DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 04/19/2005 Duedate: 05/16/2005 SCOMSS SWAMP ARENA DM-47 TURN-223 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS LEVIATHAN OF LARD MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) (47-5113) [17-5-2,131] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader LEVIATHAN OF LARD GANGSTA CREEP MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) VINCERE AUT MORI (588) (47-5113) [17-5-2,131] (47-5391) [4-2-0,43] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite AHURA MAZDA CHARLES MANSON KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) LEADERS (593) (47-5152) [6-9-1,44] (47-5428) [0-3-0,3] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. SECOND BANANAS (573) 72 2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 49 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 3. NEMESIS (32) 48 Unchartered Team 4. LAND OF OZ (217) 46 5. OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 45 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 5*OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 7 3 0 70.0 1/10 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 10 1 1 2/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 262 154 21 63.0 2/ 4 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 10 5 1 3/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217) 436 283 14 60.6 3/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217) 9 4 1 4/21*LEADERS (593) 9 6 1 60.0 4/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 9 4 0 5- 4*MAYFAIR (607) 3 2 0 60.0 5/ 5 SECOND BANANAS (573) 9 5 1 6/ 0*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) 3 2 0 60.0 6/14*LEADERS (593) 9 6 1 7- 7 OLD HABITS (566) 25 18 1 58.1 7/ 1 BLACK STORM (171) 8 6 0 8/10 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 27 20 4 57.4 8/ 6 THE JESUITS (524) 8 6 0 9/ 6 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) 29 22 5 56.9 9/ 9 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) 8 7 2 10/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 582 461 30 55.8 10/22*OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 7 3 0 11/11 COFFEE RULES! (505) 126 108 5 53.8 11/ 3*DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 7 7 1 12-13 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) 91 79 5 53.5 12/ 7*VINCERE AUT MORI (588) 7 7 0 13/ 9 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) 34 30 2 53.1 13/ 8*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 7 8 2 14-15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 305 274 30 52.7 14/17*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 6 4 1 15/ 1*DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 10 9 2 52.6 15/12*ADULT SWIM (589) 6 9 0 16/22 SECOND BANANAS (573) 38 35 3 52.1 16/32*SALEM'S LOT (605) 5 5 2 17/19 SKELETON KEY (493) 82 79 3 50.9 17/13 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) 5 9 0 18/17 NEMESIS (32) 138 136 14 50.4 18/20*SOULFORGE (587) 5 9 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/18 BLACK STORM (171) 69 69 8 50.0 19/18 COFFEE RULES! (505) 5 10 0 20-20*THE RIPPER CREW (489) 15 15 0 50.0 20/19 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 5 10 0 21/14*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 10 10 3 50.0 21/23 SKELETON KEY (493) 4 1 0 22/38*SALEM'S LOT (605) 5 5 2 50.0 22/26*FALLEN (590) 4 6 1 23/12*VINCERE AUT MORI (588) 14 15 0 48.3 23/21*THE DREAMING (591) 4 11 1 24/27*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 8 9 1 47.1 24-27 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) 3 2 0 25/23 THE JESUITS (524) 69 85 12 44.8 25-15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 3 2 0 26/30 DARK PINNACLE (598) 16 20 3 44.4 26-16 HOME GUARD (402) 3 2 0 27-25 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) 56 74 2 43.1 27/ 0*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) 3 2 0 28-26 HOME GUARD (402) 30 40 2 42.9 28-25*MAYFAIR (607) 3 2 0 29-29 TREBORS (232) 80 111 8 41.9 29/34 DARK PINNACLE (598) 3 5 1 30/24*DRACONIC REALM (519) 10 15 0 40.0 30-28*THE RIPPER CREW (489) 3 7 0 31/31*ADULT SWIM (589) 10 15 0 40.0 31/29 NEMESIS (32) 3 12 1 32/ 0*MISNOMERS (608) 2 3 0 40.0 32/ 0*MISNOMERS (608) 2 3 0 33/32 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 30 48 2 38.5 33-31*BLEAK LEGION (601) 1 3 0 34/33*FALLEN (590) 5 8 1 38.5 34-33*DARK SIDE (602) 1 4 0 35/34*SOULFORGE (587) 10 19 2 34.5 35-35 TREBORS (232) 1 5 0 36-36*BLEAK LEGION (601) 1 3 0 25.0 36/36*DRACONIC REALM (519) 0 2 0 37/35*THE DREAMING (591) 4 16 1 20.0 37-30 OLD HABITS (566) 0 2 0 38-37*DARK SIDE (602) 1 4 0 20.0 38-37 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) 0 1 0 39-39*ZOIDS (606) 0 1 0 0.0 39-38*ZOIDS (606) 0 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Swamp Scribbling by Hammer the WordSmith "How delusional these Clowns must be!" exclaimed a grinning Hammer as he raised his tankard of Elven Ale in the direction of Talon Dark Hart and Tripwire. The other members of the kLk alliance were not present for the impromptu War Council due to other matters linked with their preparation for the Spring Tourney and upcoming Turf War 4 contest to be held soon in the North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena. TDH and Tripwire raised their tankards and bellowed their response with hearty approval. It had been mere child's play for Hammer to utilize an Ancient Elven Mind Ploy to convince the Clowns that they had entered the Hammer guild house and pulled their much publicized prank on an unsuspecting [and in their own minds] fear filled Hammer. The yellow and brown stains on their Clown garments would be difficult at best to explain to their local laundry service. These perpetrators had imagined it all in their Clown clouded minds as to what they had publicly perceived as happening to Hammer. The reality of the fact was that the actual recipient of the Clown Nose and Clown Feet makeover was none other than the DM 47 Arena Master Okel himself!!!! This did NOT bode well for the Clowns' stables when they took to the sands for TW4 in the not too distant future. Meanwhile...the gladiators of ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ took pause from the rigors of their training to give ear to the Special Announcement conveyed by Hammer via their Team Captain SWAMP BURP HAMMER: "Be it [BURP!] known [BURP!] that the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ Turf War 4 [BURP!] Champion will be [BURP!] determined by your [BURP!] performance in the Spring [BURP!] Tourney!" ElseWhere a bony figure on a makeshift raft handed a blood stained parchment to the waiting Horse Messenger: "Ride like the wind!" rasped the bony figure in an almost inaudible, yet unmistakably urgent voice. "For the Swamp Sisters have desperate need of Hammer and the Pain Bringer this very hour!" * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * *Turf War IV Rules* In a couple of turns, the Turf War 4 will commence. I thought I'd begin putting the rules in the spotlights to allow everyone to become familiar with them. If there are any questions or clarifications, then feel free to ask. Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances created to compete in the Turf War! However, to participate, each alliance must: A. Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the SCOMSS Swamp newsletter. Captains are responsible for: a. Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance; b. Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War. Managers must: a. Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Gift Certificate to participate; b. Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance they will be fighting under in the SCOMSS Swamp newsletter. RULES: 1. No scoring will begin until a Gift Cert is received. No exceptions. 2. Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare and be verified by the Captain of the alliance he/she has claimed for; 3. Only one (1) team per player may compete. No multiple aliases please. (Violations will result in disqualification). 4. The contest will end on turn 237 (12 turns). Winners will be announced on Turn 238. 5. The turn following a declaration and verification will begin the scoring process. 6. No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 235. 7. For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions. SCORING: Win Loss Kill Die Challenge +2 -2 +5 -5 Match-Up +1 -1 +1 -5 Bloodfeud +2 -5 +5 -10 Champion x2 x2 x2 x2 Downchallenges +2 -5 +2 -10 Dark Arena +10 -5 xx xx Special Scoring: a. Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points (team mentions only). b. Each Style Master is worth 5 points. Champions: a. Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory. If declared, the Champion must be in the Adepts or lower brackets on turn 224. Bloodfeuds: a. Bloodfeuds count for all four (4) turns. However, the same warrior may not BF all four turns. A penalty of -10 will be given to the team who violates this. Special Conditions: a. I reserve the right for all final decisions. b. If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2. c. If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong, I'll subtract points at the rate of x10. d. Each alliance begins with zero (0) points. e. Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty (this means a *WARRIOR'S* fight!). f. TVs won after the contest begins gain a Triple Rate of scoring once the tourney reports are posted in the NL and run throughout the remainder of the contest. g. TCs won after the contest begins gain a rate of scoring of x10 with the same conditions as TVs. h. No switching alliances once verified by an alliance that a team has declared for. (Obviously...this begins when the contest does.) Any questions or concerns may be addressed (if you're incarcerated) to: Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568), Dm #47 -- SCOMSS Swamp. If free world player, you may write to: Rick Stringer -- Merit/East SCI P.O. Box 500 Georgetown, DE 19947-0500 Prizes are: a. 100% of the rollups b. I'm waiting to hear from RSI regarding arena name change and monster name changes. c. A special prize that I will discuss with the Captain of the winning alliance personally. Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar Host of Turf War IV P.S. Downchallenges are not down in points, but higher to lower bracket. Same bracket? Normal challenge regardless of recognition points. * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * TURF WAR IV UP-DATES A couple of things I wanted to clarify for y'all and then I'll report declarations and entries: A. I'm no longer reporting teams who aren't both verified and declared more than one turn after it's been done. However, if I've received a cert...I'll report them. B. I think there will be the rules in this newsletter. I'm pretty sure I sent them in but with some major health issues coming up...I might have fudged it. We'll see. Anyway, I'll be reporting them on Turn 224 and 225. After that, but request. C. Just in case I forgot to clarify it, if you win and kill a warrior...you only get the points for killing. Or dying (as the case may be). It's obvious you win if you kill, and lose if you die. D. Please, if you need anything clarified, or explained...just ask. Okay, here's what I've got for this turn: *VENDETTA CARTEL/Kat, Cpt. (0), (0) v d cert? The Bear's Paw/Kat (0), (0) y y n Managerial Mayhem/Fizban (0), (0) y y n Natural B. Killers/Maximillian (0), (0) y y n *VENDETT@UNITED/CFH, Cpt. (0), (0) v d cert? Rat Salad/CFH (0), (0) y y n Leaders/Abraxis (0), (0) y y n The Jesuits/Goat (0), (0) y y y Vincere Aut Mori/Toker/Gangsta Creep (0), (0) y y y Soulforge/Wasby the Great/Culonegro (0), (0) y y y Dok Sik Killas/Dok Sik (0), (0) y y n *T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C./Mr. Coffee, Cpt. (0), (0) v d cert? Coffee Rules!