DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/24/2006    Duedate: 02/20/2006

SCOMSS SWAMP ARENA

DM-47    TURN-233

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

B.B. CROSS
FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
(47-5323) [13-4-3,121]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

B.B. CROSS                     CASSIDY
FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)          THE MARAUDERS (619)
(47-5323) [13-4-3,121]         (47-5705) [6-2-1,59]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

AHURA MAZDA                    DEVOUT CHRISTIAN
KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)          NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
(47-5152) [12-13-1,71]         (47-5321) [12-8-3,47]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE OPERA (613)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)       77
2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      49      AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
3. ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)     46      Unchartered Team
4. CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)        31
5. AGE OF EMPIRES (617)        28      THINGS I DROOL IN (614)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      35  14  1 71.4   1/ 5 THE OPERA (613)          11  3 0
 2/ 7 THE OPERA (613)           29  16  2 64.4   2/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         11  4 0
 3/ 5 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   45  25  4 64.3   3/ 3 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 10  2 0
 4/ 2*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   16   9  1 64.0   4/ 6 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)  10  5 1
 5/ 4 LOST SOULS (618)          30  17  5 63.8   5/21 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     9  6 3
 6- 6 OLD HABITS (566)          42  25  3 62.7   6/ 1 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      9  6 1
 7/ 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   274 166 23 62.3   7/ 8 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     8  2 0
 8/ 3*THE MARAUDERS (619)       22  14  2 61.1   8/ 4*THE MARAUDERS (619)       8  4 1
 9/ 8 LAND OF OZ (217)         461 304 14 60.3   9/17 FREEDONIA (32)            8  7 2
10/ 9 SECOND BANANAS (573)      70  51  6 57.9  10/15 LOST SOULS (618)          7  4 0
11/10 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  52  41  5 55.9  11/18*BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      7  8 0
12/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         603 485 31 55.4  12/25*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   6  4 0
13/13 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     44  37  8 54.3  13/16 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      6  6 1
14/14*PALINDROMES (599)         24  21  3 53.3  14/10 SECOND BANANAS (573)      6  8 0
15/12 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     330 294 31 52.9  15/19*PALINDROMES (599)         6  9 1
16-15 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)     107  97  9 52.5  16/ 7 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          6  9 0
17/16 COFFEE RULES! (505)      146 135  5 52.0  17/12 SALEM'S LOT (605)         6  9 0
18/17 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     31  29  2 51.7  18/22 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      5  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-18 DARQUE FORCES (396)       99  99  6 50.0  19/ 9 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      5  6 1
20/24 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      29  29  4 50.0  20/20 COFFEE RULES! (505)       5  7 0
21/19 SALEM'S LOT (605)         24  25  2 49.0  21/13 MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    5 10 0
22/22 FREEDONIA (32)           158 165 17 48.9  22/24 BLACK STORM (171)         5 10 0
23-23*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     17  18  0 48.6  23/ 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    4  1 1
24/21 DARK PINNACLE (598)       39  44  5 47.0  24-14 OLD HABITS (566)          4  1 1
25/25 BLACK STORM (171)         86 102  9 45.7  25/11 DARK PINNACLE (598)       4  9 0
26/ 0*FALLEN SHADOWS (495)       5   6  0 45.5  26/29 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     4 11 0
27/26 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)      28  37  3 43.1  27-26*THE BOAR'S NEST (627)     3  2 0
28/27 MAESTUS MORTALES (588)    32  44  0 42.1  28-23 DARQUE FORCES (396)       2  3 0
29/29*BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      10  14  0 41.7  29-30*CODE RED (547)            2  8 0
30/30 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     51  76  3 40.2  30/36*THE SERPENTS (629)        2  8 0
31-31*THE BOAR'S NEST (627)      4   6  0 40.0  31/ 0*FALLEN SHADOWS (495)      1  1 0
32/32 TREBORS (232)             80 124  8 39.2  32/37 TREBORS (232)             0  6 0
33-38*CODE RED (547)            10  30  0 25.0  33-33 LIFE'S LESSONS (562)      0  4 0
34/39*THE SERPENTS (629)         2   8  0 20.0  34-38*OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     0  2 0
35- 0*HOBBITS IN THE HOO (615)   0   1  0  0.0  35- 0*HOBBITS IN THE HOO (615)  0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              *NORTH FORK YELLOW RAG*

     Turn 232 went off without a hitch, even if it happened the day after Christmas.
Man, what a great present!  Thank you, Snarky Klaus!  Yeah, Snarky finally got a
kill.  Too bad it had to be against one of my Knights.  No problem though...can you
guess who I'll bloodfeud with?  Or, will the Great and Boisterous Snarky play a Raven
on us and hide his little Tarzan in a patch of Jungle?!  We'll see next turn!
     And, HEY!  Who's that fluffy little thing sitting up there on the Duelmaster's
Throne?!  And...LOOK!  He's chewing on a red slipper!!!  Okay, so it's Oz's Toto.
Ah, right...he knocked Bombadil out like he was an old man...and...I thought (Tom)
Bombadil was immortal.  Guess we'll have to ask Tolkien about that one, eh?  BTW...
who's Tolkien?
     And, will you look at that!  Assur has cause to stick out his chicken breast...
er...I mean chest...TNT blew up and killed one of the standins, Mordant Deserter.
Guess the guy should have deserted SCOMS Swamp for this fight, eh?  And, Barnabas can
strut a little himself as he killed one of the Dark Arena monsters, Baphomet.  HEY!
WAIT A MINUTE!!  I'M *BAPHOMET!*  And, I ain't dead!!!  Oh, right...I'm immortal.
Bet ya wished otherwise, eh?  And...I heard Murker laughing in the stands when his
Cassidy snuffed out Marburg's life.  I think Dok Sik got sick to his stomach over it
as I heard him praying over the Porcelain God.
     Well...Maximillian pulled another magic trick out of his bag by going undefeated
this turn with a 4-0 turn.  Guess he should be proud.  Except...where's the other
one?  Now...get a 5-0 and we'll throw ya a party.  Oz pulled out a 4-1 turn.  Way to
go dude!
     Okay, here's my awards for Turn 232:  (They don't mean anything, but...it's fun
to write!)

