DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/11/2006    Duedate: 08/07/2006

SCOMSS SWAMP ARENA

DM-47    TURN-239

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SISTER MARY SARAH
OLD HABITS (566)
(47-5137) [21-3-0,121]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LOWELL                         POSITION IS EMPTY
SECOND BANANAS (573)           
(47-5569) [12-5-2,125]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

HUMBUG                         LITTLE BIG MAN
LAND OF OZ (217)               NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
(47-5199) [18-14-1,90]         (47-5393) [12-9-1,55]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE SERPENTS (629)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LAND OF OZ (217)            57
2. SALEM'S LOT (605)           50      OLD HABITS (566)
3. SECOND BANANAS (573)        39      Unchartered Team
4. SMOKED OUT!!! (637)         30
5. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)        25      SMOKED OUT!!! (637)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 OLD HABITS (566)          63  31  6 67.0   1/11*THE SERPENTS (629)       11  4 1
 2- 1 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      41  21  2 66.1   2/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         10  4 0
 3- 3 LOST SOULS (618)          41  24  7 63.1   3/ 3 OLD HABITS (566)          9  3 0
 4/ 4 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   285 174 24 62.1   4/ 9 DARQUE FORCES (396)       9  5 3
 5/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217)         482 312 14 60.7   5/ 1 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      9  6 0
 6/ 7*SMOKED OUT!!! (637)        6   4  2 60.0   6/17 WARHAMMERS (75)           7  4 1
 7/ 8 SECOND BANANAS (573)      84  61  9 57.9   7/12 SALEM'S LOT (605)         7  8 2
 8- 9*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   26  19  3 57.8   8/ 6 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      7  8 1
 9-10 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     41  30  3 57.7   9/16 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    6  3 0
10/ 0 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     136 107  4 56.0  10/24*SMOKED OUT!!! (637)       6  4 2
11/11 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   52  42  4 55.3  11/ 5 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          6  8 0
12/13 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         616 501 32 55.1  12- 4 DARK PINNACLE (598)       5  3 0
13/14 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  63  54  5 53.8  13/ 7 SECOND BANANAS (573)      5  5 2
14/12 THE MARAUDERS (619)       26  23  2 53.1  14/10 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  5  7 0
15-15 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     53  47  9 53.0  15/15 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      4  5 0
16/16 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     346 308 32 52.9  16-18 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     4  6 0
17/20 SALEM'S LOT (605)         41  38  4 51.9  17-19 FREEDONIA (32)            4  6 0
18/19 DARQUE FORCES (396)      108 104  9 50.9  18/22 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   4  8 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      40  39  4 50.6  19-21*DOJO (634)                3  2 1
20-22 DARK PINNACLE (598)       51  53  5 49.0  20- 8 DESOLATE ONES (524)       3  7 0
21-25 FREEDONIA (32)           167 181 17 48.0  21-20 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     2  2 0
22/23 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     23  26  0 46.9  22-30*REPLICA STEEL (638)       2  3 0
23-27*DOJO (634)                 7   8  1 46.7  23-14 LOST SOULS (618)          2  3 0
24/26 BLACK STORM (171)         96 110  9 46.6  24/26 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     2  4 0
25-28 DESOLATE ONES (524)       76  93 12 45.0  25/28*EMPIRE RISING (633)       2  4 0
26/29 WARHAMMERS (75)          225 284 13 44.2  26/31*ARCANE ANGELS (632)       2  7 0
27/33*THE SERPENTS (629)        17  23  1 42.5  27-23 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     1  0 0
28/30 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      22  31  1 41.5  28/ 0 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      1  2 0
29-31*REPLICA STEEL (638)        2   3  0 40.0  29-13 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      1  2 0
30-32 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     60  92  3 39.5  30/32 BLACK STORM (171)         1  3 0
31/21*EMPIRE RISING (633)        2   4  0 33.3  31/ 0*AVENGERS BANE (636)       1  4 0
32/34*ARCANE ANGELS (632)        6  15  0 28.6  32-27*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   1  4 0
33/ 0*AVENGERS BANE (636)        1   4  0 20.0  33/33 THE MARAUDERS (619)       0  6 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

I'll bet several of you never expected to see one of these again, did you?  Well, too
bad, because Drake is back and you've once again got to suffer through another:

                            THE NORTH FORK ANNUAL REVIEW
                                      2003-2004
                                 (Turns 201 to 213)

As you can see, things are a bit out of date.  It's been about 3 years since the last
one of these so, now that I'm back from my hiatus, you'll see me doing a bit of
catching up over the next few turns.  Now, on to the report:

On turn 200 we had a total of 22 teams in the arena.  As of turn 213, we showed a
total of 31, for a net gain of 9 teams!  Always good to see some growth in the old
homestead.  We'll see if that trend continued as I catch up to the current date.

                        THE TOP 5 TEAMS OF 2003-2004
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               MYSTIC ORC FEAST         41  23   3   229   64.06%
               SPOONERTIKS              37  21   4   211   63.79%
               LAND OF OZ               38  24   2   223   61.29%
               THE BEAR'S PAW           34  24   4   251   58.62%
               COFFEE RULES!            35  26   1   224   57.37%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 32 fights were
               considered.
               The field consisted of  17  eligible teams.

Mystic Orc Feast continued their streak of being the only team to have appeared on
the top 5 list of every single report I've done for North Fork.  An impressive feat
in its own right.  However, they've still not managed to capture the best win/loss
record of 66.66% set by Royal Flush back in 01-02.

                       THE BOTTOM 5 TEAMS OF 2003-2004
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               MIXED-UP MIXERS           6  29   0    49   17.14%
               AVENGER HAMMERZ           7  25   0    65   21.87%
               DREWS CREW               16  29   1    78   35.55%
               THE MIDDLE WAY 3         19  33   0    83   36.53%
               KNIGHTS TEMPLAR          14  19   1   138   42.42%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 32 fights were
               considered.

2003-2004 was not a good year for the Mixed-Up Mixers, who landed at the bottom of
the stack.  Even though it was an abysmal performance, it was still better than the
record crushing 13.79% set by Wolfe Pack set sometime back in 99-00.

