Date   : 06/14/2005    Duedate: 07/11/2005


DM-47    TURN-225

This Weeks Top Honors


LAND OF OZ (217)
(47-5127) [18-2-0,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HOURGLASS                      LADY ARCANE
LAND OF OZ (217)               THE RIPPER CREW (489)
(47-5127) [18-2-0,123]         (47-4381) [6-2-1,58]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

AHURA MAZDA                    HALLE BEARY
KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)          THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
(47-5152) [7-10-1,48]          (47-5312) [3-9-0,24]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SECOND BANANAS (573)        50
2. PALINDROMES (599)           46      MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
3. BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)      41      Unchartered Team
4. GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)       39
5. MAYFAIR (607)               38      LOST SOULS (618)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*LOST SOULS (618)          10   4  2 71.4   1/ 1 SECOND BANANAS (573)     15  0 4
 2/ 4*MAYFAIR (607)              7   3  0 70.0   2/ 0*LOST SOULS (618)         10  4 2
 3/ 0*THE OPERA (613)            8   4  2 66.7   3/ 2 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 10  5 0
 4/ 0*AGE OF EMPIRES (617)       9   5  0 64.3   4/ 6 SKELETON KEY (493)       10  5 0
 5/ 2 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   264 159 21 62.4   5/ 4*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)  10  5 0
 6/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217)         439 288 14 60.4   6/ 0*AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      9  5 0
 7/ 7*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   18  12  3 60.0   7/10*LEADERS (593)             9  6 0
 8/ 1*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)      9   6  0 60.0   8/ 8*SALEM'S LOT (605)         8  3 2
 9/ 0*BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)     3   2  0 60.0   9/ 0*THE OPERA (613)           8  4 2
10- 5*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)    3   2  0 60.0  10/ 3 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    7  5 0
11/ 0 OLD HABITS (566)          27  19  1 58.7  11/11*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     7  6 0
12/ 6 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  33  24  4 57.9  12/ 9*FALLEN (590)              7  8 2
13/10 SECOND BANANAS (573)      48  35  6 57.8  13/14*SOULFORGE (587)           7  8 0
14/13*SALEM'S LOT (605)          9   7  2 56.3  14/19 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          6  3 1
15/11*LEADERS (593)             14  11  1 56.0  15/20 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      6  4 0
16/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         586 462 31 55.9  16/ 5*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     6  4 0
17- 9 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     31  25  5 55.4  17/ 7 LAND OF OZ (217)          6  5 1
18/14 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      96  82  5 53.9  18/26 DARK PINNACLE (598)       6  6 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/12 COFFEE RULES! (505)      131 113  5 53.7  19/17 COFFEE RULES! (505)       6  9 0
20/15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     311 278 30 52.8  20/24 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      5  3 0
21/17 SKELETON KEY (493)        88  83  3 51.5  21/12 BLACK STORM (171)         5  9 1
22/ 0 DARQUE FORCES (396)       86  82  5 51.2  22/16*ADULT SWIM (589)          5 10 1
23/16 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   36  36  2 50.0  23/18*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      5 10 0
24/21*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     19  19  1 50.0  24/28*MAYFAIR (607)             4  1 0
25/18 FREEDONIA (32)           141 143 15 49.6  25/25*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     4  4 1
26/20 BLACK STORM (171)         73  75  9 49.3  26/30*BLEAK LEGION (601)        4  6 1
27/19*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      14  15  2 48.3  27-13 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     4  6 0
28/30*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     13  14  1 48.1  28/15*MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    4 10 0
29/ 0 INDIFFERENCE (611)        68  83  4 45.0  29/22 FREEDONIA (32)            4 11 2
30-24 DESOLATE ONES (524)       69  85 12 44.8  30/ 0*BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)    3  2 0
31/22*MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    17  21  0 44.7  31-29*CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)   3  2 0
32/26 DARK PINNACLE (598)       20  26  3 43.5  32/27 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   3  9 0
33/25*FALLEN (590)              10  13  2 43.5  33/23 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     3 12 0
34/23*CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      12  16  2 42.9  34/31*MISNOMERS (608)           3 12 0
35-29 TREBORS (232)             80 114  8 41.2  35/ 0 DARQUE FORCES (396)       2  1 0
36/ 0*PALINDROMES (599)          2   3  1 40.0  36/ 0 OLD HABITS (566)          2  1 0
37/28*DRACONIC REALM (519)      12  19  0 38.7  37/ 0*PALINDROMES (599)         2  3 1
38/31*ADULT SWIM (589)          13  22  1 37.1  38/ 0 INDIFFERENCE (611)        2  3 0
39/32 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     32  56  2 36.4  39/33*DRACONIC REALM (519)      2  6 0
40/33*SOULFORGE (587)           14  25  2 35.9  40/32*THE DREAMING (591)        2  8 0
41/34*BLEAK LEGION (601)         5   9  1 35.7  41/ 0*CODE RED (547)            1  4 0
42/36*THE DREAMING (591)         6  19  1 24.0  42-21 DESOLATE ONES (524)       1  4 0
43/35*MISNOMERS (608)            3  12  0 20.0  43/34*CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      1  6 0
44/ 0*CODE RED (547)             1   4  0 20.0  44-35 TREBORS (232)             0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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As the tall, lovely woman walked down the hall, the other occupants of the newly
erected guildhouse of the Fallen quickly sidestepped to get out of her way.  The look
on her face said that she was in an ill temper and she was not one that you wanted
taking out her wrath on you.
     She thought about the event that had gotten her sent here to the SCOMMS Swamp
arena and reactivated to arena combat.  All she had frothing done was ask why her
Lord Azrael, excuse her, Azraelus Prime, she thought with sarcasm, was planning some
of the covert operations he was without consulting any of his alliance mates.  He had
gone of in such a rage.
     And now here she was Second in Command, SECOND!, to that little frothing Lil
Bit.  She had been the head of the Crimson Guard of the Fallen two days ago.  She
could have ordered executions and Azrael would not have said a word.  What had
happened to her Liege?  His behavior was so erratic as of late that it seemed he was
a different man altogether.  And he was always complaining about headaches now.  This
wasn't over, she vowed to herself.  She would discover what had happened to her Lord
or her name wasn't Jealousy Rains.

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                                 The Story of Lethal

     Lethal considered herself a lone warrior, beating on anyone that even looked at
her wrong.
     Unfortunately she bashed a court official and was brought in front of Judge.
     "So, what do you have to say for yourself?" asked Judge.
     "I myself will crush anyone who gets in my way."
     Judge smiled, "I might have a sentence that will suit you just fine."
     "What?  Giving me more skulls to bash?" Lethal asked raising an eyebrow.
     "Sort of; I am sentencing you to Code Red."
     Lethal giggled, "Is that supposed to mean something?"
     "Yes, a team that bashes whoever they want and nothing gets said about it."
     Lethal played with the fringes of her red gown.  "So I can bash people without
     Judge nodded and Lethal smiled.

     "So now you have your fifth member," Judge said walking into his chamber.
     "So be it, but I hope...."
     Judge handed Suicide a file.  "Check that before you give notice."
     Suicide flipped through some of the pages.  "Looks like I found my fifth

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     As he opened their second bottle of absinthe, Abraxis looked over at his
companion Baphomet.  The normally stoic Druid had a pained expression on his face
that Baphomet could not miss.
     "A shekel for your thoughts, Abraxis," queried the mage.
     Abraxis began a lengthy diatribe about the history of CFH, himself and Baphomet,
including issues concerning the Ultraist and the VC and even the awkward situation he
was in now.  His oration went something like this:
     "Well, old friend, I remember when you first came into the game.  CFH and I were
firmly entrenched in the Vendetta Cartel and were inseparable companions.  You and I
became instant rivals, and that was fed by CFH.  Now he is gone and our rivalry has
become a mutual respect, even a friendship."
     "Buffy, my chum," said an obviously drunk Abraxis, "back then, between the two
of us, we annoyed everyone in the game.  I made Ultraist so mad, he blew his top, and
it seems I remember a contest where bonus points were given for killing your
warriors.  Those were the days.  Now Ultraist is here and I guess it's time to rock
again.  I've fought him under aliases and he holds an 8-5 record over me.  I don't
want him screwing up my contest."
     "That damned Cartel," said Abraxis around the neck of the bottle.  "First they
grow, then they get rid of CFH and me because we live in a different environ.  I hate
those guys and now Goat wants to make peace with them.  I won't do it, and your buddy
Hammer was part of it; that's why I despise Hammy!"
     Abraxis smashed the now empty bottle against the wall and Baphomet stopped him
from grabbing another.  As Abraxis started to pass out, Baphomet thought he heard him
mumble.  "Why can't my boys get along with your boys?  It makes it hard to be

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                              Musings of a Philosopher
                                 namdaM a fo sgnivaR

     I came to this arena a few turns ago and found it (once again) getting ready for
a Turf War.  This in and of itself is not great cause for alarm (unless you happen to
be caught in the middle) for it is a contest like any other.  It is the war of words
between certain managers within the Turf War that should be watched.
     Some are using the tactics of threats, insults, and the occasional blown up
guildhouse.  Fairly standard stuff really; nothing we all haven't used a time or two
ourselves.  (Somehow I always manage to blow up my own guildhouse, but that is
neither here nor there.)
     Others involved of this war of words are behaving like juveniles.  They use the
tactics of insults, but most are of a sexual nature, either blatantly so or through
thinly veiled innuendoes.  Then they went so far as to have another manager wet
himself in one of their stories.  (We won't mention the recurring urine jokes.)
     I understand that the personals are a forum for (relatively) free speech, but we
are all adults here and should conduct ourselves with some tact.  I don't care who
started it, but it should never have degenerated to this point.  Some of those should
be ashamed of themselves (as if they had any shame).  You all know that I will suffer
retaliation for this; well so be it.  I will not remain silent.

               The Expatriate
               (Bleak Legion)

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                                 Klown War Kronicles