Funniest Manager:  That goes to Snarky!  Loved the DM Column!  Now, that's what I
call creative!!!

Best Manager:  I'm giving that to The Historian.  He's still Top Team!

Best Supporting Manager:  Blackstorm!  Blackstorm!  Blackstorm!

Poet Emeritus:  Goes to Oz.  Just 'cause I said so!

Biggest Dipstick:  I'll award that to myself for the consecutive 0-5, 1-4, 2-3 turns
I've had and for making a flub (Oz's word, not mine) on Jan's scoring!

     Well folks, that's about all for this turn.  Just keep having fun, and
remember...don't let Maximillian scare you off.  He's a lot of fun, ya know?

                    Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (568)

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              *TURF WAR IV UPDATES*

*X-SYNDICATE/Impressarios, Cpt.                     (695), ( 46)
   Impressario/The Opera/Medee                      ( 26), ( +1)
   Raven/Lost Souls/Tarantella (TC)                 (528), (+12)
   The Historian/Age of Empires/Cyrus the Great     ( 76), (+27)
   Chaotix/Chaotix Beasts                           ( 13), ( -5)
   Murker/The Marauders                             ( 29), (+11)
*SCOMS TOWER/Slugbait, Cpt.                         (262), (+38)
   Slugbait/Mystic Orc Feast                        (  4), ( 00)
   Crip/Royal Flush                                 ( 27), ( +7)
   Oz/Land of Oz/Magic Wand                         (113), (+22)
   Mannequin/Second Bananas/                        ( 71), ( +9)
   Father O'Malley/Old Habits                       ( 47), ( 00)
*VENDETTA CARTEL/Kat, Cpt.                          (209), (+20)
   Kat/The Bear's Paw/Paul Bearer                   ( 51), ( +3)
   Street Legal/Life's Lessons/Homey D. Clone       ( 73), ( 00)
   Master Darque/Darque Forces/Orc Plague           ( 16), ( -5)
   Maximillain/Natural B. Killers 2                 ( 39), (+14)
   Sensei Jan/Salem's Lot                           ( 30), ( +8)
*ILLUMINATI/Talon Darkhart, Cpt.                    (171), (+30)
   Talon Darkhart/Adult Swim/Bender                 ( 83), (+10)
   Azraelus Prime/Fallen/Litl Bit                   (-37), ( 00)
   P-Diddy/The Dreaming/Dead Angle                  ( -7), ( 00)
   Nemesis/Zoids                                    (-12), ( 00)
   Hammer/All-Swamp Hammerz/Swamp Lily Hammer       ( 99), ( +5)
   Noachian/The Ripper Crew                         (  3), ( 00)
   Assurnasirbanipal/Palindromes                    ( 23), ( +2)
   Asmo Dius/Baatanar/Ritezu/Pazuzu                 ( 20), ( 00)
   Baphomet/Knights Templar                         ( 23), ( -1)
   Liam the Goth/Gothic Ministry/Demonic Hex        ( -3), ( +6)
   Buddy Lee/Dark Pinnacle                          ( 56), ( +9)
   Suiside/Code Red/Judge                           (-32), ( -1)
*DESOLATE EMPIRE/Abraxis, Cpt.                      ( 46), ( 00)
   Abraxis/Leaders/Mr. Crowley                      (  5), ( 00)
   Toker/Maestus Mortales/Gangsta Creep             ( -2), ( +3)
   Wasby the Great/Soulforge                        ( 11), ( 00)
   Dok Sik/Dok Sik Killas/Hanta                     ( 11), ( -3)
   Skullagrim/Skeleton Key                          ( 23), ( 00)
   Lasher/Mayfair                                   ( -2), ( 00)
   Goat/Desolate Ones                               ( 00), ( 00)
*THE IRON COUNCIL/Tripwire, Cpt.                    ( 35), ( 00)
   Tripwire/Of Wolf and Man                         (  3), ( 00)
   Jeckyll/Indifference                             ( 32), ( 00)
   Ultraist/Wolfcats II                             ( 00), ( 00)
*T.A.T.I.O.A.H.C./Mr. Coffee, Cpt.                  (-71), ( -2)
   Mr. Coffee/Coffee Rules/Freeze Dried             (-23), ( -9)
   Heathen/Misnomers/Richard Cranium                ( -8), ( 00)
   Snarky/Freedonia/The Kurgen                      (-26), ( +8)
   Blackstorm/Black Storm/Evicserator               (-26), ( -1)

     And, there you have it folks...we've got more turns to go!  Glad to see some of
you have kept the competition running.  I'm here till the bitter end.  What about
ya'll?
     Just remember...it ain't personal; it's business.

