DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 12/28/2004 Duedate: 01/24/2005 SCOMSS SWAMP ARENA DM-47 TURN-219 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS COURAGE LAND OF OZ (217) (47-4552) [16-10-1,129] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader COURAGE GREEDY LAND OF OZ (217) RAT SALAD (577) (47-4552) [16-10-1,129] (47-5223) [5-2-0,44] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite LEPPADA KENSAI TREBORS (232) RAT SALAD (577) (47-2257) [13-19-0,58] (47-5267) [2-4-0,17] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM LAND OF OZ (217) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 58 2. TOMBSTONE (555) 51 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 3. LAND OF OZ (217) 48 Unchartered Team 4. NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) 38 5. NEMESIS (32) 38 TOMBSTONE (555) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*TOMBSTONE (555) 4 1 0 80.0 1/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217) 13 2 0 2/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 250 151 20 62.3 2/ 4 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) 9 5 0 3/ 8*FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) 19 12 3 61.3 3/ 6*FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) 8 5 1 4/ 4 SPOONERTIKS (523) 102 65 7 61.1 4/ 5 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 8 6 1 5/ 1 OLD HABITS (566) 23 15 1 60.5 5/ 2 SKELETON KEY (493) 8 7 0 6/ 3 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) 38 25 4 60.3 6/ 9 COFFEE RULES! (505) 8 7 0 7/ 7 LAND OF OZ (217) 422 279 13 60.2 7/ 3 OLD HABITS (566) 6 4 0 8/ 9 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) 27 18 1 60.0 8/14 DARQUE FORCES (396) 6 9 0 9/11 COFFEE RULES! (505) 120 94 5 56.1 9/ 7 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) 6 9 0 10-10 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 573 455 30 55.7 10/16*NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 5 4 3 11/12 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) 88 74 5 54.3 11- 8 DUR EDHEL (579) 5 5 1 12/14 NEMESIS (32) 134 120 13 52.8 12/22 THE JESUITS (524) 5 5 0 13/13 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 300 269 30 52.7 13/21*VINCERE AUT MORI (588) 5 5 0 14/ 0*RAT SALAD (577) 19 18 0 51.4 14/26 NEMESIS (32) 5 7 0 15/16 DARQUE FORCES (396) 84 81 5 50.9 15/15 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 5 9 1 16/20*NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 14 14 3 50.0 16/11 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 5 9 0 17/ 6*VINCERE AUT MORI (588) 5 5 0 50.0 17/ 0*TOMBSTONE (555) 4 1 0 18-19*CYNICAL DELUSIONS (586) 2 2 0 50.0 18/18 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) 4 5 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/17 SKELETON KEY (493) 75 76 3 49.7 19/23 TREBORS (232) 4 5 0 20/21 BLACK STORM (171) 56 63 8 47.1 20/17 BLACK STORM (171) 4 5 0 21/22 SECOND BANANAS (573) 24 30 2 44.4 21-10 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 4 6 0 22/23 THE JESUITS (524) 59 76 12 43.7 22/20*SOULFORGE (587) 3 7 2 23/24 TREBORS (232) 79 106 8 42.7 23/12 SPOONERTIKS (523) 3 9 0 24/ 0 KELLY'S HEROES (202) 27 37 5 42.2 24/13 SECOND BANANAS (573) 3 12 1 25/26 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 24 34 2 41.4 25-24*CYNICAL DELUSIONS (586) 2 2 0 26-25 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506) 98 148 2 39.8 26/ 0*RAT SALAD (577) 2 3 0 27-27 DUR EDHEL (579) 17 33 2 34.0 27-19 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506) 2 5 0 28/ 5*SOULFORGE (587) 3 7 2 30.0 28/29 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) 1 1 0 29/29 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) 11 28 0 28.2 29/27 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) 1 1 0 30/30 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) 8 30 0 21.1 30/ 0*ADULT SWIM (589) 1 4 0 31/ 0*ADULT SWIM (589) 1 4 0 20.0 31/ 0 KELLY'S HEROES (202) 0 2 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * The Quest of Hammer by Hammer HAMMER TOOK A GOOD LONG LOOK AT HAWKEYE HAMMER BEFORE ADDRESSING the five new gladiators who had assembled themselves together for an audience with the Veteran Manager in their new guild house in North Fork Arena. The Ripper known as HAWKEYE HAMMER had been an experimental disappointment in many respects, but Hammer was willing to give the underachieving gladiator one more shot at glory in North Fork Arena before transferring his AVENGERZ HAMMERZ stable to DM 73 to make room for a permanent stable in DM 47 that suited the Veteran Manager's purposes for the coming New Year! "You have served me well," stated Hammer to the battle worn Ripper who stood before him with the greatest of respect, "and you shall continue to do so for as long as you manage to survive the rigors of the arena!" Tears welled up in the eyes of the Ripper as Hammer explained that the newcomers were to begin fighting in North Fork the first cycle of the coming New Year; whereas, should HAWKEYE HAMMER manage to survive yet another bout on the sands of DM 47, the Ripper would then migrate with his teammates to the Free Blades Slow Transfer Arena known as Erinika to continue his career until Graduation or Death claimed his life! Hammer fixed his gaze upon the five Red Eyed/Green Haired Karragit Swamp Dwellers that were assembled before him. "You shall be known to all in North Fork as ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ for it suits my purpose well to enlist you five to aid me in my Quest to Graduate at least one of every Style Master from among my famed stables!" declared the Veteran Manager. BURP! "Now that you have broken the silence," continued Hammer unfazed by the suppressed giggles rippling throughout the guild house, "it is only fitting to register you with the Gladiatorial Commission as SWAMP BURPS HAMMER in honor of your Male tendency to assert yourself in public thusly!" "Thank you [BURP!] sir! It is a Great Honor Indeed to [BURP!] serve you in your [BURP!] Quest, sir!" Hammer nodded as his gaze fell upon the shapely form of an attractive Karragit Swamp Dweller who continually blushed as she stood before the famous Hammer. "Such beauty in contrast to the testosterone of your team captain," Hammer stated matter of factly, "you shall be known as SWAMP ROSE HAMMER, my lovely!" "Why thank you ever so kindly sir," she blushed a deeper Crimson for all to notice her loveliness, "I shall try my best to serve you in your Quest, sir!" "Team [BURP!] Captain? [BURP!] Me?" Hammer nodded again in the direction of the newly anointed team captain. "What a [BURP!] honor, sir! Thank [BURP!] you, sir!" Hammer grinned as he motioned to the other brooding Karragit Swamp Dweller Male who bristled at the thought of being passed over for the team captaincy. "As you all well know," answered Hammer to the unspoken questions of the bristling brooding gladiator, "I am launching a Quest for the coming New Year and you, my friend, are an important part of the fulfillment of my Quest!" The brooding bristling gladiator arched an eyebrow in response. "I have but three Style Masters to Graduate to accomplish the feat of Graduating at least one of every Style Master from among my countless stables throughout Alastari," Hammer continued as he pointed to each of the three remaining Karragit Swamp Dwellers, "and you my friends may very well be the fulfillment of my Quest before I consider retiring from the managerial mayhem in this realm!" The three remaining gladiators shifted uneasily under the gaze of Hammer. Returning his attention to the bristling brooding gladiator, Hammer fixed his eyes upon him with a stare that drilled its way to the very core of the gladiator's being. "Your Style is the one I have come closest to graduating," stated Hammer with a far away look in his eyes, "but Death has claimed your fallen comrades of the art in a most heart wrenching way! You must find a way to claw your way to graduation! Therefore, you shall be known in North Fork as SWAMP CLAW HAMMER, my friend!" "As you wish, sir," brooded the gladiator as the importance of the Quest of Hammer began sinking deeper into his psyche. "I will do my best, sir!" "The three of you must understand," continued Hammer as he paced the floor in deepest thought, "that others of your like Styles have been activated in other arenas to aid me in my Quest to Graduate All Ten Styles before I Retire...If Ever I Retire!" Hammer stopped his pacing as he stood before yet another lovely flower in his newly assembled stable. "I have not had much success with your particular Style as well," Hammer admitted as the female shivered under the Veteran Manager's gaze, "which is why I have hand picked another Flower in another arena to aid me in my Quest for the New Year in case Death claims the Chosen One who is already active elsewhere." "You are such a lovely flower of gladiatorial potential," continued Hammer as he licked his lips in anticipation of the Quest fulfilled, "so it is only fitting to register you with the Gladiatorial Commission as SWAMP LILY HAMMER to represent me in my Quest in North Fork Arena!" "My desire is to serve you and fulfill your Quest, sir!" Hammer smiled warmly as he directed his attention to the final Karragit Swamp Dweller who winked with a mischievously wicked smile all her own. "What would my stables be without an experiment," questioned Hammer to no one in particular, "and who better to serve as that experiment than you, my dear?" The deliciously attractive female gestured playfully as she slowly moved her body in time to the beat of an unheard siren song. "You will do perfectly my dear in spite of my history of having Death claim your Style in one form or another," stated Hammer with an eye of indifference to the seductive sway of the sensuous female writhing before him. "You shall be known in the Gladiatorial Commission Registry for North Fork as SWAMP TRAP HAMMER due to the Dance of Death beating in your breast!" "Whatever you say, sir," breathed the hot blooded female in a huskiness that drew men to her like moths are drawn to the flame. "It will be an honor to serve you in whatever manner you desire, sir!" Hammer eyed her evenly until the brazen beauty turned away from the fire blazing within the Veteran Manager who was consumed by his Quest for the coming New Year! "I have others of your Style active as well in other arenas," cautioned Hammer as the brazen beauty ran the tip of her tongue slowly across her upper lip. "Seemingly better equipped warriors of your Style have fallen to Death's Crushing Blow over the years!" The brazen beauty swayed her body in answer to Hammer's words. "But the uniqueness of your creation may very well propel you in time to fulfilling the goal of Graduating your Style in my Quest for the coming New Year!" Hammer turned his attention once again to the all but forgotten HAWKEYE HAMMER who was discreetly studying each of the new recruits who would be replacing AVENGERZ HAMMERZ the first cycle of the coming New Year. The Ripper instinctively knew what Hammer was requiring next! Hammer had deliberately and purposely chosen North Fork as the Ultimate Stage upon which to succeed in his Quest; not only in the presence of his Vendetta Cartel alliance mates, but also by Matching Wits and Crossing Blades with the likes of Crip, Oz, Drake, Mr Coffee and in her very own unique way Jorja; Veteran Managers who had helped to shape and define the competition in DM 47 in recent years. Toss into the mix Baphomet [plus the other assorted gang of misfits and idiots running rampant in North Fork during the recent Turf War battles!] and it was plain to see that the Quest of Hammer for Graduating the Remaining 3 Styles from the ranks of his newly formed ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ stable was a Challenge of Epic Proportions! HAWKEYE HAMMER had but one remaining cycle to do his part to aid Hammer in helping to train and season these new recruits to fulfill their part in the Quest of Hammer; before being banished to Erinika Arena in DM 73, Unless Death Claimed the Hammer Ripper During His Final Act in North Fork Arena! [TIME JUMP] BURP! BURP! BURP! BURP! BURP! SWAMP BURP HAMMER marched into the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ new guild house to the beat of his own unique drummer cadence He was seeking the still-brooding, still-bristling Karragit Swamp Dweller who Hammer had passed over to anoint SWAMP BURP HAMMER as the Team Captain of the Veteran Manager's newly formed ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ, who were due to debut on the North Fork sands next cycle. Ignoring the seductive sway of the brazen beauty SWAMP TRAP HAMMER, the newly anointed Team Captain of ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ side stepped the experimental warrior as if she had no influence upon his testosterone levels. He merely motioned for her and her stable mates SWAMP ROSE HAMMER and SWAMP LILY HAMMER to follow him to the VC Council Chamber in their quarters. Inside the well lit room they found SWAMP CLAW HAMMER studying the various parchments and maps that promised to unlock the dark secrets of North Fork's denizens. SCH glowered at his team mates for the unexpected interruption. "As you may well have [BURP!] heard," began SWAMP BURP HAMMER as the ladies made themselves comfortable in various positions around the room, "we have arrived in [BURP!] North Fork just in time to [BURP!] compete in [BURP!] Baphomet's TW4 [BURP!] contest as Hammer's newest North Fork Arena stable!" SWAMP CLAW HAMMER continued to bristle, brood and glower as he picked up a newly deposited parchment containing the TW4 rules and regulations, waving it wildly! "Yeah, I Heard!" "What you may not have [BURP!] heard," continued SBH as the ladies giggled and jiggled during the testosterone exchange, "is that I have [BURP!] registered [BURP!] our own [BURP!] SWAMP CLAW HAMMER as our [BURP!] Champion!" * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Ever see someone go postal? Here we are in a freakin contest and someone decides not to print our major source of news. Okay, it's slanted, twisted and maybe a little biased. But...someone's gotta do it. Otherwise, The Swamp would dry up and become desert. Well, I guess it doesn't matter as this is my last issue of the North Fork Yellow Rag. Turf War 3 has ended. And, we're a bit disappointed, but not surprised that The Fellowship of the SCOMSS won. Disappointed only because it wasn't us. Howsomever, we are good sports and wish a heartfelt congratulations to Slugbait, Crip, Oz, Mannequin, Soultaker and Spawn. Now, for a bit of news.... Turf War 4 will commence on Turn 225, right here in North Fork. We'll run until Turn 237. The host will be...none other than...me. I've placed an all-arena ad with rules, scoring, etc. I'll be beginning to post them on T224. **Notable Note** -- Due to the Turf War 4 beginning so quickly, I'll run scores for teams and alliances posted on T225, and Turn 226. After that, you will have to wait a turn to receive scores for your team. Okay...now on to my awards: Host With The Most -- Asmo Dius! Congrats my friend on an extraordinary job of running the Turf War! Most Confused Manager -- Barnabas of Feathers Flying. He dont' seem to know where he is or what he's doing! Most Verbose -- Oz, naturally. (grin!) Always a pleasure reading his p-ads. Sometimes...they're even funny! Angriest Manager -- Myself! My spots and p-ads didn't get printed! Welcome Wagon -- To Toker and Wasby. You're a little late for TW3 and just a tad early for TW4. Stick around. Well folks...there ya have it. Just remember...it ain't personal, just business. Baphomet, TCB * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * * * * TW3 #10...The End! * * * Well folks, it's over...so here are the results. A* The highest scoring alliance was...SCOMSS! So they'll be able to rename North Fork for six months, and there are 15 rollup certs on the way to their leader, Oz the Great. B* Two alliances tied for the most DA returns: SCOMSS once again, and Beverages, Inc. There is one rollup cert going to each Oz and Mr. Coffee, and the two alliances will split the DA monsters to be renamed (for six months). C* SCOMSS also had the most Awards/Honors, so they'll get four more rollup certs! (Remember, this prize was changed.) D* The Vendetta Cartel had the most stylemasters, so will name the arena to host the April '05 Grand Tournament and will receive three rollup certs. E* The Vendetta Cartel had to most kills too, so will have the honor of renaming the arena stand-ins (for six months). And they'll receive three more rollup certs. Now, the team awards...we'll start with the Mr. Coffee awards: * * * Highest W/L/K, Team: * * * 1) Land of Oz 36-13-1 2) All-Star Nana's 32-17-3 3) Mystic Orc Feast 30-20-3 4) Coffee Rules! 24-25-2 5) Second Bananas 23-26-1 6) Skeleton Key 21-29-1 7) Dur Edhel 17-33-1 So, Oz will receive five MORE rollup certs! F* The highest scoring team was...Land of Oz. Again...so that's three more rollup certs to add to their pile! G* The team with the most stylemasters was The Bear's Paw -- hey, that's not SCOMSS! Anyhow, Kat gets to discover the Faves for one warrior. H* The Bear's Paw also had the most Awards/Honors of all the teams, so will get one free entry in the next Grand Touranment, which equates to $7.00 transferred from my account. I* Kat also had the most kills, so Bear's Paw also gets their rollup cert refunded! Now, the Mr. Coffee awards, with Mr. Coffee once again coming in first: * * * Most Kills, warrior: Leviathan of Lard So, Mr. Coffe, I believe you owe Slugbait a free turn? (If I remember correctly.) J* The Warrior with the highest score was Hourglass -- another prize for Oz...she fights free five turns, which means I'll transfer $7.50 to Oz's account. K* Bear Acuda had the most stylemaster listings and will also fight free for five turns. Kat can expect the $7.50 to be transferred soon. L* Lastly, our Arenamaster's new name for the next six months will be Oz the Great, as his warrior had the most awards. So, the certs will be sent as follows: Oz: 28 Kat: 7 Mr. Coffee: 1 for a total of 36 (31 entry certs + 5 from Mr. Coffee). So, the contest is over...I will not be doing a TW4, but Baphomet has expressed interest in doing so. If anyone is interested in their team's warrior's scores, contact me by diplo in DM 73. I will keep my records for the first three months of 2005, then trash 'em. I was going to list them all, but thought I'd give the typist a break...if you want individual scores I'll send 'em by diplo or snail at your request. See y'all in Erinika! Asmo Dius, TCB DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. I am so surprised and humbled to have made it to this epitome', the top spot in North Fork. Never did I think I had what it took to be Duelmaster. Admittedly, I have worked hard, and I am sure that Oz applied a little magic, but to be here is beyond my wildest dreams. I will do my best to be deserving of the honor. My very first fight in the arena was a loss (naturally) to Osloben Benboben, and by the time I was ready for my first tournament, I was a mediocre 6-5-1. By the end of my second tournament, I was mired in mediocrity with a 9-7-1 in the arena with a 3-6-0 in tournaments. Oz said, "Work hard and be patient. HAVE COURAGE!" It was great advice, I guess. Somehow, I have won my last four in a row--over great warriors like Paula Bones, Leviathon Of Lard, Jenna, and The Fisher King, all different styles, and have been honored with this lofty position. Perhaps having the added excitement and challenge of performing for The Fellowship Of The SCOMSS added to my conviction and focus. Partnering with teams led by some of the best managers in Alastari (Crip, Slugbait, Soultaker, Spawn, Mannequin) certainly made me want to do my best--not just for Oz and myself, but for The Fellowship. I am proud to call myself a SCOMSSer and a Duelmaster. I am, indeed. North Fork is a great arena. Quiet, but fierce competition. Honor amongst competitors. A willingness to help all who enter the gates. International flavor. All consistently held together by the presences of Royal Flush and Crip over all these years. I want to thank Mr. Crip for his dedication to North Fork all these years. I must admit that when I think of North Fork, I first think of Royal Flush. I suspect that The Great And Wonderful Oz has tried to emulate The Flush and its leader for many years. But the arena is far from being only a Royal Flush home. I could mention them, but without listing everyone, I would be missing what makes North Fork special. I know Oz has a special affinity for Mystic Orc Feast and a great respect for The Bear's Paw. Nevertheless, every team in North Fork should take a bow for making it one of the best and best known arenas in Alastari. It will be difficult for me to retain this throne. There are many warriors in range as good as, if not better, than me. I am particularly thankful that I do not have to face either Rainbow or Hourglass, as they regularly "take me to the cleaners" in practice. I do speak with courage, however, that no matter who I fight, they will receive a battle worthy of a Duelmaster. Give it your best if you challenge me, for I shall be doing the same. Courage, Proud Duelmaster Of North Fork SPY REPORT Hail and well met warriors of SCOMSS SWAMP! Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari. The proverbial rising comet can only hope to compare with NEMESIS' team record! A 3-2-0 week and now a firm grasp on a 14th place ranking. SPOONERTIKS bore the brunt of major assault on their standings this week as they dropped to 23rd position as the result of going 0-2-0! My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall. This week SECOND BANANAS went 1-4-0 and fell 11 notches into 24th! Did only my eyes note the 4-1-0 record which FEATHERS FLYIN' managed to post this round? I don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers! I could not but notice the fine record for TOMBSTONE (4-1-0) after their first round of combat. May the gods of war favor you in SCOMSS SWAMP! LITTLE BIG MAN caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested THE INFINITE and was awarded 22 points in recognition. In one of the week's more notable duels, SARA F. put down CORPULENT CORPSE, causing her to lose 15 points of recognition in the process. Who here was not present for the title fight this week as KALYPSO boldly challenged COURAGE in order to strive for the Duelmasters honors? Although KALYPSO made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to topple the reign of victorious COURAGE. Would you believe that over half of the old women in SCOMSS SWAMP seem to feel that they could fight better than you gladiators? But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades that is city SCOMSS SWAMP. SCOMSS SWAMP, city of gladiators! Mighty among the names of thy guilds is SKELETON KEY, a guild shunned and avoided by many in the weekly duels. Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that spent the better part of last week avoiding SKELETON KEY. Indeed it was LAND OF OZ. Mighty fighters cannot but expect competition from those below. SCOTT take warning! You have more than a few enemies in SCOMSS SWAMP. At the gambling halls I have started to bet money on ART PENDRAGON. He has got the courage it takes. Witness his challenge this turn against DEEP FRIED LARD! I must admit to some joy. Before my very eyes the underdog in this contest, ART PENDRAGON, defeated DEEP FRIED LARD to claim victory and recognition. I cannot but express pride for the fearlessness of GALDR who cast caution to the winds and challenged SISTER MARY SARAH, a fighter 27 points higher. Do not the gods reward courage? GALDR it was that claimed victory in the bout, while also rising 28 points in recognition. I can not but mention with disdain the name of IMMAZAEL who this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 13 points below in the rankings. I thought IMMAZAEL showed great skill and promise when she was subdued by THE KURGEN. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal! Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser? Warriors, may this counselor stand ready at your right hand forever! Some guilds are strict but few are as heartless as SECOND BANANAS. Witness, last turn they sent BURNS, a 7-3-1 fighter, to the Dark Arena! Fate is a fickle mistress. She showers the miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious. Remember this! The girls are as pretty in SCOMSS SWAMP as ever I remembered them....and the fighters as ugly! Don't let your reputation slip! Ahh, but I can hear the spires of a far off city calling to me. I must away! Till next we meet remember: a fool flies into a rage quickly and often. The wise are angered by the same thing only once. Zontani Sharp Eyes DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME COURAGE 4552 16 10 1 129 LAND OF OZ (217) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME RAINBOW 4553 18 9 0 114 LAND OF OZ (217) LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113 13 5 2 112 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) -GREGOLA 5101 21 13 0 111 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) HOURGLASS 5127 14 2 0 107 LAND OF OZ (217) -FOLMOR GRIGG 4501 21 33 0 100 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506) ART PENDRAGON 5151 8 6 0 99 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) DEEP FRIED LARD 4975 18 8 0 98 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561 14 12 1 97 SKELETON KEY (493) JABBERWOCK 1277 13 12 3 96 NEMESIS (32) SHELDON 4111 10 3 2 92 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME KALYPSO 3603 19 14 0 86 DARQUE FORCES (396) SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197 8 2 0 77 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) PAULA BONES 4414 17 13 1 73 SKELETON KEY (493) FIGHTING TREE 5235 7 4 0 71 LAND OF OZ (217) IVAN POISY 5112 9 9 0 67 SPOONERTIKS (523) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME STING 2724 12 7 0 66 NEMESIS (32) JENNA 5099 11 8 3 66 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) SARA F. 5349 5 1 0 65 SKELETON KEY (493) LEPPADA 2257 13 19 0 58 TREBORS (232) BEAR NEKKID 5126 9 7 0 57 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) ANJE 4109 9 4 0 57 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WYRD 5167 7 3 0 56 THE JESUITS (524) GALDR 5171 5 4 1 56 THE JESUITS (524) -ACE METRIC 3554 4 4 0 56 ROYAL FLUSH (48) HUMBUG 5199 8 4 1 54 LAND OF OZ (217) -TEN C-0 METER 5141 7 5 0 54 ROYAL FLUSH (48) MARAJUANA MAN 3411 7 4 2 51 BLACK STORM (171) SIR GALAHAD 5148 7 6 0 49 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) DASTER MARQUE 5196 6 4 0 49 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) AMELA BUNDERSON 5339 5 2 0 49 SKELETON KEY (493) SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 8 2 0 48 OLD HABITS (566) ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564 8 1 0 46 BLACK STORM (171) SWEET N LOW 5306 5 3 0 46 COFFEE RULES! (505) PAUL BEARER 5187 6 6 2 45 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) CORPULENT CORPSE 5250 7 4 0 44 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) GREEDY 5223 5 2 0 44 RAT SALAD (577) DRASTARDY DAKE 5198 5 5 0 43 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) DONAVAN 4112 8 5 0 42 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) CRISTER MOFFEE 5289 6 3 1 42 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) BABY 5224 6 2 0 42 RAT SALAD (577) -RONDOL QUIGLO 4978 8 17 0 41 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506) -HELLUIN 5237 3 7 0 39 DUR EDHEL (579) MAHARA 2656 9 10 1 38 TREBORS (232) KOZYTA 2640 8 11 2 37 TREBORS (232) CURSESHOCK 5234 6 4 0 36 DARQUE FORCES (396) KRAMER 5191 5 5 0 36 SECOND BANANAS (573) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME FAT-BOY 5221 5 2 0 34 RAT SALAD (577) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -HUSTLER 1765 3 4 3 33 KELLY'S HEROES (202) SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262 4 3 0 31 OLD HABITS (566) B.B. CROSS 5323 5 2 1 30 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) MINOR BLUE 5326 5 2 1 30 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) AHURA MAZDA 5152 3 8 1 30 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) LEET STREEGLE 5368 2 0 0 30 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) SISTER MARY ELEPHANT 5219 5 4 1 29 OLD HABITS (566) DISIR 5168 5 4 1 29 THE JESUITS (524) DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 4 2 1 29 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) KATIE 5337 4 3 0 29 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) -YLW JACKET HAMMER 5329 2 0 0 29 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) COWBOY 1545 6 8 0 28 KELLY'S HEROES (202) -ELDHWEN 5236 5 5 0 28 DUR EDHEL (579) A.D. 5305 6 2 0 27 SPOONERTIKS (523) FREEZE DRIED 5308 5 3 0 26 COFFEE RULES! (505) GANGSTA CREEP 5391 2 0 0 26 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) -JACK & JILL 5310 4 2 0 25 ROYAL FLUSH (48) HAWKEYE HAMMER 5061 3 8 0 25 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) APPIUS 5392 2 0 0 25 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) -NIN QUIRE 5281 4 5 0 24 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 1 0 1 22 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) JAY 5327 4 3 1 21 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) GET THE POINT? 5097 3 6 0 21 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) -SISTER SLEDGE 5341 2 1 0 21 OLD HABITS (566) CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318 4 2 0 20 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) WHITE SETTLER 5322 2 4 1 20 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377 2 0 1 20 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) -CARCHAROTH 5353 1 3 0 20 DUR EDHEL (579) MULLIGAN 1718 5 4 0 19 KELLY'S HEROES (202) SCOTT 5299 5 4 0 19 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) FRED BEAR 5348 3 3 0 18 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) GAFF 5347 3 0 0 18 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) MORGAN 5055 1 0 0 18 TOMBSTONE (555) CAFE AU LAIT 5344 3 3 0 17 COFFEE RULES! (505) KENSAI 5267 2 4 0 17 RAT SALAD (577) MR. REE 5406 1 0 0 17 DARQUE FORCES (396) MELON MUSH 5357 3 2 0 16 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) RINGO 5056 1 0 0 15 TOMBSTONE (555) HALLE BEARY 5312 2 6 0 14 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) MIDGUARD 5410 1 0 0 14 THE JESUITS (524) THE KURGEN 5375 1 1 0 14 NEMESIS (32) -NASTA 5297 2 6 1 13 DUR EDHEL (579) -MARRED TEENY 5291 1 3 0 13 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) -BABBRA 1866 3 2 1 12 KELLY'S HEROES (202) TITANIA 2958 2 6 0 12 NEMESIS (32) MATTIE 5058 1 0 0 11 TOMBSTONE (555) BEAR SKINRUG 5399 1 0 0 10 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) BLACK THUNDER 3885 2 3 0 9 BLACK STORM (171) -TOUCH OF STONE 5362 1 0 0 9 CYNICAL DELUSIONS (586) -ITHILNAUR 5354 2 2 0 8 DUR EDHEL (579) EVICSERATOR 5358 2 1 0 7 BLACK STORM (171) -SHE HULK HAMMER 5328 2 0 0 7 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) -SMOKED 5361 1 0 0 7 CYNICAL DELUSIONS (586) FAMILY GUY 5398 0 1 0 7 ADULT SWIM (589) VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396 0 1 0 7 ADULT SWIM (589) -STEEL RAIN 2180 1 3 0 6 KELLY'S HEROES (202) DOC 5059 1 0 0 6 TOMBSTONE (555) -DON KING 5374 0 2 0 6 ROYAL FLUSH (48) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME IMMAZAEL 5384 1 1 1 5 SOULFORGE (587) CULONEGRO 5387 1 1 1 5 SOULFORGE (587) FASTDRAW 5315 1 2 0 5 RAT SALAD (577) ROBUST BREW 5400 1 0 0 5 COFFEE RULES! (505) BENDER 5395 1 0 0 5 ADULT SWIM (589) WOODY 5412 1 0 0 5 SECOND BANANAS (573) CASIEA 5389 1 1 0 4 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) GRENDEL 5376 1 1 0 4 NEMESIS (32) -3 MI. ISLE COFFEE 5334 0 1 0 3 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) TRESSA 5388 0 2 0 2 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) CAPPUCCINO 5382 0 2 0 2 COFFEE RULES! (505) PICUS 5390 0 2 0 2 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) -WASP HAMMER 5330 0 2 0 2 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) AMALRIC 5378 0 2 0 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) -FALCON HAMMER 5331 0 2 0 2 AVENGER HAMMERZ (556) SKIPPY 5411 0 1 0 1 SECOND BANANAS (573) AMAZON JANE 5414 0 1 0 1 SOULFORGE (587) FAYE VALENTINE 5397 0 1 0 1 ADULT SWIM (589) -DAMING FLRAMBUIE 5335 0 1 0 1 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) WYATT 5057 0 1 0 1 TOMBSTONE (555) -LID BUTE 5333 0 1 0 1 MIXED-UP MIXERS (558) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? TENCHI MUYO 5394 0 1 0 ADULT SWIM 589 BANDIT PRINCE 25 219 NONE VERITAS 5379 0 1 0 BLACK STORM 171 CULONEGRO 5387 218 TWEEDLE DUMB 5373 1 2 0 DARQUE FORCES 396 DARK CHAMPION 24 219 NONE BUBBLES 5407 0 1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396 SHEWISH GIANT 21 219 NONE WITCHCRAZE 5201 5 3 1 DARQUE FORCES 396 SHELDON 4111 216 ICEWRAITH 5346 0 2 0 DARQUE FORCES 396 JAY 5327 216 REVENGED KELSO 5324 2 4 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585 WHITE SETTLER 5322 219 RAGNAROK 5169 4 6 1 THE JESUITS 524 MOUNTAIN TROLL 18 219 NONE THE FISHER KING 5104 15 18 1 LIFE'S LESSONS 562 LEVIATHAN OF LAR 5113 218 PELLA REES 5280 1 7 0 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 506 NASTA 5297 217 MOTH LITE 5290 1 4 0 MIXED-UP MIXERS 558 STONE GOLEM 26 219 NONE SHORTLIFESPAN 5367 0 1 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 BANDIT PRINCE 25 219 NONE CHRIS COLUMBUS 5319 1 2 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 B.B. CROSS 5323 215 REVENGED GEORGE BUSH 5320 2 3 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 MINOR BLUE 5326 217 KING CRAB 4983 12 9 0 ROYAL FLUSH 48 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561 216 BURNS 5190 7 4 1 SECOND BANANAS 573 BLACK ORC 20 219 NONE 971315151015 5413 0 1 0 SECOND BANANAS 573 DARK CHAMPION 24 219 NONE DUDE DUKE 5314 4 4 0 SKELETON KEY 493 ARENAMASTER OKEL 23 219 NONE LAST ROACH 5386 0 2 0 SOULFORGE 587 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 219 THE INFINITE 5383 1 1 0 SOULFORGE 587 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 219 BIG CREEPY 5385 0 1 0 SOULFORGE 587 ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377 218 PERSONAL ADS Mr. Coffee -- It was more wishful thinking than anything. And be wary of carnies (that includes Carny), they have small hands. -- Master Darque Oz the Ever-helpful -- Just wanted to say that I enjoyed your spot on the Consortium Waste. It's managers like you that make this game great! Always willing to help a newbie, and always insightful tips for those of us that aren't exactly rookies, but neither are we veterans. -- Master Darque Kramer -- What a surprise! Oz said I had no chance in Hades at pulling that off. Perhaps he is not the all-knowing wizard we thought? -- Fighting Tree Osloben -- The key to your skeleton lies in the colors of the rainbow. You have not yet found your pot of gold at the end of it, but I may have found mine. -- Rainbow Jenna -- Perhaps you thought your kill rate provided you with an advantage? Perhaps, after reading the Consortium Waste article, you felt you had a style advantage over me? Perhaps you saw me as a lot of free Swamp Fest points? Well, now you know, Honey, and The Fellowship is riding all those points you gave them all the way to the bank. Thank you. -- Hourglass Amela Bunderson -- I am not a stodgy, easy tree to fell. But you will learn. -- Fighting Tree Paula Bones -- I thought you would turn that fight quickly, and I am lucky and honored to have won. You would have made a fine Duelmistress, but I will humbly accept that title. -- Courage Crip -- Great point gain! Well done! Way to eke out My Ozers and The Orcs for top team on the move in the final round of the competition. Salute. -- Oz The All- Excited Barnabas -- We welcome you with open arms to North Fork. Do not let petty discussions divert your pleasure and enjoyment. North Fork (or whatever it will be named for the next 6 months) is the place to be. -- Oz The All-Welcoming Spawn -- You are too kind. Thanks for the compliment on the Consortium Waste article. While I did contribute, the real "authors" are The Consortium originating brothers--Fandil The Wise of Fandils in DM46, Lenpro of Lenpros in DM30 and Kennelworth of Bulldogs in DM11. Mino of Animal Farm in DM20 (now DM11) was the greatest contributor of warriors of that style. -- Oz The All-Acknowledging Latte -- And thank you also. I loved the way you phrased it "all the valuable waste". It was my chuckle of the day. -- Oz The All-Amused Vendetta@United with Vincere Aut Mori (Toker) and Soul Forge (Wasby The Great) -- Welcome to North Fork. You will find the competition fierce, but honorable. Feel free to call upon any of the elderly arena managers to help you out as you will find that they are some of the most knowledgeable and helpful in all Alastari. -- Oz The Welcome Wagon Congratulation to Ace Bailey of Royal Flush -- North Fork's newest Lord protector. -- Oz The All-Praising Fellowship Of The SCOMSS -- I am proud to have been associated with you all. The ring has been cast into the fires, and we depart friends before and friends after. Until we are needed again.... -- Oz The All-Emotional Rumor has it that the success of the Turf Wars is creating impatience by some to start another as soon as T221, only a couple of turns down the road. I would like to advise that such a decision is too soon. An additional "war" should not occur until the winners of the last have time to savor the victory, which would seem to be upon conclusion of the 6-month renaming of the arena. I would suggest that the earliest start be T225, or perhaps the turn following the summer Face. All Ozers are certainly in favor of continuing the fine, competitive, not-so-cut-throat, competition of the Turf Wars, but truly believe there should be a reasonable spacing between events. -- Oz The All-knowing Melon -- Bet that's how you feel, bet you were surprised when you couldn't get the attack. -- B.B. Don -- Nice hair!!! You know, I've never liked you. -- Minor Katie -- Damn woman, slow down! -- Jay Oz -- Got myself calmed down now so may the fun begin! As noted in a previous ad, just look at match-ups not at teams so I apologize to any if I seem to be picking on any one! Not my plan of attack, just trying to win! -- Tuff Stuff Art Pendragon -- Oops. Nice comeback. It seems I overstepped myself although I'm pretty sure you were a second challenge. -- Daster Marque Sheldon -- Curses on you. I am impressed though. -- Spawning Corpulent Corpse -- Well, I guess thanks for the skills. -- Drastardly Nasta -- Well fought and thanks for the skills. -- Crister Ithilnaur -- It seems your team has saved mine from completely bombing. Well fought. -- Leet Streegle Kat -- Be sure to announce the confirmation of my ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ in the new Turf War sponsored by Baphomet, my friend! -- Hammer ***Baphomet*** -- ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ will be representing the Vendetta Cartel in your newly sponsored Turf War in North Fork Arena! -- Hammer P.S. SWAMP CLAW HAMMER is to be registered as my Champion as well! P.P.S. I contacted RSI to transfer a New Team Roll Up Gift Cert from my account to send to you in your DM 47 newsletter this month! Let me know if you received it! Toker and the United Vendetta Clones -- I have already stated the obvious in the recent DM 59 P-ads and now I will be more specific! Be It Known that you have now entered an arena that many of us consider to be a home arena, albeit not our individual Home Arenas as VC members other than Kat. History has plainly revealed that those fighting against Invaders of their collective homeland are fierce fighters. Furthermore you have made a BIG BLUNDER coming into North Fork and shooting off your mouths in the manner that you have been doing. I have endeavored to overlook this customary trait of you and the other United Vendetta Clones the past few cycles; however, you have finally stepped over a line from which there is no turning back and no room for offering an apology! Part of the fun of the game is having friendly rivalries with other managers and alliances. One of the surest ways to decimate the ranks of a thriving arena is for an Alliance War to tear apart the chemistry of a fun arena. With my apologies to the Veteran Managers who I respect and honor in this arena, WAR IS OFFICIALLY DECLARED upon you and Goat and all the rest of your cohorts who failed to find an alliance name for yourselves and deliberately cloned our alliance name and for many months have been throwing your verbal garbage in our faces in the P-ads and Team Spotlights! My W/L record for my newly formed ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ is not my priority for running a stable here in North Fork Arena. What means less than nothing to me is my W/L record versus the United Vendetta Clones. Be it now known that long after you and your inmate-minded alliance mates have tired of taunting me and decimating my stables from North Fork to Illis to wherever we may cross blades in other arenas; you have made an enemy who will make life miserable for you and the other United Vendetta Clones managers who will someday tire of the retribution aimed their way with the constant hounding in the Team Spotlights, P-ads and on the Sands! The game will one day cease to be fun for you and the other United Vendetta Clones and you can look back to this cycle in North Fork where you were warned of the harvest that your foolishness has set into motion for the New Year! Enjoy the Turf War while you still find this game to be fun! -- Hammer/Vendetta Cartel Captain; WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta Cartel Tarantula Tribe in DM 28 [who has always considered North Fork to be a second home where my experimental stables were always welcomed to participate by the regulars in North Fork Arena no matter how they fared on the sands and who always petitioned me to return!] P.S. If you think I am just blowing smoke your way Toker [PUN INTENDED] then just ask Fizban about his debut in North Fork so many years ago! He succeeded in Killing two of my experimental warriors when he first arrived! He made the mistake of shooting off his mouth one too many times in the P-ads and I spent the rest of my stay in North Fork with that Experimental Stable Teaching Him Proper Arena Etiquette. He is now an alliance mate, thanks to the intercession of Master Darque, or we would still be crossing blades years later! Fizban was My Friendly Foe [even when I retaliated with New Warriors in North Fork Arena who were NOT Experiments!] You are NOT My Friendly Foe! YOU HAVE BEEN THUSLY WARNED! TOTAL WAR!!!! Baphomet -- Do I understand correctly that any Warrior who either TVs or TCs in the April Mailer will have the multiples awarded to fights [both + and -]for the duration of TW4? -- Hammer P.S. Also including the Summer Facer and Fall Mailer of course! Obviously the Tempe 2005 Facer results do NOT count because the contest begins in February after the January Tempe Facer! Toker -- Hmm, not only are you of the Bizzarro Cartel but it seems you've angered the usually friendly Hammer. I understand you are new and are prone to trash talk. I to riled up Hammer when I first started first by Killing 2 of his warriors then gloating about it. Very normal for a newbie. He came after me hard and I'll admit he won more that he lost. But more importantly than that he taught me a little respect in game and now we are friends and alliance mates. I come to you only to say this. If it's all in fun than maybe a quick personal to that effect is in order, if not and you and you new pretender alliance want war, then just say so. Remember though if that's what you want, then bring it and bring it hard. Learn fast. 'Cause you'll need it. If you don't believe me go ask COL who are all vets how well they have fared against me in 31. I take very little personally in this game. Hell, I love the contest and the wars. If you want some, all you need to do is step up. Not only will Hammer give you some but I'll toss in a little dessert. -- Fizban the Fanatic Barnabas -- Hey dude, what up? Glad to see you pop into the swamplands! I notice you've met my brother in arms, Maximillian! I came here for the last turf war but with these phony Vendetta's crawling through the jungles I figure I'd stick and stay and root out the phonies. Hope you stick around for a bit, don't let Oz get to you he's all in good fun (part of The Consortium, like Kennelworth in Aruak is). Hope you find pleasure here and hope to hear from you from time to time (I moved so the internet access is VERY spotty)! -- Street Legal, mgr. of Life's Lessons Crister Moffee -- I take my coffee however I can get it. -- Amela Bunderson Goat -- I was too late to join you in the contest, sorry. Who are the new recruits? Am I allowed to test their mettle? P.S. Put any of your teams you want to on the Manic Union roster. We may as well keep that alliance active for tourneys. Titania -- My sensibilities are not all that delicate. It's the commission's that are. -- Sara Fister Courage -- Lean on me. -- Poula Sir Galahad -- Did I hit my favorite? -- Sara Fister P.S. Letter's in the mail next month. V.@.U. -- Warriors of the Desolate Empire! Look at all these established guilds. We might be a day late for the battle. So let's stay for the war that is soon to come. By the way, did we take the wrong road? I have not seen any lights at Abraxis' or Voo-doo's Guild house. If you locate Phat Phat, put a dull arrow in his left buttock! Until our "Duke of the Free Blades" makes himself known, we shall fight like rabid dogs infecting all with our ideals of V.@.U. of the Desolate Empire. -- Goat/"Hand of Death" for V.@.U. of North Fork Fred Bear -- Are you related to Pooh? -- Disir, Barren Blade of the D.E. All -- I am "Midguard", Barren Blade of the Desolate Empire. Your demise is intended. -- Midguard, Barren Blade of the D.E. Donavan -- Your skills taught are great! Good fight. -- Wyrd, Desolate Soldier of the D.E. Hawk Eye Hammer -- I'm sure that "brilliant twisting thrust" will leave a scar. It was earned on your part. -- Galdr, Barren Blade of The Desolate Empire All -- Anyone interested in a bare knuckle contest open to all styles? No armor heavier than L/APL. Has it been done yet? -- Goat/Hand of Death in North Fork Latte, RIP --- A tough call that from the boss. Maybe it will haunt him in the future??!! -- Spawn Sister Mary Elephant -- I'd say someone had tampered with that weapon. Just as well it didn't count towards the turf war. I think I saw a Kat looking at your weapons rack rather too closely before the bout!!! -- A.D. Courage -- Salutations to our mighty DM. Fitting that you should take the throne at the end of the turf war, to display your dominance for all to see!! -- Spawn Sister Mary Sarah -- Only two 'live' fights last turn, and both against your habits. Sorry about that, the boss sent four challenges in, just the two chosen made it look like he was picking on you! Proud to have given you your first loss and to have got myself back above 50%! -- Ivan P Vendett@United -- Not a bad turn for us all. Some wins, some kills, and some dirt in a few eyes. Let's keep it up. -- Wasby the Great Black Storm -- Lo siento yo matanza Veritas, pero no puede competir para mi. ?Que guacho? -- Culonegro, Barrenblade Ettiene Duplaix -- You killed a creep! So shall his wrath be upon you! -- Soulforge, Barrenblade Appuis -- Nice fight. Maybe next time. Anyway, you want some of this? It's extra sticky icky. -- Last Roach, Barrenblade All -- The Soulforge family wishes you all a warm holiday season. Here's hoping you don't get a lump of coal under the tree and/or drive after drinking too much kool- aid. -- Wasby the Great Baphomet -- I declare vendett@UNITED for TW IV. The following people may declare for V@U: Abraxis, Voodoo, Goat, Toker, Wasby, Skullagrim and Mr. Coffee. -- CFH/ vendett@UNITED -- Captain P.S. My team is Rat Salad and my champion will be Baby. Mr. Coffee/Skully -- No idea what your intentions are for IV but would like to have you on my side. -- CFH P.S. Trying to get some people who will be there from start to finish. Amalric -- Lucky the Arenamaster stopped me. I would loved to have finished it! -- Gangsta Creep -- Barren Blade Evicserator -- You are a good warrior; hats off to you! -- Toker, Dark Knight of V@U of The Desolate Empire Last Roach -- Freak meeting, my brother. You fought well. -- Appius -- Barren Blade The Kurgen -- Good fight. You lasted longer than expected! -- Casiea -- Barren Blade Touch of Stone -- I will see you again. Good fight though! -- Picus -- Barren Blade Hammer -- Awaiting your down challenges! -- Dark Knight Toker, V@U of The Desolate Empire Goat -- Dok Sik should be here soon. He's still on the road from Illis! -- Toker -- Dark Knight of V@U of The (D.E.) Dark Knight -- Good showing last turn. I'll send my warriors over for a lesson on that killing stroke. -- Toker Dark Knight -- mgr. Vincere Aut Mori Baphomet -- I upchallenged a lot of points to reach your warrior. Let's see if it goes through! -- Toker Dark Knight of V@U The Desolate Empire P.S. Big heads usually explode! All -- I hope y'all can welcome me and my partners to your lovely city! I see you've been having a nice little shootout here already--obviously too late for me to join in the fracas but I look forward to shaking things up a bit nonetheless! -- Big Nose Kate P.S. Any style info assistance would be greatly appreciated! All -- In the words of the great CARNY (I miss Carny), "We got a winner!" Actually, we've got two winners. Congrats to Oz the All Managing and Slugbait's warrior Leviathan of Lard. -- Mr. Coffee (Final say so on Coffee Awards) Oz -- An amazing 73.5% W/L for the contest (36-13-1) puts you in first place. Asmo has your prize and I trust he'll send it promptly. -- Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules! Slugbait -- Leviathan of Lard's second kill and your impressive 100% participation in the contest makes you the winner. Letter to RSI transferring $7.50 (5 turns?) to your account en route. -- Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules! All -- It seems Latte departed the Land of the Living. He was a Wall of Steel, 14(1)-16(1)-8-15-5-12(1), not really my favorite warrior, but not my least favorite. -- Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules! 8 December 2004 Battle Royal 4 The Battle Royal arena contests are one of the purest tests of manager skill available. The rules are simple. The scoring is simple. The updates are live. If you would like to participate, simply get a team ready in Talcama in the next month and announce in the personals that you're in. The prize is bragging rights and having your name along side previous winners (Doc Steele, Manray Frothingslosh, and Manager). It is a brutal contest, but it is a lot of fun! Basic rules: No avoiding other contest teams. Score = Wins + Kills - Losses. Only fights against other BR teams count. First team to 25 wins! BR4 begins in Talcama (DM 18) on turn 502, due on Jan 29, 2005. Visit http://www.geocities.com/assurnasir/br4 for more information. 8 December 2004 TURF WAR IV -- GRAND CONTEST NOTICE! The Turf War IV Grand Contest will commence on Turn 221 (approx. February 22, 2005). For those who have never participated, Turf Wars are alliance-type contest and Winner-Takes-All. There are no 2nd place winners! Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must: A. Announce the alliance name and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork (DM #47) newsletter. Captains are responsible for: A. Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance; B. Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the TW4. Managers must: A. Submit one (1) RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate to participate; B. Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance in which they will be fighting under, in the DM #47 North Fork newsletter. Rules: 1. No scoring will begin until an RSI Roll-up Gift Certificate is received. No exceptions will be made. 2. Before a manager can compete, he must be acknowledged and verified by the Captain of the alliance he has claimed for; A. The following turn, points will begin to be awarded or subtracted; 3. Only one (1) team per manager may compete. No multiple aliases please (we'll be checking this and if caught...you'll be disqualified and no refund); 4. The contest will end on Turn 233 (12 turns!). Winners will be announced on Turn 234 and prizes sent to winning alliance between Turn 233 and 234. 5. No declarations will be acknowledged after Turn 231. 6. For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions. Scoring: Win Lose Kill Die Challenge +2 -2 +5 -5 Match-up +1 -1 +1 -5 Bloodfeud +2 -5 +5 -10 Champion x2 x2 x2 x2 Downchallenge +2 -5 +2 -10 Dark Arena +10 -5 xx xx Special Scoring: A. Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points; B. Each Style Master is worth 5 points; Champions: A. Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory. If declared, they must be in the Adepts or lower brackets. Bloodfeuds: A. Bloodfeuds will count for all four turns. However, the same warrior may not bloodfeud all four turns. A penalty of -10 will be given to the team who violates this rule. Special Conditions: A. I reserve the right for all final decisions. B. If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2; C. If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong; I'll subtract points at the rate of x10! D. Each alliance begins with zero (0) points. E. Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty. F. T.V.'s won after contest begins gain a Triple rate of scoring. G. T.C.'s won after the contest begins gain a multiple of 10 scoring. H. No switching alliances once verified by an alliance. Any questions or concerns may be addressed (if you're incarcerated) to: Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (268), DM #47 -- North Fork. If you're in the free world: Rick Strigner Merit East SCI P.O. Box 500 Georgetown, DE 19947-0500 P.S. Prizes are: A. 100% of the roll-up certs B. Currently under negotiations with R.S.I. for other prizes C. A special prize from me that I will discuss with the Captain of the winning alliance. 15 December 2004 The Company of Brothers Alliance would like to welcome Azereth as our newest member. We are sure he will be an asset to both our alliance and the dueling community! -- Baphomet, Co-Founder T.C.B. 24 December 2004 Due to requests, the Turf War IV will be postponed until turn 225 (approx May/June 2005). Sorry about the inconvenience. -- Baphomet, host of TW 4 LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS BURNS was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. DUDE DUKE was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena duel. RAGNAROK was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. MOTH LITE was dispatched by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. TWEEDLE DUMB was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. SHORTLIFESPAN was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match. TENCHI MUYO was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl. 971315151015 was barely slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight. BUBBLES was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match. JENNA was handily defeated by LEVIATHAN OF LARD in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud fight. CULONEGRO was vanquished by ETIENNE DUPLAIX in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud duel. SARA F. overpowered CORPULENT CORPSE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel. OSLOBEN BENBOBEN was defeated by HOURGLASS in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge fight. KALYPSO was overpowered by COURAGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title match. ART PENDRAGON viciously subdued DEEP FRIED LARD in a 4 minute Challenge battle. JABBERWOCK handily defeated PAULA BONES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict. WYRD was vanquished by SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout. FIGHTING TREE vanquished DASTER MARQUE in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge fray. PAUL BEARER was bested by ANJE in a 1 minute Challenge brawl. DRASTARDY DAKE defeated KRAMER in a exciting 1 minute Challenge bout. STING narrowly defeated BEAR NEKKID in a 11 minute brutal Challenge bout. DISIR was savagely defeated by CRISTER MOFFEE in a 2 minute Challenge conflict. GALDR overpowered SISTER MARY SARAH in a exciting 3 minute uneven Challenge fight. CAFE AU LAIT overcame BLACK THUNDER in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel. MINOR BLUE devastated GET THE POINT? in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. LEET STREEGLE overpowered SCOTT in a 4 minute brutal uneven Challenge fight. TRESSA was overpowered by JAY in a 1 minute gory one-sided Challenge duel. PICUS was demolished by HAWKEYE HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee. GANGSTA CREEP vanquished FRED BEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray. GAFF overcame HALLE BEARY in a 1 minute Challenge bout. AMALRIC was handily defeated by B.B. CROSS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. IMMAZAEL was luckily beaten by THE KURGEN in a 3 minute beginner's Challenge fight. RAINBOW overpowered CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a slow 5 minute one-sided match. IVAN POISY was overpowered by SHELDON in a 1 minute gory one-sided bout. MARAJUANA MAN viciously subdued FAT-BOY in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome match. SIR GALAHAD overpowered CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a exciting 4 minute one-sided struggle. A.D. was savagely defeated by BABY in a popular 2 minute brutal fray. DONAVAN was subdued by HUMBUG in a exciting 1 minute conflict. ZOMBIE KNIGHT unbelievably bested KATIE in a popular 5 minute gruesome bout. LEPPADA beat COWBOY in a exciting 1 minute competition. KOZYTA was handily defeated by GREEDY in a 1 minute one-sided duel. AMELA BUNDERSON overpowered SISTER MARY CLARENCE in a 1 minute uneven battle. MAHARA was vanquished by SWEET N LOW in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. CURSESHOCK overcame AHURA MAZDA in a crowd pleasing 3 minute duel. SISTER MARY ELEPHANT defeated TITANIA in a exciting 2 minute brawl. DEVOUT CHRISTIAN easily killed LAST ROACH in a exciting 1 minute mismatched melee. WHITE SETTLER executed KELSO in a 1 minute one-sided fight. FREEZE DRIED outlasted KENSAI in a popular 9 minute duel. MULLIGAN was overpowered by APPIUS in a 1 minute one-sided fray. MELON MUSH overcame SKIPPY in a 2 minute novice's duel. FASTDRAW was demolished by MORGAN in a 1 minute one-sided conflict. EVICSERATOR was subdued by MR. REE in a popular 3 minute novice's battle. GRENDEL was handily defeated by MIDGUARD in a 1 minute mismatched contest. CAPPUCCINO was luckily beaten by DOC in a 4 minute novice's struggle. THE INFINITE was murdered by LITTLE BIG MAN in a 1 minute one-sided brawl. CASIEA was devastated by RINGO in a 1 minute one-sided match. FAMILY GUY was bested by ROBUST BREW in a 1 minute novice's brawl. MATTIE defeated VASH THE STAMPEDE in a 3 minute gory amateur's duel. BENDER defeated AMAZON JANE in a 2 minute amateur's brawl. FAYE VALENTINE was viciously subdued by WOODY in a 3 minute gory novice's bout. WYATT was vanquished by BEAR SKINRUG in a 1 minute mismatched match. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |STRIKING ATTACK 25 WALL OF STEEL 48 - 35 - 2 58 | |SLASHING ATTACK 17 PARRY-LUNGE 19 - 15 - 0 56 | |BASHING ATTACK 16 TOTAL PARRY 100 - 88 - 1 53 | |TOTAL PARRY 15 SLASHING ATTACK 60 - 55 - 7 52 | |AIMED BLOW 12 AIMED BLOW 50 - 50 - 2 50 | |LUNGING ATTACK 11 LUNGING ATTACK 80 - 90 - 10 47 | |WALL OF STEEL 8 STRIKING ATTACK 88 - 110 - 8 44 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 PARRY-STRIKE 14 - 22 - 1 39 | |PARRY-STRIKE 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 14 - 23 - 0 38 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 BASHING ATTACK 59 - 97 - 4 38 | Turn 219 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 5 - 3 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 14 3 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 2 AIMED BLOW 5 - 7 3 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 5 TOTAL PARRY 6 - 9 3 WALL OF STEEL SLASHING ATTACK 9 - 8 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 10 1 SLASHING ATTACK PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 2 1 BASHING ATTACK PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME SLASHING ATTACK COURAGE 4552 16 10 1 129 LAND OF OZ (217) TOTAL PARRY RAINBOW 4553 18 9 0 114 LAND OF OZ (217) LUNGING ATTACK LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113 13 5 2 112 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) WALL OF STEEL HOURGLASS 5127 14 2 0 107 LAND OF OZ (217) BASHING ATTACK SHELDON 4111 10 3 2 92 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457) STRIKING ATTACK SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197 8 2 0 77 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) AIMED BLOW PAULA BONES 4414 17 13 1 73 SKELETON KEY (493) PARRY-RIPOSTE BEAR NEKKID 5126 9 7 0 57 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is LEPPADA 2257. The most popular warrior this turn was KENSAI 5267. The ten other most popular fighters were KATIE 5337, MARAJUANA MAN 3411, ART PENDRAGON 5151, SISTER MARY ELEPHANT 5219, GALDR 5171, CAFE AU LAIT 5344, SIR GALAHAD 5148, AHURA MAZDA 5152, MR. REE 5406, and OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561. The least popular fighter this week was RAINBOW 4553. The other ten least popular fighters were SCOTT 5299, MATTIE 5058, WYATT 5057, VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396, CASIEA 5389, THE INFINITE 5383, DOC 5059, GRENDEL 5376, EVICSERATOR 5358, and FASTDRAW 5315. The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: ACE BAILEY (47-4948) ROYAL FLUSH (48) NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS) For those of you who keep track of such things, 11 additional warriors graduated from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament. EEK THE CAT (2-4110) of THE FUNNY FARM HADES (11-5338) of MYTHICAL DRAUGHT DODGER (12-5209) of WISH YOU WERE BEER DRACO MALFOY (18-7115) of HOUSE SLYTHERIN FREAK (18-7300) of RUN AND HYDE BETWEEN THE EYES (60-716) of METAL MILITIA II 6 SHOVELING SANDY (65-3584) of STORMNITE SANDBAGGER BLUE BLOOD (73-3657) of BLACK & BLUE JOCK (82-10452) of 4-LETTER ITCHES WILLIE BROWN (82-13201) of 1976 RAIDERS YUENGLING (82-16265) of LOCAL BEER Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes FACE-TO-FACE XXXIV Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday through Sunday, 14-16 January 2005, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S Rural Rd--this is the same hotel as last year). Room rates are $139.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy, which includes breakfast. The rooms are blocked. The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block. Our room block will be released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then! Room rates include a full cooked-to-order breakfast and a complimentary two-hour manager's reception. There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking. The hotel is located down the freeway in Tempe. All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra charge). There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and Mexican restaurant inside the hotel. And there's Denny's right across the street. Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late November/early December. If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue. If you have, you'll be back. Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast! See you there! -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff MAIL-IN TOURNEY XXXVIII PRIMUS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME KING PIN 282 (112-85-2) 1 4 0 ROYAL FLUSH KING KEY 281 (115-91-0) 0 5 0 ROYAL FLUSH ADM TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME GRINNON BEARIT 2955 (24-14-3) 0 2 0 THE BEAR'S PAW FRESHMEN TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME MARY ANN 4378 (16-25-0) 0 2 0 SCREEN DREAMS CHALLENGERS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME SPAWN 4283 (9-7-0) 2 3 0 FANTASTIC FIVE ACE BAILEY 4948 (13-13-0) 1 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH RAINBOW 4553 (15-9-0) 1 3 0 LAND OF OZ CHAMPIONS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME BEAR ACUDA 4995 (13-6-1) 6 3 0 THE BEAR'S PAW HOURGLASS 5127 (12-1-0) 4 3 0 LAND OF OZ COURAGE 4552 (13-10-1) 2 3 0 LAND OF OZ STING 2724 (10-7-0) 0 2 0 NEMESIS ADEPTS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME AHURA MAZDA 5152 (3-5-1) 0 2 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR ART PENDRAGON 5151 (6-5-0) 0 2 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR BEAR NEKKID 5126 (8-5-0) 0 2 0 THE BEAR'S PAW PAUL BEARER 5187 (5-4-2) 0 2 0 THE BEAR'S PAW SIR GALAHAD 5148 (6-4-0) 0 2 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 (7-0-0) 0 2 0 OLD HABITS STRYCHNINE 4838 (10-5-1) 0 2 0 PURE POISON INITIATES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262 (2-2-0) 5 3 0 OLD HABITS ARAUTHATOR 4660 (3-1-0) 4 3 0 DRACONIC REALM SISTER SLEDGE 5341 (1-1-0) 4 3 0 OLD HABITS SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197 (6-1-0) 2 3 0 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM SISTER CHRISTIAN 5340 (2-0-0) 1 2 0 DEAD OLD HABITS HALLE BEARY 5312 (2-3-0) 0 2 0 THE BEAR'S PAW APPRENTICES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME SARA F. 5349 (2-1-0) 8 3 0 SKELETON KEY CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318 (3-1-0) 3 3 0 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 FRED BEAR 5348 (2-1-0) 3 3 0 THE BEAR'S PAW WARFARIN 5231 (2-0-0) 2 3 0 PURE POISON JACK & JILL 5310 (2-2-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH WHITE SETTLER 5322 (1-3-0) 0 2 0 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 ROOKIES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME GREEN KNIGHT 5369 (0-0-0) 3 3 0 DEAD KNIGHTS TEMPLAR LEET STREEGLE 5368 (0-0-0) 2 3 0 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM TARNELUS 5359 (0-0-0) 2 3 1 CYNICAL DELUSIONS TOUCH OF STONE 5362 (0-0-0) 2 3 0 CYNICAL DELUSIONS DON KING 5374 (0-0-0) 1 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH DEAD CHALLENGERS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME ACE FREHLEY 3669 (10-9-0) 5 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH BOSS TEN 1988 (11-12-0) 1 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH JACK EENTHABOCKS 2252 (10-7-0) 1 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH JACK O'LANTERN 2762 (5-4-0) 1 3 0 DEAD ROYAL FLUSH JACK HAMMER 3790 (9-6-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH LANCE 183 (18-15-3) 0 2 0 NEMESIS DEAD CHAMPIONS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME ACE METRIC 3554 (3-4-0) 9 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH TOTO 3914 (16-9-0) 8 3 0 LAND OF OZ TOONERSPIK 4715 (7-8-0) 5 3 1 SPOONERTIKS HEMLOCK 4288 (0-1-0) 3 3 0 PURE POISON SCORPION KING 4718 (8-3-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH DEAD ADEPTS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME KAIN PILLER 4969 (2-4-0) 4 3 0 SPOONERTIKS BOMBAY 5043 (9-2-0) 2 3 0 COFFEE RULES! TOP TEN LIST 2953 (3-1-0) 2 3 0 ROYAL FLUSH LUMBER JACK 2909 (1-1-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH TEDDY BEAR 1051 (5-1-1) 0 2 0 THE BEAR'S PAW TEN A. SHUSS 1642 (1-1-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH WHITE LIGHTNING 1307 (11-8-1) 0 2 0 BLACK STORM DEAD INITIATES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME MOTHER THERESA 5136 (2-1-0) 3 3 0 OLD HABITS STROKE BROKER 5094 (5-4-1) 2 3 0 SPOONERTIKS HELL BENDER 3258 (3-3-2) 0 2 0 BLACK STORM JACK RABBIT 4814 (0-1-0) 0 2 0 ROYAL FLUSH LORD OF DISCIPLINE 1493 (3-5-0) 0 2 0 BLACK STORM PETIT CAL 3338 (6-2-1) 0 2 0 BLACK STORM PING KIN 5174 (2-2-0) 0 2 0 SPOONERTIKS DEAD APPRENTICES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME MOTHER SUPERIOR 5218 (0-0-0) 3 3 0 OLD HABITS NUZZLY FLAVA 5075 (0-1-0) 1 1 0 DEAD MIXED-UP MIXERS ROBERT D'SABLE 5365 (0-1-0) 2 3 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR ELEN B'TON 4815 (2-2-0) 0 2 0 SPOONERTIKS