     It is I, Boca Mierda, here to bring this week's news/rumors to my loyal public
of SCOMMS Swamp.  The more a reporter digs here in our beloved swamp, the slimier and
dirtier the rumors seem to be that are pulled from the muck.  Rumor has it that CFH
has left Alastari with no word of his return, and that he has given the leadership of
vendett@UNITED to Abraxis for Turf War 4.  Yeah O.K., I'll save my comments on this
for later!
     Now finally, we of the swamp find the truth behind the confusing titles of the
Defecating Empire, oops, I mean the Desolate Empire.  Warriors and managers alike
signing D.E. of v@U one week, then signing v@U of the Desolate Empire the next.
Which one was it?  Now at least with this new alliance declaration we won't have to
worry about that anymore.  Thank the GODS!!!  This Toker gump, I mean guy (who by the
way has been seen frequenting many local taverns) has stated that he, Goat, Wasby and
some other no names are now a new alliance, "The Desolate Empire," with no
affiliation with vendett@United.  It's about time, I was lost in their so called
titles.  Toker names himself captain of this new alliance and then named Abraxis as
captain if he declares for them by T-225.  Then Abraxis tells Baphomet that he
doesn't care what it's called.  He will be the captain!  Huh?  That's a little
confusing in itself.  Is this really just a name change from vendett@United to The
Desolate Empire or is it a covert hostile take over?
     Also, who is this Goat?  Has the DM community really been questioning his
intellect for a long time?  Darn, I thought I was the only one!  At least some people
have sense enough to see it also!!  However, the funniest rumor I heard this week
concerned Goat and the manager that started this rumor.  The rumor was that Goat was
caught in bed with this manager's wife and instead of facing the manager who had
turned into a little furry rat with a pink nose and little sharp teeth, and horns, (I
guess he called this form of himself the "war beast") he ran out the door screamin'
and cryin' and ended up hiding with the coulrophobia freak, Hammer.  We all know by
now that Hammer is deathly afraid of Klowns, but who would have known Goat has a
phobia of little pink rats.  It's a little far-fetched that they were in hiding
together though, even for my rumors.  'Cause aren't this coulrophobia guy Hammer and
Goat the scaredy kat at war?   Then why would they hide together?  Sometimes this
whole reporting stuff confuses me more than it does my public.  That was most of the
scoop on Goat that I could find this week, but I promise that I will dig up more on
him even if it costs me an eye.  For he is one that I will personally love to trash
every chance I get for all the ruckus he has caused of late here in our beautiful
swamp.  He will pay one way or another, believe me, for I do not lie.  At least no
much, only little ones.
     Is there any validity to the rumor that it was really Abraxis that hired an
assassin to take out CFH, and that is why CFH is no longer with us, and the automatic
break off from v@U with Abraxis at the head here in our SCOMMS Swamp.  Makes you
wonder, don't it??  And what's up with Waspy and that other manager Asreal.  I hope
they don't keep telling the same story.  "No it was I who made you think this and see
that."  "No it was me who made you see an illusion."  LAME.  Come on fellas, can we
at least get an original retort.  If not, please stay silent.  No, never mind that,
keep it up.  It probably amuses everyone like it does me.  I can also see that Mr.
Coffee's statements about pseudo roosters thumping their birds chest, etc...laid bare
their pretentious ways.  Personally I feel alliances are like wine.  Young grapes are
full of flavor and energy, as they are turned into wine and the wine ages, strengths
and values increase, unlike Coffee.  It gets weaker with age!!!
     Another rumor that has sifted through to my ears, is that Baphomet had
originally tried to bring vendett@UNITED in to the Illuminati Alliance for the Turf
War, but was refused because he was nothing but hot air and could barely hang on if
he was sent to Noblish Island.  Now, with his archnemesis on the scene, will he tuck
tail and run from Heathen like he has every time before?  Will this most *dangerous
manager ever* claim to fame really be enough, or will it end the same as it always
has, proving Baphomet to be the coward that everyone says he is?  This will
definitely be exciting to watch unfold.  And please my loyal public, DO NOT take this
as host abuse.  The rumors this week were not questioning his hosting skills but his
managing skills.  So this rumor was about the manager and not the host, plus we have
most definitely seen too much of that in Alastari of late.  These are just rumors
that I report.  None are of my own making.
     Now ladies and gentlemen, hags and wretches, or whatever you are, of the SCOMSS
Swamp.  I will finish this week's Klown War Kronicles with some of my own comments.
With all the celebrity managers that the TW4 seems to attract, I think that the
Illuminati doesn't have this thing sewed up like they thought they did with MOST
managers seeing the major offensive the Illuminati is building.  It is rumored that
other alliances are forming their own conglomerate to make this the Turf War of Turf
Wars and to stop the Illuminati from running away with the contest by sheer numbers.
Also with Tripwire declaring for his own alliance the "Iron Council", the Illuminati
will be hard pressed without his veteran managing skills.  What I really want to know
is what happens to the klk "Bringer of Pain."  That has to be one of the shortest
memberships in Alastarian history!  This should really end up being the Turf War of
all Turf Wars by the way things are shaping up.
     Due to the contest, I, Boca Merida will do my best to keep my public informed of
the rumors here in to keep my public informed of the rumors here in SCOMSS Swamp.
However, with the statistics being printed for the contest, I will keep it as short
and sweet as possible.  The less people run off at the mouth, the less work I would
have.  Thanks, SCOMSS Swamp, for keeping this reporter in the money.  'Till next
time, don't talk no trash, won't be no trash....

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                               *TURF WAR IV UP-DATES*

     I read the questions Master Darque posted for clarification and thought I'd
print the clarification:

1.  Start and end of TW4:  Starting turn 225 and ending on 236.  Sorry.  It's 12
    turns.  My math got a little funny.
2.  Team Declarations:  A team may come in at any time between turn 225 and 235.
3.  Team Scoring:  there is no waiting period to begin scoring.  Once all
    requirements are met for entering TW4, then scoring will begin.
4.  Spy Report mentions:  *EACH AND EVERY MENTION* is worth +5 points.  Regardless of
    win/loss record.  Yet, it must be a *TEAM MENTION* and not a warrior.
5.  Champions:  A champion must be in the Adepts or below column on the turn it
    enters the contest.  If the warrior is claimed, then goes to a tourney before
    fighting, and winds up in the Challenger Adepts class...it is ineligible.
    However, if it is claimed, goes to the F2F, and enters the contest in the Adepts
    or lower classes, it is eligible.  Also, if the champion is claimed, is in the
    Adepts or lower class at the time of the tournament, wins a TV or TC, comes back
    in Adepts or lower...scoring will be (pts. x 2) 3 or x10 respectively.  If it
    comes back Challenger Adepts or above...it's ineligible to be a Champion, but
    will gain the x2 or x10 bonus for TVing or TCing (provided the team was entered
    in the contest).  To be a Claimed Champion...the warrior must be in the Adepts or
    below bracket on its first fight of the contest.
6.  Bloodfeuds:  If a manager BFs all four turns, he must use four different
7.  Dark Arena:  If a 0 Arena FE (tourney FE doesn't count) goes to the Dark Arena on
    its first arena fight...no negative points for losing.  Yet, gains +10 if it
    wins.  One Arena FE and above will suffer the negative points for losing and gain
    +10 for wins.

     I think that answers the questions about rules and scoring.  I appreciate Master
Darque posting them and if any others arise...simply let me know and I'll answer them
here, or privately.  Y'all have my address.
     Mr. Coffee also asked about his "open invitation".  I can honor that, but it
also means you can't deny anyone from joining if they declare for T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C.
Just remember, a Captain can verify anyone, but...it's the manager's responsibility
to declare for the alliance.  Takes three things to get in the contest:  1)  A
verification from the team Captain, 2)  A declaration from a manager with his name,
team name, and champion if he wants to declare one, 3)  An RSI Gift Certificate sent
to me for the kitty (no Kat, not for you!  Not that kind of kitty!)
     Now, speaking of Kat...did you realize you've already verified Fizban for VC?
Or has that changed?  He also made a declaration for VC as well.  Master Darque,
however, has never made a declaration.
     While I'm thinking about it...I've noted the different team name changes and in
the spirit of good fun...have made the correct changes in the alliances and such.
     Finally, let me wish everyone good luck in Turf War IV.  Let's make this the
best one yet.
     Here's what I've got for declarations, verification, certs and what the scoring
will look like each turn:

(BTW -- I received six certs from "Syndicate X"...whoever they are!)

     Okay, here's what I've gotten so far.  And, this is what the report each month
will look like.

                                                    (  TTL), ( LT)     V  D  Cert?
*THE IRON COUNCIL/Tripwire, Cpt                     (     ), (   )
     Tripwire/Of Wolf and Man                       (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Ultraist/Wolfcats                              (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Jekyll, Indifference                           (     ), (   )     y  y  y

*T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C./Mr. Coffee, Cpt                   (     ), (   )
     Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules!/Freeze Dried          (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Heathen/Misnomers/Hugh G. Go                   (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Snarky/Freedonia/The Kurgen                    (     ), (   )     y  y  y

*SCOMS TOWER/Slugbait, Cpt.                         (     ), (   )
     Slugbait/Mystic Orc Feast                      (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Crip/Royal Flush                               (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Oz/Land of Oz                                  (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Mannequin/Second Bananas/Wilson                (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Father O'Malley/Old Habits                     (     ), (   )     y  y  y

*VENDETTA CARTEL/Kat, Cpt.                          (     ), (   )
     Kat/The Bear's Paw/Paul Bearer                 (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Maximillian/Natural B. Killers 2               (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Street Legal/Life's Lessons/Homey D. Clone     (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Master Darque/Darque Forces/Orc Feast          (     ), (   )     y  n  y
     Fizban/Managerial Mayhem                       (     ), (   )     y  y  n

*DESOLATE EMPIRE/Abraxis, Cpt.                      (     ), (   )
     Abraxis/Leaders/Mr. Crowley                    (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Goat/Desolate Ones                             (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Toker/Maestus Mortales/Gangsta Creep           (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Wasby/Soulforge                                (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Dok Sik/Dok Sik Killas/Manta                   (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Skullagrim/Skeleton Key                        (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Lasher/Mayfair                                 (     ), (   )     y  n  n
     Sho-time/Dark Side                             (     ), (   )     y  y  n

*ILLUMINATI/Talon Darkhart, Cpt.                    (     ), (   )
     Talon Darkhart/Adult Swim/Bender               (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Sir Chester/Draconic Realm/Arauthator          (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Azrealus Prime/Fallen/Lil Bit                  (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     P-Diddy/The Dreaming/Dead Angle                (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Hammer/All-Swamp Hammerz/Swamp Lily Hammer     (     ), (   )
  y  y  y
     Assurnasirbanipal/Palindromes                  (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Nemesis/Zoids                                  (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Noachian/The Ripper Crew                       (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Asmo Dius/Baatanar'ritezu/Pazazu               (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Baphomet/Knights Templar                       (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Liam the Goth/Gothic Ministry/Incubus          (     ), (   )     y  y  y
     Buddy Lee/Dark Pinnacle/Steal Shank            (     ), (   )     y  y  y


(TTL) = total number of points earned or lost during the contest
( LT) = total number of points earned or lost last turn

     The alliance gets a score, and each individual earnings/losses are recorded.

                                   Baphomet, TCB

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                                  *HEATHEN'S CAFE*

     I thought Heathen's idea was so good that I decided to air something myself.
     For the past seven or eight months, I've been working on equations which
generate Favourite OE and Favourite AL.  I discovered some very real similarities
while doing a comparison analysis on the pool of graduates (about 485).  I discovered
some very interesting things with style specific comparison!
     Now, my math isn't perfected yet...I'm close on some...off on some...and right
on with others.  I mean...not just the ranges...but the actual numbers created for
the turn sheet.  I not only can chart the ranges, but also the EXACT NUMBER to use on
the fight sheet.
     My biggest discrepancy comes in when Tactics are applied.  We all know that a
tactic modifies one or more skills areas, and may indeed apply negatives to others.
My assumption is that a Favourite Tactic would, if this makes sense...give all the
bonuses without causing penalties.  Does this make sense?  How do you see the skill
areas being affected by a favourite Tactic, and which ones are affected by each of
the Tactics?

                              Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568)

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                           The Story of Killer and Deadly

     Deadly was freed by Madam Soule on Noblish Island to become a model for Madam
Soule's modeling school.  She was expensive, but for Madam Soule she was well worth
it.  In almost four months she had earned almost three times what Madam Soule paid
for her.
     Deadly wore emerald robes everywhere, even to sit in the audience where people
just gawked at her.
     A little after her twenty third birthday a young Shewish Giant came into Madam
Soule's modeling school and soon found out they made friends almost from the start.
     "I heard so much about you, plus have some of your posters," the Shewish Giant
said shaking Deadly's hand.
     "I am glad you came to this school," Deadly said.
     Madam Soule stroked the Shewish Giant's long brown hair.  "You will make quite
an impact here."
     "I hope I can do as good as Deadly."
     Deadly blushed, but it was soon destroyed as Madam Soule told the Shewish Giant
that she would overshadow her within days.

