DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/18/2004    Duedate: 06/14/2004

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-211

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

HONEY BEAR
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
(47-3032) [25-14-0,148]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HONEY BEAR                     SHELDON
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)           ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
(47-3032) [25-14-0,148]        (47-4111) [5-0-1,62]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

BELANNA TORRES                 BEAR ACUDA
THE FEDERATION (539)           THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
(47-4898) [12-12-0,96]         (47-4995) [8-6-1,102]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. FUN FUN HA HA (576)         78
2. THE FEDERATION (539)        52      SPOONERTIKS (523)
3. BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)    42      Unchartered Team
4. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      38
5. OLD HABITS (566)            33      ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 4*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     15   8  3 65.2   1/ 3*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)    11  3 2
 2/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)         84  47  7 64.1   2/ 6 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         11  3 1
 3/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   228 134 17 63.0   3/ 7*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561) 10  3 0
 4/ 1*CHEAP THRILLS (580)        6   4  0 60.0   4/14 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   10  5 0
 5/ 0*FUN FUN HA HA (576)        3   2  1 60.0   5/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  5 0
 6/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217)         390 271 12 59.0   6/ 2 COFFEE RULES! (505)       8  6 2
 7- 6 DREAM TEAMS (578)         20  14  1 58.8   7/15*SECOND BANANAS (573)      8  6 1
 8- 8 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      81  59  5 57.9   8/ 9 THE FEDERATION (539)      8  7 0
 9/ 7 COFFEE RULES! (505)      100  74  5 57.5   9/ 5 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      7  3 3
10- 9 MY DAY (557)              27  20  0 57.4  10/12 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      7  5 0
11/12*SECOND BANANAS (573)       8   6  1 57.1  11/ 4 DARQUE FORCES (396)       7  8 1
12/14*BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  21  16  0 56.8  12/16*STRETSAMLEUD (575)        7  8 1
13/10 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     135 103  4 56.7  13/19*CHEAP THRILLS (580)       6  4 0
14/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         561 435 30 56.3  14/24 HOME GUARD (402)          6  4 0
15/13 DARQUE FORCES (396)       70  60  4 53.8  15/17*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     6  9 1
16/17*OLD HABITS (566)           8   7  1 53.3  16/21*DUR EDHEL (579)           6  9 1
17/15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     280 250 29 52.8  17/23*DREWS CREW (546)          6  9 0
18/27*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)    5   5  1 50.0  18/28*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   5  5 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/16 SKELETON KEY (493)        54  57  2 48.6  19-10 MY DAY (557)              5  5 0
20/20 THE FEDERATION (539)      56  61  1 47.9  20/18*RAT SALAD (577)           5 10 0
21/18*STRETSAMLEUD (575)         7   8  1 46.7  21/ 8 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    4  8 0
22/21 THE JESUITS (524)         47  63 11 42.7  22/ 0*FUN FUN HA HA (576)       3  2 1
23/24*DREWS CREW (546)          17  23  1 42.5  23/20*OLD HABITS (566)          3  3 1
24/19*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     11  15  1 42.3  24-25 DREAM TEAMS (578)         3  6 0
25/23 HOME GUARD (402)          25  35  2 41.7  25-27 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      3  7 0
26/22 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    89 130  2 40.6  26/13 SPOONERTIKS (523)         3  9 1
27/30*RAT SALAD (577)            8  12  0 40.0  27/22*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)     3 12 0
28/25*DUR EDHEL (579)            6   9  1 40.0  28-11 PURE POISON (478)         2  3 0
29-26*KILL @ WILL (581)          2   3  0 40.0  29-29*KILL @ WILL (581)         2  3 0
30-28 PURE POISON (478)         30  47  4 39.0  30/26 THE JESUITS (524)         2  6 1
31/31*MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)      6  19  0 24.0  31/30 SKELETON KEY (493)        2 13 0
32/32*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)      4  22  0 15.4  32/31*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)     0 11 0
33-33*EXALTED PATH (565)         1  13  0  7.1  33-33*EXALTED PATH (565)        0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     Goat was preparing for his quest, loudly cursing ABRAXIS and CFH.  "How dare 
they stick me, the mighty Goat, in the role of babysitter.  That Voodoo been killed 
years ago!"  Goat was a powerful man, standing 6'8" -- 320 lbs.  His corded muscles 
rippled as he easily lifted his 65 lb great axe in to its sling across his back.  
This axe was of dwarven manufacture, and had been a gift from his father on his 16th 
birthday.  He was 18 before he could lift it with one hand, yet now this robust young 
man wielded it like a toothpick.  He grabbed his backpack that had been filled with 
the freshly curdled goat cheese that had given hm his name.  The many furs and goat 
hides that covered the barbarian may have had something to do with it as well.  The 
cheese was a staple of his diet and its odor announced his presence well before he 
was seen.
     He went next door to retrieve Voodoo from his room.  As he went to knock on the 
door it opened opened before him.  There stood Voodoo 5'6" -- 120 lbs, wearing 
loincloth and carrying his machete.  The stark look of the black and white body paint 
was set off by a powder blue bag that was slung over his shoulder.  Goat had to 
squint to look at the gaudy thing.  It sparkled and glistened  like something a lady 
would wear at a King's court.
     "What is that thing?" demanded Goat.
     Voodoo smiled and replied, "It's my medicine bag; it's where I carry my Voodoo 
doll!"
     He reached in the bag and pulled out the doll.  It was a gruesome sight, made of 
bone and hair, with bits of blood and what looked like skin hanging off of it.  The 
disturbing thing was that the bone looked like a human femur and the damn thing 
reeked so badly that the smell even disgusted Goat.  Goat shook his head and said, 
"Put that silly thing away!  Come on or we'll miss our caravan!"  Voodoo pouted and 
did as he was told.
     They easily found their caravan.  It was scheduled to leave at 10:00 and ABRAXIS 
had purchased them fare on the wagonmaster's own wagon.  Voodoo eagerly jumped into 
the back with the wagonmaster's daughter.  He just couldn't wait to show her that his 
bag was real lame and hers wasn't.  He also admired the tassels on her bag and wanted 
to learn how he might add some to his.  Goat, on the other hand, joined the 
wagonmaster on the seat and began to inquire how long it would take to reach North 
Fork from Storm Crowe and was pleased that they would arrive by lunch the next day.  
They traveled through lunch and stopped about half an hour before sundown and set up 
camp.
     Voodoo had bartered for some leather and blue dye, and was happily adding 
tassels to his bag.  Goat purchased some bread and sat down to a meal of bread and 
goat cheese.  A few hours later, he saw Voodoo cuddled up with his doll and sleeping 
soundly with his thumb in his mouth.  He went to sleep cursing ABRAXIS and CFH for 
his mission.
     The next morning, with Voodoo preening over the addition to his bag, they 
completed thier journey to North Fork.
     As soon as they arrived, the remarkable luck of Voodoo came through again.  A 
band of six Karigit (swampdwellers), saw him and fell to their knees in adulation.  
Goat, perplexed, sat back in wonder and Voodoo simply smiled.  The swampmen were 
croaking and prostrating themselves and the sound they were making so ooo -- ooo, it 
sounded curiously like they were chanting Voodoo.  (For those that do not know, the 
Karragit are amphibious, looking very much like bipedal toads.)
     Voodoo held out his hand and what Goat guessed was a female climbed up on his 
lap.  Voodoo looked at Goat and said, "I guess we have just found our guides into the 
swamp."
     The boys from Vendetta United made arrangements to meet the Karigit at dawn and 
headed off to find rooms.
     Goat was blutterbunged at the events of the morning and began to investigate 
what had happened.  Voodoo and the swampwoman went up to his room and Goat shook his 
head in disgust.  Karigit were slimy, smelly and utterly repulsive.  Well this was 
Voodoo we were talking about, so he guessed that it was alright.
     Goat asked around town and found out that the God of Karigit was known as ooo - 
ooo and that he was slender and stark white with black eyes, just like Voodoo in his 
paint.  That putz had  to be the luckiest person that Goat had ever known.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                       TW3 #2

