DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/10/2004    Duedate: 09/06/2004

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-214

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BEAR ACUDA
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
(47-4995) [11-6-1,128]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BEAR ACUDA                     PROPHET OF NTH
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)           FUN FUN HA HA (576)
(47-4995) [11-6-1,128]         (47-5215) [2-2-0,77]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

BEAR ACUDA                     LEVIATHAN OF LARD
THE BEAR'S PAW (150)           MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
(47-4995) [11-6-1,128]         (47-5113) [9-4-1,56]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)       74
2. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)        56      SPOONERTIKS (523)
3. OLD HABITS (566)            43      Unchartered Team
4. MY DAY (557)                40
5. FUN FUN HA HA (576)         30      FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 6*FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)      6   3  0 66.7   1/ 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   11  4 2
 2/ 4*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     25  13  3 65.8   2/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)         11  4 1
 3/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)         95  51  7 65.1   3/ 2 SPOONERTIKS (523)        11  4 0
 4/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   239 138 19 63.4   4/ 4*ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)    10  5 0
 5/ 5*CHEAP THRILLS (580)       15  10  0 60.0   5/12 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      9  6 1
 6/14*OLD HABITS (566)          12   8  1 60.0   6/ 8*CHEAP THRILLS (580)       9  6 0
 7/ 7 LAND OF OZ (217)         401 275 13 59.3   7/11*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   7  5 0
 8/ 9 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      84  62  5 57.5   8/ 9 THE JESUITS (524)         7  8 1
 9-11 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     135 105  4 56.3   9/ 3*SECOND BANANAS (573)      7  8 0
10/10 COFFEE RULES! (505)      106  83  5 56.1  10/14*FUN FUN HA HA (576)       7  8 0
11/12 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         565 444 30 56.0  11/15*RAT SALAD (577)           6  1 0
12/19*MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   12  10  1 54.5  12/24*FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     6  3 0
13/17 MY DAY (557)              33  29  1 53.2  13- 5*STRETSAMLEUD (575)        6  4 1
14-15 BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  25  22  0 53.2  14/25*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)     6  5 0
15/16 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     289 256 30 53.0  15/13 DARQUE FORCES (396)       6  9 1
16/13 DARQUE FORCES (396)       76  69  5 52.4  16/26 MY DAY (557)              6  9 1
17-18*STRETSAMLEUD (575)        13  12  2 52.0  17/16 COFFEE RULES! (505)       6  9 0
18/23*RAT SALAD (577)           14  13  0 51.9  18/17 SKELETON KEY (493)        6  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 8*SECOND BANANAS (573)      15  14  1 51.7  19/19*NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  5  5 0
20/22*FUN FUN HA HA (576)       10  10  1 50.0  20/28*OLD HABITS (566)          4  1 0
21/ 1*NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)   5   5  0 50.0  21- 7 BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)  4  6 0
22/20 SKELETON KEY (493)        60  66  2 47.6  22/27 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    4  8 0
23/24 THE JESUITS (524)         54  71 12 43.2  23/10 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          4  9 0
24/ 0 TREBORS (232)             73  97  8 42.9  24/29 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      3  3 0
25/27 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    93 138  2 40.3  25/20*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     3  6 0
26/25*KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     14  21  1 40.0  26/21*DUR EDHEL (579)           3 12 0
27-28 DREWS CREW (546)          18  32  1 36.0  27/ 0 TREBORS (232)             2  1 0
28/29*DUR EDHEL (579)            9  21  1 30.0  28-22 DREWS CREW (546)          1  9 0
29/30*AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)     10  27  0 27.0  29-31 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)     0 10 0
30-31 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)      6  29  0 17.1  30-30 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                *     *     *     *     * TW3 #5 *     *     *     *

     We are now officially over the hump in this contest, and sliding down the
backside.  Two things I'd like to address:
     Phat -- I've went over newsletters for turns #209-211 -- no ad declaring Illis
as Champ.  But now you've done so, so will be scored as such.
     Mr. Coffee -- Champs are NOT scored as champs on the same turn they declare!
Sorry.
     Now, on to the scores!

*Alliance/Leader                         Total (change)   Kill     SM    Awd
   /mgr./Team/Champ

*Vendetta Cartel/Kat                       6900 (   +0)     11     18     12
   /Kat/The Bear's Paw/Paul Bearer         +730 ( +260)      6     10      9
   /Fizban/Managerial Mayhem/ --           +185 ( +170)      1      0      0
   /Dr. Mabuse/Bordeaux-Saintes/Yohan Gene +150 ( -330)      0      0      0
   /Mater Darque/Darque Forces/ --         +475 ( -210)      2      4      2
   /Phat Phat/Sretsamleud/Illis             +75 (  -45)      2      0      0
   /Firehawk/HomeGuard/Yuri Karlomov       (No Cert?)
   /Street Legal/Life's Lessons/Gregola    +185 ( +190)      0      4      0
   /Slaughter Priest/My Day/Frustration    -240 (  -75)      0      0      1
   /Hammer/Avenger Hammerz/Wasp Hammer      -20 (  -40)      0      0      0

*Fellowship of SCOMMS/Oz                   7045 (+1700)      6     12     14
   /Oz/Land of Oz/Hourglass                +925 ( +295)      1      4      3
   /Slugbait/Mystic Orc Feast/ --          +630 ( +410)      2      3      6
   /Crip/Royal Flush/Ace Bailey            -460 ( -230)      0      1      1
   /Mannequin/Second Bananas/Kramer        +520 ( +425)      1      0      0
   /Spawn/Spoonertiks/ --                  -340 ( +240)      1      4      4
   /Soultaker/Old Habits/Mother Superior    +40 (   DF)      1      0      0

*Beverages, Inc/Mr. Coffee                 4135 ( -215)      3      3      4
   /Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules!/ --           +220 ( -115)      2      4      4
   /The Bartender/Mixed-up Mixers/ --      -725 ( -240)      0      0      0
   /Baphomet/Knights Templar/Art Pendragon -505 ( +135)      1      0      0
   /Drake/Drake's Comics/ --               (Not Declared)
   
*Merced Mafia/the Mun                      5420 ( -350)      4      3      9
   /The Mun/All-Star Nanas/Anje            +690 (  -80)      2      3      6
   /Sub-Dude/Dream Teams/Campy             -250 ( -120)      0      0      2
   /DJ Nth/Fun fun Ha Ha/Prophet of Nth    -150 ( -150)      0      0      1
   /Centari/Cheap Thrills/Dirth Flores     +155 (  -55)      0      0      0
   /Daehir/Dur Edhel/ --                    -90 (  +45)      2      0      0
   
