JESUITS (524)
 RAGNAROK 5169                 2   0  0    10       THE JESUITS (524)
 BRONS 5150                    1   0  0    10       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 SIR GAWAIN 5149               1   0  0    10       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 NAKAMURI 5180                 1   0  0     9       EXALTED PATH (565)
 NETTLES 5131                  2   2  0     8       CARNIVAL (411)
 PAUL BEARER 5187              1   0  0     7       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 YOHAN GENE 5165               0   1  0     7       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 BUMP 5177                     1   0  0     6       KWANKAS (571)
 HUMBLE PIE 5188               1   0  0     6       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 PING KIN 5174                 1   1  0     5       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148              1   0  0     5       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 JEN HADAR 5181                1   0  0     5       THE FEDERATION (539)
-HEX ON THE LEACH 5072         0   1  0     5       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 NICOLAS ANDRE 5166            0   1  0     5       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 GALDR 5171                    1   1  0     4       THE JESUITS (524)
-THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       1   1  0     4       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 CURARE 5132                   0   3  0     3       PURE POISON (478)
 DAREDEVIL 5173                0   2  0     2       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 ROLLO'S GIRL 5164             0   2  0     2       CARNIVAL (411)
 SINISTER 5123                 0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 PENTACLE SILK 5122            0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 KIA 5125                      0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 DAJA LUST 5121                0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              0   1  0     1       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 WASTED EFFORT 5153            0   1  0     1       MY DAY (557)
 CHUMP 5175                    0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 JOHN 5178                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
-PUDWEISER 5074                0   1  0     1       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 DUMP 5179                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 KUMP 5176                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DELARUE 5091           2  1 0 BORDEAUX - SAINTE 561 AXE 4551              205         
PERFECT PARRI 4967     6 10 0 CARNIVAL 411          STROKE BROKER 5094    207         
WITCHY WOMAN 4418      3  6 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   207 NONE    
SMURF NINJA 4507       3  3 1 DARQUE FORCES 396     ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   207 NONE    
ATLAS 4931             1  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     BLACK ORC 20          207 NONE    
VALLET 4963            6  6 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    LARA CROFT 4980       203 REVENGED
QUICKSILVER 5029       3  2 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    ARSENIC 4285          203 REVENGED
ARTIC PROPHECY 5124    0  2 0 EXALTED PATH 565      THE PUNISHER 5172     206         
EZRI-DAX 5140          1  1 0 THE FEDERATION 539    HUGR 5170             206         
AXE 4551               8  7 1 LAND OF OZ 217        BLACK ORC 20          207 NONE    
BROOMSTICK 4474        8  8 0 LAND OF OZ 217        100% COLUMBIAN 4874   203 NOT REVE
JEM KATOREH 4499      18 22 1 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703  204         
MUDDY BLARIE 5071      0  2 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095   206         
MORNING COFFEE 5134    0  1 0 OLD HABITS 566        SPYMASTER 22          207 NONE    
MARRIAGE 5138          0  1 0 OLD HABITS 566        ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   207 NONE    
CHAIN SMOKER 5135      0  1 0 OLD HABITS 566        HIGH ELF 19           207 NONE    
CYANIDE 4286           2 12 1 PURE POISON 478       HIGH ELF 19           207 NONE    
OPIUM 4287             5  5 0 PURE POISON 478       WOLVERINE 4279        203 JUST REV
DICK BRAINY 4936       2  1 1 SKELETON KEY 493      ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   207 NONE    

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MALVODIPHILE 4949      0  2 0 SKELETON KEY 493      ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   207 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

31, Mr. Coffee -- No, four awards, while super great, are not the epitome.  In this
arena (and others) several of the Managers here have multiple 5 awards, and a few
have achieved 6 on rare and exciting occasions. -- Oz The All-Knowing

Abyssinian Kat -- And a fine "meow" to you, great feline. -- Oz The All-Friendly

All -- Our good friend and warrior, Axe, a 13-10-15-15-8-12-11 basher who was "hosed"
in both damage and attack, while bonused in nothing, has chosen to brave the unlit
arena.  We salute his ultimate sacrifice, and we will miss his presence.  To Axe
........! -- Oz The All-Sorrowful

Spawn -- Thank you, kind Sir.  May your bucket, however, always be filled with holes.
-- Straw Fire (the ever burning)

Carny -- Thank you for the congratulations on Straw Fire.  I must admit that your
humor continues to be the very best. -- Oz The All-Appreciative (and still chuckling)