Those who remember the old Ten Turn/Annual Reports may notice that this is where the
Alliance records would normally go.  I'm leaving them out this time out because 1) I
have no idea who is in what alliance anymore and 2) I have even less clue as to who
was in what alliance 2 years ago.  Given that I'm a dedicated independent in the
first place, it hardly seems worth the effort under the best of circumstances.
However, since some folks are fans of all that alliance nonsense, if you folks will
sound off as to what alliance you're in, I'll make sure to include alliance totals
when I finally catch up to the 2005-2006 report.

                           THE TOP 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              MASS STUPIDITY        5068  11   1   0    72   91.66%
              HONEY BEAR            3032  10   1   0    85   90.90%
              FRUSTRATION           5067  10   2   0    85   83.33%
              DEEP FRIED LARD       4975  10   3   0    50   76.92%
              HOURGLASS             5127   9   1   0    60   90.00%
              MUTUS BRAXIMUS        5095   9   4   3    53   69.23%
              LEVIATHAN OF LARD     5113   9   3   1    54   75.00%
              BEAR ACUDA            4995   8   4   1    94   66.66%
              BOMBAY                5043   7   2   0    46   77.77%
              100% COLUMBIAN        4874   7   3   1    53   70.00%
              * - Base ranking determined by (3*Wins) + #Kills - #Losses.
              * - Only warriors with at least 6 fights and on currently listed
              teams were considered.
              The field consisted of  73  eligible warriors.

Another change that those familiar with the old report format may notice is a change
in the warrior rankings.  It used to be that I based the rankings on straight W/L
percentage with Recognition breaking ties.  However, some spoilspo--er, concerned
managers (don't worry I won't mention your name, Crip) suggested that 5-0/6-0
warriors didn't deserve to be at the top of the list.  So now, if you're going to be
undefeated, you'll have to do it for a while to make it to the top of the list.  It
is sad, though that there weren't any lossless warriors on the top of the heap going
by this new method.  In any case, congrats to Mass Stupidity for scu--er, fighting
all the way to the top of the rankings.

From a historical perspective, Jumbo Mumbo's 12-1-1 (set in 02-03) would have net him
a total of 36 ranking points, definitely beating out Mass's 32 points.  Thus, Jumbo
holds the record for most ranking points in a single year.

                          THE BOTTOM 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              HAWKEYE HAMMER        5061   1   7   0    16   12.50%
              LEWIS                 4989   1   5   0     6   16.66%
              WASTED EFFORT         5153   1   5   0     8   16.66%
              SIR GAWAIN            5149   1   5   0    12   16.66%
              AHURA MAZDA           5152   1   5   1    19   16.66%
              CARNAGE               5069   2   6   0    12   25.00%
              KALYPSO               3603   2   5   0     2   28.57%
              OSLOBEN BENBOBEN      4561   2   4   0    -4   33.33%
              OSWALD                4991   2   4   0    10   33.33%
              TONYA PHARDING        4924   2   4   0    10   33.33%
              * - Base ranking determined by (3*Wins) + #Kills - #Losses.
              * - Only warriors with at least 6 fights and on currently listed
              teams were considered.

Surprisingly, there were no 0-fers on this list.  Hawkeye's 1-7 translates into -4
ranking points, which, if I compare it to the old 0-fer loss record of 0-7 (held by
Olgon Puy), means that Olgon holds the record at -7 ranking points in a single year.

                           TOP FIVE TEAM RECOGNITION
                   2003-2004 TOTAL       |       SINGLE TURN
            Team                   Rec   |  Team                  Rec
            ----                   ---   |  ----                  ---
            THE BEAR'S PAW         251   |  FUN FUN HA HA          78
            MYSTIC ORC FEAST       229   |  THE BEAR'S PAW         68
            COFFEE RULES!          224   |  BORDEAUX - SAINTE      67
            LAND OF OZ             223   |  OLD HABITS             62
            SPOONERTIKS            211   |  MYSTIC ORC FEAST       58

A nice job by Kat, pouncing to the top of the 2003-2004 Total Recognition gain.
However, that comes to an average 19.3 per turn which doesn't come close to the Royal
Flush record of 27.4 per turn.  Similarly, Fun Fun Ha Ha falls short of the Flush's
87 point single turn ace of a record.

                           TOP TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                2003-2004 TOTAL         |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       BEAR ACUDA            4995   94  |  CUP OF CAT            4926   41
       HONEY BEAR            3032   85  |  JILL KELLY            5087   32
       FRUSTRATION           5067   85  |  UR BRAIN ON EGG       4703   31
       MASS STUPIDITY        5068   72  |  CRISTER MOFFEE        5289   28
       CUP OF CAT            4926   66  |  SEVEN OF NINE         4940   26
       WITCHCRAZE            5201   66  |  BEARNAISE             5114   26
       PROPHET OF NTH        5215   63  |  PERFECT PARRI         4967   26
       HOURGLASS             5127   60  |  BLACK JACK SHELACK    4850   26
       ART PENDRAGON         5151   58  |  GREGOLA               5101   25
       LEVIATHAN OF LARD     5113   54  |  STRAW FIRE            4350   24

Bear Acuda swam to the top of the recognition pile in 03-04.  At an average of 7.2
per turn though, it's no where close to the record 9.7 per turn held by Wolfgang Duck
for the past forever.  Cup of Cat, on the other hand, actually tied the old single-
turn record of 41 points and thus went into the record books along side Steve
McQueen.

                         BOTTOM TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                 2003-2004 TOTAL        |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       THE MIGHTY SORE       4490  -38  |  THE MIGHTY SORE       4490  -85
       DICK BRAINY           4936  -21  |  BEARFOOT              4875  -42
       BROOMSTICK            4474  -20  |  NEEVA                 3670  -37
       NEEVA                 3670  -17  |  BROOMSTICK            4474  -37
       UR BRAIN ON EGG       4703  -16  |  UR BRAIN ON EGG       4703  -34
       VALLET                4963  -15  |  STROKE BROKER         5094  -31
       CAN'T BEARIT          4994  -15  |  UR BRAIN ON EGG       4703  -31
       LAYTON                5098  -15  |  STRAW FIRE            4350  -28
       WITCHY WOMAN          4418   -9  |  100% COLUMBIAN        4874  -27
       SMURF NINJA           4507   -8  |  JILL KELLY            5087  -27

Perhaps, upon reflection, I shouldn't have sent The Mighty Sore to the Dark Arena
upon his graduation.  Fortunately, an average of -2.9 per turn wasn't enough to
dethrone King Uvdahell's -7.9 per turn recognition loss record.  Likewise, King U.
still holds the single turn record of -112 points.

