Date   : 02/24/2004    Duedate: 03/22/2004


DM-47    TURN-209

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-3032) [24-14-0,146]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HONEY BEAR                     FRUSTRATION
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)           MY DAY (557)
(47-3032) [24-14-0,146]        (47-5067) [8-1-0,72]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

100% COLUMBIAN                 AHURA MAZDA
COFFEE RULES! (505)            KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
(47-4874) [14-8-2,101]         (47-5152) [0-3-0,3]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)        68
2. LIFE'S LESSONS (562)        58      DREAM TEAMS (578)
3. HOME GUARD (402)            47      Unchartered Team
4. ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)       42
5. LAND OF OZ (217)            39      ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 DREAM TEAMS (578)         20  10  1 66.7   1/ 3 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     12  3 3
 2/ 1 SPOONERTIKS (523)         82  42  6 66.1   2/ 5 COFFEE RULES! (505)      11  4 0
 3/18*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)      9   5  3 64.3   3/ 7 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  5 0
 4/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   221 131 17 62.8   4/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)         8  7 1
 5/ 3 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      81  54  5 60.0   5/ 4*MY DAY (557)              8  7 0
 6/ 0*STRETSAMLEUD (575)         3   2  0 60.0   6- 1 THE JESUITS (524)         7  3 2
 7/ 5*MY DAY (557)              25  17  0 59.5   7/19*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     7  3 2
 8/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)         384 267 12 59.0   8/ 8 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    7  5 0
 9/ 7 COFFEE RULES! (505)       95  70  3 57.6   9/ 6 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          7  7 0
10/ 8 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     130  99  4 56.8  10/ 9 PURE POISON (478)         7  8 2
11/ 9 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         552 434 29 56.0  11/13 DARQUE FORCES (396)       7  8 0
12/11 DARQUE FORCES (396)       65  55  3 54.2  12/12*OLD HABITS (566)          6  6 0
13/13 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     278 247 29 53.0  13/15 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    6  9 0
14/12 SKELETON KEY (493)        53  48  2 52.5  14/14*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     6  9 0
15/10*OLD HABITS (566)           6   6  0 50.0  15/11 THE FEDERATION (539)      5 10 0
16/ 0*SECOND BANANAS (573)       2   2  0 50.0  16/17*RAT SALAD (577)           4  6 0
17-14 CARNIVAL (411)           139 146  7 48.8  17/ 0 DREAM TEAMS (578)         3  2 0
18/15 THE FEDERATION (539)      49  58  1 45.8  18/ 0 HOME GUARD (402)          3  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/16*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  12  15  0 44.4  19/ 0*STRETSAMLEUD (575)        3  2 0
20-19 THE JESUITS (524)         45  57 10 44.1  20/21 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      3  3 0
21/17*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)      7   9  0 43.8  21/26 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      3  3 0
22/20*DREWS CREW (546)          13  17  1 43.3  22/24*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)     3  5 0
23/21 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    86 125  2 40.8  23/22*DREWS CREW (546)          3  7 1
24/ 0 HOME GUARD (402)          22  33  2 40.0  24-10 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      3  7 0
25/ 4*RAT SALAD (577)            4   6  0 40.0  25/20 SKELETON KEY (493)        3  7 0
26/ 0*DUR EDHEL (579)            2   3  0 40.0  26/ 0*SECOND BANANAS (573)      2  2 0
27/ 0*KILL @ WILL (581)          2   3  0 40.0  27/ 0*DUR EDHEL (579)           2  3 0
28/22 PURE POISON (478)         30  47  4 39.0  28/ 0*KILL @ WILL (581)         2  3 0
29-23 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      28  51  2 35.4  29/18*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  2  7 0
30/24*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)      5  10  0 33.3  30-23*KWANKAS (571)             1  4 0
31/ 0*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)      4  16  0 20.0  31/25*EXALTED PATH (565)        1  5 0
32-25*KWANKAS (571)              1   4  0 20.0  32-16 CARNIVAL (411)            0  5 0
33/26*EXALTED PATH (565)         1  11  0  8.3  33/ 0*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)     0  5 0
34/27*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)    0   1  0  0.0  34/30*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                     *     *     *  TW 3 (Update) *     *     *

     My mistake, folks...the listing for the Merced Mafia should look like this:

Merced Mafia/ The Mun                    Declared?  Cert?  Verified?
/The Mun/All-Star Nanas/Anje                Y         Y        Y
  /Sub Dude/Dream Team/Campy                Y         Y        Y
  /DJ Nth/10,001 Maniacs/Concrete Readhead  Y         Y        Y
  /Centari/???/                             Y         Y
  /Daehir/???/                              Y

     And...Fizban's cert has been received, though he's not declared yet.
     The prize pot stands as *23* certs as of now, and no, Oz...there have been no
"duplications" as of yet.