     A big event was picking up at the town hall and Deadly was looking at her
emerald gowns, trying to don the best one.  She heard a knock and went to the door.
Madam Soule stood there smiling.
     "I am almost ready."
     Madam Soule nodded.  "Go help Killer."
     Deadly hung her head and walked to Killer's dressing room.  She knocked on
Killer's door and soon it was opened and she felt awestruck looking at Killer in her
pink knickers.
     "So what's up?"
     Deadly shook her head.  "Madam Soule told me to help you get ready."
     Killer giggled.  "She was just here and I told her I was all ready."
     Killer hugged Deadly.  "So let's get your gown and knock this crowd dead."
     Deadly smiled and they walked to Deadly's dressing room.
     "Blast!" yelled Killer running ahead.  They saw the fire from Deadly's room.
     "What the...?" Deadly managed to say looking at the blaze.
     "Oh poor dear," Madam Soule said looking into the room.
     Killer pulled out a dagger from her knickers and shoved it into Madam Soule's
gut.  "You did this."
     Madam Soule dropped to her knees and pulled our the dagger.  "You are better."
     Killer kicked her under the chin, knocking her to her back.  "We are together."
     Deadly ran with Killer out of the town hall.
     "Where do we go?" Killer asked.
     "Away from this hell hole.  We'll go to another place to make you a star."
     "What about you?"
     Deadly smiled.  "Do not worry.  I have retired myself to help you get that
     "With your help I know I can get it."
     Deadly paid the six rupees to get her and Killer on the ferry.
     "We will go some place that you can totally shine."
     The next day they disembarked and strolled the town of North Fork.  Killer
stopped at a tailor shop and picked up a green blouse.  "How's this?"
     "Not emerald."
     "Not everything is emerald," Killer said shaking her head.
     "Then it won't go on me," Deadly said with a grin.
     A guy came around the corner carrying a maul and walked to the salesman.  "You
gypped Suicide out of seven silver pieces."
     The man shook his head.  "No, I couldn't have."
     "But you did."
     The man pulled some coins from his pocket.  "Here."
     The man with the maul smiled.  "I'll let him know what a sport you are."
     "We will go with you to see this person," Killer said pulling on Deadly's arm.
     Within an hour the man walked them to the Lizard Tail's Inn.  Upstairs they went
into a huge room where two people were talking.
     "These two followed me."
     One of the persons got off a burgundy couch and walked toward the new persons.
"Why did you come?"
     "This man works for you?" Killer asked and the person under the cloak said he
     "Well we want to strike fear into people like he did."
     "I can help you some, but you also gotta have attitude.  Without it you are just
wasting your time."
     Killer nodded.  "So is that a yes?"
     "We'll see."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                 The Story of Judge

     Judge grew up on the north end of North Fork.  His best friend was the bailiff
of Harley Court House.  At the age of thirty he became judge, sentencing his first
plaintiff to hanging for using two nails too many on his roof.
     Suicide was standing by the door smiling as two bailiffs dragged the man out.
     Judge went into his chambers and Suicide followed.
     "Can I help you?"
     Suicide nodded.  "You sure can.  The justice you serve in your courtroom; you
can also do it in the town arena."
     Judge smiled.  "Are you making me an offer?"
     Suicide nodded.  "I hear you are good with a sword as well as a gavel."
     "So you've studied me."
     "I'm a manager who has been around, plus I heard tales about you throughout this
land," Suicide said.
     "Judge nodded.  "Get on with it."
     "That is not all you're gonna say is it?"
     Suicide sat down in the chair to the left of Judge's desk.  "Think about all
those would-be criminals in town--those that will never step foot this way.  You, yes
you could show them the way to help them not to be as you would say, or I, that
justice will be served."
     Judge shook his head.  "Your evidence sucks."
     "Look," said Suicide standing up and walking to the only door, "those people
have no justice so we must put it into'm so that when we come back here they'll still
remember what we stand for."
     "And fear us."
     "Yes," agreed Suicide, "that is exactly what we want, so whenever that feeling
of wrongness is about them the thought of your justice will flash into their minds."
     Judge sat down.  "I like what I hear and agree at what you say."
     Suicide nodded.
     "We will either bring justice to those pathetic fools or sharpen our blades with
their hides."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                               The Story of Man Hunter

     Suicide was walking through the forest of North Fork.  He grabbed some
blueberries from a bush and stopped as he saw a man in a bloody white cloak coming
from a cave with a maul in his hand.
     "You watch your step," the man said.
     Suicide held up his staff as it blazed with fire.  "I got this."
     The man shook his head.  "I will bash, you will die."
     "I like your attitude, Man Hunter."
     The man lowered his maul.  "How you know me?"
     "I know you because I want to.  You are a man of might and knowledge."
     Man Hunter rubbed his chin.  "What do you want?"
     "To make you what you are," Suicide said walking closer.  "You want to bash,
well I am gonna help you.  Think about crashing your wrath on people without any
consequences or living at the quality places and going when you want to."
     Man Hunter smiled.  "I go where I want now."
     "Yes and you have orders to be killed on sight.  Now I can make that go away."
     "How?" asked Man Hunter.
     Suicide smiled.  "By joining my team.  Not only my kind of justice, but it'll
also be your kind of justice."
     "I like how you talk."
     "'Cause I talk with truth," Suicide said, lowering his staff.
     "Can I actually trust you?" asked Man Hunter.
     "Well, I can only go so far."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                   Heathen's Cafe

     I'd like to pick up on Goat's suggestion--how does each of you design or run a
lunger?  What is your favorite style?
     Me, I don't run many lungers, but there are really two kinds aren't there?  The
skilled, long-term, for which you need high wit, decent will and a good deftness or
the short-term "devastator" which is one I'll try to get high damage and good attack
skills with some speed to get the dump.  Devastators most offensives.  There is the
scummy lunger, which you can build up a good endurance and run dodge and/or riposte
in the first minute.  Never been a fan myself.
     As for my favorite style--the greatest style in the game is the Wall of Steel!
Underrated by most players and mangers, but starts with the same amount of skills as
a lunger and has the best of both worlds with a good defense and offense.  Plus have
you ever tried 8-3-7 Riposte with a skilled Waste?
     15-12-3-17-17-5-15--what I wouldn't give for that design....

                                        Heathen Hatebred

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                  SWAMP SCRIBBLING
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

    Mr Coffee strolled around the grounds of the big tent that had been erected for
the gala Turf War 4 party that he had chosen to host on the eve of the opening round
of the TW4 to honor the efforts of the TW4 Host Baphomet the Blade.
    Greeting the assembled managers and introducing them by name, Mr Coffee was quite
pleased with the turnout.  Baphomet had done quite well in convincing many of the
participating managers that this TW4 would indeed be the best ever to hit the DM 47
North Fork/SCOMMS Swamp Arena sands.
    However, Mr Coffee set his gaze upon the one manager who had stirred more than
enough controversy and intrigue among the heated egos of those who had gathered to
prove themselves to be the best in the business in giving their opponents the
    He watched the veteran manager calmly chisel and pick at the block of ice that
had been brought to the refreshment stand.
    What must be going on inside that razor shaven head of The One who had single
handedly stirred more than enough controversy to assemble some of the most unlikely
managers to compete in the TW4 contest?
    Some had assembled out of mere curiosity mixed with the desire to witness first
hand and contribute to the blow by blow events that would surely highlight the TW4
competition over the next 12 cycles in SCOMMS Swamp Arena.
    Mr Coffee grinned from ear to ear as he watched his old friend meticulously carve
a hideous rendition of a Clown face from the block of ice; noticing the intensity
with which the veteran manager chipped at the block of ice with a Ceremonial Elven
War Blade.
    The wicked gleam in the eyes of his old friend sent a shiver down his spine.
    It was now high time for a heart to heart talk.
    "Looks like our plan to make North Fork the hottest arena in the land has come to
full fruition," Mr Coffee stated matter of factly as he approached the veteran
    "As was spoken aforetime," responded the Illuminati Ice Pick of Ice Sculpting
Intrigue, "I have delivered upon my promise to create an atmosphere here in DM 47
that would draw a variety of managers to your beloved arena to spice things up!"
    Mr Coffee nodded his head in agreement as Hammer withdrew his Ceremonial Elven
War Hammer from within the folds of his Elven War Cloak; to put the finishing touches
on the Clown sculpture as the assembled guests roared their approvals and protests.
     "Let the Games Begin!" shouted Baphomet the Blade as Hammer smashed the Clown
Faced Caricature to Smithereens!

                                      SPY REPORT

     Busy, busy, busy, lots of things happening in SCOMSS SWAMP this turn, and let's 
start with a look at some of the teams.  OF WOLF AND MAN must be either in pain, or 
numb, having dropped from 5th to 16th this turn, with a 2-3-0 acting as the weight.  
Our condolences (or sneers, as the case may be) go out to MAESTUS MORTALES for their 
drop to 28th from 15th.  A 1-3-0 can do that.  DARK PINNACLE stable has parlayed this 
turn's 2-3-0 into a 8 space move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 18th place. 
Good work, guys!  The MAYFAIR guild has had a 4-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched 
in the future.  You never know where this kind of thing can lead.  On their very 
first turn, BAATANAR' RITEZU had a 3-2-0, and with this kind of luck or skill, should 
do well.  Welcome to SCOMSS SWAMP.  SCOMSS SWAMP welcomes a new team to our ranks, 
unofficially of course, for now.  But welcome nonetheless to PALINDROMES.  Let's see 
what you can do.  And let's see, KALYPSO fought MARAJUANA MAN and gained 22 points 
and contributed to DARQUE FORCES' 2-1-0.  WHITE SETTLER has lost to BEAR NEKKID, 
falling 15 points, while helping make NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 a 3-2-0 turn.  This week's 
Duelmaster bout was between SPAWING OF SPEWN and our Duelmaster OSLOBEN BENBOBEN, 
making a challenge.  The attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and OSLOBEN 
BENBOBEN remains SCOMSS SWAMP's top warrior for another turn.  Tell me, is nothing 
sacred?  I have heard from unimpeachable sources that The Swinging Aardvark uses 
trolls in their stew.  Talk about gristle!   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  THE BEAR'S PAW has cause to stand tall, 
as they were SCOMSS SWAMP's most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team 
to beat.  And avoiding THE BEAR'S PAW more than any other team we find LIFE'S 
LESSONS.  SCOMSS SWAMP, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  Well, 
sports fans, take notice that LIL BIT from FALLEN was SCOMSS SWAMP's most challenged 
warrior this turn.  I don't know about you, but GET THE POINT? challenging down 19 
points to MISNOMERS' RICHARD CRANIUM, is not really worthy of LIFE'S LESSONS.  We're 
not surprised to hear that GET THE POINT? won victory over RICHARD CRANIUM, but I bet 
it would be interesting to hear why LIFE'S LESSONS made such a challenge.  MISS DE 
MEANOR from MISNOMERS took a risk this turn by bravely challenging up 28 points in a 
challenge against BENDER.  And though MISS DE MEANOR lost to BENDER, the valiant 
attempt earned her 1 worth of recognition.  Foolhardiness can sometimes pay.  In a 
brave attempt, KRAMER from SECOND BANANAS challenged up 23 points to fight GREGOLA 
from the LIFE'S LESSONS stable.  KRAMER perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he 
won victory over GREGOLA and ended up with 108 recognition points.  DROPSHOT of 
FALLEN had better have a good reason for challenging down 13 points in a challenge 
which he lost.  I thought DROPSHOT showed great skill and promise when he was bested 
by GENESIS.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     The Dark Arena is for those who cannot win, not who cannot lose with grace.  
Dignity in life or death is the warrior's creed.  Whatever bright future ONE may have 
had, it's all history now.  The manager of OF WOLF AND MAN has lost a promising 2-0-0 
warrior.  Seriously now, is it really honorable for BENDER from ADULT SWIM to kill 
MISS DE MEANOR and give MISNOMERS the chance to bloodfeud?  Mmmm, could be.  Kudos go 
out to ANTON LEVAY this turn, for revenging LEADERS' bloodfeud against THE DREAMING's 
warrior DEAD ANGLE.  Well done.  A brave warrior does not carry a red shield, he has 
nothing to cover or hide when the fight is over.  Consider well.   
     Remember, blood on the purple robe does not change it from a purple robe.  Dare 
to fight bravely.  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep your 
swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to 
paper-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOURGLASS 5127               18   2  0   123       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KRAMER 5191                  10   5  0   108       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 ACE METRIC 3554               8   4  0   103       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 GREGOLA 5101                 21  14  0    99       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 PROHIBITION 5607             12  12  0    96       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 TOTO 3914                    18   9  0    91       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197        10   6  0    91       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JABBERWOCK 1277              14  17  4    89       FREEDONIA (32)
 MARAJUANA MAN 3411           12   5  2    86       BLACK STORM (171)
 SARA F. 5349                  8   2  0    86       SKELETON KEY (493)
 KILLING JOKE 5611            14   9  1    85       INDIFFERENCE (611)
-WYRD 5167                    10   4  0    79       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 BOMBADIL 2724                15  10  0    72       FREEDONIA (32)
-MINOR BLUE 5326               9   3  1    71       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151            8  12  0    69       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 AMELA BUNDERSON 5339          8   3  0    68       SKELETON KEY (493)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321         9   3  2    67       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEAR NEKKID 5126             12   8  0    66       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 LAST CALL 5606               10  10  0    66       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235            9   8  1    66       LAND OF OZ (217)
-LEPPADA 2257                 13  22  0    61       TREBORS (232)
 JENNA 5099                   13  11  3    59       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137       10   3  0    58       OLD HABITS (566)
 CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318         8   4  0    58       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 LADY ARCANE 4381              6   2  1    58       THE RIPPER CREW (489)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FREEZE DRIED 5308            11   3  0    55       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148             10   9  0    55       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 BLOOD RAYNE 5489              8   5  0    51       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481           5   1  0    51       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PAUL BEARER 5187              8   8  2    49       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 WOODY 5412                    6   1  2    49       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441        6   0  0    49       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              7  10  1    48       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 LEET STREEGLE 5368            6   2  0    48       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 WHITE SETTLER 5322            6   6  1    47       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 ARAUTHATOR 4660               4   1  0    47       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 HUMBUG 5199                  10   8  1    45       LAND OF OZ (217)
 STEAL SHANK 5487              7   2  1    44       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 CYANIDE 5444                  4   2  1    44       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 TARANTELLA 5687               3   0  0    44       LOST SOULS (618)
 APPIUS 5392                   6   2  0    43       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 CYRUS THE GREAT 5681          3   0  0    43       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 GANGSTA CREEP 5391            4   4  0    42       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
-MAHARA 2656                   9  13  1    41       TREBORS (232)
 BODAK 5589                    4   3  1    41       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 WOZZECK 5644                  3   0  0    40       THE OPERA (613)
 ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564           10   5  0    39       BLACK STORM (171)
 INCUBUS 5423                  5   2  1    39       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393           5   2  1    38       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 SWEET N LOW 5306              7   7  0    37       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 ANTON LEVAY 5429              4   1  1    37       LEADERS (593)
-B.B. CROSS 5323               8   4  2    36       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 DASTER MARQUE 5196            6  10  0    36       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 WILSON 5482                   5   1  1    36       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 MORWHEN 5686                  3   0  1    36       LOST SOULS (618)
 BENDER 5395                   7   0  1    34       ADULT SWIM (589)
 SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442        5   1  1    34       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262     4   5  0    33       OLD HABITS (566)
 GENESIS 5435                  4   2  0    33       SOULFORGE (587)
 HITLER YOUTH 5547             2   2  0    33       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 CRISTER MOFFEE 5289           8   7  1    32       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JACK & JILL 5310              6   5  0    32       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 DAVID KARESH 5426             4   1  0    32       LEADERS (593)
 FRED BEAR 5348                5   5  0    31       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 LIL BIT 5404                  3   1  1    29       FALLEN (590)
 ICHORID 5584                  3   0  0    29       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 EBOLA (Z) 5447                4   2  0    28       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 BEAR SKINRUG 5399             4   1  0    28       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 MELON MUSH 5357               6   5  0    27       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SUZANNE 5560                  2   0  0    27       MAYFAIR (607)
 CAFE AU LAIT 5344             4   8  0    26       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 GET THE POINT? 5097           4   8  0    26       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 SISTER SLEDGE 5341            3   1  0    26       OLD HABITS (566)
 EVICSERATOR 5358              6   3  1    24       BLACK STORM (171)
-RED DRAGON 5585               4   2  0    24       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438        3   3  1    24       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 HALLE BEARY 5312              3   9  0    24       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 DAY DREAM 5417                2   3  0    24       THE DREAMING (591)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DROPSHOT 5402                 3   1  1    23       FALLEN (590)
 BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408          3   0  0    23       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396        3   4  0    23       ADULT SWIM (589)
 DAINTY CHINA 5564             2   1  0    23       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CARLOTTA 5559                 2   0  0    23       MAYFAIR (607)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885            5   6  0    22       BLACK STORM (171)
 LOWELL 5569                   3   0  1    22       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 AXELROD GUNNER 5401           3   2  0    22       FALLEN (590)
-ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          2   0  1    22       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 DAMIEN BANESON 5519           2   0  0    22       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 STELLA 5561                   2   0  0    22       MAYFAIR (607)
-WAR CRY HAMM 5436             2   2  0    22       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 SEALAB DEBBIE 5567            1   2  0    22       ADULT SWIM (589)
 TSO TSUNG T'ANG 4391          5   2  0    21       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               2   1  0    21       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 FAUST 5643                    2   1  2    20       THE OPERA (613)
 ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377          2   6  1    19       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 CAESAR 5679                   2   1  0    19       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 WOW 5495                      1   0  1    19       PALINDROMES (599)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494              4   0  0    18       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-MIDGUARD 5410                 3   2  0    18       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 SHADE'S FORM 5549             3   1  0    18       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 DON KING 5374                 2   4  0    18       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-FINCH 5627                    1   0  0    18       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439        3   3  1    17       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SON YUNG MOON 5427            3   2  0    17       LEADERS (593)
 PHILP OF MACEDON 5680         2   1  0    17       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 VALAMARADACE 4695             2   3  0    17       DRACONIC REALM (519)
-ARCHANGEL 5579                1   0  0    17       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 FREEBORN BLOODBLADE 5597      1   1  0    17       BLACK STORM (171)
 KENTSUI FURY 4382             4   4  0    16       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 HANTA 5443                    2   4  0    16       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 JAIDEN 5685                   2   1  0    16       LOST SOULS (618)
 SHORTEST STRAW 5532           1   2  0    15       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 BLACKENED 5531                3   0  0    14       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          2   1  0    14       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-PRINCE DARIUS 5581            1   0  0    14       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440        1   5  0    14       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 PAZUZU 5513                   1   0  0    13       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 RACECAR 5498                  0   1  0    13       PALINDROMES (599)
 MEDEE 5642                    3   0  0    12       THE OPERA (613)
 HOLLE' CHERRY 5437            3   1  0    12       SKELETON KEY (493)
 FREMAN 5376                   2   6  0    12       FREEDONIA (32)
 BULLSEYE 5571                 2   1  0    12       SOULFORGE (587)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE KURGEN 5636               1   1  1    12       FREEDONIA (32)
-CRYPT ANGEL 5553              1   1  1    12       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 NYCADAEMON 5592               1   1  0    12       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 DYERS EVE 5535                1   2  0    12       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 BLACK BALL 5520               3   2  0    11       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 OBLIVION 5518                 2   1  1    11       BLEAK LEGION (601)
-TRESSA 5388                   2   5  0    11       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 ROBUST BREW 5400              2   5  0    11       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 GRADE TEN 5638                1   0  1    11       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SPECTRE 5654                  1   0  0    11       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 BRUTE 5590                    1   1  0    11       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 DEAD ANGLE 5418               2   3  1    10       THE DREAMING (591)
 CONSTANTINE 5677              2   0  0    10       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 CAPPUCCINO 5382               1   7  0    10       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-LOW FAT LOON 5527             1   1  0    10       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 PARTY TRAP 5496               1   0  0    10       PALINDROMES (599)
 TARZAN 5542                   0   4  0    10       FREEDONIA (32)
 DARK HEART 5684               2   1  1     9       LOST SOULS (618)
 DIPTHERIA 5445                2   3  0     9       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 DEMONIC HEX 5530              2   2  0     9       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 BARBAZU 5514                  1   0  0     9       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 CLAUGIYLIAMATAR 4694          2   2  0     8       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 MR. CROWLEY 5570              2   1  0     8       LEADERS (593)
 HOMEY D. CLONE 5637           2   0  0     8       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
-ICKY ICED FLEA 5565           1   1  0     8       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 NIGHT TERROR 5420             1   4  0     7       THE DREAMING (591)
 HAMATULA 5510                 1   0  0     7       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 GLABREZU 5512                 0   1  0     7       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 MUSTAFA 5568                  1   1  0     6       THE DREAMING (591)
 HUGH G. GO 5574               1   2  0     6       MISNOMERS (608)
 ROWAN 5563                    1   1  0     6       MAYFAIR (607)
 DEADLY 4996                   1   0  0     5       CODE RED (547)
-ASSAD 5580                    1   0  0     5       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 TARGET 5573                   1   2  0     5       SOULFORGE (587)
 RICHARD CRANIUM 5577          1   2  0     5       MISNOMERS (608)
 BROCK SAMPSON 5416            0   5  0     5       THE DREAMING (591)
 ANGELIKA 5633                 1   1  0     4       FALLEN (590)
-BALOR 5586                    0   4  0     4       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 TNT 5499                      0   1  0     3       PALINDROMES (599)
 FEL STRIKE 5516               0   3  0     3       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 LADY SCALE 5517               0   3  0     3       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 OUT TO KILL 5594              0   2  0     2       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 CHARLOTTE 5562                0   2  0     2       MAYFAIR (607)
 FETAL CREEPY 5634             0   2  0     2       SOULFORGE (587)
 JACK DER RIERRE 5639          0   1  0     1       MISNOMERS (608)
 UNLEASH 5603                  0   1  0     1       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 LETHAL 4998                   0   1  0     1       CODE RED (547)
 DANTILLIUS 5675               0   1  0     1       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 DETARTRATED 5497              0   1  0     1       PALINDROMES (599)
 SPACE GHOST 5648              0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
 RAZOR 5689                    0   1  0     1       LOST SOULS (618)
 KILLER 4999                   0   1  0     1       CODE RED (547)
 FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 5647      0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
 MARBURG 5655                  0   1  0     1       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
-ABDULLAH 5582                 0   1  0     1       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5646           0   1  0     1       FALLEN (590)
 MAN HUNTER 5000               0   1  0     1       CODE RED (547)
 JUDGE 4997                    0   1  0     1       CODE RED (547)
-MAXIMUS 5583                  0   1  0     1       CELESTIAL KNIGHTS (609)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FAMILY GUY 5398        1  3 0 ADULT SWIM 589        B.B. CROSS 5323       222 REVENGED
NALFESHNEE 5511        0  1 0 BAATANAR' RITEZU 600  GRADE TEN 5638        225         
CLOCKWORK ORANGE 5415  2  1 0 BLACK STORM 171       ANTON LEVAY 5429      222 REVENGED
WEAKNESS 5515          0  1 0 BLEAK LEGION 601      INCUBUS 5423          222         
ORC 5673               0  1 0 CHAOTIX BEASTS 610    MURDEROUS MARK 18     225 NONE    
STRIKER'S MOFO 5651    0  1 0 DARK PINNACLE 598     MURDEROUS MARK 18     225 NONE    
SCUM EATER 5652        0  1 0 DARK PINNACLE 598     CARDIAC CRAIG 21      225 NONE    
BIRD 5522              0  1 0 DARK SIDE 602         ANTHRAX 5446          221 NONE    
GALDR 5171             7  6 1 DESOLATE ONES 524     FIGHTING TREE 5235    223         
ZYKLON 5548            1  1 0 DESOLATE ONES 524     ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552  223         
ANTHRAX 5446           2  3 1 DOK SIK KILLAS 595    DROPSHOT 5402         224         
SCUM 5596              0  1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    MR. COFFEE 24         225 NONE    
DRACONIC 5595          1  1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    WOW 5495              225         
ERON RIPPER 5403       0  4 0 FALLEN 590            WOODY 5412            224         
MSK 5507               2  1 1 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   WOODY 5412            223         
BRASSBACK 5544         0  2 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   CRYPT ANGEL 5553      223         
GULL 5626              0  1 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   THE KURGEN 5636       224         
NEUFCHATELLA 2958      3  9 0 FREEDONIA 32          STEAL SHANK 5487      223         
THE KURGEN 5375        1  3 0 FREEDONIA 32          SWAMP TRAP HAMME 5442 221 NOT REVE
SCORCH 5602            0  1 0 INDIFFERENCE 611      THE BARTENDER 26      225 NONE    
AMALRIC 5378           1  7 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   EVICSERATOR 5358      225         
CHARLES MANSON 5428    0  5 0 LEADERS 593           CARDIAC CRAIG 21      225 NONE    
JIM JONES 5430         1  1 0 LEADERS 593           DEAD ANGLE 5418       222 JUST REV
SIR PRIZE 5576         1  2 0 MISNOMERS 608         LOWELL 5569           225         
MISS DE MEANOR 5575    0  3 0 MISNOMERS 608         BENDER 5395           225         
ONE 5533               2  1 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 603   WILSON 5482           225         
F 5683                 0  1 0 THE OPERA 613         THE BARTENDER 26      225 NONE    
DA 5672                0  1 0 SALEM'S LOT 605       ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   225 NONE    
SKIPPY 5411            1  2 0 SECOND BANANAS 573    MSK 5507              221 REVENGED
MONICA HUMIDOR 5635    0  2 0 SKELETON KEY 493      MURDEROUS MARK 18     225 NONE    
PAULA BONES 4414      18 14 1 SKELETON KEY 493      JABBERWOCK 1277       223 REVENGED
ETHER 5572             1  2 0 SOULFORGE 587         OBLIVION 5518         225         
IMMAZAEL 5384          2  4 1 SOULFORGE 587         LIL BIT 5404          223         
GRAY GHOST 5387        2  3 1 SOULFORGE 587         DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 222         
SHADOW 5434            1  2 0 SOULFORGE 587         SWAMP BURP HAMME 5439 222         
KOZYTA 2640            9 13 2 TREBORS 232           LADY ARCANE 4381      224         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Baphomet -- I declare my team Darque Forces for the Vendetta Cartel. My Champion will
be Orc Plague. -- Master Darque

Baphomet -- I sent the above announcement last time too, but apparently HAL ate it.
Also, you should be getting or have gotten already two RU certs from me via Sandy.
One is for my entry and the other is for Maximillian. -- Master Darque

Baphomet -- The only reason my alliance mates and I have been relatively quiet is
that we've been too entertained to comment.  There seems to be much hubris at the
beginning of each Turf War, and this one is proving to be no different.  We'll see
who still stands at the end. -- The Chausie of Comment, Kat

Illuminati -- Seems you've taken the Cossack approach to the fray.  The quantity over
quality approach worked in the past.  It may again.  Good luck in your battles. --
The Ocelot of Observation, Kat

Abraxis -- You seem to have the unenviable task of holding a candle that's burning on
both ends.  I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your
friends will kill you.  Desolate Empire or V@U?  We await the outcome with bated
breath. -- the Persian of Politics, Kat

Wasby -- Got your note, and yes, I've been busy.  What happens in other arenas
doesn't always carry over, and this is such a case:  Don't fret it. -- The Devon Rex
of Dismissal, Kat

Mr. Coffee -- Once you're done with the SCOMS team, I've a wagon hitch that needs
polishing. -- The Chartreux of Cynicism, Kat

Oz -- You and yours beat us in the stretch last run.  My hope is that this go-around
is at least half as engaging, with a slightly different outcome. -- The Feline of
Funtime; The Siamese of Swing; The Balinese of Boast; The Himalayan of Hysterics; The
Maine Coon of Mainstream; The oh-so-ever-loveable-me, Kat

Hail and well met to the managers of this fine arena!  The warriors of the Lost Souls
look forward to crossing blades and I look forward to crossing wits with you. --
Raven, storyteller of the Lost Souls

Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar, Host of the Turf War IV -- Please include my team in
the Turf War contest under the banner of the X-Syndicate of Holy Cataclysm, thank
you. -- Raven, storyteller of the Lost Souls

Please enter Chaotix Beasts with the X-Syndicate of Holy Cataclysm Alliance for the
Turf War. -- Chaotix, manager of Chaotix Beasts

Khalhums Dwarf?  An NPC?!  I don't deserve to be an Ozer if I cannot defeat a stand-
in.  Woe is me?  Another acorn will probably be coming to take my place. -- Fighting

White Settler -- I wasn't even in the match.  A salute to your skill. -- Humbug
(feeling very "bah")

Kensui Fury -- Wasn't it just a little (or a lot!) embarrassing to lose to an
inexperienced dry piece of clay?  Oh my! -- Dainty China

Second Bananas -- #1 Team On The Move!  Mystic Orc Feast Top Chartered Team!
Congrats to Mannequin and Slugbait for holding The SCOMS Tower together! -- Oz The
All Praising

Please enter the team Age of Empires on the alliance team of X-Syndicate of Holy
Cataclysm for the Turf War -- The Historian

Arena 47 -- Greetings to all of you.  My name is the Historian.  I'm a new player to
Duel 2.  I've entered this contest at the urging of some other players who say it
would be a great introduction to the game.  I'm looking forward to crossing blades
with you! -- The Historian, manager of Age of Empires

Oslobenbenboben -- Congratulations!  It is quite an honor to be Duelmaster of SCOMSS
Swamp. -- Oz The All Covetous

Baphomet -- I am declaring team Celestial Knights eligible for the ILLUMINATI team.
I believe he shall go by the alias Pharaoh or Juggernaut.  Whoever he is, he's with
us.  *grin* -- Talon Darkhart, GOAT's Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

All -- First of all.  I have been quite busy as of late and fell behind on responding
to correspondence.  Not even sure if I have everything I was sent anymore.  It's a
long story but life's been going well.  That's all I'll say.  *grin*  Will try to
catch up and focus in here like I should.  It's time to get serious. -- Talon

The Desolate Empire Spy Reporter -- *snicker*  You know--*snicker*.  I read that
whole concept story about--*snicker*--there being a kLk spy.  *snicker*  And--
*snicker*--I guess you boys ain't heard that the kLk (outside of Hammer) all lives
within 15 miles of me (if that).  I see every one of them at least three times a week
if not sometimes daily.  *snicker*  So if you think--*snicker*--that I would believe
--*snicker*--one of them is a spy for of all people...you.  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Heck, if one of my boys was gonna sell me out I would at least hope they'd sell me
out to move UP, NOT DOWN.  Unlike other alliances in this game, you can't split us up
with ego-trips.  These are the guys I have over to barbecue on the weekends.  These
the guys I party with.  Go on road trips with.  This is mi familia.  Viva la rasa!
So you're gonna have to lie better than that to stir things up.  Good try though.
Well, not really.  Keep 'em comin.  But before you open your gravy-spewin grill, make
sure you know your facts.  It makes you look like you took the small bus to school.
Did you? -- Talon Darkhart, waving one finger in the air before crotch choppin

Toker -- NP on the words.  And as to my sword being sharp...you'll soon find out how
sharp it can be! -- TDH

Assurnasiricantevergettherestrightibal -- Good you could join us.  Haven't seen you
on the 'magickal web' in a while to chat.  Plus I've been busy.  Sorry I had to drop
18.  I really wanted to stay in there but I've had some priorities pop up.  *grin*
And I hate to break this to you, but being on Team Illuminati means you've got
enemies.  *laugh*  Welcome to the family!!  I know you'll more than carry your
weight!  BASH BASH BASH!! -- Talon Darkhart

Baphomet -- Asmo Dios just announced for Team Illuminati least turn.  I do believe
many a turn ago I listed him as able to announce.  If I did not I do so now but I am
pretty sure I did and his scoring should count as of this turn. -- TDH

Illuminati -- Greetings, gentlemen.  I want to take this time to address you before
you go into this war.  I know some of you are newer to this game.  Consider this your
baptism by fire.  It will not be easy.  Every dirty trick known to man will surely be
used during this contest:  Down-challenges, responsiveness, scumming, anything
imaginable.  But you shall give as good as you get.  Seek out the foes' weakest
points and pounce on them.  To heck with honour and not down challenging!  I was
raised Delarquan in this game and I live by it!  This game isn't about who's the most
honourable; it's about who has the most wins.  Challenge with a ferocity and use your
avoids to your full advantage.  Use every tool at your disposal and go out there and
make the other guy sorry he ever crossed your path!  You new guys wanna make a name?
You guys wanna be known?  Well here it is.  Twelve turns.  Your chance to etch your
name into the memories of everyone in this arena and in this game.  Now go out there
and make those suckers bleed!  ARE YOU WITH ME?!?! -- Talon Darkhart

Azraelus Prime -- One word:  ROADTRIP!!!!! -- TDH

Goat -- I know you won't understand this but...next time you open your jaw I'm gonna
play Monopoly with your mouth.  Don't scream! -- TDH
P.S.  Yea, you're my favorite....  *slap to the back of Goat's head*  You're it!
P.P.S.  I hope you drop the soap.

Noachian -- I do not know your god.  But as a sign of our good intentions with him I
offer you the blood we spill during this turf war!  May the deaths of our foes feed
your god's rage! -- Talon Darkhart
P.S.  Would you mind asking your god if he could slap the god of DOOM for me?  He's a
little about 'yah' tall and is always pissed off.  Mouths off a lot.  About ten
pounds of rage crammed into a five pound bag.  You seen him?

Iron Council -- Nice to see you guys again.  *grin*  Trip, good luck with your future
DM career and the Council.  And to you other two--well, how do I put this.  I hope J
and R know y'all, my boys.  But I still would like a piece of Ultra and Jekyll.
*grin*  Just for old times' sake.  Ultra even brought Wolfcats over from Jhans.
Yah!!  We get to pounce on his new guys!!  *laughing*  Good to have you guys here!
At least you had more kahunas than DOOMcorps.  Of course, most Ken Dolls have more
kahunas than DOOMcorps.  Is that what Polarius means by 'bumpin' plastic'?  Hmmmm. --

CFH -- You know, if you don't like your old 'friends' there's always room with 'the
bad guys'.  *waves an Illuminati shirt* -- TDH
P.S.  Got to see pantera once...heck ya....

Baphomet -- Please allow us the pleasure of being able to enter the Turf War.  We are
the X-Syndicate of Holy Cataclysm (X-Syndicate for short) and we are here to enact
great change.  You've hopefully already received our certificates, so you know we're
coming.  We hope to cross blades with some of the finest this game has to offer. --
Impresario, Captain of the X-Syndicate

Baphomet -- My team, The Opera, would like to declare and confirm for the X-
Syndicate. -- Impresario

Baphomet -- X-Syndicate confirms Lost Souls, Age of Empires, and Chaotix Beasts. --

Goat -- Point to you.  After reading your pa to me I could do nothing but laugh.  I
have no comeback for that one.  Thanks for the rag. -- Azraelus Prime

Baphomet -- Loved TW2.  Looks like this one is gonna be just as fun!  You run a great
contest, btw.  I appreciate all your efforts for this game.  It makes the game more
fun for me, so thank you! -- Assurnasirbanipal

Hello, fellow Illuminati members.  Hopefully I can hold my head above water for our
alliance.  Not sure what I've gotten myself into or realistically, what I've brought
here. -- Assur

Down with SCOMS!  So what if they're the favorite.  So what if Crip and Mannequin
have won two straight Turf Wars.  So what if their warriors are better than mine!  So
what if I lose....  Let the tower rot! -- Assur

All -- Looking forward to six months of PURE FUN!  Sent my first turn in and should
be on maintenance, just in case! -- Assur

     Shouldn't that be twelve months?  I thought this was going to run for twelve
     turns. -- Ed., mildly confused

Waspy -- No bloodfeud?  Lordy Lordy. -- Azraelus Prime

Desolate Empire -- No kills
The Fallen -- 2 kills

Baphomet -- I would like to confirm that Marauders is a member of the X-Syndicate
team. -- Impresario

Fetal Creepy -- "Assuming the position" is no way to win a fight, son. -- Lowell

Fred Bear -- Hey, those should have been MY learns! -- Wilson

Vash the Stampede -- The TP in you must come from your mother's side of the family.
-- Jack McFarland

Eron Ripper -- "I'm going to make you suffer for wasting my time like this."  Hahaha,
man, sometimes I just crack myself up.... -- Woody

Art Pendragon -- It's a good thing you chose to quit as quickly as you did.  Had I
more time, I would have been flinging bits of you to the crows. -- Kramer

Baphomet -- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. -- Mannequin
P.S.  The best defense of my strategy is to avoid me.  Often.  I will gladly accept
the most avoided team mention in the spy report.

Buddy Lee -- "Damn that Honest Jiles"?  You should be pleased to have such a fine
warrior bearing that name!! -- Mannequin

Nemesis -- I'm sorry, I don't speak MONKEY. -- Mannequin, mgr. Second Bananas

Baphomet -- It looks like we are going to need an updated alliance list.  There are
conflicting declarations and name changes in the personal ads which are causing some
confusion.  In the meantime, we will just challenge everyone. -- Mannequin, mgr.
Second Bananas

Baphomet -- I am declaring entry into the contest for my team Salem's Lot, for the
Vendetta Cartel alliance. -- Sensei Jan

Abraxis, Dok Sik, Goat -- Did you enjoy my challenges, your resulting losses, and in
Goat's Zyklon's case, death??  Know that this is just the beginning.  CFH wanted to
talk smack about me in an arena where I didn't even have a team.  Cowardly.
Especially considering my teams have a 100% Winning record against his.  Since he
seems to have quit, his boys will have to be my punching bags now. -- Sensei Jan and
Salem's Lot

Liam and Buddy -- What's going on, fellas?  Good luck and all.  My alliance brothers
have talked me into declaring for this contest, even paying my entry fee, so I
figured while I'm here slapping CFH's kids around, I'll participate. -- Sensei Jan

Abraxis -- Being called a Batman wannabe by a fellow leading a group of guys calling
themselves Dark Knights is so ironically funny that I don't know whether to laugh or
weep for your weak choice of insults.  Lose your cape and cowl and then come talk to
me, son.  Lol! -- Azraelus Prime

Baphomet -- This is to announce two more for the Vendetta Cartel "Kat Kontingent":
Fizban will be running "Indulgent Drinks", and Sensei Jan will be running "Salem's
Lot".  These should be added to the declared participants (Master Darque, Team:
Darque Forces, Champion:  Orc Plague) -- (Street Legal, Team:  Life's Lessons, Champ:
Homey D. Clone) -- (Maximillian, Team:  Natural B. Killers, Champ:  Undecided) --
(Kat, Team:  The Bear's Paw:  Champ:  Paul Bearer). -- The Abyssinian of
Announcement, Kat

Nietzsche quotations?  I suppose lectures on the Will to Power will follow? -- Kat

     Oh no!  Are y'all trying to give me a headache? -- Ed., not a fan of rhetoric

Wilson -- For some reason, Fred just expected you to sit there and listen to his
problems about being stuck alone on an island...then you savagely attack.  We were
all surprised. -- The Castaway Calico, Kat

The VC Kontingent has been relatively quiet due to attention given to the reams of
emails, diplomatic notes, and unsolicited pleas for quarter that, unsurprisingly,
will not be given.  We've not much respect for those who would act large and bold in
public, then profess innocence and contrition in private.  Grow up, and prepare to
fight. -- The Feline of Fact, Kat

Baphomet -- Great story last cycle, bro; keep em up! -- Azraelus Prime, Herald of the
Chaos Bringer

Hammer -- The turf war is now on, brother.  Let us slay the cowardly clowns that have
dared to address us as equals. -- Az

Gull -- Out of respect, I let you keep your head. -- The Kurgen of Freedonia

Zombie Knight -- You're quite a sight, wight! -- Bombadil of Freedonia (gave me a

(Black Storm on the move -- you can fight alright! -- Snarky (teammates next war,

Osloben Benboben -- Ours was "no contest", you scheming piece of wannabe Ben Kenobi!
You FORCED Paula Bones to Kamikaze challenge me to get you a bloodfeud leapfrog over
me to the throne!  (Paula, RIP, I saw your Lord "Protector" off to AD for you, dear.)
-- Jabberwock of Freedonia

(Sorry, "Oslo" -- There's just no restraining him...he's all tore up over that orc
witch.... -- Snark (newbies notice "Big Ben's"...uh...strategy")

Swamp Trap Hammer -- Me FREE!  NO like you TRAP! -- Tarzan of Freedonia

Hourglass -- I hear you're in town for a good time (not a long time) and Jabberwock's
ignoring your bids for attention?  Well...*I'm* free, sweetcheeks! -- Freeman of

Baatanar'ritezu! -- (gesundheit) -- just Snarking around, OK? (Alfred E. Neuman grin)

Steal Shank -- I can appreciate your scheme, but "Jabber Wok" finds no honor in
"cooking up" such vengeful downchallenge plots. -- Snarkshrugging (that's just the
way he is...)

Nemesis -- Name's all yours. -- Snark of Freedonia (formerly Nemesis)

Wasby -- You, my friend, YOU get the "GANDHI award." -- Snarkalicious

Aaarrrgh!! -- Ok, just venting some frustration at this team of mine.  They are not
the best trained, nor most skilled bunch but they should do for this Turf War. --

Toker -- Mr. Coffee is an old friend, so I'll continue to support him in this Turf
War.  Thank you for the offer--perhaps we'll join forces in the next Turf War or
maybe we'll fight side by side where you least expect it. -- Heathen Hatebred, mgr.
Misnomers, Fuhrer of Fascist Federation

Snarky -- Welcome to TATIOADH!??? -- Heathen, confused still

Baphomet -- I'm ALWAYS nice!  (big grin)  I should have kept the other team as you
said.  Live and learn! -- Heathen
P.S.  Are the VC still around?  Hmmm....

Ed. -- It just doesn't sound right when I'm quoting lyrics and you replace stuff
"butt." -- Heathen, grumbling

     Consider it a character building exercise.  Most unpleasant or annoying things
     seem to fall into that category.  Take cauliflower, for instance.  In fact, take
     it all. -- Ed., at the end of a loooong day and probably not making a whole lot
     of sense

"Eternal battle is the main condition upon which man holds his life tenure.  When the
brand is shattered in his hand, that is death or slavery.  When his enemies are
beneath his heel, that is life, honor, success." -- Ragnar Redbeard

Let the war begin! -- Heathen Hatebred

Bender -- Well fought, though if my manager had utilized MY original suggestions, it
would have satisfied my... -- Hugh E. Go

Cappuccino -- You could have at least taught me something for me allowing you your
first win! -- Miss De Meanor

Draconic -- You have the potential to be very dangerous! -- Sir Prize

Freeborn Bloodblade -- Interesting "fight." -- Richard Cranium

*Baphomet* -- I verify Snarky and his team Freedonia as well as Blackstorm. -- Mr.

Buddy Lee -- And I have coffee too. -- Mr. Coffee (chewing his gum)

Snarky -- Why not rename the swamp "Freedonia"?  Glad to have you for the contest.
Welcome.  Snarky--meet Heathen, Heathen--meet Snarky. -- Mr. Coffee (Captain and all
around welcoming manager)

Buddy Lee -- Just brewing the beans.  Quit being so decaf!  Hmmm...probably still a
bit strong for you though. -- Mr. Coffee

Heathen -- Check envelope for "classified" diplomatic communication.  Captain?  Me?
Come on!  Superior Leadership?  Where?  Besides Captain Coffee doesn't even sound
right.  I prefer... -- Mr. Coffee (unless my wife's around then she's Mrs. Coffee and
I'm honey, but only Mrs. Coffee can call me that.)

     Captain Coffee sounds like a superhero for the modern age. -- Ed.

Gangsta Creep -- Against most anyone else you will win.  Truly an awesome display.
You have our respect. -- Mr. Coffee
P.S.  I bet you drink coffee.

Baphomet -- I don't keep track for longer than a cycle.  I always remember old
friends...Oz, Crip, Hammer, You, The Fuhrer, Sacred Cow, Asmo, Horus One-Eye,
Slugbait (though he never talks to me--still a friend), Spawn, Carny, Master Darque,
Kat, CFH, Heathen.  The swamp has been good to me. -- Mr. Coffee

Heathen -- I avoid you and still we are matched up.  Thank you for our first win. --
Cappuccino/Coffee Rules!

Oz -- Spankings from the sisters?  Your alliance has all the benefits.  Maybe I could
add a "C" next contest.  S.C.C.O.M.S. -- Mr. Coffee (very envious of your alliance's

All -- Good luck. -- Mr. Coffee

Baphomet -- To clear things up, V@U no longer exists.  We are the Desolate Empire! --

Baphomet -- All V@U declarations still stand for the Desolate Empire.  I also verify
Lasher, and Heathen if he wishes to fight! -- Abraxis

Baphomet -- I acknowledge and confirm all of Toker's declarations. -- Abraxis

Baphomet -- My account shows that the cert was sent.  You don't show it received.
What's up? -- Abraxis

Oz -- I am glad to see that you were not obfuscated by my ostentatious predilection
for vitriolic inveighments! -- Abraxis

Desolate Empire -- Sorry for the -5 for Charles Manson.  I feel that in the long run,
he would have cost us more than that!  As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis

Oz -- I'm a lousy manager...and a lousy thief!  Ah, hell...I'm a lousy human being...
wait a minute!  I ain't human!  So, there! -- -- Baphomet (not a thief or a human)

Street Legal -- Welcome to TW4.  Just watch the comments about taking things.
Someone might make you an offer! -- Baphomet (not one of them)

Ultraist -- Welcome to the TW4. -- Baphomet

Jekyll -- A warm welcome to you also. -- Baphomet

Wilson -- True...but...did you notice the Desperation Strat?  Didn't win, true...but
I learned something.  That counts! -- Etienne

Mannequin -- Now, what job is it I do well?  And, you're right...someone would have
made a crack if you said you went both ways.... -- Baphomet (whistling like he was
innocent of such cracks)

Kat -- I welcome the Vendetta Cartel to TW4. -- Baphomet

Mr. Coffee -- What?  Another blunder?  Thanks.  It's straight. -- Baphomet

Hammer -- Again, thanks for letting me know.  It's straight. -- Baphomet

Toker -- Snail mail enroute. -- Baphomet

Gangsta Creep -- It was an easy win... -- Sir Galahad

Mr. Coffee -- If Black Thunder declares for your alliance...sure. -- Baphomet

Tripwire -- Sorry to see you jumping ship, but...at least you brought a couple of
decent competitors.  Good luck! -- Baphomet
P.S.  You should have heard from me personally by now.

Asmo Dius -- Dang, Brother!  I was wondering, but...happier than a hillbilly with
fresh roadkill to see you made it.  That makes it complete.  The *ENTIRE* TCB
alliance is represented. -- Baphomet
P.S.  Need decision regarding Buddy Lee and Liam from you ASAP.

Wasby -- As a member of Illuminati Confederation of Alliances...I always take care of
business. -- Baphomet

Liam -- Pharaoh needs to ask what he doesn't know.  Helping the recruits is what I'm
here for.  However, after my recent turns, I might need to ask *HIM* for help! (grin)
-- Baphomet

Buddy Lee -- No, we didn't get the teams mixed up.  Sir Chester just mixed his team
name up.  It was supposed to be "Drinking Realm."  Especially after the wild partying
he was doing with the klk fellows. -- Baphomet (grin)

TDH -- HOLLA! -- Baphomet

Az -- Give 'em hell! -- Baphomet
P.S.  See me in Jhans?

Heathen Hatebred -- Let's bring it to them then.  NO prisoners. -- Blackstorm, mgr.
Black Storm

Mr. Coffee -- The Storm just blew in.  We're all yours.  By the way Black Thunder is
one of mine.  I am Blackstorm, who ironically has a team named after him.

Baphomet -- The BLACK STORM declares for the T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C. with great pride.  The
paperwork will be taken care of real quick. -- Blackstorm (BLACK STORM)
P.S.  Zombie Knight is my champion if one needs a champion.  sigh

Snark -- Let's go smack 'em around a bit (no, a lot) heh heh. -- Blackstorm

All -- Since I'm the fourth or fifth oldest team here, I feel maybe I'll have my own
piece of turf.  To all in the War, good luck!!!  Well, maybe not, because I hope you
all lose, but I suppose it would be polite to wish you all good luck anyway. --

Abraxis -- OH!  But I am excited and I look forward to you teaching me something.  My
strict teacher.  We are in wait of crossing blades with you and yours. -- Sir
Chester, Draconic Realm (519)

Hammer -- I enjoy your p-ads...very...very nice.  No more Mr. Nice Guy.  Will be by
your side 100%. -- Sir Chester

Baphomet -- Well, it's about to begin.  Show no mercy upon the sands. -- Sir Chester

Buddy Lee -- Just so you know, I look forward to enjoying this contest among managers
with your alliance.  It's kinda refreshing given the declarations of war that seem to
be flying from all directions! -- A smiling D.K. Toker

Incubus -- I will find a way to beat you. -- The Expatriate

Ebola(2) -- Stubborn disease. -- Oblivion

Balor -- Even platemail has weak spots. -- Damien Banesor

Icky Iced Flea -- Brute cannot speak very well, but he wanted me to tell you that he
squashed you like the bug that you are. -- Damien speaking for Brute

Hammer -- You are the only one that knows, and I'd like to keep it that way.  I have
severed all ties and I'm trying to forge new ones.  Who I was no longer matters. --
The Expatriate

Baphomet -- The change-o-rama finally came through.  My team name is now Maestus
Mortales.  Please put it under the Desolate Empire Banner with Abraxis as our
captain.  Also your threat of deverification to Abraxis if CFH returns is a moot
point now.  We are the Desolate Empire! -- Dark Knight Toker, mgr. Maestus Mortales

Baphomet the mgr. -- You of all people I felt would act as an adult.  You give me
sound advice then choose not to follow it yourself?  Let me know what's up! -- Dark
Knight Toker

Desolate Empire -- It starts here!  Give no quarter, because we ask for none.  Let
the blood of our enemies flow freely!  Pax Tecum -- Dark Knight Toker, mgr. Maestus
Mortales (588)

Azraelus P. -- Watch out, Waspy may sting your butt more than you'd like. -- D.K.

Freman -- Big thanks for the four skills, two achievement statement and finding my
new favorite weapon! -- Steal Shank
P.S.  Still very remorseful under the circumstances.

Bombadil -- Ha!  Hum!  I hope bombadil don't come.  I won't have any fun, please
don't scum. -- Steal Shank'in my boots

Fel Strike -- I hate one hit quitters, but I am Master Liam's Champion.  I respect
your try in the bloodfeud.  I expect nothing less of you as a warrior. -- Incubus

Halle Beary -- Well met!  Wicked weapon choice you have.  You ever thought about Rip
and tank up when you get the feeling one of my kind comes after you?  Interesting
result! -- Blood Rayne

All -- Good luck in the Turf.  Use all your dirty tricks because I will use mine to
illuminate you.  Wish you all well. -- Buddy Lee

Baphomet -- A general will lead his army into battle even if to be slaughtered
himself.  You can never count me out of a fight. -- Buddy Lee, TCB, Illuminati
P.S.  As far as goat hunting, I'll keep it in mind.  I prefer War Rams.  They're more
domestic and trainable.

Hammer -- The drama unfolds AND the disrespect of your good name spoken ill too many
times by Forked Serpent Tongues.  It is more than my raging mind can bear.  Show them
to me so my flaming war mallet may crush some knee caps, shins and toes! -- Buddy Lee
P.S.  Dwarves rule!

Snark -- Lungers are deadly indeed, but watch out for them bad replacements.  They're
the worst!  And them nasty T.P. that attack instead of parry. (Total Purps) sigh....
-- Buddy Lee

Noachian -- Welcome!  Come join me at the Doll House (Feast Hall) after the fights
and we'll share your glories and sorrow with ours.  The drinks are strong and the
wenches even stronger, so I heard from Mannequin. -- Buddy Lee
P.S.  All are welcome.  Bar fights are very occasional so for the effeminate TAKE

Baphomet -- I have walked in the shadows of many arenas with no direction or purpose.
A friend you have become to me as with Hammer and the kLk.  I hold friendship next to
home and duty.  How could I not stand by your side? -- Liam the Goth, TCB

Asmo -- Shall we have fun on this fourth TW?  Bloody sands, my brother, bloody sands!
-- Liam the Goth, TCB

Buddy Lee -- Here's to new friends and the beginning of a new chapter in our careers
as managers. -- Liam the Goth, TCB

Willow -- I see you having fun.  Is that a smile I see? -- Liam the Goth

Az -- Well that's two wins for you. -- Liam the Goth, Illuminati

Black Legion -- A solid bloodfeud.  Good luck to you.  Feel free to drop me a line if
you wish. -- Liam the Goth

Hammer -- Thank you.  See you in Trocar, buddy. -- Liam the Goth, Illuminati

Noachian -- Shall we play with our food? -- Liam the Goth

Vendetta Cartel -- Good luck to the four of you.  I am honored to be fighting in the
same arena as you. -- Liam the Goth, Illuminati

Desolate Empire -- Good luck and hope you have a great contest. -- Liam the Goth,

T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C. -- May you have a fantastic contest. -- Liam the Goth, Illuminati

SCOMS Tower -- May honor shine on you with a kind smile.  Good luck to you guys. --
Liam the Goth

Iron Council -- Good luck to you. -- Liam the Goth

Baphomet -- Me again.  You should have gotten a third RU certificate from me, that
one is for Sensei Jan. -- Master Darque

Baphomet -- I am declaring Mayfair for the Desolate Empire for the Turf War. --

All -- Prepare to be *enchanted*. -- Lasher

All -- I hope you all are ready for the Turf War, when my witches will come a knockin
at your doors. -- Lasher

The Desolate Empire -- I salute you and I am looking very forward to joining your
ranks. -- Lasher

Baphomet -- I declare for the Desolate Empire or V@U if that's what they call it.
Just make sure you put me on Goat's team. -- Skullagrim

Abraxis -- Sorry about the challenge; I'm usually in a hurry and I screwed up. --

All -- Finally, Osloenbenboben graduates.  His stats are 18(+1)-10(+1)-7-15-17-4-15
adex initiative and parry, ad master att; battle axe and mod/low; learns att.  The
break kind of hurt him because I couldn't figure out the best way to run him when I
came back to 47.

Turf War 4 Swamp Sword Horde -- Welcome to the TW4, everyone!  It has taken several
months of plotting and planning, but here you all are for whatever reason drew you to
the sands of one of my most favorite arenas in all of Alastari, my friends and
friendly foes! -- Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired Greetings

Maximillian -- You do realize, my friend, that by Challenging one of my warriors on
the eve of the TW4 that you have broken my agreement with Kat that there would be NO
Challenges from my stable during the TW4 against Any of my former VC comrades; unless
of course my stable was Challenged by Any VC Member at Any Time!  For whatever reason
motivated you at the time, it was My Declared Champion you Challenged!  Even though
your warrior lost, consider it a breach of an agreement! -- Hammer; the Illuminati
Ice Pick of Irritated Response

Kat -- You were forewarned months ago! -- Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of
Incalculable Retribution

Abrasive the Clown -- Now that I have Your DIVIDED Attention and you have managed to
scrape together your Loyalists of the Defecating Empire; I just want each of your
minions to know how enjoyable it has been these past few months getting you all
stirred up for the TW4 contest!  nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNow the Fun REALLY
Begins!  You Clowns get to experience the Sensation of the OZ Swamp Champions
methodically targeting the unsuspecting while the Defecating Empire members stand in
line to take their shots at ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ and any undeserving VC stables who have
painted your faces red with embarrassment these past few cycles!  What a Year we have
to look forward to! -- Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of Indescribable Web Weaving
[who loves it when a good plan comes together!]

Mr Coffee -- This issue's Team Spotlight was as you requested, my friend! -- Hammer;
the Illuminati Ice Pick of Indefinable Plot Twisting

Baphomet the Blade -- When does your Complaint Counter officially open to the tune of
TEN TIMES the Cost for Griping out of turn? -- Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of
Increasing Irritation

The Expatriate -- Been so busy overseas that I did not remember if I had responded to

your March 05, 2005 Diplo or not?  So I mailed a Diplo to the Gladiatorial Commission
last week to forward to you, so you should be receiving that Diplo next month! --
Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of Indeterminate Diplo Response

Liam the Goth -- I trust your Weapon was Delivered as Requested! -- Hammer; the
Illuminati Ice Pick of Interdimensional Weapon Delivery

Tripwire -- Welcome to you and your New Found Alliance for the TW4 festivities.  My
overseas schedule has interfered with my Computer Dialing, which is why I had not
phoned you again!  Will clear some time this summer to send you a phone greeting!
Enjoy your Texas Hold 'Em at the upcoming Facer next month! -- Hammer; the Illuminati
Ice Pick of International Computer Phone Dialing

OZ the All Conniving -- Now that most of the arena is in an uproar over the many
months of soap opera on the sands rhetoric; the Eye of the Illuminati is upon you and
yours as you plot and plan your coordinated assault upon those who would dare to
dethrone the Turf War Champions and thus rename our Beloved Swamp in their image! --
Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of Induced Imagery

Talon Dark Hart and the Rest of the Usual Gang of Idiots -- This is what we have all
been waiting for these past few months!  Enjoy!  It will be Better than Expected! --
Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of Inspired Idiosyncrasies

Humbug -- You are the epitome of frugal, all that experience/recognition difference
and you only teach me one skill, you have to squished to give up a drop of pity.
Bah! yourself sir.  Another thing, Sentinel isn't as bad as they saaa...uh yeah,
maybe he is. -- Little Big Man

Humbug -- We be layin' stake to this here piece of land, now git along little doggy.
-- White Settler

Steel Shank -- Berserker fury is our national drink. -- White Settler

Baphomet -- Pretty sure I've done this but just in case, Natural B. Killers will be
fighting for the VC in the Turf War. -- Maximillian

Wasby the great -- I'm waiting to plant a fourth member of your team, if you keep
making foolish challenges, you will expedite my wish. -- Maximillian

Swamp Lilly Hammer -- I told my manager not to blind challenge but does he listen,
noooo. -- Hitler Youth

Minor Blue -- Big brother's watching you. -- Clintonlikesbush

Crister Moffee -- Man, I was in such a fury there I didn't even recognize you, bud.
-- LBM

Company of Brothers Alliance -- As I said, I am delivering my services to your cause.
My team here will help annihilate the competition. -- Suicide

Asmo Dius -- I sent word to you, but out of nowhere it returns to me, so that is
something to look into. -- Suicide

All -- I am here, so let the games begin. -- Suicide

21 May 2005
Amendment for "Fratsfa's Quest for the Best!"
     Managers that have teams already established in Fratsfa need not have (3) three
warriors in the initiates.  FE will NOT be a factor.  Stables may be entered at any
time.  Just announce your stable in the p-ads.
     This in my invitation to all managers  who wish to prove their mettle against
managers from all over Alastari.  We have limited TP's in this contest to one a team
at a time.  We DO NOT want this contest to become a scum fest as many others have,
hence the Andorian arena.  Good luck to all who come to prove their skills.  "May
your enemies' blood flow freely" -- Dark Knight Toker, Desolate Empire Alliance

7 June 2005
I am in the process of moving house, and spotlight writing for the next two months
will be very hit-and-miss. -- the Scribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CHARLES MANSON was dealt death by CARDIAC CRAIG in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MONICA HUMIDOR was butchered by MURDEROUS MARK in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
SCUM was easily killed by MR. COFFEE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena match.
TOO HAPPY FOR ME was slaughtered by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DA was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
F was assassinated by THE BARTENDER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
SCORCH was dealt death by THE BARTENDER in a popular 3 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
STRIKER'S MOFO was narrowly killed by MURDEROUS MARK in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
ORC was assassinated by MURDEROUS MARK in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
SCUM EATER was dispatched by CARDIAC CRAIG in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
ANTON LEVAY vanquished DEAD ANGLE in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud fight.
TARZAN was vanquished by STEAL SHANK in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
THE KURGEN was narrowly defeated by SWAMP TRAP HAMMER in a 6 minute Bloodfeud melee.
BRUTE was demolished by INCUBUS in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
OSLOBEN BENBOBEN bested SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge battle.
ACE METRIC viciously subdued JABBERWOCK in a 2 minute master's Challenge bout.
KRAMER vanquished GREGOLA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SARA F. vanquished FIGHTING TREE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
JENNA was bested by BOMBADIL in a exciting 5 minute brutal veteran's Challenge brawl.
AHURA MAZDA was beaten by JACK MCFARLAND in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
WOODY beat LITTLE BIG MAN in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
GANGSTA CREEP was overcome by SWAMP LILY HAMMER in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
BLOOD RAYNE defeated BODAK in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
APPIUS demolished CRISTER MOFFEE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
DROPSHOT was vanquished by GENESIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
DAINTY CHINA was overpowered by CYANIDE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
JACK & JILL luckily beat HALLE BEARY in a exciting 5 minute gory Challenge duel.
GET THE POINT? won victory over RICHARD CRANIUM in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
ROBUST BREW was vanquished by FRED BEAR in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
CAPPUCCINO was overcome by SWAMP CLAW HAMMER in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
AMALRIC was viciously butchered by EVICSERATOR in a 3 minute brutal Challenge duel.
SWAMP ROSE HAMMER defeated DIPTHERIA in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
HANTA slimly lost to TSO TSUNG T'ANG in a 4 minute gory Challenge fray.
ETIENNE DUPLAIX was overpowered by EBOLA (Z) in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
KENTSUI FURY was overpowered by SUZANNE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SHORTEST STRAW savagely defeated TARGET in a exciting 2 minute bloody Challenge fray.
SIR PRIZE was viciously butchered by LOWELL in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge fight.
HITLER YOUTH bested CUP OF TOE in a action packed 5 minute Challenge bout.
BLACKENED defeated LADY SCALE in a 1 minute novice's Challenge match.
SON YUNG MOON handily defeated BROCK SAMPSON in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
DAVID KARESH overpowered VASH THE STAMPEDE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
SHADE'S FORM handily defeated FETAL CREEPY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
MUSTAFA won victory over CHARLOTTE in a 1 minute novice's Challenge match.
OUT TO KILL was luckily beaten by BULLSEYE in a 12 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
STELLA unbelievably bested JUSTICE FOR ALL in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
ETHER was dealt death by OBLIVION in a 2 minute gruesome amateur's Challenge match.
MISS DE MEANOR was easily killed by BENDER in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge match.
HOLLE' CHERRY outlasted FREMAN in a slow 15 minute Challenge battle.
CARLOTTA viciously subdued SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a popular 1 minute Challenge bout.
AXELROD GUNNER savagely defeated BLACK BALL in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
MR. CROWLEY was demolished by LIL BIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
ICHORID demolished HUGH G. GO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
HOURGLASS overpowered VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute mismatched Title conflict.
MARAJUANA MAN was handily defeated by KALYPSO in a 2 minute mismatched match.
TOTO savagely defeated LAST CALL in a 2 minute gory master's battle.
KILLING JOKE viciously subdued ART PENDRAGON in a 1 minute veteran's match.
PROHIBITION overpowered AMELA BUNDERSON in a 1 minute uneven bout.
WHITE SETTLER was devastated by BEAR NEKKID in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN devastated THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
SIR GALAHAD was narrowly defeated by SISTER MARY SARAH in a 23 minute veteran's match.
LEET STREEGLE demolished MELON MUSH in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
CLINTONLIKESBUSH viciously subdued ZOMBIE KNIGHT in a 3 minute bloody bout.
FREEZE DRIED luckily beat HUMBUG in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brutal bout.
SWEET N LOW lost to ARAUTHATOR in a 2 minute duel.
CURSESHOCK was savagely defeated by PAUL BEARER in a popular 2 minute gory fight.
DASTER MARQUE slimly lost to LADY ARCANE in a 1 minute duel.
WOZZECK overpowered SISTER MARY CLARENCE in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
TARANTELLA vanquished FAUST in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MORWHEN bested CAFE AU LAIT in a exciting 1 minute beginner vs. master upset match.
CYRUS THE GREAT overpowered SEALAB DEBBIE in a 1 minute gory one-sided match.
WILSON slew ONE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
DON KING lost to SISTER SLEDGE in a exciting 2 minute bloody struggle.
VALAMARADACE was subdued by BONDS ON 'ROIDS in a 1 minute match.
BLACK THUNDER won victory over DYERS EVE in a 3 minute brawl.
DAMIEN BANESON demolished CLAUGIYLIAMATAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
FEL STRIKE was viciously subdued by CONSTANTINE in a 2 minute bloody novice's melee.
ROWAN won victory over JACK DER RIERRE in a 2 minute beginner's match.
DEMONIC HEX defeated TNT in a 2 minute brutal amateur's bout.
JAIDEN handily defeated JUDGE in a 1 minute brutal uneven conflict.
MEDEE outlasted LETHAL in a 7 minute novice's contest.
PHILP OF MACEDON slimly won victory over NIGHT TERROR in a 2 minute novice's match.
DARK HEART was savagely defeated by DAY DREAM in a exciting 5 minute novice's fray.
DRAMA QUEEN outlasted GLABREZU in a exciting 11 minute novice's contest.
NYCADAEMON overpowered MARBURG in a exciting 1 minute uneven duel.
DRACONIC was slaughtered by WOW in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided fray.
FREEBORN BLOODBLADE overpowered ANGELIKA in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
CAESAR bested FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST in a 2 minute novice's battle.
MR. REE defeated RAZOR in a action packed 1 minute amateur's fight.
BEAR SKINRUG overpowered KILLER in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
HOMEY D. CLONE viciously subdued SPACE GHOST in a tiresome 7 minute amateur's fight.
RACECAR was bested by HAMATULA in a 1 minute melee.
NALFESHNEE was assassinated by GRADE TEN in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
PAZUZU beat DANTILLIUS in a 1 minute fight.
BARBAZU unbelievably bested MAN HUNTER in a crowd boring 6 minute novice's struggle.
SPECTRE devastated DETARTRATED in a action packed 1 minute uneven duel.
JEALOUSY RAINS was handily defeated by PARTY TRAP in a 1 minute one-sided match.
UNLEASH lost to DEADLY in a 3 minute beginner's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 42         WALL OF STEEL     60 -  44 -  4      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  31         AIMED BLOW        54 -  47 -  2      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     25         TOTAL PARRY       93 -  83 -  2      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  24         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  13 -  1      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 17         LUNGING ATTACK    88 -  90 - 10      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   16         SLASHING ATTACK   74 -  77 -  7      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         STRIKING ATTACK  112 - 143 - 11      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  25 -  2      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         BASHING ATTACK    62 - 107 -  5      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-STRIKE      15 -  30 -  1      33  |

Turn 225 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL     11 -  5     LUNGING ATTACK    14 - 17         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY       17 -  8     STRIKING ATTACK   18 - 24         3  WALL OF STEEL  
AIMED BLOW         8 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    6 - 11         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     6 - 18         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    HOURGLASS 5127             18   2  0  123 LAND OF OZ (217)
AIMED BLOW       KRAMER 5191                10   5  0  108 SECOND BANANAS (573)
SLASHING ATTACK  ACE METRIC 3554             8   4  0  103 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
TOTAL PARRY      GREGOLA 5101               21  14  0   99 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
LUNGING ATTACK   KILLING JOKE 5611          14   9  1   85 INDIFFERENCE (611)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    BEAR NEKKID 5126           12   8  0   66 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
BASHING ATTACK   FIGHTING TREE 5235          9   8  1   66 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441      6   0  0   49 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was HALLE BEARY 5312.  The ten other most popular fighters were CUP OF TOE 5433, 
DREAM 5417, GLABREZU 5512, SCORCH 5602, and JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534.

The least popular fighter this week was SISTER MARY SARAH 5137.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SIR GALAHAD 5148, HOLLE' CHERRY 5437, FREMAN 5376, BULLSEYE 
5646, and MAN HUNTER 5000.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:



Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis!  
Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005.  It will be 
at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  The rooms 
are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! 
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  See you there!

Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe!
Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 
1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's 
reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your 
reservation soon before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and
several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all 
looking forward to it and that we will see you there!