*Vendett@UNITED/CFH                        4170 ( -295)      0      1      0
   /CFH/Rat Salad/Baby                     +250 (   DF)      0      0      0
   /Goat/The Jesuits/Wryd                   +25 (  +85)      0      1      0
   /Abraxis/Drew's Crew/Kate              -1010 ( -380)      0      0      0
   /VooDoo/Kill@Will/ --                     NF (   DF)     --     --     --
   /Jorja/Middle Way 3/ --                 (No cert, Not Declared)

*61st Precept/31 OP                        5395 (   +5)      0      3      0
   /31 OP/The Federation/ Bellana Torres   +380 (   DF)      0      2      0
   /Skullagrim/Skeleton Key/ --               0 (   +0)      0      1      0

**Alliance Standings:
   High Score       Land Of Oz (925)        The Bear's Paw (730
   Awd/Honors       The Bear's Paw (9)      All-Star Nana's/M.O.F (6)
   Stylemasters     The Bear's Paw (10)     Several Tied (4 each)
   Kills            The Bear's Paw (6)      Several Tied (2 each)

**Warrior Standings:
   High Score       Hourglass (700)         Bear Acuda (650)
   Awd/Honors       Honey Bear (6)          100% Col/Cup o'Cat (4)
   Stylemasters     Courage/Bear Acuda (4 each)

*  *  * The Mr. Coffee Awards *  *  *
**Most Kills, Warrior: (All tied at *one*)
Sugar Cube          Mike                    100% Columbian
Oski                Maloney                 Lissuin
Witchcraze          Balki                   Illis
Ghostfire           Humbug                  Cup of Cat
Leviathon of Lard

**Highest W/L/K, Team:
1.  Mystic Orc Feast        19- 6-2     7.  Darque Forces        12-13-2
2.  All Star Nana's         16- 8-2     8.  Dur Edhel             8-17-0
3.  Land of Oz              16- 8-1     9.  Skeleton Key          8-17-0
4.  Second Bananas          14-10-0     10. Drew's Crew           7-18-0
5.  Sretsamleud             13-12-2     11. The Middle Way 3      6-14-0
6.  Coffee Rules!           12-12-2     12.  Mixed up Mixers      3-22-0

     SCOMSS have come from 4th place to take the lead, partly thanks to a "static"
turn for the VC.  Bev., Inc. and Vendett@UNITED are still nearly neck-a-neck in the
race to be first in the 3000's.
     So it goes folks...turn #6 is now over, and we shall see in roughly four months
which alliance REALLY rules North Fork!

                    Bloody Sands!
                         Asmo Dius, TCB

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                                NORTH FORK YELLOW RAG

     Here we go again.  News is N*A*S*T*Y!!!  Four warriors lost their lives last
turn.  Our condolences to Neeva, Bellilaud, Java Queen and Angry Dragon.  As well,
our sympathies to their respective teams and managers.
     I know, the question is...who's doing most of the killing here in our Beloved
Swamp?  Last turn, majority of it came from Slugbait!!!  And just so you know folks,
(and you can quote that you heard it here!), Slugbait also won the Jhans Death Fest!
So, he's known for offing as many of his opponents as he can.
     Are ya'll ready?  Only two...count 'em if you don't believe me...two comprums
last turn.  We had 32 challenges go through.  The rest well...c'mon folks!  Figure it
out.  One and one is four!  One wins, one dies and then there's four bloodfeuds.
Yeah, I know...strange match...call it Boolean Algebra.
     Now, I've kept tack of whom is challenging whom and would you believe more
managers challenge Vendetta Cartel Members than any other alliance?  Could be because
they just don't like them, find them ore competitive (although Spawn keeps
challenging my team!) or find they are easy victims.  Don't know for sure, but...
that's the way it is.
     And would you believe the Chicken Little of the Month is Oz?  Yes...he avoids
the Knights Templar more than any other team!  Don't believe it?  Ask Zontani!
     Okay, Eddie the Gimp has two legs.  And, it appears one of his feet is stuck in
his mouth.  Personally, I don't know the guy.  And, I actually find his column funny.
Anything that binds someone's boxers like he does Kat's is funny stuff.  Of course, I
think Eddie's gonna wind up getting buried in a stinky litterbox before Kat's through
with him.
     Okay, awards for this month:

Good Sport Award to Oz.  I've been ragging on him and he always takes it in good fun.

Whiner of the Month:  Eddie The Gimp.  C'mon dude...take a chill!!!  My column's not
meant to be taken seriously.  It's a "joke" dude!

Best Manager Award is a split between Mannequin and Spawn for 5-0-0 turns and
Slugbait for his 4-1-2 turn.  Well done, fellas.  Now, step aside and let me get
some!!!

Funniest P-ad goes to Rondol Quiglo.  Believe me dude...fat folksmake me queasy too.
Especially when it's spelled Phat-Phat!

     Okay, I've made enough enemies for this turn.  Until next time...just
remember...it ain't personal...it's just business.

                    Baphomet, TCB

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                           The North Fork Monthly Examiner

     "Greetings once again."
     "Last turn Kat said some things that kind of confused us.  He said, "'Bob and
Eddie -- When you win something, come crying back and maybe we'll talk. -- The Calico
of Compassion, Kat'  OK that is all nice and everything but, what do you want us to
win?  Well I guess Kat is dumber then he looks.  Have you not been paying attention?
I guess that we will have to do some explaining and most likely go into some of our
history."
     "First off just so you know, we are not Managers, we are not warriors and we
don't fight at all.  Although Eddy can use his gimpy leg pretty good as a club.  I
guess the only award that we could get would be the spy reporters golden quill award.
But alas we cannot receive that either.  We were both kicked out of the spy
reporter's guild some time ago.  I was kicked out because of some of the things that
I said about a prominent Manager.  He talked to the Gladiatorial Commission and had
me kicked out of the guild.  Now Eddy, he also did something similar, but he said
some things about someone a little higher up.  That someone wasn't too happy and she
was the one who gave Eddy that gimpy leg.  Now I can't tell you who she is but let me
put it this way, she is the top dog in Alastari.  So I think that you can guess who
it was, but you didn't hear if from me."
     "After we were both kicked out of the guild we met up and we got a job as
independent team spotlight writers in Murska.  Now that was some time ago.  After
letting every one in Murska know how bad they really were, the townspeople and
managers and warriors didn't like us too well and they caught us off guard and put us
in the cave.  That is the one that we talked about in our first team spotlight.  When
we were let out we found the note and money to come here and do the same thing that
we did in Murska.  So we were guessing that the person who hired us must be someone
who was in Murska while we were there."
     "Wait a minute there Bob.  What if Kat hired us and is now trying to pick a
fight with us to take the suspicion off of him."
     "Good point Eddy.  I did think of that too.  But then that would give too much
credit to Kat and I just don't think that he is that smart."
     "We hope that this explains why we can't win an award."
     "Now crying.  We don't cry."
     "Well Bob, there was that one time when I got mad at you and used my gimpy leg
and hit you right in the nuts.  You sure did cry then.  I thought it was pretty
funny."
     "Kat, I guess what we are saying is bring it on.  We are not going to win
anything and we are not going to cry.  So do your best.  Or are you scared of us?
Two quill pushers.  One with a gimpy leg.  I mean that is just sad.  So let us know
what you think.  You know that we don't care what you think, but I'm sure that there
is someone out there that might care."