Turf War Team Hopefuls -- I would presume I heard from each of you in the next
personals--Crip, Slugbait, Soultaker, Mannequin--and if not I will try to broker the
"fellowship" at the Face.  May I suggest as a title The Fellowship of SCOMS? -- Oz
The All-Facilitating

One Hit Wonder -- I don't think I have ever done so well on my normal strategy.  You 
caught me at my very best, and possibly luckiest.  Salute! -- Straw Fire

Parri The Perfect -- You were.  I wasn't.  I am far from close. -- Axe

Bombay -- Why thank you.  A TV challenge?  To poor old me?  I must admit that I
thoroughly enjoyed the colorful ending--such a plethora of rainbow colors!  Now we
know something, Pal.  Now we know. -- Rainbow

All -- Happy Valentine's Day to all my guys out there in North Fork. -- Hourglass

Incredible Hulk -- You are the man!  The WWF needs it's very best back! -- Your fan,
Courage

Jean-Luc Delpech -- What a great battle!  You proved your mettle, Sir.  I have little
doubt that we will meet again many times as we rise to the top.  Let's make that a
date, you hunk. (wink) -- Hourglass

All -- A newly corrected personal is now added to DECLARE that THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE
SCOMSS will enter the Turf War together.  Slugbait, Crip, Oz, Mannequin, Soultaker,
and Spawn are all proud. -- Oz The Successful Facilitator

Asmo -- It is my intention to join the upcoming turf war.  I will fight for Vendetta
Cartel.  Team will be Sretsamleud. -- Phat Phat

Spawn -- Just looking at the NL and saw Stroke Broker.  I hope he has better luck
than my Broke Stroker.  He died after killing a WS on his 1 win.  First 2 BF won
against 36 FE showing ST with only 7.5 FE.  He was 13-3-8-21-15-9-15 ST.  Good luck
and hope to see you on the sands. -- Phat Phat

Asmo Duis (& all) -- In addendum to the Team Spotlight above, I also recognize Phat-
Phat as manager of the Cartel team, "Sretsamleud".  We're happy to have his
backwardness amongst us.  In addition, I'm declaring the warrior, "Paul Bearer" as
champion of The Bear's Paw.  May he bring many, many points into our fold. -- the
Esemais of Gniws, Kat

Mr. Coffee -- Here's pulling for your victory in Swamp Jeopardy.  If for no other
reason then to spare us from Carny's undecipherable victory speech, for I cannot take
the abuse much longer. -- The Himalayan of Hope, Kat

Crip; Mighty MC of the Swampvivor and Swamp Jeopardy Competitions, vast amounts of
kudos and great love are sent your way.  Congratulations on pulling off one of the
most enjoyable "home-grown" competitions our arena has seen.  It was nice keeping one
within the boundaries of our normal teams.  Very nicely done. -- The Calico of
Compliment, Kat

Carny -- Don't have any hard feelings!  With any amount of luck, you'll close the
11,400,523 point gap and steal the lead from us. -- the Nose-Twitching Kitty of,
"Not-in-this-lifetime", Kat

Spawn -- Nice article! -- Kat

Straw Fire -- All honors to the new Duelmaster of the Swamp!  Nicely played.  As the
leader of the Challenger Champs, Honey polished up his armor and issued a special
invitation.  You'll hopefully understand the motivation. -- The Bobtailed Brother-in-
Arms, Kat

Speaking of Honey -- 101Proof! -- Apparently not even your potent-ness can send him
under the table, something I was surprised to see. -- Kat

Neddie, Neddie, Neddie Ogil -- I can understand Rondor being bedazzled by the Bear
Nekkidness, but you?  That was MOST unexpected.  I am most gracious for the lessons
learned, thank you! -- The Fascinated Feline, Kat

Oz -- No worries on Delarue, though he WAS going to be my champion for the upcoming
Turf War....  Thanks for the kinds words and condolences.  We will bloodfeud, but I'm
not sure how effective we'll be. -- Dr. Mabuse, Bordeaux-Saintes
P.S.  Oh yeah, of course our teams will fight a lot--we travel in the same circles!
I'm optimistic things will even out eventually...D.M.

Asmo -- You ought to have our RU certificate by now.  Let us know ASAP if there are
any further problems.  RSI told us that it was being mailed to you on 12/2/03. --
Bordeaux-Saintes

Goat -- We VC will be here in force.  Expect an announcement soon (this turn?)
regarding our fearless leader (I don't want to steal his thunder!). -- Dr. Mabuse
P.S.  I haven't heard from CFH.  Here's hoping he pops up around here. -- D.M.

