Date   : 04/19/2005    Duedate: 05/16/2005


DM-47    TURN-223

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-5113) [17-5-2,131]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(47-5113) [17-5-2,131]         (47-5391) [4-2-0,43]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)          LEADERS (593)
(47-5152) [6-9-1,44]           (47-5428) [0-3-0,3]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SECOND BANANAS (573)        72
2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      49      MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
3. NEMESIS (32)                48      Unchartered Team
4. LAND OF OZ (217)            46
5. OF WOLF AND MAN (603)       45      OF WOLF AND MAN (603)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 5*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)      7   3  0 70.0   1/10 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   10  1 1
 2/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   262 154 21 63.0   2/ 4 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 10  5 1
 3/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217)         436 283 14 60.6   3/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  4 1
 4/21*LEADERS (593)              9   6  1 60.0   4/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          9  4 0
 5- 4*MAYFAIR (607)              3   2  0 60.0   5/ 5 SECOND BANANAS (573)      9  5 1
 6/ 0*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)    3   2  0 60.0   6/14*LEADERS (593)             9  6 1
 7- 7 OLD HABITS (566)          25  18  1 58.1   7/ 1 BLACK STORM (171)         8  6 0
 8/10 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  27  20  4 57.4   8/ 6 THE JESUITS (524)         8  6 0
 9/ 6 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     29  22  5 56.9   9/ 9 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     8  7 2
10/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         582 461 30 55.8  10/22*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     7  3 0
11/11 COFFEE RULES! (505)      126 108  5 53.8  11/ 3*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      7  7 1
12-13 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      91  79  5 53.5  12/ 7*VINCERE AUT MORI (588)    7  7 0
13/ 9 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   34  30  2 53.1  13/ 8*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   7  8 2
14-15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     305 274 30 52.7  14/17*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     6  4 1
15/ 1*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      10   9  2 52.6  15/12*ADULT SWIM (589)          6  9 0
16/22 SECOND BANANAS (573)      38  35  3 52.1  16/32*SALEM'S LOT (605)         5  5 2
17/19 SKELETON KEY (493)        82  79  3 50.9  17/13 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   5  9 0
18/17 NEMESIS (32)             138 136 14 50.4  18/20*SOULFORGE (587)           5  9 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 BLACK STORM (171)         69  69  8 50.0  19/18 COFFEE RULES! (505)       5 10 0
20-20*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     15  15  0 50.0  20/19 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     5 10 0
21/14*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   10  10  3 50.0  21/23 SKELETON KEY (493)        4  1 0
22/38*SALEM'S LOT (605)          5   5  2 50.0  22/26*FALLEN (590)              4  6 1
23/12*VINCERE AUT MORI (588)    14  15  0 48.3  23/21*THE DREAMING (591)        4 11 1
24/27*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)      8   9  1 47.1  24-27 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      3  2 0
25/23 THE JESUITS (524)         69  85 12 44.8  25-15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      3  2 0
26/30 DARK PINNACLE (598)       16  20  3 44.4  26-16 HOME GUARD (402)          3  2 0
27-25 ROYAL COMATENTS (301)     56  74  2 43.1  27/ 0*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)   3  2 0
28-26 HOME GUARD (402)          30  40  2 42.9  28-25*MAYFAIR (607)             3  2 0
29-29 TREBORS (232)             80 111  8 41.9  29/34 DARK PINNACLE (598)       3  5 1
30/24*DRACONIC REALM (519)      10  15  0 40.0  30-28*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     3  7 0
31/31*ADULT SWIM (589)          10  15  0 40.0  31/29 NEMESIS (32)              3 12 1
32/ 0*MISNOMERS (608)            2   3  0 40.0  32/ 0*MISNOMERS (608)           2  3 0
33/32 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     30  48  2 38.5  33-31*BLEAK LEGION (601)        1  3 0
34/33*FALLEN (590)               5   8  1 38.5  34-33*DARK SIDE (602)           1  4 0
35/34*SOULFORGE (587)           10  19  2 34.5  35-35 TREBORS (232)             1  5 0
36-36*BLEAK LEGION (601)         1   3  0 25.0  36/36*DRACONIC REALM (519)      0  2 0
37/35*THE DREAMING (591)         4  16  1 20.0  37-30 OLD HABITS (566)          0  2 0
38-37*DARK SIDE (602)            1   4  0 20.0  38-37 ROYAL COMATENTS (301)     0  1 0
39-39*ZOIDS (606)                0   1  0  0.0  39-38*ZOIDS (606)               0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                                  Swamp Scribbling
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     "How delusional these Clowns must be!" exclaimed a grinning Hammer as he raised
his tankard of Elven Ale in the direction of Talon Dark Hart and Tripwire.
     The other members of the kLk alliance were not present for the impromptu War
Council due to other matters linked with their preparation for the Spring Tourney and
upcoming Turf War 4 contest to be held soon in the North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena.
     TDH and Tripwire raised their tankards and bellowed their response with hearty
     It had been mere child's play for Hammer to utilize an Ancient Elven Mind Ploy
to convince the Clowns that they had entered the Hammer guild house and pulled their
much publicized prank on an unsuspecting [and in their own minds] fear filled Hammer.
     The yellow and brown stains on their Clown garments would be difficult at best
to explain to their local laundry service.
     These perpetrators had imagined it all in their Clown clouded minds as to what
they had publicly perceived as happening to Hammer.
     The reality of the fact was that the actual recipient of the Clown Nose and
Clown Feet makeover was none other than the DM 47 Arena Master Okel himself!!!!
     This did NOT bode well for the Clowns' stables when they took to the sands for
TW4 in the not too distant future.

     Meanwhile...the gladiators of ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ took pause from the rigors of
their training to give ear to the Special Announcement conveyed by Hammer via their
     "Be it [BURP!] known [BURP!] that the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ Turf War 4 [BURP!]
Champion will be [BURP!] determined by your [BURP!] performance in the Spring [BURP!]

     ElseWhere a bony figure on a makeshift raft handed a blood stained parchment to
the waiting Horse Messenger:
     "Ride like the wind!" rasped the bony figure in an almost inaudible, yet
unmistakably urgent voice.  "For the Swamp Sisters have desperate need of Hammer and
the Pain Bringer this very hour!"

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                                 *Turf War IV Rules*

     In a couple of turns, the Turf War 4 will commence.  I thought I'd begin putting
the rules in the spotlights to allow everyone to become familiar with them.  If there
are any questions or clarifications, then feel free to ask.
     Everyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances
created to compete in the Turf War!  However, to participate, each alliance must:

A.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the SCOMSS Swamp
    Captains are responsible for:
    a.  Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their alliance;
    b.  Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.

     Managers must:
     a.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Gift Certificate to participate;
     b.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name and alliance
         they will be fighting under in the SCOMSS Swamp newsletter.

1.  No scoring will begin until a Gift Cert is received.  No exceptions.
2.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare and be verified by the Captain
    of the alliance he/she has claimed for;
3.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  No multiple aliases please.
    (Violations will result in disqualification).
4.  The contest will end on turn 237 (12 turns).  Winners will be announced on Turn
5.  The turn following a declaration and verification will begin the scoring process.
6.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 235.
7.  For the purpose of scoring, I reserve the right to make all final decisions.

                   Win     Loss     Kill       Die
Challenge           +2       -2       +5        -5
Match-Up            +1       -1       +1        -5
Bloodfeud           +2       -5       +5       -10
Champion            x2       x2       x2        x2
Downchallenges      +2       -5       +2       -10
Dark Arena         +10       -5       xx        xx

Special Scoring:
     a.  Each mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points (team mentions only).
     b.  Each Style Master is worth 5 points.

     a.  Champions may be declared, but are not mandatory.  If declared, the Champion
         must be in the Adepts or lower brackets on turn 224.

     a.  Bloodfeuds count for all four (4) turns.  However, the same warrior may not
         BF all four turns.  A penalty of -10 will be given to the team who violates

Special Conditions:
     a.  I reserve the right for all final decisions.
     b.  If I make a mistake, I'll multiply the points by 2.
     c.  If you claim I did, and *YOU* are wrong, I'll subtract points at the rate of
     d.  Each alliance begins with zero (0) points.
     e.  Dark Arena may be used on the first turn of every warrior with no penalty
         (this means a *WARRIOR'S* fight!).
     f.  TVs won after the contest begins gain a Triple Rate of scoring once the
         tourney reports are posted in the NL and run throughout the remainder of the
     g.  TCs won after the contest begins gain a rate of scoring of x10 with the same
         conditions as TVs.
     h.  No switching alliances once verified by an alliance that a team has declared
         for.  (Obviously...this begins when the contest does.)

     Any questions or concerns may be addressed (if you're incarcerated) to:
Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568), Dm #47 -- SCOMSS Swamp.  If free world player,
you may write to:

Rick Stringer -- Merit/East
SCI P.O. Box 500
Georgetown, DE  19947-0500

Prizes are:
     a.  100% of the rollups
     b.  I'm waiting to hear from RSI regarding arena name change and monster name
     c.  A special prize that I will discuss with the Captain of the winning alliance

Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar
Host of Turf War IV

P.S.  Downchallenges are not down in points, but higher to lower bracket.  Same
bracket?  Normal challenge regardless of recognition points.

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                                TURF WAR IV UP-DATES

     A couple of things I wanted to clarify for y'all and then I'll report
declarations and entries:

A.  I'm no longer reporting teams who aren't both verified and declared more than one
    turn after it's been done.  However, if I've received a cert...I'll report them.
B.  I think there will be the rules in this newsletter.  I'm pretty sure I sent them
    in but with some major health issues coming up...I might have fudged it.  We'll
    see.  Anyway, I'll be reporting them on Turn 224 and 225.  After that, but
C.  Just in case I forgot to clarify it, if you win and kill a warrior...you only get
    the points for killing.  Or dying (as the case may be).  It's obvious you win if
    you kill, and lose if you die.
D.  Please, if you need anything clarified, or explained...just ask.

     Okay, here's what I've got for this turn:

*VENDETTA CARTEL/Kat, Cpt.                         (0), (0)  v  d  cert?
     The Bear's Paw/Kat                            (0), (0)  y  y  n
     Managerial Mayhem/Fizban                      (0), (0)  y  y  n
     Natural B. Killers/Maximillian                (0), (0)  y  y  n

*VENDETT@UNITED/CFH, Cpt.                          (0), (0)  v  d  cert?
     Rat Salad/CFH                                 (0), (0)  y  y  n
     Leaders/Abraxis                               (0), (0)  y  y  n
     The Jesuits/Goat                              (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Vincere Aut Mori/Toker/Gangsta Creep          (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Soulforge/Wasby the Great/Culonegro           (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Dok Sik Killas/Dok Sik                        (0), (0)  y  y  n

*T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C./Mr. Coffee, Cpt.                 (0), (0)  v  d  cert?
     Coffee Rules!/Mr. Coffee                      (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Misnomers/Heathen/Hugh G.                     (0), (0)  n  y  y

*SCOMS TOWER/Slugbait, Cpt.                        (0), (0)  v  d  cert?
     Mystic Orc Feast/Slugbait                     (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Royal Flush/Crip                              (0), (0)  y  n  y
     Land of Oz/Oz the Friendliest Manager         (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Second Bananas/Mannequin                      (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Old Habits/Soultaker                          (0), (0)  y  n  y

*ILLUMINATI/Talon Darkhart, Cpt.                   (0), (0)  v  d  cert?
     Adult Swim/Talon Darkhart                     (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Draconic Realm/Sir Chester                    (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Fallen/Azrael                                 (0), (0)  y  y  y
     The Dreaming/P-Diddy                          (0), (0)  y  y  y
     All-Swamp Hammerz/Hammer The Icepick          (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Of Wolf and Men/Tripwire The Pain Bringer     (0), (0)  y  y  n
     Zoids/Nemesis                                 (0), (0)  y  y  n
     Knights Templar/Baphomet                      (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Gothic Ministry/Liam the Goth/Incubus         (0), (0)  y  y  y
     Dark Pinnacle/Buddy Lee/Steal Shank           (0), (0)  y  y  y

Notes of Interest:

A.  First, an apology to Mannequin and Soultaker for my being such a dipstick.  I've
    got all the newsletters from T217 and should have double-checked.