     Thank you...thanks...First, I'll address Goat:  Kat, the leader of the VC (for 
TW3 purposes) said to drop you...CFH has verified you for Vendett@UNITED, so all you 
need do is declare for them...I know you've already declared VC, but...?  So I'll 
list you as both for now, and fix it when you/Kat get it all settled -- I need either 
verification for VC, or declaration for VU.
     2nd, Hammer -- Kat has *NOT* verified for you, either!
     3rd, Skullagrim & Firehawk -- I've still gotten no certs for either of 
you...oversight?
     4th, Slaughter Priest -- No, you weren't supposed to be left out of the VC last 
spot...I don't know what happened...here's the update:  /Slaughter Priest/My 
Day/Frustration      +30(+30)  1-0-0

     Now, on to last turn's standings:

*Alliance:          *1st*                  *2nd*
High Score          Vendetta Cartel         Merced Mafia
DA Returns          Tied: Beverages, Inc.   -/- SCOMSS (1 each)
Awards/Honors       Vendetta Cartel (5)     Bev, Inc. -/- Merc. Mafia (4)
Stylemasters        SCOMSS (6)              Vendetta Cartel (5)
Kills               Vendetta Cartel (6)     3 Alliances, tied (2 each)

*Team
High Score           Bear's Paw (490)          All-Star Nana's (385)
Awards Honors        Tied: Bear's Paw          -/- Coffee Rules! (4 each)
Stylemaster          Spoonertiks (4)           Coffee Rules! (3)
Kills                Bear's Paw (4)            All-Star Nana's (2)

*Warrior High Score    Witchcraze (340)            Sugar Cube (200)
Awards/Honors          100% Columbian (4)          Honey Bear (2)
Stylemasters           Tied at (2):  Courage/Tent in Q...

The Mr. Coffee Awards:
**Most Kills, Warrior**    (All tied at *one*)
     Sugar Cube, Oski, Witchcraze, Mike; Maloney, Balki, Ahura Mazda

***Highest W/L, team***
1.  Land of Oz           8-1-0         11.  Dur Edhel          4-6-0
2.  All-Star Nanas       7-2-2         12.  The Federation     4-6-0
3.  Royal Flush          7-2-0         13.  The Middle Way 3   3-5-0
4.  Coffee Rules!        6-3-1         14.  Dream Teams        3-6-0
5.  Mystic Orc Feast     6-4-0         15.  Life's Lessons     3-7-0
6.  Second Bananas       5-4-1         16.  Mixed-Up Mixers    3-7-0
7.  Sretsamleud          5-4-1         17.  Drew's Crew        2-8-1
8.  Darque Forces        5-5-1         18.  Rat Salad          2-8-0
9.  Knights Templar      5-5-1         19.  Skeleton Key       2-8-0
10. My Day               5-5-0         20.  Avenger Hammerz    0-10-0

     Now, the SCORES!

*Alliance/leader
  /Mgr/Team/Champ                         Total (Change)        Kills   S/M   Awd.

*Vendetta Cartel/Kat                       6270 (+515)           6      5     5
  /Kat/The Bear's Paw/Paul Bearer           490 ( +10)           4      2     4
  /Fizban/Managerial Mayhem/                 25 ( +25)           0      0     0
  /Dr. Mabuse/Bordeaux-Saintes/Yohan Gene   385 (+355)           0      0     0
  /Master Darque/Darque Forces/Neeva        360 (+380)           1      1     0
  /Phat Phat/Sretsamleud/ --                -30 ( -40)           1      0     0
  /Firehawk/Home Guard/Yori Karlomov         (No Cert)           -      -     -
  /Street Legal/Lifes Lessons/Gregola        -5 (-130)           0      2     0
  /Slaughter Priest/My Day/Frustration      -55 ( -85)           0      0     1
  /Hammer/Avenger Hammerz/Giant Man Hammer  (Not Verified)       -     -

*Fellowship of SCOMSS/Oz                   5070 (+355)           2      4     2
  /Oz/Land of Oz/Hourglass                  215 (+145)           0      2     1
  /Slugbait/Mystic Orc Feast/ --             40 ( +40)           0      0     0
  /Crip/Royal Flush/ --                   (Not Declared)                -     -
  /Mannequin/Scond Bananas/Kramer            95 ( +95)           1      0     
0
  /Spawn/Spoonertiks/Tent in Quarantino    -330 (-375)           1      4     
1
  /Soultaker - Father O'Malley/ --          DF (  NF)           -      -     -
  -- /Old Habits/Mother Superior

*Beverages, Inc./Mr. Coffee                5075 ( +15)           2      3     4
  /Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules!! --             195 (+270)           1      3     4
  /The Bartender/Mixed-Up Mixers/ --       -200 (-325)           0      0     0
  /Baphomet/Knights Templar/Art Pendragon    40 ( +40)           1      0     0
  /Drake/Drake's Comics/ --              (Not Declared)

*Merced Mafia/The Mun                      5310 ( -45)           2      1     4
  /The Mun/All-Star Nana's/Anje             385 (  +0)           2      1     2
  /Sub-Dude/Dream Teams/ --                -100 ( -60)           0      0     2
  /DJ Nth/10,001 Maniacs/Concrete Redhead    DF (  NF)           -      - 
    -
  /Centari/???/ --                      (Not Declared)           -      -     -
  /Daehir/Dur Edhel/Lissuin             (Not Declared *Fixed*)

*Strong-Arm Senate -- Vendett@UNITED/CFH   4510 (-320)           0 
     0     0
  /CFH/Rat Salad/Baby                      -100 (-100)           0      0     0
  /Goat/The Jesuits/ --                 (Not Declared)           -      -     -
  /Abraxis/Drews Crew/Kate                 -290 (-120)           0      0     0
  /VooDoo/Kill@Will/ --                      DF (  NF)           -      -     -
  /Jorja/Middle Way 3 --                (Not Declared, No Cert)

*61st Precept/31 OP                        5080 ( +80)           0      1     0
  /31 OP/The Federation/Belana Torres        75 ( +75)           0      1     0
  /Skullagrim/Skeleton Key/ --              ( No Cert)           -      -     -

     Any questions?!  No?  Good!  Then, 'til next time...BLOODY SANDS!