Stroke B. -- Nope.  Not soft at all.  Nobody ever said I was smart though either. --
Jean-Luc

Asmo -- I may enter the turf war but don't know which alliance yet.  Fascist Fed just
seems to lack someone with the time to run it so I will post next newsletter and let
you know.  It will be a new team though.  The Dreams will be transferring after this
turn. -- Fizban

OP 31 -- Your last diplo, you know the one on how to build that type of warrior.  As
you can see it worked!  Thanks.  There was a misprint in that last p-ad.  It was Merc
Warriors.  My writing...awaiting your bloodfeud.  Have you decided what alliance you
would like to fight with yet.  Maybe that Karismatic Kat would declare you for the
Strong Arm Senate.  Good luck. -- Goat

Curare -- What happened?  You had me!  You have to like them feints and dodges.
Until next time. -- Disir the Dodger

DareDevil -- Thank you.  You don't know how good I feel.  The knowledge that was
obtained will probably save my life in the future.  By the way I used to know a She
Devil, any relation? -- Galor

Rollo's Girl -- Don't you just hate all that plate?  Would you like to have a drink?
Come on over. -- Ragnarock

Flex on the Beach -- Good fight.  I guess working out does help.  I am usually doing
brain work.  Too much iron for me.  Hope to see you again. -- Wyrd

Asmo Dius (Jason The Man) -- If you receive a certs for 6 roll-ups from RSI and it is
unmarked, that is the formal entry for The Fellowship of the SCOMSS 6 teams listed
elsewhere in the personals.

Knights Templar -- Welcome to the swamp. -- Mr. Coffee

Carny -- Way to go on team on the move.  Good luck in the competition. -- Mr. Coffee

Spawn -- Great article on a great style. -- Mr. Coffee

Crip -- Thanks for the great competition.  Run another one soon. -- Mr. Coffee

Oz -- Nice Duelmaster's Column.  North Fork is a great arena! -- Mr. Coffee

Oz the organizer -- Does that mean that you are "in" the Turf War? -- Mr. Coffee

Oz -- I too support an environment of interaction and full teams competing. -- Mr.
Coffee
P.S.  I also support people drinking more coffee!

Kat -- No, my middle name isn't Sapphire.  It's just BOMBAY. -- Bombay

Spawn -- I feel like all of the North Fork is convinced I'll win.  Truly I'm glad
just to have been able to offer the great managers of North Fork a good competitive
effort from my warriors. -- Mr. Coffee

Crip -- Yes, like Spawn suggested.  Run another contest in the future.  Count me in.
-- Mr. Coffee

Jorja -- How about some help in January being my proxy and mailing my results? -- Mr.
Coffee

Punisher and Fantastic Five -- Congratulations on killing Artic Prophecy; he deserved
death anyway.  Anyone on my team who gets two losses back to back will be sent to the
Dark Arena.  But Punisher do not become comfortable because you and the rest of you
Fantastic Five comic book rejects will be destroyed.  I promise. -- Azrael Path,
manager of Exalted Path

This is to announce my team and champion for the upcoming Turf War.  I will be
representing the Vendetta Cartel with my team LIFE'S LESSONS and my champion will be
GREGOLA.  Thank you to our gracious host and to all good luck, excepting of course
against my brethren. -- Street Legal

Mr Coffee -- Two TV's and three 0-2's from your team in the same tourney.  That
deserves both congratulations and commiseration.  A champions TV is an impressive
achievement, but I think those 0-2's could cost you the kontest though! -- Spawn the
beaten into third

UR Brain on Egg -- Hoped you might not be expecting me, with all those clowns to the
left and jokers to the right I managed to slip through into the middle with you,
thanks! -- Tent I.Q.

Crip -- Typical...first time I go for a team spot 'bonus' is the turn I got
eliminated from your kontest.  S'pose I deserved nothing less following an inactive
turn!  Seems as though your 'imaginative' scoring system works!! -- Spawn the
eliminated

Strychnine -- Clearly my poison is not enough to compete with yours! -- Ivan Poisy

Asmo Dius -- I'll be throwing my hat in for your Turf war, joining up with the SCOMMS
alliance.  Now, GIT ORF MOY LAND! -- Spawn the sending a roll-up cert via diplo

King Crab -- My boss was the crabby one when he saw that match-up!  Surprised I got
as close as I did! -- Stroke Broker