                    Bloody Sands!
                         Asmo Dius, TCB

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     "What is that?  I think I see light."
     "You are right, I see it too."
     "Do you think that someone is coming in?"
     "Let's go and see what's going on."
     When they go to the source of the light they were both quite surprised.  Someone
had opened the cave that they had been trapped in so many years ago.
     "The sun is so bright.  Was it always this bright?"
     "Of course it was, you fool.  What do you think, that the sun would go out if we
weren't around?"
     "Well kind of, I mean we did bring a lot of people into the light if you know
what I mean."
     "What is this?"
     There, just outside the Cave was a box with some very interesting things in it.
First was some food, then a map, what appeared to be some tickets, and a note.  The
note read:  "I need your help.  I know that you were put here for a reason, but that
does not matter to me right now.  In the box are some tickets that will get you to
North Fork.  You need to follow the map.  Head north and you will come to the
crossroads.  Go north on the road to Veastian.  Once you are there, the tickets will
get you to North Fork.  I need you to go there and keep your eyes and ears open for
all the news and the happenings that are going on.  I hope that you will use your
special tact in getting your info."
     "So what do you think, should we do it?"
     "Well, I don't think that we can go back to our old homes."
     "No, they were the ones that put us in here."
     "Okay, let's go then."
     Their trip to North Fork was relatively uneventful although they did get stared
at quite a bit.  You know the kind of stare, "I know you but I'm not sure from
     "Well, here we are.  North Fork."
     "Are you sure this is the place; looks like a dump and boy does it smell bad."
     "Well, I heard that there is a swamp nearby."
     "Nearby, I think that we are walking on it."
     "Okay, now that we are here where do we go?"
     "Well, then I guess the first stop is the arena."
     Once they reached the arena and found the office, they started making inquiries
about who was in the Turf Wars III.  They found out some stuff.  Like there is no
manager in this town that was any good.  As a matter of fact, they pretty much all
sucked.  We'll just have to wait and see if any one good shows up.  That so far there
were only four alliances that they announced that they would be in the Turf War.  Who
will win seems to be everyone's question?
     "Not much to say about the crappy Teams, Managers, and Alliances is there?"
     "No not really, but I'm sure that we can come up with something."
     Ok then let's start off with SCOMSS.  I think that this is going to be the
alliance to beat.  They have a lot of experienced members and I would keep an eye on
them.  They can be really tricky.  With such old managers they know all the tricks
and how to get away from them.
     "You are so right.  Most of them have been in North Fork for a really long time.
I am sure that they have some of the local law enforcement and some of the
politicians in their pocket.  I know that they will be calling in some favors during
the Turf Wars.  You just know that they are."
     "Next we have the Vendetta Cartel.  I hear that they will let anyone into their
alliance.  I mean just look at their roster of Managers.  It's the who's who of
nobodies.  Granted I do recognize some of the Managers and a couple have done good in
the past, but the greater number of them are...well let's just leave it at that."
     "The last two alliances, I don't think that we really need to talk about.
Merced Mafia, who are these guys?  I have never heard of any of them.  I don't think
that there is going to be much there.  At least I have heard of all the members of
the Vendetta Cartel, but with this Merced Mafia I just don't know."
     "Beverages, Inc. is just a couple of local boys that are trying to get in on the
action, but shear numbers are against the, so I don't really see them doing much.
What do you think?"
     "I think that you are right, but you never know, and don't forget that there
still might be some more teams that might come into this Turf War.  So things may get
interesting.  Look at it this way, we will have a lot of fun watching all them guys
beating the crap out of each other and we can just laugh."
     "Well I guess that will be all for this month.  After this first turn I'm sure
that we will have more interesting things to talk about.  So goodbye for now."
     "Oh yeah I almost forgot, we never introduced ourselves, did we?"
     "No I don't think that we did."
     "Well I guess we should do that then.  I am Bob the Bard."
     "And I am Eddy the Gimp."
     "See you all on the sands, and if you live up to your potential and I think that
you will, we should all have a good laugh."  That said as they turned and headed for
the hotel.
     So begins the Turf War.  Let the blood and mayhem commence.

            Bob the Bard and Eddy the Gimp

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The North Woods #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

A log cabin near North Fork:

     Captain Zarthynes glanced at Galbadan and almost laughed.  The Shew was
scowling, probably as deeply as he himself had been a moment ago.  The two of them
had been appointed, by Emir Kyreses of Veastian and the ruling council of North Fork,
to be joint commanders of this first mission against the Black Kaliv, and Zarthynes
could see that the Shew liked this partnership no more than he did.  Which actually
made the whole thing seem more manageable.  He could work with a man whose attitude
he understood.  Even if the man was a Shew.
     Zarthynes smiled, a little stiffly, perhaps, but it was a smile, and extended
his hand.  "We can make this work, if we do it together," he said in his careful
Harkanar.  That was the trade dialect used by the Harkene tribes of the area, and he
figured the Shew would know it.  Of course, it was quite likely that Galbadan spoke
Akkadic, as well, but given the current relations between Shews and Karnhorns, that
might be less than tactful.
     Galbadan maintained his scowl for a few seconds, and then his mouth twitched a
little.  He reached out and grasped the Karnhorn's hand.  "Aye, we can.  Nothing like
a common enemy, eh?"  He relaxed and leaned back on his bench.  "What men do you
bring?  I've half a dozen scouts, my own men, and a few gladiators from Murska."
     "A few gladiators," Zarthynes said, "and a small boat...ship, whatever, with a
crew that knows the coast from Amen-Tei to Snowbound.  Emir Kyreses regards this as
primarily a scouting mission, with a heavier expedition to follow when we have more
     "Sensible," the Shew agreed, nodding.  "But they do say that Kyreses is a
sensible man...for a Karnhorn."  He raised his hand to forestall Zarthynes' response.
"Nay, that was unworthy of me.  For now, we're allies."
     Zarthynes took a deep breath, then nodded himself.  "I must remember that, too,"
he muttered.  Seeing the Shew's questioning look, he added, "Some of the gladiators
in my group are...Andorians."  He took another deep breath.  "An ally in time of need
is a true ally.  You know the land between here and Kurukar better than I do, I am
sure.  What would you suggest as the best way to begin?"
     The Shew frowned at the far wall of the cabin, then got up and crossed to the
window.  By the fact that he didn't have to duck his head--he was well over seven
feet tall--Zarthynes knew that this cabin had been built for Shews.  "I hadn't
thought of having a boat in this," Galbadan muttered.  "Not our kind of thing, boats.
But it might be useful...."  He shrugged.  "I don't know how best to work the boat
in.  My suggestion would be to go north through the woods--stay away from the main
road and maybe all the others as well.  Get close to Kurukar and then see what
happens, what openings we find."  He glanced over his shoulder  "I know those woods,
you see.  My scouts know them really well.  But boats...."  He shook his head.  "What
do Shews know of boats?"
     "I will admit that I am not a sailor myself.  Through the woods...yes, that
sounds best," the Karnhorn agreed.  "And the boat can follow along as we move north,
maybe keep watch on the fleet the Black Kaliv sent down to blockade us.  Because if
those ships were to land men to cut off our advance--"
     "Don't want that," the Shew agreed.  He went to the door of the cabin.  "Let's

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #77 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Near Barikala:

     The Golden Moon, Lady Protector Artemisia commanding, was approaching the Urt
Delta from the northeast as the day drew to a close.  Her goal was Zukal, but as soon
as the ship came within sight of land, she would anchor and wait for daylight.  The
maze of channels and islands that formed the delta was not something to attempt at
night.  At least, not now.  A decade ago there had been an intricate network of
beacons that a skilled and familiar pilot could use to reach the city's docks at any
hour, but the invasion from the East had put an end to that.  The defenders had
destroyed the beacons to hamper their foes, and the triumphant invaders of Zukal had
neither the knowledge or desire to restore the system.
     Artemisia's lip curled.  The Easterners called the people of Alastari
barbarians, because many of their cultures were young.  But if the 'civilized' old
cultures of the East didn't--or couldn't--restore safe shipping, who was the true
     The lookout shouted that land was in sight, and Artemisia turned to squint into
the setting sun.  But she was lower than the man on the mast and couldn't see the
dark line of the shore yet.  With a shrug, she turned to look the other way,
searching the sky for a warning of the sudden storms that had given this great lake
its name.  That horizon was clear, also.  She didn't quite trust it, but...the sky
was clear and the wind was steady.  Good enough, for now.
     When she turned to the west again, she could see land herself, the long, dark
hump of Barikala Island, silhouetted against the crimson sky.  The sun vanished from
sight, and its light was replaced by the broad, slightly greenish beam that shot
straight upward from the center of Barikala.  Around her, the sailors moved to place
the ship in a safe position and run out the anchors for the night; her first officer
needed no instructions to handle that.
     That beam of light over Barikala was also new since the invasion, and Artemisia
wished her friend Beag Magda were here.  The Elf understood such things.  Or at least
knew how to think about them, because nobody understood just what that blazing beacon
was...other than dangerous.  No one who had landed on Barikala in the last few years
had returned from there to tell what they'd seen.
     The lookout called down something else that she couldn't hear over the bustling
sounds of sails being lowered and anchor chains creaking off their drums.  One of the
sailors halfway down the mast below him shouted up, got an answer, and came hurrying
     "Koro says there's something coming out through the delta," the sailor reported.
"He isn't sure what, the light's about gone, but it might be a group of canoes.  They
aren't in a main channel, anyway."
     Artemisia glanced to the side.  Her first officer was there, as he should be.
"We may have an attack coming up," she said quietly.
     He nodded and moved off to make sure the crew was ready.
     Artemisia tapped her fingers on the hilt of her cutlass, reviewing
possibilities, then shrugged.  It was useless to speculate without more information,
and dangerous to formulate plans under such circumstances.  She would have to wait
upon events.