                              Asmo Dius, TCB

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     CHF set about accomplishing his work...
     He pulled back the sheets from over the blonde's head.  Slowly, inching its way 
down, the sheet revealed a slight glimpse of down upon the blonde's chin.  CFH fell 
backwards, slamming against a crate next to the bed, knocking it and its myriad of 
brickabrack upon the floor, both himself and its contents slamming against the wall.  
Learning what he had sickened him.  He was completely taken by surprise and aghast!
     "Ahhhh!" screamed CFH.
     "Wh...wha...what the hell is going on!" yelped Abraxis, springing up from the 
bed, tangled in the sheet and falling out of bed while attempting to disengage his 
legs from the other party in the bed.
     "This is disgusting," CFH shrieked, voice cracking in prepubescent fury, "When I 
said we'd be 'United,' I meant something entirely different than this!"
     "Aw...c'mon dude..." Abraxis started to comment, getting interrupted in mid-
sentence.
     "DUDE NOTHING!" CFH seethed, spit flying through the air in rage, "get dressed 
and remember the brown racing stripe goes in the back.  And by the way, who's the 
freak in the bed with you?!"
     "Well..." Abraxis started.

                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***

Meanwhile...

     Voodoo and the serving wench were getting pertty cosey up against the bar.  The 
one thing that amazed and intrigued him was, well...she looked so much like a Klown 
with that fuzzy red crop of mane, reminding him of another affair he'd had in 
Chimlevtal.
     Reaching up to run his fingers thorgh the wench's hair, her wig dislodged and 
became trapped in his sticky palm.
     "AARRGGHH!" yelped Voodoo in complete surprise, "you look just like Phat-Phat!"
     "Dude," Phat-Phat replied, "that'th probably becauth I am!"
     "In that case, hmmmm..." Voodoo thought.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 491): ANXIETY of DSM4 (The Sandman, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 489): THE TICK of THE CITY (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 485): LITTLE CURRENT of TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 485): CALIAPHUS of BLACKHEART'S AXE (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 483): CREME A. SHUN of DELTA DOOM (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 482): BLUE of THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 241): PARADOX of SHADOW GATE (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 474): BINDI of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): SYWINELL of BUSHMASTERS (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 471): STYLISH of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 469): ASKELIA of LA JOYEUX COCHON (T'Loi, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 462): TOM THUMB of THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 425): MISERY of HELL'S PAWNS (Harbinger, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 216): SCORPIUS of KNIGHT BREED (The Omnimancer, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 210): 100% COLUMBIAN of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 197): TOM SMITH DISEASE of STRANGE TUNES (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 350): ANDREW of ROLE MONSTERS (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 330): FREDDIE of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 146): CROSS CZECH of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 375): E.A.POLECAT of DRAKE'S BAR-B-Q from MALCORN (Drake)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 491): SOLITAIRE (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 489): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 485): TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 485): PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 483): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 482): CURTAIN CALL (?, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 241): SHADOW GATE (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 474): CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 471): DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 469): WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 462): LOST CAUSE (Vol, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 425): WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 216): MOJO P@TROL (Master Voodoo, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 210): LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 197): TEAM VIRTUE (Boy Scout, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 350): ROLE MONSTERS (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 330): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 146): MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 375): BLACKEST PRIDE (Sylvester Frothingslosh, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 488): FLADRAKEEN OOSCH of TEAM GNASTY (Big Gnasty, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 484): ANTEZEL of WYLDERNESS WYLD (Barnabas, mgr.)
                           MANAGER TC'S of IT'S JUST WRONG (LHI, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 483): CREME A. SHUN of DELTA DOOM (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 482): BLUE of THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 240): LOONY LATEKNIGHT of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
                          IDIOTIC INDIGO of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 474): BINDI of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
              (turn 473): RAGING FIRE of DEATH THREAT (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 238): UNCAS of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                   (turn 237): HUNGRY BONES of UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 468): LIGHT DA' PYRE of WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
                                   CATNIP of VOLUNTEER FLOWERS (Inferno, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 424): FLESHRENDER of WIDOWMAKERS (Soultender, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 210): 100% COLUMBIAN of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
                               BLACK JACK SHELACK of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
                               TENT IN QUARANTINO of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
                   (turn 209): SUGAR CUBE of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
                               101 PROOF!! of COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 330): MARTINE of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 329): NINNUAM of CHILDREN OF CTHULHU (The Sandman, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 145): CONUNDRUM of MYSTERIOUS (Mad Max, mgr.)
                            PRIZMATYK WAHL of MAGIC MAYHEM (Fizban, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

This has taken a while, but I have to admit that, yes--the view is nice from the top.  
I must thank those who got me here; 100% Columbian for the challenge, Cup of Cat for 
keeping me in the Challenger Champs for so long, as well as some others who already 
departed.  My invite is probably another 30-40 fights off (at this pace), so 
hopefully I can hold this spot another turn or two.  Though others may be more 
deserving, the first challenge goes to Folmor Grigg.  I owe Jorja at least a shot for 
the title.  Tent, sorry, youre definitely getting the avoid.

Honey Bear

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt NORTH FORK will ever be the same.  It seems the training can make the 
difference, as LAND OF OZ is pushed out of top team by ALL-STAR NANA'S, who came from 
3rd with a 4-1-0 this turn.  THE MIDDLE WAY 3 must be either in pain, or numb, having 
dropped from 8th to 21st this turn, with a 1-3-0 acting as the weight.  It doesn't 
rain, but it pours for SPOONERTIKS this turn, a 1-3-0 causing a 13 flight drop in the 
team rankings.  Hand that team a dry towel.  The BORDEAUX - SAINTES guild has had a 
4-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future.  You never know where this kind 
of thing can lead.  And let's see, PROPHET OF NTH fought MOTH LITE and gained 61 
points and contributed to FUN FUN HA HA's 3-2-1.  COURAGE has lost to KIRA NERYS, 
falling 19 points, while helping make LAND OF OZ a 1-4-0 turn.  This week's 
Duelmaster bout was between SPYMASTER and our Duelmaster 100% COLUMBIAN, making a 
Dark Arena Challenge.  Defending hers title for another turn, 100% COLUMBIAN kept 
DARK ARENA's warrior, SPYMASTER, from claiming the throne.  Can someone confirm a 
rumor for me?  I hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at The 
Dripping Blade until they win.  Maybe?   
     The crowd's roar, the smell of iron and leather, mixed with sweat, what more 
could a warrior ask of life?  Well, besides that.  KNIGHTS TEMPLAR has cause to stand 
tall, as they were NORTH FORK's most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a 
team to beat.  And avoiding KNIGHTS TEMPLAR more than any other team we find MIXED-UP 
MIXERS.  NORTH FORK, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  The most 
challenged warrior this turn was LAND OF OZ's warrior HOURGLASS.  More fighters 
challenged her than challenged the Duelmaster!  In a fit of brilliance or of 
stupidity (hard to say sometimes), CAPTAIN MARBLE challenged NEEVA today, facing a 26 
difference in recognition.  And though CAPTAIN MARBLE lost to NEEVA, the valiant 
attempt earned him 1 worth of recognition.  Foolhardiness can sometimes pay.  In a 
brave attempt, PAULA BONES from SKELETON KEY challenged up 23 points to fight ACE 
BAILEY from the ROYAL FLUSH stable.  PAULA BONES perhaps got hers just desserts, 
seeing as she was defeated by ACE BAILEY and ended up with 71 recognition points.  
BRONS of KNIGHTS TEMPLAR had better have a good reason for challenging down 9 points 
in a challenge which he won.  I thought BRONS showed great skill and promise when he 
subdued KENSAI.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  100% COLUMBIAN must have surprised COFFEE RULES! this turn, after they sent 
her to the Dark Arena, but the Dark Arena couldn't hold her!  A farewell moment, if 
you please, BEARFOOT of THE BEAR'S PAW has been sent to the Dark Arena, and was 
carried out on his shield.  The grave that ROYAL FLUSH had dug for BLACK JACK SHELACK 
may yet be filled with the body of BLACK ORC.  Seldom are the likes of this to be 
seen.  BLACK JACK SHELACK lives still!  Kudos go out to LISSUIN this turn, for 
revenging DUR EDHEL's bloodfeud against STRETSAMLEUD's warrior OSKI.  Well done.  
We'd like to remind certain teams not to rob the graves of their enemies.  You know 
who you are; and it's considered rude.   
     Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the 
sweetest.  Well, I'm burning daylight here in NORTH FORK and I've a long road ahead 
of me.  Happy Trails.  Until you see my quill in NORTH FORK again, farewell-- Alarond 
the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HONEY BEAR 3032              25  14  0   148       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NEEVA 3670                   18   7  1   121       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 BEAR ACUDA 4995               8   6  1   102       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIRA NERYS 4941              11   8  1   100       THE FEDERATION (539)
 ACE BAILEY 4948              11  10  0    97       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BELANNA TORRES 4898          12  12  0    96       THE FEDERATION (539)
 CUP OF CAT 4926              13  10  0    93       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          14  13  0    90       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-GREGOLA 5101                 18  10  0    86       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975         15   3  0    85       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 LATTE 4667                   17  13  0    84       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-FRUSTRATION 5067              9   1  0    84       MY DAY (557)
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            18  29  0    83       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 RAINBOW 4553                 11   8  0    81       LAND OF OZ (217)
 QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896         11  13  0    79       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 COURAGE 4552                 10   8  1    78       LAND OF OZ (217)
 KING CRAB 4983               10   7  0    73       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 KALYPSO 3603                 15  11  0    72       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 PAULA BONES 4414             14   8  1    71       SKELETON KEY (493)
-THE FISHER KING 5104         14  14  1    69       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MASS STUPIDITY 5068          10   0  0    65       MY DAY (557)
 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561        10   8  0    62       SKELETON KEY (493)
 SHELDON 4111                  5   0  1    62       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 PROPHET OF NTH 5215           1   0  0    61       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
-REGGIE 5230                   9   5  1    59       DREAM TEAMS (578)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STRYCHNINE 4838              10   5  1    56       PURE POISON (478)
 YURI KARLOMOV 4215            9   1  0    55       HOME GUARD (402)
-ARSENIC 4285                  5   9  1    51       PURE POISON (478)
-LAYTON 5098                   7   5  1    48       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 HOURGLASS 5127                7   1  0    48       LAND OF OZ (217)
-JENNA 5099                    8   4  3    47       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 BEAR NEKKID 5126              6   2  0    46       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 WITCHCRAZE 5201               4   0  1    45       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113        7   3  0    41       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 TAKALEREIHN II 4260           4   5  1    40       HOME GUARD (402)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            4   2  0    40       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 DABO GIRL 5023                6   7  0    39       THE FEDERATION (539)
 ANJE 4109                     4   1  0    39       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 YOHAN GENE 5165               3   2  0    39       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 TEN C-0 METER 5141            5   1  0    36       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095           7   4  3    33       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-HENBANE 4289                  5  11  1    33       PURE POISON (478)
 IVAN POISY 5112               5   5  0    32       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137        4   0  0    32       OLD HABITS (566)
-MAYHEM 5066                   4   6  0    31       MY DAY (557)
 CORPULENT CORPSE 5250         3   0  0    31       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DREW 4993                     5   3  1    29       DREWS CREW (546)
 LISSUIN 5238                  2   1  1    29       DUR EDHEL (579)
 NICOLAS ANDRE 5166            2   3  0    29       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            5  13  0    28       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       5   1  0    28       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 PAVEL MOLARI II 3665          5   7  1    27       HOME GUARD (402)
 PAUL BEARER 5187              3   1  1    27       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 KRAMER 5191                   1   1  0    27       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 JEAN-LUC DELPECH 5089         5   4  0    26       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 NORTON 5192                   3   0  0    25       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BALKI 5193                    2   1  1    24       SECOND BANANAS (573)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DISIR 5168                    3   1  1    23       THE JESUITS (524)
-GALDR 5171                    2   2  1    23       THE JESUITS (524)
 BORIS MARKOV 4540             3   3  0    22       HOME GUARD (402)
 DONAVAN 4112                  3   2  0    22       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 ANGRY DRAGON 5243             2   0  0    22       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 BELLILAUD 5204                2   0  0    22       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 JEN HADAR 5181                4   1  0    21       THE FEDERATION (539)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148              3   2  0    21       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-DA TING 5129                  1   0  0    21       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 WYRD 5167                     3   2  0    20       THE JESUITS (524)
 BABY 5224                     3   1  0    20       RAT SALAD (577)
 SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197         2   0  0    20       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
-GET THE POINT? 5097           3   4  0    19       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 FAT-BOY 5221                  3   1  0    19       RAT SALAD (577)
 BURNS 5190                    2   1  0    19       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 DIRTY FLORES 5245             1   1  0    19       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 NEER BEAR 5073                4   2  0    18       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 GREEDY 5223                   2   2  0    18       RAT SALAD (577)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              1   4  1    18       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 DASTER MARQUE 5196            1   1  0    18       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 HEX ON THE LEACH 5072         0   4  0    18       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 SISTER MARY ELEPHANT 5219     2   1  1    17       OLD HABITS (566)
 ILLIS 5207                    2   1  0    17       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 PAVEL MOLARI III 4539         1   5  0    17       HOME GUARD (402)
 KATE 4992                     4   4  0    16       DREWS CREW (546)
 TONYA PHARDING 4924           4   4  0    16       SKELETON KEY (493)
 NIN QUIRE 5281                2   0  0    16       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 ELDHWEN 5236                  2   1  0    15       DUR EDHEL (579)
 RAGNAROK 5169                 4   1  1    14       THE JESUITS (524)
 HUMBUG 5199                   2   2  0    14       LAND OF OZ (217)
 LEWIS 5286                    1   0  0    14       DREWS CREW (546)
 DRASTARDY DAKE 5198           1   1  0    14       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 HUGR 5170                     2   3  1    13       THE JESUITS (524)
 BRONS 5150                    2   3  0    13       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 FE MALE 5211                  3   1  0    12       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 RODEKI 5208                   2   1  0    12       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 ESTADIEU 5205                 2   0  0    12       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 MISFORTUNE COOKIE 5275        0   2  0    12       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 CRISTER MOFFEE 5289           1   0  1    11       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 WHEELS OF STEEL 5217          1   0  1    11       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 SIR GAWAIN 5149               1   4  0    11       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 OSWALD 5285                   1   0  0    11       DREWS CREW (546)
 LUD BIGHT 5283                1   0  0    11       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235            1   2  0    11       LAND OF OZ (217)
 MIMI 5284                     1   0  0    10       DREWS CREW (546)
-GRIZZLE BOC' 5256             1   0  0    10       KILL @ WILL (581)
-TALON KAARDE 5253             1   0  0    10       KILL @ WILL (581)
 DREW SCRIVER 5200             0   4  0    10       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-WARFARIN 5231                 2   0  0     9       PURE POISON (478)
 CURSESHOCK 5234               1   2  0     9       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-CURARE 5132                   1   4  0     9       PURE POISON (478)
-NAKAMURI 5180                 1   0  0     9       EXALTED PATH (565)
 SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262     0   1  0     9       OLD HABITS (566)
 DARKHOLM 5298                 1   0  0     7       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 SCOTT 5299                    1   0  0     6       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 IGNATOWSKI 5274               0   2  0     6       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 BONSUR 5210                   1   2  0     5       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 HALATIR 5296                  1   0  0     5       DUR EDHEL (579)
-VIDA 5228                     1   1  0     4       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 FILTHY SANCHEZ 5244           1   1  0     4       CHEAP THRILLS (580)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MANANA 5241                   1   1  0     4       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
-SAL 5226                      1   1  0     4       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 A LITTLE BABY 5214            1   0  0     4       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
-WASTED EFFORT 5153            0   4  0     4       MY DAY (557)
-SINISTER 5123                 0   4  0     4       EXALTED PATH (565)
 HELLUIN 5237                  0   3  0     3       DUR EDHEL (579)
-PENTACLE SILK 5122            0   3  0     3       EXALTED PATH (565)
 KENSAI 5267                   0   2  0     2       RAT SALAD (577)
-VISCIOUSNESS 5251             0   2  0     2       MY DAY (557)
 PELLA REES 5280               0   2  0     2       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-KIA 5125                      0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
-DAJA LUST 5121                0   2  0     2       EXALTED PATH (565)
 MARRED TEENY 5291             0   1  0     1       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-SKYWALKER 5255                0   1  0     1       KILL @ WILL (581)
-CATFISH HUNTER 5279           0   1  0     1       DREAM TEAMS (578)
 NASTA 5297                    0   1  0     1       DUR EDHEL (579)
-MARA JADE 5252                0   1  0     1       KILL @ WILL (581)
 TIV LAYMOOR 5301              0   1  0     1       SKELETON KEY (493)
 CUTTIN ON WAX 5216            0   1  0     1       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 MOTH LITE 5290                0   1  0     1       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 JAVA QUEEN 5294               0   1  0     1       COFFEE RULES! (505)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
AARON 5300             0  1 0 ALL-STAR NANA'S 457   CRISTER MOFFEE 5289   211         
MIKE 4110              1  3 1 ALL-STAR NANA'S 457   BALKI 5193            210         
BEARFOOT 4875         12 12 1 THE BEAR'S PAW 150    SPYMASTER 22          211 NONE    
THE TONY DANZA 5242    1  1 0 CHEAP THRILLS 580     SISTER MARY ELEP 5219 211         
COLD JOE 5293          0  1 0 COFFEE RULES! 505     BANDIT PRINCE 25      211 NONE    
BARISTA 5295           0  1 0 COFFEE RULES! 505     RAGNAROK 5169         211         
SPYMASTER 22           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          100% COLUMBIAN 4874   211 NONE    
BLACK ORC 20           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          BLACK JACK SHELA 4850 211 NONE    
CRASHGHOUL 5202        1  3 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     STONE GOLEM 26        211 NONE    
FOULBANE 5203          0  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     DISIR 5168            208 REVENGED
WHATAPUTZ 5287         0  1 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   211 NONE    
GROND 5240             1  1 0 DUR EDHEL 579         OSKI 5206             210 JUST REV
T'POL 5248             1  2 0 THE FEDERATION 539    MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     211 NONE    
SEVEN OF NINE 4940     8  8 0 THE FEDERATION 539    STRYCHNINE 4838       208 REVENGED
A SMELLY RAVER 5213    0  1 0 FUN FUN HA HA 576     MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     211 NONE    
CASUALTY 5288          0  1 0 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM 574 BANDIT PRINCE 25      211 NONE    
NEDDIE OGIL 4663      13 16 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  BEARFOOT 4875         209         
LUNIEA MILAND 5147     3  2 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506  PAUL BEARER 5187      209         
PUDWEISER 5074         0  3 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   AHURA MAZDA 5152      210         
TARRED MEANY 5115      2  1 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   WITCHCRAZE 5201       210         
CARNAGE 5069           2  6 0 MY DAY 557            HENBANE 4289          208 REVENGED
HUMBLE PIE 5188        1  1 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  GALDR 5171            208 REVENGED
BIGFACE 5292           0  1 0 RAT SALAD 577         WHEELS OF STEEL 5217  211         
PITY WIN 5222          0  2 0 RAT SALAD 577         MIKE 4110             209 NONE    
ANGEL HO-LEEN 5282     0  2 0 SKELETON KEY 493      STONE GOLEM 26        211 NONE    
STROKE BROKER 5094     5  4 1 SPOONERTIKS 523       BEAR ACUDA 4995       209         
OSKI 5206              1  2 1 STRETSAMLEUD 575      LISSUIN 5238          211         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Bob the Bard and Eddy the Gimp -- The Cartel is a who's who of nobodies?  Well, the 
name is Kat, and you happen to be standing in my swamp.  Start playing nice, or soon 
a few of my nobodies will be shoveling dirt on you. -- The Feline of Fact, Kat (Mgr. 
The Bear's Paw)