Mixed-Up Mixers -- You really do seem to be cursed against my guys, don't you!
*sigh*  I was hoping to DA Mutus as soon as I was out of the kontest, but will fight
him this turn and next (if you haven't already successfully feuded) to give you the
opportunity to avenge your loss.  This time, please, don't send anyone else who might
die...Mutus is nothing more than a brute don't you know! -- Spawn the jinx

Asmo, Turf War:  Bordeaux -- Saintes Champion shall be..........wait for it..........
Yohan Gene!! -- Dr. Mabuse, Bordeaux -- Saintes

Kira Nerys -- It wasn't injuries that caused me to wake up disoriented, it was the
major intellectual drain of teaching six skills in one minute.  That's HARD work. --
Folmor Grigg

Nettles -- Remind me not to grasp you, firmly or otherwise. -- Luniea Miland

Bear Nekkid -- I don't always teach that well, so don't count on it next time! --
Neddie Ogil

Mass Stupidity -- Is that why you didn't learn anything when the rest of my teammates
were going flat-out in the teaching line? -- Rondol Quiglo

Kat, the Gato of Gastronomy -- Well, depending on your tastes.  For some of us, home
is where the liver is. -- Neddie Ogil
P.S.  With onions.

Kat, the Tortoiseshell Tango-Dancer -- Anyone would be bedazzled by Bear Nekkid.
What did you use, floor wax? -- Rondol Quiglo

All/Asmo -- I formally announce that the "My Day" stable will compete in the Turf War
as part of the Vendetta Cartel, led by the ferocious furry feline fellow, Kat.
Champion is Carnage. Certificate should be there by now. -- Slaughter Priest
P.S.  Enjoyment and fortune to all the participants!  Cartellians, confusion to our
enemies!

Crip -- Great contest!  Thanks. -- Slugbait

Oz -- Trust me, Crip is not faltering. -- Slugbait

Oz -- A big thank you for all the help at the FTF. -- Slugbait

Tent -- Evil little challenge.  Well done. -- UR Egg

Jorja -- Kira wanted to thank you and Folmor Grigg for those 6 skills.  She wanted to
share, but, you'll have to admit, 6 is such a balanced number. -- 31

Mr. Coffee -- The Borg says she knows 2 of 5, funny you should mentioned her. -- 31

Goat -- C.F.H. must be in hell, right? -- 31

Lil Scotty -- A mere warrior is bloodfeuding your Hugr.  Gotta watch those typos;
they can prove deadly. -- 31

Asmo -- Alliance still undecided.  I am going to declare/play/etc rollup incl. this
turn. -- The Federation

N. Fork -- According to our records our 1st place 55 point gain Teams on the Hurtling
Move was an all time world record. -- Carny

Mighty Sore -- Congrats on the "Call of the Isle." -- Carny

Straw Fire -- Congrats on being the DM.  You seem a perfectly fine DM and we find no
reason to remove you. -- Carny

Knights Templar -- A very fine arrival and unbeaten. -- Carny, Carnival

Sugar Cube -- Wrong weapon for you.  The ultra modern view is a medium shield. --
Franc N' Steen

Dabo Girl -- A noble try. -- Crabbs

Lunica Midland -- Very odd.  You were on the "verge" of shock.  Yet you were not
carrying a verge. -- Nettles

Axe -- Be proud!  You did well to last so long against perfection. -- Perfect Parri

Ragnarok -- An interesting round. -- Rollo's

10 January 2004
ZalCon2 Updates (1/9/04)

     The contest will be starting on the turn due February 23rd, 2004 and run for 20
turns.
     Only one team will be allowed for each manager in the contest, regardless of
whether additional teams are announced as contest entries.  No exceptions for any
reason.
     The Style Master points should read that there is +1 point for beating a member
of your own style even if the warrior is not registered for the contest.
     Rolling points for consecutive turns as Style Master means that your warrior
gets the extra point every turn after the first 3 that he continues to hold the
title.
     The points for Quality Wins should be clarified to read the winning warrior is
ranked below by the number of recognition points needed for each bonus point at the
start of the fight.  For example, Warrior A (3-2-0, 17) beats Warrior B (4-1-0, 35)
and receives 2 bonus points under Quality Win for the 18 point difference in the
ranking.
     I believe that is all the clarifications for the moment, please feel free to
email, diplo, call or write me with any other questions or concerns about the
contest.
          Robert Occhipinti aka Zalgor Prigg

10 January 2004
                *     *     *  Third Annual Turf War  *     *      *

     Come one and all to DM 47 (North Fork) for the Third Annual Turf War!  Rules of
the contest will be posted in Turn #208's newsletter (due date Feb. 23).  The contest
will begin on Turn #209 (due date March 22).
     So, get a team there and register!  To register, you must send me a donation of
one (1) rollup CERTIFICATE.  Then, declare your alliance and team in the North Fork

personals.  You may also declare a warrior as champion, and that warrior will earn
(or lose!) double points in the contest!
     Roll-up certs will be *ALL* awarded as prizes, in addition to:

*** Highest Scoring Alliance -- Gets to Rename DM 47 for 6 months!
*** Most returns from DA (Alliance) -- Rename DA monsters for 6 months!
*** Most listings as "Style Masters" (Alliance) -- Pick arena to host the April "05
    Grand Tournament!
*** Warrior with the most awards -- Arenamaster named after him for 6 months!
*** Alliance with the most awards -- Pick the slow arena for TW 4!
*** Team with most "Style Master" listings -- Discover favorites of one warrior on
    team!
*** Warrior with most "Style Master" listings -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns!
    (I'll transfer $7.50 to the manager's account)
*** Alliance with the most kills -- Rename the stand-ins for 6 months!
*** Highest scoring Warrior -- Fights at my expense for 5 turns.  (I'll transfer
    $7.50 to their manager's account.)

     The contest will run for 10 turns, with the winners announced on turn #220.  See
the Turn #208 North Fork newsletter for complete rules and scoring system!  Direct
"declarations" to:  A.D. in the personals, and prize pot entry donations to:
                      Jason Mazuch HSP H-2
                      P.O. Box 339 #924385
                      Sparta, GA  31087-0339
     By snail mail or diplo through RSI.
               Bloody Sands!
                    Asmo Dius, TCB

16 January 2004
                                    CHAOTIC WINDS
     Once, long ago, the four Winds of Time descended upon Alastari like a TEMPEST of
epic proportions, they slew everything within their all-encompassing reach.  They
left nothing.  In their wake lay smoldering ruins.
     In their haste they sped towards the center of this great land like a colossal
giant would step across an ocean.  The four storms picked up momentum on their way
towards each other.  A collision was eminent.
     The first storm wind, the oldest and wisest of the four was named APEXALUS.  The
second, FLAGGSTAFF, was the quickest and loudest entity ever created.  The third Wind
of Time was MATRIATIN, neither old or young, quick or slow, but fierce and feisty all
the same.  The forth wind, ASSAMITHIUS, the youngest yet most creative in its means
of destruction.
     When finally they merged at the center of ALASTARI, an incredible destructive
explosion occurred.  And when the smoke and debris cleared they were one.  CHAOS was
born.
     And Chaos spread across the diminished lands reeking havoc and doom with its
passing, and destroying allover again that which already lay in ruin.