/Mr. Coffee (0), (0) y y y Misnomers/Heathen/Hugh G. (0), (0) n y y *SCOMS TOWER/Slugbait, Cpt. (0), (0) v d cert? Mystic Orc Feast/Slugbait (0), (0) y y y Royal Flush/Crip (0), (0) y n y Land of Oz/Oz the Friendliest Manager (0), (0) y y y Second Bananas/Mannequin (0), (0) y y y Old Habits/Soultaker (0), (0) y n y *ILLUMINATI/Talon Darkhart, Cpt. (0), (0) v d cert? Adult Swim/Talon Darkhart (0), (0) y y y Draconic Realm/Sir Chester (0), (0) y y y Fallen/Azrael (0), (0) y y y The Dreaming/P-Diddy (0), (0) y y y All-Swamp Hammerz/Hammer The Icepick (0), (0) y y y Of Wolf and Men/Tripwire The Pain Bringer (0), (0) y y n Zoids/Nemesis (0), (0) y y n Knights Templar/Baphomet (0), (0) y y y Gothic Ministry/Liam the Goth/Incubus (0), (0) y y y Dark Pinnacle/Buddy Lee/Steal Shank (0), (0) y y y Notes of Interest: A. First, an apology to Mannequin and Soultaker for my being such a dipstick. I've got all the newsletters from T217 and should have double-checked. B. Heathen, I've made corrections as you've requested. Any further verifications and declarations will have to be done through the personal ads. Sorry. Rules is rules. Well...that's about it for now. We've got two more turns and we start banging heads. Baphomet, host * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * "FOOLS" Peals of laughter rang throughout the vendett@UNITED guildhouse. Goat was doubled over clutching his sides while turning red in the face. He couldn't stop the flow of guffaws as Wasby and Toker told him how things had gone at the guildhouse of Hummer. Abraxis couldn't seem to hold back his chuckles either. It had been his plan which had worked to perfection. Wasby then told of his own plan and what had happened. His spies and scrying spells had warned him of the foolish plot against the v@U guildhouse. Wasby also knew of the pitiful spells to be used against them. While he could have simply countered the cantrips with ease, Wasby instead had decided to elaborately turn the tables into embarrassment for his enemies. Compulsion had been a breeze to work on such a simple mind and was quickly done. Azrael had never known what had hit him. Wasby had then placed a major illusion spell on the Illuminati guildhouse, which was no trouble as the fools there were overconfident and lacked proper defenses. Everyone laughed again as Wasby told them of Azrael's shaking of the dead rat and his incantations which sounded suspiciously like the rites used by Karragit swamp-dwellers. Wasby could barely suppress a laugh of his own as he told them how Azrael had looked back and realized he had blasted his own guildhouse! Loud bellows then spilled out as he described how Hummer had arrived tripping over his clown feet. A small child had pointed, running up to squeeze Hummer's large, bulbous nose, expecting a honk. Drinks were raised and toasts made us all members of v@U shared in the joke. They all knew of the declarations in the past and looked forward to the battles to come. If embarrassing their enemies was to be this easy, the members of v@U knew that the laughter would be both frequent and quite satisfying. * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===--- Duelmasters ----------- DM 9 ZUKAL (turn 513): TOP CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 12 RIZTAB (turn 513): DREB 3 of THE LAWMEN (Marshal D, mgr.) DM 15 MALCORN (turn 507): STALKING HORSE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 16 WILLAF (turn 509): O. PUN PLEEZJ of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.) DM 17 ALJAFIR (turn 508): DARON EL of MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 19 ZUWAYZA (turn 506): TMARACK of THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 253): BALDER of VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.) DM 29 LAPUR (turn 498): ENOSHIMA of BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): REZOS THE THRACIAN of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.) DM 32 ARVAT (turn 495): SAVORY of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.) DM 33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 493): LIONESS of DARK TOADS II (TigToad, mgr.) DM 35 MURSKA (turn 486): POSITION IS EMPTY DM 43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): TIRO CUCKOO of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): HOT LIPS of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 222): LEVIATHAN OF LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 209): FENDER GRALE of MIDDLE WAY 6 (Jorja, mgr.) DM 56 ROCANIS (turn 374): MACHINE of TOOLS OF TORMENT (Mad Max, mgr.) DM 61 JURINE (turn 353): COOL CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 158): ABASHI of BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.) ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 399): PARANOIA of DSM4 from ZUKAL (The Sandman, mgr.) Top Teams --------- DM 9 ZUKAL (turn 513): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 12 RIZTAB (turn 513): FORCE OF NATURE (?, mgr.) DM 15 MALCORN (turn 507): STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.) DM 16 WILLAF (turn 509): DAGGERS EDGE (Zeus, mgr.) DM 17 ALJAFIR (turn 508): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.) DM 19 ZUWAYZA (turn 506): VALHALLA (Odin, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 253): VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.) DM 29 LAPUR (turn 498): BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): NUMBERS GAME (Destitute Noble, mgr.) DM 32 ARVAT (turn 495): THE STORMLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.) DM 33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 493): CASINO HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.) DM 35 MURSKA (turn 486): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.) DM 43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.) DM 47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 222): BLACK STORM (Blackstorm, mgr.) DM 50 SNOWBOUND (turn 209): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.) DM 56 ROCANIS (turn 374): RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.) DM 61 JURINE (turn 353): BLADE AND BLOOD (Noachian, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 158): BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.) ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 399): LEGION OF DUMB (Carnage, mgr.) Recent Graduates ----------------- DM 9 ZUKAL (turn 513): T. ZER of LETTER BOMBS (Papa Bear, mgr.) (turn 512): CAT TASTROPHIE of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.) DM 12 RIZTAB (turn 512): PLATO of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.) DM 15 MALCORN (turn 506): BATTERY of STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.) DM 28 MORYA (turn 253): BALDER of VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.) (turn 252): MAXIMUS DECIMUS of NORTHERN BADLANDS (Maximillian, mgr.) LAVA RUNNER of PRIMAL FURY (Sensei Jan, mgr.) DM 31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): REZOS THE THRACIAN of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.) TRASHIUS of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.) ABYSSINIAN of THE STORMBRINGERS (High Lord Bosk, mgr.) DM 32 ARVAT (turn 495): DIETER KWAN of DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.) LIL ETH of DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.) PICKLED PIGSKIN of BUFFY'S DINER (Alfredo Frothingslosh) DM 35 MURSKA (turn 485): BARRISTER of BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.) DM 43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): TIRO CUCKOO of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.) DM 45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): STORM SERPENT of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.) DM 47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.) DEEP FRIED LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.) DM 73 ERINIKA (turn 158): ABASHI of BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.) (turn 157): CHINESE SIMIAN of K.B.W.F II (Polarius, mgr.) SPY REPORT Greetings, Warriors of SCOMSS SWAMP. Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to give you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport. Nothing is certain in SCOMSS SWAMP, with changing loyalties, changing Duelmasters. Write this down: new top team--MYSTIC ORC FEAST. Perhaps it is OF WOLF AND MAN members' intannibility that enabled them to move from 22nd to 10th last week... (Less time in the sun...) Like a chunk of francium heaved into a wet pond, SALEM'S LOT blew up the rankings to 16! LEADERS posted a nice gain, to come in 6th. Everybody loves a winner... I doubt many are quaking in their boots, but CELESTIAL KNIGHTS comes out of nowhere to get 3-2-0. What does the future hold? Watch this space... Well, MISNOMERS, you can show this to your parents. But you'll have to do better than 2-3-0 if you want your names in this space again... NEMESIS had cause to celebrate, after JABBERWOCK got 40 points by beating PAULA BONES. A certain someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 22 points to B.B. CROSS. (Discrete enough, AHURA MAZDA?) Those who hoped for a new Duelmaster were disappointed by SPAWING OF SPEWN, of MANEGERIAL MAYHEM, who despite a 10-4-0 couldn't overcome SCOMSS SWAMP's Number 1. Word has it one team in SCOMSS SWAMP is using psychics to predict wins. They lead a charmed life! And how sociable are SCOMSS SWAMP's warriors? Come, let us see. Perhaps the warriors of DOK SIK KILLAS should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team... Like a pup with its tail between its legs, ROYAL FLUSH scurried away from DOK SIK KILLAS. Oh, the shame! Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and WYRD is it right now. Most challenged warrior. Isn't THE JESUITS proud! Take heed SCOMSS SWAMP, of the unprincipled action of SIR GALAHAD. By challenging GANGSTA CREEP, 20 points below him, SIR GALAHAD besmirches the noble art of dueling. SIR GALAHAD overcame GANGSTA CREEP. The whole thing leaves a bitter memory. Them's the breaks, PICUS. Expecting fair challenges from ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ is evidently too much to ask. SWAMP LILY HAMMER beat PICUS with a point difference of 23. So this is what SCOMSS SWAMP calls a duel. This will make an interesting tale. As a confidence booster, DEAD ANGLE challenged JACK MCFARLAND, down 20 points. Do you also slay vicious rodents in your spare time, DEAD ANGLE? Next time DEAD ANGLE walks with hers head high remind her of the fight where she challenged down 20 points and lost to JACK MCFARLAND. Do my ears deceive me? HITLER YOUTH (outclassed by 29 points) challenged GAFF, in what promises to be a fight.(!) Fixed fights? Paybacks? Blind luck? Whatever, HITLER YOUTH challenged GAFF, HITLER YOUTH the underdog by 29 points. The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on... More than one waitress at The Dripping Blade was spilling more drinks than usual last week, as MSK's early demise became known. What will FEATHERS FLYIN' do??? Congratulations, JABBERWOCK. The manager of SKELETON KEY should have sent PAULA BONES to the Dark Arena for having a 18-13-1 long ago. The audience gave a nice round of rasberries to GALDR of THE JESUITS, for expiring in such an ungraceful fashion. 7-6-1, indeed! STEAL SHANK of DARK PINNACLE sends TITANIA of NEMESIS goes to the Weary Warrior's Retirement Home. SCOMSS SWAMP has no place for weaklings! Justice was served as WOODY fought MSK in bloodfeud. Well done, SECOND BANANAS! Ask not for whom the sword slashes; it slashes for thee. Do not think spyreporting in SCOMSS SWAMP is the highlight of my life. As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond my control, I must take my leave of this place. Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid SCOMSS SWAMP farewell-- Novgorodny Vir DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113 17 5 2 131 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME JABBERWOCK 1277 14 15 4 130 NEMESIS (32) -HOURGLASS 5127 17 2 0 118 LAND OF OZ (217) -GREGOLA 5101 21 13 0 111 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561 15 13 1 104 SKELETON KEY (493) MARAJUANA MAN 3411 11 4 2 103 BLACK STORM (171) ACE METRIC 3554 7 4 0 97 ROYAL FLUSH (48) SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197 10 4 0 93 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -TOTO 3914 17 9 0 86 LAND OF OZ (217) ART PENDRAGON 5151 8 10 0 84 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) FIGHTING TREE 5235 9 6 1 82 LAND OF OZ (217) WYRD 5167 10 4 0 79 THE JESUITS (524) -JENNA 5099 13 9 3 77 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) -RAVEN 3354 10 8 0 74 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) KRAMER 5191 8 5 0 72 SECOND BANANAS (573) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MINOR BLUE 5326 8 3 1 65 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) AMELA BUNDERSON 5339 7 2 0 65 SKELETON KEY (493) B.B. CROSS 5323 8 3 2 64 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) STING 2724 13 10 0 63 NEMESIS (32) HUMBUG 5199 10 6 1 61 LAND OF OZ (217) SIR GALAHAD 5148 10 7 0 61 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) SARA F. 5349 6 2 0 61 SKELETON KEY (493) -LEPPADA 2257 13 21 0 60 TREBORS (232) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -PAUL BEARER 5187 7 7 2 55 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) -YURI KARLOMOV 4215 10 2 0 53 HOME GUARD (402) DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 7 3 2 53 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) -SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 9 3 0 52 OLD HABITS (566) CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318 7 3 0 51 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) -TAKALEREIHN II 4260 5 6 1 49 HOME GUARD (402) -BEAR NEKKID 5126 10 8 0 46 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) AHURA MAZDA 5152 6 9 1 44 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) DASTER MARQUE 5196 6 8 0 44 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) GANGSTA CREEP 5391 4 2 0 43 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) FREEZE DRIED 5308 9 3 0 42 COFFEE RULES! (505) ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564 10 3 0 41 BLACK STORM (171) -KOZYTA 2640 9 12 2 41 TREBORS (232) -MAHARA 2656 9 12 1 40 TREBORS (232) -RASP 3353 7 10 0 40 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) SWEET N LOW 5306 6 6 0 40 COFFEE RULES! (505) STEAL SHANK 5487 5 2 1 39 DARK PINNACLE (598) LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 4 1 1 37 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) WHITE SETTLER 5322 5 5 1 36 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) -KELLANTH 3410 9 6 0 35 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CRISTER MOFFEE 5289 8 5 1 35 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME WOODY 5412 4 1 1 33 SECOND BANANAS (573) -LADY ARCANE 4381 4 2 0 33 THE RIPPER CREW (489) LEET STREEGLE 5368 4 2 0 33 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574) SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441 4 0 0 33 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) -HALLE BEARY 5312 3 7 0 33 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) -SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262 4 4 0 32 OLD HABITS (566) -PAVEL MOLARI II 3665 6 8 1 31 HOME GUARD (402) VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396 3 2 0 31 ADULT SWIM (589) DARK WARLOCK 5422 4 1 0 30 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) ANTON LEVAY 5429 3 0 1 30 LEADERS (593) -PAVEL MOLARI III 4539 3 5 0 30 HOME GUARD (402) JACK MCFARLAND 5481 3 1 0 30 SECOND BANANAS (573) SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442 3 1 1 29 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) -ARAUTHATOR 4660 3 1 0 29 DRACONIC REALM (519) HITLER YOUTH 5547 1 1 0 29 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) BENDER 5395 5 0 0 28 ADULT SWIM (589) INCUBUS 5423 3 2 1 28 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) BLOOD RAYNE 5489 6 5 0 27 DARK PINNACLE (598) -KENTSUI FURY 4382 4 2 0 27 THE RIPPER CREW (489) JACK & JILL 5310 5 5 0 26 ROYAL FLUSH (48) -TROUBLE 4151 2 1 0 26 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) MELON MUSH 5357 6 3 0 25 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) DROPSHOT 5402 2 0 0 25 FALLEN (590) APPIUS 5392 4 2 0 24 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -GET THE POINT? 5097 3 8 0 23 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) -FAJR FALAK 4380 2 4 0 23 THE RIPPER CREW (489) -FRED BEAR 5348 4 4 0 22 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) CYANIDE 5444 2 2 1 22 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552 2 0 1 22 SALEM'S LOT (605) WAR CRY HAMM 5436 2 2 0 22 THE JESUITS (524) LIL BIT 5404 2 0 1 21 FALLEN (590) -SISTER SLEDGE 5341 2 1 0 21 OLD HABITS (566) -BORIS MARKOV 4540 3 5 0 20 HOME GUARD (402) MIDGUARD 5410 3 2 0 18 THE JESUITS (524) WILSON 5482 3 1 0 18 SECOND BANANAS (573) ANTHRAX 5446 2 2 1 18 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) GAFF 5347 5 2 0 17 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585) EVICSERATOR 5358 5 2 0 17 BLACK STORM (171) BLACK THUNDER 3885 4 5 0 17 BLACK STORM (171) ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377 2 4 1 17 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) DON KING 5374 2 3 0 17 ROYAL FLUSH (48) JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534 2 0 0 17 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) ARCHANGEL 5579 1 0 0 17 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) CUP OF TOE 5433 1 0 0 17 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) CAFE AU LAIT 5344 3 7 0 16 COFFEE RULES! (505) DRAMA QUEEN 5494 3 0 0 16 ROYAL FLUSH (48) -VALAMARADACE 4695 2 2 0 16 DRACONIC REALM (519) DYERS EVE 5535 1 1 0 16 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) -SUZANNE 5560 1 0 0 16 MAYFAIR (607) HANTA 5443 2 2 0 14 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) -BEN HURT 4150 2 1 0 14 ROYAL COMATENTS (301) ONE 5533 2 0 0 14 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) NIGHT TERROR 5420 1 3 0 14 THE DREAMING (591) -STELLA 5561 1 0 0 14 MAYFAIR (607) PRINCE DARIUS 5581 1 0 0 14 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439 2 2 1 13 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) SON YUNG MOON 5427 2 1 0 13 LEADERS (593) -BEAR SKINRUG 5399 2 1 0 13 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SIR PRIZE 5576 1 0 0 13 MISNOMERS (608) BLACKENED 5531 2 0 0 12 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) CRYPT ANGEL 5553 1 1 1 12 SALEM'S LOT (605) -KYLE 5523 1 0 0 12 DARK SIDE (602) ICHORID 5584 1 0 0 12 SALEM'S LOT (605) DAINTY CHINA 5564 1 0 0 12 LAND OF OZ (217) -TSO TSUNG T'ANG 4391 3 2 0 11 THE RIPPER CREW (489) SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438 1 3 1 11 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) -BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408 1 0 0 11 LIFE'S LESSONS (562) LOWELL 5569 1 0 0 11 SECOND BANANAS (573) DEAD ANGLE 5418 2 2 1 10 THE DREAMING (591) TRESSA 5388 2 4 0 10 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) -BADI AL ZAMAN 4384 2 4 0 10 THE RIPPER CREW (489) GENESIS 5435 2 2 0 10 SOULFORGE (587) EBOLA (Z) 5447 2 2 0 10 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) GRENDEL 5376 2 4 0 10 NEMESIS (32) HUGH G. GO 5574 1 0 0 10 MISNOMERS (608) -OBLIVION 5518 1 0 0 10 BLEAK LEGION (601) -CARLOTTA 5559 1 0 0 10 MAYFAIR (607) MR. CROWLEY 5570 1 0 0 10 LEADERS (593) AMALRIC 5378 0 6 0 10 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) ROBUST BREW 5400 2 3 0 9 COFFEE RULES! (505) ICKY ICED FLEA 5565 1 0 0 9 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) LOW FAT LOON 5527 1 0 0 9 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) DAVID KARESH 5426 2 1 0 8 LEADERS (593) ETHER 5572 1 0 0 8 SOULFORGE (587) SHORTEST STRAW 5532 0 2 0 8 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440 0 4 0 8 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) DIPTHERIA 5445 2 1 0 7 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) -CLAUGIYLIAMATAR 4694 2 1 0 7 DRACONIC REALM (519) BLACK BALL 5520 2 1 0 7 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) HOLLE' CHERRY 5437 2 0 0 7 SKELETON KEY (493) PICUS 5390 1 4 0 7 VINCERE AUT MORI (588) SHADE'S FORM 5549 1 1 0 7 SALEM'S LOT (605) FRYLOCKE 5541 1 1 0 6 ADULT SWIM (589) DAY DREAM 5417 1 3 0 6 THE DREAMING (591) CAPPUCCINO 5382 0 6 0 6 COFFEE RULES! (505) TARZAN 5542 0 2 0 6 NEMESIS (32) AXELROD GUNNER 5401 1 2 0 5 FALLEN (590) ASSAD 5580 1 0 0 5 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) TARGET 5573 1 0 0 5 SOULFORGE (587) DEMONIC HEX 5530 1 1 0 4 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) BROCK SAMPSON 5416 0 4 0 4 THE DREAMING (591) CHARLES MANSON 5428 0 3 0 3 LEADERS (593) ERON RIPPER 5403 0 3 0 3 FALLEN (590) CARRION WURM 5550 0 2 0 2 SALEM'S LOT (605) SEALAB DEBBIE 5567 0 1 0 1 ADULT SWIM (589) MUSTAFA 5568 0 1 0 1 THE DREAMING (591) BULLSEYE 5571 0 1 0 1 SOULFORGE (587) -CHARLOTTE 5562 0 1 0 1 MAYFAIR (607) -DANK MAN KIETH 5524 0 1 0 1 DARK SIDE (602) -ROWAN 5563 0 1 0 1 MAYFAIR (607) MAXIMUS 5583 0 1 0 1 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) -TUNNERS 5525 0 1 0 1 DARK SIDE (602) BROCK SAMPSON 5566 0 1 0 1 ADULT SWIM (589) -LADY SCALE 5517 0 1 0 1 BLEAK LEGION (601) -LIAM 5485 0 1 0 1 DARK PINNACLE (598) ABDULLAH 5582 0 1 0 1 CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609) -FEL STRIKE 5516 0 1 0 1 BLEAK LEGION (601) RICHARD CRANIUM 5577 0 1 0 1 MISNOMERS (608) MISS DE MEANOR 5575 0 1 0 1 MISNOMERS (608) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -JEREMY 5521 0 1 0 1 DARK SIDE (602) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? FAMILY GUY 5398 1 3 0 ADULT SWIM 589 B.B. CROSS 5323 222 CLOCKWORK ORANGE 5415 2 1 0 BLACK STORM 171 ANTON LEVAY 5429 222 WEAKNESS 5515 0 1 0 BLEAK LEGION 601 INCUBUS 5423 222 BIRD 5522 0 1 0 DARK SIDE 602 ANTHRAX 5446 221 ZORE 5503 0 1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519 PUTRID PATRICK 19 223 NONE ZORE 2 5502 0 1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519 GUILLOTINE GARTH 20 223 NONE KNIGHTMARE 5419 0 1 0 THE DREAMING 591 SWAMP CLAW HAMME 5438 220 REVENGED SHADOW RAINS 5405 0 3 0 FALLEN 590 MR. COFFEE 24 223 NONE MSK 5507 2 1 1 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585 WOODY 5412 223 BRASSBACK 5544 0 2 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585 CRYPT ANGEL 5553 223 KELSO 5324 2 4 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585 WHITE SETTLER 5322 219 REVENGED GALDR 5171 7 6 1 THE JESUITS 524 FIGHTING TREE 5235 223 ZYKLON 5548 1 1 0 THE JESUITS 524 ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552 223 JIM JONES 5430 1 1 0 LEADERS 593 DEAD ANGLE 5418 222 BEWARE OF CLONES 5409 0 1 0 LIFE'S LESSONS 562 CYANIDE 5444 220 REVENGED BAFFLEMENT 5578 0 1 0 MISNOMERS 608 THE BARTENDER 26 223 NONE CORPULENT CORPSE 5250 7 5 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 DRASTARDY DAKE 5198 220 REVENGED TITANIA 2958 3 9 0 NEMESIS 32 STEAL SHANK 5487 223 THE KURGEN 5375 1 3 0 NEMESIS 32 SWAMP TRAP HAMME 5442 221 SKIPPY 5411 1 2 0 SECOND BANANAS 573 MSK 5507 221 JUST REV PAULA BONES 4414 18 14 1 SKELETON KEY 493 JABBERWOCK 1277 223 IMMAZAEL 5384 2 4 1 SOULFORGE 587 LIL BIT 5404 223 THE INFINITE 5383 1 1 0 SOULFORGE 587 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 219 NOT REVE LAST ROACH 5386 0 2 0 SOULFORGE 587 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 219 NOT REVE SOUL SEEKER 5387 2 3 1 SOULFORGE 587 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 222 SHADOW 5434 1 2 0 SOULFORGE 587 SWAMP BURP HAMME 5439 222 PERSONAL ADS Pdiddy the Punk -- You must be delusional. -- Polarius, Warlord of DOOMcorps Baphomet/All -- I am officially declaring my intention to join Illuminati. Rollup Certificate should be in Baph's hands by the time this gets printed. My team name is Palindromes. See you on Turn 225! -- Assurnasirbanipal Hammer -- Don't you ever fret. As long as you play this game I got your back. Your enemies are mine. I'd be proud to fight at your side! -- Talon Darkhart Goat -- All I'm saying, man, is that you're about ten pounds of ugly poured into a five pound bag. -- Talon Darkhart Toker -- Regardless of how nice you actually are, for this contest you are lying in the bed of dogs. For ten turns expect hell. After that, we might reconsider our position on you. -- TDH VU -- I wouldn't claim to be part of the Desolate Empire either. Lol. -- TDH P.S. Party in Goat's mouth.... Noachian -- Anyone a friend of Hammer's is a friend of mine. If you would like, you could join the ILLUMINATI team for the upcoming turf war. If you accept, Baph can consider this your declaration from me. -- Talon Darkhart, capt. ILLUMINATI Alliance team Baphomet -- Firstly, read the above ad. Secondly, please add Hammer to the ILLUMINATI list of teams. If I didn't declare him, here it is. Hammer, too, should be taking care of technicalities if they need to be taken care of. -- TDH Azrael -- I heard VU is goin to that party down there. Where? <crotch-chop> -- TDH Nemesis -- TURRRTTTLLLLEEEE!!! You made it! Nice team too! Just pretend they are DOOMcorps and beat these punks 'til they all start quitting. -- TDH P.S. I talked