                              Baphomet

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Suicide, Hammer and Buddy Lee overlooked the crowd inside the Sweet Swamp
Tavern.
     "I do not know how these so called warriors even survived birth," Hammer said
turning his back to the banister.
     Suicide nodded.
     Buddy Lee stroked his black beard.  "I saw Oz the other day on the ruby side of
the bricks."
     "Crimson is more like it," Suicide put in.  He patted Hammer's left shoulder.
"I think it's time we get back into the shadows.  Too many faces are starting to look
up."
     Buddy Lee pulled out his enchanted diamond head war mallet, "Bring 'em on, or we
could go down and break some bones."
     "Bide out time," Suicide said.
     "C'mon man," Buddy Lee said going toward the steps.  "After a few cracked jaws
the others'll get the idea; be eating applesauce through a straw when I'm done."
     Someone started up the steps as Buddy Lee started down.  The person in the long
flowing robes got knocked for a loop as the mallet connected to its side.
     "Who's next?"
     A fireball landed in front of the steps, sending sparks up!
     Buddy Lee looked over his shoulders.  "That took the fun out of bashing!"
     "We gotta go out back," Hammer said pointing at a door.
     "To hell with that!" Buddy Lee yelled.  "We came in the front door and I am'a
leaving the same way."  He jumped over the last two steps that were still burning and
plowed his way through the crowd.
     "Let's go," Suicide said and Hammer followed him down the steps.
     "Hold it right there," a person said going to them.
     Suicide spread his hands forming a flaming staff.  "What?"
     "Nothing, thought you were someone else."
     The two walked out and saw Buddy Lee standing at the entrance.  "Thought you got
lost."
     "Not hardly," Hammer said and they headed to the Lizard's Tail Inn.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 533): PUSS of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 533): MARX of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENGROVE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 529): GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY of GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 527): EXODUS of THE OLD TESTAMENT (Ganolus Oakleaf, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 525): SUE SHE of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 263): LE NETTOYE of THE PENTARCHY (The Pentalque)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 518): MOLLY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): AI of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 515): SINNER of CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 513): LONIGAN of SACKETT'S & CO. (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 505): MORPETH of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 466): DART of WOLF RIDERS (Dr. Guts, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): HOT LIPS of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): TOTO of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 219): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 394): ZIPPER of RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 373): LION HEARTED of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): DUCKMAN of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 168): ENDU ENDU of DUDS (Amy A. Airhead, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 330): LOQUE of FACING WORLDS (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 327): TREENVA TARAL of SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 314): NATASHA of LETHAL HERITAGE (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 419): DRACO MALFOY of SLYTHERIN HOUSE from DAYLA KIV
                                (Rillion, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 533): ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 533): CULTS-R-US (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 529): POWER LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 527): MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 525): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 263): DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 518): CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 515): CALL THE PRIEST (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 513): THE SEWING CIRCLE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 505): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 466): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): A DEAL'S A DEAL (Applejack, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): AGE OF EMPIRES (The Historian, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 219): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 394): RESCUE RANGERS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 373): FEAR FACTORY (Var, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): POSSE (Rosebud, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 168): DARK RUNES (Liam the Goth, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAIYLA KIV (turn 330): CORPS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 327): SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 314): THE LEGENDS (Loch Ness, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 419): LEGIONS, etc. (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 527): GREENGROVE of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 528): PYOA of WYLDERNESS WYLD (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  28 SLAUGHTER PRIEST MEM (turn 263): LE NETTOYE of THE PENTARCHY (The Pentalque)
                                         DAISY HAMMER of FLOWER HAMMERZ (Hammer)
                             (turn 262): WYATT BURP of DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf)
                                         YOUNG JOAN of DODGE BULLETS (Uncle Wolf)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 517): WENDY of CROC FILES (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 261): IT FELT GOOD of WHY DID I DO IT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 513): DIABOLICFIEND of CHAOTICDISORDER (Bobby Bigfoot)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 238): SHARD of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 232): TOTO of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 372): MUDVAYNE of FEAR FACTORY (Var, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 359): DUCKMAN of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
                  (turn 358): $1.25 Q-STAFF of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 326): ARNAL REDAXE of SAND DANCERS (Lorana, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Come on, Dorothy.  Click those heels and take me home.  Yep, this doggie is
heading back to Kansas after one more fight here in SCOMSS Swamp.  One more fight.
     I knew when Dorothy brought us here in the tornado (She's good at finding one
for us to ride on) that this wasn't the Emerald City.  No way.  So I made like a
human, picked up the sword, ad fought my way home.
     When I started out, I was a 10-14-11-20-15-4-10 WS, but Oz was kind enough to
beef me up to 12-15-11-21-16-4-11, and I remain as such with good endurance, an
ability to take lots of damage, and a hosed normal damage.  (I told Oz that that
extra ST wouldn't do it, but....)
     I was doing pretty well, when, lo and behold, some wicked witch caught me and
killed me dead.  Yep, doggone gone little doggy.  Thank to Oz's magic, and my hard
work TVing the dead champion class, I was propelled back to North Fork (what it was
called at that time) and here I am.
     You might be surprised that I could bop off Bombadil for the title, but a master
attack goes a long way.  Actually I am pretty well rounded at mast+5 init, mast+1
attack, adex+3 parry, adex+1 rip, exp+3 defense and exp decise.  I wish I knew what
my favorite weapon was, but I am guessing the QS, as I have been 16/82/14 lately.
(Lots of missing data in that pile that went to the round file with my death.)
     Who to challenge?  Who to challenge?  There is a big turf war, you know, so Oz
will direct me to do what is best for the team.  One thing is for sure, as a
Consortium warrior, and a famed Consortium Waste to boot, I am not throwing a fight
for anyone!  Maybe I will challenge Bombadil again?  That win didn't take as long as
I thought it would.  Maybe his Middle Earth magic is fading?  I'd like to gulp up
that spider Tarantella, but arachnids fear dogs, and I will just bet the wimp is
"saving up" for The Face.  (That's what they all say when they FEAR.)
     It has been fun.  (Well, except for the death.  That hurt!)  It has been an
honor to fight in one of the greatest, toughest arenas in Alastari.  I'll miss all
the Ozers, and my buddies in SCOMS Tower, but I'm going home.  There's no place like
home.  There's no place like home....
               TOTO