F E A R    C H A O S    I N C.
M A T R I X

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

AXE was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DICK BRAINY was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
WITCHY WOMAN was murdered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
SMURF NINJA was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
CYANIDE was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
MALVODIPHILE was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
ATLAS was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 3 minute Dark Arena match.
MORNING COFFEE was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena melee.
MARRIAGE was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
CHAIN SMOKER was assassinated by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
STRYCHNINE won victory over WOLVERINE in a slow 5 minute Bloodfeud fight.
SINISTER was overpowered by THE PUNISHER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
BOMBAY defeated KING CRAB in a tiresome 6 minute bloody Challenge match.
BLACK JACK SHELACK overcame STRAW FIRE in a 4 minute Challenge Title contest.
FRANC N' STEEN was outlasted by HONEY BEAR in a 22 minute master's Challenge conflict.
ACE BAILEY won victory over CUP OF CAT in a 3 minute master's Challenge bout.
DEEP FRIED LARD was outwaited by SPAWN in a 7 minute veteran's Challenge fray.
CRABBS was devastated by NEDDIE OGIL in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
STROKE BROKER murdered PERFECT PARRI in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.
LARA CROFT was overpowered by BEARFOOT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
BEAR ACUDA was defeated by RAINBOW in a exciting 5 minute Challenge duel.
SEVEN OF NINE was beaten by INCREDIBLE HULK in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge fray.
MASS STUPIDITY overcame DABO GIRL in a 3 minute Challenge contest.
BUFFY defeated RONDOL QUIGLO in a popular 4 minute Challenge match.
SAMANTHA THE WITCH was overpowered by MAYHEM in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
HOURGLASS savagely defeated JEAN-LUC DELPECH in a 5 minute gory Challenge duel.
KIA was overpowered by LUNIEA MILAND in a 2 minute brutal uneven Challenge match.
ART PENDRAGON won victory over HENBANE in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
TEN C-0 METER handily defeated PING KIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DAREDEVIL was defeated by DISIR in a 2 minute gruesome beginner's Challenge fight.
SUGAR CUBE savagely defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 3 minute gory veteran's match.
TENT IN QUARANTINO was overpowered by NEEVA in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
100% COLUMBIAN savagely defeated KALYPSO in a crowd pleasing 3 minute veteran's fray.
101 PROOF!! defeated BELANNA TORRES in a 2 minute struggle.
PAULA BONES demolished KIRA NERYS in a 1 minute mismatched match.
FOLMOR GRIGG was overpowered by UR BRAIN ON EGG in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LATTE was outlasted by FRUSTRATION in a unpopular 16 minute brutal match.
OSLOBEN BENBOBEN was vanquished by COURAGE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
QUEEN OF DENIAL slimly won victory over ARSENIC in a 2 minute bout.
BEAR NEKKID handily defeated CARNAGE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
LEVIATHAN OF LARD vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute brutal one-sided match.
IVAN POISY vanquished GALDR in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
GET THE POINT? was demolished by HUGR in a 1 minute uneven conflict.
MUTUS BRAXIMUS overcame DAJA LUST in a 2 minute fight.
PENTACLE SILK was devastated by WYRD in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
NETTLES was handily defeated by MOTHER THERESA in a 1 minute gory one-sided match.
CURARE was subdued by HUMBLE PIE in a 1 minute beginner's fight.
TONYA PHARDING overpowered YOHAN GENE in a 4 minute uneven bout.
ROLLO'S GIRL was savagely defeated by PAUL BEARER in a 1 minute competition.
RAGNAROK unbelievably bested CHUMP in a exciting 1 minute gory novice's bout.
NICOLAS ANDRE was overpowered by SIR GAWAIN in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SISTER MARY SARAH handily defeated JOHN in a 3 minute mismatched match.
WASTED EFFORT was subdued by BUMP in a popular 3 minute bloody amateur's battle.
AHURA MAZDA was luckily beaten by JEN HADAR in a 7 minute amateur's battle.
BRONS overpowered KUMP in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SIR GALAHAD unbelievably bested DUMP in a 4 minute bloody novice's fight.
NAKAMURI overcame PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a tiresome 3 minute novice's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  23         TOTAL PARRY       66 -  38 -  0      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   16         WALL OF STEEL     71 -  47 -  1      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     13         STRIKING ATTACK   55 -  48 -  6      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         LUNGING ATTACK    79 -  82 -  6      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  10         AIMED BLOW        18 -  23 -  0      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  18 -  1      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         BASHING ATTACK    43 -  56 -  3      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   16 -  28 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  19 -  1      30  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -  22 -  0      24  |

Turn 207 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        9 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  5         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      9 -  7     LUNGING ATTACK     9 - 14         3  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  5     AIMED BLOW         2 -  4         3  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  5     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  3         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3     
                              PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850    13   9  0  108 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
TOTAL PARRY      HONEY BEAR 3032            22  14  0  134 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
WALL OF STEEL    101 PROOF!! 4495           18  14  0  100 COFFEE RULES! (505)
STRIKING ATTACK  UR BRAIN ON EGG 4703       14   9  1   92 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
AIMED BLOW       PAULA BONES 4414           14   5  1   90 SKELETON KEY (493)
SLASHING ATTACK  COURAGE 4552                8   6  1   66 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    BEAR NEKKID 5126            5   0  0   50 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
PARRY-LUNGE      LARA CROFT 4980             6   5  1   46 SCREEN DREAMS (488)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is 100% COLUMBIAN 4874.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The ten other most popular fighters were BEAR ACUDA 4995, 
100% COLUMBIAN 4874, STRAW FIRE 4350, BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850, BUFFY 5086, CUP OF CAT 
4926, WASTED EFFORT 5153, BUMP 5177, BEARFOOT 4875, and SEVEN OF NINE 4940.

The least popular fighter this week was HONEY BEAR 3032.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FRANC N' STEEN 4649, FRUSTRATION 5067, LATTE 4667, DEEP FRIED LARD 
4975, BOMBAY 5043, SPAWN 4283, KING CRAB 4983, WOLVERINE 4279, NAKAMURI 5180, and 
STRYCHNINE 4838.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

STRAW FIRE (47-4350) LAND OF OZ (217)