                         STYLE MASTERS OF YEAR 2003-2004
           Style                  Warrior                ID      Turns
           -----                  -------                --      -----
           SLASHING ATTACK        COURAGE                4552       10
           AIMED BLOW             TENT IN QUARANTINO     4816        9
           PARRY-LUNGE            BEAR ACUDA             4995        9
           TOTAL PARRY            HONEY BEAR             3032        9
           STRIKING ATTACK        UR BRAIN ON EGG        4703        7
           PARRY-RIPOSTE          BEAR NEKKID            5126        6
           BASHING ATTACK         SHELDON                4111        3
           LUNGING ATTACK         CUP OF CAT             4926        3
           LUNGING ATTACK         STRAW FIRE             4350        3
           WALL OF STEEL          101 PROOF!!            4495        3
           WALL OF STEEL          JUMBO MUMBO            4714        3

Here's something I've never tracked in North Fork:  who best mastered their style
over the year.  Courage led the pack by being the top of his style for 10 total turns
out of the entire year.  As this is the inaugural reporting of this category, he also
gets put down as the record holder.  See it pays to be brave.

                               RULERS OF THE SANDS
                                  Chartered            Unchartered
       Turn  Duelmaster           Recognition Leader   Recognition Leader
       ----  ----------           ------------------   ------------------
       201   JUMBO MUMBO          JUMBO MUMBO          POSITION IS EMPTY
       202   JUMBO MUMBO          JUMBO MUMBO          DELARUE
       203   JUMBO MUMBO          JUMBO MUMBO          MIMI
       204   101 PROOF!!          THE MIGHTY SORE      NEER BEAR
       205   STRAW FIRE           THE MIGHTY SORE      FRUSTRATION
       206   STRAW FIRE           STRAW FIRE           FRUSTRATION
       207   BLACK JACK SHELACK   HONEY BEAR           FRUSTRATION
       208   100% COLUMBIAN       HONEY BEAR           FRUSTRATION
       209   HONEY BEAR           HONEY BEAR           FRUSTRATION
       210   100% COLUMBIAN       100% COLUMBIAN       SHELDON
       211   HONEY BEAR           HONEY BEAR           SHELDON
       212   HONEY BEAR           HONEY BEAR           PROPHET OF NTH
       213   CUP OF CAT           CUP OF CAT           PROPHET OF NTH

Jumbo Mumbo was both Duelmaster and Chartered Recognition Leader 23% of the available
turns for the year.  However, this falls short of the records held by Ten
Commandments (40% DM and 30% CRL).  On the Unchartered front, Frustration left the
competition despondent by holding the Unchartered Recognition Leader spot for 38% of
the year.  However, it remains Wolb Demia with the all-time record of 50% (set in
2001-2002).

                                 THE FANS SPEAK
               Popularity           This                 This Week's
         Turn  Leader               Week's Favorite      Least Favorite
         ----  ------               ---------------      --------------
         201   THREEKARD            THREEKARD            MASS STUPIDITY 5068
         202   THREEKARD            THREEKARD            RAINBOW 4553
         203   100% COLUMBIAN       STRAW FIRE           BOMBAY 5043
         204   100% COLUMBIAN       100% COLUMBIAN       KING CRAB 4983
         205   100% COLUMBIAN       CUP OF CAT           BEARNAISE 5114
         206   100% COLUMBIAN       101 PROOF!!          BOMBAY 5043
         207   100% COLUMBIAN       AHURA MAZDA          HONEY BEAR 3032
         208   100% COLUMBIAN       STROKE BROKER        MASS STUPIDITY 5068
         209   100% COLUMBIAN       AHURA MAZDA          HEX ON THE LEACH 5072
         210   100% COLUMBIAN       REGGIE               FE MALE 5211
         211   BELANNA TORRES       BEAR ACUDA           SISTER MARY SARAH 5137
         212   CUP OF CAT           NEEVA                KALYPSO 3603
         213   CUP OF CAT           COURAGE              MASS STUPIDITY 5068

Folks loved that genuine Columbian in 03-04, making him Popularity Leader for 62% of
the year.  However, Insolent Idiot still held the record with a 77% run.  This Week's
Favorite, as ever, proved more volatile as only Threekard and Ahura Mazda managed to
repeat.  15% was, of course, well short of Insolent Idiot's 20% of the year record
set in 01-02.  On the other end of the spectrum, Mass Stupidity was most reviled for
23% of the year, which was well short of the 40% record held by Biblish.

                                POPULARITY LISTS
      Most                                     Least
      Popular List         ID    Score* | Popular List         ID    Score*
      ------------         ----  ------ | ------------         ----  ------
      100% COLUMBIAN       4874      60 | FRUSTRATION          5067    -65
      BELANNA TORRES       4898      36 | DEEP FRIED LARD      4975    -40
      BEAR ACUDA           4995      29 | BOMBAY               5043    -32
      CUP OF CAT           4926      28 | HONEY BEAR           3032    -31
      MAYHEM               5066      25 | RAINBOW              4553    -30
      STRAW FIRE           4350      25 | SIR GALAHAD          5148    -30
      QUEEN OF DENIAL      4896      24 | MASS STUPIDITY       5068    -27
      SUGAR CUBE           4617      24 | ESTADIEU             5205    -22
      BEARFOOT             4875      23 | CAPTAIN MARBLE       4634    -21
      CRABBS               5093      21 | MISFORTUNE COOKIE    5275    -18
                                        | SISTER MARY SARAH    5137    -18
      * - Scores derived from position in Most Popular and Least Popular Lists

Just as a reminder of how the scoring in this category works: A warrior gets 11
points for being This Week's Favorite, then first place on the 'Other Ten Most
Popular Warriors' lists nets 10 points on down to 1 for 10th place.  Least popular
works the same way, but with negative points.

So, 100% Columbian proved well loved enough to top the old record of 58 points set by
himself in 01-02.  For fan hatred, Frustration blew away Captain Marble's -58 point
record.  Somehow it just seems appropriate that the fans deeply loathed someone named
Frustration.