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  THE 
OPERA now holds the crown and they are betting they can keep it.  Take a look at 
FEATHERS FLYIN''s act, as they have a 4-1-1 week and gain 16 places in the team 
ranking.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored bread (okay, I admit it's corny) 
is THINGS I DROOL IN, who swept up 13 places in the ranks.  Suffering under a 0-4-0 
record and dropping from 11th to 25th place were the DARK PINNACLE.  Keep trying!  It 
looks like the guys(?) at THE OPERA had a good week as they went 4-1-0 to put them in 
1st place.  I guess steroids help!  Hey everybody, watch out for B.B. CROSS, who flew 
up 40 points in the rankings after mashing MARAJUANA MAN like a melon.  Keep your eye 
on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was FIGHTING TREE, who dropped 
29 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with MINOR BLUE.  Unlike most 
arenas, TOTO managed to get his challenge off against the 13-6-0 ACE METRIC.  Our 
battling duelmaster TOTO has managed to hold the title, fending off ACE METRIC's none 
too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, ROYAL FLUSH.  Can you believe they are 
paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that ADULT SWIM was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of ADULT SWIM's warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be 
funny, but catch ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ's act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be 
fairly deft at running from ADULT SWIM.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of 
TARZAN, who was this week's most challenged warrior.  Can any one out there say 
'weasel'?  Oh well, just saying SWAMP LILY HAMMER will do.  She challenged 20 points 
down to trash LOWELL.  Definition of petty:  SWAMP LILY HAMMER subdued LOWELL, a 
mismatch of 20 points.  Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was CASSIDY, 
who was successfully challenged by ICHORID who had a mere 18 points more than 
CASSIDY.  I just want to congratulate CASSIDY on beating ICHORID.  He overcame his 
superior-ranked opponent and gained 23 points.  Congrats!  Challenging down 16 points 
was RED DRAGON.  Pretty soon he'll be using two shields and selling 'T.P.:  The only 
way to clean up' pins.  Definition of petty:  RED DRAGON defeated TARZAN, a mismatch 
of 16 points.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  We might as well mark the 
passing of BLACK, who was relatively new to the arena at 5-3-0.  Probably killed 
before his first shave.  This round goes to FEATHERS FLYIN', their 13-4-3 warrior, 
B.B. CROSS slew the 15-10-2 MARAJUANA MAN.  Stay tuned next week to see what happens. 
In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, FULBOTLNFRNTOME was mashed by DEMONIC HEX, 
who let FULBOTLNFRNTOME know that killing members of GOTHIC MINISTRY is a no-no.  
Knowing when to use the right tactics at the proper time is a very important step on 
the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, there's the manager of the SCOMSS SWAMP giving me the 'cut' sign (or is 
that 'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  And 
remember, you can pick your friends and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've 
heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 B.B. CROSS 5323              13   4  3   121       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE SETTLER 5322           12   8  1   112       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-TARANTELLA 5687               6   1  2   105       LOST SOULS (618)
 BOMBADIL 2724                21  12  0   104       FREEDONIA (32)
 MINOR BLUE 5326              11   6  1   103       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 ACE METRIC 3554              13   7  0   100       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441       11   3  0    97       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 CAESAR 5679                   9   1  0    94       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
-SISTER MARY SARAH 5137       15   3  0    92       OLD HABITS (566)
 ART PENDRAGON 5151           13  15  0    91       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481          11   3  0    91       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HUMBUG 5199                  15  11  1    90       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CYRUS THE GREAT 5681          8   2  0    87       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 FIGHTING TREE 5235           12  13  1    83       LAND OF OZ (217)
 HANTA 5443                    8   6  0    80       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 AHURA MAZDA 5152             12  13  1    71       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 WOZZECK 5644                  7   4  0    71       THE OPERA (613)
-JENNA 5099                   14  16  4    68       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393          10   5  1    68       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 MORWHEN 5686                  8   3  1    68       LOST SOULS (618)
 HALLE BEARY 5312              7  12  1    68       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SWAMP TRAP HAMMER 5442       12   2  1    67       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 BLOOD RAYNE 5489             12   9  1    67       DARK PINNACLE (598)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEPPADA 2257                 13  27  0    66       TREBORS (232)
 LOWELL 5569                   8   3  1    66       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318        13   7  0    64       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 GANGSTA CREEP 5391            9   7  0    64       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 PAUL BEARER 5187             11  12  2    63       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SWEET N LOW 5306             12  10  0    61       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 RED DRAGON 5585               9   4  0    59       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 CASSIDY 5705                  6   2  1    59       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439        9   5  2    58       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 PHILP OF MACEDON 5680         6   4  1    58       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 OPAI 5735                     6   1  0    58       DARK PINNACLE (598)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CYANIDE 5444                  6   6  2    56       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 RACECAR 5498                  6   3  0    55       PALINDROMES (599)
 SWAMP CLAW HAMMER 5438        7   7  1    54       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-SISTER SLEDGE 5341            6   2  1    54       OLD HABITS (566)
 DARK HEART 5684               7   4  1    52       LOST SOULS (618)
-GET THE POINT? 5097           6   8  1    51       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JACK & JILL 5310             10   9  0    50       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               5   1  0    50       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-RAZOR 5689                    4   2  1    50       LOST SOULS (618)
 SPECTRE 5654                  4   3  0    50       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 STAG 5737                     2   3  2    48       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
-FREEZE DRIED 5308            13   8  0    47       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321        12   8  3    47       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 MAHARA 2656                   9  18  1    46       TREBORS (232)
 EVICSERATOR 5358             10   7  1    42       BLACK STORM (171)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885            9  10  0    42       BLACK STORM (171)
 FRED BEAR 5348                8   9  0    42       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 RED DEVIL 5732                3   4  0    42       LOST SOULS (618)
 DON KING 5374                 6   8  0    41       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MEDEE 5642                    9   1  0    40       THE OPERA (613)
 SWAMP ROSE HAMMER 5440        6   8  0    40       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 DEMONIC HEX 5530              8   4  0    39       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-ORC PLAGUE 5501               3   3  1    39       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-CAFE AU LAIT 5344             8  11  0    38       COFFEE RULES! (505)
-JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          4   5  0    38       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 PRINCE IGOR 5640              4   1  0    38       THE OPERA (613)
 FROG DEMON 5795               3   2  0    38       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 ICHORID 5584                  7   3  0    36       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377          5  11  2    36       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 THE KURGEN 5636               5   5  1    36       FREEDONIA (32)
 DROW 5674                     5   2  0    34       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TNT 5499                      6   3  1    33       PALINDROMES (599)
 SIMON MAGUS 5806              2   2  0    33       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 APPIUS 5392                   8   8  0    32       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 CONSTANTINE 5677              6   3  0    32       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 JENKINS 5708                  6   2  0    32       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 MY MISO MUTE 4018             5   1  0    32       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 WOW 5495                      4   5  1    32       PALINDROMES (599)
 RIKER 5707                    4   4  1    32       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 TWIGGY 5731                   2   1  0    32       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 TARZAN 5542                   3   9  1    31       FREEDONIA (32)
 BLACK BALL 5520               8   5  0    29       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
-SISTER MERCY 5526             2   2  0    29       OLD HABITS (566)
 BEAR SKINRUG 5399             8   4  0    28       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494              6   6  0    28       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PARTY TRAP 5496               5   4  1    28       PALINDROMES (599)
-MR. REE 5406                  4   4  0    28       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          5   4  1    26       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 CRYPT ANGEL 5553              5   4  1    26       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-BLACKENED 5531                5   1  0    26       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-HOMEY D. CLONE 5637           5   3  0    26       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)
 TRESSA 5388                   5  10  0    25       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
 MY SLEEP 5657                 2   3  0    25       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-FADE TO BLACK 5695            2   3  0    25       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-MALARIA 5837                  2   0  0    25       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
-SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671     3   1  0    24       OLD HABITS (566)
-KILL*SWITCH 5809              2   0  0    24       DARQUE FORCES (396)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CAPPUCCINO 5382               4  11  0    23       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 YOGI BEAR 5745                4   1  0    23       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 MADAME BUTTERFLY 5792         3   1  0    23       THE OPERA (613)
-SHORTEST STRAW 5532           3   3  0    23       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 FESTUS 5861                   2   0  0    23       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 XERXES 5742                   6   1  0    21       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 SHADE'S FORM 5549             5   6  0    21       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 CHAOS BOAST 5780              3   1  1    21       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAGIC WAND 5771               3   2  0    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
-DRAYGON 5804                  1   1  0    21       THE BOAR'S NEST (627)
-RIGORMORTIS 5736              3   2  0    20       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-DYERS EVE 5535                1   5  0    20       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-DEADLY 4996                   4   4  0    19       CODE RED (547)
-LETHAL 4998                   1   7  0    19       CODE RED (547)
 PARAKEET 5830                 1   2  0    18       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 DRAGONFLY PIE 5760            2   0  1    17       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-GRIM 5803                     1   1  0    17       THE BOAR'S NEST (627)
 BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658     4   1  0    16       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 FREEBORN BLOODBLADE 5597      3   7  0    16       BLACK STORM (171)
 DETARTRATED 5497              3   6  0    15       PALINDROMES (599)
 BOA 5839                      1   1  0    15       THE SERPENTS (629)
 J. BORNE 5044                 1   0  0    15       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 DEATH KISS 5751               3   2  1    14       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 TEN IS RAQUET 5815            2   2  0    14       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 LOUIE 5740                    2   5  0    14       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-PANGOLD 5802                  2   0  0    14       THE BOAR'S NEST (627)
 AVATAR OF WOE 5850            2   1  0    14       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 MY PILLOW 5660                4   1  0    13       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 LEXX 5832                     1   2  0    13       FREEDONIA (32)
 STUFF 5656                    3   2  1    12       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-KILLER 4999                   2   6  0    12       CODE RED (547)
-MAN HUNTER 5000               2   6  0    12       CODE RED (547)
 FROZEN HORROR 5799            1   4  0    12       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659          3   2  0    11       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 SIEGE BEST 5797               2   3  0    11       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 FIDELIO 5859                  1   0  0    11       THE OPERA (613)
-BOGBANE 5500                  2   4  0    10       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-JUDGE 4997                    1   7  0    10       CODE RED (547)
 BUSTED WING 5864              1   0  0    10       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 ARSENIC 5836                  1   2  0     9       DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
 JIAN 4428                     2   2  0     8       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 FULBOTLNFRNTOME 5831          1   2  1     8       FREEDONIA (32)
 JADE FALCON 5805              1   3  0     8       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 BONECLAW 5857                 0   1  0     7       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
-ZILIN SHI 4430                1   0  0     6       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 BOQ 5873                      1   0  0     5       LAND OF OZ (217)
-SHAN 4431                     1   2  0     5       FALLEN SHADOWS (495)
 ROGER L'BEAU 5828             1   2  0     5       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 NILES 5860                    0   1  0     5       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-FRIZODO WITH A 40 5664        0   1  0     5       HOBBITS IN THE HOOD (615)
 ASP 5843                      1   1  0     4       THE SERPENTS (629)
 ARABICA BEAN 5858             1   1  0     4       COFFEE RULES! (505)
 ANGRY SALAD 5855              1   1  0     4       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 PETRONIUS 5867                0   1  0     2       MAESTUS MORTALES (588)
-XYRAGA 5801                   0   2  0     2       THE BOAR'S NEST (627)
-FOSTER 5800                   0   2  0     2       THE BOAR'S NEST (627)
 COBRA 5842                    0   2  0     2       THE SERPENTS (629)
 VIPER 5840                    0   2  0     2       THE SERPENTS (629)
-SISTER MARYKATE 5835          0   1  0     1       OLD HABITS (566)
 GALIUS 5865                   0   1  0     1       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-BAPHOMASHER 5849              0   1  0     1       LIFE'S LESSONS (562)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BONE FETISH 5796       0  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    VOLDO 5765            229 NOT REVE
PURE RAGE 5758         0  6 0 BLACK STORM 171       PUTRID PATRICK 19     233 NONE    
MARAJUANA MAN 3411    15 10 2 BLACK STORM 171       B.B. CROSS 5323       233         
ANVIL HUNTER 5750      3  3 0 DARK PINNACLE 598     CHAOS BOAST 5780      233         
STEAL SHANK 5487      10  3 1 DARK PINNACLE 598     TARANTELLA 5687       229 NONE    
CURSESHOCK 5234        7  8 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 229 NOT REVE

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
EBOLA (Z) 5447         4  6 0 DOK SIK KILLAS 595    BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408  229 REVENGED
MARBURG 5655           3  5 0 DOK SIK KILLAS 595    CASSIDY 5705          232         
FREMAN 5376            3 10 0 FREEDONIA 32          DROPSHOT 5402         230         
BONE GOLEM 5752        2  2 0 GOTHIC MINISTRY 592   FULBOTLNFRNTOME 5831  231 JUST REV
TRISTAN 5748           2  3 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   TARZAN 5542           232         
BONDS ON 'ROIDS 5408   7  2 1 LIFE'S LESSONS 562    CYANIDE 5444          231         
BLACK 5706             5  3 0 THE MARAUDERS 619     SWAMP BURP HAMME 5439 233         
LOW FAT LOON 5527      2  3 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  THE BARTENDER 26      233 NONE    
FAUST 5643             5  4 2 THE OPERA 613         SISTER SLEDGE 5341    231         
WILSON 5482            7  4 1 SECOND BANANAS 573    PHILP OF MACEDON 5680 231 JUST REV
SIDE WINDER 5841       0  2 0 THE SERPENTS 629      DRAGONFLY PIE 5760    233         
AMELA BUNDERSON 5339   8  7 0 SKELETON KEY 493      BLOOD RAYNE 5489      229 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

My Miso Mutt is my champion. -- Slugbait

Halle Beary -- Thank you for the Christmas present.  You were there when I needed
you. -- Humbug (Bah)

Lowell -- I beat YOU?  Are you having some Management problems? -- Fighting Tree

SNARKonfused -- Managers as stand ins?  Why those are deadly DA monsters in disguise!
The naming came from awards won during previous Turf Wars and five of them are named
for Fellowship Of The SCOMSS managers.  My favorite is Putrid Patrick. -- Oz The All
Helpful

Blackstorm -- Pushing?  Nah, but it may possibly be leaning. -- Oz The All Knowing

Mr. Possinger -- Welcome to The Swamp.  We are always glad to have good people and
great competitors in North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp. -- Oz The All Welcoming

Fulbotlnfrntome (or whatever) -- I really thank you for the great 17 point
downchallenge and affording me an easy win.  The wicked witch is dead!  You will be
too, the next time you try...uh...antics. -- Ding Dong

Lethal -- Congrats to you.  Great challenge and win.  You are far better than your
record indicates. -- Magic Wand

We are not in Middle Earth anymore, Bombadil! -- Toto
P.S.  There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Baphomet -- North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp should be the place for the continuing Turf Wars.
If you plan to try one else where, let us know as The Land Of Oz would then sponsor
one here in late Summer/early Fall 06. -- Oz The All Accommodating

X-Syndicate -- You will find three of SCOMS Tower at The Face at the same table--
Mannequin, Father O'Malley/Soultaker, Oz/The Consortium.  We look forward to meeting
you. -- Oz The All Informative

Morwhen -- Manners??!!  Me? -- (Bah) Humbug

Old Habits, Father O'Malley, Mystic Orc Feast, Slugbait -- What's the matter?  You
don't love us anymore? -- Oz The All Inquisitive

Raven -- Please be easy on my friend Mannequin for his dastardly downchallenging.  He
knows not what he does for he is both a Non-Andorian and a radical Democrat. -- Oz
The All Concerned

Baphomet -- It's not that I mean to be quiet, but I've only been able to spend 6
nights between 14 Oct and 3 Jan in my own house.  And at the end of the month, I get

to leave for another 17 days.  The stack of DM fights piling up beside my desk is
reaching unusual thickness.  Someone had better do something about this state of
affairs. -- Crip

Red Devil & the Lost Souls -- Not fighting an entire team and selectively using your
TV challenges.  Sounds like the tactics of a tourney manager wannabee. -- Jack & Jill
& the Royal Flush

Mahara -- Thanks for the skills, they've been painfully slow in coming. -- Don King

Swamp Lily Hammer -- Beware the touch of my weapon, it has been known to devastate
all forms of lilies. -- Ace Metric

Bear Skinrug -- For an inanimate carpet, you sure pack a punch. -- Drama Queen

Cobra -- Rough welcome to North Fork.  Sorry to say that I was also not at all
pleased about the results of that fight as not once did I hit the location I was
targeting. -- Ten Is Raquet

Toto -- Congrats on your Advancement to the SCOMS Tower on the Isle. -- The Flushers

All -- A later posted note related to Toto's favorites.  He was right as to his doggy
thinking that the quarterstaff was his favorite.  He is QS/VH/VL/Slash.  (It is a
mighty fine--or high tech--quarterstaff that slashes well!) -- Oz The All Amused

Raven -- Sounds to me like the pot calling the kettle black.  Is the play in the
Swamp too rough for you?  Let's revise the recent history of challenges you have
posted:
Turn 228     Tarantella vs Freeze Dried        Down 5
     "       Morwhen    vs Etienne Duplaix     Down 7
     "       Razor      vs Jealousy Rains      Down 16
Turn 229     Tarantella vs Steal Shank         Down 9
Turn 231     Red Devil  vs Homey D. Clone      Down 3
     "       Razor      vs Crypt Angel         Down 1
You have TC & TV challenges at your disposal and the best you can do is challenge
down?  Granted, a win is a win, yet you also brought up the idea of "where is the
sport in that challenge" in Dark Heart's comments to Lowell.  Seems to me that you
jumped to the front of the line to "cast the first stone" when it was not your place.
If you want to complain, simply say, "Mannequin, please take pity on us and quit
using all of your challenges against the X-Syndicate."  Your alliance (Tarantella)
leads the Turf War.  As such, I shall continue to challenge you until the end of the
contest--up, down, and sideways. -- Mannequin
P.S.  I'll watch your instructional tape before deciding to give Hugh a call.

Frozen Horror -- Mmmm, that was one tasty popsicle!!! -- Festus

Chaos Boast -- Yet another undefeated warrior bites the dust. -- Louie

Fighting Tree -- Ouch! and Ouch!! again!  Can't you find someone else to practice
with? -- Lowell

Philp of Macedon -- See you next turn! -- Just Jack

Baphomet -- Please list Niles 47-5860 as the new champion for Second Bananas. --
Mannequin, mgr. of Second Bananas

Bombadil -- Wonderful spotlight!  Almost worth leaving you on the throne.  Alas, some
of us are meant to be role players while others go on to star.  Lowell will be
looking for you on the sands this turn. -- Mannequin

Allow me to reveal to you one of the best planned and executed schemes of the decade.

Lost Souls and Raven is The Sentinel.  This first-class successful con game included
Sandman, Rillion, Manager, and DMobster.  A salute to these devious, entertaining,
and resourceful folk! -- Oz The All Amazed

Blackstorm -- Appreciate the support, but...Max doesn't have the intestinal fortitude
or wherewithal to run me out of here, nor exterminate my team. -- Baphomet

Oz -- Is that what consistent bad turns are called?  Flubs? -- Baphomet (flubbing A
LOT)

Jan -- Thanks for the update.  Happy to hear it. -- Baphomet

Lexl -- Frog legs...possum...rabbit...coon...it all tastes like chicken! -- Baphomet

     You must have more interesting tasting chickens in your part of the world. --
     Ed.

Barnabas -- Two challenges from you?  Something I should know? -- Baphomet

Appius -- Actually, I had forgotten.  We're even.  But...then again...I am a Delarq.
-- Baphomet

Snarky -- Dude...you're funny!  No, not ambidextrous...funny ha-ha. -- Baphomet

Raven -- Most times, it's all about having a good time and laughing.  Now...where's
that Taser you promised? -- Baphomet (grin)

Toker -- Arrogance can sometimes close one's mind to information and that leads to
ignorance.  If he wants to be ignorant...his choice. -- Baphomet

Arcane Angels -- Welcome to SCOMS Swamp...also called, *North Fork*.  I think you'll
find that most here are good folks and some of them are the best in the game. --
Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar (not one of the best)

Feathers Flyin' -- "a kill a turn, that's all we ask" -- SNARKblood

Ding Dong -- and I thought *I* had a... -- FULBOTLNFRNTOME

Heathen and the Misnomers -- electric shock paddles STAT...clear! -- SNARKzzaaAAP

Jade Falcon -- maltease...of course you are -- THE KURGEN

(al Lee she's a keeper Snarkerly)

Toto -- Whoa hey...
        It was a joke, a play.
        Back into the tomato with you!
        Sit...buckle...prepare for departure...
        Enjoy the view.
                             -- BOMBADIL (chuckle)

Scribe -- Thanks for the scoop...(sounds labor intensive). -- SNARKontentfornow

Madame Butterfly -- (in unexcited, but kindly tones)  Beautiful!  Magnificent!
Gasping!  Five-golden-stars!  Two thumbs!  And a must-see performance! -- LEXX (new,
but catching breath)

(yeah catching...where do we keep the net? -- SNARKwhitehunter) "a little opera goes
a long way")

Tristan -- Good elf.  Live in forest.  In swamp not live.  You die not easy too. --
Tarzan, homesick for jungle elves

(...geez!  You'd think Tristan'd been his gorilla Pa or somethin'. --
SNARKinsensitive)

Marajuana Man -- Yeeeah, you're the Master of Style. -- SNARKomebackbro

Raven and the scathin' p-ads -- I think I'm in love. -- SNARKheart

Welcome Tarly's Angels!  (TATIOAHC Rules!) -- Snarkomewagon

Thank you Baphomet, Mom and Dad, Honey (cancel the restraining order...please) --
Wow...it's an honor just to be nominated, but to RECEIVE the "Ripped-One-Stinkler"
award?!...I...I'm...the KING OF THE WORLD!!! -- SNARKingraven (at the risk of
sounding ungrateful, do I get more than just the one point for pounding Liam's Bone
Golem into a dusty death?)

Magic Wand -- Not enough magic. Or just bad timing. -- Lethal

Xerxes -- That was just too much.  I knew it had to end and I am totally glad it did.
-- Deadly

Shade's Form -- Nice, real nice, considering it was almost going the other way. --
Killer

The Slithering -- Be careful.  I know someone who has a snake fetish and might come
to look you up. -- Suicide, Watcher of Hell's Gate

Ahura Mazda -- Good to see ya move up in the ranks. -- Suicide, Watcher of Hell's
Gate

Asmo Dius -- Well I'll say this, you're my ally, brother and most importantly, my
friend.  Your enemies are mine.  I'm with you till the bitter end.  Bloody sands. --
Liam the Goth

Suiside -- Hum, there will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I
find.  I'd show a smile but I'm too weak.  I'd share with you, could I only speak
just how much this hurts me.  I'd tell you how it haunts me.  Cuts through my day and
sinks into my dreams, but I find that the light hurts more than the words. -- Liam
the Goth
P.S.  Keep those spots coming.

Baphomet -- What?  Let you have all the fun?  As if. -- Liam

Zoey -- We held hands on the last night on earth.  Our mouths filled with dust, we
kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the
leaves.  It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the
bottom of the river.  So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the
sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smells of burning was on you like a
disease.... -- Liam

Liam the Goth -- The cinders are falling like snow.  There is poetry in despair and
we sand with unrevoked beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.  Of blue and
grey.  The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness
is a mystery of curves and lines.  Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted
slowly outward and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation with each other.  I
decay, killed by the weakness, but forced to return.  I watch the stars as they fall
from the sky.  I held a fallen star to your lips and we wept...I fall into the light,
wanting the poisoned heart to scream in disgrace...swept off our feet by our misery,
we wept in the shadows. -- Zoey the Goth

30 December 2005
Just a reminder to all you online type people.  It is much appreciated if you send
your personals in PLAIN TEXT, rather than HTML or formatted text.  HAL, in his
infinite wisdom, doesn't DO formatting, which means having to unsnarl your personal
ads from bunches of extraneous...stuff.  So, if your e-mailer has a plain text
option, let it be your friend. -- Ed.
P.S.  Sometimes it's the formatted text which makes ads go astray.  Not often, but
sometimes.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LOW FAT LOON was barely slain by THE BARTENDER in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
PURE RAGE was murdered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
JACK MCFARLAND overpowered PHILP OF MACEDON in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
DEMONIC HEX overpowered FULBOTLNFRNTOME in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
CAESAR devastated CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a 2 minute bloody one-sided Challenge duel.
WOZZECK overpowered PAUL BEARER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
TOTO luckily beat ACE METRIC in a action packed 2 minute expert's Challenge melee.
ART PENDRAGON was vanquished by WHITE SETTLER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SWAMP LILY HAMMER vanquished LOWELL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CYRUS THE GREAT overpowered BLOOD RAYNE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
HANTA overpowered OPAI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ICHORID was devastated by CASSIDY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
SWAMP CLAW HAMMER demolished JENKINS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
SWAMP BURP HAMMER unbelievably slew BLACK in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
STAG was overpowered by LITTLE BIG MAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
JACK & JILL outwaited PRINCE IGOR in a unpopular 25 minute Challenge bout.
RED DRAGON devastated TARZAN in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
SWEET N LOW demolished RED DEVIL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
DRAMA QUEEN was savagely defeated by THE KURGEN in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
MY SLEEP was bested by FROG DEMON in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
SHADE'S FORM was overpowered by WOW in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
CRYPT ANGEL beat FREEBORN BLOODBLADE in a 2 minute Challenge fray.
LOUIE was vanquished by DROW in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
XERXES luckily beat TEN IS RAQUET in a popular 4 minute Challenge match.
ANVIL HUNTER was narrowly killed by CHAOS BOAST in a 3 minute brutal Challenge duel.
MAGIC WAND defeated DETARTRATED in a 2 minute gory Challenge duel.
ASP was savagely defeated by FROZEN HORROR in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge match.
ROGER L'BEAU lost to AVATAR OF WOE in a 3 minute novice's Challenge fray.
COBRA was handily defeated by LEXX in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
ARSENIC was vanquished by TNT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
JADE FALCON was savagely defeated by MADAME BUTTERFLY in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
BOMBADIL luckily beat HUMBUG in a popular 3 minute gory veteran's match.
FIGHTING TREE was overpowered by MINOR BLUE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MARAJUANA MAN was easily killed by B.B. CROSS in a 1 minute mismatched Title match.
HALLE BEARY overpowered RIKER in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
AHURA MAZDA demolished MAHARA in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided struggle.
MORWHEN overpowered ETIENNE DUPLAIX in a 1 minute one-sided match.
LEPPADA was viciously subdued by SWAMP TRAP HAMMER in a 2 minute gory expert's match.
CUP OF TOE beat DON KING in a 1 minute duel.
BEAR SKINRUG was overpowered by SPECTRE in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
SWAMP ROSE HAMMER was overcome by RACECAR in a exciting 2 minute duel.
GANGSTA CREEP overpowered CONSTANTINE in a 1 minute uneven battle.
DARK HEART unbelievably bested DEVOUT CHRISTIAN in a exciting 7 minute struggle.
EVICSERATOR overcame PARTY TRAP in a 2 minute duel.
FRED BEAR overcame ZOMBIE ASSASSIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute fight.
BLACK THUNDER luckily beat APPIUS in a 7 minute competition.
MEDEE unbelievably bested SIMON MAGUS in a exciting 6 minute brutal conflict.
TRESSA was overpowered by TWIGGY in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
BLACK BALL unbelievably bested SIEGE BEST in a 4 minute gory bout.
MY MISO MUTE handily defeated DEATH KISS in a 3 minute mismatched bout.
DRAGONFLY PIE slaughtered SIDE WINDER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
YOGI BEAR handily defeated VIPER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MY PILLOW luckily beat PETRONIUS in a crowd pleasing 7 minute bloody novice's fight.
PIZZA PIE PARTY was viciously subdued by FIDELIO in a 9 minute amateur's match.
BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN bested NILES in a exciting 4 minute amateur's fight.
STUFF was luckily beaten by J. BORNE in a 2 minute gory amateur's contest.
FESTUS overpowered ANGRY SALAD in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
JIAN was defeated by BOA in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
PARAKEET handily defeated ARABICA BEAN in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
BONECLAW was beaten by BOQ in a 2 minute beginner's fight.
BUSTED WING demolished GALIUS in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 27         TOTAL PARRY      148 -  96 -  3      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     20         WALL OF STEEL     75 -  60 -  6      56  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  16         AIMED BLOW        57 -  46 -  4      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  14         LUNGING ATTACK   124 - 124 - 13      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 14         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  17 -  2      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         BASHING ATTACK    87 - 113 -  9      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     8         STRIKING ATTACK  136 - 181 -  7      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         SLASHING ATTACK   71 - 102 -  3      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  17 -  1      32  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE      21 -  45 -  1      32  |

Turn 233 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       16 -  4     LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  9         4  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     AIMED BLOW         3 -  4         3  SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     8 -  6     STRIKING ATTACK   11 - 16         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  5     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  9         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  7         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  B.B. CROSS 5323            13   4  3  121 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
SLASHING ATTACK  WHITE SETTLER 5322         12   8  1  112 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
TOTAL PARRY      BOMBADIL 2724              21  12  0  104 FREEDONIA (32)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441     11   3  0   97 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
LUNGING ATTACK   HUMBUG 5199                15  11  1   90 LAND OF OZ (217)
WALL OF STEEL    HANTA 5443                  8   6  0   80 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
BASHING ATTACK   LITTLE BIG MAN 5393        10   5  1   68 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
AIMED BLOW       LOWELL 5569                 8   3  1   66 SECOND BANANAS (573)
PARRY-STRIKE     PHILP OF MACEDON 5680       6   4  1   58 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is AHURA MAZDA 5152.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321.  The ten other most popular fighters were SIMON MAGUS 
5806, HUMBUG 5199, PETRONIUS 5867, THE KURGEN 5636, NILES 5860, LOW FAT LOON 5527, 
TEN IS RAQUET 5815, RACECAR 5498, ACE METRIC 3554, and CAESAR 5679.

The least popular fighter this week was PRINCE IGOR 5640.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JACK & JILL 5310, FIDELIO 5859, PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659, BLACK 
BALL 5520, DARK HEART 5684, GALIUS 5865, ARABICA BEAN 5858, ANGRY SALAD 5855, MY 
PILLOW 5660, and VIPER 5840.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

ACE METRIC (47-3554) ROYAL FLUSH (48)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

TOTO (47-3914) LAND OF OZ (217)