to DOOM (Polarius) and he and corps (Cosmo) might go to an arena football game with us. Hopefully they won't go and quit before it gets interesting. Bwahahahahahahahaha! Cosmo -- Yea, I said it. So na na na na na na. -- TDH P.S. Kid Kizzle sux!! P.P.S. Polarius likes drama. P.P.P.S. And you...well, I sorta like you. Lol! Ho, ho, ho! More Lard on top of SCOMSS Swamp! What a life we live. -- Oz The All Praising Hey Baphomet Man; we see now that both Slugbait and Mannequin have declared SCOMS Tower and that the notification of much improved leadership has hit. Now all we have to do is get Crip and Soultaker off their XXXXX (couch) and get them to act. Right? -- Oz The All Observant Crip Gretzky -- Please declare, pal. We need you and Crip's Crap. -- Oz The All Begging Soultaker -- Please declare, pal. Do you want me to write the personal for you? -- Oz The All Influential Sir Galahad -- Good challenge and great win. I actually did much better than I thought I would/could. But I lost. Bah, -- Humbug Spawing Of Spewn -- An interesting match up, huh? Thanks for sending me off to retirement with a big colorful W and another DM crown. I'll just bet you thought that one page summary meant that the striker defeated the total parry, huh? I'll bet you didn't think I swung that broadsword, did you? I'll bet you are feeling dark and grey, while I am feeling full of color. Ta da, Big Boy. -- Rainbow Jabberwock -- A good battle, you Hunk, you. I like wrestling with Studs like you. I like being on top, too. -- Hourglass Quote the Raven, "nevermore". Remember that, Raven, if you ever think of challenging me. We are not in Kansas anymore, pal. Nevermore. -- Toto (glad to be back in the land of SCOMSS) Marijuana Man -- I must have inhaled!? You did me in proper-like. -- Fighting Tree Puppetmaster -- "A wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was"? I resemble that remark! -- Oz The All Humble Barnabas -- I will certainly give Soulie my last crying towel (he has already used up the last dozen) for Skippy's demise, and knowing him, he will fill the towel quickly. However, Mannequin, who owns/owned Skippy will probably react in a different manner. I will send him your regards, though. -- Oz The All Helpful Captain Slugbait -- Hourglass is doing all possible to avoid the five recog points for DM. She wants to stay around a while and flaunt her figure. Women! -- Oz The All Puzzled (when it comes to that species) Putrid Patrick! Putrid Patrick! Gotta love that DA Monster Monicker. -- Oz The All Excited Heathen -- And back at you? Do we know you under another alias? -- Oz The All Welcoming Snarkism -- Passive aggressive? Probably. And aggressive passive, too. -- Oz The All Passive Aggressive Baphomet -- We can only salute your transferring the All Verbose title to Hammer. He has always been the godling preacher of verbose! -- Oz The All Praising Mannequin The Moderate? Moderate? Can I claim victory or tutorship for that shift in your ideals? Moderate? -- Oz The All Conservative All -- Good luck in the upcoming Turf War. SCOMSS Swamp is a rocking place, eh? -- Oz The All Excited All -- This is to inform all those that might need salvation, that the Sisters of Old Habits will be entering the next contest under the banner of SCOMSS. I am told that this contest will be a crusade to convert you heretics to see the all powerful light of SCOMSS. The sisters will be available for blessings, all you have to do in enter and supplicate yourselves before them. -- Father O'Malley *Baphomet the Blade* -- In case you missed my declaration hidden away in those 47 P- ads a couple of cycles ago, be it known that Hammer re-declares his ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ stable as registered with the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for your TW4 contest! -- Hammer/the Illuminati Ice Pick of Instructive Re-Declarations TDH -- Bah, football in any form is boring. But I believe the slogan you may have been looking for was, longer, faster, and the guys have bigger balls to play with??? -- Crip the Canuck Oz and others -- Yes, Royal Flush does declare for The SCOMS Towers. Apparently His Sluggobaitness has taken care of enrollment fees/certs etc. Heck, I broke out of four months of silence just to write this drivel resembling personal ads. -- Crip Fajr Falak -- Dark Arena? I wouldn't bet on that. -- Don King Titania -- You only lost due to the two on one advantage we enjoyed. -- Jack & Jill Galdr -- I thought there was something a little lopsided about that match. -- Ace Metric Leet Streegle -- We couldn't agree on who to challenge, so we went blind. Silly us. -- Jack & Jill Jack McFarland -- Sorry, do I know you from somewhere? -- Don King Carrion Wurm -- Better that you are worn out instead of my carrion baggage. -- Drama Queen Swamp Claw Hammer -- Ooohh, what a nasty surprise! Guess that is what happens to those who make blind challenges. -- Wilson Don King -- I KNOW you aren't really that tall. It's the hair. Adds at least six inches and makes you sneaky fast. Thanks for the whuppin' and skills, I think.... -- Jack McFarland MSK -- I'm just embarrassed. Let's try this again and see if I learned anything useful during the MI tourney. -- Woody Barnabas -- I hope it doesn't ruin your fun to learn Skippy is my warrior, not Soultaker's. :) -- Mannequin, mgr. Second Bananas Buddy Lee -- I think you made a wise decision changing your name. Dincuru Feadagnor sounds like a Gaelic liquor; everyone knows Buddy Lee as a miniature "Man of Action". Take it from me--sucker your opponents in with your "Oh, he so cute and adorable" act and then rip their hearts out when they least expect it. Works like a charm and has done me well for years! -- Mannequin Baphomet -- My champion is Bender. -- Talon Darkhart Toker -- Condolences. -- The guy behind TDH <back in character> Toker -- Hope you're ready to dance. I owe you for all those scum wins you keep getting on Ted Bundy in 18. Smart challenges though. Too bad you're gonna pay for it. *evil grin* -- TDH Goat of the DESTITUTE (Dirty Evil Skanky Tacky Insignificant Tasteless Useless Testicularless Egomaniac) Empire -- You go get all your clowns and pile up in that one little car you guys share and bring your jugglin, hippity-hoppity, big shoe wearin', ugly asses to DM-36 JHANS and see if you can collect on some of the DOOMcorps bounties on me and mine if you got the kahunas. But from what I heard, the vet snipped them berries a long time ago. DON'T SING IT...BRING IT. -- Talon Darkhart, PUPPETMA$TER, kLk God of War, and GOAT'S Big Bad Voodoo Daddy P.S. Don't scream.... Baphomet -- My champion will be Lil Bit. By the time you read this, you should have received mail from me containing Nemesis' roll-up cert. -- Azrael Vendetta@United -- Get bent, clown boys. -- Azrael Goat -- If someone puts you in your big shoes and tries to shove you into the swamp, will you back into them? -- Azrael Baphomet -- I declare for Illuminati. May Kjarran guide our blades! -- Noachian, mgr. The Ripper Crew Abrasive the Clown -- Look who rears his ugly head trying to make like he was a friend of Hammer, but now must dissolve and spit upon that friendship because Hammer has offended his honor by taking issue with his alliance members. You associate with the Defecating Empire and you have stepped into it, Clown Boy! The smell of it follows you with each step you take! The problem with getting your shots at my gladiators is that there is such a crowd of Clowns who want to take their shots. You have underestimated the temperament of he who hosts contests as indifference or at best a weakness. Hammer is not the same congenial host who saw you exit the Morya Madness with a 14-25-1 record that included 3 Arena Deaths and 2 Dark Arena Deaths among the ranks of your TEAM SLAYER stable. You, Goat, Wasby, and Toker have a history with Hammer. Goat tries to cloud the issue, but everyone who entered the Delarq Death Fest for the Opening Round Knows Different. Now you are in the Swamp for Turf War 4. Sling your insults as you please. Load up the Clown Car and bring it on, Clown Boy! You will find that Duel2 has become DUEL CRUEL where the Clowns are concerned. You Clowns have attracted some abuse coming your way from some other managers who know how to make life miserable for those managers who speak out of turn in an otherwise friendly atmosphere of arena competition. You want an Enemy, then You have found Hammer to head the list! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith; Minister of War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Infestation Eradication Noachian the Nasty -- The last time I heard from you was on the eve of the Morya Madness contest when one of your ENDTIME PROPHETS mercilessly butchered my beloved Ripper ROSE HAMMER. That was about two years ago, my friend! Now I am Humored and Honored to Hear that the Clown Noise has brought your Blades to North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena thirsting for the blood of those who have hurled and spewed their scorn and contempt publicly in an effort to humiliate Hammer in front of his peers. They NEVER Imagined in their Wildest Dreams that one such as Noachian would Suddenly appear out of Nowhere to Fight Side By Side with Hammer to Cleave and Grieve the Clown Circus that has trumpeted their way into this swamp! That STENCH You Smell is NOT the Swamp, my friend! The Defecating Empire and all their Dark Knighties are airing their differences against Hammer publicly in an effort to Bolster their Courage against someone they thought would just tuck tail and run. On the other hand, there are those other Clown Boys who are trying to distance themselves from the ranks of the Defecating Empire with Public Vocalizations of Denial. You Know that River that Runs Through Egypt? That Dirty Water is Much Purer than the Filth Spewing from the Mouths of these Clowns! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith; Minister of War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Inflammatory Introductions Clowns For Hire -- That Smell in Your Nostrils is the Defecating Empire and all those Goat Hairs that you tracked into your guild house from where your Clown Shoes have trodden amongst the Dark Knighties in your alliance! Not So Simple Heading an Alliance Now, Is It? Make Your Plea with Baphomet about how all this got out of hand without your knowledge! You Sow the Wind and You Reap the Whirl Wind No Matter How Much You Deny Your Involvement! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith; Minister of War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Indefatigable Interpolation All -- My champion for The Dreaming will be Dead Angle. -- Pdiddyklk *Baphomet the Blade* -- Finally made a decision regarding my selection of a Champion for my MEMORIAL HAMMERZ declaration with the Illuminati for the TW4 contest! After much deliberation I have anointed SWAMP LILY HAMMER to represent MEMORIAL HAMMERZ and the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances as my Champion for the TW4 contest! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired Investiture Mr Coffee -- Still have to write another couple of pages before I send you a Snail Mail. Perhaps I will get to that this afternoon? This P-ad is being written on Saturday, April 16, 2005 and I have been quite busy the past two weeks! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Interrupted Off World Correspondence Liam the Goth -- Welcome to the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for Turf War 4, my friend! Years ago in Vithicar Arena DM 49 Hammer chose to fight alongside another Vampire Manager who was being ostracized by several other managers at the time. My Good Friend and Sparring Partner Noachian should remember those days in Vithicar Arena as well. There is plenty of blood to be spilled in this arena and you can gorge yourself upon the Clowns if you so choose. Others may be repelled by your lapping the blood of fallen gladiators, but there are more disgusting managers one could associate with who are lurking in this arena than having a Vampire Manager in our midst! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Internecine Interventionism Tripwire -- Thanks for your recent tourney information and input. We shall see if SWAMP LILY HAMMER proves to be worthy of being anointed as Champion for the TW4 contest! Looking forward to watching your style of Bringing Pain during the TW4 contest as well, my friend! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Informed Decision Input Oz the All Agitated -- Hammer Here! Geezer! Cad! Is Your Stable Upset with Me? You and Your Stable Just Keep Graduating Those Warriors as Expected! Clear Out from the Champions and Challenger Champions and Come On Down to the Initiates and Introduce Your Self to All the Newbies! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired Agitation Slugbait -- Congratulations for your new role as the SCOMSS Towers newly anointed leader for the TW4 contest! Oz thinks he can slip away into the shadows of the sands unnoticed, but Mr Coffee will be keeping an eye on Oz while the rest of your squad is being kept busy with the Vendetta Carnival and Clown Circus and whoever else decides to take their shots. Of course, your teammates are not about to sit idly by with the defense of your TW3 title at stake! We can hear the gears grinding in your collective heads as you plot and plan your Challenges and Avoids! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Illustrious Introductions Talon Dark Hart -- Time to gather our Walker County Head Hunters along with all the other managers who are declaring with the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 and Get This Thing Done! Time is Ticking Away! Those Who Be For Us Need to Assemble to Aggravate Those Who Be Against Us, My Friend! Spotlights and P-ads are Heating the Arena and NOW is the Time for Our Wild Eyed Brethren to Assemble in the Swamp for Action! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Infuriating Infusion Ettiene Duplaix -- It took a while, but Grayghost got it done for us. Now let us toast fallen comrades together! -- Soulforge Bender -- You have earned my respect, no mas. -- Immazael, Barrenblade Black Thunder -- The Doc (Dok Sik) tells me I have a serious problem! -- Culonegro, Soul Seeker, Grayghost, B.B. TW4 -- I will not be participating in the Turf War this time. -- Big Nose Kate, Tombstone CFH -- My sincerest apologies, but I will not be here after all. Good luck to you and the V@U though! -- Big Nose Kate, Tombstone Baphomet -- Please amend my champion's name to Grayghost. Apparently he has some serious personality issues; this is his third name. Also, RSI confirmed that the cert for the TW is on the way. -- Wasby the Great, Soulforge Oz the all-powerful -- Thank you. I truly appreciate the advice, and I will take you up on it in the future. I understand a full schedule, with work, softball (oh yeah!) and summer classes, sometimes my head spins. But I'm hooked, so I'll be playing every turn. Just for the record, there isn't, nor was there ever, malice in my heart. -- Wasby the Great Big Nose Kate -- Greetings and much respects to you! Hopefully, we can fight side by side in the TW. Loved the shady reference! -- Wasby All -- Coming soon! "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best", a contest sponsored by Goat, Toker, and Wasby. Here's an open invitation to ALL managers. Prizes are BIG and costs are LOW! Come take our prizes if you can! An all arena ad should be posted soon. -- Wasby the Great Baphomet -- Thanks for the council and good advice you have given to me. I see the lessons in your wise words. As for letting it go in one ear and out the other, it might get hard at times, but I feel you have the right of it. Thanks for the words of wisdom. -- Dark Knight Toker Oz the all seeing -- No vengeance on my part. Someone seems to have cornered that market. I'm here for the enjoyment and the best competition in Alastari. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the witticism and irony of it all. -- A totally ABASHED Toker Big Nose Kate -- I have avenged the death of my warrior. There will be no further bloodfeuds. It wouldn't be right to keep bloodfeuding a proposed ally. -- Dark Knight Toker Nemesis -- The Vincere Aut Mori guildhouse is saddened by your loss of "The Kurgen." I guess he really did miss Casiea and decided to join her. She might even give him some loving in the after-life, instead of the pounding she gave him in life. -- Dark Knight Toker Wasby the Great -- Are you ready for Fratsfa's Quest for The Best? I've received some emails and diplos from most of the managers that I ran the contest idea by, and almost all were warm to it. The generalized comment was, "liked the idea, and would love to see Fratsfa rejuvenated." Most gave support and said they would come and check it out. I sent in the contest structure, rules and list of prizes this turn. It should all be printed in this newsletter. I have already sent a team to get their overviews before the contest starts. Looks like it might get crowded over there in the next few turns. -- Dark Knight Toker Baphomet -- Another p-ad, to let you know that RSI said another cert is on the way. Also, I received your letters. I appreciate the time you took to write them. I have just sent my letter to you. Sorry if it has taken a minute, but I am swamped with college papers and am preparing for my semester finals right now. So excuse the time between my letters. Once finals are over I'll have more time. -- Dark Knight Toker All -- If I have offended anyone, I want to be a bigger man and apologize for it now. I understand wholeheartedly when someone who is known by all and considered friend by most becomes so enraged by someone who's relatively new, then it must be the rookie's fault. I respect the feelings some may hold toward me. The whole story hasn't been told; however, all I ask is that the managers of this arena judge me individually and not let someone else's opinion make yours for you. That person and I started off badly, for which I'm truly sorry. -- A truly sorrowful Dark Nightie Stoker Alliance Mates -- Let's start sharing fight info before the contest begins. I'm willing to help or be helped by anyone interested. -- Skullagrim Goat -- Ready to stomp some A!! -- Skullagrim Duke C.F.H. -- The future is ours. -- Dark Knight Goat V@U -- I would like to introduce Lasher. Please extend to him all courtesies. -- Dark Knight Goat Hammer -- Congrats on your record. As usual you never say anything constructive to the up and coming managers. Of course it is the other manager's fault when you lose! As for dogs on a leash, I will only say this once: no one keeps me on a leash. I'm not a dog, but a Goat! So shut up and stop your crying about arena etiquette. You dished it out, so deal with it. Why do you keep reflecting to the past? Who cares! As for disrespecting your name and this mess getting out of control? I am Goat. I'm responsible, and for your recent claim to fame, you have been reborn with the help of the V@U. So kick back and enjoy it and leave the rookies alone. You name the arena and I will gladly create one of your so called experiment teams and gladly teach you some respect for your own name. We are hosting a contest in DM 52. Come get some! -- Dark Knight Goat P.S. I'll gladly do it here! Oz the All Best -- Managers should take some lessons from you! -- Dark Knight Goat BNK -- Let's discuss strategy. Diplo soon (very busy). -- CFH P.S. BTW, I never received yours (diplo). C.F.H. -- I would like to fight for your alliance Vendett@United for the Turf War. I would like to probate under you during the Turf War. -- Lasher All -- I am Lasher, manager of Team Mayfair. I am a new manager looking forward to the competition offered in this arena. Hammer -- Men often scream loudly when they can do little else. I've said all that I need to say. Wear your best suit; I'll make sure they bury you in it. -- Cowboy From Hell Baphomet -- A hotty armed with a sword and an attitude has sworn fealty to V@U for the duration of TWIV. Please scribe Big Nose Kate into your anal...er, I mean annals as a V@U eligible manager. -- CFH/Rat Salad Mr. Coffee -- Read it again. -- CFH Baphomet -- Received your snail. Write as I'm able. -- CFH BNK -- Thanks for your support. Ale and strippers are on me (literally). -- CFH Goat -- Not opposed to "you" being desolate empire, just not into it myself. Will write a detailed letter (diplo) soon. -- CFH/V@U P.S. We thought you were trying to split and/or making demands, with desolate empire as a separate entity. Wasby -- Sure, why not. Everyone else has pretty much had a shot. So why not him too? -- CFH P.S. Seriously, why not? (You know what I'm referring to, right?) Sho-time -- Send me a diplo with your questions. -- CFH V@U -- I will become active when the TW starts. -- CFH Oz -- I thank you in advance for any response you may have given me, but I finally received my two missing turns. (They were out to Tobago apparently from the envelope) so I caught up on my reading. -- Blackstorm Tunners -- You really must learn to move, my friend, else you'll wind up permanently motionless. -- Orange Kramer -- Now that was efficient, ow. -- Zombie Knight Holle' Cherry -- Interesting. Try to big toothpick maybe? -- Eviscerator Freeze dried -- We really coulda used some coffee, especially me. I'm so embarrassed about my attack. -- Black Thunder Daster Marque -- I thought you'd be a bit more lively, but thanks for those nice skills. -- MM All -- All this excitement over the Turf War is starting to get to me too. Now, is there any way I could get my BLACK STORM into the action? I'm not on bad terms with any of you as far as I know so I'd be willing to join just about anyone. As long as our team morals suit you, as we are VERY honorable and always fight as such. -- Blackstorm Oz -- I thought you had a team over in Arkers? Or am I mistaken again? -- Blackstorm Sir Chester -- Don't get too excited. I'm not competing with you. I said Pedagogue! As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis Baphomet -- I have sent a second request that a cert be sent to you. Also, my champion will be Mr. Crowley. -- Abraxis, mgr. Leaders Snarky -- Toast back at you (also void of cream and sugar). How about 12 or 13 rounds with me in the TW4? -- Mr. Coffee Baphomet -- Not more than about 45 minutes of TV for me a week unless they've got DVDs showing. What's a Supper Nanny? Is that like a fat girl waitressing at the Waffle House? -- Mr. Coffee P.S. Anyone that fills cups of coffee has to be cool! Amalric -- Thanks for our only win. -- Mr. Coffee Woody -- You're welcome for the skills. I won't be attending the tourney, but good luck to you! -- Cafe Au Lait Ahura Mazda -- How quick we forget last Turf War's alliances. Good show. Baphomet -- I accept Heathen and his team Misnomers or whatever he decides to call it, since it isn't here as of yet. -- Mr. Coffee All -- This is an "open" acceptance notice. ANY manager that wishes his/her team to fight under our Turf War banner need only declare in the next newsletter (224) to be accepted. -- Mr. Coffee Heathen -- You're "in." Can you accept snail mail? You didn't give me enough info to diplo you with. No one specific to target...let your blade fall where it will. -- Mr. Coffee Snarky/Black Storm/Feathers Flying -- Join us for TW4. -- Mr. Coffee Ripper Crew/Trebors -- Come on man! Join up for TW4. -- Mr. Coffee Leviathan of Lard -- A salute to the DM! -- Mr. Coffee Oz -- WHAT?!? SLUGBAIT?!? Now that is certainly over the Rainbow. -- Mr. Coffee Oz -- If I had stolen it, I'd be winning. -- Baphomet (not winning) TDH -- As in Jhans, offenders will be exterminated with extreme prejudice. Regardless of friendships. -- Baphomet Az -- Watch out for the Bucket Brigade! -- Baphomet (grinning) Liam -- Dude...you were supposed to be bringing chainmail and daggers! Not chips and dip! -- Baphomet Buddy Lee -- Oh, I get it...but...there are ladies here already, so I won't need to bring any of my own! -- Baphomet Abraxis -- I'm not a Dark Knight either and I don't support the Desolate Empire. Does this mean you'll be trying to exterminate them too? -- Baphomet Goat -- Ewww...you're in deep manure! -- Baphomet Heathen -- I received your diplo. Have sent one in return. I think we can start over from here. -- Baphomet All -- Those of you that have been around for a few years remember when I started the game. I was ostentatious, prolix, vitriolic and vituperative. I would inveigh, stultify, lachrymose and obfuscate everyone. One would need a veritable lexicon to decipher my tirades. I now promulgate my captious return. As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis Hammer -- Maybe you can hire Talon Dark Heart to clean up the puddles, you vitiate, glabrous, vacuous laser! As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis, the erudite one Hammer -- Accept me as your Pedagogue, so that my mellifluous verbiage might stultify you! As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis Baphomet -- After the untimely death of Culonegro, I will not declare a new champion at this time. Maybe by T-225, depending on replacements. -- Wasby P.S. Much respect to you. You've helped me at no gain to yourself. However, your alliance mates want it, so I'll try to give it to them. Oz the all-successful -- My p-ads weren't printed last turn so...thanks for the help and I promise to take you up on the offer soon. I appreciate it. -- Wasby Abraxis -- Loved it! My turn! UNITED WE STAND! -- Wasby Illuminati -- Wow! You guys are really charitable. I thought that usually when a broken, used-up, worn-out, warped hammer was found, it was thrown in the scrap pile. Guess not. But...you guys all seem soooo tough, I'm shaking in my boots. (yawn) Yes, I am a newbie (months, even) and yes, right now my team is all bad. Things change though. I'm not planning on going anywhere, so I guess what I'm saying is: Here I am, ready and waiting, standing here smiling. Line up and come get it. -- Wasby Baphomet -- As of now, CFH will not be here for the Turf War. I declare leadership of the alliance for myself. As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis Baphomet -- I confirm both BNK and Sho-time for V@U. As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis P.S. Dok Sik too. Wasby the Great -- Looks as if a hornet's nest has kicked. Too bad their stingers seem to be broken. -- Dark Knight Toker Wiefgraf -- Welcome to North Fork (SCOMSS Swamp). Glad to see you could make it. -- Dark Knight Toker Goat -- When is Lasher going to show? I know he said he wouldn't miss kicking some KLK behind for anything in the world! (evil grin) HA! -- Dark Knight Toker C.F.H. -- I follow your lead, don't let these lames try and play us against each other. If T.D.H. had any reading comprehension, he would have understood Goat's p- ads in 59! -- Dark Knight Toker (loving the idea of stomping some K-Lown kissers butt!) TDH -- Big, bad puppetmaster. I can hardly write this due to my trembling hand. (laughs) No, really, I'm scared. So you must be planning on carrying most of your alliance on your back huh? I mean, I know Baphomet is good and I hear you're good also, but as for the rest of your KLK god of blah blahs I have two words: Lame Horses. Yeah you got those wins off, but how 'bout your boys? They all seem to be having trouble beating me, a raw rookie. Ask Azrael; he challenged me last turn, but it didn't turn out well for him. (smile) Anyway, I'm glad you kicked this thing off, cuz this is what I think is the best part of the game. So fire off, I'll shoot back every time. I could act like your newest Lame Horse Hummer and claim to not care what my W/L is as a disclaimer for getting beat down, but I do care. Therefore, no vows to get even. I'll just challenge your alliance and raise my record at KLK fizzle expense. -- Wasby (beating his chest while screaming UNITED!) Wiefgraf -- Welcome, bro. Good to finally have you here. Be prepared though, instant perps are everywhere. Heavens to Meratroy, they're in the perimeter even. Stop by the UNITED Guildhouse. We'll break out the four footer and see who the real trash bag lung is. (smile) -- Wasby Toker -- I know you as a man who is intelligent, and who has shown integrity, generosity and honesty to me. Although you stubbornness has led to many heated phone calls (grin) I have always enjoyed to hear your stories about your "Saint of a Mother". So, believe that I too, have felt your grief. The loss of one's mother, I'm glad to say, can only be experienced once in a person's lifetime. All of your mother's teachings and good deeds will always live on forever throughout your life. I offer my congratulations to your mother for raising such a fine family. Your deed and actions only bring honor to your mother. Aesir and Vanir guide this spirit. -- your friend and brother in arms, Goat Hammer -- Sounds pretty dangerous where you are at. All crap aside, I only hope that you stay safe and continue to be able to do what you enjoy. Remember to always protect yourself and above all, don't lose faith in your beliefs. -- Dark Knight Goat V@U -- Please give "Death Corp" who is managed by "Wiefgraph" a "United" welcome. He will help us obtain the Turf War recognition that we wish to achieve. -- Dark Knight Goat V@U -- "Mayfair", who is managed by "Lasher" does V@U proud with a 3-2 on their first turn. Extend to them all courtesies V@U has to offer. -- Dark Knight Goat Baphomet -- Did you receive my letter? Cert? Have a team going to DM 25 not 36 as I said last diplo. Ooo fried lizard on a stick, must go get some. -- Liam the Goth Asmo -- That was the smallest diplo I have ever seen. Good to hear from you. Will send more questions to you just to make you write, HA! -- Liam the Goth Buddy Lee -- Duelmaster Hell Storm, nice one. -- Liam the Goth Hammer -- Hum...I kinda forgot to bring my scimitar with me. Next time you're in Morya could you be kind and stop by my guildhouse and pick it up for me. Paper Flowers is there and will give it to you. Thanks. -- Liam the Goth Lasher -- You are a quick study. Welcome to North Fork's Turf War. You're just in time to make the KLK cry all the harder. I will fight with you in any arena. C.F.H. is the Capt of our alliance (V@U) here in North Fork. We can always use an intelligent manager who uses the information that was provided and crank out a good turn. Congrats on your success. -- Dark Knight Goat C.F.H. -- Here are two more disciples for you. "Lasher" and "Wiefgraph" will be up to the level of competition that you require, with a little more training from your end, Captain. Let us know if will you declare Dok Sik, Lasher, Wiefgraph for the Turf War. If not, let me know by snail mail as soon as you can. -- Dark Knight Goat BNK -- Welcome to the Turf War. I think you would be a welcomed addition to our alliance. I would gladly have you join us for the good fight. As Abraxis stated, that is up to CFH. -- Dark Knight Goat V@U -- Lock and swing. -- Dark Knight Goat Heathen -- Come join us in Illis. We will also be fighting in Fratsfa, soon, to establish another guildhouse for The Desolate Empire. This is not an alliance competition, so maybe "Baphomet" might bring his fluffers so you can run some steel in their gullets. -- Goat Abraxis -- My mistake on the challenge. I did not check the team name of "Some Yung Man." I thought he was on the same teams as "Tso Tsung Tang." A difference of gaming style preference is NOT a loyalty issue, or meant to put a strain on any of our friendships. We already know how you and our Capt. over here feel about our style in the Delarq region. We are here for the long run with V@U, but we are going to light up the dim wits of the klk...klk! Doesn't it sound like high heels on stone steps. -- Dark Knight Goat P.S. Really enjoyed "coulrophobia". T.D.H. -- Are you and hummer related? The members of your klk part of the illuminati are nothing but a bunch of eunuch rejects and easy marks for our disciples. Your counter proposal means nothing to me. If you didn't have your heads in unlikely places so much (PEW), you all would have realized that the game is set up so you can come get some, any time, (Goat Sac) any place that you want. I invited you to Fratsfa so you can't hide behind your alliance mates. Which would be hard to do when you have lames like punkdiddyklk the lame and hummer the knee pad wearer on your enrollment lists, just to name a couple worthless wretches. So, if you would like a little one on one with the Goat, bring it to all your fluffers attention that I have enough stamina for all of you, be it in Talcama, North Fork (SCOMSS SWAMP), or Fratsfa in our upcoming contest. Good luck in this contest 'cause you're going to need it!!! -- Dark Knight Goat Sho-time -- Welcome! A new manager to another, get all the help you can if you plan to win. A lot of managers are friendly enough to help. -- Buddy Lee (Illuminati) Liam -- Closed up shop for tourney (everywhere). Went broke so I'll be running only here. -- Buddy Lee Baphomet -- Don't go chasing dragons just yet. The fun is just about ready to start. I only got the Dip finally. Thanks. -- Buddy Lee TDH -- You just keep getting those guys here. It's time to dethrone SCOMSS. -- Buddy Lee All -- Our champion will be none other than the mighty "Arauthator" (4660). Come get some! -- Sir Chester -- Draconic Realm (519) All -- There's but a short time before TW4 gets underway. Good luck to all of you. You'll need it! Smile. LOL. -- Sir Chester Mr. Coffee -- I'm looking forward to smashing your roasted coffee beans or sugar cubes, whichever you have on the sands. Braaaa haaa haaa! -- Valamaradace 28 March 2005 Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order to continue playing? Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with case law or legal advice? The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from us once (though I recently had that decision overturned). I believe it's only a matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need be. I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated! I can be contacted at: Danny Warren #28341 P.O. Box 250 Draper, UT 84070 or: Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47 28 March 2005 Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest contest ever to grace the arena sands! Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got it going on! What is this contest? It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!! This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up some of the slack. Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?). It's an "alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time. Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. -- Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances 28 March 2005 Contest Announcement ==================== It's finally here! ScumFest 2005! The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest scum in all of Alastari! Who: All Scum in Alastari What: Scum Fest 2005! Where: Talahya When: May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499 Rules ====== The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at the end of the 10th round. Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order): - Head to Head Record - Win/Loss Percentage - Average Fight Length (We'll go into overtime if they're still tied) There are no other rules. A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to accomplish his goal. Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc. Anything goes! To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter, declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants. You may enter the competition up until Turn 494. Prizes will be announced after the competition begins. The point of the contest is to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize. Good luck and Happy Scumming! -- Manager 6 April 2005 SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE I would like to make a formal announcement to all the managers of Alastari that the inaugural/memorial challenge put forth by Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest (Richard Hammes) has been approved by the commission. The contest will be held in TROCAR, arena 54, beginning on the turn that starts around June 2nd. Keep in mind that this is a slow arena. Before I go on, I would like to personally thank the commission for procuring an outstanding top prize for this contest. This announcement follows my last and entry into the contest will be a minimum $5 donation, which I will pool and give to a charity in the San Diego area in Richard Hammes' name and memory. My address is at the end. Once the donation is made, I intend to notify RSI of the charity and amount we donated as a matter of pride for them and us in this game! I will notify everyone in an all arena ad as well. The contest is pretty simple. Any team may enter, there are no restrictions on fight experience! There are no challenges, avoids, bloodfeuds, or tourneys allowed and only one single use of the Dark Arena is allowed after the contest begins. To help eliminate any interference, I am going to allow avoids of non-contest teams in case they are there to manipulate and affect the winner of the contest. Scoring is as follows: 1 point for winning 1 point for killing (giving 2 in total, 1 for the win and 1 for the kill) 1 point for at least one of your warriors writing a personal (regardless of number of personals beyond one you still only get one point). Make sure it is written from one of your team's warriors and not simply the manager entity or you will not get the point. -1 point for losing -1 point for being killed (giving -2 in total, -1 for losing and -1 for being killed) The contest will last for 12 turns, again beginning roughly June 2nd. May I point out that if you use your Dark Arena fight you will get either 2 points, for winning, or -2, for losing, and ALL fights count in the scoring. It matters not if you fight a non-contest warrior or a stand-in; they still count as much as fighting a contest warrior. This will be a test of basic strategy with a touch of luck added in as well. If anyone should break the no tourney rule they will lose 5 points for each warrior entered and those warriors, and any subsequent warriors who replace them in death, cannot score points! Break the no DA, challenge, or avoid rules (except avoids of non-contest teams) and you will be DQ'd as soon as the transgression is discovered. To keep the contest playing field as level as possible, we will have no messing with these rules. Of course you may DA the one time, just as a clarification, but the second time gets you DQ'd. This also counts if it is found you bring a second team in for the purpose of making challenges. You can bring a second team, just don't think they can challenge to give you an advantage. This means DQ to your contest team. A second team may also enter the contest with its own donation of $5 and adherence to the rules. Well, enough of that, I'm sure you'd like to see the prizes so here they are: 1st place - +1 bonus to one warrior on the team, 1 resurrection potion, and 1 favorite knowledge 2nd place - +1 bonus for one warrior, 1 favorites knowledge 3rd place- +1 bonus for one warrior Iron Manager - Run 54 of the possible 60 fights and get a +1 bonus potion The resurrection potion may be used on any FE warrior, however the favorites and +1 bonus potions must be used on a warrior with at least 5 FE. These prizes also must be used within 2 turns of the ending of the contest. Even those rookie level teams can figure out a way to use that resurrection potion if you think night fight ;), after the contest of course, so don't think this is only good for experienced teams! Check your rosters and unused RU's and see if you can't find a reason to come and test your mettle! Again, entry fee is a minimum $5 donation, money order preferred method but if that doesn't work for you we can figure alternate means. If a hopeful entrant happens to be incarcerated and the only real means of making the donation is an account transfer, please make sure you let me know where the transfer came from and which team it is for. I prefer that this only be used as donation method by incarcerated players unless otherwise discussed with me. Please drop me an email, or diplo my team in Tobir(14), letting me know you are sending a donation for entry and the amount so I can be on the lookout for it in the mail. Thanks to all who have sent their sympathies regarding our game's loss of a kind and admirable soul and my best wishes to all! Street Legal Jeff Bura 193 Pepperidge Dr. Wixom, MI 48393 triumph1971@hotmail.com THE DEATH SQUAD (63) in Tobir, arena 14 12 April 2005 A Question of Contests by Hammer the WordSmith The familiar figure of a veteran manager clad in an Elven War Cloak at a lone outpost somewhere near the cross roads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen sorted through his vast disarray of DM papers and notes. Hammer pondered upon the recent dispatches that he had received regarding the upcoming contests that he had been invited to participate in; after all, most contest managers enjoyed having a HAMMERZ stable on the sands, due to the fact that they were usually comprised of dues paying gladiators who were just a cut above the average RSI Stand Ins. The Scum Fest in ADM sponsored by the veteran manager named Manager looked like an entertaining offer, but alas, Hammer had NO candidates worthy enough to warrant spending the cycle fees for their fleeting participation in such a contest. Perhaps sometime in the future, when Hammer succeeded in graduating some Aimers and a promising candidate from one of his slow arena stables, would be the proper time. TW4 in DM 47 was already on Hammer's list of contests to participate in, especially with the convening of the Clown Circus in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena, along with all the other zany personalities and alliances that promised to make this the greatest ever Turf War contest that Alastari had ever witnessed upon the bloody arena sands! Those same Clowns had sent Hammer an invitation to participate in a contest that their Dark Knighties were sponsoring in an Andorian slow arena, but Hammer also had an invitation to send a stable to DM 54 for a contest being held in the memory of Slaughter Priest, one of Hammer's former alliance mates who had met with an untimely and violently unexpected death while doing a good deed for a friend off world in San Diego. Also added into the mix was an intriguing contest being sponsored by Zalgor Prigg that was to be staged in a few months in the currently closed DM 13 Dullens Regular Arena. Zalgor had contacted Hammer earlier in the year to inform the veteran manager that his newest contest would feature a first round Dark Arena Challenge to level the playing field. Also, each gladiator would have a hyphenated Style listing after their name for the Style Masters competition. An All Arena Ad Announcement was expected to be filed by Zalgor sometime before the Summer 2005 Tourney, thus allowing the DM 13 Dark Arena Replacement Warriors from the Dullens Contest to enter the Rookie Fall Mailer Tourney to prep for the contest. Hammer had been considering sponsoring such a Dark Arena First Round Type Contest, but it would be much better to just enter the Zalgor sponsored contest, rather than to be subjected to all the current Contest Host Harassment that was plaguing the many contest arenas throughout Alastari. A grim smile crossed the lips of Hammer as he thought about the possibility of the Clowns getting a taste of their own medicine while sponsoring their Andorian contest. Hammer quickly took a pen and paper, writing instructions to his gladiator trainer GrimmDorr at his Hammerz Flower Garden Morya Manor Estate on the Lake on the outskirts of the DM 28 Morya Arena, to assemble a Cast of Cast Offs to enter the upcoming contest being sponsored by Zalgor Prigg. Hammer jotted down a note to file the following stable with the Gladiatorial Commission once Zalgor Prigg had announced the contest in Dullens DM 13 Arena: ASTONISH HAMMERS stable to register DARK ARENA HAMMER--SL, DARK ARENA HAMMER-- ST, DARK ARENA HAMMER--AB, DARK ARENA HAMMER--BA and DARK ARENA HAMMER--PS for the Zalgor Prigg sponsored contest in Dullens DM 13 whenever the Gladiatorial Commission was ready. Hammer then turned his attention to the two slow arena contest invitations that tugged at his emotions for full participation. However, there was only room for one more stable addition in the current plans of the veteran manager, who had deactivated his SNOW CALL HAMMERZ in DM 50 to devote his attention to entering a new stable in a promising slow arena contest. Street Legal had recently cleared the air with the Gladiatorial Commission in regards to sponsoring SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE in DM 54, which would begin in Trocar around the first week of June. As yet, there seemed to be NO OFFICIAL ALL ARENA ANNOUNCEMENT from the Clowns regarding their contest in an Andorian slow arena. These Clowns had a lot to learn about sponsoring and advertising contests! Hammer thought back to two years ago when Maximillian had convinced the veteran manager to Co-Sponsor Maximillian's Morya Madness in the DM 28 slow arena. Abarsis the Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades in the Madness by entering a stable named LEE FAMILY. LEE FAMILY had NOT missed a single fight during the Madness until Slaughter Priest's life was snuffed out one dark night in San Diego while helping a friend. When the Delarq Death Fest was sponsored by Hammer in the DM 59 Illis slow arena, Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades by sending a stable named FASCIST DROOL to compete for the Ten Death Fest Prize Categories. Abarsis the Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes had been a true DM friend and a fine competitor among many, not to mention a close comrade in arms while Hammer had been a member of the Vendetta Cartel. As was written by Street Legal a.k.a. Jeff Bura in a recent All Arena Ad Eulogy to the Memory of Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes: "On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked. He was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken ill." Now the DM Community who either knew Rich personally from the RT and VC Emails, or from crossing blades on the sands with this avid DM competitor; now have the opportunity to Honor His Memory by competing in a DM 54 contest held in his Honor. Could Hammer do no less? This was an opportunity to set aside personal goals and allocate the necessary funds to enter a stable in SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE to Honor the Memory of Rich Hammes! Hammer quickly filled out an entry form to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission to register the following stable in DM 54 Trocar for SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE: Be it known that MEMORIAL HAMMERZ are hereby registering SLAUGHTER HAMMER, FASC DROOL HAMMER, LEE FAMILY HAMMER, HONOR RICH HAMMER and GRUNGE GRL HAMMER in DM 54 Trocar for the Street Legal sponsored contest in Honor of Richard Hammes a.k.a. Abarsis the Slaughter Priest. GRUNGE GIRL was one of Slaughter Priest's warriors from his FASCIST DROOL. stable that was entered in the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59 Illis Arena, so it was only fitting to name one of the MEMORIAL HAMMERZ gladiators after one of Rich's warriors that had competed in a Hammer Sponsored Contest. Hammer leaned back in his chair and reflected upon the memories of his fallen comrade from his days in the Vendetta Cartel. Tears moistened the veteran manager's eyes upon every remembrance of his fallen VC comrade in arms. Hopefully the odd assortment of veteran and newbie managers would answer the call to cross blades in Honor of the fallen Slaughter Priest in the type of contest that Rich had envisioned to one day Sponsor and Participate with some of Alastari's Finest Managers! This One's for YOU Rich/Slaughter Priest; May You Rest in Peace! Hammer WordSmith WeaponSmith Minister of War kLk Knight Illuminati Ice Pick 12 April 2005 FRATSFA'S QUEST FOR THE BEST!!! Rollup certs aplenty! Need to know favorites for warriors initiate or above? SURE! Renaming of both the arena and the D.A. Monsters? Why not! Skill bonus potions? Of course! This and more is all possible for the top 10 (ten) teams in: Fratsfa's Quest for the Best! What does it cost you ask? NOTHING! Who is running the contest and putting up the total of 30 rollup certs as prizes to be split up amongst the top 6 (six) teams? Dark Knight Wasby, Dark Knight Goat and Dark Knight Toker of the Desolate Empire of vendett@UNITED! The gaming commission is also going to supply prizes for the top 10 (ten) teams. Where? FRATSFA DM-52! When? The month of July, T-207. Rules! We, of the Desolate Empire, do not like the word Rules! So, we use the term requirements. Here they are: 1. One team per manager entered in the contest. 2. Only (1) Total Parry on your team at a time. 3. You must declare (1) warrior as your team's scout. 4. Managers that have teams established in Fratsfa must have 3 (three) warriors in the initiates class by the contest's 3rd turn. (If they wish to compete, or can send in new team!) 5. If you bloodfeud, you must use a different warrior each time to score the bloodfeud points. 6. You must declare your team in the p-ads to be entered. 7. A declared champion and scout cannot be the same warrior. 8. Champions are not required (manager's choice)! Champions must be declared on the first fight. We are also offering 25 bonus points to managers that submit a brief history (5 paragraph minimum) including your manager and team name by the contest's 3rd turn. These points will be added to the scores on turn 211. Now, on to the scoring: Wins + Kills - Losses = base score Base score + Variants = Total Score BASE SCORE POINTS WIN = +1 point KILL = +1 point LOSS = -1 point VARIANT SCORES SCOUT WIN = +2 points SCOUT LOSS = -2 points SCOUT DEATH = -5 points CHAMPION WIN = +3 points CHAMPION LOSS = -3 points STYLE MASTER FOR TURN = +1 point MOST AVOIDED TEAM = +2 points SUCCESSFUL BLOODFEUD = +2 points FAILED BLOODFEUD = -2 points Let's say (a) team goes 3-2-2 = 3 wins + 2 kills - 2 losses = +3 base score. His champion won (+3 pts) and is style master for this turn (+1 pt). His scout lost (-2), for a total turn score of +5 points. Now, let's say (b) team goes 1-4-1 = 1 win + 1 kill - 4 losses = -2 pts. His fighting marvel of a scout won (+2 pts) and the scout's win was a successful bloodfeud (+2 pts). So, the total points for the turn would be +2 points. (There was no champion on this team.) Now on to the prizes: 1ST PLACE "FRATSFA'S BEST": 1) 12 (Twelve) rollup gift certificates transferred to "Fratsfa's Best" ultimate victor. 2) Renaming of Fratsfa's arena for 6 (six) months. 3) Renaming of D.A. monsters: Wurmkin', Bandit Prince and Black Orc. 4) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 5) 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.** 2ND PLACE 1) 8 (eight) rollup gift certificates transferred to 2nd place manager. 2) Rename the D.A. monsters: Dark Champion and High Elf. 3) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 4) 1 (one) +1 bonus potion.* 3RD PLACE 1) 4 (four) rollup gift certificates transferred to 3rd place manager. 2) Renaming of D.A. monsters Mountain Troll and Shewish Giant. 3) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 4) 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.** 4TH PLACE 1) 3 (three) rollup gift certificates 2) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 3) Rename D.A. Monster Stone Golem 5TH PLACE 1) 2 (two) rollup gift certificates 2) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 3) Rename D.A. monster Spy Master 6TH PLACE 1) 1 (one) rollup gift certificate 2) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 7TH PLACE 1) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 8TH PLACE 1) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 9TH PLACE 1) 1 (one) favorites potion.* 10 PLACE 1) 1 (one) favorites potion.* STABLE STAMINA AWARDS: All teams that fight at least 67 of the possible 75 fights will get 1 (one) FREE tournament entry for a warrior of that team in the first tournament after the completion of "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best"! -- NOTE -- * -- All potions must be used within 2 (two) turns of the contest and on initiate (tournament class) or higher character on the same team that competed in Fratsfa, non-transferable. * 1 (one) favorites potion gives all faves: Rhythm, Tactic and Weapon. ** 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion gives +1 to 1 (one) skill. Our thanks go to RSI for their cooperation with us on the prizes they have sponsored to make this contest of ours a reality. Any questions can be addressed to Toker, mgr. Vincere Aut Mori in DM 18 or by email: darkknighttoker@yahoo.com! OR to Goat, mgr. Desolate Ones DM 47 or to Wasby, mgr. Soul Forge in DM 47. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS SHADOW RAINS was viciously butchered by MR. COFFEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. ZORE was murdered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee. ZORE 2 was murdered by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. BAFFLEMENT was dispatched by THE BARTENDER in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. GRENDEL was devastated by SWAMP TRAP HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight. WOODY killed MSK in a 2 minute Bloodfeud competition. PAULA BONES was butchered by JABBERWOCK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. MARAJUANA MAN devastated WYRD in a 1 minute bloody mismatched Challenge match. KRAMER overpowered STING in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee. SARA F. won victory over DASTER MARQUE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge duel. SIR GALAHAD defeated GANGSTA CREEP in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel. FIGHTING TREE assassinated GALDR in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge fight. SWEET N LOW was luckily beaten by CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a 2 minute Challenge fight. ANTON LEVAY subdued NIGHT TERROR in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge competition. SWAMP LILY HAMMER demolished PICUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match. DEAD ANGLE was overpowered by JACK MCFARLAND in a 1 minute Challenge conflict. HANTA was defeated by MELON MUSH in a 5 minute Challenge duel. LIL BIT slew IMMAZAEL in a 1 minute Challenge struggle. DROPSHOT vanquished DIPTHERIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray. SWAMP ROSE HAMMER was bested by GENESIS in a 2 minute Challenge brawl. VASH THE STAMPEDE devastated JACK & JILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. CRYPT ANGEL murdered BRASSBACK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. ZOMBIE ASSASSIN executed ZYKLON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. MIDGUARD was viciously subdued by WHITE SETTLER in a 2 minute Challenge contest. HITLER YOUTH overpowered GAFF in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fray. ROBUST BREW was devastated by DYERS EVE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. SON YUNG MOON overpowered ERON RIPPER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel. EBOLA (Z) was overpowered by DARK WARLOCK in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel. ANTHRAX overpowered AMALRIC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match. HOLLE' CHERRY outlasted CHARLES MANSON in a 12 minute beginner's Challenge duel. LEVIATHAN OF LARD overcame SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute Title bout. ART PENDRAGON was viciously subdued by ACE METRIC in a 2 minute veteran's duel. OSLOBEN BENBOBEN vanquished VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 2 minute one-sided fray. AHURA MAZDA was overpowered by B.B. CROSS in a popular 1 minute one-sided match. AMELA BUNDERSON overpowered LEET STREEGLE in a 1 minute one-sided bout. MINOR BLUE viciously subdued ZOMBIE KNIGHT in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match. DEVOUT CHRISTIAN overpowered CYANIDE in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. HUMBUG demolished LITTLE BIG MAN in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. FREEZE DRIED overcame KAT in a 3 minute fight. CRISTER MOFFEE demolished CAFE AU LAIT in a 1 minute mismatched match. BENDER subdued BLACK THUNDER in a 5 minute duel. STEAL SHANK executed TITANIA in a 1 minute gory uneven bout. DON KING was overcome by INCUBUS in a 1 minute match. APPIUS viciously subdued SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a 2 minute brutal duel. ONE defeated TRESSA in a action packed 1 minute battle. BLOOD RAYNE won victory over SWAMP CLAW HAMMER in a 1 minute struggle. CAPPUCCINO was luckily beaten by DRAMA QUEEN in a action packed 5 minute conflict. WILSON defeated ETIENNE DUPLAIX in a 1 minute brawl. EVICSERATOR was outlasted by WAR CRY HAMM in a dull 16 minute competition. DAVID KARESH overcame TARZAN in a 1 minute novice's match. DAY DREAM was defeated by ICHORID in a 1 minute gruesome novice's battle. BROCK SAMPSON was overpowered by DAINTY CHINA in a 1 minute uneven bout. AXELROD GUNNER was defeated by ICKY ICED FLEA in a 1 minute beginner's competition. BLACK BALL was subdued by ARCHANGEL in a exciting 2 minute amateur's match. DEMONIC HEX was demolished by PRINCE DARIUS in a 5 minute one-sided battle. BLACKENED savagely defeated BROCK SAMPSON in a 2 minute amateur's conflict. SHORTEST STRAW was bested by LOW FAT LOON in a 1 minute novice's battle. JUSTICE FOR ALL bested FRYLOCKE in a 2 minute amateur's fight. SHADE'S FORM savagely defeated SEALAB DEBBIE in a 2 minute bloody amateur's battle. CARRION WURM was outlasted by TARGET in a crowd pleasing 7 minute beginner's bout. CUP OF TOE defeated MUSTAFA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight. LOWELL handily defeated BULLSEYE in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided contest. MR. CROWLEY vanquished MAXIMUS in a 1 minute mismatched match. ETHER savagely defeated RICHARD CRANIUM in a 4 minute novice's conflict. HUGH G. GO overpowered ABDULLAH in a 1 minute one-sided brawl. MISS DE MEANOR lost to ASSAD in a 4 minute novice's duel. SIR PRIZE overpowered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |STRIKING ATTACK 27 PARRY-LUNGE 18 - 9 - 0 67 | |LUNGING ATTACK 19 WALL OF STEEL 53 - 38 - 2 58 | |BASHING ATTACK 18 AIMED BLOW 50 - 44 - 1 53 | |TOTAL PARRY 17 TOTAL PARRY 88 - 84 - 2 51 | |SLASHING ATTACK 14 SLASHING ATTACK 72 - 72 - 7 50 | |WALL OF STEEL 11 STRIKING ATTACK 109 - 117 - 11 48 | |AIMED BLOW 10 LUNGING ATTACK 73 - 85 - 7 46 | |PARRY-STRIKE 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 15 - 25 - 1 38 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 BASHING ATTACK 56 - 100 - 4 36 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 PARRY-STRIKE 15 - 27 - 1 36 | Turn 223 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 8 - 3 TOTAL PARRY 6 - 11 4 WALL OF STEEL PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 2 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 12 - 7 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 13 2 STRIKING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 8 - 6 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 4 1 TOTAL PARRY STRIKING ATTACK 15 - 12 1 SLASHING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 5 - 5 1 BASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113 17 5 2 131 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) WALL OF STEEL OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561 15 13 1 104 SKELETON KEY (493) STRIKING ATTACK MARAJUANA MAN 3411 11 4 2 103 BLACK STORM (171) SLASHING ATTACK ACE METRIC 3554 7 4 0 97 ROYAL FLUSH (48) BASHING ATTACK FIGHTING TREE 5235 9 6 1 82 LAND OF OZ (217) AIMED BLOW KRAMER 5191 8 5 0 72 SECOND BANANAS (573) TOTAL PARRY STING 2724 13 10 0 63 NEMESIS (32) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is AHURA MAZDA 5152. The most popular warrior this turn was CHARLES MANSON 5428. The ten other most popular fighters were WHITE SETTLER 5322, MINOR BLUE 5326, CAPPUCCINO 5382, ACE METRIC 3554, GANGSTA CREEP 5391, BLACKENED 5531, CARRION WURM 5550, ARCHANGEL 5579, ETHER 5572, and APPIUS 5392. The least popular fighter this week was WAR CRY HAMM 5436. The other ten least popular fighters were EVICSERATOR 5358, HOLLE' CHERRY 5437, TARGET 5573, MISS DE MEANOR 5575, DEMONIC HEX 5530, BLACK THUNDER 3885, ASSAD 5580, ABDULLAH 5582, RICHARD CRANIUM 5577, and MAXIMUS 5583. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: LEVIATHAN OF LARD (47-5113) MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) HOLD THE DATES! (FACE-TO-FACE XXXV AND XXXVI) Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis! Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005. It will be at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy. The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. See you there! Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe! Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006. It will be held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as last year by popular request. Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool. The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation soon before the block is released! (This is prime season for Phoenix, and several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.) Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet. We hope you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!