     Ghenis glared down into the alley where the last of the soldiers were marching
past.  Nothing had happened.  The dark god he had believed he served had not
responded.  The Ferencian was lying to them all.  But somewhere, he knew, there was
such a dark demongod, and he vowed to find it.  And the Ferencian liar would be the
first sacrifice....
     He withdrew carefully from the roof above the alley.  It would be a good idea to
get out of Zukal for a while.  Out from under that liar Pelishtekan's eye, so that he
could think and lay his plans in relative safety.  Niatoli Island, that's where he
would go.  The false cult already had a 'mission' there, and Cousin Og would be his,
Ghenis's, first recruit.

The Isle of the Eye:

     Beag Magda sat at a small table near the back of the Two Lilies and swirled the
last of the tea in her cup moodily.  She had no fault to find with the Lilies, they
knew her here and always gave her the same table.  And the tea, as usual, was
excellent.  Something was wrong somewhere, but it was less definite--and more
important--than a problem with the service, or a mediocre cup of tea.  She was almost
afraid to look into her cup.
     That was nonsense.  It was only the unknown that should be feared, and once she
read the tea leaves, the problem would not be unknown.  Well, it would not be
completely unknown, but tea leaves were a very imprecise method of diagnosis and
prognostication.  With a little shake, she threw off the dark mood, emptied the last
swallow of tea into the saucer, and peered into the cup at the leaves clinging to its
bottom and sides.
     She could feel the hair trying to rise on the back of her neck.  The leaves
seemed to be swimming in a web of shadows.  The patterns they formed all indicated as
plainly as tea leaves could that something very dark was impending.  But nothing was
clear.  Who was menaced, and by what?  How soon?
     Beag Magda set the cup down very carefully, because her hand was trying to
shake, and laid coins beside it to pay for the tea.  She needed more information, and
she couldn't get it here.


     Lord Protector Ipecac stalked ashore and glared around for someone to share his
outrage.  Anyone who recognized him in time--and Stormcrowe was a small island with a
limited population who generally DID recognize one another--departed hastily.  Lady
Protector Snowfall wasn't quite fast enough.  "Do you know what HAPPENED?" Ipecac
     Looking distinctly queasy, Snowfall shook her head.
     "My ship was ATTACKED," the warrior from Emetics snapped.  He didn't notice when
the shapely woman flinched from his vehemence; people were always doing that around
him.  He stalked closer, dropping his voice for privacy.  "Monsters," he hissed.
"Demons out of the waves.  Half shark, half man, you might say.  Others like kraken.
They were summoned by a dark wizard on a black ship.  We have to do something about
     Snowfall swallowed a couple of times, then said, "Why?  And how?"
     Ipecac raised his eyebrows.  "You want to live on nothing but fish caught in the
harbor?" he asked.  "They could blockade us!  And what if they decide to come ashore
and attack us here on the island?"  He frowned thoughtfully.  "Probably it's part of
some Karnhorn plot, and if we don't nip it in the bud, they'll be all over us,
murdering and enslaving.  Can't have that."
     "No," Snowfall agreed faintly, "we can't have that.  But how do we stop them?"
     "We fight, of course!"  He hesitated, perhaps realizing that such a plan was
lacking in useful details.  "All the ships will have to be armed with...catapults,"
he suggested.  "And...none of them going out alone.  Yes.  And we need to find any
wizards on the island and recruit them to help fight, and more importantly to find
out what we're up against.  That's a beginning."  He nodded firmly.  "We need to
start right away!"
     Snowfall turned quickly to the rail at the edge of the dock and fed the fish her
lunch, then straightened.  "Yes, I can see that.  Wizards, catapults, convoys.  No
time to waste...."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Though I enjoyed my four years in the Vendetta Cartel I am officially turning in
my Captain's bars.  We both move forward, although it seems in different directions.
I leave behind several people whom I still hold in the highest regard:  Master
Darque, Firehawk, Dr. Mabuse, Hammer, Jack Wolfspider and Fizban.  I want to wish
these people good luck and continued success in the arena (but not versus me or my
people!) and with that said:
     I pledge allegiance to the flag of the UNITED states of VENDETTA, and to the
brotherhood for which it stands, one alliance under VENDETTA, indivisible, with
malice and VENDETTAS for all.
     !Long Live vendett@ UNITED!
     The membership of the UNITED consists of Abraxis, Goat, VooDoo and myself CFH.
     Dare you stare at us from the ends of our blades?

        CFH/Rat Salad/vendett@ UNITED

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Last turn's column:

Apologies for no DM column on turn 208, but Royal Flush ran on maintenance as Crip
has been having to dedicate time to real life issues.  Could be similar stories for
the next month or two.

Black Jack Shellack

This turn's column:

     It is sweet on top.  It's been a hard climb but I made it.  I'd like to thank
Horus One Eye for tweaking my design for a couple "extra" skills way back when.
Thanks to all the managers who helped me over the years.  I'll never forget you.
Thanks Asmo for bringing me into DM years ago.  I'm close to my invite so my
challenge goes out to Honey Bear.  Good luck to all in the Turf War.