B.  Heathen, I've made corrections as you've requested.  Any further verifications
    and declarations will have to be done through the personal ads.  Sorry.  Rules is

     Well...that's about it for now.  We've got two more turns and we start banging

                            Baphomet, host

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     Peals of laughter rang throughout the vendett@UNITED guildhouse.  Goat was
doubled over clutching his sides while turning red in the face.  He couldn't stop the
flow of guffaws as Wasby and Toker told him how things had gone at the guildhouse of
Hummer.  Abraxis couldn't seem to hold back his chuckles either.  It had been his
plan which had worked to perfection.
     Wasby then told of his own plan and what had happened.  His spies and scrying
spells had warned him of the foolish plot against the v@U guildhouse.  Wasby also
knew of the pitiful spells to be used against them.  While he could have simply
countered the cantrips with ease, Wasby instead had decided to elaborately turn the
tables into embarrassment for his enemies.
     Compulsion had been a breeze to work on such a simple mind and was quickly done.
Azrael had never known what had hit him.  Wasby had then placed a major illusion
spell on the Illuminati guildhouse, which was no trouble as the fools there were
overconfident and lacked proper defenses.  Everyone laughed again as Wasby told them
of Azrael's shaking of the dead rat and his incantations which sounded suspiciously
like the rites used by Karragit swamp-dwellers.
     Wasby could barely suppress a laugh of his own as he told them how Azrael had
looked back and realized he had blasted his own guildhouse!  Loud bellows then
spilled out as he described how Hummer had arrived tripping over his clown feet.  A
small child had pointed, running up to squeeze Hummer's large, bulbous nose,
expecting a honk.
     Drinks were raised and toasts made us all members of v@U shared in the joke.
They all knew of the declarations in the past and looked forward to the battles to
come.  If embarrassing their enemies was to be this easy, the members of v@U knew
that the laughter would be both frequent and quite satisfying.

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 513): TOP CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 513): DREB 3 of THE LAWMEN (Marshal D, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 507): STALKING HORSE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 509): O. PUN PLEEZJ of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 508): DARON EL of MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 506): TMARACK of THE SIERRAS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 253): BALDER of VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 498): ENOSHIMA of BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): REZOS THE THRACIAN of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 495): SAVORY of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 493): LIONESS of DARK TOADS II (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): TIRO CUCKOO of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): HOT LIPS of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 209): FENDER GRALE of MIDDLE WAY 6 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 374): MACHINE of TOOLS OF TORMENT (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 353): COOL CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 158): ABASHI of BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 399): PARANOIA of DSM4 from ZUKAL (The Sandman, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 513): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 513): FORCE OF NATURE (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 507): STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 509): DAGGERS EDGE (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 508): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 506): VALHALLA (Odin, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 253): VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 498): BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): NUMBERS GAME (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 495): THE STORMLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 493): CASINO HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 486): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 222): BLACK STORM (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 209): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 374): RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 353): BLADE AND BLOOD (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 158): BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 399): LEGION OF DUMB (Carnage, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 513): T. ZER of LETTER BOMBS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
              (turn 512): CAT TASTROPHIE of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 512): PLATO of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 506): BATTERY of STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 253): BALDER of VALHALLA (KAT, mgr.)
              (turn 252): MAXIMUS DECIMUS of NORTHERN BADLANDS (Maximillian, mgr.)
                          LAVA RUNNER of PRIMAL FURY (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 251): REZOS THE THRACIAN of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                               TRASHIUS of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
                               ABYSSINIAN of THE STORMBRINGERS (High Lord Bosk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 495): DIETER KWAN of DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.)
                          LIL ETH of DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.)
                          PICKLED PIGSKIN of BUFFY'S DINER (Alfredo Frothingslosh)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 485): BARRISTER of BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 449): TIRO CUCKOO of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 228): STORM SERPENT of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                                 DEEP FRIED LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 158): ABASHI of BAATANAR'RITEZU (Asmo Dius, mgr.)
                (turn 157): CHINESE SIMIAN of K.B.W.F II (Polarius, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of SCOMSS SWAMP.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir 
to give you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  Nothing is 
certain in SCOMSS SWAMP, with changing loyalties, changing Duelmasters.  Write this 
down:  new top team--MYSTIC ORC FEAST.  Perhaps it is OF WOLF AND MAN members' 
intannibility that enabled them to move from 22nd to 10th last week...  (Less time in 
the sun...) Like a chunk of francium heaved into a wet pond, SALEM'S LOT blew up the 
rankings to 16!  LEADERS posted a nice gain, to come in 6th.  Everybody loves a 
winner...  I doubt many are quaking in their boots, but CELESTIAL KNIGHTS comes out 
of nowhere to get 3-2-0.  What does the future hold?  Watch this space...  Well, 
MISNOMERS, you can show this to your parents.  But you'll have to do better than 
2-3-0 if you want your names in this space again...  NEMESIS had cause to celebrate, 
after JABBERWOCK got 40 points by beating PAULA BONES.  A certain someone should cut 
down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 22 points to B.B. CROSS.  
(Discrete enough, AHURA MAZDA?) Those who hoped for a new Duelmaster were 
disappointed by SPAWING OF SPEWN, of MANEGERIAL MAYHEM, who despite a 10-4-0 couldn't 
overcome SCOMSS SWAMP's Number 1.  Word has it one team in SCOMSS SWAMP is using 
psychics to predict wins.  They lead a charmed life!   
     And how sociable are SCOMSS SWAMP's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Perhaps the 
warriors of DOK SIK KILLAS should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided 
team...  Like a pup with its tail between its legs, ROYAL FLUSH scurried away from 
DOK SIK KILLAS.  Oh, the shame!  Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and WYRD is 
it right now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't THE JESUITS proud!  Take heed SCOMSS 
SWAMP, of the unprincipled action of SIR GALAHAD.  By challenging GANGSTA CREEP, 20 
points below him, SIR GALAHAD besmirches the noble art of dueling.  SIR GALAHAD 
overcame GANGSTA CREEP.  The whole thing leaves a bitter memory.  Them's the breaks, 
PICUS.  Expecting fair challenges from ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ is evidently too much to 
ask.  SWAMP LILY HAMMER beat PICUS with a point difference of 23.  So this is what 
SCOMSS SWAMP calls a duel.  This will make an interesting tale.  As a confidence 
booster, DEAD ANGLE challenged JACK MCFARLAND, down 20 points.  Do you also slay 
vicious rodents in your spare time, DEAD ANGLE?  Next time DEAD ANGLE walks with hers 
head high remind her of the fight where she challenged down 20 points and lost to 
JACK MCFARLAND.  Do my ears deceive me?  HITLER YOUTH (outclassed by 29 points) 
challenged GAFF, in what promises to be a fight.(!) Fixed fights?  Paybacks?  Blind 
luck?  Whatever, HITLER YOUTH challenged GAFF, HITLER YOUTH the underdog by 29 
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  More than one 
waitress at The Dripping Blade was spilling more drinks than usual last week, as 
MSK's early demise became known.  What will FEATHERS FLYIN' do???  Congratulations, 
JABBERWOCK.  The manager of SKELETON KEY should have sent PAULA BONES to the Dark 
Arena for having a 18-13-1 long ago.  The audience gave a nice round of rasberries to 
GALDR of THE JESUITS, for expiring in such an ungraceful fashion.  7-6-1, indeed!  
STEAL SHANK of DARK PINNACLE sends TITANIA of NEMESIS goes to the Weary Warrior's 
Retirement Home.  SCOMSS SWAMP has no place for weaklings!  Justice was served as 
WOODY fought MSK in bloodfeud.  Well done, SECOND BANANAS!  Ask not for whom the 
sword slashes; it slashes for thee.   
     Do not think spyreporting in SCOMSS SWAMP is the highlight of my life.  As if 
buffeted by forces of nature beyond my control, I must take my leave of this place.  
Like a mixed metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid SCOMSS SWAMP farewell-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEVIATHAN OF LARD 5113       17   5  2   131       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JABBERWOCK 1277              14  15  4   130       NEMESIS (32)
-HOURGLASS 5127               17   2  0   118       LAND OF OZ (217)
-GREGOLA 5101                 21  13  0   111       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561        15  13  1   104       SKELETON KEY (493)
 MARAJUANA MAN 3411           11   4  2   103       BLACK STORM (171)
 ACE METRIC 3554               7   4  0    97       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197        10   4  0    93       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TOTO 3914                    17   9  0    86       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            8  10  0    84       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235            9   6  1    82       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WYRD 5167                    10   4  0    79       THE JESUITS (524)
-JENNA 5099                   13   9  3    77       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
-RAVEN 3354                   10   8  0    74       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 KRAMER 5191                   8   5  0    72       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MINOR BLUE 5326               8   3  1    65       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 AMELA BUNDERSON 5339          7   2  0    65       SKELETON KEY (493)
 B.B. CROSS 5323               8   3  2    64       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 STING 2724                   13  10  0    63       NEMESIS (32)
 HUMBUG 5199                  10   6  1    61       LAND OF OZ (217)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148             10   7  0    61       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 SARA F. 5349                  6   2  0    61       SKELETON KEY (493)
-LEPPADA 2257                 13  21  0    60       TREBORS (232)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PAUL BEARER 5187              7   7  2    55       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-YURI KARLOMOV 4215           10   2  0    53       HOME GUARD (402)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321         7   3  2    53       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-SISTER MARY SARAH 5137        9   3  0    52       OLD HABITS (566)
 CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318         7   3  0    51       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-TAKALEREIHN II 4260           5   6  1    49       HOME GUARD (402)
-BEAR NEKKID 5126             10   8  0    46       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              6   9  1    44       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 DASTER MARQUE 5196            6   8  0    44       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 GANGSTA CREEP 5391            4   2  0    43       VINCERE AUT MORI (588)
 FREEZE DRIED 5308             9   3  0    42       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564           10   3  0    41       BLACK STORM (171)
-KOZYTA 2640                   9  12  2    41       TREBORS (232)
-MAHARA 2656                   9  12  1    40       TREBORS (232)
-RASP 3353                     7  10  0    40       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 SWEET N LOW 5306              6   6  0    40       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 STEAL SHANK 5487              5   2  1    39       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393           4   1  1    37       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 WHITE SETTLER 5322            5   5  1    36       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-KELLANTH 3410                 9   6  0    35       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CRISTER MOFFEE 5289           8   5  1    35       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOODY 5412                    4   1  1    33       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-LADY ARCANE 4381              4   2  0    33       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 LEET STREEGLE 5368            4   2  0    33       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441        4   0  0    33       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-HALLE BEARY 5312              3   7  0    33       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262     4   4  0    32       OLD HABITS (566)
-PAVEL MOLARI II 3665          6   8  1    31       HOME GUARD (402)
 VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396        3   2  0    31       ADULT SWIM (589)
 DARK WARLOCK 5422             4   1  0    30       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 ANTON LEVAY 5429              3   0  1    30       LEADERS (593)
-PAVEL MOLARI III 4539         3   5  0    30       HOME GUARD (402)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481           3   1  0    30       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442        3   1  1    29       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-ARAUTHATOR 4660               3   1  0    29       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 HITLER YOUTH 5547             1   1  0    29       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BENDER 5395                   5   0  0    28       ADULT SWIM (589)
 INCUBUS 5423                  3   2  1    28       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 BLOOD RAYNE 5489              6   5  0    27       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-KENTSUI FURY 4382             4   2  0    27       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 JACK & JILL 5310              5   5  0    26       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-TROUBLE 4151                  2   1  0    26       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 MELON MUSH 5357               6   3  0    25       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DROPSHOT 5402                 2   0  0    25       FALLEN (590)
 APPIUS 5392                   4   2  0    24       VINCERE AUT MORI (588)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GET THE POINT? 5097           3   8  0    23       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
-FAJR FALAK 4380               2   4  0    23       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
-FRED BEAR 5348                4   4  0    22       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 CYANIDE 5444                  2   2  1    22       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          2   0  1    22       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 WAR CRY HAMM 5436             2   2  0    22       THE JESUITS (524)
 LIL BIT 5404                  2   0  1    21       FALLEN (590)
-SISTER SLEDGE 5341            2   1  0    21       OLD HABITS (566)
-BORIS MARKOV 4540             3   5  0    20       HOME GUARD (402)
 MIDGUARD 5410                 3   2  0    18       THE JESUITS (524)
 WILSON 5482                   3   1  0    18       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 ANTHRAX 5446                  2   2  1    18       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 GAFF 5347                     5   2  0    17       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 EVICSERATOR 5358              5   2  0    17       BLACK STORM (171)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885            4   5  0    17       BLACK STORM (171)
 ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377          2   4  1    17       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 DON KING 5374                 2   3  0    17       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          2   0  0    17       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 ARCHANGEL 5579                1   0  0    17       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               1   0  0    17       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 CAFE AU LAIT 5344             3   7  0    16       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494              3   0  0    16       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-VALAMARADACE 4695             2   2  0    16       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 DYERS EVE 5535                1   1  0    16       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-SUZANNE 5560                  1   0  0    16       MAYFAIR (607)
 HANTA 5443                    2   2  0    14       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
-BEN HURT 4150                 2   1  0    14       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 ONE 5533                      2   0  0    14       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 NIGHT TERROR 5420             1   3  0    14       THE DREAMING (591)
-STELLA 5561                   1   0  0    14       MAYFAIR (607)
 PRINCE DARIUS 5581            1   0  0    14       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439        2   2  1    13       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SON YUNG MOON 5427            2   1  0    13       LEADERS (593)
-BEAR SKINRUG 5399             2   1  0    13       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIR PRIZE 5576                1   0  0    13       MISNOMERS (608)
 BLACKENED 5531                2   0  0    12       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 CRYPT ANGEL 5553              1   1  1    12       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-KYLE 5523                     1   0  0    12       DARK SIDE (602)
 ICHORID 5584                  1   0  0    12       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 DAINTY CHINA 5564             1   0  0    12       LAND OF OZ (217)
-TSO TSUNG T'ANG 4391          3   2  0    11       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438        1   3  1    11       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408          1   0  0    11       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 LOWELL 5569                   1   0  0    11       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 DEAD ANGLE 5418               2   2  1    10       THE DREAMING (591)
 TRESSA 5388                   2   4  0    10       VINCERE AUT MORI (588)
-BADI AL ZAMAN 4384            2   4  0    10       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 GENESIS 5435                  2   2  0    10       SOULFORGE (587)
 EBOLA (Z) 5447                2   2  0    10       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 GRENDEL 5376                  2   4  0    10       NEMESIS (32)
 HUGH G. GO 5574               1   0  0    10       MISNOMERS (608)
-OBLIVION 5518                 1   0  0    10       BLEAK LEGION (601)
-CARLOTTA 5559                 1   0  0    10       MAYFAIR (607)
 MR. CROWLEY 5570              1   0  0    10       LEADERS (593)
 AMALRIC 5378                  0   6  0    10       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 ROBUST BREW 5400              2   3  0     9       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 ICKY ICED FLEA 5565           1   0  0     9       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 LOW FAT LOON 5527             1   0  0     9       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DAVID KARESH 5426             2   1  0     8       LEADERS (593)
 ETHER 5572                    1   0  0     8       SOULFORGE (587)
 SHORTEST STRAW 5532           0   2  0     8       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440        0   4  0     8       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 DIPTHERIA 5445                2   1  0     7       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
-CLAUGIYLIAMATAR 4694          2   1  0     7       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 BLACK BALL 5520               2   1  0     7       VINCERE AUT MORI (588)
 HOLLE' CHERRY 5437            2   0  0     7       SKELETON KEY (493)
 PICUS 5390                    1   4  0     7       VINCERE AUT MORI (588)
 SHADE'S FORM 5549             1   1  0     7       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 FRYLOCKE 5541                 1   1  0     6       ADULT SWIM (589)
 DAY DREAM 5417                1   3  0     6       THE DREAMING (591)
 CAPPUCCINO 5382               0   6  0     6       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 TARZAN 5542                   0   2  0     6       NEMESIS (32)
 AXELROD GUNNER 5401           1   2  0     5       FALLEN (590)
 ASSAD 5580                    1   0  0     5       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 TARGET 5573                   1   0  0     5       SOULFORGE (587)
 DEMONIC HEX 5530              1   1  0     4       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 BROCK SAMPSON 5416            0   4  0     4       THE DREAMING (591)
 CHARLES MANSON 5428           0   3  0     3       LEADERS (593)
 ERON RIPPER 5403              0   3  0     3       FALLEN (590)
 CARRION WURM 5550             0   2  0     2       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 SEALAB DEBBIE 5567            0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
 MUSTAFA 5568                  0   1  0     1       THE DREAMING (591)
 BULLSEYE 5571                 0   1  0     1       SOULFORGE (587)
-CHARLOTTE 5562                0   1  0     1       MAYFAIR (607)
-DANK MAN KIETH 5524           0   1  0     1       DARK SIDE (602)
-ROWAN 5563                    0   1  0     1       MAYFAIR (607)
 MAXIMUS 5583                  0   1  0     1       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
-TUNNERS 5525                  0   1  0     1       DARK SIDE (602)
 BROCK SAMPSON 5566            0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
-LADY SCALE 5517               0   1  0     1       BLEAK LEGION (601)
-LIAM 5485                     0   1  0     1       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 ABDULLAH 5582                 0   1  0     1       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
-FEL STRIKE 5516               0   1  0     1       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 RICHARD CRANIUM 5577          0   1  0     1       MISNOMERS (608)
 MISS DE MEANOR 5575           0   1  0     1       MISNOMERS (608)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JEREMY 5521                   0   1  0     1       DARK SIDE (602)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FAMILY GUY 5398        1  3 0 ADULT SWIM 589        B.B. CROSS 5323       222         
CLOCKWORK ORANGE 5415  2  1 0 BLACK STORM 171       ANTON LEVAY 5429      222         
WEAKNESS 5515          0  1 0 BLEAK LEGION 601      INCUBUS 5423          222         
BIRD 5522              0  1 0 DARK SIDE 602         ANTHRAX 5446          221         
ZORE 5503              0  1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    PUTRID PATRICK 19     223 NONE    
ZORE 2 5502            0  1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    GUILLOTINE GARTH 20   223 NONE    
KNIGHTMARE 5419        0  1 0 THE DREAMING 591      SWAMP CLAW HAMME 5438 220 REVENGED
SHADOW RAINS 5405      0  3 0 FALLEN 590            MR. COFFEE 24         223 NONE    
MSK 5507               2  1 1 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   WOODY 5412            223         
BRASSBACK 5544         0  2 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   CRYPT ANGEL 5553      223         
KELSO 5324             2  4 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   WHITE SETTLER 5322    219 REVENGED
GALDR 5171             7  6 1 THE JESUITS 524       FIGHTING TREE 5235    223         
ZYKLON 5548            1  1 0 THE JESUITS 524       ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552  223         
JIM JONES 5430         1  1 0 LEADERS 593           DEAD ANGLE 5418       222         
BEWARE OF CLONES 5409  0  1 0 LIFE'S LESSONS 562    CYANIDE 5444          220 REVENGED
BAFFLEMENT 5578        0  1 0 MISNOMERS 608         THE BARTENDER 26      223 NONE    
TITANIA 2958           3  9 0 NEMESIS 32            STEAL SHANK 5487      223         
THE KURGEN 5375        1  3 0 NEMESIS 32            SWAMP TRAP HAMME 5442 221         
SKIPPY 5411            1  2 0 SECOND BANANAS 573    MSK 5507              221 JUST REV
PAULA BONES 4414      18 14 1 SKELETON KEY 493      JABBERWOCK 1277       223         
IMMAZAEL 5384          2  4 1 SOULFORGE 587         LIL BIT 5404          223         
THE INFINITE 5383      1  1 0 SOULFORGE 587         LITTLE BIG MAN 5393   219 NOT REVE
LAST ROACH 5386        0  2 0 SOULFORGE 587         DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 219 NOT REVE
SOUL SEEKER 5387       2  3 1 SOULFORGE 587         DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 222         
SHADOW 5434            1  2 0 SOULFORGE 587         SWAMP BURP HAMME 5439 222         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Pdiddy the Punk -- You must be delusional. -- Polarius, Warlord of DOOMcorps

Baphomet/All -- I am officially declaring my intention to join Illuminati.  Rollup
Certificate should be in Baph's hands by the time this gets printed.  My team name is
Palindromes.  See you on Turn 225! -- Assurnasirbanipal

Hammer -- Don't you ever fret.  As long as you play this game I got your back.  Your
enemies are mine.  I'd be proud to fight at your side! -- Talon Darkhart

Goat -- All I'm saying, man, is that you're about ten pounds of ugly poured into a
five pound bag. -- Talon Darkhart

Toker -- Regardless of how nice you actually are, for this contest you are lying in
the bed of dogs.  For ten turns expect hell.  After that, we might reconsider our
position on you. -- TDH

VU -- I wouldn't claim to be part of the Desolate Empire either.  Lol. -- TDH
P.S.  Party in Goat's mouth....

Noachian -- Anyone a friend of Hammer's is a friend of mine.  If you would like, you
could join the ILLUMINATI team for the upcoming turf war.  If you accept, Baph can
consider this your declaration from me. -- Talon Darkhart, capt. ILLUMINATI Alliance

Baphomet -- Firstly, read the above ad.  Secondly, please add Hammer to the
ILLUMINATI list of teams.  If I didn't declare him, here it is.  Hammer, too, should
be taking care of technicalities if they need to be taken care of. -- TDH

Azrael -- I heard VU is goin to that party down there.  Where?  <crotch-chop> -- TDH

Nemesis -- TURRRTTTLLLLEEEE!!!  You made it!  Nice team too!  Just pretend they are
DOOMcorps and beat these punks 'til they all start quitting. -- TDH
P.S.  I talked to DOOM (Polarius) and he and corps (Cosmo) might go to an arena
football game with us.  Hopefully they won't go and quit before it gets interesting.

Cosmo -- Yea, I said it.  So na na na na na na. -- TDH
P.S.  Kid Kizzle sux!!
P.P.S.  Polarius likes drama.
P.P.P.S.  And you...well, I sorta like you.  Lol!

Ho, ho, ho!  More Lard on top of SCOMSS Swamp!  What a life we live. -- Oz The All

Hey Baphomet Man; we see now that both Slugbait and Mannequin have declared SCOMS
Tower and that the notification of much improved leadership has hit.  Now all we have
to do is get Crip and Soultaker off their XXXXX (couch) and get them to act.  Right?
-- Oz The All Observant

Crip Gretzky -- Please declare, pal.  We need you and Crip's Crap. -- Oz The All

Soultaker -- Please declare, pal.  Do you want me to write the personal for you? --
Oz The All Influential

Sir Galahad -- Good challenge and great win.  I actually did much better than I
thought I would/could.  But I lost. Bah, -- Humbug

Spawing Of Spewn -- An interesting match up, huh?  Thanks for sending me off to
retirement with a big colorful W and another DM crown.  I'll just bet you thought
that one page summary meant that the striker defeated the total parry, huh?  I'll bet
you didn't think I swung that broadsword, did you?  I'll bet you are feeling dark and
grey, while I am feeling full of color.  Ta da, Big Boy. -- Rainbow

Jabberwock -- A good battle, you Hunk, you.  I like wrestling with Studs like you.  I
like being on top, too. -- Hourglass

Quote the Raven, "nevermore".  Remember that, Raven, if you ever think of challenging
me.  We are not in Kansas anymore, pal.  Nevermore. -- Toto (glad to be back in the
land of SCOMSS)

Marijuana Man -- I must have inhaled!?  You did me in proper-like. -- Fighting Tree

Puppetmaster -- "A wiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was"?  I resemble that remark! --
Oz The All Humble

Barnabas -- I will certainly give Soulie my last crying towel (he has already used up
the last dozen) for Skippy's demise, and knowing him, he will fill the towel quickly.
However, Mannequin, who owns/owned Skippy will probably react in a different manner.
I will send him your regards, though. -- Oz The All Helpful

Captain Slugbait -- Hourglass is doing all possible to avoid the five recog points
for DM.  She wants to stay around a while and flaunt her figure.  Women! -- Oz The
All Puzzled (when it comes to that species)

Putrid Patrick!  Putrid Patrick!  Gotta love that DA Monster Monicker. -- Oz The All

Heathen -- And back at you?  Do we know you under another alias? -- Oz The All

Snarkism -- Passive aggressive?  Probably.  And aggressive passive, too. -- Oz The
All Passive Aggressive

Baphomet -- We can only salute your transferring the All Verbose title to Hammer.  He
has always been the godling preacher of verbose! -- Oz The All Praising

Mannequin The Moderate?  Moderate?  Can I claim victory or tutorship for that shift
in your ideals?  Moderate? -- Oz The All Conservative

All -- Good luck in the upcoming Turf War.  SCOMSS Swamp is a rocking place, eh? --
Oz The All Excited

All -- This is to inform all those that might need salvation, that the Sisters of Old
Habits will be entering the next contest under the banner of SCOMSS.  I am told that
this contest will be a crusade to convert you heretics to see the all powerful light
of SCOMSS.  The sisters will be available for blessings, all you have to do in enter
and supplicate yourselves before them. -- Father O'Malley

*Baphomet the Blade* -- In case you missed my declaration hidden away in those 47 P-
ads a couple of cycles ago, be it known that Hammer re-declares his ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ
stable as registered with the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for your TW4
contest! -- Hammer/the Illuminati Ice Pick of Instructive Re-Declarations

TDH -- Bah, football in any form is boring.  But I believe the slogan you may have
been looking for was, longer, faster, and the guys have bigger balls to play with???
-- Crip the Canuck

Oz and others -- Yes, Royal Flush does declare for The SCOMS Towers.  Apparently His
Sluggobaitness has taken care of enrollment fees/certs etc.  Heck, I broke out of
four months of silence just to write this drivel resembling personal ads. -- Crip

Fajr Falak -- Dark Arena?  I wouldn't bet on that. -- Don King

Titania -- You only lost due to the two on one advantage we enjoyed. -- Jack & Jill

Galdr -- I thought there was something a little lopsided about that match. -- Ace

Leet Streegle -- We couldn't agree on who to challenge, so we went blind.  Silly us.
-- Jack & Jill

Jack McFarland -- Sorry, do I know you from somewhere? -- Don King

Carrion Wurm -- Better that you are worn out instead of my carrion baggage. -- Drama

Swamp Claw Hammer -- Ooohh, what a nasty surprise!  Guess that is what happens to
those who make blind challenges. -- Wilson

Don King -- I KNOW you aren't really that tall.  It's the hair.  Adds at least six
inches and makes you sneaky fast.  Thanks for the whuppin' and skills, I think.... --
Jack McFarland

MSK -- I'm just embarrassed.  Let's try this again and see if I learned anything
useful during the MI tourney. -- Woody

Barnabas -- I hope it doesn't ruin your fun to learn Skippy is my warrior, not
Soultaker's.  :) -- Mannequin, mgr. Second Bananas

Buddy Lee -- I think you made a wise decision changing your name.  Dincuru Feadagnor
sounds like a Gaelic liquor; everyone knows Buddy Lee as a miniature "Man of Action".
Take it from me--sucker your opponents in with your "Oh, he so cute and adorable" act
and then rip their hearts out when they least expect it.  Works like a charm and has
done me well for years! -- Mannequin

Baphomet -- My champion is Bender. -- Talon Darkhart

Toker -- Condolences. -- The guy behind TDH

<back in character>

Toker -- Hope you're ready to dance.  I owe you for all those scum wins you keep
getting on Ted Bundy in 18.  Smart challenges though.  Too bad you're gonna pay for
it.  *evil grin* -- TDH

Goat of the DESTITUTE (Dirty Evil Skanky Tacky Insignificant Tasteless Useless
Testicularless Egomaniac) Empire -- You go get all your clowns and pile up in that
one little car you guys share and bring your jugglin, hippity-hoppity, big shoe
wearin', ugly asses to DM-36 JHANS and see if you can collect on some of the
DOOMcorps bounties on me and mine if you got the kahunas.  But from what I heard, the
vet snipped them berries a long time ago.  DON'T SING IT...BRING IT. -- Talon
Darkhart, PUPPETMA$TER, kLk God of War, and GOAT'S Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
P.S.  Don't scream....

Baphomet -- My champion will be Lil Bit.  By the time you read this, you should have
received mail from me containing Nemesis' roll-up cert. -- Azrael

Vendetta@United -- Get bent, clown boys. -- Azrael

Goat -- If someone puts you in your big shoes and tries to shove you into the swamp,
will you back into them? -- Azrael

Baphomet -- I declare for Illuminati.  May Kjarran guide our blades! -- Noachian,
mgr. The Ripper Crew

Abrasive the Clown -- Look who rears his ugly head trying to make like he was a
friend of Hammer, but now must dissolve and spit upon that friendship because Hammer
has offended his honor by taking issue with his alliance members.  You associate with
the Defecating Empire and you have stepped into it, Clown Boy!  The smell of it
follows you with each step you take!  The problem with getting your shots at my
gladiators is that there is such a crowd of Clowns who want to take their shots.  You
have underestimated the temperament of he who hosts contests as indifference or at
best a weakness.  Hammer is not the same congenial host who saw you exit the Morya
Madness with a 14-25-1 record that included 3 Arena Deaths and 2 Dark Arena Deaths
among the ranks of your TEAM SLAYER stable.  You, Goat, Wasby, and Toker have a
history with Hammer.  Goat tries to cloud the issue, but everyone who entered the
Delarq Death Fest for the Opening Round Knows Different.  Now you are in the Swamp
for Turf War 4.  Sling your insults as you please.  Load up the Clown Car and bring
it on, Clown Boy!  You will find that Duel2 has become DUEL CRUEL where the Clowns
are concerned.  You Clowns have attracted some abuse coming your way from some other
managers who know how to make life miserable for those managers who speak out of turn
in an otherwise friendly atmosphere of arena competition.  You want an Enemy, then
You have found Hammer to head the list! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith;
Minister of War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Infestation Eradication

Noachian the Nasty -- The last time I heard from you was on the eve of the Morya
Madness contest when one of your ENDTIME PROPHETS mercilessly butchered my beloved
Ripper ROSE HAMMER.  That was about two years ago, my friend!  Now I am Humored and
Honored to Hear that the Clown Noise has brought your Blades to North Fork/SCOMSS
Swamp Arena thirsting for the blood of those who have hurled and spewed their scorn
and contempt publicly in an effort to humiliate Hammer in front of his peers.  They
NEVER Imagined in their Wildest Dreams that one such as Noachian would Suddenly
appear out of Nowhere to Fight Side By Side with Hammer to Cleave and Grieve the
Clown Circus that has trumpeted their way into this swamp!  That STENCH You Smell is
NOT the Swamp, my friend!  The Defecating Empire and all their Dark Knighties are
airing their differences against Hammer publicly in an effort to Bolster their
Courage against someone they thought would just tuck tail and run.  On the other
hand, there are those other Clown Boys who are trying to distance themselves from the
ranks of the Defecating Empire with Public Vocalizations of Denial.  You Know that
River that Runs Through Egypt?  That Dirty Water is Much Purer than the Filth Spewing
from the Mouths of these Clowns! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith; Minister of
War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Inflammatory Introductions

Clowns For Hire -- That Smell in Your Nostrils is the Defecating Empire and all those
Goat Hairs that you tracked into your guild house from where your Clown Shoes have
trodden amongst the Dark Knighties in your alliance!  Not So Simple Heading an
Alliance Now, Is It?  Make Your Plea with Baphomet about how all this got out of hand
without your knowledge!  You Sow the Wind and You Reap the Whirl Wind No Matter How
Much You Deny Your Involvement! -- Hammer the WordSmith; WeaponSmith; Minister of
War; kLk Knight and Illuminati Ice Pick of Indefatigable Interpolation

All -- My champion for The Dreaming will be Dead Angle. -- Pdiddyklk

*Baphomet the Blade* -- Finally made a decision regarding my selection of a Champion
for my MEMORIAL HAMMERZ declaration with the Illuminati for the TW4 contest!  After
much deliberation I have anointed SWAMP LILY HAMMER to represent MEMORIAL HAMMERZ and
the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances as my Champion for the TW4 contest! --
Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired Investiture

Mr Coffee -- Still have to write another couple of pages before I send you a Snail
Mail.  Perhaps I will get to that this afternoon?  This P-ad is being written on
Saturday, April 16, 2005 and I have been quite busy the past two weeks! -- Hammer the
Illuminati Ice Pick of Interrupted Off World Correspondence

Liam the Goth -- Welcome to the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for Turf War 4,
my friend!  Years ago in Vithicar Arena DM 49 Hammer chose to fight alongside another
Vampire Manager who was being ostracized by several other managers at the time.  My
Good Friend and Sparring Partner Noachian should remember those days in Vithicar
Arena as well.  There is plenty of blood to be spilled in this arena and you can
gorge yourself upon the Clowns if you so choose.  Others may be repelled by your
lapping the blood of fallen gladiators, but there are more disgusting managers one
could associate with who are lurking in this arena than having a Vampire Manager in
our midst! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Internecine Interventionism

Tripwire -- Thanks for your recent tourney information and input.  We shall see if
SWAMP LILY HAMMER proves to be worthy of being anointed as Champion for the TW4
contest!  Looking forward to watching your style of Bringing Pain during the TW4
contest as well, my friend! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Informed Decision

Oz the All Agitated -- Hammer Here!  Geezer!  Cad!  Is Your Stable Upset with Me?
You and Your Stable Just Keep Graduating Those Warriors as Expected!  Clear Out from
the Champions and Challenger Champions and Come On Down to the Initiates and
Introduce Your Self to All the Newbies! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired

Slugbait -- Congratulations for your new role as the SCOMSS Towers newly anointed
leader for the TW4 contest!  Oz thinks he can slip away into the shadows of the sands
unnoticed, but Mr Coffee will be keeping an eye on Oz while the rest of your squad is
being kept busy with the Vendetta Carnival and Clown Circus and whoever else decides
to take their shots.  Of course, your teammates are not about to sit idly by with the
defense of your TW3 title at stake!  We can hear the gears grinding in your
collective heads as you plot and plan your Challenges and Avoids! -- Hammer the
Illuminati Ice Pick of Illustrious Introductions

Talon Dark Hart -- Time to gather our Walker County Head Hunters along with all the
other managers who are declaring with the Illuminati Confederation of Alliances for
the TW4 and Get This Thing Done!  Time is Ticking Away!  Those Who Be For Us Need to
Assemble to Aggravate Those Who Be Against Us, My Friend!  Spotlights and P-ads are
Heating the Arena and NOW is the Time for Our Wild Eyed Brethren to Assemble in the
Swamp for Action! -- Hammer the Illuminati Ice Pick of Infuriating Infusion

Ettiene Duplaix -- It took a while, but Grayghost got it done for us.  Now let us
toast fallen comrades together! -- Soulforge

Bender -- You have earned my respect, no mas. -- Immazael, Barrenblade

Black Thunder -- The Doc (Dok Sik) tells me I have a serious problem! -- Culonegro,
Soul Seeker, Grayghost, B.B.

TW4 -- I will not be participating in the Turf War this time. -- Big Nose Kate,

CFH -- My sincerest apologies, but I will not be here after all.  Good luck to you
and the V@U though! -- Big Nose Kate, Tombstone

Baphomet -- Please amend my champion's name to Grayghost.  Apparently he has some
serious personality issues; this is his third name.  Also, RSI confirmed that the
cert for the TW is on the way. -- Wasby the Great, Soulforge

Oz the all-powerful -- Thank you.  I truly appreciate the advice, and I will take you
up on it in the future.  I understand a full schedule, with work, softball (oh yeah!)
and summer classes, sometimes my head spins.  But I'm hooked, so I'll be playing
every turn.  Just for the record, there isn't, nor was there ever, malice in my
heart. -- Wasby the Great

Big Nose Kate -- Greetings and much respects to you!  Hopefully, we can fight side by
side in the TW.  Loved the shady reference! -- Wasby

All -- Coming soon!  "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best", a contest sponsored by Goat,
Toker, and Wasby.  Here's an open invitation to ALL managers.  Prizes are BIG and
costs are LOW!  Come take our prizes if you can!  An all arena ad should be posted
soon. -- Wasby the Great

Baphomet -- Thanks for the council and good advice you have given to me.  I see the
lessons in your wise words.  As for letting it go in one ear and out the other, it
might get hard at times, but I feel you have the right of it.  Thanks for the words
of wisdom. -- Dark Knight Toker

Oz the all seeing -- No vengeance on my part.  Someone seems to have cornered that
market.  I'm here for the enjoyment and the best competition in Alastari.  I'm just
going to sit back and enjoy the witticism and irony of it all. -- A totally ABASHED

Big Nose Kate -- I have avenged the death of my warrior.  There will be no further
bloodfeuds.  It wouldn't be right to keep bloodfeuding a proposed ally. -- Dark
Knight Toker

Nemesis -- The Vincere Aut Mori guildhouse is saddened by your loss of "The Kurgen."
I guess he really did miss Casiea and decided to join her.  She might even give him
some loving in the after-life, instead of the pounding she gave him in life. -- Dark
Knight Toker

Wasby the Great -- Are you ready for Fratsfa's Quest for The Best?  I've received
some emails and diplos from most of the managers that I ran the contest idea by, and
almost all were warm to it.  The generalized comment was, "liked the idea, and would
love to see Fratsfa rejuvenated."  Most gave support and said they would come and
check it out.  I sent in the contest structure, rules and list of prizes this turn.
It should all be printed in this newsletter.  I have already sent a team to get their
overviews before the contest starts.  Looks like it might get crowded over there in
the next few turns. -- Dark Knight Toker

Baphomet -- Another p-ad, to let you know that RSI said another cert is on the way.
Also, I received your letters.  I appreciate the time you took to write them.  I have
just sent my letter to you.  Sorry if it has taken a minute, but I am swamped with
college papers and am preparing for my semester finals right now.  So excuse the time
between my letters.  Once finals are over I'll have more time. -- Dark Knight Toker

All -- If I have offended anyone, I want to be a bigger man and apologize for it now.
I understand wholeheartedly when someone who is known by all and considered friend by
most becomes so enraged by someone who's relatively new, then it must be the rookie's
fault.  I respect the feelings some may hold toward me.  The whole story hasn't been
told; however, all I ask is that the managers of this arena judge me individually and
not let someone else's opinion make yours for you.  That person and I started off
badly, for which I'm truly sorry. -- A truly sorrowful Dark Nightie Stoker

Alliance Mates -- Let's start sharing fight info before the contest begins.  I'm
willing to help or be helped by anyone interested. -- Skullagrim

Goat -- Ready to stomp some A!! -- Skullagrim

Duke C.F.H. -- The future is ours. -- Dark Knight Goat

V@U -- I would like to introduce Lasher.  Please extend to him all courtesies. --
Dark Knight Goat

Hammer -- Congrats on your record.  As usual you never say anything constructive to
the up and coming managers.  Of course it is the other manager's fault when you lose!
As for dogs on a leash, I will only say this once:  no one keeps me on a leash.  I'm
not a dog, but a Goat!  So shut up and stop your crying about arena etiquette.  You
dished it out, so deal with it.  Why do you keep reflecting to the past?  Who cares!
As for disrespecting your name and this mess getting out of control?  I am Goat.  I'm
responsible, and for your recent claim to fame, you have been reborn with the help of
the V@U.  So kick back and enjoy it and leave the rookies alone.  You name the arena
and I will gladly create one of your so called experiment teams and gladly teach you
some respect for your own name.  We are hosting a contest in DM 52.  Come get some!
-- Dark Knight Goat
P.S.  I'll gladly do it here!

Oz the All Best -- Managers should take some lessons from you! -- Dark Knight Goat

BNK -- Let's discuss strategy.  Diplo soon (very busy). -- CFH
P.S.  BTW, I never received yours (diplo).

C.F.H. -- I would like to fight for your alliance Vendett@United for the Turf War.  I
would like to probate under you during the Turf War. -- Lasher

All -- I am Lasher, manager of Team Mayfair.  I am a new manager looking forward to
the competition offered in this arena.

Hammer -- Men often scream loudly when they can do little else.  I've said all that I
need to say.  Wear your best suit; I'll make sure they bury you in it. -- Cowboy From

Baphomet -- A hotty armed with a sword and an attitude has sworn fealty to V@U for
the duration of TWIV.  Please scribe Big Nose Kate into your anal...er, I mean annals
as a V@U eligible manager. -- CFH/Rat Salad

Mr. Coffee -- Read it again. -- CFH

Baphomet -- Received your snail.  Write as I'm able. -- CFH

BNK -- Thanks for your support.  Ale and strippers are on me (literally). -- CFH

Goat -- Not opposed to "you" being desolate empire, just not into it myself.  Will
write a detailed letter (diplo) soon. -- CFH/V@U
P.S.  We thought you were trying to split and/or making demands, with desolate empire
as a separate entity.

Wasby -- Sure, why not.  Everyone else has pretty much had a shot.  So why not him
too? -- CFH
P.S.  Seriously, why not?  (You know what I'm referring to, right?)

Sho-time -- Send me a diplo with your questions. -- CFH

V@U -- I will become active when the TW starts. -- CFH

Oz -- I thank you in advance for any response you may have given me, but I finally
received my two missing turns.  (They were out to Tobago apparently from the
envelope) so I caught up on my reading. -- Blackstorm

Tunners -- You really must learn to move, my friend, else you'll wind up permanently
motionless. -- Orange

Kramer -- Now that was efficient, ow. -- Zombie Knight

Holle' Cherry -- Interesting.  Try to big toothpick maybe? -- Eviscerator

Freeze dried -- We really coulda used some coffee, especially me.  I'm so embarrassed
about my attack. -- Black Thunder

Daster Marque -- I thought you'd be a bit more lively, but thanks for those nice
skills. -- MM

All -- All this excitement over the Turf War is starting to get to me too.  Now, is
there any way I could get my BLACK STORM into the action?  I'm not on bad terms with
any of you as far as I know so I'd be willing to join just about anyone.  As long as
our team morals suit you, as we are VERY honorable and always fight as such. --

Oz -- I thought you had a team over in Arkers?  Or am I mistaken again? -- Blackstorm

Sir Chester -- Don't get too excited.  I'm not competing with you.  I said Pedagogue!
As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis

Baphomet -- I have sent a second request that a cert be sent to you.  Also, my
champion will be Mr. Crowley. -- Abraxis, mgr. Leaders

Snarky -- Toast back at you (also void of cream and sugar).  How about 12 or 13
rounds with me in the TW4? -- Mr. Coffee

Baphomet -- Not more than about 45 minutes of TV for me a week unless they've got
DVDs showing.  What's a Supper Nanny?  Is that like a fat girl waitressing at the
Waffle House? -- Mr. Coffee
P.S.  Anyone that fills cups of coffee has to be cool!

Amalric -- Thanks for our only win. -- Mr. Coffee

Woody -- You're welcome for the skills.  I won't be attending the tourney, but good
luck to you! -- Cafe Au Lait

Ahura Mazda -- How quick we forget last Turf War's alliances.  Good show.

Baphomet -- I accept Heathen and his team Misnomers or whatever he decides to call
it, since it isn't here as of yet. -- Mr. Coffee

All -- This is an "open" acceptance notice.  ANY manager that wishes his/her team to
fight under our Turf War banner need only declare in the next newsletter (224) to be
accepted. -- Mr. Coffee

Heathen -- You're "in."  Can you accept snail mail?  You didn't give me enough info
to diplo you with.  No one specific to target...let your blade fall where it will. --
Mr. Coffee

Snarky/Black Storm/Feathers Flying -- Join us for TW4. -- Mr. Coffee

Ripper Crew/Trebors -- Come on man!  Join up for TW4. -- Mr. Coffee

Leviathan of Lard -- A salute to the DM! -- Mr. Coffee

Oz -- WHAT?!?  SLUGBAIT?!?  Now that is certainly over the Rainbow. -- Mr. Coffee

Oz -- If I had stolen it, I'd be winning. -- Baphomet (not winning)

TDH -- As in Jhans, offenders will be exterminated with extreme prejudice.
Regardless of friendships. -- Baphomet

Az -- Watch out for the Bucket Brigade! -- Baphomet (grinning)

Liam -- Dude...you were supposed to be bringing chainmail and daggers!  Not chips and
dip! -- Baphomet

Buddy Lee -- Oh, I get it...but...there are ladies here already, so I won't need to
bring any of my own! -- Baphomet

Abraxis -- I'm not a Dark Knight either and I don't support the Desolate Empire.
Does this mean you'll be trying to exterminate them too? -- Baphomet

Goat -- Ewww...you're in deep manure! -- Baphomet

Heathen -- I received your diplo.  Have sent one in return.  I think we can start
over from here. -- Baphomet

All -- Those of you that have been around for a few years remember when I started the
game.  I was ostentatious, prolix, vitriolic and vituperative.  I would inveigh,
stultify, lachrymose and obfuscate everyone.  One would need a veritable lexicon to
decipher my tirades.  I now promulgate my captious return.  As my will, so mote it
be! -- Abraxis

Hammer -- Maybe you can hire Talon Dark Heart to clean up the puddles, you vitiate,
glabrous, vacuous laser!  As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis, the erudite one

Hammer -- Accept me as your Pedagogue, so that my mellifluous verbiage might stultify
you!  As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis

Baphomet -- After the untimely death of Culonegro, I will not declare a new champion
at this time.  Maybe by T-225, depending on replacements. -- Wasby
P.S.  Much respect to you.  You've helped me at no gain to yourself.  However, your
alliance mates want it, so I'll try to give it to them.

Oz the all-successful -- My p-ads weren't printed last turn so...thanks for the help
and I promise to take you up on the offer soon.  I appreciate it. -- Wasby

Abraxis -- Loved it!  My turn!  UNITED WE STAND! -- Wasby

Illuminati -- Wow!  You guys are really charitable.  I thought that usually when a
broken, used-up, worn-out, warped hammer was found, it was thrown in the scrap pile.
Guess not.  But...you guys all seem soooo tough, I'm shaking in my boots.  (yawn)
Yes, I am a newbie (months, even) and yes, right now my team is all bad.  Things
change though.  I'm not planning on going anywhere, so I guess what I'm saying is:
Here I am, ready and waiting, standing here smiling.  Line up and come get it. --

Baphomet -- As of now, CFH will not be here for the Turf War.  I declare leadership
of the alliance for myself.  As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis

Baphomet -- I confirm both BNK and Sho-time for V@U.  As my will, so mote it be! --
P.S.  Dok Sik too.

Wasby the Great -- Looks as if a hornet's nest has kicked.  Too bad their stingers
seem to be broken. -- Dark Knight Toker

Wiefgraf -- Welcome to North Fork (SCOMSS Swamp).  Glad to see you could make it. --
Dark Knight Toker

Goat -- When is Lasher going to show?  I know he said he wouldn't miss kicking some
KLK behind for anything in the world!  (evil grin) HA! -- Dark Knight Toker

C.F.H. -- I follow your lead, don't let these lames try and play us against each
other.  If T.D.H. had any reading comprehension, he would have understood Goat's p-
ads in 59! -- Dark Knight Toker (loving the idea of stomping some K-Lown kissers

TDH -- Big, bad puppetmaster.  I can hardly write this due to my trembling hand.
(laughs)  No, really, I'm scared.  So you must be planning on carrying most of your
alliance on your back huh?  I mean, I know Baphomet is good and I hear you're good
also, but as for the rest of your KLK god of blah blahs I have two words:  Lame
Horses.  Yeah you got those wins off, but how 'bout your boys?  They all seem to be
having trouble beating me, a raw rookie.  Ask Azrael; he challenged me last turn, but
it didn't turn out well for him.  (smile)  Anyway, I'm glad you kicked this thing
off, cuz this is what I think is the best part of the game.  So fire off, I'll shoot
back every time.  I could act like your newest Lame Horse Hummer and claim to not
care what my W/L is as a disclaimer for getting beat down, but I do care.  Therefore,
no vows to get even.  I'll just challenge your alliance and raise my record at KLK
fizzle expense. -- Wasby (beating his chest while screaming UNITED!)

Wiefgraf -- Welcome, bro.  Good to finally have you here.  Be prepared though,
instant perps are everywhere.  Heavens to Meratroy, they're in the perimeter even.
Stop by the UNITED Guildhouse.  We'll break out the four footer and see who the real
trash bag lung is.  (smile) -- Wasby

Toker -- I know you as a man who is intelligent, and who has shown integrity,
generosity and honesty to me.  Although you stubbornness has led to many heated phone
calls (grin) I have always enjoyed to hear your stories about your "Saint of a
Mother".  So, believe that I too, have felt your grief.  The loss of one's mother,
I'm glad to say, can only be experienced once in a person's lifetime.  All of your
mother's teachings and good deeds will always live on forever throughout your life.
I offer my congratulations to your mother for raising such a fine family.  Your deed
and actions only bring honor to your mother.  Aesir and Vanir guide this spirit. --
your friend and brother in arms, Goat

Hammer -- Sounds pretty dangerous where you are at.  All crap aside, I only hope that
you stay safe and continue to be able to do what you enjoy.  Remember to always
protect yourself and above all, don't lose faith in your beliefs. -- Dark Knight Goat

V@U -- Please give "Death Corp" who is managed by "Wiefgraph" a "United" welcome.  He
will help us obtain the Turf War recognition that we wish to achieve. -- Dark Knight

V@U -- "Mayfair", who is managed by "Lasher" does V@U proud with a 3-2 on their first
turn.  Extend to them all courtesies V@U has to offer. -- Dark Knight Goat

Baphomet -- Did you receive my letter?  Cert?  Have a team going to DM 25 not 36 as I
said last diplo.  Ooo fried lizard on a stick, must go get some. -- Liam the Goth

Asmo -- That was the smallest diplo I have ever seen.  Good to hear from you.  Will
send more questions to you just to make you write, HA! -- Liam the Goth

Buddy Lee -- Duelmaster Hell Storm, nice one. -- Liam the Goth

Hammer -- Hum...I kinda forgot to bring my scimitar with me.  Next time you're in
Morya could you be kind and stop by my guildhouse and pick it up for me.  Paper
Flowers is there and will give it to you.  Thanks. -- Liam the Goth

Lasher -- You are a quick study.  Welcome to North Fork's Turf War.  You're just in
time to make the KLK cry all the harder.  I will fight with you in any arena.  C.F.H.
is the Capt of our alliance (V@U) here in North Fork.  We can always use an
intelligent manager who uses the information that was provided and crank out a good
turn.  Congrats on your success. -- Dark Knight Goat

C.F.H. -- Here are two more disciples for you.  "Lasher" and "Wiefgraph" will be up
to the level of competition that you require, with a little more training from your
end, Captain.  Let us know if will you declare Dok Sik, Lasher, Wiefgraph for the
Turf War.  If not, let me know by snail mail as soon as you can. -- Dark Knight Goat

BNK -- Welcome to the Turf War.  I think you would be a welcomed addition to our
alliance.  I would gladly have you join us for the good fight.  As Abraxis stated,
that is up to CFH. -- Dark Knight Goat

V@U -- Lock and swing. -- Dark Knight Goat

Heathen -- Come join us in Illis.  We will also be fighting in Fratsfa, soon, to
establish another guildhouse for The Desolate Empire.  This is not an alliance
competition, so maybe "Baphomet" might bring his fluffers so you can run some steel
in their gullets. -- Goat

Abraxis -- My mistake on the challenge.  I did not check the team name of "Some Yung
Man."  I thought he was on the same teams as "Tso Tsung Tang."  A difference of
gaming style preference is NOT a loyalty issue, or meant to put a strain on any of
our friendships.  We already know how you and our Capt. over here feel about our
style in the Delarq region.  We are here for the long run with V@U, but we are going
to light up the dim wits of the klk...klk!  Doesn't it sound like high heels on stone
steps. -- Dark Knight Goat
P.S.  Really enjoyed "coulrophobia".

T.D.H. -- Are you and hummer related?  The members of your klk part of the illuminati
are nothing but a bunch of eunuch rejects and easy marks for our disciples.  Your
counter proposal means nothing to me.  If you didn't have your heads in unlikely
places so much (PEW), you all would have realized that the game is set up so you can
come get some, any time, (Goat Sac) any place that you want.  I invited you to
Fratsfa so you can't hide behind your alliance mates.  Which would be hard to do when
you have lames like punkdiddyklk the lame and hummer the knee pad wearer on your
enrollment lists, just to name a couple worthless wretches.  So, if you would like a
little one on one with the Goat, bring it to all your fluffers attention that I have
enough stamina for all of you, be it in Talcama, North Fork (SCOMSS SWAMP), or
Fratsfa in our upcoming contest.  Good luck in this contest 'cause you're going to
need it!!! -- Dark Knight Goat

Sho-time -- Welcome!  A new manager to another, get all the help you can if you plan
to win.  A lot of managers are friendly enough to help. -- Buddy Lee (Illuminati)

Liam -- Closed up shop for tourney (everywhere).  Went broke so I'll be running only
here. -- Buddy Lee

Baphomet -- Don't go chasing dragons just yet.  The fun is just about ready to start.
I only got the Dip finally.  Thanks. -- Buddy Lee

TDH -- You just keep getting those guys here.  It's time to dethrone SCOMSS. -- Buddy

All -- Our champion will be none other than the mighty "Arauthator" (4660).  Come get
some! -- Sir Chester -- Draconic Realm (519)

All -- There's but a short time before TW4 gets underway.  Good luck to all of you.
You'll need it!  Smile. LOL. -- Sir Chester

Mr. Coffee -- I'm looking forward to smashing your roasted coffee beans or sugar
cubes, whichever you have on the sands.  Braaaa haaa haaa! -- Valamaradace

28 March 2005
Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order
to continue playing?  Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with
case law or legal advice?  The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from
us once (though I recently had that decision overturned).  I believe it's only a
matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need
be.  I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated!  I
can be contacted at:
     Danny Warren
     P.O. Box 250
     Draper, UT  84070
     Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47

28 March 2005
Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest
contest ever to grace the arena sands!  Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got
it going on!  What is this contest?  It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!!
This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up
some of the slack.  Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?).  It's an
"alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time.
Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. --
Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances

28 March 2005
Contest Announcement
It's finally here!  ScumFest 2005!  The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are
formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest
scum in all of Alastari!

Who:  All Scum in Alastari

What:  Scum Fest 2005!
Where:  Talahya
When:  May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499

The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at
the end of the 10th round.

Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order):
- Head to Head Record
- Win/Loss Percentage
- Average Fight Length
(We'll go into overtime if they're still tied)

There are no other rules.  A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to
accomplish his goal.  Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc.
Anything goes!

To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter,
declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com

Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants.  You may enter the
competition up until Turn 494.

Prizes will be announced after the competition begins.  The point of the contest is
to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize.

Good luck and Happy Scumming!

-- Manager

6 April 2005
                                SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE

     I would like to make a formal announcement to all the managers of Alastari that
the inaugural/memorial challenge put forth by Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest (Richard
Hammes) has been approved by the commission.  The contest will be held in TROCAR,
arena 54, beginning on the turn that starts around June 2nd.  Keep in mind that this
is a slow arena.  Before I go on, I would like to personally thank the commission for
procuring an outstanding top prize for this contest.  This announcement follows my
last and entry into the contest will be a minimum $5 donation, which I will pool and
give to a charity in the San Diego area in Richard Hammes' name and memory.  My
address is at the end.  Once the donation is made, I intend to notify RSI of the
charity and amount we donated as a matter of pride for them and us in this game!  I
will notify everyone in an all arena ad as well.
     The contest is pretty simple.  Any team may enter, there are no restrictions on
fight experience!  There are no challenges, avoids, bloodfeuds, or tourneys allowed
and only one single use of the Dark Arena is allowed after the contest begins.  To
help eliminate any interference, I am going to allow avoids of non-contest teams in
case they are there to manipulate and affect the winner of the contest.  Scoring is
as follows:

1 point for winning
1 point for killing (giving 2 in total, 1 for the win and 1 for the kill)
1 point for at least one of your warriors writing a personal (regardless of number of
     personals beyond one you still only get one point).  Make sure it is written
     from one of your team's warriors and not simply the manager entity or you will
     not get the point.
-1 point for losing
-1 point for being killed (giving -2 in total, -1 for losing and -1 for being killed)

     The contest will last for 12 turns, again beginning roughly June 2nd.  May I
point out that if you use your Dark Arena fight you will get either 2 points, for
winning, or -2, for losing, and ALL fights count in the scoring.  It matters not if
you fight a non-contest warrior or a stand-in; they still count as much as fighting a
contest warrior.  This will be a test of basic strategy with a touch of luck added in
as well.
     If anyone should break the no tourney rule they will lose 5 points for each
warrior entered and those warriors, and any subsequent warriors who replace them in
death, cannot score points!  Break the no DA, challenge, or avoid rules (except
avoids of non-contest teams) and you will be DQ'd as soon as the transgression is
discovered.  To keep the contest playing field as level as possible, we will have no
messing with these rules.  Of course you may DA the one time, just as a
clarification, but the second time gets you DQ'd.  This also counts if it is found
you bring a second team in for the purpose of making challenges.  You can bring a
second team, just don't think they can challenge to give you an advantage.  This
means DQ to your contest team.  A second team may also enter the contest with its own
donation of $5 and adherence to the rules.  Well, enough of that, I'm sure you'd like
to see the prizes so here they are:

1st place - +1 bonus to one warrior on the team, 1 resurrection potion, and 1
     favorite knowledge
2nd place - +1 bonus for one warrior, 1 favorites knowledge
3rd place- +1 bonus for one warrior
Iron Manager - Run 54 of the possible 60 fights and get a +1 bonus potion

     The resurrection potion may be used on any FE warrior, however the favorites and
+1 bonus potions must be used on a warrior with at least 5 FE.  These prizes also
must be used within 2 turns of the ending of the contest.  Even those rookie level
teams can figure out a way to use that resurrection potion if you think night fight
;), after the contest of course, so don't think this is only good for experienced
teams!  Check your rosters and unused RU's and see if you can't find a reason to come
and test your mettle!
     Again, entry fee is a minimum $5 donation, money order preferred method but if
that doesn't work for you we can figure alternate means.  If a hopeful entrant
happens to be incarcerated and the only real means of making the donation is an
account transfer, please make sure you let me know where the transfer came from and
which team it is for.  I prefer that this only be used as donation method by
incarcerated players unless otherwise discussed with me.  Please drop me an email, or
diplo my team in Tobir(14), letting me know you are sending a donation for entry and
the amount so I can be on the lookout for it in the mail.  Thanks to all who have
sent their sympathies regarding our game's loss of a kind and admirable soul and my
best wishes to all!

Street Legal
Jeff Bura
193 Pepperidge Dr.
Wixom, MI 48393
THE DEATH SQUAD (63) in Tobir, arena 14

12 April 2005
                               A Question of Contests
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     The familiar figure of a veteran manager clad in an Elven War Cloak at a lone
outpost somewhere near the cross roads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen sorted through his
vast disarray of DM papers and notes.
     Hammer pondered upon the recent dispatches that he had received regarding the
upcoming contests that he had been invited to participate in; after all, most contest
managers enjoyed having a HAMMERZ stable on the sands, due to the fact that they were
usually comprised of dues paying gladiators who were just a cut above the average RSI
Stand Ins.
     The Scum Fest in ADM sponsored by the veteran manager named Manager looked like
an entertaining offer, but alas, Hammer had NO candidates worthy enough to warrant
spending the cycle fees for their fleeting participation in such a contest.
     Perhaps sometime in the future, when Hammer succeeded in graduating some Aimers
and a promising candidate from one of his slow arena stables, would be the proper
     TW4 in DM 47 was already on Hammer's list of contests to participate in,
especially with the convening of the Clown Circus in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena,
along with all the other zany personalities and alliances that promised to make this
the greatest ever Turf War contest that Alastari had ever witnessed upon the bloody
arena sands!
     Those same Clowns had sent Hammer an invitation to participate in a contest that
their Dark Knighties were sponsoring in an Andorian slow arena, but Hammer also had
an invitation to send a stable to DM 54 for a contest being held in the memory of
Slaughter Priest, one of Hammer's former alliance mates who had met with an untimely
and violently unexpected death while doing a good deed for a friend off world in San
     Also added into the mix was an intriguing contest being sponsored by Zalgor
Prigg that was to be staged in a few months in the currently closed DM 13 Dullens
Regular Arena.
     Zalgor had contacted Hammer earlier in the year to inform the veteran manager
that his newest contest would feature a first round Dark Arena Challenge to level the
playing field.  Also, each gladiator would have a hyphenated Style listing after
their name for the Style Masters competition.
     An All Arena Ad Announcement was expected to be filed by Zalgor sometime before
the Summer 2005 Tourney, thus allowing the DM 13 Dark Arena Replacement Warriors from
the Dullens Contest to enter the Rookie Fall Mailer Tourney to prep for the contest.
     Hammer had been considering sponsoring such a Dark Arena First Round Type
Contest, but it would be much better to just enter the Zalgor sponsored contest,
rather than to be subjected to all the current Contest Host Harassment that was
plaguing the many contest arenas throughout Alastari.
     A grim smile crossed the lips of Hammer as he thought about the possibility of
the Clowns getting a taste of their own medicine while sponsoring their Andorian
     Hammer quickly took a pen and paper, writing instructions to his gladiator
trainer GrimmDorr at his Hammerz Flower Garden Morya Manor Estate on the Lake on the
outskirts of the DM 28 Morya Arena, to assemble a Cast of Cast Offs to enter the
upcoming contest being sponsored by Zalgor Prigg.
     Hammer jotted down a note to file the following stable with the Gladiatorial
Commission once Zalgor Prigg had announced the contest in Dullens DM 13 Arena:
Zalgor Prigg sponsored contest in Dullens DM 13 whenever the Gladiatorial Commission
was ready.
     Hammer then turned his attention to the two slow arena contest invitations that
tugged at his emotions for full participation.
     However, there was only room for one more stable addition in the current plans
of the veteran manager, who had deactivated his SNOW CALL HAMMERZ in DM 50 to devote
his attention to entering a new stable in a promising slow arena contest.
     Street Legal had recently cleared the air with the Gladiatorial Commission in
regards to sponsoring SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE in DM 54, which would begin in Trocar
around the first week of June.
     As yet, there seemed to be NO OFFICIAL ALL ARENA ANNOUNCEMENT from the Clowns
regarding their contest in an Andorian slow arena.
     These Clowns had a lot to learn about sponsoring and advertising contests!
     Hammer thought back to two years ago when Maximillian had convinced the veteran
manager to Co-Sponsor Maximillian's Morya Madness in the DM 28 slow arena.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades in the
Madness by entering a stable named LEE FAMILY.
     LEE FAMILY had NOT missed a single fight during the Madness until Slaughter
Priest's life was snuffed out one dark night in San Diego while helping a friend.
     When the Delarq Death Fest was sponsored by Hammer in the DM 59 Illis slow
arena, Slaughter Priest had answered the call to cross blades by sending a stable
named FASCIST DROOL to compete for the Ten Death Fest Prize Categories.
     Abarsis the Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes had been a true DM friend and
a fine competitor among many, not to mention a close comrade in arms while Hammer had
been a member of the Vendetta Cartel.
     As was written by Street Legal a.k.a. Jeff Bura in a recent All Arena Ad Eulogy
to the Memory of Slaughter Priest a.k.a. Richard Hammes:
     "On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
     Now the DM Community who either knew Rich personally from the RT and VC Emails,
or from crossing blades on the sands with this avid DM competitor; now have the
opportunity to Honor His Memory by competing in a DM 54 contest held in his Honor.
     Could Hammer do no less?
     This was an opportunity to set aside personal goals and allocate the necessary
funds to enter a stable in SLAUGHTER'S CHALLENGE to Honor the Memory of Rich Hammes!
     Hammer quickly filled out an entry form to dispatch to the Gladiatorial
Commission to register the following stable in DM 54 Trocar for SLAUGHTER'S
     Be it known that MEMORIAL HAMMERZ are hereby registering SLAUGHTER HAMMER, FASC
Trocar for the Street Legal sponsored contest in Honor of Richard Hammes a.k.a.
Abarsis the Slaughter Priest.
     GRUNGE GIRL was one of Slaughter Priest's warriors from his FASCIST DROOL.
stable that was entered in the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59 Illis Arena, so it was only
fitting to name one of the MEMORIAL HAMMERZ gladiators after one of Rich's warriors
that had competed in a Hammer Sponsored Contest.
     Hammer leaned back in his chair and reflected upon the memories of his fallen
comrade from his days in the Vendetta Cartel. Tears moistened the veteran manager's
eyes upon every remembrance of his fallen VC comrade in arms.
     Hopefully the odd assortment of veteran and newbie managers would answer the
call to cross blades in Honor of the fallen Slaughter Priest in the type of contest
that Rich had envisioned to one day Sponsor and Participate with some of Alastari's
Finest Managers!
     This One's for YOU Rich/Slaughter Priest; May You Rest in Peace!

Minister of War
kLk Knight
Illuminati Ice Pick

12 April 2005
                           FRATSFA'S QUEST FOR THE BEST!!!

     Rollup certs aplenty!  Need to know favorites for warriors initiate or above?
SURE!  Renaming of both the arena and the D.A. Monsters?  Why not!  Skill bonus
potions?  Of course!  This and more is all possible for the top 10 (ten) teams in:
Fratsfa's Quest for the Best!
     What does it cost you ask?  NOTHING!  Who is running the contest and putting up
the total of 30 rollup certs as prizes to be split up amongst the top 6 (six) teams?
Dark Knight Wasby, Dark Knight Goat and Dark Knight Toker of the Desolate Empire of
vendett@UNITED!  The gaming commission is also going to supply prizes for the top 10
(ten) teams.  Where?  FRATSFA DM-52!  When?  The month of July, T-207.
     Rules!  We, of the Desolate Empire, do not like the word Rules!  So, we use the
term requirements.  Here they are:

1.  One team per manager entered in the contest.
2.  Only (1) Total Parry on your team at a time.
3.  You must declare (1) warrior as your team's scout.
4.  Managers that have teams established in Fratsfa must have 3 (three) warriors in
    the initiates class by the contest's 3rd turn.  (If they wish to compete, or can
    send in new team!)
5.  If you bloodfeud, you must use a different warrior each time to score the
    bloodfeud points.
6.  You must declare your team in the p-ads to be entered.
7.  A declared champion and scout cannot be the same warrior.
8.  Champions are not required (manager's choice)!  Champions must be declared on the
    first fight.

     We are also offering 25 bonus points to managers that submit a brief history (5
paragraph minimum) including your manager and team name by the contest's 3rd turn.
These points will be added to the scores on turn 211.
     Now, on to the scoring:  Wins + Kills - Losses = base score
                                     Base score + Variants = Total Score

WIN = +1 point
KILL = +1 point
LOSS = -1 point

SCOUT WIN = +2 points
SCOUT LOSS = -2 points
SCOUT DEATH = -5 points
CHAMPION WIN = +3 points
CHAMPION LOSS = -3 points

     Let's say (a) team goes 3-2-2 = 3 wins + 2 kills - 2 losses = +3 base score.
His champion won (+3 pts) and is style master for this turn (+1 pt).  His scout lost
(-2), for a total turn score of +5 points.
     Now, let's say (b) team goes 1-4-1 = 1 win + 1 kill - 4 losses = -2 pts.  His
fighting marvel of a scout won (+2 pts) and the scout's win was a successful
bloodfeud (+2 pts).  So, the total points for the turn would be +2 points.  (There
was no champion on this team.)

Now on to the prizes:

     1)  12 (Twelve) rollup gift certificates transferred to "Fratsfa's Best"
         ultimate victor.
     2)  Renaming of Fratsfa's arena for 6 (six) months.
     3)  Renaming of D.A. monsters: Wurmkin', Bandit Prince and Black Orc.
     4)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     5)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  8 (eight) rollup gift certificates transferred to 2nd place manager.
     2)  Rename the D.A. monsters:  Dark Champion and High Elf.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus potion.*
     1)  4 (four) rollup gift certificates transferred to 3rd place manager.
     2)  Renaming of D.A. monsters Mountain Troll and Shewish Giant.
     3)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     4)  1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion.**
     1)  3 (three) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. Monster Stone Golem
     1)  2 (two) rollup gift certificates
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     3)  Rename D.A. monster Spy Master
     1)  1 (one) rollup gift certificate
     2)  1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     1) 1 (one) favorites potion.*
     All teams that fight at least 67 of the possible 75 fights will get 1 (one) FREE
tournament entry for a warrior of that team in the first tournament after the
completion of "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best"!

-- NOTE --
* -- All potions must be used within 2 (two) turns of the contest and on initiate
(tournament class) or higher character on the same team that competed in Fratsfa,
*  1 (one) favorites potion gives all faves:  Rhythm, Tactic and Weapon.
** 1 (one) +1 bonus skill potion gives +1 to 1 (one) skill.

    Our thanks go to RSI for their cooperation with us on the prizes they have
sponsored to make this contest of ours a reality.
     Any questions can be addressed to Toker, mgr. Vincere Aut Mori in DM 18 or by
email:  darkknighttoker@yahoo.com!  OR to Goat, mgr. Desolate Ones DM 47 or to Wasby,
mgr. Soul Forge in DM 47.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SHADOW RAINS was viciously butchered by MR. COFFEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ZORE was murdered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
ZORE 2 was murdered by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BAFFLEMENT was dispatched by THE BARTENDER in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
GRENDEL was devastated by SWAMP TRAP HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
WOODY killed MSK in a 2 minute Bloodfeud competition.
PAULA BONES was butchered by JABBERWOCK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MARAJUANA MAN devastated WYRD in a 1 minute bloody mismatched Challenge match.
KRAMER overpowered STING in a 2 minute uneven Challenge melee.
SARA F. won victory over DASTER MARQUE in a action packed 1 minute Challenge duel.
SIR GALAHAD defeated GANGSTA CREEP in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel.
FIGHTING TREE assassinated GALDR in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge fight.
SWEET N LOW was luckily beaten by CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
ANTON LEVAY subdued NIGHT TERROR in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge competition.
SWAMP LILY HAMMER demolished PICUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
DEAD ANGLE was overpowered by JACK MCFARLAND in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
HANTA was defeated by MELON MUSH in a 5 minute Challenge duel.
LIL BIT slew IMMAZAEL in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
DROPSHOT vanquished DIPTHERIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
SWAMP ROSE HAMMER was bested by GENESIS in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
VASH THE STAMPEDE devastated JACK & JILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CRYPT ANGEL murdered BRASSBACK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ZOMBIE ASSASSIN executed ZYKLON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MIDGUARD was viciously subdued by WHITE SETTLER in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
HITLER YOUTH overpowered GAFF in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
ROBUST BREW was devastated by DYERS EVE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SON YUNG MOON overpowered ERON RIPPER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
EBOLA (Z) was overpowered by DARK WARLOCK in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
ANTHRAX overpowered AMALRIC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
HOLLE' CHERRY outlasted CHARLES MANSON in a 12 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
LEVIATHAN OF LARD overcame SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute Title bout.
ART PENDRAGON was viciously subdued by ACE METRIC in a 2 minute veteran's duel.
OSLOBEN BENBOBEN vanquished VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 2 minute one-sided fray.
AHURA MAZDA was overpowered by B.B. CROSS in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
AMELA BUNDERSON overpowered LEET STREEGLE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MINOR BLUE viciously subdued ZOMBIE KNIGHT in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN overpowered CYANIDE in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
HUMBUG demolished LITTLE BIG MAN in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
FREEZE DRIED overcame KAT in a 3 minute fight.
CRISTER MOFFEE demolished CAFE AU LAIT in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BENDER subdued BLACK THUNDER in a 5 minute duel.
STEAL SHANK executed TITANIA in a 1 minute gory uneven bout.
DON KING was overcome by INCUBUS in a 1 minute match.
APPIUS viciously subdued SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a 2 minute brutal duel.
ONE defeated TRESSA in a action packed 1 minute battle.
BLOOD RAYNE won victory over SWAMP CLAW HAMMER in a 1 minute struggle.
CAPPUCCINO was luckily beaten by DRAMA QUEEN in a action packed 5 minute conflict.
WILSON defeated ETIENNE DUPLAIX in a 1 minute brawl.
EVICSERATOR was outlasted by WAR CRY HAMM in a dull 16 minute competition.
DAVID KARESH overcame TARZAN in a 1 minute novice's match.
DAY DREAM was defeated by ICHORID in a 1 minute gruesome novice's battle.
BROCK SAMPSON was overpowered by DAINTY CHINA in a 1 minute uneven bout.
AXELROD GUNNER was defeated by ICKY ICED FLEA in a 1 minute beginner's competition.
BLACK BALL was subdued by ARCHANGEL in a exciting 2 minute amateur's match.
DEMONIC HEX was demolished by PRINCE DARIUS in a 5 minute one-sided battle.
BLACKENED savagely defeated BROCK SAMPSON in a 2 minute amateur's conflict.
SHORTEST STRAW was bested by LOW FAT LOON in a 1 minute novice's battle.
JUSTICE FOR ALL bested FRYLOCKE in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
SHADE'S FORM savagely defeated SEALAB DEBBIE in a 2 minute bloody amateur's battle.
CARRION WURM was outlasted by TARGET in a crowd pleasing 7 minute beginner's bout.
CUP OF TOE defeated MUSTAFA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
LOWELL handily defeated BULLSEYE in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided contest.
MR. CROWLEY vanquished MAXIMUS in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ETHER savagely defeated RICHARD CRANIUM in a 4 minute novice's conflict.
HUGH G. GO overpowered ABDULLAH in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MISS DE MEANOR lost to ASSAD in a 4 minute novice's duel.
SIR PRIZE overpowered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 27         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -   9 -  0      67  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  19         WALL OF STEEL     53 -  38 -  2      58  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  18         AIMED BLOW        50 -  44 -  1      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     17         TOTAL PARRY       88 -  84 -  2      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 14         SLASHING ATTACK   72 -  72 -  7      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         STRIKING ATTACK  109 - 117 - 11      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                      10         LUNGING ATTACK    73 -  85 -  7      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  25 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         BASHING ATTACK    56 - 100 -  4      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -  27 -  1      36  |

Turn 223 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      8 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        6 - 11         4  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    12 -  7     BASHING ATTACK     5 - 13         2  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    8 -  6     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  4         1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK   15 - 12                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         5 -  5                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    OSLOBEN BENBOBEN 4561      15  13  1  104 SKELETON KEY (493)
STRIKING ATTACK  MARAJUANA MAN 3411         11   4  2  103 BLACK STORM (171)
SLASHING ATTACK  ACE METRIC 3554             7   4  0   97 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
BASHING ATTACK   FIGHTING TREE 5235          9   6  1   82 LAND OF OZ (217)
AIMED BLOW       KRAMER 5191                 8   5  0   72 SECOND BANANAS (573)
TOTAL PARRY      STING 2724                 13  10  0   63 NEMESIS (32)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CHARLES MANSON 5428.  The ten other most popular fighters were WHITE SETTLER 

The least popular fighter this week was WAR CRY HAMM 5436.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were EVICSERATOR 5358, HOLLE' CHERRY 5437, TARGET 5573, MISS DE 
CRANIUM 5577, and MAXIMUS 5583.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:



Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis!  
Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005.  It will be 
at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  The rooms 
are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! 
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  See you there!

Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe!
Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 
1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's 
reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your 
reservation soon before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and
several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all 
looking forward to it and that we will see you there!