     "Until next month."
          Bob the Bard & Eddy the Gimp

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     The swamp reverberated with the sound of Voo-Doo's cry, "No!"
     No sooner had Marais's head been dragged under the swamp than the painted one
threw himself prone and began to kick and scream.  To Goat he looked like nothing
more than a two year old throwing a temper tantrum.
     Suddenly the swamp began to bubble.  It looked almost as if the swamp were
boiling.  Then the creature that had grabbed Marais surfaced, thrashing wildly.
Soon, it lay still. 
     Goat could see something wrapped around the creature's throat.  Marais's head
came up and she slowly unwrapped her tongue from around the creature's neck.
     Voo-Doo's sobs turned to sniffles as he wiped the tears from his eyes, then he
held his arms out to the karragit. 
     Goat raised his arms and a glowing sphere surrounded the pair.  The two
dissipated in a flash and Goat was left standing in the swamp holding ABRAXIS's
precious mud.  The cry of 'no' had now been replaced by Goat's musical laughter.

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 497): TOXIK of KILLING FLOOR (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 495): CROUCHING TIGER of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 491): RUTHLESS of TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 491): AMBROSIUS of BLACKHEART'S AXE (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 489): SIGIL CAMISADO of BALANCE OF TERROR (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 488): ADARA AL ZAHRA of JAGUAR WARRIORS (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 244): GALENA of BOXOROX (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 480): ENOSHIMA of BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 242): LUCKY 7 of NUMBERS GAME (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 477): SOLAR MAN of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 475): STRAY of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 468): GWALCHMAI of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 431): DESPAIR of HELL'S PAWNS (Harbinger, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 219): ZINDELLA AZRON of MOJO P@TROL (Master Voodoo, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 213): CUP OF CAT of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 200): TOM SMITH DISEASE of STRANGE TUNES (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 356): BROKEN TOE of REDHORSE (Mila, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 336): TAIL IN THE AIR of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 149): MIGHTY CUT-UP of PERFECTION QUEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 381): WOUNDWORT of DARKMOON from RIZTAB (Bobby Bigfoot)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 497): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 495): THE LAWMEN (Marshal D?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 491): TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 491): PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 489): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 488): JAGUAR WARRIORS (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 244): OTTO'S MECHANICS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 480): EQUESTORS (Spartacus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 242): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 477): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 475): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 468): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 431): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 219): VENDETTA INC. (Goat, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 213): MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 200): DRUID'S GROVE (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 356): BAD APPLES (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 336): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 149): DEMONIC (?, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 381): DARKENED PRIDE, etc. (Ultraist, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 497): INSOMNIAC of DSM4 (The Sandman, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 495): BATAAKAPPU of POWERPUFF GIRLS (The Narrator, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 489): KARO LEE of MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 243): CIARAN POWER of 50TH MILK RAS (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
                          STUPID SMILEY of IDIOTIC ICCERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 479): COOKIE of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 242): LUCKY 7 of NUMBERS GAME (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
                               SUBOTAI of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                   (turn 241): DIXIE SCUM of LOONY TOONS (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 474): LUCKY LADY HAMMER of CASINO HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 431): DESPAIR of HELL'S PAWNS (Harbinger, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 218): SUNFLASH of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 213): CUP OF CAT of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
                   (turn 212): HONEY BEAR of THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 199): MAEGOLOS of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 356): CAPTAIN CAVEMAN of LAFFALYMPICS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 149): MIGHTY CUT-UP of PERFECTION QUEST (Mannequin, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored 
bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is FEATHERS FLYIN', who swept up 12 places in the 
ranks.  Take a look at AVENGER HAMMERZ's act, as they have a 3-2-0 week and gain 11 
places in the team ranking.  Suffering under a 1-4-0 record and dropping from 10th to 
23rd place were the ROYAL FLUSH.  Keep trying!  It looks like the guys(?) at OLD 
HABITS had a good week as they went 4-1-0 to put them in 20th place.  I guess 
steroids help!  Hey everybody, watch out for SHELDON, who flew up 24 points in the 
rankings after mashing MUTUS BRAXIMUS like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  MUTUS BRAXIMUS lost to 
SHELDON and drops 18 points.  Drawing on all of hers experience as a 19-10-0 warrior, 
GREGOLA went for the Duelmastership against CUP OF CAT this week.  Well, everybody's 
pal CUP OF CAT moved his record to 16-10-1 by defeating GREGOLA in the Duelmaster's 
Title Bout and gaining 16 recognition points.  4 out of 5 gladiators surveyed protect 
the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the 
big, bad MY DAY?  Big bad MY DAY.  Big bad MY DAY.  NORTH FORK's afraid of the big 
bad MY DAY.  Tra la la la la!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch ROYAL FLUSH's 
act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from MY DAY.  And 
who is this FOLMOR GRIGG you ask, with 90 points and a 20-30-0 record.  Ooh, the 
tales I could tell!  In a mismatch, our friend ART PENDRAGON of KNIGHTS TEMPLAR got 
heroic notions and challenged FOLMOR GRIGG.  What did it get him?  A 5-4-0 record, 
that's what.  This week ART PENDRAGON 5-4-0 fought FOLMOR GRIGG 20-30-0 and in losing 
gained 2 points.  I know several gladiators who could go for a few fights like that.  
Well, it looks like PAULA BONES wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so she went for 
broke by challenging up 26 points.  No guts, no glory.  A Carrion Bird Sellout:  
PAULA BONES 16-9-1 fights BEAR ACUDA 11-6-1.  (BYOB) HUGR of THE JESUITS had better 
have a good reason for challenging down 15 points in a challenge which he lost.  I 
thought HUGR showed great skill and promise when he was defeated by YLW JACKET 
HAMMER.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Well, the arena is no place for slow 
learners (and hopefully T.P.s) and FRUSTRATION demonstrated that very violently on 
QUEEN OF DENIAL's body.  In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, PAUL BEARER was 
mashed by LATTE, who let PAUL BEARER know that killing members of COFFEE RULES! is a 
no-no.  Congrats to SCOTT for revenging the death of his teammate (but more 
importantly, feeding CRISTER MOFFEE a bit of dirt).  Ask not the elves for counsel, 
for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  See ya next time I'm on this 
circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEAR ACUDA 4995              11   6  1   128       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRUSTRATION 5067             11   2  1   104       MY DAY (557)
 KALYPSO 3603                 17  12  0    96       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 KING CRAB 4983               12   7  0    93       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 GREGOLA 5101                 19  11  0    91       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DEEP FRIED LARD 4975         17   4  0    91       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOLMOR GRIGG 4501            20  30  0    90       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 PAULA BONES 4414             16   9  1    90       SKELETON KEY (493)
 RAINBOW 4553                 13   9  0    84       LAND OF OZ (217)
-CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634          14  14  0    82       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 LATTE 4667                   19  14  0    81       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 MASS STUPIDITY 5068          12   1  0    81       MY DAY (557)
 COURAGE 4552                 11  10  1    80       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ACE BAILEY 4948              11  13  0    78       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PROPHET OF NTH 5215           2   2  0    77       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 THE FISHER KING 5104         14  16  1    71       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 JENNA 5099                   10   4  3    69       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 HOURGLASS 5127               10   1  0    69       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561        11  10  0    62       SKELETON KEY (493)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            5   4  0    60       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113        9   4  1    56       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SHELDON 4111                  6   2  1    56       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 HUMBUG 5199                   5   2  1    56       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WITCHCRAZE 5201               5   2  1    54       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 IVAN POISY 5112               7   6  0    51       SPOONERTIKS (523)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WYRD 5167                     6   2  0    51       THE JESUITS (524)