                            THE FEARD AND THE AFRAID
                    Turn  Most Avoided         Most Avoiding
                    ----  ------------         -------------
                    201   THE BEAR'S PAW       ROYAL FLUSH
                    202   SPOONERTIKS          BORDEAUX - SAINTES
                    203   CARNIVAL             ROYAL FLUSH
                    204   CARNIVAL             MYSTIC ORC FEAST
                    205   ROYAL FLUSH          CARNIVAL
                    206   SPOONERTIKS          CARNIVAL
                    207   ROYAL FLUSH          LAND OF OZ
                    208   COFFEE RULES!        THE BEAR'S PAW
                    209   SPOONERTIKS          COFFEE RULES!
                    210   COFFEE RULES!        MIXED-UP MIXERS
                    211   KNIGHTS TEMPLAR      MIXED-UP MIXERS
                    212   SKELETON KEY         ROYAL FLUSH
                    213   KNIGHTS TEMPLAR      LAND OF OZ

The Spoonertiks proved scariest by being the most avoided team 3 times in 2003-2004.
That tied the record held jointly by both Royal Flush and Coffee Rules!  As for who
did the most running, that was Royal Flush at 3 times over the year.  However, 23% of
the year fell short of Mystic Orc Feast's 30% of turns record.

                      THE 5 LONGEST FIGHTS OF 2003-2004
FRUSTRATION slimly won victory over RAINBOW in  31  minutes
FE MALE outwaited MISFORTUNE COOKIE in  26  minutes
ESTADIEU outwaited MISFORTUNE COOKIE in  26  minutes
SISTER MARY SARAH outlasted HEX ON THE LEACH in  26  minutes
FRANC N' STEEN was outlasted by HONEY BEAR in  22  minutes
* - The average fight length was 2.84 minutes.

Manic Fuhrer's 43 minutes still stood as the longest fight covered in these reports
of mine.  Our average fight time was also short of the record (3.61 minutes).

                THE 5 HIGHEST FIGHT TIME TOTALS OF 2003-2004
                        Name                  Total Time
                        ----                  ----------
                        FRUSTRATION              130
                        RAINBOW                  101
                        MASS STUPIDITY            91
                        HONEY BEAR                87
                        DEEP FRIED LARD           83

An average of 10 minutes per fight was pretty impressive, but fell well short of the
record 16.2 minutes per fight average held by Tchmil (set back in 01-02).

                             THE TOP 10 UPCHALLENGES
Challenger           Challenged           Rec
----------           ----------           ---
CUP OF CAT           HONEY BEAR            54 (A full 100 points shy of Sir
                                              Lancelot's record.)
TENT IN QUARANTINO   UR BRAIN ON EGG       50 (Just what was *Tent's* brain on
                                              when he made this challenge?)
THREEKARD            JUMBO MUMBO           45
BLACK JACK SHELACK   STRAW FIRE            43 (I hope you brought an
                                              extinguisher.)
SUGAR CUBE           THE MIGHTY SORE       39
BLACK JACK SHELACK   THE MIGHTY SORE       37 (The fight that proved who the
                                              best 3-name warrior was.)
THREEKARD            JUMBO MUMBO           36
BLACK JACK SHELACK   UR BRAIN ON EGG       35 (Could 3 names beat 4?)
BEAR ACUDA           RAINBOW               32
BEARNAISE            WOLVERINE             31

                           THE WORST 10 DOWNCHALLENGES
Challenger           Victim               Rec
----------           ------               ---
COURAGE              PAULA BONES          -21 (Just barely over 1/3 of Wolfgang
                                              Duck's -60 record.)
SUGAR CUBE           KALYPSO              -21 (Not very sweet of you.)
NEER BEAR            WASTED EFFORT        -15 (I understand that near beer is a
                                              wasted effort, but Neer Bear?)
101 PROOF!!          FOLMOR GRIGG         -14
CHAOS                LEVIATHAN OF LARD    -13
RAGNAROK             T'POL                -12
LEVIATHAN OF LARD    CARNAGE              -10 (What else would you expect of
                                              someone with *that* name?)
RAINBOW              KALYPSO               -9 (Shame on you, Oz.)
BRONS                KENSAI                -9
TARRED MEANY         WITCHCRAZE            -9
* - Bloodfeuds and challenges by the Chartered Recognition Leader were excluded.
* - The average recognition difference for a challenge was 6.57 points.

We got a new record average recognition difference, beating out 6.43 from 01-02.

                                  KILLS REPORT
          Total Kills:   32
          Team                 Kills | Warrior              ID    Kills
          ----                 ----- | -------              ----  -----
          THE JESUITS              5 | MUTUS BRAXIMUS       5095      3
          THE BEAR'S PAW           4 | PAUL BEARER          5187      2
          SPOONERTIKS              4 | HUGR                 5170      2
          MYSTIC ORC FEAST         3 |

Much better than 02-03.  Total kills were over 3 time's the previous year's, though
2.46/turn was still well short of our 4.1/turn record from 00-01.  Also, The Jesuits,
while deadly, couldn't beat Mystic Orc Feast's 0.7 per turn record.  Likewise, Mutus
Braximus's 0.23 kills per turn didn't match Pacifism's 0.3 per turn average.

                                 TOURNEY REPORT
       Tournament       Level          Warrior                   Record
       ----------       -----          -------                   ------
       Summer 03        Primus         KING PIN 282              6-3-0
       Summer 03        Adepts         CJ 4752                   8-2-0 Dead
       Summer 03        Initiates      ACE BAILEY 4948           7-3-0
       Summer 03        Apprentices    KING CRAB 4983            7-3-0
       Fall 03          Champions      100% COLUMBIAN 4874       8-2-0
       Fall 03          Adepts         ACE BAILEY 4948           7-3-0
       Fall 03          Apprentices    BOMBAY 5043               8-2-0
       Winter 04        None           None                      None
       Spring 04        Freshman       STEVE MCQUEEN 3908        8-3-0
       Spring 04        Apprentices    ART PENDRAGON 5151        8-3-0
       Spring 04        Apprentices    AHURA MAZDA 5152          7-3-0
       Spring 04        Apprentices    CORPULENT CORPSE 5250     7-3-0
       Spring 04        Apprentices    SIR GALAHAD 5148          7-3-0

For some reason, I couldn't find any report on North Fork entries in the Winter 04
Face.

                                    GRADUATES
100% COLUMBIAN (4874), 101 PROOF!! (4495), BEAR KEEPER (3782), BLACK JACK SHELACK
(4850), GRINNON BEARIT (2955), HONEY BEAR (3032), INCREDIBLE SULK (4511), JUMBO MUMBO
(4714), MARY ANN (4378), STRAW FIRE (4350), SUGAR CUBE (4617), TENT IN QUARANTINO
(4816), THE MIGHTY SORE (4490), THREEKARD (4600), UR BRAIN ON EGG (4703), and ZEEL
BEBUB (4713).

Sixteen graduates put us over the old 1 graduate per turn average record.

                                    NEW TEAMS
AVENGER HAMMERZ, BORDEAUX - SAINTE, CHEAP THRILLS, DUR EDHEL, EXALTED PATH, FEATHERS
FLYIN', FUN FUN HA HA, KILL @ WILL, KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, KWANKAS, MANEGERIAL MAYHEM,
MIXED-UP MIXERS, MY DAY, NATURAL B. KILLERS 2, OLD HABITS, RAT SALAD, SECOND BANANAS,
STRETSAMLEUD, and SWEET DESIRES.

Nineteen new teams in 13 turns was damned impressive.  However, it was still shy of
our record 19 in 10 turns, set during the original Turf War back in 02-03.

Well, that covers 2003 to 2004.  Tune in next turn where I'll cover 2004-2005.  Then,
in two turns I'll bring us up to date by reporting on 2005-2006.  Remember, if you
tell me who you are, what team you run and what alliance you're with, I'll include an
Alliance Record report when I cover 2005-2006.

                                    -- Drake

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt SCOMSS SWAMP will ever be the same.  It seems the training can make the 
difference, as THE BEAR'S PAW is pushed out of top team by THE SERPENTS, who came 
from 11th with a 5-0-1 this turn.  I understand that The Warty Toad is buying the 
drinks for WARHAMMERS tonight, to honor their rise to 6th after this turns 3-0-0.  
Hmmm.  Now, what did these guys have for breakfast this morning?  SMOKED OUT!!! has 
turned a 3-2-1 into 10th place from 24th.  Give me the recipe!  The MYSTIC ORC FEAST 
guild has had a 3-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future.  You never know 
where this kind of thing can lead.  WHITE SETTLER has lost to SWAMP LILY HAMMER, 
falling 21 points, while helping make NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 a 1-3-0 turn.  The 
attempts to dethrone the Duelmaster have failed, and SISTER MARY SARAH remains SCOMSS 
SWAMP's top warrior for another turn.  Can someone confirm a rumor for me?  I hear 
the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at The Warty Toad until they win.  
Maybe?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  I also notice that the AGE OF EMPIRES 
stable was the most avoided team this turn.  Come on SCOMSS SWAMP, what are you 
afraid of?  And guess who avoided AGE OF EMPIRES stable the most?  Believe it or not, 
it was LAND OF OZ.  Anyone surprised?  The most challenged warrior this turn was 
DARQUE FORCES' warrior BOGBANE.  More fighters challenged him than challenged the 
Duelmaster!  In a brave attempt, LOWELL from SECOND BANANAS challenged up 19 points 
to fight CLINTONLIKESBUSH from the NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 stable.  LOWELL perhaps got 
his just desserts, seeing as he put to death CLINTONLIKESBUSH and ended up with 125 
recognition points.  AVATAR OF WOE of SALEM'S LOT had better have a good reason for 
challenging down 10 points in a challenge which she won.  I thought AVATAR OF WOE 
showed great skill and promise when she defeated T.H.C..  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  You gotta do what you gotta do.  DRAKE'S COMICS has sent CAPTAIN 
MARBLE to the Dark Arena.  The deed is done.  Lift the ale, and toast the memory.  
The grave that SALEM'S LOT had dug for SHADE'S FORM may yet be filled with the body 
of MURDEROUS MARK.  Seldom are the likes of this to be seen.  SHADE'S FORM lives 
still!  Banners at half mast, warriors, NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 has lost 
CLINTONLIKESBUSH, and you might say all of SCOMSS SWAMP has felt the loss, except 
maybe SECOND BANANAS.  CASSIDY has departed SCOMSS SWAMP, leaving THE MARAUDERS 
without their 8-5-1 warrior.  Question, just what was his team doing at the taverns 
last night?  Congratulations go out to WARHAMMERS, with TEMPUS revenging a bloodfeud 
against BOGBANE of DARQUE FORCES.  A brave warrior does not carry a red shield, he 
has nothing to cover or hide when the fight is over.  Consider well.   
     I like this place, SCOMSS SWAMP, the taverns have old wine, and young serving 
girls.  Who could ask for more?  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet 
again, keep your swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until the sun next rises and 
my pen sets to paper-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SISTER MARY SARAH 5137       21   3  0   121       OLD HABITS (566)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-B.B. CROSS 5323              16   5  4   140       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
-CYRUS THE GREAT 5681         11   3  0   139       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 LOWELL 5569                  12   5  2   125       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-RED DEVIL 5732                7   4  0   106       LOST SOULS (618)
-MINOR BLUE 5326              13   8  1   104       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 FRED BEAR 5348               14   9  0   100       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441       13   7  0    95       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SISTER SLEDGE 5341           11   3  1    93       OLD HABITS (566)
 RED DRAGON 5585              13   6  0    92       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
-MORWHEN 5686                 10   5  2    92       LOST SOULS (618)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HUMBUG 5199                  18  14  1    90       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               9   1  1    88       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481          14   6  0    85       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-CAESAR 5679                  10   4  0    81       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
-OPAI 5735                     9   3  0    81       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-SPECTRE 5654                  7   3  1    81       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RAZOR 5689                    7   3  2    80       LOST SOULS (618)
-WYRD 5167                    11   6  0    79       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 DON KING 5374                 9  11  0    78       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PAUL BEARER 5187             13  16  2    73       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 ORC PLAGUE 5501               6   3  2    72       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 JACK & JILL 5310             14  11  0    71       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SUCULANT 3589                13  14  1    70       WARHAMMERS (75)
-BLOOD RAYNE 5489             14  10  1    68       DARK PINNACLE (598)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ICHORID 5584                 10   6  1    66       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 MAGIC WAND 5771               8   3  0    66       LAND OF OZ (217)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439       12   8  2    64       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 DROW 5674                    10   3  0    64       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 TEMPUS 4635                  11  14  1    62       WARHAMMERS (75)
-MY SLEEP 5657                 5   4  0    62       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 SISTER MERCY 5526             6   4  1    61       OLD HABITS (566)
 BEAR SKINRUG 5399            12   6  1    59       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321        14  12  3    57       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-DEMONIC HEX 5530             10   4  0    57       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671     7   3  1    57       OLD HABITS (566)
 BOQ 5873                      7   0  0    57       LAND OF OZ (217)
-TARZAN 5542                   6  11  1    57       FREEDONIA (32)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KILL*SWITCH 5809              4   1  1    56       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393          12   9  1    55       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885           12  11  0    55       BLACK STORM (171)
 EVICSERATOR 5358             11  10  1    53       BLACK STORM (171)
-PHILP OF MACEDON 5680         6   5  1    52       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 TEN IS RAQUET 5815            3   7  0    49       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SHADE'S FORM 5549             8   9  1    47       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          6   6  0    47       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 MY MISO MUTE 4018             7   3  0    45       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          9   6  1    43       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494              9   9  0    42       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 JENKINS 5708                  8   6  0    42       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 FADE TO BLACK 5695            5   5  0    42       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-RIGORMORTIS 5736              5   3  0    40       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 TWIGGY 5731                   4   3  0    40       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 CRYPT ANGEL 5553              7   8  1    36       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-THE KURGEN 5636               6   9  1    36       FREEDONIA (32)
-DRAGONFLY PIE 5760            5   0  1    36       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BLACKENED 5531                6   6  0    34       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHAOS BOAST 5780              5   5  1    33       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 BOGBANE 5500                  4   5  1    33       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 KING OF BEASTS 5880           4   2  0    33       LAND OF OZ (217)
-ROGER L'BEAU 5828             4   4  0    33       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-NILES 5860                    3   1  0    33       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-CONSTANTINE 5677              6   3  0    32       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
-WAR CRY HAMM 5436             5   2  0    31       DESOLATE ONES (524)
-XERXES 5742                   8   3  0    30       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 BEXAR 5906                    3   2  0    29       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-CRYSTAL 5895                  3   1  0    29       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       5   1  0    28       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-BUSTED WING 5864              4   1  0    28       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 STORMSTRIKE 5916              3   1  0    28       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
-DEATH KISS 5751               6   2  1    27       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 SIEGE BEST 5797               5   6  1    27       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 DA TING 5129                  2   0  0    27       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659          5   4  1    26       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASP 5843                      5   3  0    25       THE SERPENTS (629)
 CHONG 5927                    1   1  0    25       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 THE RON 5914                  2   1  0    24       WARHAMMERS (75)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AVATAR OF WOE 5850            7   2  0    23       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-MY PILLOW 5660                7   2  0    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658     5   4  0    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-STUFF 5656                    4   5  2    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-SHORTEST STRAW 5532           3   3  0    23       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-MIRAGE 5912                   2   1  0    22       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-COURT JESTER 5883             1   1  0    22       EMPIRE RISING (633)
 PYTHON 5903                   3   2  0    21       THE SERPENTS (629)
 BREMM SPARKFIST 5917          3   1  0    21       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
-SHINJO 5886                   2   1  1    21       DOJO (634)
-DYERS EVE 5535                1   5  0    20       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-DUMB AS ROCK 5913             2   1  0    17       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 LONELY SON 5882               1   2  0    17       EMPIRE RISING (633)
 SWAMP STORM 5893              3   1  0    16       BLACK STORM (171)
 MR NICE GUY 5931              1   1  1    15       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
-ZIN 5932                      1   0  0    15       DOJO (634)
 COBRA 5842                    3   5  0    14       THE SERPENTS (629)
 SGT STANDANKO 5929            2   0  0    14       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 KYEVERA LUERTEN 5876          3   2  0    13       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
 MOMBA 5945                    2   0  1    13       THE SERPENTS (629)
-FE MALE 5211                  3   1  0    12       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 CHEECH 5930                   1   1  1    12       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 SMOKESCREEN 5944              1   0  0    12       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-PARAKEET 5830                 2   5  0    11       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
-PUCK 5919                     1   1  0    11       FREEDONIA (32)
-TETSUO 5890                   1   2  0    11       DOJO (634)
 ADDER 5920                    3   0  0    10       THE SERPENTS (629)
-LUCIANN CIOCCO 5936           1   0  0    10       REPLICA STEEL (638)
-BANE 5946                     1   0  0    10       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-BLADE PICKARD 5940            1   0  0    10       REPLICA STEEL (638)
-BULLPEN ACE 5907              2   2  1     9       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 FAERJAN SKORAS 5877           2   3  0     9       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
-BONECLAW 5857                 0   3  0     9       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 BOO-BOO 5935                  1   2  0     8       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-GALIUS 5865                   1   5  0     8       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 T.H.C. 5928                   1   1  0     8       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
-MISHIMA 5887                  2   1  0     7       DOJO (634)
-LADY PERI 5599                2   1  0     7       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 VALLHALAN 5892                1   3  0     6       BLACK STORM (171)
 SOLTAN  HELLER 5955           1   0  0     6       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
 LORD ATREYU 5924              1   0  0     6       AVENGERS BANE (636)
-LADY FIRST 5600               1   2  0     5       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 SIDESWIPE 5958                1   0  0     5       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 LORD DESOLATE 5884            0   1  0     5       EMPIRE RISING (633)
 IARYO FELUNNDA 5875           0   4  0     4       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
-CUMTOLUMPSCUM 5908            0   4  0     4       FREEDONIA (32)
 TRILLA LILLEIR 5874           0   3  0     3       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
-LOTUS BLOSSOM 5888            0   3  0     3       DOJO (634)
 SWAMP THUG HAMMER 5948        0   2  0     2       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SWAMP MESS HAMMER 5947        0   2  0     2       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 HOWLTUSK 5943                 0   2  0     2       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 BOOSTER PYRITE 5964           0   1  0     1       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
-MARY MAZERO 5937              0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
-ACE STARNOWSKY 5938           0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 ALTORA 5925                   0   1  0     1       AVENGERS BANE (636)
-LYNDA BRAUTIGAM 5939          0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 SABIEN FAUST 5926             0   1  0     1       AVENGERS BANE (636)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAGNUS CROYLE 5905            0   1  0     1       AVENGERS BANE (636)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
SWAMP ROSE HAMME 5440  6 10 0 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ 594 RACECAR 5498          235 NOT REVE
SWAMP TRAP HAMME 5442 14  5 1 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ 594 CYRUS THE GREAT 5681  238         
SEVERIK SAVA 5923      0  1 0 AVENGERS BANE 636     MOMBA 5945            239         
PUKE 5956              0  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    PUTRID PATRICK 19     239 NONE    
SIMON MAGUS 5806       4  4 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    KILL*SWITCH 5809      237         
WYAND VOIDFINGER 5918  1  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    SHINJO 5886           237         
ISHMAIL VILEHAND 5942  0  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    CHEECH 5930           238         
MURDEROUS MARK 18      0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          SHADE'S FORM 5549     239 NONE    
JADE FALCON 5805       1  5 0 DARK PINNACLE 598     PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659  235 REVENGED
CAPTAIN MARBLE 4634   14 15 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    CARDIAC CRAIG 21      239 NONE    
AHURA MAZDA 5152      13 15 1 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   MORWHEN 5686          236         
ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377   7 14 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   ORC PLAGUE 5501       238         
JEAN ST. OMER 5911     0  3 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   SIEGE BEST 5797       238         
TARANTELLA 5687        6  2 2 LOST SOULS 618        B.B. CROSS 5323       235 NOT REVE
CASSIDY 5705           8  6 1 THE MARAUDERS 619     ICHORID 5584          239         
RIPE TRIPE 5904        0  4 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  MR NICE GUY 5931      239         
CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318 16 10 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 LOWELL 5569           239         
SISTER MARYKATE 5835   2  2 1 OLD HABITS 566        BEAR SKINRUG 5399     236         
BOA 5839               1  4 0 THE SERPENTS 629      BULLPEN ACE 5907      236         
LUCIFERETTE 5053       3  3 0 WARHAMMERS 75         BOGBANE 5500          238 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Blackstorm -- I never jest!  Ever! -- Maximillian

Me allies want slave.  Fratsfa one be good. -- BOQ

Father O'Malley -- Those sisters of yours are just too "protected" from my spells.
Humbug and Fighting Tree say "pshaw"!  I say they are the wicked witches of the East
and West reincarnated! -- Oz The All Humorous

Court Jester -- You should not have made a fool of The King Of Beasts. -- King Of
Beasts

Little Big Man -- You made my day!  I liked both the little and the big.  (chuckle)
-- Magic Wand

Baphomet -- No cell, no call. -- Oz The All Communicative

Nuln -- I am glad you clarified that elderly and flatulent to be Soultaker. -- Oz The
All Concerned

White Settler -- Lucked out on the clash?  And to think that I merely believed I won,
and that I was the better? -- Fighting Tree

Kon -- Welcome to The Swamp. -- Oz The All Welcoming

Everyone -- BOO! -- Drake
P.S.  Good to see the old home arena's still jumpin'.

Baphomet -- Received the DM 47 T-238 newsletter on Friday July 7 along with 2
SnailMail letters I had sent to you that were returned due to Undeliverable As
Addressed Unable To Forward.  Those letters were dated June 6 and 11.  Do you have a
new address, or did the sun and sand over here misdirect these letters? -- Hammer

Swamp Citizens -- For those of you who keep track of such things, Swamp Trap Hammer
was much better suited as a Total Parody rather than the Slasher she was created to

be.  At the time I was trying to get a Slasher graduated, but thankfully I got one
graduated over in Morya last year way before STH died.  She was an 18(3)-19(2)-10-
12(3)-19(3)-4-13 Slasher.  May she rest in peace!  -- Hammer

Humbug -- The aforementioned STH may have been your better, but you have obviously
outlived her! -- Hammer

Devout Christian -- Blasphemer indeed, you fanatic!  Get your sorry butt up here in
the recognition rankings so I can kick it back down again! -- Swamp Lily Hammer

D.K. Blackstorm -- If one never jests "EVER", then that person is either bitter and
angry or sour and sad!  Either/or are not worth the paper this is written on.  If a
person or group of people like that get in your way, then slap them on the buttocks
and send them on THEIR way!  (evil grin) -- D.K. Toker, mgr. Smoked Out!!! (637)
Desolate Empire Alliance

D.K. Goat -- Awaiting you in 31!  All is well this way and glad to see we are all in
agreement on the Charlie issue!  Votes were taken and passed 6-0 with 1 absentee.  So
be prepared! (grin) -- D.K. Toker, DESOLATE EMPIRE 4 LIFE!

Oz the all Wonderful -- Please inform your compatriot, the Lovely Lady Fern, that I
don't know what's been gong on these last couple of turns with the contest info in
52.  Not only do they seem to be printed a turn late, my stable wasn't fought for
some mysterious reason.  Hopefully all will run right this coming turn.  Thank you
for passing the message, and it also feels good to be back in SCOMMS Swamp after a
few missed turns.  Even if it is with a new team. -- D.K. Toker

Bog Bane -- One typo and BAM!  I'm Dead. --  Luciferette
P.S.  That was supposed to be a longsword--not large shield.

Bog Bane -- I look forward to the bloodfeud. -- Warhammers

20 June 2006
Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire
Our newest Dark Knight disrespected?!?!?!  ARE THEY SERIOUS?!?!  If at all possible,
let's get over to 31.  I'm on the way.  Let's get 'em. -- Dark Knight Osiris

26 June 2006
To those interested, G.E.C.K.O., Inc, is looking for able-bodied warriors to embark
on a dangerous mission.  Those interested (or for more details) diplo me at:
Juice, DM 93, mgr. Arena Masters, Inc -- Juice

30 June 2006
All -- I am looking for able bodied warriors, magic-wielding wizards, faith-healing
clerics, and quick-handed thieves to begin a quest requested by the Emperor of the
Southern Kingdom of Crailmia.  All interested parties can diplo me in arena 93 --
Noblish Island, c/o Will-O-Wisps (1422) or write to me at -- Robert Bennett, 317173,
4269 West M-80, Kincheloe, Mi 49784. -- the Lightbearer, mgr. Will-O-Wisps

1 July 2006
BROTHER KNIGHTS OF THE DESOLATE EMPIRE -- Hail brothers where ever you are to be
found!  We are engaging in arena 31.  Let them feel our wrath.  Onward to glory!!! --
Dark knight Blackstorm

1 July 2006
Soultaker -- Read your e-mail! -- Guardian

10 July 2006
The Dark Knights sat at the Dark Table with grim faces.  All present knew that there
could be no quarter.  The Forces of Desolation would be unleashed.  There would be no
turning back, no mercy and no hesitation to do what was necessary.  Teeth gritted and
knuckles whitened with fury as the IMPERIAL PROCLAMATION was signed by each Dark
Knight.
     AS OF JULY 1, 2006 -- WAR IS DECLARED ON THE ALLIANCE KNOWN AS THE VENDETTA
CARTEL.
     The Desolate Empire -- Dark Knights:  Ancient Creep, Blackstorm, Dok Sik, Goat,
Heathen, Hatebred, Kon, Osiris, Toker, Wasby the Great

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CAPTAIN MARBLE was viciously butchered by CARDIAC CRAIG in a 3 minute fight.
SHADE'S FORM viciously butchered MURDEROUS MARK in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
PUKE was savagely slain by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
TEMPUS bested BOGBANE in a popular 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
LONELY SON was savagely defeated by STORMSTRIKE in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
JACK MCFARLAND lost to FRED BEAR in a exciting 1 minute master's Challenge fight.
LOWELL butchered CLINTONLIKESBUSH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
JACK & JILL was viciously subdued by HUMBUG in a 2 minute expert's Challenge melee.
ICHORID assassinated CASSIDY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MY MISO MUTE outlasted JENKINS in a tiresome 21 minute Challenge fight.
MAGIC WAND overcame KILL*SWITCH in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
TWIGGY savagely defeated BLACKENED in a exciting 1 minute bloody Challenge match.
AVATAR OF WOE overcame T.H.C. in a monotonous 5 minute brutal Challenge contest.
CHEECH was bested by THE RON in a crowd pleasing 3 minute Challenge bout.
RIPE TRIPE was easily killed by MR NICE GUY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SGT STANDANKO savagely defeated HOWLTUSK in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge struggle.
FAERJAN SKORAS was devastated by BEXAR in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
IARYO FELUNNDA was overpowered by PYTHON in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SISTER MARY SARAH outlasted RED DRAGON in a tiring 14 minute veteran's Title bout.
SISTER SLEDGE overcame DON KING in a popular 1 minute master's competition.
WHITE SETTLER was defeated by SWAMP LILY HAMMER in a popular 1 minute veteran's duel.
SWAMP BURP HAMMER was outwaited by SUCULANT in a unpopular 10 minute expert's duel.
CUP OF TOE demolished PAUL BEARER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN was unbelievably bested by BOQ in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.
DROW defeated EVICSERATOR in a 2 minute bout.
ORC PLAGUE demolished FADE TO BLACK in a action packed 2 minute one-sided melee.
BLACK THUNDER was overcome by TEN IS RAQUET in a action packed 1 minute brutal bout.
DRAMA QUEEN was viciously subdued by LITTLE BIG MAN in a exciting 5 minute gory duel.
SISTER MERCY overpowered CHAOS BOAST in a popular 1 minute brutal uneven duel.
ZOMBIE ASSASSIN savagely defeated SIEGE BEST in a popular 2 minute brutal fight.
CRYPT ANGEL was overpowered by BEAR SKINRUG in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
SISTER MARY SUEELLEN viciously subdued THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 3 minute duel.
KYEVERA LUERTEN was demolished by KING OF BEASTS in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ASP beat BOO-BOO in a 1 minute fray.
COBRA narrowly defeated SWAMP THUG HAMMER in a exciting 3 minute match.
CHONG handily defeated HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven match.
DA TING overpowered VALLHALAN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SWAMP STORM savagely defeated BOOSTER PYRITE in a 4 minute novice's competition.
TRILLA LILLEIR slimly lost to LORD ATREYU in a 2 minute novice's match.
BREMM SPARKFIST demolished ALTORA in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ADDER viciously subdued MAGNUS CROYLE in a crowd boring 8 minute amateur's match.
SWAMP MESS HAMMER was overpowered by SMOKESCREEN in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MOMBA put to death SEVERIK SAVA in a 1 minute novice's conflict.
LORD DESOLATE was beaten by SIDESWIPE in a 5 minute gory novice's fight.
SABIEN FAUST was viciously subdued by SOLTAN  HELLER in a 3 minute novice's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         WALL OF STEEL     69 -  42 -  3      62  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         TOTAL PARRY      125 -  79 -  3      61  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 14         AIMED BLOW        39 -  31 -  2      56  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  16 -  2      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         STRIKING ATTACK  115 - 110 - 12      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         LUNGING ATTACK    93 - 110 - 12      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         SLASHING ATTACK   51 -  80 -  0      39  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         PARRY-STRIKE      24 -  40 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         BASHING ATTACK    62 - 105 -  8      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   9 -  0      10  |

Turn 239 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     4 -  5         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         4 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  5         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        5 - 10         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  7     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  7                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SISTER MARY SARAH 5137     21   3  0  121 OLD HABITS (566)
AIMED BLOW       LOWELL 5569                12   5  2  125 SECOND BANANAS (573)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441     13   7  0   95 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
LUNGING ATTACK   HUMBUG 5199                18  14  1   90 LAND OF OZ (217)
STRIKING ATTACK  CUP OF TOE 5433             9   1  1   88 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
WALL OF STEEL    ORC PLAGUE 5501             6   3  2   72 DARQUE FORCES (396)
BASHING ATTACK   ICHORID 5584               10   6  1   66 SALEM'S LOT (605)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is HUMBUG 5199.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
LITTLE BIG MAN 5393.  The ten other most popular fighters were DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321, 
HUMBUG 5199, FADE TO BLACK 5695, SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671, SWAMP THUG HAMMER 5948, 
SHADE'S FORM 5549, CHEECH 5930, SGT STANDANKO 5929, TEN IS RAQUET 5815, and ZOMBIE 
ASSASSIN 5552.

The least popular fighter this week was JENKINS 5708.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were MY MISO MUTE 4018, SUCULANT 3589, SISTER MARY SARAH 5137, SWAMP BURP 
HAMMER 5439, RED DRAGON 5585, T.H.C. 5928, MAGNUS CROYLE 5905, SABIEN FAUST 5926, 
ADDER 5920, and SIDESWIPE 5958.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

FIGHTING TREE (47-5235) LAND OF OZ (217)
WHITE SETTLER (47-5322) NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)