100% Columbian (& Mister Coffee) -- We appreciate the honor of the challenge, and 
hope to hold the crown you relinquished with the same class; in addition, many 
congratulations are in order!  Two graduates! -- The Tortoiseshell of Turf War, Kat

Spoonertiks -- You challenged us.  Our condolences on Broker. -- The Russian Blue of 
Remembrance, Kat

Jorja -- I have no words to express my shock at the results of those fights.  That 
was not *> in any way <* the goal.  Luniea was a surprise, Neddie a complete 
dumbfounder.  My best and most sincere wishes for blessings from the RUGs. -- The 
Calico of Condolence, Kat

A.D. -- Yes, we recognize both Fizban and Hammer into the Cartel Representation we 
have here.  For some reason my announcements last month never made it in. -- Kat

     Hal was very, very hungry.  And we don't get in its way when it is hungry.

A.D. -- Asmo, as HAL ate my ads last cycle, Here they are again.  I am Centauri, 
participant of Turf Wars, member of the Merced Mafia.  I proclaim Dirty Flores of 
Cheap Thrills as my Champion. -- Centauri

Asmo -- I could have sworn I declared for the fellowship back in January, but as I 
peruse the newsletters, I don't see anything there.  Life's surprises this spring 
have kept my attention away from the sands, but I should be back and semi-focused 
now, so consider the flush officially declared, and Ace Bailey to be the Champion. -- 
Crip

North Fork -- FYI, Black Jack Shellack, 11(1)-9-11-16(1)-17-5-17 Lunger, 65 skills 
learned, Master in Init, Advanced Experts in Riposte, Parry, Attack and Defence.  +1 
Attack, +3 Parry, and +4 Riposte means he's bonused overall, but certainly not in the 
preferred areas.  The commission says his favourites are Epee, Low-High sans tactic, 
while learning parry skills. After a visit to the Dark Arena, he'll be off to Home 
Guard to join Mail-in TV Steve McQueen of the Flush. -- Crip, mgr of Royal Flush

Tent In Quarantino -- Begon, beating me twice is sure fire sign of belonging in ADM.
-- Ace Bailey

Captain Marble -- Surprise surprise.  Turns out I was actually running with my 
favourite Offensive Effort (see above) on an if challenged strategy. Tactical error 
on your part -- Black Jack Shelack

Layton & Jenna & Get to the Point? -- Needed to know what the new transferee in was 
all about.  Even the MUGS saw the validity in our challenges -- Queen of Denial, King 
Crab, and Ten C-0 Meter

Belanna Torres -- Yet again I thanks that MUGS, and not Mr. Coffee's variety either. 
-- Ace Bailey

Mr. Coffee -- O' great alliance leader, do not chastise thy friend...for he's lost a 
21 WT BA!  Ouch!  No more "style searching" for me.  I'll take 'em as they come from 
now on. -- The Bartender

All -- Tarred Meany:  13-13-5-21-9-12-11 BA Expert Init and Attack, went 4-3-1, 1-3-0 
and 2-3-0 at his 3 tournies.  Learned 20 skills in 9 FE!

All -- Pudweiser:  7-14-10-11-16(+1)-14-13 ST -- +1 Rip/ +1 Def, very innaccurate.  
Was a "Dixie" and headed to the DA anyway.  Thanks ally!  At least our alliance 
scores a kill this way...

Baphomet -- Free kill for you, and Bev., Inc.!  Way to go...least you picked my 
Dixie. -- The Bartender

Drake -- Forgot to mention, Bev., Inc. will also stand for your cert...yea, we've 
already *done* so!  Come join us! -- The Bartender, Mr. Coffee and Drake (Bev., Inc.)

Witchcraze -- Man, all I asked is "What style are you?"

The Great and Powerful Oz would like to know how a team that could go 0-3, 0-3, 2-3, 
2-3, 2-3 in the Mailer could go 5-0 in North Fork.  The Magnificent Wizard would like 
everyone to answer "great management." -- Oz The All-Humble

Paula Bones -- A win!  On a challenge!  And several mentions in the spy report!  I'm 
feeling couragous. -- Courage

The Fellowship of the SCOMSS has THREE undefeated teams this round!  Shades of 
Emerald City!  A pair of five and oh's (Crip, Oz) and Soultaker's 0-0!!  Life is 
sweet! -- Oz The All-Excited

Asmo Dius -- Sorry your last turn spots didn't make it.  The Land of Oz many 
personals were missing also.  Shucks! -- Oz The All-Sorrowful

Mayhem -- There can only be one woman-of-the-hour. -- Hourglass

Gregola, Gregola, Gregola.  Champions rise and champions fall.  I was the one finding 
the pot of gold. -- Rainbow

Helluin -- I love your name.  I'm not sure how I got the dumpy name.  With a name 
like mine, I'd better learn how to fight well-fast. -- Fighting Tree

Triple H!  HHH!  Humbug Hammers Hawkeye.  Happy Hullabaloos! -- Humbug (not the "bah" 
type)

Fellowship of The SCOMSS -- Great turn!  Nearly 1000 net!  17-6-2 record!  Crip the 
ultimate point collector!  Mannequin a big challenge kill!  Father O'Malley great 
zero-based strategy!  Spawn, great DA kill! -- Oz The All-Motivating

Fellowship of The SCOMSS -- I shall apologize if for a month or two the electronic 
communications are meager.  Real-life circumstances are conflicting.  Major hip 
surgery May 12.  Work retirement. -- Oz The All-Apologetic

A.D. -- Rat Salad declares Kensaia and BIGFACE as new warriors for our stable. -- 
CFH/vendett@UNITED

Mr. Coffee -- Boiled and diced. -- Rat Salad

Knights Templar -- A 7 footer with a halberd and Brons is standing around in a tin 
can.&nbsp; Beautiful wasn't it?.....oh, for us I mean. -- Dr. Mabuse, Bordeaux -- 
Saintes

Asmo -- I have been remiss.  Please add Slaughter Priest's team, My Day, to the ranks 
of the Cartel.  Thank you. -- Kat

All, for some inexcusable reason, we missed last turn.  I guess that should allow 
some of you hope in catching up. -- Kat

*TW3 New Warriors*
Nasta and Halatir will be fighting for Dur Edhel (579). -- Daehir

Oski -- Grand's death shall not go unavenged. -- Lissuin

All -- It is with great sdaness that I announce the death of Bombay, a fine warrior.  
2(1)-16(1)-8-13(2)-21-5-15(2), Expert Parry and Expert Defense. -- Mr. Coffee

All -- 100% Columbian salutes each and every one of you. -- Mr. Coffee

All -- 101 Proof! and Sugar Cube have moved on.  Make way for the new recruits. -- 
Mr. Coffee

*TW3 New Warriors* -- Asmo please score Java Queen, Cold Joe, and Barista for my 
stable.  Also 100% Columbian is my new champion. -- Mr. Coffee

Rat Salad -- Horus intends to return after dealing with a lot of personal issues he's 
having. -- Mr. Coffee

AD -- I didn't say so, my awards are open to all, but you must fight four warriors 
per turn from turn 209 to be eligible. -- Mr. Coffee

All -- My p-ads seem to be a turn or two behind me.  I NO longer fight under the 
banner of the "Cartel."  I now fight with the red & white & black banner that proudly 
is displayed at all our events, for the "Vendett@ United."  (Please take this note 
snide) -- Goat

Vendett@ United -- Sorry about the delays.  Let's get this done. -- Goat

A.D. -- "The Jesuits" will be fighting in this Turf War.  "Wyrd" will be my champion.  
I will be fighting with "Vendett@ United." -- Goat

Skully -- Your capt. is a know all, since he won the two challenges I sent his way.  
I wish you both luck. -- A shaken Goat

OP 3 -- Every garbage can gets a steak thrown in it once in a while. -- Your Daddy

100% Columbian was a lunger.  Her numbers were 9(1)-9-3-17-21-13-13, Master Init, 
Master Rip, Master Attack, Master Defense and Adv Expert in Decise.  She favored the 
longsword although she always used the shortsword.  She enjoyed a rhythm of VH/VH and 
favored learning riposte. -- Mr. Coffee

All -- Free at last, free at last, thank Osyris Almighty I am free at last! -- 31

Goat -- Thanks for those downchallenges; they were worth a ton of points! -- 31

6 May 2004
                                     DEATH FEST

     The ferocious ghosts of former glories whispered across the wind swept sands of
DM 59; agonizing incessantly due to the diminutive demise of the Delarq arena known
as Illis.
     Tattered banners and forgotten memories wailed in the wind for a dynamic death
march to dawn once more upon the blood stained sands of the Delarq slow arena.
     The distant call crying for  a declaration of restoration amidst the ruin of the
all but forgotten Delarq arena carried to the far corners of Alastari; drawing the
Devious, the Diabolical, the Dangerous and the Down Challenging to cross blades and
wage warfare among an assemblage of new stables managed by the Known and Unknown;
willing to spill fresh blood, while carving their destiny during 15 Rounds of contest
driven combat to be known as the "Illis Incredibly Diabolical Delarq Death Fest".
     A lone cloaked figure huddled by lamplight in a remote outpost near the
crossroads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen; feverishly formulating the foundational
framework for the dawning of the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59, complete with
Gladiatorial Commission sanctioned prizes to promote the growing thirst for a Delarq
Slow Arena Death Festival.

     Delarq Death Fest Opening Round debuts the first turn immediately following the
Summer 2004 F2F Tourney and continues through the completion of 15 consecutive
rounds.
     Death Fest points are Won or Lost ONLY in the DM 59 Delarq Slow Arena [Tourneys
DO NOT Add or Subtract from the Death Fest Point Scoring System]:

Death Fest Scoring Format:
Win =3D +2 pts
Loss =3D -1 pt
Kill =3D +5 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Death =3D -3 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Dark Arena Kill =3D +10 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Dark Arena Death =3D -5 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Revenged Blood Feud =3D +5 pts [successful Revenged Blood Feud provides Death Fest
contestants the opportunity to cancel out 3 pts for Death and 1 pt for Loss; while
gaining +1 pt overall for the Revenged Blood Feud in addition to the +2 pts for Win]

    DEATH FEST PRIZES will be awarded to the Top Ten Death Fest Stables on the basis
of Total Points*** accumulated during the 15 rounds of competition as follows:

1.  Favorite Weapon Knowledge for 1 (one) warrior ranked Initiate or higher on the
Final Round to be revealed by RSI to each of the Top Ten Death Fest Stables
2.  Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters and NPCs [yet to be determined according to how
many DA Monsters and NPCs are available in DM 59 for Renaming]
3.  The Top Five Death Fest Stables will receive New Team Rollup Certificates as
follows:  1st (10), 2nd (8), 3rd (6), 4th (4) and 5th (2)
4.  Renaming Illis Arena for 6 months plus Receiving 6 months Free Play courtesy of
RSI will be awarded to the manager of the 1st Place Death Fest Stable
5.  Discussions are underway regarding a possible Special Award granted to the Illis
Iron Stable qualifiers who compete in 67 of a possible 75 fights during the course of
the 15 consecutive rounds of the Death Fest [Key Factor is How Many (?) stables will
be competing in the Death Fest without drawing away participation by current managers
in the remaining slow arenas!]  Therefore, it is important for all managers entering
stables in DM 59 for the upcoming Death Fest to contact RSI as soon as possible
regarding their participation in this contest so that a Final Ruling on the proposed
Illis Iron Stable Award can be issued by RSI.

***TieBreaker is determined on the Final Round by the DM 59 Newsletter Recognition
Rankings.  The stable with the Highest Ranked Active Gladiator is granted the
decision.  [Example: Warrior A and Warrior B are both listed in the Recognition
Rankings with 87 pts; however, because Warrior A is listed in the Recognition
Rankings ahead of Warrior B, then Warrior A is granted the TieBreaker Decision for
His/Her stable!]

     Opening Round Team Spotlight Bonus [minimum 15 paragraphs!]  Each Delarq Death
Fest competitor who writes a Team Spotlight featuring their Stable (Name) and
Managerial Alias [Gladiatorial Names Optional] in regards to competing in the Delarq
Death Fest will receive 25 pts added to His/Her opening round score.
     Illis Iron Stable Bonus [in addition to the proposed award awaiting RSI
approval!]  Any manager whose stable competes in at least 67 of the possible 75
fights during the 15 rounds of Death Fest receives 25 points added to His/Her final
overall score [this allows each stable the cushion of missing one round of
competition; plus up to 3 additional fights due to waiting for replacement rollups
from Deaths suffered either in Tourneys or during the Death Fest contest in DM 59
over the course of 15 rounds of competition!]

Delarq Death Fest
Hosted by Hammer
[Who Else?]

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

100% COLUMBIAN butchered SPYMASTER in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BEARFOOT was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
BLACK JACK SHELACK savagely slew BLACK ORC in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
T'POL was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
CRASHGHOUL was narrowly killed by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena competition.
ANGEL HO-LEEN was savagely slain by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena struggle.
CASUALTY was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
COLD JOE was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
A SMELLY RAVER was slaughtered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
WHATAPUTZ was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
TENT IN QUARANTINO was viciously subdued by BEAR ACUDA in a 5 minute Bloodfeud duel.
LISSUIN easily killed OSKI in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud bout.
HEX ON THE LEACH was savagely defeated by WITCHCRAZE in a 2 minute Bloodfeud match.
ART PENDRAGON slimly lost to HOURGLASS in a exciting 4 minute bloody Challenge battle.
BELANNA TORRES savagely defeated RAINBOW in a 3 minute master's Challenge conflict.
PAULA BONES was savagely defeated by ACE BAILEY in a 3 minute Challenge struggle.
LATTE savagely defeated FOLMOR GRIGG in a 2 minute bloody master's Challenge brawl.
KIRA NERYS overpowered COURAGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
CAPTAIN MARBLE was beaten by NEEVA in a popular 4 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
KING CRAB bested OSLOBEN BENBOBEN in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge contest.
BEAR NEKKID was defeated by SHELDON in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
YOHAN GENE demolished RONDOL QUIGLO in a 3 minute uneven Challenge bout.
JEAN-LUC DELPECH was viciously subdued by ANJE in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
TAKALEREIHN II demolished IVAN POISY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
PAUL BEARER lost to DABO GIRL in a 2 minute Challenge match.
BRONS defeated KENSAI in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
PAVEL MOLARI III was defeated by TEN C-0 METER in a exciting 4 minute Challenge bout.
AHURA MAZDA was beaten by BABY in a action packed 1 minute Challenge duel.
THE RAMPAGING BULK luckily beat BALKI in a exciting 5 minute bloody Challenge fray.
NORTON unbelievably bested DASTER MARQUE in a popular 2 minute gory Challenge bout.
SIR GAWAIN was vanquished by GREEDY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
KRAMER overpowered TONYA PHARDING in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ILLIS savagely defeated MISFORTUNE COOKIE in a 3 minute brutal Challenge bout.
SISTER MARY SARAH outlasted SIR GALAHAD in a monotonous 20 minute Challenge fray.
JEN HADAR bested HUGR in a 4 minute novice's Challenge duel.
FE MALE bested DREW SCRIVER in a exciting 6 minute bloody Challenge battle.
BONSUR was beaten by NIN QUIRE in a exciting 2 minute novice's Challenge fray.
IGNATOWSKI was luckily beaten by ESTADIEU in a 12 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
SPAWING OF SPEWN overpowered FIGHTING TREE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
MANANA was beaten by WYRD in a exciting 1 minute Challenge competition.
FAT-BOY unbelievably bested RODEKI in a popular 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
HONEY BEAR won victory over QUEEN OF DENIAL in a 5 minute master's Title duel.
CUP OF CAT viciously subdued KALYPSO in a popular 3 minute bloody master's duel.
DEEP FRIED LARD overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute bloody uneven competition.
DREW was narrowly defeated by LEVIATHAN OF LARD in a 2 minute gory match.
YURI KARLOMOV narrowly defeated MUTUS BRAXIMUS in a 7 minute gruesome fight.
NEER BEAR was beaten by CORPULENT CORPSE in a 1 minute bout.
PAVEL MOLARI II was handily defeated by NICOLAS ANDRE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DONAVAN vanquished HAWKEYE HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
ELDHWEN was handily defeated by DIRTY FLORES in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
HUMBUG was subdued by BELLILAUD in a popular 1 minute fight.
KATE was overcome by BORIS MARKOV in a 2 minute contest.
SISTER MARY ELEPHANT easily killed THE TONY DANZA in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CURSESHOCK was demolished by ANGRY DRAGON in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
DRASTARDY DAKE overpowered PELLA REES in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HELLUIN was luckily beaten by SCOTT in a 4 minute gory amateur's contest.
BURNS overpowered JAVA QUEEN in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
FILTHY SANCHEZ was defeated by LEWIS in a 1 minute amateur's fight.
RAGNAROK viciously butchered BARISTA in a 1 minute brutal novice's contest.
SISTER MARY CLARENCE was overpowered by MIMI in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
PROPHET OF NTH handily defeated MOTH LITE in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
LUD BIGHT overpowered TIV LAYMOOR in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
OSWALD overpowered CUTTIN ON WAX in a action packed 1 minute one-sided brawl.
WHEELS OF STEEL slaughtered BIGFACE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CRISTER MOFFEE assassinated AARON in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MARRED TEENY was unbelievably bested by HALATIR in a exciting 4 minute novice's match.
A LITTLE BABY defeated NASTA in a 4 minute brutal amateur's fight.
DARKHOLM won victory over CONVICTED THIEF in a tiresome 6 minute novice's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  25         TOTAL PARRY       91 -  50 -  0      65  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     20         WALL OF STEEL     75 -  58 -  2      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         LUNGING ATTACK    89 -  99 - 10      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  18         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  18 -  2      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   12         STRIKING ATTACK   58 -  76 - 11      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         BASHING ATTACK    60 -  79 -  5      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         SLASHING ATTACK   28 -  38 -  2      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         AIMED BLOW        25 -  34 -  2      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  21 -  1      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  28 -  1      24  |

Turn 211 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 14         4  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      8 -  4     STRIKING ATTACK    8 - 11         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY       12 -  8     BASHING ATTACK     7 - 11         2  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         6 -  6     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      HONEY BEAR 3032            25  14  0  148 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
LUNGING ATTACK   NEEVA 3670                 18   7  1  121 DARQUE FORCES (396)
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 4995             8   6  1  102 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
STRIKING ATTACK  KIRA NERYS 4941            11   8  1  100 THE FEDERATION (539)
WALL OF STEEL    ACE BAILEY 4948            11  10  0   97 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
SLASHING ATTACK  COURAGE 4552               10   8  1   78 LAND OF OZ (217)
AIMED BLOW       PAULA BONES 4414           14   8  1   71 SKELETON KEY (493)
BASHING ATTACK   SHELDON 4111                5   0  1   62 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    BEAR NEKKID 5126            6   2  0   46 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is BELANNA TORRES 4898.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was BEAR ACUDA 4995.  The ten other most popular fighters were QUEEN OF DENIAL 
4896, BALKI 5193, NEEVA 3670, MARRED TEENY 5291, BELANNA TORRES 4898, DREW SCRIVER 
5200, PAVEL MOLARI III 4539, RODEKI 5208, CUP OF CAT 4926, and CRASHGHOUL 5202.

The least popular fighter this week was SISTER MARY SARAH 5137.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SIR GALAHAD 5148, ESTADIEU 5205, DARKHOLM 5298, A LITTLE BABY 
5214, FE MALE 5211, HALATIR 5296, AARON 5300, BIGFACE 5292, MOTH LITE 5290, and 
SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

TENT IN QUARANTINO (47-4816) SPOONERTIKS (523)
BLACK JACK SHELACK (47-4850) ROYAL FLUSH (48)
100% COLUMBIAN (47-4874) COFFEE RULES! (505)