-YOHAN GENE 5165               4   3  0    49       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
-LAYTON 5098                   7   5  1    48       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 DONAVAN 4112                  6   2  0    48       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 LEPPADA 2257                 10  17  0    47       TREBORS (232)
 BEAR NEKKID 5126              7   4  0    46       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 MAHARA 2656                   7   7  1    45       TREBORS (232)
 ANJE 4109                     6   2  0    45       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197         4   1  0    44       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 CORPULENT CORPSE 5250         5   1  0    42       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DASTER MARQUE 5196            4   1  0    41       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137        5   0  0    40       OLD HABITS (566)
 ELDHWEN 5236                  4   2  0    40       DUR EDHEL (579)
 MUTUS BRAXIMUS 5095           9   5  3    35       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978            6  15  0    35       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAUL BEARER 5187              4   3  2    33       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-RODEKI 5208                   4   1  0    33       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 BURNS 5190                    4   2  0    33       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-NICOLAS ANDRE 5166            3   4  0    33       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 BALKI 5193                    3   3  1    32       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SCOTT 5299                    3   1  0    31       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 KOZYTA 2640                   7   7  2    30       TREBORS (232)
 TEN C-0 METER 5141            5   3  0    30       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BABY 5224                     5   1  0    29       RAT SALAD (577)
 YLW JACKET HAMMER 5329        2   0  0    29       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
-THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       5   1  0    28       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235            3   3  0    27       LAND OF OZ (217)
 KRAMER 5191                   3   2  0    27       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 NORTON 5192                   4   2  0    26       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148              4   4  0    26       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 KENSAI 5267                   2   2  0    26       RAT SALAD (577)
-JEAN-LUC DELPECH 5089         5   6  0    25       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 FAT-BOY 5221                  4   1  0    25       RAT SALAD (577)
 FILTHY SANCHEZ 5244           3   2  0    25       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 CUTTIN ON WAX 5216            3   1  0    25       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 DIRTY FLORES 5245             2   3  0    25       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 MISFORTUNE COOKIE 5275        2   3  0    25       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-BRONS 5150                    3   3  0    24       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAYHEM 5066                   4   9  0    23       MY DAY (557)
 LUD BIGHT 5283                3   1  0    23       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-GREEDY 5223                   3   2  0    23       RAT SALAD (577)
 B.B. CROSS 5323               2   0  0    23       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 CURSESHOCK 5234               3   3  0    22       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 HALLE BEARY 5312              1   2  0    22       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262     1   1  0    22       OLD HABITS (566)
-DREW 4993                     5   5  1    21       DREWS CREW (546)
 HAWKEYE HAMMER 5061           2   7  0    21       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
-DA TING 5129                  1   0  0    21       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-GET THE POINT? 5097           3   4  0    19       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 MANANA 5241                   2   3  0    19       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 FREEZE DRIED 5308             2   1  0    19       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-AHURA MAZDA 5152              1   5  1    19       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 HUGR 5170                     4   4  2    18       THE JESUITS (524)
-KATE 4992                     4   6  0    18       DREWS CREW (546)
 CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318         2   0  0    18       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 FOR A GOOD TIME 5317          1   2  0    18       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 RAGNAROK 5169                 4   4  1    17       THE JESUITS (524)
-ESTADIEU 5205                 3   1  0    17       BORDEAUX - SAINTES (561)
 MINOR BLUE 5326               2   0  0    17       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRED BEAR 5348                1   0  0    17       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 DISIR 5168                    4   3  1    16       THE JESUITS (524)
 DRASTARDY DAKE 5198           2   3  0    16       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 COYOTE 5316                   3   0  0    15       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 A.D. 5305                     3   0  0    15       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 SISTER MARY ELEPHANT 5219     2   2  1    15       OLD HABITS (566)
 GALDR 5171                    3   4  1    14       THE JESUITS (524)
 KATIE 5337                    2   0  0    14       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 VISCIOUSNESS 5251             1   4  0    14       MY DAY (557)
-BONSUR 5210                   3   2  0    13       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 SISTER SLEDGE 5341            1   0  0    13       OLD HABITS (566)
-FE MALE 5211                  3   1  0    12       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 CRISTER MOFFEE 5289           2   2  1    12       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
-SIR GAWAIN 5149               1   5  0    12       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 NIN QUIRE 5281                3   2  0    11       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-OSWALD 5285                   2   1  0    11       DREWS CREW (546)
 KELSO 5324                    1   1  0    11       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 SISTER CHRISTIAN 5340         1   0  0    11       OLD HABITS (566)
 A LITTLE BABY 5214            3   1  0    10       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 FLYING CAMEL 5350             1   0  0    10       CHEAP THRILLS (580)
 O'LIMEY B. RIELLY 5302        2   1  0     9       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 WASTED EFFORT 5153            1   6  0     9       MY DAY (557)
 SWEET N LOW 5306              1   2  0     9       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 AMELA BUNDERSON 5339          1   1  0     8       SKELETON KEY (493)
-DARKHOLM 5298                 2   1  0     7       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 DUDE DUKE 5314                2   1  0     7       SKELETON KEY (493)
 SHE HULK HAMMER 5328          2   0  0     7       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
 WHEELS OF STEEL 5217          1   3  1     7       FUN FUN HA HA (576)
 CLAVIN 5338                   1   1  0     7       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 NASTA 5297                    1   3  0     6       DUR EDHEL (579)
 HELLUIN 5237                  0   6  0     6       DUR EDHEL (579)
-LEWIS 5286                    1   2  0     5       DREWS CREW (546)
-MIMI 5284                     1   2  0     5       DREWS CREW (546)
 JACK & JILL 5310              1   2  0     5       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PELLA REES 5280               0   5  0     5       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 CHRIS COLUMBUS 5319           1   1  0     4       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321         1   1  0     4       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 JAY 5327                      1   1  0     4       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 GEORGE BUSH 5320              1   1  0     4       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-MARRED TEENY 5291             0   3  0     3       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-3 MI. ISLE COFFEE 5334        0   1  0     3       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
-MOTH LITE 5290                0   3  0     3       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 WASP HAMMER 5330              0   2  0     2       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
-TALCAMA 5313                  0   2  0     2       STRETSAMLEUD (575)
 WHITE SETTLER 5322            0   2  0     2       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 FALCON HAMMER 5331            0   2  0     2       AVENGER HAMMERZ (556)
 CAFE AU LAIT 5344             0   1  0     1       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-FASTDRAW 5315                 0   1  0     1       RAT SALAD (577)
 ICEWRAITH 5346                0   1  0     1       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 BEHIR 5345                    0   1  0     1       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-DAMING FLRAMBUIE 5335         0   1  0     1       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)
 SARA F. 5349                  0   1  0     1       SKELETON KEY (493)
-LID BUTE 5333                 0   1  0     1       MIXED-UP MIXERS (558)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MIKE 4110              1  3 1 ALL-STAR NANA'S 457   BALKI 5193            210 NOT REVE
AARON 5300             0  1 0 ALL-STAR NANA'S 457   CRISTER MOFFEE 5289   211 JUST REV
BELLILAUD 5204         3  1 0 BORDEAUX - SAINTE 561 HUMBUG 5199           213         
THE TONY DANZA 5242    1  1 0 CHEAP THRILLS 580     SISTER MARY ELEP 5219 211         
ANGRY DRAGON 5243      3  1 0 CHEAP THRILLS 580     LEVIATHAN OF LAR 5113 213         
EMPTY CUP #3 5343      0  1 0 COFFEE RULES! 505     MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     214 NONE    