                    Your Duelmaster, 100% Columbian

                                      SPY REPORT

     You elder fighters surely remember me.  The younger ones may call me Olaf 
Modeen.  I return to NORTH FORK once again!  Bein' on top is great while it lasts, 
THE JESUITS.  But how many friends do you have now?  Who can explain it?  Not you, 
not me, not ALL-STAR NANA'S' opponents, after watching them shoot up the ranks from 
19th to 7th.  It seems so recently people were saying LAND OF OZ was washed up, 
finished.  But 3-1-0 moved them up 4.  I guess they're washed no more...  What's with 
GREGOLA?  She actually beat COFFEE RULES!'s LATTE, and walked away with 25 more 
points from the fight.  Major screwup at SKELETON KEY.  PAULA BONES lost 21 points to 
COURAGE.  Some new strategies, perhaps?  Maybe PAULA BONES will provide more easy 
wins...  NORTH FORK has a Duelmaster who doesn't sit back and get lazy.  She TV 
challenged THE BEAR'S PAW's HONEY BEAR (24-14-0), which should prove (ahem!) 
interesting.  I'm sure NORTH FORK is excited about HONEY BEAR, the new Duelmaster 
from THE BEAR'S PAW.  (remember?)  But when you've seen as many as I have...  I 
suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  How well I know the feeling 
of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of practive, SPOONERTIKS!  The 
bums at COFFEE RULES! couldn't face the challenges from SPOONERTIKS!  No excuse for 
that!  What do people see in LUNIEA MILAND?  Hers 3-2-0?  THE MIDDLE WAY 3 ain't 
talkin', but she's got 11 points.  Fighting is a better craft than farming, KALYPSO, 
but you have to pay your dues.  Being challenged by SUGAR CUBE, 21 points above you, 
is dues.  I have to get this off my chest.  What a low dog, SUGAR CUBE!  She can't 
set herself up in a real match.  I was sorry to see KALYPSO lose.  I hate going to 
the effort of writing about the kind of fights that NEER BEAR gets in.  It fights 
people like WASTED EFFORT, 15 points below.  I thought NEER BEAR showed great skill 
and promise when it defeated WASTED EFFORT.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big 
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  We all knew it had to happen sooner or later.  A warrior can't 
stick around with a 13-16-0, and BEARFOOT easily took care of NEDDIE OGIL.  STROKE 
BROKER, with his forgettable 5-4-1,  was dispatched by BEAR ACUDA in a forgettable 
match.  SPOONERTIKS didn't seem to mind very much.  PAUL BEARER of THE BEAR'S PAW got 
16 points for removing another young punk.  Tough luck, THE MIDDLE WAY 3!  STRYCHNINE 
was plum wore out after BELANNA TORRES pounded 'im silly in a Bloodfeud.  PURE 
POISON'll have to get a little better before going after BELANNA TORRES again!  
HENBANE larned his lesson (FRUSTRATION taught it well), and we right likely won't be 
seein' 'im fight any MY DAY members with the same gusto.  Someone told MUTUS BRAXIMUS 
that MIXED-UP MIXERS never Bloodfeuded, that he'd have an easy kill.  Well, I'm sure 
whoever misled you is right sorry.  Many a warrior has met his fate in a hungover 
stupor.  You young rapscallions, take note!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  The end 
of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Remember--a good 
fighter needs both good skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HONEY BEAR 3032              24  14  0   146       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUGAR CUBE 4617              18  12  0   113       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 NEEVA 3670                   16   7  1   113       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 101 PROOF!! 4495             20  14  0   109       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 100% COLUMBIAN 4874          14   8  2   101       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816      19   6  0    99       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            18  27  0    95       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850      14  10  0    95       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 CAMPY 5227                    9   5  0    95       DREAM TEAMS (578)
-FRANC N' STEEN 4649          18   7  0    93       CARNIVAL (411)
 BELANNA TORRES 4898          11  11  0    93       THE FEDERATION (539)
-CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          14  11  0    92       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 BEARFOOT 4875                12  11  1    91       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COURAGE 4552                  9   7  1    90       LAND OF OZ (217)
-SPAWN 4283                    9   7  0    90       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 GREGOLA 5101                 18   9  0    85       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 KALYPSO 3603                 15   9  0    85       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 CUP OF CAT 4926              11  10  0    84       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 ACE BAILEY 4948               9  10  0    81       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BEAR ACUDA 4995               7   6  1    80       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-RAINBOW 4553                 10   7  0    78       LAND OF OZ (217)
 KIRA NERYS 4941               9   8  1    75       THE FEDERATION (539)
 FRUSTRATION 5067              8   1  0    72       MY DAY (557)
 PAULA BONES 4414             14   6  1    69       SKELETON KEY (493)
 THE FISHER KING 5104         14  13  1    68       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975         13   3  0    68       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LATTE 4667                   16  12  0    66       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 REGGIE 5230                   9   4  1    66       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 BOMBAY 5043                   9   2  0    66       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         10   6  0    60       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 LAYTON 5098                   7   4  1    59       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896         10  12  0    58       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 JENNA 5099                    8   3  3    58       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STRYCHNINE 4838              10   5  1    56       PURE POISON (478)
 KING CRAB 4983                8   7  0    55       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 YURI KARLOMOV 4215            8   1  0    53       HOME GUARD (402)
 ARSENIC 4285                  5   9  1    51       PURE POISON (478)
 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561         9   7  0    50       SKELETON KEY (493)
 MASS STUPIDITY 5068           9   0  0    48       MY DAY (557)
 BEAR NEKKID 5126              6   1  0    48       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113        6   2  0    43       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SHELDON 4111                  3   0  1    42       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 HOURGLASS 5127                5   1  0    37       LAND OF OZ (217)
-CRABBS 5093                   5   2  0    36       CARNIVAL (411)
 IVAN POISY 5112               5   3  0    35       SPOONERTIKS (523)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HENBANE 4289                  5  11  1    33       PURE POISON (478)
 PAUL BEARER 5187              3   0  1    33       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 TARRED MEANY 5115             2   0  0    33       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 DABO GIRL 5023                5   6  0    31       THE FEDERATION (539)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAYHEM 5066                   4   5  0    30       MY DAY (557)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            3   1  0    30       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 PAVEL MOLARI II 3665          5   6  1    26       HOME GUARD (402)
 GET THE POINT? 5097           3   3  0    26       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DREW 4993                     4   2  1    25       DREWS CREW (546)
 TAKALEREIHN II 4260           3   5  1    25       HOME GUARD (402)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            4  12  0    24       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 WITCHCRAZE 5201               2   0  0    24       DARQUE FORCES (396)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095           6   3  2    23       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 JEAN-LUC DELPECH 5089         4   3  0    23       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 NEER BEAR 5073                3   1  0    23       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 TONYA PHARDING 4924           4   2  0    21       SKELETON KEY (493)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137        3   0  0    21       OLD HABITS (566)
-TEN C-0 METER 5141            3   1  0    20       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MOTHER THERESA 5136           2   1  0    20       OLD HABITS (566)
 KATE 4992                     4   2  0    19       DREWS CREW (546)
-DISIR 5168                    3   0  1    19       THE JESUITS (524)
 SAL 5226                      1   0  0    19       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 ANJE 4109                     2   1  0    18       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 FAT-BOY 5221                  2   0  0    18       RAT SALAD (577)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148              2   1  0    18       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 BORIS MARKOV 4540             2   3  0    15       HOME GUARD (402)
 DONAVAN 4112                  2   1  0    15       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 YOHAN GENE 5165               1   2  0    15       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
-RAGNAROK 5169                 3   0  0    13       THE JESUITS (524)
 THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       3   1  0    13       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-THE PUNISHER 5172             2   1  1    13       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-GALDR 5171                    2   1  1    13       THE JESUITS (524)
 MIKE 4110                     1   2  1    13       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 PAVEL MOLARI III 4539         1   4  0    13       HOME GUARD (402)
 BALKI 5193                    1   0  0    13       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PING KIN 5174                 2   2  0    12       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 HUMBUG 5199                   1   1  0    12       LAND OF OZ (217)
 MALONEY 5247                  1   0  1    11       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 ILLIS 5207                    1   0  0    11       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 OSWALD 4991                   2   4  0    10       DREWS CREW (546)
-WYRD 5167                     2   1  0    10       THE JESUITS (524)
 LEWIS 4989                    2   4  0    10       DREWS CREW (546)
 CRASHGHOUL 5202               1   1  0    10       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 GRIZZLE BOC' 5256             1   0  0    10       KILL @ WILL (581)
 TALON KAARDE 5253             1   0  0    10       KILL @ WILL (581)
-HUGR 5170                     2   1  1     9       THE JESUITS (524)
 WARFARIN 5231                 2   0  0     9       PURE POISON (478)
 CURARE 5132                   1   4  0     9       PURE POISON (478)
-NAKAMURI 5180                 1   0  0     9       EXALTED PATH (565)
-NETTLES 5131                  2   2  0     8       CARNIVAL (411)
 JEN HADAR 5181                2   1  0     7       THE FEDERATION (539)
 ELDHWEN 5236                  1   0  0     7       DUR EDHEL (579)
 NORTON 5192                   1   0  0     7       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 NICOLAS ANDRE 5166            0   3  0     7       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 GREEDY 5223                   1   1  0     6       RAT SALAD (577)
-BUMP 5177                     1   0  0     6       KWANKAS (571)
 RODEKI 5208                   1   0  0     6       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 VIDA 5228                     1   0  0     6       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 GROND 5240                    1   0  0     6       DUR EDHEL (579)
 HEX ON THE LEACH 5072         0   2  0     6       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 BRONS 5150                    1   2  0     5       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 SIR GAWAIN 5149               1   2  0     5       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 CORPULENT CORPSE 5250         1   0  0     5       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BONSUR 5210                   1   0  0     5       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 FE MALE 5211                  1   1  0     5       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LISSUIN 5238                  0   1  0     5       DUR EDHEL (579)
 BABY 5224                     1   1  0     4       RAT SALAD (577)
 SISTER MARY ELEPHANT 5219     1   1  0     4       OLD HABITS (566)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              0   3  0     3       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 WASTED EFFORT 5153            0   3  0     3       MY DAY (557)
 SINISTER 5123                 0   3  0     3       EXALTED PATH (565)
-ROLLO'S GIRL 5164             0   2  0     2       CARNIVAL (411)
 PUDWEISER 5074                0   2  0     2       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-PENTACLE SILK 5122            0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
-KIA 5125                      0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 DREW SCRIVER 5200             0   2  0     2       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-DAJA LUST 5121                0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 CURSESHOCK 5234               0   1  0     1       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 SKYWALKER 5255                0   1  0     1       KILL @ WILL (581)
 OSKI 5206                     0   1  0     1       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
-CHUMP 5175                    0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 BURNS 5190                    0   1  0     1       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-JOHN 5178                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 ANGEL HOLIE 5233              0   1  0     1       SKELETON KEY (493)
-DUMP 5179                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 MARA JADE 5252                0   1  0     1       KILL @ WILL (581)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235            0   1  0     1       LAND OF OZ (217)
 VISCIOUSNESS 5251             0   1  0     1       MY DAY (557)
 T'POL 5248                    0   1  0     1       THE FEDERATION (539)
-KUMP 5176                     0   1  0     1       KWANKAS (571)
 HELLUIN 5237                  0   1  0     1       DUR EDHEL (579)
 GALVORN 5239                  0   1  0     1       DUR EDHEL (579)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GOLIATH HAMMER 5060    1  3 0 AVENGER HAMMERZ 556   SPYMASTER 22          209 NONE    
PERFECT PARRI 4967     6 10 0 CARNIVAL 411          STROKE BROKER 5094    207         
FOULBANE 5203          0  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     DISIR 5168            208         
WHATAPUTZ 5246         0  1 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    BANDIT PRINCE 25      209 NONE    
CATFISH 5229           0  1 0 DREAM TEAMS 578       MALONEY 5247          209         
MIMI 4990              1  5 0 DREWS CREW 546        SPYMASTER 22          209 NONE    
ARTIC PROPHECY 5124    0  2 0 EXALTED PATH 565      THE PUNISHER 5172     206         
DAREDEVIL 5173         0  3 0 FANTASTIC FIVE 477    DREW 4993             208         
SEVEN OF NINE 4940     8  8 0 THE FEDERATION 539    STRYCHNINE 4838       208 JUST REV
EZRI-DAX 5140          1  1 0 THE FEDERATION 539    HUGR 5170             206         
BORSCK 5254            0  1 0 KILL @ WILL 581       HIGH ELF 19           209 NONE    
CRAPS CRIP 5194        0  1 0 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM 574 WURM KIN 27           209 NONE    
NEDDIE OGIL 4663      13 16 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  BEARFOOT 4875         209         
LUNIEA MILAND 5147     3  2 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  PAUL BEARER 5187      209         
CARNAGE 5069           2  6 0 MY DAY 557            HENBANE 4289          208 JUST REV
HUMBLE PIE 5188        1  1 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  GALDR 5171            208         
MURDERER 5249          0  1 0 RAT SALAD 577         SPYMASTER 22          209 NONE    
PITY WIN 5222          0  2 0 RAT SALAD 577         MIKE 4110             209         
1210151591211 5189     0  1 0 SECOND BANANAS 573    MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     209 NONE    
VIN MAC-MAN 5232       0  1 0 SKELETON KEY 493      ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   209 NONE    
STROKE BROKER 5094     5  4 1 SPOONERTIKS 523       BEAR ACUDA 4995       209         
I 5209                 0  1 0 STRETSAMLEUD 575      WURM KIN 27           209 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

A.D. -- Received the following Email from Jon regarding the Gift Certificate dated
Monday March 8th:  [Your gift certificate is on its way to Asmo Dius for the Turf
Wars contest, and your DM 47 team has been placed on team maintenance.  The
strategies have been passed along for input.  Have fun!  RSI -- Jon] so hopefully you
will count Avenger Hammerz among the Vendetta Cartel for the opening round of the
Turf War this T-209 cycle.  KAT should be confirming me as a VC contestant.  Living
overseas; travelling from the Philippines back to Qatar; then sorting through my pile
of DM newsletters and contacting the Gladiatorial Commission to confirm my stable for
the Turf War [not to mention Replacing Dead Warriors and Updating Strategies in 3
Arenas!] has been quite an effort, but hopefully worth the reward of participating in
the contests!  Plus writing Team Spotlights by hand at all hours of the day and night
when so moved by the Creative Urge and then typing them to a disk on a friend's
computer and getting them to the Internet Cafe for Emailing.  Look for a short [by my
standard average anyway] Team Spotlight for the Opening Round of the Turf War which
should appear in this issue of the DM 47 newsletter.  Already hand written and ready
to type to a disk.  Thanks in advance for listing Avenger Hammerz under the Vendetta
Cartel banner for the Turf War! -- Hammer

A.D. -- I declare for the Vendetta Cartel for the turf war.  I will name my champion
later; my team will be Managerial Mayhem. -- Fizban

Mr Coffee -- Very nice run in Crip's contest.  Congrats on your Throne also. --

Asmo and TW participants -- I declare Neeva (47-3670) as my Champion. -- Master

*A.D.* -- Please note as a member of SCOMSS I am declaring Second Bananas as my team.
Our champion will be Kramer. -- Mannequin

Oz (The All-Organizing) -- New to this arena?  I had a team in this arena when Reagan
was president and Soultaker had hair!!  The team in question, Lab Experiments, now
resides in Mordant (Crip never wastes an opportunity to remind me that they are
turncoat carpetbaggers). -- Mannequin

Oz (The All-Thankful) -- You are too kind, sir.  It is always an honor to sit at your
table and help you babysit Soultaker. -- Mannequin

the Mun -- It's gonna be great seeing you and the rest of the Merced Mafia in action.
Be advised, we plan on proving on the sands who has the biggest, baddest bananas in
North Fork!  -- Mannequin

*A.D.* -- I will be allying with Bartender and Mr. Coffee in the "Beverages, Inc."
alliance for TW3.  My champion will be Art Pendragon. -- Baphomet, mgr. Knights

Mr. Coffee -- Received your message.  As you can see, I've accepted and am looking
forward to it. -- Baphomet

Bartender -- I think after last turn, I better stay off the booze and stick to
something less prone to bring about negative results.  0-5, sheesh! -- Baphomet

Oz -- Received your diplo.  Response enroute.  Much luck to you! -- Baphomet

A.D. -- I'll be joining 31's Alliance in the upcoming Turf War.  You should get my
entry for this turn.  I don't know what 31 is calling his alliance yet. --
Skullagrim, Skeleton Key

Yohan -- I thought you were the one overdressed. -- Tonya

     These ads from Oz were misfiled and may have missed their proper turn.  Our
     apologies! -- Ed.

The Drakey Rampaging Tree -- Bah, Humbug! -- Humbug

Bearfoot -- Don't you know anything to teach me?  A little color? -- Rainbow
(somewhere over)

Ur Brain On Egg -- I guess a good alliance-mate would have let you win, but I'm
skipping the competition.  Good luck, Lord Protector. -- Straw Fire (now retired)

Wyrd -- I just love you Jesuits.  You know the neatest tricks. (wink) -- Hourglass

Kalypso -- You fought the skillfest fight.  All I had was... -- Courage

The Land Of Oz champion will be the delectable, desirable, sexy and sultry Hourglass.
-- Oz The All-Informing

Bombay Rainbow is too colorful for EVERYONE! -- Oz The All-Knowing

Mr. Coffee -- That is not merely SCOMSS, but "The Fellowship Of The SCOMSS."  We are
going for a record 11 awards! -- Oz the All-Educational

Jean-Luc, Doc, a backup a day keeps the doctor away. -- Oz The All-Clever

the Mun -- Welcome, my old Merced Mafia friends.  Mino sends his regards. -- Oz The

The Fellowship Of The SCOMSS salutes one and all.  Let the Turf War begin.  May the
best fellowship win. -- Oz The All-Excited

All -- I declare the Home Guard for the Vendetta Cartel in the Turf War.  Yuri
Karlomov will be my champion. -- Firehawk

Ace Bailey -- I know you were ill prepared for that one...maybe next time it will be
a fairer match.... -- TIQ

Frustration -- Your name says it all!! -- Stroke B

Art Pendragon -- A brave challenge that almost paid dividends.  I must assume you bit
off a little more than you could chew though. -- Ivan P

Neer Bear -- Shame on you!!  You'll realize why when you see my numbers!  I'm
sticking around to give your boss fair chance to avenge his loss. -- Mutus B

Drew Scriver -- You trying to upset the boss and steal all his future team names???
With the history between our teams is that such a good idea??  Thanks for making me
look good though!! -- Ping Kin

*A.D.* -- Spoonertiks declare Tent In Quarantino as their champion for the war. --

Asmo -- I would like to add another manager to the Merced Mafia.  His manager name
is Daehir and he will be running Duredhel. -- the Mun

Oz The All-Thankful -- I really had fun sitting at the same table as you and
Slugbait, Soultaker and Mannequin.  Also thank you very much for the two dinners;
they were both really good and the company was great.  I just wanted to make a small
correction about my name.  It is not Anthony, it is Andrew.  Good luck in the Turf
Wars. -- the Mun

A.D. -- Announcing the arrival of the "61st Precept" Alliance.  I, Section 31
Operative, will lead with team The Federation; Belanna Forres will be champion.  This
alliance recognizes veteran manager Skullagrim and his team Skeleton Key.  Rollup
certs en route.

Strychnine -- Nice comeback, getting up off your knees and such.  Better take the
summer off though because Belanna has that Pon Far look in her eyes and swears she's
going to kill you to avenge 7 or 9's death. -- 31

From last turn, when I was feeling too crummy to write anything you'd want to hear--

Crabs -- No way! -- Neddie Ogil
P.S.  Note my crab trap (patent pending) which snared you so elegantly, eh?

Buffy -- I don't understand what that stake was for.  And the garlic (phew!). --
Rondol Quiglo

Kia -- Tell me more of your Exalted Path.  I'm always ready to hear about stuff like
that. -- Luniea Miland

Ur Brain On Egg -- You could've left off the tabasco sauce! -- Folmor Grigg, feeling
monstrously ill-used

Kat, the Teasing Tortoishell -- Bear Nekkidness is truly fascinating...in the right
person, preferable one of the same species but opposite gender.  Rondor, pooh!  He
can't appreciate things like that. -- Neddie Ogil

Mr. Coffee -- Alas, your ad got in too late.  But you can always get a proxy (no
strat changes performed) by simply sending your forms to the office and asking for
"anyone on the staff" to proxy for you.  I couldn't have done strat changes myself,
if I'd gotten the request in time (even though I have a soft spot for you, which is
odd because I don't care for coffee), mostly because they kept me busy doing other
stuff.  You know, "Go for donuts."  "We're out of paper."  Stuff like that. -- Jorja

Warrior 31 -- Six is NOT balanced.  It's got threes in it, and threes are always
sharp-angled and awkward. -- Jorja
P.S.  Folmor's just a teaching fool.

Current personals--

Deep Fried Lard -- Deep frying destroys the vitality.  Bad for your health, not to
mention your arena performance. -- Folmor Grigg

Bear Nekkid -- I only attempted to bury you in the sand for modesty's sake. -- Neddie
P.S.  Okay, and to keep that wondrous view to myself....

The Punisher -- Unbroken records are bad for your health.  Worse even than deep
frying. -- Rondor Quiglo

Fe Male -- Basically, you're a second-rate copy. -- Luniea Miland, true female

All/Asmo -- Due to the untimely passing of Carnage, Frustration is now the champion
for the My Day stable.  May you lose to him with painful regularity! -- Slaughter

A.D. -- I would like to declare my team "Kill @ Will" for T.W. III.  We will be
fighting for the newly formed Vendett@ United. -- VooDoo
P.S.  I am sending two certificates.  One is for myself and the other is for CFH.

A.D. -- This is to announce the entry of Vendett@ UNITED into TW III.  I will serve
as leader.  Members include: Abraxis, Goat, VooDoo.  No other confirmation is needed.
You should receive my cert from VooDoo. -- CFH/Rat Salad/Vendett@ UNITED
P.S.  Skullagrim and 31-OP may fight with us, if they desire.

My Day -- Sometimes instead of an easy win we find sudden death...sorry. -- Honbane

Federation -- That fight could have gone either way.  I had no intention of killing
Seven but it happens!! -- Strychnine

Mayhem -- Bad records don't necessarily mean bad fighters.  Good fight!  I'll see you
again soon. -- Arsonic

A.D. -- I declare for SCOMSS. -- Slugbait

Galdr -- Not very nice. -- Pie

One Hit Wonder was 11, 16(17), 7, 12(13), 19(21), 9, 10(11) TP. -- Slugbait

SCOMSS -- I had a great time hanging out with OMSS at the FTF and hope to see SC at a
future Face. -- Slugbait

Asmo -- I would like to announce the entry of the Old Habits into the Turf War.  I am
Father O'Malley and we will be joining the SCOMSS since they are "going my way".  My
champion in this will be Mother Superior.  You will recognize her by the big ruler
she carries. -- Father O'Malley

SCOMSS -- Sorry that I am so far behind but I was polishing "the bells of St. Marys".
I will be giving myself 30 hail Marys to make up for it. -- Father O'Malley

25 February 2004
Readers, and especially those who volunteered warriors -- My apologies for the sudden
lack of episodes.  I've been sick, but expect to be back at the keyboard soon. -- the

3 March 2004

     Mongo, aka Matt McIntosh and ex-Warden of the Dark Circle, is auctioning off his
entire collection of Duelmasters warriors and stables.  Don't miss out on this chance
to own some fantastic warriors!  There are ADM warriors available in every class from
Primus to Freshmen, as well as over a dozen Basic stables.
     Does a Slasher with +4 attack, +4 decisiveness, +3 initiative and +2 riposte
sound good?  How about a Lunger who received the benefit of a TC prize, has TVed
three times after graduating--and still hasn't maxed out his skills!?  How about a
Striker in the Freshmen class who has decisiveness for a favorite learn and the MAUL
for a favorite weapon!?
     Or perhaps you prefer playing in Basic.  Then how does a stable with four Adept
class warriors who have a combined record of 41-19-9 sound?  Or maybe a stable with
three 21-Will warriors?  Or perhaps a stable with four Initiates and a Rookie who
have a combined record of 23-6-1?
     The quality of the lots is excellent.  All you need to view and bid on the lots
is go to:
     If you want to be on the mailing list to receive regular updates on the auction,
just send an e-mail to JVMerlino@aol.com. Merlin, aka John Merlino and also an ex-
Warden of the Dark Circle, will be running this auction for me.  I just moved to New
Orleans and am likely currently stumbling around the French Quarter...because it's
Mardi Gras!  So I have named my auction in honor of this occasion.
     The auction will start on Saturday, March 13th, 2004, and will continue for
several weeks.  But you should get your bids in early if you want your best chance at
owning any of these fantastic warriors and stables.
     Many thanks to all for your interest and your bids,


5 March 2004
Style Masters Symposium
Hosted by Hammer

     The years have slipped by and many DM Managers have come and gone since the last
Hammer's Handbook was compiled and printed.
     There is now a stirring within me to begin writing and editing yet another
Handbook with a distribution date sometime in 2005.
     This Handbook will be made available via Email with a possibility of burning the
info to a CD for distribution.
     Special arrangements will be made to provide the information via printed page to
those contributors who are serving sentences behind bars.
     The working title of this new Handbook is "Style Masters Symposium Hosted by
     Distribution of this Handbook is projected to be MAINLY for those DM Managers
who contribute information/articles to Hammer by June 2004.
     Informative and entertaining articles should focus on insights regarding Any or
All 10 Style Masters for both the Basic and ADM arenas as well as Tourney
     Articles focusing on Weapons/Armor are also encouraged for inclusion.
     Whether you are a Newbie Manager without a clue or a Jaded Veteran; everyone has
discovered something about this gaming experience that is both Insightful and
     Email Your Articles to HammerDM@fastermail.com or send them via Diplo to either
Flower Hammerz (372) in DM 28 or Casino Hammerz (576) in DM 33.
     Length and Content of the Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer will be
Determined by the Quality and Quantity of Contributors Combined with the Literary
Efforts of Hammer who is currently overseas for an indefinite period of time.
     Articles Contributed for this Project should be of Sufficient Length and Content
to Warrant being Included to Receive the Finished Document when Hammer has completed
this literary work to His satisfaction.
     Managers contributing articles are also requested to include a DM Bio of
Themselves along with any Notable Successes and/or Failures during Their DM Career in
Basic, ADM and/or Tourney Play.
     A listing of Active Stables would also be Helpful for Anyone Seeking to Reply to
Contributors via Diplo, Email or Snailmail.
     May Your Blades Be Sharp And Your Wits Sharper!
     -- Hammer of Flower Hammerz (372) DM 28 and Casino Hammerz (576) DM 33

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM

36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MIMI was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
PANTHER HAMMER was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
STINGRAY HAMMER was easily killed by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena match.
GOLIATH HAMMER was assassinated by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BORSCK was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
WHATAPUTZ was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
CRAPS CRIP was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
1210151591211 was unbelievably slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
VIN MAC-MAN was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
MURDERER was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
I was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FRUSTRATION won victory over HENBANE in a 5 minute Bloodfeud fight.
BELANNA TORRES vanquished STRYCHNINE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
TARRED MEANY overpowered MUTUS BRAXIMUS in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud match.
100% COLUMBIAN was luckily beaten by HONEY BEAR in a 5 minute Challenge Title fight.
BOMBAY slimly won victory over LAYTON in a exciting 9 minute brutal Challenge contest.
101 PROOF!! slimly won victory over UR BRAIN ON EGG in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
SUGAR CUBE viciously subdued KALYPSO in a 4 minute master's Challenge bout.
CUP OF CAT was luckily beaten by FOLMOR GRIGG in a 2 minute master's Challenge brawl.
BEARFOOT executed NEDDIE OGIL in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge match.
LATTE was outlasted by GREGOLA in a 7 minute master's Challenge fight.
DABO GIRL was unbelievably bested by LEVIATHAN OF LARD in a 3 minute contest.
IVAN POISY was defeated by BEAR NEKKID in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
STROKE BROKER was murdered by BEAR ACUDA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
SHELDON vanquished MOTHER THERESA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
OSWALD was defeated by ANJE in a 1 minute Challenge match.
LEWIS was overpowered by SIR GALAHAD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
WITCHCRAZE overpowered BABY in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
NICOLAS ANDRE was defeated by DONAVAN in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge match.
PAUL BEARER slaughtered LUNIEA MILAND in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
PITY WIN was easily killed by MIKE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
BRONS was viciously subdued by YOHAN GENE in a popular 3 minute gory Challenge bout.
JEN HADAR was vanquished by GET THE POINT? in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
PUDWEISER was beaten by CURARE in a 2 minute novice's Challenge match.
CRASHGHOUL was overpowered by ART PENDRAGON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
DREW SCRIVER was overpowered by HUMBUG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
NEER BEAR devastated WASTED EFFORT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
THE RAMPAGING BULK outwaited GREEDY in a 14 minute novice's Challenge battle.
CAMPY was beaten by NEEVA in a exciting 1 minute veteran's fray.
BLACK JACK SHELACK subdued KIRA NERYS in a exciting 1 minute conflict.
TENT IN QUARANTINO won victory over ACE BAILEY in a 6 minute gruesome veteran's bout.
PAULA BONES was overpowered by COURAGE in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
REGGIE handily defeated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
DEEP FRIED LARD subdued ARSENIC in a action packed 3 minute duel.
THE FISHER KING was bested by YURI KARLOMOV in a 6 minute mismatched match.
HOURGLASS won victory over JEAN-LUC DELPECH in a 3 minute conflict.
OSLOBEN BENBOBEN was overpowered by JENNA in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MASS STUPIDITY outwaited KING CRAB in a tiresome 9 minute conflict.
QUEEN OF DENIAL overpowered RONDOL QUIGLO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MAYHEM savagely defeated BORIS MARKOV in a popular 5 minute gory duel.
HAWKEYE HAMMER was handily defeated by DREW in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
KATE vanquished SINISTER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
TONYA PHARDING overcame PING KIN in a 2 minute bout.
SISTER MARY SARAH outlasted HEX ON THE LEACH in a slow 26 minute battle.
PAVEL MOLARI III was luckily beaten by FAT-BOY in a 3 minute bloody conflict.
TAKALEREIHN II overcame SIR GAWAIN in a 1 minute master vs. novice match.
PAVEL MOLARI II demolished IRON MAN HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
AHURA MAZDA was unbelievably bested by NORTON in a 9 minute novice's match.
WARFARIN beat BURNS in a 2 minute beginner's bout.
FE MALE outwaited CURSESHOCK in a crowd pleasing 7 minute novice's fight.
SISTER MARY ELEPHANT was handily defeated by SAL in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
ELDHWEN savagely defeated T'POL in a 2 minute brutal beginner's fight.
LISSUIN was handily defeated by TALON KAARDE in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
BALKI savagely defeated GALVORN in a popular 3 minute gory struggle.
CATFISH was butchered by MALONEY in a 1 minute gruesome uneven match.
VIDA luckily beat OSKI in a 2 minute novice's fight.
ANGEL HOLIE was luckily beaten by CORPULENT CORPSE in a 2 minute beginner's melee.
FIGHTING TREE was subdued by GROND in a popular 1 minute beginner's battle.
BONSUR defeated MARA JADE in a 1 minute novice's contest.
HELLUIN was vanquished by ILLIS in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
RODEKI beat SKYWALKER in a 2 minute novice's match.
VISCIOUSNESS was overpowered by GRIZZLE BOC' in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  26         TOTAL PARRY       80 -  38 -  0      68  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  23         WALL OF STEEL     72 -  58 -  1      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     19         LUNGING ATTACK    83 -  90 -  7      48  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         STRIKING ATTACK   55 -  62 -  7      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   16         BASHING ATTACK    53 -  63 -  5      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  18 -  2      45  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         AIMED BLOW        19 -  23 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -  34 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  23 -  1      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  24 -  1      25  |

Turn 209 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       15 -  4     BASHING ATTACK    10 - 13         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    16 - 10     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  6         3  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      5 - 11         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              STRIKING ATTACK    3 - 16     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      HONEY BEAR 3032            24  14  0  146 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
WALL OF STEEL    SUGAR CUBE 4617            18  12  0  113 COFFEE RULES! (505)
LUNGING ATTACK   NEEVA 3670                 16   7  1  113 DARQUE FORCES (396)
AIMED BLOW       TENT IN QUARANTINO 4816    19   6  0   99 SPOONERTIKS (523)
SLASHING ATTACK  COURAGE 4552                9   7  1   90 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 4995             7   6  1   80 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
STRIKING ATTACK  KIRA NERYS 4941             9   8  1   75 THE FEDERATION (539)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    THE FISHER KING 5104       14  13  1   68 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
BASHING ATTACK   JENNA 5099                  8   3  3   58 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
The overall popularity leader is 100% COLUMBIAN 4874.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The ten other most popular fighters were 100% COLUMBIAN 
4874, SUGAR CUBE 4617, ARSENIC 4285, MAYHEM 5066, CUP OF CAT 4926, CURSESHOCK 5234, 
LAYTON 5098, YOHAN GENE 5165, BALKI 5193, and PANTHER HAMMER 5062.

The least popular fighter this week was HEX ON THE LEACH 5072.  The other ten least 
5068, BOMBAY 5043, FE MALE 5211, NORTON 5192, KING CRAB 4983, VISCIOUSNESS 5251, 
HELLUIN 5237, and CATFISH 5229.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

SUGAR CUBE (47-4617) COFFEE RULES! (505)
101 PROOF!! (47-4495) COFFEE RULES! (505)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn: