Date   : 08/09/2005    Duedate: 09/05/2005


DM-47    TURN-227

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-3603) [21-15-0,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ACE METRIC                     TARANTELLA
ROYAL FLUSH (48)               LOST SOULS (618)
(47-3554) [10-4-0,131]         (47-5687) [4-1-1,66]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

AHURA MAZDA                    GRADE TEN
(47-5152) [9-10-1,65]          (47-5638) [1-2-1,6]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LOST SOULS (618)            57
2. DARK PINNACLE (598)         55      MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
3. CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)        50      Unchartered Team
4. OLD HABITS (566)            49
5. FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)       47      THINGS I DROOL IN (614)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)    4   1  1 80.0   1/ 2*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)  11  4 0
 2/ 1*THE MARAUDERS (619)        7   3  0 70.0   2/ 1 SECOND BANANAS (573)     10  4 2
 3/ 3*AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      13   6  0 68.4   3/ 5*LOST SOULS (618)          9  6 1
 4/ 4*LOST SOULS (618)          16   8  3 66.7   4/ 9 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          9  6 1
 5/ 7*ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   25  15  3 62.5   5/ 4 SKELETON KEY (493)        9  6 1
 6/ 5 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   266 163 21 62.0   6/11 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  6 0
 7/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)         446 291 14 60.5   7/ 8*AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      8  1 0
 8/ 8*THE OPERA (613)           12   8  2 60.0   8/16 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     8  7 1
 9/ 2*MAYFAIR (607)              9   6  0 60.0   9/12*PALINDROMES (599)         8  7 1
10/10 OLD HABITS (566)          31  22  2 58.5  10/ 3 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      8  7 0
11/11*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     14  10  0 58.3  11/20*LEADERS (593)             8  7 0
12/12 SECOND BANANAS (573)      53  39  6 57.6  12/22*THE MARAUDERS (619)       7  3 0
13/15 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         591 467 31 55.9  13/30 DARQUE FORCES (396)       7  6 1
14/16 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     34  27  5 55.7  14/31*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     7  7 0
15/24*LEADERS (593)             19  16  1 54.3  15/18 DARK PINNACLE (598)       7  8 1
16/18 COFFEE RULES! (505)      137 117  5 53.9  16/19*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     7  8 0
17/14 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  36  31  4 53.7  17/ 6 COFFEE RULES! (505)       7  8 0
18/ 9*PALINDROMES (599)          8   7  1 53.3  18/35 OLD HABITS (566)          6  4 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      99  87  5 53.2  19/27*MAYFAIR (607)             6  4 0
20/19 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     315 284 30 52.6  20/32 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   6  6 0
21/20 SKELETON KEY (493)        94  87  4 51.9  21/28*BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)    6  6 0
22/22 MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)   41  39  2 51.3  22/13*THE OPERA (613)           6  6 0
23/21 DARQUE FORCES (396)       91  87  6 51.1  23/10 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      6  7 0
24-23*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     19  19  1 50.0  24/15 BLACK STORM (171)         6  9 1
25/13*BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)     6   6  0 50.0  25/ 7 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  6  9 0
26/25 FREEDONIA (32)           144 150 15 49.0  26-23 INDIFFERENCE (611)        5  3 1
27/26 BLACK STORM (171)         76  82  9 48.1  27/25 MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    5  8 0
28/33*CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      15  17  2 46.9  28/24*SALEM'S LOT (605)         5  8 0
29/27*SALEM'S LOT (605)         12  14  2 46.2  29/26*BLEAK LEGION (601)        5  9 2
30-29 INDIFFERENCE (611)        71  83  5 46.1  30/14 SOULFORGE (587)           5  9 0
31/30 MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    21  26  0 44.7  31/17*FALLEN (590)              5 10 0
32/32 DARK PINNACLE (598)       25  31  4 44.6  32/21*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      5 10 0
33/28*DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      17  22  2 43.6  33/34*MISNOMERS (608)           5 10 0
34/31*GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     16  21  1 43.2  34/ 0*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   4  1 1
35/34 TREBORS (232)             80 116  8 40.8  35/33 FREEDONIA (32)            4 11 0
36/36 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     40  58  3 40.8  36/38 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     3  2 0
37/35*FALLEN (590)              13  20  2 39.4  37/42*CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      3  3 0
38-38*ADULT SWIM (589)          13  22  1 37.1  38/41 DRACONIC REALM (519)      3 12 0
39/37 SOULFORGE (587)           17  31  2 35.4  39/37*CODE RED (547)            3 12 0
40/40*BLEAK LEGION (601)         8  15  2 34.8  40-29*THE RIPPER CREW (489)     2  1 0
41/39 DRACONIC REALM (519)      14  27  0 34.1  41-39*THE DREAMING (591)        2  3 0
42/41*MISNOMERS (608)            8  17  0 32.0  42/40 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    2  6 0
43-43*THE DREAMING (591)         6  19  1 24.0  43-36*ADULT SWIM (589)          1  4 1
44/42*CODE RED (547)             3  12  0 20.0  44/43 TREBORS (232)             0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                              Heather Cafi, A Spotlight
                          The CONSORTIUM WASTE (reprinted)

Not everything in DM needs to be defined by the parameters and expectations of
today's game--godlings, sandbaggers, tournaments, life-changing prizes, +20 warriors,
etc, etc.  Many yet thrive on arena play, and for many years The Consortium was a
presence in 30+ active arenas.  The record of over 400 warriors graduated is not
likely to be bested in our DM lifetimes.

You may know of The Consortium for one or many reasons:
*  A different manager and theme in every arena with many personals, DM columns, and
*  Helping many rookies and newcomers to understand and prosper in the game.
*  Running every rollup, with virtually no DM action.
*  20+ arenas with .600+ W/L record, many with 500+ wins, and some nearing 1000.
*  No down challenging, little killing, and great respect for opponents.
*  Well known managers like:  Pretty Pandora, Crazy Creepster, Fandil The Wise,
   Kennelworth, Ace, Senator Bob Dole, Mr. T, Lenpro, Mino, JD Rockefeller, Snuffy,
   Oz, Sweetie-Pie, Midas, Uncle Sam, Oremaster, and many more.
*  400+ warriors graduated to ADM, with over 30,000 wins in the game

One major factor in all the success was the running of mid-level, mediocre warriors,
the most important of which was "The Consortium Waste".  How would you like to have 9
warriors (these are only examples of many more) provide a record of 175-48-2?  No,
not "scum" as by far the majority of wins were by doing damage.  These same nine
below provided 16 DM crowns, 4 TVs, and a 98-73-1 tournament record.  The
contributions are from DM 20 (Animal Farm--Mino), DM 40 (Demons Of Death--Pretty
Pandora), DM46 (Fandils--Fandil The Wise), DM47 (Land Of Oz--Oz), and DM60 (The Crazy

The data provided is "known starting info" supplemented by "graduation info".

WINGED MONKEY (47-1773) 11-14-9-15-17-5-13 WS          18- 2-0 record
Good endure; normal dmg; +3 att/-1 par; 2TV            22-12-0 tourney
Great axe/mod/low

SHAHAG (46-1556) 11-14-11-15-17-5-11 WS                18- 2-0 record
Good endure; good dmg; mode; 4DM crowns; 1TV           27-14-2 tourney
Scimitar/Low/Very low

AMBER APE (20-2735)   11-15-10-17-15-4-12 WS           20- 4-0 record
Good endure; good dmg; +4 att/-3 par; 4 DM crowns       2- 3-0 tourney
Battle axe/high/low

WINKIE (47-3210) 11-14-14-14-15-4-12 WS                17- 3-0 record
Good endure; great dmg (+); mode; 1TV                  16- 7-1 tourney
Greatsword/very high/very low

SAINT LUCIFER (60-2194) 16-15-5-17-15-5-11 WS          20- 5-0 record
Good endure; normal dmg; +3att;                        11- 9-0 tourney

HEATHER HIPPO (20-3229) 11-13-14-15-15-5-11 WS         17- 5-0 record
Normal endure; good dmg; -2 att/+4 par; 4 DM crowns     2- 6-0 tourney
Morning star/mod/very low

GREY GRIFFON (20-1653) 11-13-12-15-15-5-13- WS         25- 9-0 record
Normal endure; great dmg (+); mode                     11-12-0 tourney
Broad sword/high/very low

AVARICE (40-2675) 11-13-15-16-15-4-10 WS               18-8-0 record
Good endure; tremendous dmg (++); -1 att/-2 par; 2DM crowns     4-6-0 tourney

CHOCOLATE CRAB (20-1755) 11-12-14-14-15-5-13 WS        22-10-2 record
Normal endure; good dmg; mode; 2 DM crowns              3- 6-0 tourney
Great axe/mod/low

These warriors and their managers made a very great contribution to making The
Consortium what it was and is.
     As a final note, great warriors can be made with 5-9 WL warriors--the opposite
of The Consortium Waste.  Perhaps that makes for another day's presentation.
     P.S.   By the way, for those of you who think that this type of design is a
"thing of the past", please observe "Hourglass" in DM47 running this very moment (10-
12-04) with an 18-2 record.  The Consortium Waste is invaluable and timeless.

Brought to you by the many Consortium managers and scribes.

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                                  Swamp Scribbling
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     A Personal Note from Hammer to His Friends and Friendly Foes:
     At the present time Hammer is hard pressed to cull his creative energies to
write entertaining P-ads and more importantly his famous Spotlights that touch the
hearts and minds of those who take the time to feed upon the missives of Hammer the
WordSmith in the various newsletters where Hammer currently has active stables
running on team maintenance throughout the sands of Alastari.
     Without going into great detail, suffice it to say that Hammer has encountered a
great trial of patient waiting these past weeks as his former employer has refused to
release payment of his final salary in the aftermath of his resignation and some
other developments in the final month of his employment.
     Furthermore, until the proper paperwork is signed and filed, Hammer is unable to
freely leave the State of Qatar to fly back home to the United States to visit with
friends and family for the coming holiday seasons.
     Having been subjected to turning his passport over to his employers twice in the
past year to file paperwork and then not receiving his passport until five months and
then five weeks had passed respectively; Hammer is understandably reluctant to
release this important identity document to the administrators of his former
employment yet another time for yet another purpose.
     Meanwhile, Hammer is teaching English to local Qatar nationals and other English
students from a variety of countries; patiently awaiting the return from summer
vacation of a former student who serves with the police department, who told Hammer
that should ever the need arise for his help in any matter that Hammer was not to
hesitate to ask.
     Rest assured that everything will work out to benefit the patience of Hammer
when God decrees that it be time for Hammer to return to the shores of the good old
US of A to fellowship with friends and family who have not been seen in recent years
     Weep not for Hammer in this hour, but rest assured that all is well and Hammer
is content with the hand that has been dealt him.
     Perhaps a creative surge will spring forth from something inspired within Hammer
as he reads the fight results, P-ads and Spotlights that appear in this very issue of
our favorite Swamp newsletter.
     Just Remember My Friends and Friendly Foes that the Best is Yet to Be!

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                                 Turf War IV Updates
                                      Turn 226
                                      Round Two

     Well folks, looks like this here Turf War is gonna be a real hoot!  We've
currently got 7 alliances and 40 individual managers.  Now, doesn't that just make ya
wanna stand up and holler?!
     Now, there seems to be an understanding that these here folks are here 'cause I
done something.  Well, that pretty much ain't the case.  Kudos go out to all the
Alliance Captains for getting their folks here, and to Oz, Tripwire, Bookie (TDH),
Az, P, Master Darque, and all the other folks who pumped up the Turf War on the
Forums.  Oh, and before I forget, Hammer, for his ads in other arenas.  (Don't want
to forget, my buddy!)  So, fellas, from me to you, thanks for your efforts.
     Again, a special thanks to Tripwire for posting the early returns on the forums.
Folks, in case you don't know, we have a forum all our own labeled "Turf War" and you
can generally find someone there who can fill you in on what's going on.
Unfortunately, I'm a silent bystander, but I get to see what's going on!
     Okay, only question this month was from Buddy Lee in regards to points.
Brother, if you challenge, or if you are challenged and lose the fight, as long as
you ain't killed, it's minus two points either way.
     So, let me get on with the scores.  I've sent these to Azraelus Prime to post on
the forums, so if they get there early, give him the thanks for it.

*VENDETTA CARTEL/Kat, Cpt.                      (TTL), (LT)  D V CERT?
  Kat/The Bear's Paw/Paul Bearer                ( 87), (36)
  Street Legal/Life's Lessons/Homey D. Clone    ( 38), (19)  y y  y
  Master Darque/Darque Forces/Orc Plague        ( 42), (16)  y y  y
  Maximillian/Natural B. Killers                (  2), (-3)  y y  y
  Sensei Jan/Salem's Lot                        (  3), ( 3)  y y  y
  Fizban/Managerial Mayhem                      (  0), ( 0), y y  n

*ILLUMINATI/Talon Darkhart, Cpt.                ( 75), (34)
  Talon Darkhart/Adult Swim/Bender              ( 14), ( 5)  y y  y
  Sir Chester/Draconic Realm/Arauthator         (-17),(-12)  y y  y
  Azraelus Prime/Fallen Lil Bit                 ( -8),(-16)  y y  y
  P-Diddy/The Dreaming/Dead Angle               ( -5), ( 0)  y y  y
  Assurnasirbanipal/Palindromes                 ( 16), (12)  y y  y
  Noachin/The Ripper Crew                       (  3), ( 0)  y y  y
  Hammer/All-Swamp Hammerz/Swamp Lily Hammer    ( 33), (14)  y y  y
  Asmo Dius/Baatanar'Ritezu/Pazuzu              (  6), ( 3)  y y  y
  Baphomet/Knights Templar                      (  5), (16)  y y  y
  Liam the Goth/Gothic Ministry/Incubus         (  0), (-7)  y y  y
  Buddy Lee/Dark Pinnacle/Steal Shank           ( 28), (19)  y y  y
  Pharoah/Celestial Knights                     (  0), ( 0)  y y  y
  Suiside/Code Red/Judge                        (  0), ( 0)  y n  y

*SCOMS TOWER/Slugbait, Cpt.                     ( 71), (34)
  Slugbait/Mystic Orc Feast                     (  2), ( 5)  y y  y
  Crip/Royal Flush                              ( 13), ( 3)  y y  y
  Oz/Land of Oz                                 ( 22), (16)  y y  y
  Mannequin/Second Bananas/Wilson               ( 31), ( 8)  y y  y
  Father O'Malley/Old Habits                    (  3), ( 2)  y y  y

*THE IRON COUNCIL/Tripwire, Cpt                 ( 30), (19)
  Tripwire/Of Wolf and Man                      ( 12), ( 6)  y y  y
  Jekyll/Indifference                           ( 18), (13)  y y  y
  Ultraist/Wolfcats                             (  0), ( 0)  y y  y

*X-SYNDICATE/Impresario, Cpt                    ( 11), ( 5)
  Impresario/The Opera                          (  1), ( 0)  y y  y
  Raven/Lost Souls/Tarentella                   ( -3), (-6)  y y  y
  The Historian/Age of Empires/Cyrus the Great  (  4), ( 0)  y y  y
  Chaotix/Chaotix Beasts                        ( -2), ( 0)  y y  y
  Murker/The Marauders                          ( 11), (11)  y y  y

*DESOLATE EMPIRES/Abraxis, Cpt.                 (  7), (13)
  Abraxis/Leaders/Mr. Crowley                   (  5), ( 0)  y y  y
  Goat/Desolate Ones                            (  0), ( 0)  y y  y
  Toker/Maestus Mortales/Gangsta Creep          ( -7), (-2)  y y  y
  Wasby the Great/Soulforge                     ( -1), ( 4)  y y  y
  Dok Sik/Dok Sik killas/Hanta                  (  3), ( 4)  y y  y
  Skullagrim/Skeleton Key                       (  7), ( 7)  y y  y
  Lasher/Mayfair                                (  0), ( 0)  y y  y

*T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C./Mr. Coffee, Cpt               (-52),(-15)
  Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules!/Freeze Dried         (  8), (13)  y y  y
  Heathen/Misnomers                            ( -7), ( 0)  y y  y
  Snarky/Freedonia/The Kurgen                   (-45),(-23)  y y  y
  Blackstorm/Black Storm/Zombie Knight          ( -5), (-5)  y y  y

     Well folks, there you have it.  You might not like it, but it is what it is.
So, that's it for this turn.  Just remember, ain't none of it personal, it's just

Baphomet, host of TW4
TCB alliance
Illuminati Confederation of Alliances/Illuminati War Beast

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                                ** Heathen's Cafe **

     Recently, I heard one of the newer managers state something about Damage Ratings
helping a warrior break through parries, dodges, etc.  Does anyone know anything
about this?  It's the first time I've ever heard it, and it don't sound right to me.
The way I understand it, modifiers for skills from faves, favourite weapon/tactic and
Luck Factor may add or penalize skill areas, but I never heard tell of Damage Rating
doing this!  Can you enlighten me?

Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar

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                                Angelika and Axelrod

    Axelrod Gunner looked down the alley at the Dark Knight who had imbibed just a
tad too much of elven ale that had continually been served to him from a certain
"lady" all night.  He barely contained a laugh.  The laxative agent that had been
applied would give him a rough night tonight.  He turned around and started to the
other end of the alley to meet with his beloved Angelika; why such a beautiful woman
loved such an ugly brute as he was something he couldn't comprehend, but he
appreciated the sentiment.
      "Are you ready?", she asked as he approached.  "Tonight's mission is very
important.  Aside from embarrassing Clowns, that is.  The Prime One wants some very
discreet dealings taken care of before he returns and he doesn't want Jealousy aware
of what is going on.  So we have to hurry and get done before she realizes that we're
are out on a pre-fight night."  She started walking down the street, her fancloth
cloak faded in and out to match the things beyond it, making it appear as if her head
was floating in mid-air from his view.
     He shook his head.  He was of the same mind as Jealousy concerning the High Lord
these days.  Something was wrong with him.  But Angelika all but worshipped the
ground that Lord High Commander Azrael walked on.  He had saved her from a rape-gang
in Rodeki and then taught her how to defend herself.  She thought he was the Light
incarnate.  He thought Azrael had gone off his rocker.  And if Angelika wanted to
follow the High Lord's command blindly, he would go along to keep her as safe as he
     He began to watch more closely as they neared their destination and he eased his
war hammer in its loop on his belt.  He saw the building they were headed for and
then he saw the man they had come to meet.  Angelika gave the signal she had been
instructed to give and the man returned it.  He opened the side door and they all
slipped inside.  Axelrod nerves were about to go into overdrive.  "The belly of the
beast is where we are," he thought as the door to the Desolate Empire guildhouse
swung shut.

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                                  SWAMP SCRIBBLING
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     An unusually eerie mist was rising from the fetid marshes of the North Fork
swampland as the blood red sun rose once again upon the denizens of the dank.
     The fate of an early riser was unceremoniously sealed as curiosity drew the
unsuspecting one near to a disheveled figure that lay prone upon a charred plank of a
once proud warrior vessel.
     Prone does not necessarily mean unguarded as the swamp echoed the cries of a
slashed throat as a deadly scimitar swipe met its mark amid the early morning mists.
     "Oh! That felt good!"
     Soon the unsuspecting swamplanders would shiver at the discovery that The Red
Haired Infidel had unceremoniously landed upon the shores of their beloved swamp!

***** To Whom It May Concern:  Upon the premise that last cycle's spotlight finally
landed in the pages of this cycle's newsletter, be it known that Hammer is busy at
work while awaiting a resolution to his paperwork dilemma.  Be it further
acknowledged that a few lines of inspired prose fares much better than no lines of
any kind of prose.  Hopefully there will be more to write and report next cycle for
all my friends and friendly foes in the swamp to peruse!

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                                 Klown War Kronicles

     It is I, Boca Mierda yet again, and I want to thank all my loyal public for
making my job easy.  There were many rumors this week as there always are, but I want
to address a point of concern that I along with the manager Expatriate of Bleak
Legion share....
     I also feel that things have stooped to an all time low in the p-ads and
spotlights of late.  With all the sexual comments and innuendoes that have been
filling the p-ads and spotlights, the Expatriate has the right of it.  I support the
truth of his words.  Fellas, can't we be constructive?  I won't say names, but we all
know who the ones involved are.  PLEASE grow up!
     I give kudos to Bleak Legion's manager for saying the truth no matter the
retaliation that he knew would follow.  Everyone should support him for telling the
honest truth.  So for now, this is my last printing of the Klown War Kronicles.  I
too feel that it has a derogatory effect on the arena when I write this column.  I
meant it to be totally on the joke side of things and to make people see how stupid
some things make people look.  I don't know if it was working, but if it didn't, I
hope this does.  People have become so vengeful, hateful and totally disrespectful
lately.  Myself included!  So, as I said before, this will be the last article I
write for a long while.  Unless people don't grow up, then I'll just start making fun
of them again.  Let's see the type of atmosphere that North Fork is famed for.  Have
fun and enjoy.  It's what the game is about, isn't it?

                      Signing off,
                           Boca Mierda

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     Sir Chester entered the arena where the people had gathered to see gladiators
duel and be victorious or be killed.  Sir Chester raised his arms and the crowd
became quiet to listen to what the pud manager had to say.
     Sir Chester began to speak.  "Ladies and Orcs give me your ear for just a minute
if you will.  I and my stable have come here to be involved in this mighty TW4 and
thus far we have managed to have a 9-1-0 record!!!  Things look pretty grim...grim
indeed, but...things are about to get better for the stable I have.  It seems that
two new gladiators have come for a job.  I'll take these two puds who do normal
damage and kick the living daylights out of these other so-called gladiators.  Just
wait and see if it's not true what I'm telling you."
     Sir Chester walked away seeking out another manager who had had his fair share
of bad luck.  Suiside, Sir Chester was looking for.  Code Red was seen at the
watering hole...where Suiside had his face stuck in a big mug of the finest wine
around.  Sir Chester looked twice at the manager of Code Red and noticed he had been
crying...crying a river in fact!
     Sir Chester asked, "What's the problem, pal?"
     Suiside responded.  "What's it to you; looks like we have the same
     Sir Chester busted out in laughter and spoke.  "Nothing new for you ol' boy--
don't worry, things are about to get better."
     The two managers noticed at the other end of the watering hole Baphomet sitting
my himself looking depressed and drunk.  The two managers walked to stand beside
Baphomet and as Baphomet looked up, looked up with a shit eating grin on his old
mug...old beyond his years.  Baphomet stated, "How you boys doing...not too good on
the sands, I see!!!"
     Baphomet began to laugh like a madman and continued drunkenly speaking, "Heck,
if you boys keep coming up short and keep sending gladiators to the dark arena...you
might as well go back to Noblish Island and start all over again!"
     Both Sir Chester and Suiside were blood red from embarrassment and things were
about to get ugly...the two managers walked off and waited outside to get some fresh
air...like there was any to be found in this city!
     Sir Chester finally spoke, "Well, thanks be to the gods and our alliance mates.
If it weren't for them we'd be dead last place in this war!"
     "Who gives a rat's anyway?" Suiside responded.
     "For the sake of the gods...act as if you do care.  Managers will have your ears
cut off for speaking in such a tone!" Sir Chester retorted.
     "Whatever, I'm off for the night...see you in a few days!!!" were Suiside's last
words of the night.
     "Take 'er easy fella...and quit drowning your sorrows in the wines of your
favorite inn...see you around," Sir Chester spoke for the last time.
     Both managers walked their way home, searching for answers for their poor
managing for the last two months--Suiside in a depression and Sir Chester about to
Dark Arena every last gladiator in his stable!
     Baphomet in the meantime was enjoying his victory of a 4-1-0 turn and boy was he
gloating!  By the way...the writer of this knows the cost of misspelling manager's
names...so be it!
     Sir Chester thought to himself, "I now have to fight for my stable and I only
hope that they bring my stable some honor, gods know the other three are not living
up to their tough talk, we will see what the future holds for us and everyone around

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     The managers of the Illuminati sat at the huge dining table of the penthouse
inside the Lizard Tail's Inn.
     "What is this big announcement?" Asmo asked and everyone just shrugged.
     The double doors flew open and sulfuric smoke poured in.
     Some of the new managers jumped up or leaned away while the veterans just shook
their heads as the cloaked figure of Suicide strode in.
     "So why this meeting?" Asmo asked.
     "I have a proposition," Suicide said, as he waved his left hand and the two
double doors shut.  He walked to the head of the table.  "I foresee a goal, each one
of you could fulfill that goal." He looked at each manager.
     "Asmo, Talon Darkhart, Baphomet, Sir Chester and myself all put input to help
others in our cause and the new people who have joined us could likewise with
     "This is old news," Baphomet voiced.
     "I am looking to divide and control the opposition with one huge goal, total
     "And how will you do this?" Buddy Lee asked.
     Suicide pulled down a map of SCOMSS Swamp.  "Think of this place smelling as
fresh as brimstone.  All those souls could be ours, the O.D.N. or One Demon Nation."
     The managers looked at each other as Suicide went on.  "Think about it.  We will
demolish the opposition and destroy their hope of even thinking of being victor of
this contest, and devastate their dreams of leaving unscathed.  We will turn this
arena into one hellacious crematory with the freshment of burning corpses.  It'll be
so sweet."
     Liam the Goth stood up.  "Can it really be done?"
     "One demon to another, either you're with us or get consumed by the flames.  We
will not surrender.  We will not take pleading nor give the injured mercy.  We will
attack, attack, attack."
     He strode back to the doors and at a wave of his left hand the double doors
opened.  "Let me know your answers and let our opponents feel the total destructive
hand of a demon and let us feast on their rotten souls."
     He walked out and the doors closed behind him.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Abraxis sat chatting with the imp that was bound to him.  "Little fellow, I
think I will call you Ash in honor of another who will soon be subservient to me."
     Abraxis, then held out some dark brown rectangles with strange markings on them.
They were very thick and smelled of the cocoa plant.  "Take these to the kitchens of
Maximillian.  When his cooks use them the consequences will be quite dire."
     Ash grabbed the six bits and disappeared in a cloud of brimstone and fire.  The
chamber filled with the Druid's laughter.
     Abraxis sat in his study admitting the painting that was hanging over his
fireplace.  It had been sent to him by his brother Nostradomus and was a full frontal
rendering of Maximillian wearing a blue frilly gown.  The laughter just would not
     Ash appeared in the kitchens at Max's and like his namesake, being not very
bright, he simply dumped the bits into Maximillian's teapot before porting away.
     Shortly thereafter Maximillian had his daily cup of tea before his afternoon
walk.  Max wondered as to the strange sweet taste in his cup.  He then vowed to have
a talk with his cook.
     Maximillian walked into town and no sooner did he arrive at the marketplace than
a strange cramping started in his belly.  Max grabbed his rear as he looked
frantically around, but alas, no privy, poor Maximillian!
     Ash returned to find Abraxis dozing in front of his fireplace.  He then curled
up in the fireplace where it was nice and warm to await his Master's bidding.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                   Heathen's Cafe

     Wee now we're making some progress--input from veterans, some disagreement and
healthy debate!  That's what the cafe is for folks.
     Thank you for sharing the memories, Snarky.  O'Lance sounds like a physical
specimen that even the scummy types avoided!  Though with that 8 wit I can see why he
met the end he did.  May he rest in peace.
     Would love to read the article on wastes, Oz, or anything else written by you
and the Consortium as I'm sure I could learn a great deal from your vast knowledge--
you know my address should you feel generous!
     Ok Buddy Lee, as to your assertions--nothing with a 17 wit is a scum anything!
Granted, if a waste (or any other style for that matter) were to get little damage,
then I'd consider DAing him though with my design he would have to be seriously hosed
to get that rating and would more than likely get good damage, especially after at
train of ST to 16, which wouldn't burn any skills.  Roughly 70% of my wastes and
blessed in damage, while only 5% or less have been hosed--in fact, I have a waste
right now with 15 ST/13 SZ who does Tremendous damage!  If you check your handy
damage chart this guy would have been lucky to get Great, let alone tremendous, and
yet many of my wastes get blessed in this way.
     Secondly, you said these damage ratings won't cut it in the higher brackets of
the game and I agree with that.  In regular arenas a waste with normal damage can get
by and be very successful, but consider this:  a 17 wit will learn three to four
skills a turn on average and wastes learn parry and attack first, so conceivably they
could max these two skill areas in 20-30 fights and you could train ST as much as you
need to for a damage rating.  Mannaz Throsson, who is currently in DM 106 is 17-11-1
(three of those losses came in Aruak City when he'd killed on his first turn and was
bloodfeuded by a warrior with 34 FE in the arena!) and looks like this:  16(1)-11(2)-
8-19(2)-19(2)-5-13 and he already maxed his parry and attack.  So once I train his
strength up I'll gain extra with no burn and probably get great damage.  Those in TW
II will remember Mannaz as he went 8-2 during the contest and represented as my
champion!  It's all in the development Buddy Lee and if you don't have the patience
to develop a great waste, then perhaps you should stick with lungers!  Thanks for
your input though; that's what I'm trying to promote.
     This week's question:  How important is a damage rating and what effect does it
have?  Can the use of a good favorite (SC or LO) and good attack skills make up for a
normal or even little damage rating?

                                             Heathen Hatebred

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              Musings of a Philosopher
                                 namdaM a fo sgnivaR
                                "From the Sidelines"

      And they're off!  The Turf War has started, and now the sheep shall be
separated from the wolves (or War Beast).  On second thought, War Sheep might be more
apt, but our good host seems to have redeemed himself in the war's second turn.).
You would think that after all the boasting the Desolate Empire did that they
would've at least posted a positive score.  TATIOAHC, you spilled the beans (Sorry,
couldn't help myself!)
     This will be a short one.  I'm hoping that they posted the ones I wrote for last
turn.  (That, and the voices in my head are fighting again.)

                                             The Expatriate

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              Musings of a Philosopher
                                 namdaM a fo sgnivaR
                                 By:  The Expatriate

     Hello there, it's me again, with my madam's take on life.  It seems that the
insults were a little quieter last turn, and the he said/she said was held to one
drunken druid.  I am still awaiting the fallout from my last ramble.  It should be
gracing the pages of this newsletter.  Am I being a little egotistical in thinking
that people will waste their time responding to what I wrote?  Maybe, but I believe
that some won't be able to stop themselves from responding.  They have to save face,
you understand.  (I wonder how many of my warriors died in challenges from angry
managers, but then again, I don't really care.)
     The Klown War Kronicles, fascinating.  Cute how this Boca Mierda replaced all of
his (her?) C's with K's.  I distinctly remember a manager in another arena
(Chimlevtal, I believe) who did the same thing.  Could it be that this Boca Mierda is
that self same manager in disguise who wants us to think it's a copycat?  (Great, now
my head hurts.)
     Whoever you are, you're nothing but a petty rumor monger.  Just another example
of the immature fools who are infecting this great game.  All you do is spew venom
and bite at those around you.  Why?  What was done to you that you feel the need to
belittle the other players?  I say get over it.  You need a better motivation than
     I used to write stories now and then for the entertainment of everyone in the
arena with me.  If I was going to use another's alias or warriors, I ASKED.  I even
gave them a heads' up on what I was going to do.  (Ain't I nice?)  I might be
persuaded to start writing a story for all of you, especially if someone (anyone)
asks me nicely (assuming I don't keel over dead from the shock of being shown that
common courtesy).
     As I end this I want to give you a parting shot, er, thought.  Never forget that
words are a weapon that hits as hard as any other.
                                             The Expatriate

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     I am Hourglass.  I am a two-time Duelmistress of SCOMSS Swamp, formerly North
Fork.  I'm honored to be the top warrior in such a prestigious arena.
     I am often asked, "What makes you such a winner?" or "Are you a godling?"  I
answer them all with a simple statement.  "I am a Consortium Waste".
     In a spotlight this week at Heathen's Cafi, you can read about me and others
like me.  In this column I will share with you the details of a complete "me".
     My natural 36-24-36 curves actually look like this:
There is not much out of the ordinary there and I am completely mode.  It sure took a
lot of gym and aerobics work to get my 36-24-36.  Yes, indeed!
     My key vitals are good endurance and good damage, both of which are pretty much
as you would expect.  With my hourglass figure, and my aerobic activity level, I am
"good" in close up situations of all types, if you know what I mean.  (wink)
     The commission decided that I was to be a
            War flail/moderate/low/parry/learn attack
But I had most success with the scimitar (10/68/13) and the great axe (31/166/15).  I
have never tried the whiffle.
     My results, as you know were very good, with a 19-2-0 arena and 2 DM crown
status, and a 60% record in my 38 tournament fights.  No TV's, I am sorry to say.
     I will fight in one more tournament as a Challenger, hoping for a 4 or 5 win
resultant in that very difficult class--especially for a waste.  And then I have one
more arena title fight before retirement along with the other 400+ Consortium Lord
     Actually, I will then pursue my dream of extensive travel, following that yellow
brick road all throughout the land.  It will be fun, and a whole lot safer!
     Meanwhile, good luck and godspeed to you all.  It has been an ultimate high in
North Fork.  And certainly--GO SCOMS TOWER!!!
               Hourglass, Duelmistress II

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly SCOMSS SWAMP games.  Former top team SECOND BANANAS 
was unseated this week as ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top 
spot with a 4-1-0 record for the round.  I have begun to suspect trickery on the part 
of DARQUE FORCES.  How else weeks like this one's 3-2-1?  How else the sudden move to 
13th team?  The proverbial rising comet can only hope to compare with OF WOLF AND 
MAN's team record!  A 3-2-0 week and now a firm grasp on a 14th place ranking.  
COFFEE RULES! bore the brunt of major assault on their standings this week as they 
dropped to 17th position as the result of going 3-2-0!  I have begun to suspect 
trickery on the part of OLD HABITS.  How else weeks like this one's 3-2-1?  How else 
the sudden move to 18th team?  The proverbial rising comet can only hope to compare 
with MANEGERIAL MAYHEM's team record!  A 3-1-0 week and now a firm grasp on a 20th 
place ranking.  My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder 
you fall.  This week LIFE'S LESSONS went 1-3-0 and fell 13 notches into 23rd!  
NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 bore the brunt of major assault on their standings this week as 
they dropped to 25th position as the result of going 1-4-0!  My tutors were fond of 
telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This week SOULFORGE went 
1-4-0 and fell 16 notches into 30th!  FALLEN bore the brunt of major assault on their 
standings this week as they dropped to 31st position as the result of going 2-3-0!  
My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This 
week DOK SIK KILLAS went 1-4-0 and fell 11 notches into 32nd!  Did only my eyes note 
the 4-1-0 record which LEADERS managed to post this round?  I don't doubt that such a 
record will draw challengers!  I could not but notice the fine record for THINGS I 
DROOL IN (4-1-1) after their first round of combat.  May the gods of war favor you in 
SCOMSS SWAMP!  SISTER MARY CLARENCE caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as she skillfully bested ZOMBIE KNIGHT and was awarded 26 points in 
recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, STEAL SHANK put down PAUL 
BEARER, causing him to lose 17 points of recognition in the process.  The city has 
turned out in honor of KALYPSO, for with hers arena victory she may now lay claim to 
the highest position in the city!  Informants "close" to the city champion have told 
me that he never fights without pantyhose on beneath his armor.  Watch out!   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In SCOMSS SWAMP "art" is a word that 
has long since passed from the language!  SCOMSS SWAMP, city of gladiators!  Mighty 
among the names of thy guilds is SOULFORGE, a guild shunned and avoided by many in 
the weekly duels.  Apparently the stalwarts of SOULFORGE are catching the bulk of 
jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  Mighty 
fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  EBOLA (Z) take warning!  
You have more than a few enemies in SCOMSS SWAMP.  As a gladiator gets older, the icy 
grip of fear lays hold of his heart.  True, ACE METRIC?  Who could miss your "brave" 
challenge of GREGOLA?  The weight of the challenge fell hard upon GREGOLA and 
predictably she was beat by ACE METRIC.  This is how to arouse the anger of an entire 
guild!  I cannot but express pride for the fearlessness of JABBERWOCK who cast 
caution to the winds and challenged KRAMER, a fighter 37 points higher.  1 points of 
newly earned recognition and a dose of my admiration is what JABBERWOCK must now 
weigh against the defeat which resulted.  Give FREEZE DRIED credit for hers courage.  
Did you note how she challenged ART PENDRAGON despite the 29 point difference in 
their rankings?  Truth to tell, FREEZE DRIED did not come out of the fight a winner, 
but she managed to capture much attention, gaining 2 in recognition.  BONDS ON 'ROIDS 
must really be harboring a grudge against the MAESTUS MORTALES guild!  Merciless, 17 
challenged down BLACK BALL points this week to duel with it.  Few would not have 
guessed the outcome of the bout as BLACK BALL lost to BONDS ON 'ROIDS.  Is this what 
passes for courage in SCOMSS SWAMP?  At the gambling halls I have started to bet 
money on OUT TO KILL.  She has got the courage it takes.  Witness hers challenge this 
turn against GENESIS!  The DARK PINNACLE stable will be up late tonight, for indeed 
it was OUT TO KILL who claimed victory in the contest, ascending 25 in recognition!   
     Vendettas.  Bloodied blades and broken spears.  Indeed the city has seen more 
than its fair share of red in recent times.  I have seen warriors die in youth.  I 
have seen men cut down in their prime.  This week GOTHIC MINISTRY must mourn the loss 
of 6-3-1 INCUBUS to LOST SOULS.  I must report the passing of ZOMBIE KNIGHT, veteran 
of many duels.  10-7-0 final record Its was not illustrious--but death plays no 
favorites.  The warrior's path is harsh.  For mediocrity there is but one 
reward--death.  This past week BEAR NEKKID, at 13-9-0, departed SCOMSS SWAMP forever. 
My hearty congratulations JUSTICE FOR ALL, for thy revenge upon WILSON, slayer of thy 
fallen comrade.  Next time it will know better, eh?  Dark alleys may hide both 
secrets and assassins.  In the arena there is only the brightness of steel.  Keep 
vigil always!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  More than a sharp eye must I keep, indeed a 
stout pair of legs must I keep as well!  The endless paths of Alastari await me!  
Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a 
different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KALYPSO 3603                 21  15  0   115       DARQUE FORCES (396)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ACE METRIC 3554              10   4  0   131       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 KRAMER 5191                  12   5  0   120       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SARA F. 5349                 10   2  1   116       SKELETON KEY (493)
 GREGOLA 5101                 21  16  0   101       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 TOTO 3914                    19  10  0    99       LAND OF OZ (217)
 MINOR BLUE 5326              10   3  1    97       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
-PROHIBITION 5607             12  12  0    96       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 SPAWING OF SPEWN 5197        11   7  0    94       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151           10  12  0    94       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-KILLING JOKE 5611            15   9  1    93       INDIFFERENCE (611)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAST CALL 5606               11  10  0    88       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 JABBERWOCK 1277              14  19  4    79       FREEDONIA (32)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235           10   9  1    78       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BOMBADIL 2724                16  11  0    75       FREEDONIA (32)
 HUMBUG 5199                  12   8  1    75       LAND OF OZ (217)
 SIR GALAHAD 5148             12   9  0    70       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137       12   3  0    69       OLD HABITS (566)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARAJUANA MAN 3411           12   7  2    66       BLACK STORM (171)
 STEAL SHANK 5487              9   2  1    66       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 DASTER MARQUE 5196            8  10  0    66       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481           7   1  0    66       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 TARANTELLA 5687               4   1  1    66       LOST SOULS (618)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152              9  10  1    65       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 JENNA 5099                   13  13  3    62       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEPPADA 2257                 13  23  0    62       TREBORS (232)
 WHITE SETTLER 5322            7   7  1    62       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 FREEZE DRIED 5308            12   4  0    61       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SISTER MARY CLARENCE 5262     5   6  1    60       OLD HABITS (566)
 CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318         9   5  0    58       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-LADY ARCANE 4381              6   2  1    58       THE RIPPER CREW (489)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BODAK 5589                    5   3  1    54       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321         9   5  2    53       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 CYRUS THE GREAT 5681          4   0  0    53       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 CRISTER MOFFEE 5289          10   7  1    51       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441        7   1  0    51       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 PAUL BEARER 5187              9   9  2    48       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 B.B. CROSS 5323               9   4  2    46       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 SWEET N LOW 5306              8   8  0    46       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442        7   1  1    46       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 MORWHEN 5686                  4   1  1    46       LOST SOULS (618)
 GANGSTA CREEP 5391            5   5  0    44       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 RED DRAGON 5585               5   2  0    44       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 CAFE AU LAIT 5344             6   8  0    43       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 ANTON LEVAY 5429              5   2  1    43       LEADERS (593)
 MAHARA 2656                   9  14  1    42       TREBORS (232)
 APPIUS 5392                   7   3  0    42       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 ARAUTHATOR 4660               4   3  0    42       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 JACK & JILL 5310              8   5  0    41       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 DAINTY CHINA 5564             4   1  0    41       LAND OF OZ (217)
 AMELA BUNDERSON 5339          8   5  0    39       SKELETON KEY (493)
 ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377          4   6  2    39       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 HALLE BEARY 5312              4  10  0    37       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393           6   3  1    36       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BLOOD RAYNE 5489              8   7  0    35       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408          5   0  0    35       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          4   0  1    35       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-BENDER 5395                   7   0  1    34       ADULT SWIM (589)
 WILSON 5482                   5   2  1    34       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAVID KARESH 5426             5   2  0    33       LEADERS (593)
 JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          3   2  0    33       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 WOZZECK 5644                  3   2  0    33       THE OPERA (613)
 CURSESHOCK 5234               7   6  0    32       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439        5   3  1    32       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 AXELROD GUNNER 5401           5   2  0    32       FALLEN (590)
 HANTA 5443                    4   4  0    32       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 RACECAR 5498                  2   1  0    32       PALINDROMES (599)
 LEET STREEGLE 5368            6   4  0    31       MANEGERIAL MAYHEM (574)
 BEAR SKINRUG 5399             5   2  0    31       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 CAESAR 5679                   3   1  0    31       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 DROPSHOT 5402                 4   2  1    30       FALLEN (590)
 CARLOTTA 5559                 3   0  0    30       MAYFAIR (607)
 FRED BEAR 5348                5   7  0    29       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SON YUNG MOON 5427            5   2  0    29       LEADERS (593)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               3   1  0    28       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 OUT TO KILL 5594              1   3  0    28       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438        4   4  1    27       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 LIL BIT 5404                  3   3  1    27       FALLEN (590)
 JACK DER RIERRE 5639          2   1  0    27       MISNOMERS (608)
 EVICSERATOR 5358              7   4  1    26       BLACK STORM (171)
-GET THE POINT? 5097           4   8  0    26       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 ICHORID 5584                  4   1  0    26       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 PAZUZU 5513                   2   1  0    26       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885            6   7  0    25       BLACK STORM (171)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACKENED 5531                5   0  0    25       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 CYANIDE 5444                  4   4  1    25       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 CAPPUCCINO 5382               3   7  0    25       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 SISTER SLEDGE 5341            3   2  0    25       OLD HABITS (566)
 FREEBORN BLOODBLADE 5597      2   2  0    25       BLACK STORM (171)
 DARK HEART 5684               4   1  1    24       LOST SOULS (618)
 STELLA 5561                   3   0  0    24       MAYFAIR (607)
-DAY DREAM 5417                2   3  0    24       THE DREAMING (591)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MEDEE 5642                    5   0  0    23       THE OPERA (613)
 FAUST 5643                    3   2  2    23       THE OPERA (613)
 DON KING 5374                 3   5  0    23       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-VASH THE STAMPEDE 5396        3   4  0    23       ADULT SWIM (589)
 HITLER YOUTH 5547             2   4  0    23       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 TNT 5499                      2   1  0    23       PALINDROMES (599)
 SUZANNE 5560                  2   1  0    23       MAYFAIR (607)
 MR. CROWLEY 5570              3   2  0    22       LEADERS (593)
 FREMAN 5376                   3   7  0    22       FREEDONIA (32)
 JENKINS 5708                  2   0  0    22       THE MARAUDERS (619)
-SEALAB DEBBIE 5567            1   2  0    22       ADULT SWIM (589)
-TSO TSUNG T'ANG 4391          5   2  0    21       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 LOWELL 5569                   4   1  1    21       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PHILP OF MACEDON 5680         3   1  0    21       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 SHORTEST STRAW 5532           2   3  0    21       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 HOLLE' CHERRY 5437            5   1  0    20       SKELETON KEY (493)
 TARGET 5573                   3   2  0    20       SOULFORGE (587)
 SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440        2   6  0    20       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 TARZAN 5542                   1   5  0    20       FREEDONIA (32)
 PRINCE IGOR 5640              1   0  0    20       THE OPERA (613)
 TRESSA 5388                   3   6  0    19       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 DYERS EVE 5535                1   4  0    19       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 FEL STRIKE 5516               1   4  0    19       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 RAZOR 5689                    1   2  0    19       LOST SOULS (618)
 DEMONIC HEX 5530              3   3  0    18       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 KILLER 4999                   1   2  0    18       CODE RED (547)
 OPAI 5735                     1   0  0    17       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 GENESIS 5435                  4   4  0    16       SOULFORGE (587)
 EBOLA (Z) 5447                4   4  0    16       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
-KENTSUI FURY 4382             4   4  0    16       THE RIPPER CREW (489)
 BINDI ATWATER 5704            2   0  0    16       SKELETON KEY (493)
 BARBAZU 5514                  2   0  0    16       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 ORC PLAGUE 5501               1   1  1    16       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 MY SLEEP 5657                 1   0  0    16       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 BLACK BALL 5520               4   3  0    15       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 CASSIDY 5705                  2   0  0    15       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 HAMATULA 5510                 2   1  0    15       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
 LOW FAT LOON 5527             1   2  0    15       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 R.I. RED 5738                 1   0  0    15       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 MISS B. HAVEN 5701            1   1  0    15       MISNOMERS (608)
 RIGORMORTIS 5736              1   0  0    15       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494              4   2  0    14       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 DAMIEN BANESON 5519           3   1  1    14       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 BALOR 5586                    1   4  0    14       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 ROBUST BREW 5400              2   7  0    13       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 CRYPT ANGEL 5553              1   3  1    13       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 FINCH 5627                    1   1  0    13       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 RED DEVIL 5732                1   0  0    13       LOST SOULS (618)
 SHADE'S FORM 5549             3   3  0    12       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 BULLSEYE 5571                 3   2  0    12       SOULFORGE (587)
 WOW 5495                      1   2  1    12       PALINDROMES (599)
-UNLEASH 5603                  1   1  1    12       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 BLACK 5706                    1   1  0    12       THE MARAUDERS (619)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RICHARD CRANIUM 5577          3   2  0    11       MISNOMERS (608)
 CONSTANTINE 5677              2   1  0    11       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 DIPTHERIA 5445                2   5  0    11       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 STUFF 5656                    1   0  1    11       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658     1   0  0    11       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671     1   0  0    11       OLD HABITS (566)
 HOMEY D. CLONE 5637           3   1  0    10       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 OBLIVION 5518                 2   3  1    10       BLEAK LEGION (601)
-DEAD ANGLE 5418               2   3  1    10       THE DREAMING (591)
 CLAUGIYLIAMATAR 4694          2   4  0    10       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 TIMAT II 5726                 1   0  0    10       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 SILVER 5727                   1   0  0    10       DRACONIC REALM (519)
 BRUTE 5590                    2   2  0     9       BLEAK LEGION (601)
 BOGBANE 5500                  2   0  0     9       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 FADE TO BLACK 5695            1   0  0     9       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 TWIGGY 5731                   0   1  0     9       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 MR. REE 5406                  2   2  0     8       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 SPECTRE 5654                  1   2  0     8       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 RIKER 5707                    1   1  0     8       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 PARTY TRAP 5496               2   1  0     7       PALINDROMES (599)
 THE KURGEN 5636               1   3  1     7       FREEDONIA (32)
-NIGHT TERROR 5420             1   4  0     7       THE DREAMING (591)
 EGG HEAD 5730                 1   0  0     7       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DROW 5674                     0   1  0     7       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 GRADE TEN 5638                1   2  1     6       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-MUSTAFA 5568                  1   1  0     6       THE DREAMING (591)
 DETARTRATED 5497              1   2  0     5       PALINDROMES (599)
 MARBURG 5655                  1   2  0     5       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 XERXES 5742                   1   0  0     5       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 ROWAN 5563                    1   2  0     5       MAYFAIR (607)
 MAN HUNTER 5000               1   2  0     5       CODE RED (547)
 PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659          1   0  0     5       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 DEADLY 4996                   1   2  0     5       CODE RED (547)
 SISTER MERCY 5526             0   1  0     5       OLD HABITS (566)
 MARILITH 5691                 0   1  0     5       BAATANAR' RITEZU (600)
-BROCK SAMPSON 5416            0   5  0     5       THE DREAMING (591)
 PAM D MONIUM 5725             0   1  0     5       MISNOMERS (608)
 RICK TERSCALE 5724            0   1  0     5       MISNOMERS (608)
 FETAL CREEPY 5634             0   4  0     4       SOULFORGE (587)
 JUDGE 4997                    0   3  0     3       CODE RED (547)
 LETHAL 4998                   0   3  0     3       CODE RED (547)
 CHARLOTTE 5562                0   3  0     3       MAYFAIR (607)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5646           0   3  0     3       FALLEN (590)
 LEAVON WORTH 5703             0   2  0     2       SKELETON KEY (493)
-DANTILLIUS 5675               0   2  0     2       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 BEOWOLF 5729                  0   1  0     2       LEADERS (593)
-SPACE GHOST 5648              0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
-FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 5647      0   1  0     1       ADULT SWIM (589)
 LOUIE 5740                    0   1  0     1       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 STAG 5737                     0   1  0     1       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 MY PILLOW 5660                0   1  0     1       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GLABREZU 5512          0  2 0 BAATANAR' RITEZU 600  DAMIEN BANESON 5519   227         
NALFESHNEE 5511        0  1 0 BAATANAR' RITEZU 600  GRADE TEN 5638        225 JUST REV
BEAR NEKKID 5126      13  9 0 THE BEAR'S PAW 150    SARA F. 5349          227         
ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564    10  7 0 BLACK STORM 171       SISTER MARY CLAR 5262 227         
NOT!  AGAIN! 5699      1  1 1 DARK PINNACLE 598     GUILLOTINE GARTH 20   227 NONE    
GALDR 5171             7  6 1 DESOLATE ONES 524     FIGHTING TREE 5235    223 NOT REVE
ZYKLON 5548            1  1 0 DESOLATE ONES 524     ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552  223 NOT REVE
ANTHRAX 5446           2  3 1 DOK SIK KILLAS 595    DROPSHOT 5402         224 REVENGED

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
VALAMARADACE 4695      2  5 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    PUTRID PATRICK 19     227 NONE    
DRACONIC 5595          1  1 0 DRACONIC REALM 519    WOW 5495              225         
ANGELIKA 5633          1  3 0 FALLEN 590            GUILLOTINE GARTH 20   227 NONE    
ERON RIPPER 5403       0  4 0 FALLEN 590            WOODY 5412            224 NONE    
MSK 5507               2  1 1 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   WOODY 5412            223 NONE    
BRASSBACK 5544         0  2 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   CRYPT ANGEL 5553      223 NOT REVE
GULL 5626              0  1 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   THE KURGEN 5636       224         
NEUFCHATELLA 2958      3  9 0 FREEDONIA 32          STEAL SHANK 5487      223 NOT REVE
INCUBUS 5423           6  3 1 GOTHIC MINISTRY 592   TARANTELLA 5687       227         
NYCADAEMON 5592        1  3 0 GOTHIC MINISTRY 592   ORC PLAGUE 5501       227         
DEAD ROSES 5697        0  1 0 GOTHIC MINISTRY 592   UNLEASH 5603          226         
S.C. RUDE 5728         0  1 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   WURM KIN 27           227 NONE    
AMALRIC 5378           1  7 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   EVICSERATOR 5358      225         
JAIDEN 5685            2  2 0 LOST SOULS 618        ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377  226         
KILL ME 5743           0  1 0 THE MARAUDERS 619     ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   227 NONE    
MISS DE MEANOR 5575    0  3 0 MISNOMERS 608         BENDER 5395           225         
SIR PRIZE 5576         1  2 0 MISNOMERS 608         LOWELL 5569           225 REVENGED
BIG BEER BELLY 5733    0  1 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  STUFF 5656            227         
ONE 5533               2  1 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 603   WILSON 5482           225 JUST REV
F 5700                 0  1 0 THE OPERA 613         MURDEROUS MARK 18     227 NONE    
DA 5741                0  1 0 SALEM'S LOT 605       PUTRID PATRICK 19     227 NONE    
PAULA BONES 4414      18 14 1 SKELETON KEY 493      JABBERWOCK 1277       223 REVENGED
Z 5739                 0  1 0 SOULFORGE 587         CARDIAC CRAIG 21      227 NONE    
IMMAZAEL 5384          2  4 1 SOULFORGE 587         LIL BIT 5404          223 JUST REV
ETHER 5572             1  2 0 SOULFORGE 587         OBLIVION 5518         225         
KOZYTA 2640            9 13 2 TREBORS 232           LADY ARCANE 4381      224         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Swamp Claw Hammer -- Are you always this easy?  Aren't you embarrassed that of a
hammer and a piece of chinaware, I won? -- Dainty China

Crip, Slugbait, Soultaker -- I look forward to seeing you at The Face.  We will
probably miss our fellow Mannequin, but perhaps we will all do well for the glory and
honor of SCOMSS Swamp. -- Oz The All-Excited

Blood Rayne -- Thanks!  The Illuminati will certainly not miss those 5 points!  It
was my pleasure to make you say "Uncle" and "Bah, Humbug". -- Humbug (not feeling so

Vendetta Cartel -- Congratulations on your fine first round.  Nice scores, Street and
Kat.  You are the kind of team that is going to make this competition very, very
interesting! -- Oz The All-Praising

Kalypso -- Once was not enough.  Perhaps you will save the last dance for me? --
Hourglass, Duelmistress

Illuminati -- May we ask who that was with the low score on your team first round?
Kudos to Baphomet for his contribution of points, but even more for hosting this
event so well. -- Oz The All-Thankful

Spawing Of Spew -- I was all up for the challenge and you caught me at my very best.
By the way, what does a little doggie do with a decise skill? -- Toto

Baphomet -- Perhaps I am dense.  (Did I really say THAT?)  But I did not understand
the Muppets reference. -- Oz The All-Puzzled

Ultraist -- Is there some true significance to your first round zero score?  Is
Tripwire going to have to carry the whole council both here in the Swamp and at The
face? -- Oz The All-Curious

Sara F -- You again?  I thought we already had it settled that you were my daddy? --
Fighting Tree

Hail, Hammer.  Thank you for your kind words about strategy and Hourglass.  You can
read all about her in the DM Column and a Spotlight in this newsletter. -- Oz The

Toker -- I had to talk long and hard to convince Lady Fern to return to Fratsfa for
your fine competition.  And I agree Crip is always a good surprise. -- Oz The All-

All -- Good luck to everyone in this Turf War competition and at The Face.  May you
do SCOMSS Swamp/North Fork proud.

Freeze Dried -- My hat's off to you, Champ!  Will see you again in the  future and
hope luck is on my side next time. -- Arauthator!

Blackened -- Nice duel!  Next time the gods will be with me. -- Claugiyliamatar!

Son Youg Moon -- With my loss to you, my manager is sending me to my fate! --

Buddy Lee -- Sorry for the long delay.  Steal Shank looks very nice!  Crush the
foes!!  Will get with you soon. -- Sir Chester with a (0-5) turn

Liam the Goth -- Sorry... (Arauthator!) just lost to Freeze Dried.  Will talk to you
soon.  Hoping for better turns. -- Sir Chester

Asmo -- Good to see you around.  Hope you do well and much better than I. -- Sir

Illuminati -- Again, job well done, no thanks to me! -- Sir Chester, praying for or
to my war gods

Baphomet -- Well, well, well, what a monstrosity!  What a savagery!  What a
shellacking my stable and I have taken!  Hoping to find a potion of deflection...can
anyone help me with this? -- Sir Chester, whimpering in a corner

All -- Good luck to you, or should I say, "better luck than me"? -- Sir Chester

Ice Pick, Hammer -- Thanks a million. -- Sir Chester, waiting to see how things turn
out this time

SCOMSS Swamp -- Hopefully since this turn runs on my son's birthday it will bring me
luck.  Crossed fingers. -- Az

Abraxis -- First the name AZRAEL that I was using comes from Judeo-Christian
mythology as an angel of death.  Second, don't quote comics to a fan-boy.  I have
nearly the whole run of the Azrael comic.  I started reading it because of the
character's name.  Jean-Paul wasn't psychotic, he was schizophrenic, I leave it to
you to learn the difference.  In the only physical confrontation that he had with
Bruce (that I have seen, as I said, I have nearly the whole run) he handed Bruce his
butt.  Bruce had to use mental trickery to beat him.  Jean-Paul no longer has that
particular problem.  And let us look at something else:  Bruce vs. Bane 1-1.  Az vs.
Bane 3-0.  As for history repeating itself let us remember what Tim Drake said to
Bruce concerning Azrael, "Everything you want people to believe you are, He IS."  So
bring it on you Caped Clown, bring it on. -- Azraelus

Maximillian -- Illuminati can't stand up to the VC?  Poor delusional fool.  As far as
calling out Hammer goes, be wary of the lone wolf, the pack is rarely far away. --

Toker -- Spell check.  Coward. -- Azraelus

Baphomet -- If I haven't verified Suicide (our team is freakin' huge!!!) I do so now.
-- Talon Darkhart

Oz -- Nemesis and his tendency to run blind warriors will teach you that we don't
even need one eye to defeat you. -- Azraelus

Baphomet -- The Opera declares Medee (5642) as its Champion for the Turf War. --

Raven -- Holy S@#@!!  Wow...just...Wow!  Congrats on the TC!  That's totally
unbelievable!  I'm proud to be a member of the X-Syndicate with you.  You go, girl!
-- Impresario

Nycadaemon -- Good challenge.  Glad that worked out my way. -- Medee

Bear Nekkid -- Love that name. -- Wozzeck

Riker -- Ouch! -- Faust

Jack Der Rierre -- Let me be the first to congratulate you on your victory.  Well
done! -- Lowell

Of Wolf & Man -- As promised, I'm back and ready for action--and definitely NOT
avoiding you.  Will I be seeing Justice for All? -- Wilson

Leet Streegle -- My performance in the arena continues to exceed my manager's
expectations. -- Jack McFarland

Bombadil -- My apologies for the down-challenge/style mismatch.  Sometimes you have
to take one for the team. -- Kramer, wingman for Ace Metric

Woody has gone to the big bar in the sky.  Everyone say hello to Louie (DePalma) and
make the little psychopath feel at home here in the Swamp. -- Mannequin, mgr. Second

Lost Souls -- Thanks for the kind words.  We congratulate you and yours for a
marvelous tourney performance.  The Swamp's talent continues to improve!  Salute! --
Mannequin, mgr. Second Bananas

Buddy Lee -- Sorry no diplo this time, but I'm moving.  Let me get settled, and I'll
send you what I have. -- Jorja

SCOMSS SWAMP Psychos and all you other Turf War 4 Toughies -- The creative spark is
rekindling and hopefully both last cycle's and this cycle's Hammer spotlights are
seeing print in our beloved swamp!  Still no resolution on paper regarding my
situation overseas as revealed by my spotlight that was intended for print last
cycle.  However, I am with my busy teaching schedule steadily amassing the coins to
purchase my fare for travel back to my homeland for the holidays!  Hopefully matters
will be resolved in my favor by next cycle! -- Hammer; the Illuminati Ice Pick of
International Real Life Intrigue

Steel Shank -- Sure just come up North, were quite hospitable. -- Maximillian

Zombie Knight -- Oooo that had to be embarrassing. -- LBM

Ahura Mazda -- Watch out; next time that little trick won't work again. -- White

Swamp Trap Hammer -- Man, just a little on the scummy side, eh! -- Hitler Youth

Amela Bunderson -- Maybe you need a smaller stick. -- Clintonlikesbush

Killing Joke -- Man it was like, Ready! Set! and you had already gone.... -- Devout

Goat -- Where are you, buddy?  We need your help for the Turf War. -- *Lasher*

Dark Knight Toker -- Thank you for your support and advice.  It is an honor to fight
beside you in the Turf War. -- Lasher

All -- I am a new manager and I am still learning and would appreciate any advice
from the veteran managers.  Thank you and much respect to all of you. -- *Lasher*

Dark Knight Toker -- We stand at a crossroad, action on both parts will determine the
outcome of our relationship.  I have no ill will for anyone in this land.  The ball
is in your court.  Funny, I almost probated with you guys, but someone talked me out
of it.  It would have been strange to be fighting against friends in your war, much
like Abraxis and Baphomet are.  I, being friends with Hammer, Baphomet and Sensei
Jan, yes it would have been strange. -- Liam the Goth
P.S.  Though had I not come to SCOMMS, things would have been very different.
P.P.S.  Anyone who likes vampires is good in my book.

Oz -- Well thank you.  We'll see how well I do in the presence of so many Master
Managers.  We will see if faith will smile on me. -- Liam the Goth

Assur -- Welcome.  I for one would rather run in to hades than your boys. -- Liam the

Hammer -- Yes Trocar, will be there in one form or another.  Have to see how
something comes out.  The silence is too much for me to bear.  See you at Foul Marrow
Castle for some fishing on Lake Moruchei. -- Liam the Goth

Azraelus Prime -- Good to hear from you.  Sent a letter.  Hope the Face was great. --
Liam the Goth

Maximillian -- Thank you.  So when's the next madness?  Morya was a little dead last
month.  I came back and everyone runs away.  Not cool.  What do I have, some blood
stuck on my teeth? -- Liam the Goth

Suiside -- Guess Az and Assur didn't know you are TCB, hum...good to be working with
you and don't mind my undead demon Slayers.  They ate already. -- Liam the Goth

Heathen -- To you as well.  Wastes, you say.  You would love some of the undead I
have.  11-12-7-15-17-5-17, 13-8-8-17-15-5-17, 13-13-3-17-19-4-15 and 15-12-3-17-17-3-
17.  I have DAed most of them due to little damage.  Oh well. -- Liam the Goth, fan
of the week
P.S.  Buddy Lee and I come from the same school and teacher.

Illuminati -- Oops, my bloody finger. -- Liam the Goth

Captain Coffee -- A friend of a friend is a friend. -- Liam (drinking his iced
coffee) Goth

Sir Chester -- Hum...worm food and spilled blood.  Now that's what I call lunch!
Missed you in Jhans.  What Bandit is dead? -- Liam the Goth

Asmo -- Yes behind on your writing indeed.  Too busy tormenting those fellows
captured in the Necropolis.  Hope they tell you who has the Sigil.  Can I borrow a
few of your Devils?  Need them in Trocar until I finish the catalyst of the awaking.
-- Liam the Goth, Company man

Baphomet -- Regrets.  No can't say I have any.  Should be a fun ride, my brother.

I'll be at the citadel of Shadows looking up something.  In the middle of re-
deploying my forces throughout Alastari. -- Liam the Goth, Paladin of the order of
the Red Crescent

Snark -- The Gandhi award huh?  Well thank you, I think.  May you know that sweetness
of victory.  You're definitely one of the most fun managers I've come across--a true
honor to meet you. -- Liam the Goth

Holle 'Cherry -- Nice challenge.  Didn't see it coming. -- Spectre

Unleash -- Oh sure, just Unleash on me.  Thanks a lot. -- Dead Roses

Buddy Lee -- Now you know why!  Not for real though; life is too short to be anything
else than HAPPY!  And I do try my best. -- D.K. Toker

Baphomet -- Right you are, there was no disrespect or innuendoes.  My apologies, good
sir! -- D.K. Toker
P.S.  Did you receive my snailmail?

Ebola(Z) -- If I wasn't so worried about you being contagious, I might have asked for
dinner and a movie.  After spanking that brown bottom of yours, I was kinda excited
and wanted more! -- Tressa

Party Trap -- Rightly named you are.  I came for a party and it ended a trap!  Good
fight! -- Dantillius

Buddy Lee -- I don't know you, but you seem rather idoneous to the game. -- Abraxis

Goat -- Where are you, my hircine one? -- Abraxis

Lasher -- Your Mayfair Witches have done a wonderful job! -- Abraxis

Azrael -- On second thought, I realize that you are merely picayune!  As my will, so
mote it be! -- Abraxis

TDH -- My dear sir, you edentulous, eructative, gnathonic, glabrous cretin!  You are
not fit to fight in this arena.  You are totally eleemosynary!  As my will, so mote
it be! -- Abraxis

Punk-Diddy -- The company you keep! -- Abraxis

Mr. Coffee -- Double mocha latte please! -- Abraxis

Heathen -- I'm thinking about bringing back my limerick corner.  What do you think?
-- Abraxis

Buffy -- Er, Baffy, I like the breakdown that you sent me.  Keep up the good work! --

Darque -- I noticed your absence last cycle.  What's wrong, did you give up on your
new boys too! -- Abraxis

Hammer -- I've been asked by a friend to leave you be, but I still think you're
exiguous, callipygian and prolegomenous!  As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis

Marauders -- Congrats on your 5-0 opener.  And welcome to SCOMSS Swamp. -- Mr.
Coffee/Coffee Rules!

Hammer -- That is some Lily!  Wow! -- Mr. Coffee

Slugbait -- What do you say to a possible SCCOMS alliance sometime down the road? --
Mr. Coffee

     I hope that "possible" is correct.  It got to me as "sposbile", which didn't
     make any sense.  Come to think of it, not making sense might be what you
     intended, no? -- Ed.

Oz -- Oh!  Ambidextrous!  And I thought Baphomet meant Mannequin went TO AND FROM
work.  Thanks for clearing that up. -- Mr. Coffee

Humbug -- No, the luck was all ours in fighting such an experienced warrior. --
Freeze Dried
P.S.  I slowly ground the beans and lulled you to sleep--rather boring...grinding

Morwhen -- Indeed you were fortunate.  You won, and you deserved it. -- Cafe Au Lait

Swamp Claw Hammer -- Slip one past Hammer, NEVER!  And you were the proof. --

Buddy Lee -- Better wired than on decaf. -- Mr. Coffee

Gangsta Creep -- You're welcome for the compliment. -- Mr. Coffee

Heathen -- Need your FULL address for direct communication. -- Mr. Coffee

Heathen -- Good showing!  Let's keep up the momentum.  The Fuhrer has been at it for
a while.  Hope he can game soon. -- Mr. Coffee

Arauthator -- You should have stuck to Sweet N Low.  That's what happens when a
champion faces a real champion.  Good luck in the future--against other warriors. --
Freeze Dried

Hammer -- You gave me the "key" to improving and it is showing...I won, I won. --

Managerial Mayhem -- You won and I got the skills. -- Mr. Coffee

Baphomet -- Yes, you are. -- Mr. Coffee

Coffee -- 3-0 with two DA is about as serious as I can get for the moment and though
the RUGS didn't give me much to work with I'll keep what I have and do the best I
can!  I won't go minus points again, if that's what you mean by serious.  But I can't
promise huge gains either! -- Heathen
P.S.  "Oz and his Cronies" sounds like a group from the big band era!

     I thought that was "Oz and the Ozettes". -- Ed.

Chester -- You of all people should be aware of my methods and know that Sir Prize
served his purpose, though it should have been the turn before!  Good luck this
turn!!! -- Heathen Hatebred

Mr. Pee -- The true mystery is how your manager keeps the names of his warriors out
of the newsletters, though they fight two turns in a row! -- Miss B. Haven

Lethal -- Not so much huh?  It's pretty sad when I have a bigger weapon than you do!
Like they say:  when all else fails, pick up a BIG weapon!! -- Dick

Lowell -- Fortunately for you, without violating the rules I cannot bloodfeud again
and Heathen doesn't have anyone else who could beat you.  So thanks for the few
points we received. -- Jack

"A happy life is impossible--the highest to which a man can attain is an heroic
course of life."

Expatriate -- I admire your fortitude and desire for a fresh start, here and
elsewhere.  Over time I think we all learn that it's really about the game, not the
ego.  It just takes some longer than others.  I'm sure there are still some around
who remember how obnoxious I was in the beginning! -- Heathen Hatebred
P.S.  Feel free to join "the Alliance that isn't Oz or his cronies" if you'd like to
join in the fray known as Turf War 4.

Dannia tyl Sio -- I'll be right up there to "cool you off." -- Shade, Nemesis (My Ma
was a "shrew" Shew, therefore tall, but not too.)

Mirta -- Origin?  Pause to flip back through the moments of our brief but intense
affair on the hot hot sands, my lady. -- Ironbar, Nemesis

300 of PBA -- You're better than 300 on the PGA.  I demand a rematch! -- Shade, baked
at 300 on the sandy lanes

Pooh-Bear -- I was just making sure of you. -- Ironbar

Who will sign my petition asking G., Sheila to track the number of times each
immortal Lord Protector is "killed"? -- Snarky, mgr. Nemesis

Historian -- Welcome to here!  Competition you will receive!  Remember to have lots
of fun.  If you need help I'll be glad to help out. -- Blackstorm, mgr. Black Storm

Bombadil -- ...eyes fell out after...last blow.... -- Zombie

     Here, have a potato. -- Ed.

Snarky -- I do try.  Things will be back in order next turn.  I don't like to drop
like this. -- Blackstorm

Richard Cranium -- Blackstorm thought I was a Waste.  Good thing only you saw it, but
now I got new gear. -- F - Bloodblade
P.S.  What's with that downchallenge you received.  Let's rip 'im apart!

Baphomet -- Thanx for letting us in.  I am real sorry about Amalric.  The bloodlust
is strange for him; even at a three he has come close two or three times already. --

Dyer's Eve -- Now wasn't that cute.  That is way too big. -- Black Thunder

Kalypso -- That rocked!!!  But not to my advantage.  I'll roll up a big one and come
see you again. -- MM

Clintonlikesbush -- You lucky, you no do again, uhhh. -- Zombie Knight

Ed. -- Do you think we could get Darque Forces warriors listed on the list?  Thanks!
-- Baphomet

     Listed on the list?  Ummm...if you mean the list I put a bit further down, no
problem.  If you're talking about the regular, every-turn team and warrior listings
in the newsletter, I have nothing to do with that.  That's a CSR thing and I'm not
sure they've gotten it fixed yet anyhow. -- Ed.

Mr. Oz -- Don't know about being a gentleman, but...I respect the wishes of my
friends.  Lord willing, this situation is about to come to a close in the very near
future. -- Baphomet
P.S.  Is that what they call it nowadays?  Ambi?

Mannequin -- Say it ain't so!! -- Baphomet (grin)

Snarky -- You better stop looking at Manny's Bananas or someone's gonna think you're
ambi too! -- Baphomet (chuckling at potty humour)

     Just low on potassium. -- Ed.

Asmo -- Rarely do I pay attention to princes.  They tend to be knaves.  Unless
they're ambi...then they're queens.  Of course, if that were the case, it's Crip who
runs Royal here. -- Baphomet (grin)

     I 'spect that'll just about be enough of that now. -- Ed.

Liam -- When I said, "put 'em on ice..." I thought you were talking about
enemies...not some sick Bloody Mary you concocted! -- Baphomet

Chaotix -- O-kaaaaay!  But, you might want to remind Raven. -- Baphomet

Impresario -- Yeah, I am just a tad smarter than the average bear.  Unless it's one
of The Bear's Paws.  Then I'm a whole lot smarter! (grin) -- Baphomet

Kat -- Just kidding.  Don't choke on a furball! -- Baphomet (chuckling)

Hammer -- Thanks for your prayers.  Know that ours continue on behalf of you and
yours.  Truly...your service is that of a hero! -- Baphomet
P.S.  And, you *ARE* a soldier for The King of Kings!!!

Murker -- Gotcha! -- Baphomet

The Historian -- Gotcha! -- Baphomet

Liam -- Not a problem.  This is "the Company of Brothers!"  Not, I'm over you...I'm
your boss...not...I'm the alpha male...etc.  WE are in THIS together!!! -- Baphomet,

Mr. Coffee -- Actually, I think it was my warriors doing the falling! -- Baphomet

Asmo -- Appreciate the accolades, but...it wasn't I who promoted this shindig.  More
like The Consortium, Bookie, Hammer, Az, Tripwire, Mr. Coffee and Master Darque.  It
was their efforts, and the efforts of the previous host...*YOU!* -- Baphomet (just
picking up the slack)

Saint -- Take your time.  No big rush. -- Baphomet

     Ummm...for what?  Was I supposed to do a manager list for y'all?  I was out of
     town last time the arena ran, so I'm a bit behind the times.  Just in case that
     IS what I'm supposed to be doing, here's a list.  It's teams listed in last
     turn's newsletter.  If I've gotten anyone's name wrong, just let me know and
     I'll fix it. -- The Saint, often confused keeper of lists
     ADULT SWIM         Talon Darkhart        LOST SOULS            Raven
     AGE OF EMPIRES     The Historian         MAESTUS MORTALES      Dark Knight Toker
     ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ  Hammer                MANEGERIAL MAYHEM     Fizban
     BAATANAR' RITEZU   Asmo Dius             MAYFAIR               Lasher
     BLACK STORM        Blackstorm            MISNOMERS             Heathen
     BLEAK LEGION       Lord Chaos            MYSTIC ORC FEAST      Slugbait
     CHAOTIX BEASTS     Chaotix               NATURAL B. KILLERS 2  Maximillian
     CODE RED           Suicide               OF WOLF AND MAN       Tripwire
     COFFEE RULES!      Mr. Coffee            OLD HABITS            Father O'Malley
     DARK PINNACLE      Buddy Lee             PALINDROMES           Assurnasirbanipal
     DARQUE FORCES      Master Darque         ROYAL FLUSH           Crip
     DOK SIK KILLAS     Doc Sik               SALEM'S LOT           Sensei Jan
     DRACONIC REALM     Warsprite             SECOND BANANAS        Mannequin
     FALLEN             Azraelus Prime        SKELETON KEY          Skallagrim
     FEATHERS FLYIN'    Barnabas              SOULFORGE             Wasby the Great
     FREEDONIA          Mr. Snarky            THE BEAR'S PAW        KAT
     GOTHIC MINISTRY    Liam the Goth         THE DREAMING          P-Diddy
     INDIFFERENCE       Jekyll                THE MARAUDERS         Murker
     KNIGHTS TEMPLAR    Baphomet              THE OPERA             Impresario
     LAND OF OZ         Oz the Successful     THE RIPPER CREW       Noachian
     LEADERS            Abraxis               TREBORS               ?
     LIFE'S LESSONS     Street Legal

Dark Heart -- My manager said that I should have danced with you longer, but I got
tired. -- Diptheria

Tressa -- I now have to write things on paper, for what you did to me. -- Ebola (z)

Out to Kill -- Would you like to go and lift some weights with me?  That way you can
use a heavier weapon.  Ha ha. -- Marburg

Snarky -- We of Dark Pinnacle nominate you for the Ghandi award. -- Buddy Lee
P.S.  Steal Shank wanted to know why your guys are so stingy with the skills?  He
says the only reason you bloodfeud is because he teaches well even if you suffer a
loss.  It was well worth it.  He wants to avoid.

Baphomet -- Great turn around, bro.  Now if we can just catch up to Vendetta and
SCOMSS we'll be alright. -- Buddy Lee

All -- What?!  "Not! Again!"  Won!?  Whohoo!  He straight up suck, Ba 17-6-18-11-7-
16-9, Awesome dam!  Born ex int!  What?!  I just want to know, who would keep this
Pud? -- Buddy Lee
P.S.  And you wonder why I keep DAing?  He's going back for a rematch.  Hope he comes
back again!

Cardia Craig -- I no like you stare at me chest.  I hurt you good, make you dead. --
Not! Again!

Impresario -- Welcome!?  And what team is that?  *All the idiots of Dark Pinnacles
raise hands in hope it's them* -- Buddy Lee

Illuminati -- Come on, boys!  Time to send the rally monkeys out.  SCOMSS Tower is
getting higher.  Vendetta is putting the pedal to the metal! -- Buddy Lee

Mr. Coffee -- Thank you for the welcome.  Had I known the swamp would be so fun, I'd
have come sooner. -- Buddy Lee

Sir Chester -- Any time, bro!  Now go kick butt. -- Buddy Lee

Oz the all conquering -- What if some of us were cyclops? -- Buddy Lee, putting one
hand over one eye, imitating Cyclops

Appius -- Ugh!  Thought you were a women.  And to think I brought flowers to seduce
you. -- Incubus

Homey D. Clone -- Next time we dance try to cut it short around the ten minute mark.
-- Deadly

Historian -- You know, the first time I came to this arena was during TW2.  It's
taken me all this time to build up the nerve to come back.  Watch yourself. -- The

Incubus -- Well, so much for that.  You are safe for the moment.  I have no intention
to bloodfeud you with either of my good warriors.  What kid of monster are you
anyway? -- The Expatriate
P.S.  Brute said "ouch."

Liam -- I will be taking you up on your offer to drop you a line, but not just yet.
(very busy)  Thank you and good luck. -- The Expatriate

Hammer -- You did respond but I am looking forward to hearing from you again. -- The
P.S.  That's one.

Ed. -- I noticed the word changes in my spotlight.  Well done. -- The Expatriate

     Word changes like "you can't say that there here" or like "the typist gave it
     her best guess and I have no idea what was supposed to go here but this is my
     best guess"?  Both get made on a regular basis. -- Ed.

Constantine -- You got away.  Good fight. -- Fel Strike

Ether -- Your body is now in the ground and your soul is in the aether.  HA!  You
should've been more careful who you challenged. -- Oblivion

Wasby -- I have no idea why Oblivion went bloodthirsty like that.  We await your
bloodfeud. -- The Expatriate

Oh where, oh where has my little klown gone?  Oh where, oh where, oh where could he
be?  Why'd you run off just when I came back, chump? -- The Expatriate (a blast from
your past)

Claugiylianatar -- I don't see how I increased my constitution.  I didn't even break
a sweat. -- Damier Baneson

It seems that HAL ate all of my personal ads AND the spotlight I wrote for last
turn's newsletter.  Needless to say, I'm a little upset.  The only reason I don't
inflict HAL with a dreaded Golem Virus is the fact that Lady Scale's replacement was
an upgrade.  All the personals for this turn are marked thus: (c). -- The Expatriate

Target -- That was the finest display of scumhood that I've seen in a while. -- Fel
Strike (c)

Bindi Atwater -- They boo at you and roar contempt at me.  What does that say about
our skill as warriors? -- Oblivion (c)

Wasby -- What, no bloodfeud? -- The Expatriate (c)

Killer -- Unlucky random matchup for me. -- Danier Bareson (c)

Shade's Form -- SMASH! -- Brute (he learned a new word) (c)

Hammer -- I still haven't received the diplo you mailed to the commission. -- The
Expatriate (c)
P.S.  Got it, one on the way.

Buddy Lee -- Declare?  With who?  Isn't it too late for all that?  Besides, I'm
having too much fun from the sidelines.  Thanks for the invite. -- The Expatriate (c)

Liam -- No, I'm not out to get you.  As I tried to say last turn, your monster is
safe from me for now. -- The Expatriate (c)
P.S.  Got your diplo; one on the way.

Mr. Coffee -- I don't see how.  To my knowledge we have crossed neither swords nor
words since I've been playing. -- The Expatriate (c)

Snarky -- Sure potty humor's funny...if you're 12 (or on that level). -- The
Expatriate (c)

Obnoxious, er Abraxis -- You are supposed to be a druid, right?  Druids are supposed
to be wise and knowledgeable.  How is it that you don't know that Azrael is the name
given to the Angel of Death in several christian AND pagan texts on such things?
Maybe next time you should do a little research before you stick your foot in your
mouth (or at least wash said foot). -- The Expatriate (c)

Azraelus Prime -- Yes, I know you can speak for yourself, but I had a check mark that
was a perfect fit for Obnoxious' forehead.  I hope you don't mind. -- The Expatriate

Jealousy Rains -- Not a very good challenge. -- Man Hunter

Sir Chester -- For starters Code Blue is totally overrated; Code Yellow is just a
caution and Code Red is complete chaos.  Any more questions?  Second, I am glad we
will be at arms together and not against.  It will make things a whole lot easier. --
Suicide, watch of Hell's Gate

Illuminati members -- Let's make this place sing with our victims' screams.  Let's
bring the aroma of brimstone into the air.  And let us bring Hell's Fire onto the
swamp for the hell of it. -- Suicide -- Watcher of Hell's Gate

4 August 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen...The Announcement You Have All Been Waiting For Is Here!!!!!!!!

ZalCon3...The Rebirth!!!!!!! 

The Rules Are Simple, The Prizes Are Awesome, The Competition Fierce!

Where:  Dullens (DM13)  When:  October 8th, 2005

The Rules:
Every Manager Must DA Their Entire Team On The First Turn They Enter The Contest.
All Warriors DA'd In This Manner MUST Be At Zero FE And May Fight In The Contest If
They Live.  The Style Of The Warrior Must Be Present In The Name In A Non Ambiguous
Manner, Standard Abbreviations Accepted.  Scoring Starts On The 3rd Turn Of The
Contest Which Will Also Be The First Turn After The October Mail In.  Dead Warriors
May Be Entered From The Contest To Dead Apprentices ONLY--And With Zero FE!!!!!  All
Living Warriors May Be Entered Into Rookies or Apprentices For The October Mail In.

 1 Point For Each Win.
 1 Point For Each Kill.
-1 Point For Each Loss.
-1 Point For Each Death.

Ultimate Style Master:  Warrior Of Any Style With The Most Style Master Points.
Top Team:  Team With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
Top Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Points At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Team:  Team With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
MVP Warrior:  Warrior With The Most Free Fight Awards At The End Of The Contest.
Style Master:  Warrior With The Most Points Vs. Style In Each Style At The End Of The
Warrior Top 11:  Next 10 Top Point Gaining Warriors At The End Of The Contest.
Iron Manager:  Any Manager With 100 Fights During The Contest (20 Turns Plus 2 Pre
***Special Category*** An Additional Top Team Award Will Be Granted For Each 5 Iron
Manager Awards Starting At 6.

Ultimate Style Master, Top Team, Top Warrior:  +1 To Bonus, Damage Bump, Free Train
                                              Or Learn 2 Skills, Favorites Knowledge.
MVP Team And MVP Warrior:  20 Rollups.
Style Master:  +1 To Bonus.
Warrior Top 11:  Free Train Or Learn 2 Skills. 
Iron Manager:  +1 To Bonus.

Please Contact Zalgor Prigg Via Diplo (Armor & Weapons DM102) or Email
(zalgor@hotmail.com) Should You Have Any Questions Or Wish A Free Team Rollup To Dark
Arena On Turn 1.

Disclaimer:  All Prizes Are To Be Used On Contest Team Only And Are Non Transferable.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NOT!  AGAIN! was butchered by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
VALAMARADACE was butchered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
ANGELIKA was easily killed by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
F was slain by MURDEROUS MARK in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
KILL ME was assassinated by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
S.C. RUDE was murdered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute Dark Arena competition.
Z was butchered by CARDIAC CRAIG in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
DA was butchered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
JUSTICE FOR ALL overcame WILSON in a 2 minute gruesome Bloodfeud fight.
BARBAZU outwaited GRADE TEN in a action packed 9 minute Bloodfeud duel.
DIPTHERIA was vanquished by DROPSHOT in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud fight.
TARGET won victory over LIL BIT in a 2 minute Bloodfeud fight.
TARANTELLA easily killed INCUBUS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ACE METRIC demolished GREGOLA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
MARAJUANA MAN was handily defeated by SPAWING OF SPEWN in a 1 minute contest.
JABBERWOCK was demolished by KRAMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
FREEZE DRIED was savagely defeated by ART PENDRAGON in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
SIR GALAHAD viciously subdued CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a tiresome 12 minute Challenge fray.
SWAMP LILY HAMMER was devastated by HUMBUG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
JENNA was beaten by BOMBADIL in a exciting 5 minute veteran's Challenge match.
SISTER MARY SARAH overpowered MORWHEN in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BODAK devastated LEET STREEGLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
STEAL SHANK vanquished PAUL BEARER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
CYRUS THE GREAT overcame ARAUTHATOR in a action packed 1 minute Challenge duel.
SISTER MARY CLARENCE butchered ZOMBIE KNIGHT in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
WHITE SETTLER overpowered AMELA BUNDERSON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
HALLE BEARY was overpowered by JACK MCFARLAND in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BLACK THUNDER was outlasted by JACK & JILL in a dull 18 minute Challenge match.
HITLER YOUTH was overpowered by APPIUS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
TRESSA was overpowered by ETIENNE DUPLAIX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
DON KING was vanquished by CAFE AU LAIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SUZANNE was overpowered by CRISTER MOFFEE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DAINTY CHINA defeated FRED BEAR in a exciting 2 minute Challenge match.
BONDS ON 'ROIDS defeated BLACK BALL in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
HANTA beat SHORTEST STRAW in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
TARZAN was beaten by AXELROD GUNNER in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
CUP OF TOE subdued KILLER in a 1 minute expert vs. novice Challenge contest.
SWAMP BURP HAMMER slimly won victory over SISTER SLEDGE in a 4 minute battle.
SWAMP ROSE HAMMER beat FETAL CREEPY in a 3 minute veteran vs. novice Challenge fray.
LOWELL subdued HOMEY D. CLONE in a exciting 4 minute gruesome Challenge conflict.
BLACKENED beat CLAUGIYLIAMATAR in a action packed 5 minute gory Challenge bout.
JENKINS handily defeated ROBUST BREW in a 5 minute mismatched Challenge match.
EBOLA (Z) was vanquished by PAZUZU in a 4 minute brutal one-sided Challenge match.
GLABREZU was dispatched by DAMIEN BANESON in a 2 minute bloody Challenge duel.
RICHARD CRANIUM subdued JUDGE in a 6 minute beginner's Challenge conflict.
LEAVON WORTH was overpowered by DEMONIC HEX in a 4 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
NYCADAEMON was put to death by ORC PLAGUE in a 2 minute Challenge conflict.
SPECTRE was subdued by BINDI ATWATER in a 6 minute novice's Challenge match.
OUT TO KILL demolished GENESIS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
DEADLY was savagely defeated by FAUST in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
MISS B. HAVEN was savagely defeated by ZOMBIE ASSASSIN in a 6 minute competition.
OBLIVION was demolished by CARLOTTA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
ROWAN was savagely defeated by CAPPUCCINO in a 2 minute gory Challenge battle.
THE KURGEN was outlasted by HOLLE' CHERRY in a unpopular 17 minute Challenge conflict.
HOURGLASS was overcome by KALYPSO in a exciting 5 minute master's Title match.
SARA F. murdered BEAR NEKKID in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided brawl.
TOTO was subdued by MINOR BLUE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched battle.
AHURA MAZDA overpowered WOZZECK in a 1 minute uneven bout.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN was devastated by FIGHTING TREE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LEPPADA was handily defeated by DASTER MARQUE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
LITTLE BIG MAN was beaten by RED DRAGON in a action packed 3 minute fight.
BEAR SKINRUG was subdued by ANTON LEVAY in a exciting 1 minute conflict.
B.B. CROSS viciously subdued CURSESHOCK in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory bout.
MAHARA was luckily beaten by SWAMP TRAP HAMMER in a 2 minute brawl.
CYANIDE was demolished by SWEET N LOW in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BLOOD RAYNE was beaten by GANGSTA CREEP in a popular 2 minute fight.
EVICSERATOR was outlasted by DARK HEART in a crowd boring 10 minute melee.
JACK DER RIERRE narrowly defeated CRYPT ANGEL in a exciting 1 minute battle.
BULLSEYE was vanquished by DAVID KARESH in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SON YUNG MOON viciously subdued LOW FAT LOON in a 1 minute gruesome match.
CAESAR devastated DRAMA QUEEN in a 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
DYERS EVE was beaten by RAZOR in a popular 1 minute fight.
HAMATULA was defeated by FEL STRIKE in a 3 minute brawl.
SHADE'S FORM was vanquished by SWAMP CLAW HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
RACECAR handily defeated STREET LEGAL in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MEDEE won victory over BLACK in a exciting 5 minute brawl.
WOW was luckily beaten by PHILP OF MACEDON in a action packed 2 minute fight.
BALOR overcame CONSTANTINE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome match.
FREMAN subdued FINCH in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
BRUTE was viciously subdued by MR. CROWLEY in a 1 minute bloody beginner's match.
ICHORID vanquished MAN HUNTER in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
CHARLOTTE was overpowered by BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN in a 2 minute one-sided struggle.
STELLA luckily beat BEOWOLF in a 2 minute beginner's fight.
JEALOUSY RAINS was overpowered by CASSIDY in a 1 minute uneven match.
MARBURG was demolished by OPAI in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
FREEBORN BLOODBLADE demolished RIKER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BOGBANE viciously subdued DROW in a 5 minute gruesome beginner's match.
TNT overpowered TWIGGY in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DETARTRATED was handily defeated by R.I. RED in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
PARTY TRAP was demolished by PRINCE IGOR in a 3 minute one-sided bout.
LETHAL was defeated by FADE TO BLACK in a 1 minute gory beginner's competition.
MR. REE was overpowered by MY SLEEP in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MARILITH was subdued by EGG HEAD in a 2 minute novice's duel.
SISTER MARY SUEELLEN devastated RICK TERSCALE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
RED DEVIL devastated MY PILLOW in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
SISTER MERCY lost to XERXES in a popular 3 minute novice's struggle.
PAM D MONIUM was overcome by PIZZA PIE PARTY in a 2 minute novice's struggle.
SILVER vanquished LOUIE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
TIMAT II vanquished STAG in a 1 minute uneven melee.
BIG BEER BELLY was easily killed by STUFF in a 1 minute one-sided match.
RIGORMORTIS unbelievably bested STREET LEGAL in a 1 minute beginner's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 42         AIMED BLOW        59 -  47 -  4      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     32         TOTAL PARRY      112 -  90 -  2      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  30         LUNGING ATTACK   107 - 100 - 11      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  25         WALL OF STEEL     61 -  59 -  4      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 23         SLASHING ATTACK   81 -  86 -  7      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   17         STRIKING ATTACK  129 - 166 - 12      44  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -  14 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         BASHING ATTACK    73 - 117 -  5      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  25 -  2      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  33 -  1      33  |

Turn 227 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         9 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK   11 - 12         3  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY       19 - 13     STRIKING ATTACK   19 - 23         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  3     BASHING ATTACK    10 - 15         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    16 - 14     WALL OF STEEL      5 - 12         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      KALYPSO 3603               21  15  0  115 DARQUE FORCES (396)
SLASHING ATTACK  ACE METRIC 3554            10   4  0  131 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
AIMED BLOW       KRAMER 5191                12   5  0  120 SECOND BANANAS (573)
STRIKING ATTACK  SARA F. 5349               10   2  1  116 SKELETON KEY (493)
WALL OF STEEL    TOTO 3914                  19  10  0   99 LAND OF OZ (217)
BASHING ATTACK   FIGHTING TREE 5235         10   9  1   78 LAND OF OZ (217)
LUNGING ATTACK   HUMBUG 5199                12   8  1   75 LAND OF OZ (217)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441      7   1  0   51 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was GRADE TEN 5638.  The ten other most popular fighters were ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 
B.B. CROSS 5323, BLACK 5706, SISTER MERCY 5526, MORWHEN 5686, and DAINTY CHINA 5564.

The least popular fighter this week was HOLLE' CHERRY 5437.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JACK & JILL 5310, THE KURGEN 5636, BLACK THUNDER 3885, DARK 
5733, STAG 5737, and LOUIE 5740.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

GREGOLA (47-5101) LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

HOURGLASS (47-5127) LAND OF OZ (217)

                 FACE-TO-FACE TOURNEY XXXV

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
KING PIN 282 (112-85-2)                1  4  0         ROYAL FLUSH          

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DISCO QUEEN 1992 (39-21-1)             4  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
NULN 5467 (10-2-1)                     6  3  1  DEAD   I HATE THEM          
HOURGLASS 5127 (19-2-0)                1  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
THE GREEK GUY 5478 (11-4-0)            1  3  0         I HATE THEM          
TOTO 3914 (19-9-0)                     1  3  0         LAND OF OZ           

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PROHIBITION 5607 (12-12-0)             7  3  0         INDIFFERENCE         
KRAMER 5191 (11-5-0)                   3  3  0         SECOND BANANAS       
SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 (11-3-0)        2  3  0         OLD HABITS           
TIMBER LION 5719 (13-0-0)              2  3  0         WOLFCATS II          
FIGHTING TREE 5235 (9-9-1)             1  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
LAST CALL 5606 (11-10-0)               1  3  0         INDIFFERENCE         

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441 (7-0-0)         2  3  0         ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ    

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
JACK MCFARLAND 5481 (6-1-0)            6  3  0         SECOND BANANAS       
JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534 (2-2-0)           6  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
RED DRAGON 5585 (4-2-0)                4  3  0         CHAOTIX BEASTS       
WILSON 5482 (5-1-1)                    4  3  1         SECOND BANANAS       
WOODY 5412 (6-2-2)                     4  3  0  DEAD   SECOND BANANAS       
DAINTY CHINA 5564 (3-1-0)              3  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
DYERS EVE 5535 (1-3-0)                 3  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
BLACKENED 5531 (4-0-0)                 2  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
CREAMED CAMEL TOES 5183 (0-0-0)        2  3  0         EXOTIC TASTES        
LIL BIT 5404 (3-2-1)                   2  3  0         FALLEN               
SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439 (4-3-1)         2  3  0         ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ    
CUP OF TOE 5433 (2-1-0)                1  3  0         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
PAZUZU 5513 (1-1-0)                    1  3  0         BAATANAR' RITEZU     
SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440 (1-6-0)         1  3  0         ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ    
SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442 (6-1-1)         1  3  0         ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ    
AROSAUR 5558 (0-0-0)                   0  3  0         ZOIDS                
BODAK 5589 (4-3-1)                     0  3  0         CHAOTIX BEASTS       
SHORTEST STRAW 5532 (2-2-0)            0  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438 (3-4-1)         0  3  0         ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ    

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TARANTELLA 5687 (3-1-0)               17  1  1         LOST SOULS           
RAZOR 5689 (0-2-0)                    11  3  1         LOST SOULS           
FAUST 5643 (2-2-2)                     7  3  0         THE OPERA            
CYRUS THE GREAT 5681 (3-0-0)           5  3  1         AGE OF EMPIRES       
JENKINS 5708 (1-0-0)                   5  3  0         THE MARAUDERS        
SOMEKIND OF MONSTER 5714 (0-1-0)       5  3  0         WOLFCATS II          
CARLSON 5709 (1-0-0)                   3  2  0  DEAD   THE MARAUDERS        
CAESAR 5679 (2-1-0)                    4  3  0         AGE OF EMPIRES       
MEDEE 5642 (4-0-0)                     4  3  0         THE OPERA            
PLEASURE SPOTS 5715 (2-0-0)            4  3  0         WOLFCATS II          
DARK HEART 5684 (3-1-1)                3  3  0         LOST SOULS           
LOW FAT LOON 5527 (1-1-0)              3  3  0         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
LOWELL 5569 (3-1-1)                    2  3  0         SECOND BANANAS       
MORWHEN 5686 (4-0-1)                   2  3  0         LOST SOULS           
BALOR 5586 (0-4-0)                     1  3  0         CHAOTIX BEASTS       
BLACK 5706 (1-0-0)                     1  3  0         THE MARAUDERS        
CASSIDY 5705 (1-0-0)                   1  3  0         THE MARAUDERS        
GLABREZU 5512 (0-1-0)                  1  3  0         BAATANAR' RITEZU     
RIKER 5707 (1-0-0)                     1  3  0         THE MARAUDERS        
UNLEASH 5603 (1-1-1)                   1  3  0         INDIFFERENCE         
WOZZECK 5644 (3-1-0)                   1  3  0         THE OPERA            
BARBAZU 5514 (1-0-0)                   0  3  0         BAATANAR' RITEZU     
CONSTANTINE 5677 (2-0-0)               0  3  0         AGE OF EMPIRES       
HAMATULA 5510 (2-0-0)                  0  3  0         BAATANAR' RITEZU     
ICKY ICED FLEA 5565 (1-1-0)            0  2  0  DEAD   MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
POUNCE 5717 (1-2-0)                    0  3  0         WOLFCATS II          

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RED DEVIL 5732 (0-0-0)                 6  3  0         LOST SOULS           
BASILISK 5723 (0-0-0)                  3  2  1  DEAD   CHAOTIX BEASTS       
SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671 (0-0-0)      4  3  0         OLD HABITS           
TWIGGY 5731 (0-0-0)                    4  3  1         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
DROW 5674 (0-0-0)                      3  3  0         CHAOTIX BEASTS       
GENO BREAKER 5555 (0-0-0)              3  3  0         ZOIDS                
FADE TO BLACK 5695 (0-0-0)             2  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
PRINCE IGOR 5640 (0-0-0)               2  3  0         THE OPERA            
CANNIBAL 5712 (0-0-0)                  1  3  0         WOLFCATS II          
PAM D MONIUM 5725 (0-0-0)              1  3  0         MISNOMERS            
SISTER MERCY 5526 (0-0-0)              1  3  1         OLD HABITS           
EGG HEAD 5730 (0-0-0)                  0  3  0         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
F 5700 (0-0-0)                         0  3  0         THE OPERA            
KONIG WOLF 5556 (0-0-0)                0  3  0         ZOIDS                
LIGER ZERO 5690 (0-0-0)                0  3  0         ZOIDS                
MARILITH 5691 (0-0-0)                  0  3  0         BAATANAR' RITEZU     
RICK TERSCALE 5724 (0-0-0)             0  3  0         MISNOMERS