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
JAVA QUEEN 5294        1  2 0 COFFEE RULES! 505     PAUL BEARER 5187      213 JUST REV
BARISTA 5295           0  1 0 COFFEE RULES! 505     RAGNAROK 5169         211 REVENGED
NEEVA 3670            18  9 1 DARQUE FORCES 396     CUP OF CAT 4926       213 NONE    
HALATIR 5296           1  3 0 DUR EDHEL 579         HIGH ELF 19           214 NONE    
TALOTSO 5336           0  2 0 DUR EDHEL 579         BANDIT PRINCE 25      214 NONE    
LISSUIN 5238           2  2 1 DUR EDHEL 579         ILLIS 5207            212 REVENGED
GROND 5240             1  1 0 DUR EDHEL 579         OSKI 5206             210 REVENGED
NEER BEAR 5073         4  3 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   HUGR 5170             212         
PUDWEISER 5074         0  3 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   AHURA MAZDA 5152      210 NOT REVE
TARRED MEANY 5115      2  1 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558   WITCHCRAZE 5201       210 NOT REVE
BIGFACE 5292           0  1 0 RAT SALAD 577         WHEELS OF STEEL 5217  211 JUST REV
QUEEN OF DENIAL 4896  12 15 0 ROYAL FLUSH 48        FRUSTRATION 5067      214         
IGNATOWSKI 5274        0  3 0 SECOND BANANAS 573    GHOSTFIRE 5304        212 NONE    
OSKI 5206              1  2 1 STRETSAMLEUD 575      LISSUIN 5238          211 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Slugbait -- Keep up those tendencies and I will begin to believe you have something
personal against my LUs.  That's the second one you have killed and then graduated
without a BF in the last 6 months.  However, that is the nature of the game we play.
-- Master Darque

All -- Neeva LU 9+1-15-14-21-9-6-11.  I know she would have made a better ST, but
this is one of my oldest teams and she was one that I designed myself when I had no
idea what I was doing.  Worked out pretty well despite Poor Endurance.  Seemed to be
a Riposte learner and SH fave, but I'll never know unless she comes back in a dead
tourney (doubtful because I have better dead to try and get back). -- Master Darque

Asmo -- Witchcraze is my new champ.  I also have 2 new warriors entering the TWIII,
but their names escape me at the moment.  Maybe Ed. can help me out?!? -- Master
Darque

     Sorry, I don't work from the office, so I don't have access to that information.
     -- Ed.

*AD* -- Where were you a few turns ago when GIANT MAN HAMMER was Killed in the Dark
Arena along with 3 other AVENGER HAMMERZ stable mates?  Then it took a couple of
months for the newsletter to arrive over here in Qatar with the replacements and the
subsequent turn around time to get them registered with RSI to fight in the Turf War.
WASP HAMMER is AVENGER HAMMERZ officially registered Champion for the Turf War! --
Hammer/Vendetta Cartel

Mr Coffee -- Received your Snail Mail letter on Wednesday July 28th here in Qatar.
Took 9 days to arrive according to the postmark.  Good to read and re-read your
correspondence!  Am writing another reply over the course of the next few days and
will send Snail Mail when finished.  LUCKY LADY HAMMER managed to Graduate from DM 33
on T-475 which makes my 17th overall Graduate and my 4th Ripper.  In 7+ years there
have been other glads from my stables who were within a few turns of Graduation
before being Slain on the Tourney or Basic Arena Sands!  Then there were those other
potential Graduates who were in stables that were Deactivated or Deleted for one
reason or another due to real life situations intruding upon my stables' financial
ability to continue active participation in various arenas across Alastari.  Yet
through it all I have managed to continue promoting contests and running stables in
various arenas.  Good to hear from you, my friend! -- Hammer

Mr. Coffee -- Though it was her dance, you have my condolences over the loss of Java
Queen.  Paul Bearer isn't such a hospitable dancer after all. -- The Russian Blue of
Remorse, Kat

Ivan Poisy -- Ok, seems like we have a fair balance here.  Touche, and nice fight. --
Kat

O'Limey B. Rielly -- Shame on you for trying to disfigure poor Halle's face like
that.  Bad Irish boy! -- The Siamese of Scold, Kat

Feathers Flyin' -- Welcome to North Fork! -- Kat, mgr. "The Bear's Paw"

Manna -- Thanks for the skill.  Nice defensive moves. -- Wyrd

Jack and Jill -- Yes, that was a Royal Flush I was holding. -- Galdr

Marred Teeny -- Ouch, I thought maybe you would be one of them scum types.  Glad I
was wrong. -- Hugr
P.S.  Keep on trying.

Rodeki -- I should have known you were not running a decise modified strat.  Thanks
for that one skill. -- Disir

Coffee Rules -- All that experience, I was hoping you would at least kill him.  I
will give you the points for skills.  Columbian huh. -- The Jesuits

Fighting Tree -- A sapling you are!  I'm sending a big old Lumber Jack at you. --
Goat

Skully -- Declare for our alliance; we need your talent.  The Axe Man sends his
greetings.  The Australian Dog sends his fleas and howls.  There are only two trees
left in the forest; no kindling in sight.  What arena are you currently fighting in
besides 47?  I'm also going to DM 59 for the Death Fest contest.  I have two that are
in training.  Still waiting on rollups.  "May the flame burn brite!" -- Goat

Vendett@United -- Send your fight info.  I will be concentrating on the Charlies from
here on out.  I have two beginners that I am taking to Hammerz contest.  Hope to see
you there. -- Goat

Bob The Bard and Eddy the Three Legged Gimp -- You crack me up!  I am sure that if
you both had stables fighting in 47 you would be the most challenged by the V.C.
They do have a lead on us.  Might is right.  Your prose is perfect for this arena!
Eddy, how about a set of braces to help you out with the trick knee? -- The Jesuits

Kalypso -- You were too much for me.  I had the courage, but apparently little else.
-- Courage

Frustration -- A great challenge, Buddy.  You not only frustrated me, but you got my
pot of gold. -- Rainbow

Yohan -- In some circles, that is what is called getting wasted.  And you are such a
stud doing it. (wink) -- Hourglass

Jean-Luc -- I'll bet that surprised you, huh?  Didn't think a tree could do that,
huh?  That's why they call me a... -- Fighting Tree

Bordeaux -- Saintes, you made the challenge!  And now Bellilaud is dead.  I didn't
mean to be so bad, but wow, that is a lot of points for the SCMOSS Fellowship.  I'm
proud, but sad. -- Humbug

Great round, Fellowshippers!  Well done, SCOMMSS!  Three of top five teams on the
move!  Duelmaster, Recognition, Popularity, Favorite, etc, etc.  Top two and three of
five W/L/K teams!  That's "forking" them!  Life is good in North Fork. -- Oz The All-
Praising

King Crab -- Your "real men don't fluff their coffee" was the best personal of the
round.  Well done! -- Oz The All-chuckling

Mr. Coffee -- Good competition indeed.  And great fellowship.  It has been so for a
while. -- Oz The All-Enlightning

Cup of Cat -- Good luck and congratulations on your invite. -- Oz The All-Proud

AD -- Please add CAFE Au Lait to my stable.  And Empty Cup #3. -- Mr. Coffee

Phat Phat -- That Talcama fight was interesting. -- Mr. Coffee

Ragnarok -- You're a good sport; hope you enjoyed the learns. -- Latte

Dark Champion -- You're champion once again. -- Shade of Empty Cup #2

Halatir -- You were handy. -- Freeze Dried

Paul Bearer -- That was just not nice at all.  Poor Java Queen was a 13-7-9-13-17(1)-
12-15(1) Striker cut down before her time. -- Mr. Coffee
P.S.  Coffee always bloodfeuds!

King Crab -- You're quite right.  Real men drink coffee and allow others to do the
fluffing, but it pays the bills. -- Latte

Hammer -- Received your letter--return letter en route. -- Mr. Coffee

Kat -- I appreciate your congrats. -- Mr. Coffee

Skullagrim -- A yellow dog ripping out your throat still hurts even if its coat is
golden. -- Mr. Coffee

Oz The Amused -- Happy to hear we gave you a chuckle. -- Baphomet, the Laugh Doctor
(although, they're usually laughing at me rather than with me!)

Mr. Coffee -- You're probably right, but...this turn was a positive one and I imagine
the rest will be also. -- Baphomet, keeping his fingers crossed

Asmo -- Stop calculating my negative points.  Appears my allies are getting a little
perturbed at me for losing so often. -- Baphomet, TCB
P.S.  Now that Art's T.V. has been posted, how do we calculate his points?  Or, does
he just get 50 points as a "stylemaster?"

Skullagrim -- I appreciate what you've said, but when it comes to moving into a new
bracket, I have to take the best route.  It's not like I'm targeting your team.  CFH
would be one to complain about that (although, he's won most of them!). -- Baphomet

Prophet of Nth -- I thought prophets were supposed to see the future.  I guess you
couldn't change it though! -- Art Pendragon

Lud Bight -- I'd tell ya what you could bight, but it'd get edited! -- Sir Galahad

Spawn -- I'm not sure what I did to invite you to pound of my team, but it's getting
to be a habit.  I'd threaten you, but these bums couldn't hold up to it (grin). --
Baphomet

Wasp Hammer -- How did you like my sting? -- B.B. Cross

Darkholm -- Man, the match-up was all you, buddy. -- Jay

Dude Duke -- We'll have to try that again sometime, perhaps when I'm a little better
prepared. -- Kelso

For A Good Time -- Call it what you want but I had a good time, how about that parry?
-- Minor Blue

Old Buddy -- Howdy old buddy, told you I would drop in and have some fun.  Not sure
which handle you go by here so just thought I'd drop you a line.  Definitely
recognize some of the teams here, look forward to putting some hurt on. -- Tuff Stuff

Turf War Tuffies -- This is the first time in months that I have received a DM 47
newsletter prior to the next duedate [still have NOT received the T-212 newsletter!]
so I am now able to write some informed P-ads from the results of the T-213 fights
before the Monday duedate!  Received the T-213 newsletter on Wednesday August 4th and
am writing these from the internet cafe on Friday August 6th.  May as well add a few
more P-ads to one of the more vocally expressive P-ad arenas as the Turf War heads
down the stretch! -- Hammer

Burns -- Hammer says it is time for a Strategy Tweak!  He also says that if it were
NOT for my being his Favorite Style that I would be fighting by Torch Light for my
Learning Deficiency! -- Hawkeye Hammer
P.S.  Congratulations on your Successful Challenge at My Expense!

Wheels Of Steel -- Guess I showed Hammer that I should have been named the Champion
for our stable!  Hammer says to consistently prove him wrong then!  Thanks for the
Skills! -- Ylw Jacket Hammer

Coyote -- Hammer was so impressed that I actually survived this match up that he took
a special interest in revamping my strategy for the next cycle!  Now Avoid Me,
Pilgrim! -- Falcon Hammer
P.S.  Congratulations on your victory!  Use those Skills to go defeat someone else!

Talotso -- Hammer knows what I am made of and wonders how you were able to be
defeated so unexpectedly?  Could be why I was NOT put to the Torch Light?  Stay Away
from Me! -- She Hulk Hammer

B B Cross -- Then Hammer looks at my fight and wonders why I did NOT defeat you?
Probably because he anointed me to be the Champion of our stable?  At Least there are
NO Torch Light Fights in My Future! -- Wasp Hammer

Turf War Tuffies -- Just trying to add some points to the Vendetta Cartel lead
instead of losing ground!  Could use some New Team Roll Ups for a better stable to
run in North Fork! -- Hammer

Asmo Dius -- From reading your TW3 #4 am I to comprehend from your paragraph For
Everyone Else that the next Turf War will be in DM 47 because you changed the Prize
in mid contest!  After all it is your contest and you are free to do so!  Credibility
suffers just a bit, but it is your contest!  There seems to be a general consensus
that the Turf War should STAY in North Fork!  It is by that consensus that I plan to
roll up a New Team for DM 47 that shall remain on a more permanent basis should this
be the case in the future?  Anyway, what is a contest without controversy? -- Hammer
P.S.  No Opposition from me regarding using the extra certs to cover Firehawk and
Jorja!

Asmo -- Since Illis died I declare Rodeki as my Champ. -- Phat Phat

Lewis -- Would it help if I said sorry??? -- A.D.

Halle Beary -- Careful where you swing that...you *might* hurt someone with it!! --
O'Limey B

Sir Galahad -- A brave effort, but bearly you just cannot hack your cleer. -- Lud
Bight

Bear Nekkid -- Aha.  How do I repeat the 'parry off chest, riposte' combo??  Not sure
how I did it, but I'll take the win (and the points!), ta! -- Ivan P

Anje -- Don't know why you decided to have a rest there...you were doing so well.  Oh
well...thanks! -- Mutus B

Oz-the-All-Powerful -- Your spell seems to have worked wonders!  May it always be as
successful in the future! -- Mannequin

Fellowshippers -- Congrats on our success this past turn!  We opened a serious can of
SCOMSS on the opposition.  May every turn shine so brightly upon us! -- Mannequin

Humbug -- No problem, it was a victory well-earned.  I just wish I would have worn
something a little more protective. -- Balki

Drew's Crew -- Our own alliance did more damage to us than you guys! -- Second
Bananas

Nicolas Andre -- I love your accent.  Say something dreamy. -- Nin Quire
P.S.  Folmor says I'll embarrass you that way, but what does HE know?  He's an old
fogey, anyway.  What's the point of wanting something and not telling anyone?  What
good does that do?  I'll bet even old Folmor can't come up with an answer to that
one.  So there!

Nin -- Wanting something and keeping your mouth shut builds character.  You should
try it. -- Folmor Grigg

Folmor -- I have a character already, so I don't need to build a new one. -- Nin

The Fisher King -- I was surprised to find that you were, or rather are, a woman, and
it (the shock) may have caused me to strike out with more force than I might
otherwise have used against such a fair opponent.  But this, too, builds character,
probably in both of us.  The way things seem to go, I figure most of us gladiators--
except for the hotshot win-alls--have characters that tower like the mountains. --
Folmor Grigg

Spawing of Spewn -- You're weird.  You have red hair, I wasn't ready for red hair.
And you have a weird name.  And your mother dresses you funny.  It makes me nervous,
which undermines my well-built character (that seems to be our theme today) and
causes me to lose fights even to really weird people like you. -- Rondol Quiglo

Cuttin On Wax -- I don't get your name.  Is it some kind of joke or saying?  Please
explain. -- Pella Rees
P.S.  I'm a Karragit, you see, and I just don't understand you land people.

Queen of Denial -- So did I.  I was the King of Naps.  It was the prefect job.  No
stress.... -- Folmor Grigg

Baphomet -- A fine piece of work.  A letter with more detail should be going out
sometime this week (I am an unreliable paper-mail correspondent, might as well face
that), along with a bunch of AD2 mini-overs. -- Jorja

Kat, the Darwinian Daggertooth -- Yes, well, herds always need thinning.  It's a
basic characteristic. -- Jorja

AD -- Please add Dude Duke, Amele Bunderson, Sara Fister to my team roster. --
Skeleton Key

AD -- If 31 does not pick up his turn next round I will be taking over as captain and
will be looking for alliance mates it it's not too late. -- Skullagrim

17 July 2004
I am currently trying to put together a favorites chart for AD warriors.  I
desperately need help with this.  What I need are style, favorite rhythm (ex.:
hi/low), favorite weapons, and tactics.  What would be great is if you could send me
a copy of the invite with the warrior's name, id#, and arena blacked out.  This way,
I can verify that this is an actual warrior.  Minis will work, too!

For those interested, I have both a challenge style vs. style and a match-up style
vs. style chart.  There's about 250 fights calculated in these charts, and I'll be
happy to send a copy to anyone who asks.  You can contact me (if you're a free world
player) at: Rick Stringer, Merit/East, SCI, P.O. Box 500, Georgetown, DE 19947-0500.
If you're in prison, just send a diplo to:  Baphomet, Mgr. Knights Templar (568), DM
#47--North Fork.  (I also have a lot of other charts and info for anyone who wants
it.)  Thanks!

30 July 2004
The total number of fights calculated was reported as 250 fights.  This is a
misprint.  It should have read "over 2,500 fights." -- Baphomet

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HALATIR was viciously butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TALOTSO was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 3 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
EMPTY CUP #3 was narrowly killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
LATTE bested PAUL BEARER in a 2 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
BABY subdued WHEELS OF STEEL in a 1 minute Bloodfeud competition.
SCOTT devastated CRISTER MOFFEE in a 3 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
ART PENDRAGON was viciously subdued by FOLMOR GRIGG in a 2 minute Challenge match.
GREGOLA was handily defeated by CUP OF CAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PAULA BONES was viciously subdued by BEAR ACUDA in a 2 minute Challenge Title duel.
THE FISHER KING lost to COURAGE in a exciting 2 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
WITCHCRAZE was overpowered by PROPHET OF NTH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
OSLOBEN BENBOBEN was narrowly defeated by RAINBOW in a 4 minute Challenge competition.
WYRD demolished FIGHTING TREE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
HUGR was overcome by YLW JACKET HAMMER in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
BURNS savagely defeated CURSESHOCK in a popular 1 minute bloody Challenge duel.
TEN C-0 METER was viciously subdued by DASTER MARQUE in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
LUD BIGHT was devastated by SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
DISIR luckily beat WASP HAMMER in a 2 minute brutal Challenge match.
AMELA BUNDERSON was outlasted by MISFORTUNE COOKIE in a 8 minute Challenge match.
CLAVIN was unbelievably bested by HAWKEYE HAMMER in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
A.D. won victory over SWEET N LOW in a 5 minute novice's Challenge match.
VISCIOUSNESS vanquished PELLA REES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
HALLE BEARY overpowered GALDR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
JACK & JILL was savagely defeated by SHE HULK HAMMER in a 11 minute Challenge duel.
FREEZE DRIED luckily beat MAYHEM in a 12 minute Challenge bout.
FAT-BOY slimly won victory over SIR GALAHAD in a 22 minute Challenge bout.
O'LIMEY B. RIELLY outlasted WASTED EFFORT in a slow 13 minute Challenge fight.
DUDE DUKE was viciously subdued by MINOR BLUE in a 7 minute novice's Challenge fray.
QUEEN OF DENIAL was luckily killed by  FRUSTRATION in a 3 minute brutal fight.
DEEP FRIED LARD was savagely defeated by KALYPSO in a 17 minute expert's bout.
ACE BAILEY lost to MASS STUPIDITY in a 4 minute mismatched fight.
KING CRAB demolished CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 2 minute mismatched match.
HOURGLASS beat LEVIATHAN OF LARD in a exciting 6 minute brutal veteran's fray.
JENNA viciously subdued IVAN POISY in a action packed 1 minute gory match.
BEAR NEKKID overpowered MANANA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MUTUS BRAXIMUS was handily defeated by SHELDON in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ANJE won victory over KOZYTA in a popular 1 minute match.
MAHARA savagely defeated NORTON in a action packed 8 minute bloody duel.
LEPPADA subdued DIRTY FLORES in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven conflict.
KRAMER was overpowered by DONAVAN in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
BALKI was overcome by SISTER MARY SARAH in a crowd pleasing 6 minute melee.
HUMBUG subdued CORPULENT CORPSE in a 1 minute match.
RONDOL QUIGLO overpowered HELLUIN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided battle.
ELDHWEN overpowered RAGNAROK in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SISTER MARY ELEPHANT was overpowered by B.B. CROSS in a 1 minute uneven competition.
DRASTARDY DAKE subdued GEORGE BUSH in a 1 minute match.
SISTER MARY CLARENCE handily defeated JAY in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
NIN QUIRE was demolished by FOR A GOOD TIME in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KENSAI handily defeated CHRIS COLUMBUS in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
FILTHY SANCHEZ savagely defeated A LITTLE BABY in a 4 minute novice's struggle.
CUTTIN ON WAX overpowered ICEWRAITH in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
COYOTE subdued CAFE AU LAIT in a popular 1 minute amateur's contest.
CLINTONLIKESBUSH luckily beat NASTA in a 3 minute gory amateur's duel.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN was overpowered by FRED BEAR in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
WHITE SETTLER was overpowered by KELSO in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FALCON HAMMER was viciously subdued by KATIE in a exciting 3 minute amateur's match.
SISTER SLEDGE overpowered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
SISTER CHRISTIAN overpowered BEHIR in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
SARA F. was vanquished by FLYING CAMEL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     20         TOTAL PARRY      109 -  64 -  1      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         WALL OF STEEL     65 -  56 -  2      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  19         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  17 -  1      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  14         AIMED BLOW        40 -  42 -  3      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 11         LUNGING ATTACK   100 - 106 - 11      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         SLASHING ATTACK   33 -  47 -  3      41  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         BASHING ATTACK    61 -  87 -  5      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         STRIKING ATTACK   65 -  94 -  8      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  26 -  2      32  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  25 -  0      29  |

Turn 214 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        5 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  6         6  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         5 -  4     LUNGING ATTACK     7 - 12         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY       11 -  9     BASHING ATTACK     5 -  9         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  9                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      BEAR ACUDA 4995            11   6  1  128 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
TOTAL PARRY      FRUSTRATION 5067           11   2  1  104 MY DAY (557)
WALL OF STEEL    KING CRAB 4983             12   7  0   93 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
AIMED BLOW       PAULA BONES 4414           16   9  1   90 SKELETON KEY (493)
SLASHING ATTACK  COURAGE 4552               11  10  1   80 LAND OF OZ (217)
BASHING ATTACK   JENNA 5099                 10   4  3   69 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
LUNGING ATTACK   ART PENDRAGON 5151          5   4  0   60 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
STRIKING ATTACK  WITCHCRAZE 5201             5   2  1   54 DARQUE FORCES (396)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    BEAR NEKKID 5126            7   4  0   46 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is BEAR ACUDA 4995.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113.  The ten other most popular fighters were FILTHY SANCHEZ 
5244, MAHARA 2656, SWEET N LOW 5306, BALKI 5193, KATIE 5337, OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561, 
MINOR BLUE 5326, BEAR ACUDA 4995, COURAGE 4552, and DASTER MARQUE 5196.

The least popular fighter this week was FAT-BOY 5221.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SIR GALAHAD 5148, JACK & JILL 5310, KALYPSO 3603, DEEP FRIED LARD 4975, 
SHE HULK HAMMER 5328, FREEZE DRIED 5308, O'LIMEY B. RIELLY 5302, DUDE DUKE 5314, 
MISFORTUNE COOKIE 5275, and SARA F. 5349.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

CUP OF CAT (47-4926) MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

               NEW TEAMS IN THE TEMPORARY TOURNAMENT ARENAS (DM 81/83)

Please note that all new teams created at the Face-to-Face were temporarily placed 
in a temporary Tournament Arena, DM 81 or DM 83.  If you requested that your team be 
placed in a specific arena, it has already transferred to that arena.  Any teams not 
transferred out of DM 81 and DM 83 by October 1st will be deleted.  If you have 
questions about any of your teams, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI