DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/08/2006    Duedate: 09/04/2006

DOUBLE-X ARENA

DM-47    TURN-240

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

B.B. CROSS
FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
(47-5323) [17-5-4,154]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

B.B. CROSS                     CHONG
FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)          SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
(47-5323) [17-5-4,154]         (47-5927) [2-1-0,45]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MINOR BLUE                     SWAMP LILY HAMMER
FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)          ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
(47-5326) [13-9-1,84]          (47-5441) [14-7-0,97]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE SERPENTS (629)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)  48
2. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            39      MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
3. WINTER CHILL (476)          36      Unchartered Team
4. BAAL'S MINIONS (626)        35
5. SMOKED OUT!!! (637)         33      SMOKED OUT!!! (637)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 OLD HABITS (566)          63  31  6 67.0   1/ 1*THE SERPENTS (629)       12  3 1
 2- 2 AGE OF EMPIRES (617)      41  21  2 66.1   2/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         10  4 0
 3/ 4 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   286 177 24 61.8   3/10*SMOKED OUT!!! (637)       9  6 3
 4/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217)         486 313 14 60.8   4/ 8 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      9  6 1
 5/ 6*SMOKED OUT!!! (637)        9   6  3 60.0   5- 3 OLD HABITS (566)          8  0 0
 6/ 7 SECOND BANANAS (573)      86  61  9 58.5   6/ 4 DARQUE FORCES (396)       8  6 2
 7- 8*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   26  19  3 57.8   7/ 5 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)      8  7 1
 8/10 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)     137 109  4 55.7   8/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          7  7 0
 9/ 0*WINTER CHILL (476)         5   4  0 55.6   9/ 6 WARHAMMERS (75)           6  4 1
10/12 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         620 502 32 55.3  10/14 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  6  7 1
11/11 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   54  45  4 54.5  11/ 0*WINTER CHILL (476)        4  1 0
12/13 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584)  65  57  6 53.3  12/13 SECOND BANANAS (573)      4  3 1
13-14 THE MARAUDERS (619)       26  23  2 53.1  13/ 9 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    4  4 0
14/16 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     348 311 33 52.8  14/15 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      4  5 0
15/15 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     54  50  9 51.9  15- 7 SALEM'S LOT (605)         4  6 2
16-17 SALEM'S LOT (605)         41  38  4 51.9  16/18 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   4 10 0
17/18 DARQUE FORCES (396)      110 107  9 50.7  17/25*EMPIRE RISING (633)       3  3 0
18/19 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)      41  41  4 50.0  18/30 BLACK STORM (171)         3  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-20 DARK PINNACLE (598)       51  53  5 49.0  19/16 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     3  7 0
20-21 FREEDONIA (32)           167 181 17 48.0  20-12 DARK PINNACLE (598)       2  2 0
21/ 0 INDIFFERENCE (611)        75  86  5 46.6  21-22*REPLICA STEEL (638)       2  3 0
22/24 BLACK STORM (171)         98 113  9 46.4  22-17 FREEDONIA (32)            2  3 0
23/22 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     23  28  0 45.1  23/28 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)      2  4 0
24-25 DESOLATE ONES (524)       76  93 12 45.0  24/31*AVENGERS BANE (636)       2  7 0
25/28 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)      26  32  1 44.8  25/ 0 INDIFFERENCE (611)        1  2 0
26/27*THE SERPENTS (629)        20  25  1 44.4  26/21 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)     1  3 0
27/26 WARHAMMERS (75)          226 286 13 44.1  27-26*ARCANE ANGELS (632)       1  4 0
28-29*REPLICA STEEL (638)        2   3  0 40.0  28-20 DESOLATE ONES (524)       1  4 0
29/30 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)     61  96  3 38.9  29-32*THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   1  4 0
30/31*EMPIRE RISING (633)        3   5  0 37.5  30/ 0*LADIES OF DREAD (641)     1  4 0
31-32*ARCANE ANGELS (632)        6  15  0 28.6  31/24 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     1  5 0
32/33*AVENGERS BANE (636)        2   7  0 22.2  32-33 THE MARAUDERS (619)       0  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Just in case anyone thought last turn was an hallucination, here is yet another...

                            THE NORTH FORK ANNUAL REVIEW
                                  8/2004 to 7/2005
                                 (Turns 214 to 226)

on my quest to get caught up on these things.  First off, as of turn 213, there were
31 teams in the arena.  On turn 226, that number grew to 43 teams.  Very nice.

                        THE TOP 5 TEAMS OF 2004-2005
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               LAND OF OZ               44  15   1   308   74.57%
               OLD HABITS               20  13   0   113   60.60%
               ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ        21  14   3   151   60.00%
               SECOND BANANAS           36  27   5   203   57.14%
               SKELETON KEY             30  24   1   217   55.55%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 32 fights were
                   considered.
               The field consisted of  20  eligible teams.

A couple very interesting occurrences on the Top 5 Teams list this time around.
First off, this was the first ever report that *didn't* have Mystic Orc Feast in the
Top 5.  Was Slugbait ill?  Had quality recruits been hard to find?  Was the team just
plain full?  In other news, the local Consortium representative, the All Record-
Breaking Oz, blew away Crip's old team record of 66.66% set back in 02-03.  Very
nicely done.

                       THE BOTTOM 5 TEAMS OF 2004-2005
               Team                      W   L   K   Rec  Percent
               ----                     --  --  --   ---  -------
               FREEDONIA                13  36   2    85   26.53%
               KNIGHTS TEMPLAR          22  38   2   128   36.66%
               ADULT SWIM               13  22   1   101   37.14%
               SOULFORGE                16  27   2   110   37.20%
               LIFE'S LESSONS           15  24   0    21   38.46%
               * - Only currently listed teams with at least 32 fights were
                   considered.

Well, as ever, Wolfe Pack's 13.79% worst team W/L record continued to stand as it has
since 1999-2000.  So, I hope Freedonia can take heart in knowing that, while they
sucked, they weren't the worst ever.

                           THE TOP 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              FREEZE DRIED          5308  11   2   0    47   84.61%
              HOURGLASS             5127  10   1   0    72   90.90%
              SARA F.               5349   9   2   0    93   81.81%
              RAINBOW               4553   8   0   0    48  100.00%
              LEVIATHAN OF LARD     5113   8   2   1    77   80.00%
              BENDER                5395   7   0   1    34  100.00%
              MINOR BLUE            5326   8   3   1    65   72.72%
              DEVOUT CHRISTIAN      5321   8   4   2    54   66.66%
              COURAGE               4552   7   0   0    66  100.00%
              SWAMP LILY HAMMER     5441   7   0   0    60  100.00%
              * - Base ranking determined by (3*Wins) + #Kills - #Losses.
              * - Only warriors with at least 6 fights and on currently listed
                  teams were considered.
              The field consisted of  91  eligible warriors.

Freeze Dried managed a solid performance in 04-05 but ended up no where near the
record 12-1-1 (36 ranking points) held by Jumbo Mumbo.  Just goes to show that frozen
is never as good fresh.

                          THE BOTTOM 10 WARRIOR RECORDS
              Name                    ID   W   L   K   Rec  Percent
              ----                  ----  --  --  --   ---  -------
              NEUFCHATELLA          2958   1   7   0    10   12.50%
              AMALRIC               5378   1   7   0    10   12.50%
              SWAMP ROSE HAMMER     5440   1   6   0    13   14.28%
              PICUS                 5390   1   5   0     8   16.66%
              JABBERWOCK            1277   2   8   1    -5   20.00%
              FREMAN                5376   2   7   0    13   22.22%
              KOZYTA                2640   2   7   0    13   22.22%
              CAPPUCCINO            5382   2   7   0    23   22.22%
              PAULA BONES           4414   2   6   0   -23   25.00%
              ROBUST BREW           5400   2   6   0    12   25.00%
              * - Base ranking determined by (3*Wins) + #Kills - #Losses.
              * - Only warriors with at least 6 fights and on currently listed
                  teams were considered.

Worst record for the year had a tie in 04-05 when both Neufchatella (how the *heck*
do you pronounce that with only one tongue?) and Amalric both couldn't seem to put
together two wins for the whole year.  I hope the DA wasn't too hard on you guys.
Still, you did manage to do better than the worst ever 0-7-0 (-7 ranking points)
performance by Olgon Puy back in 02-03).

                           TOP FIVE TEAM RECOGNITION
                    TEN TURN TOTAL       |       SINGLE TURN
            Team                   Rec   |  Team                  Rec
            ----                   ---   |  ----                  ---
            LAND OF OZ             308   |  ALL-STAR NANA'S        74
            NATURAL B. KILLERS 2   232   |  SECOND BANANAS         72
            SKELETON KEY           217   |  FEATHERS FLYIN'        66
            THE BEAR'S PAW         206   |  SKELETON KEY           61
            SECOND BANANAS         203   |  THE MARAUDERS          59

Land Of Oz came out strong in 2004-2005 by taking the highest Recognition gain of the
year by nearly 70 points.  However, that only averaged out to 23.7 pts per turn which
still wasn't close to the Royal Flush record of 27.4 per turn.  Sorry Oz, but Crip
still owned this category.  Likewise, All-Star-Nana's impressive 74 points in a
single turn wasn't enough to knock off the Flush's 87 point record-holding turn.

                           TOP TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                 TEN TURN TOTAL         |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       ACE METRIC            3554   97  |  JABBERWOCK            1277   40
       SARA F.               5349   93  |  SEALAB DEBBIE         5567   32
       LEVIATHAN OF LARD     5113   77  |  OSLOBEN BENBOBEN      4561   31
       KRAMER                5191   74  |  ART PENDRAGON         5151   29
       HOURGLASS             5127   72  |  TOTO                  3914   29
       COURAGE               4552   66  |  HITLER YOUTH          5547   28
       MINOR BLUE            5326   65  |  GALDR                 5171   28
       JACK MCFARLAND        5481   62  |  PAULA BONES           4414   28
       SWAMP LILY HAMMER     5441   60  |  ACE BAILEY            4948   27
       OSLOBEN BENBOBEN      4561   56  |  LEVIATHAN OF LARD     5113   27

Sara F. almost made it, but Ace Metric's 97 point total Recognition gain was just
enough to eke out the highest total gain for 2004-2005.  At an average of 7.5 per
turn, that still wasn't enough to take the 9.7 per turn record held by Wolfgang Duck.
On the other hand Jabberwock's 40 points in a single turn came *very* close to the
old 41 point record jointly held by Steve McQueen and Cup of Cat.

                         BOTTOM TEN WARRIOR RECOGNITION
                 TEN TURN TOTAL         |           SINGLE TURN
       Name                    ID  Rec  |  Name                    ID  Rec
       ----                  ----  ---  |  ----                  ----  ---
       KING CRAB             4983  -42  |  KING CRAB             4983  -42
       QUEEN OF DENIAL       4896  -41  |  QUEEN OF DENIAL       4896  -41
       KENTSUI FURY          4382  -30  |  LATTE                 4667  -40
       PAULA BONES           4414  -23  |  JABBERWOCK            1277  -39
       CORPULENT CORPSE      5250  -21  |  BURNS                 5190  -37
       LAYTON                5098  -19  |  WITCHCRAZE            5201  -35
       BALKI                 5193  -14  |  GALDR                 5171  -35
       BRONS                 5150  -11  |  PAULA BONES           4414  -32
       FAUST                 5643   -9  |  B.B. CROSS            5323  -28
       BODAK                 5589   -9  |  MSK                   5507  -25

It looks like Crip had a couple warriors vying for the most meteoric drop of the year
with Queen of Denial and King Crab both sky-diving their way to the bottom of the
list.  However, their old teammate, King Uvdahell's -7.9 per turn average remained
far worse than any measly -4.8 per turn drop.  On the single turn side of it, King
Uvdahell still remained king of the loser hill with his record of -112 points lost in
a single turn.

                         STYLE MASTERS OF THE PAST YEAR
           Style                  Warrior                ID      Turns
           -----                  -------                --      -----
           PARRY-RIPOSTE          BEAR NEKKID            5126       11
           STRIKING ATTACK        SPAWING OF SPEWN       5197        9
           AIMED BLOW             PAULA BONES            4414        7
           LUNGING ATTACK         LEVIATHAN OF LARD      5113        7
           SLASHING ATTACK        COURAGE                4552        7
           WALL OF STEEL          HOURGLASS              5127        6
           TOTAL PARRY            RAINBOW                4553        5
           BASHING ATTACK         FIGHTING TREE          5235        4
           BASHING ATTACK         JENNA                  5099        4
           PARRY-LUNGE            SWAMP LILY HAMMER      5441        3
           PARRY-LUNGE            BEAR ACUDA             4995        3
           PARRY-STRIKE           MAHARA                 2656        2

Well, Courage's 10 turn Style Master record didn't stand long as Bear Nekkid managed
11 turns as the top Parry Rip in 2004-2005.  On the other hand, it looks like we need
to get a few more solid Bashers, Plungers and Pikers in this arena.

                               RULERS OF THE SANDS
                                  Chartered            Unchartered
       Turn  Duelmaster           Recognition Leader   Recognition Leader
       ----  ----------           ------------------   ------------------
       214   BEAR ACUDA           BEAR ACUDA           PROPHET OF NTH
       215   BEAR ACUDA           BEAR ACUDA           SHELDON
       216   BEAR ACUDA           BEAR ACUDA           SPAWING OF SPEWN
       217   LATTE                LATTE                SPAWING OF SPEWN
       218   COURAGE              COURAGE              SISTER MARY SARAH
       219   COURAGE              COURAGE              GREEDY
       220   COURAGE              COURAGE              BABY
       221   RAINBOW              RAINBOW              MINOR BLUE
       222   LEVIATHAN OF LARD    LEVIATHAN OF LARD    DEVOUT CHRISTIAN
       223   LEVIATHAN OF LARD    LEVIATHAN OF LARD    GANGSTA CREEP
       224   OSLOBEN BENBOBEN     OSLOBEN BENBOBEN     LADY ARCANE
       225   HOURGLASS            HOURGLASS            LADY ARCANE
       226   HOURGLASS            HOURGLASS            SWAMP LILY HAMMER

Bear Acuda & Courage tied for most turns as Duelmaster and Chartered Recognition
Leader at 3 turns each.  That's about 23.1% of the year.  So, Ten Commandments still
retained the records with both 40% of turns as DM and 30% of turns as CRL.  As no one
managed more than 2 turns as Unchartered Recognition Leader (Lady Arcane & Spawing of
Spewn), Wold Demia's dominating 50% of turns record held firm.

                                 THE FANS SPEAK
               Popularity           This                 This Week's
         Turn  Leader               Week's Favorite      Least Favorite
         ----  ------               ---------------      --------------
         214   BEAR ACUDA           LEVIATHAN OF LARD    FAT-BOY 5221
         215   FOLMOR GRIGG         FIGHTING TREE        DUDE DUKE 5314
         216   FOLMOR GRIGG         FRED BEAR            MASS STUPIDITY 5068
         217   FOLMOR GRIGG         B.B. CROSS           SISTER MARY SARAH 5137
         218   FOLMOR GRIGG         SARA F.              JACK & JILL 5310
         219   LEPPADA              KENSAI               RAINBOW 4553
         220   COURAGE              AHURA MAZDA          JACK & JILL 5310
         221   LEPPADA              GANGSTA CREEP        BLACK THUNDER 3885
         222   AHURA MAZDA          DASTER MARQUE        KENTSUI FURY 4382
         223   AHURA MAZDA          CHARLES MANSON       WAR CRY HAMM 5436
         224   AHURA MAZDA          AHURA MAZDA          ZOMBIE KNIGHT 3564
         225   AHURA MAZDA          HALLE BEARY          SISTER MARY SARAH 5137
         226   AHURA MAZDA          HITLER YOUTH         DEADLY 4996

Ahura Mazda's 38% of the year run as Popularity Leader was fairly impressive, but
didn't come close to the old 77% of the year record held by Insolent Idiot.  In the
ever-fickle This Week's Favorite category, only Ahura Mazda managed to repeat.
Therefore, no one's managed to beat the 20% of the year record held by Insolent
Idiot.  Surprisingly, we had a tie for This Week's Least Favorite as both Jack & Jill
and Sister Mary Sarah bored fans into a coma 2 turns each.  That's nowhere close to
the 40% of turns record held by Biblish.

                                POPULARITY LISTS
      Most                                     Least
      Popular List         ID    Score* | Popular List         ID    Score*
      ------------         ----  ------ | ------------         ----  ------
      ART PENDRAGON        5151      25 | JACK & JILL          5310    -40
      GANGSTA CREEP        5391      22 | HOLLE' CHERRY        5437    -39
      OSLOBEN BENBOBEN     4561      22 | SIR GALAHAD          5148    -38
      MINOR BLUE           5326      20 | SCOTT                5299    -37
      HUMBUG               5199      20 | DEEP FRIED LARD      4975    -26
      FOLMOR GRIGG         4501      17 | FREEZE DRIED         5308    -26
      CAFE AU LAIT         5344      17 | BLACK THUNDER        3885    -24
      KATIE                5337      16 | HOMEY D. CLONE       5637    -20
      TRESSA               5388      16 | BOMBADIL             2724    -18
      HALLE BEARY          5312      16 | RICHARD CRANIUM      5577    -16
      * - Scores derived from position in Most Popular and Least Popular Lists

No real standouts on the general popularity front in 2004-2005.  Certainly no one
came close to the old records of +60pts held by 100% Columbian and -65pts held by
Frustration.  Both records were set in 2003-2004.

                            THE FEARD AND THE AFRAID
                    Turn  Most Avoided         Most Avoiding
                    ----  ------------         -------------
                    214   MY DAY               ROYAL FLUSH
                    215   SKELETON KEY         MY DAY
                    216   MYSTIC ORC FEAST     SECOND BANANAS
                    217   ALL-STAR NANA'S      DUR EDHEL
                    218   ALL-STAR NANA'S      DUR EDHEL
                    219   SKELETON KEY         LAND OF OZ
                    220   THE BEAR'S PAW       THE JESUITS
                    221   THE JESUITS          KNIGHTS TEMPLAR
                    222   SKELETON KEY         LAND OF OZ
                    223   DOK SIK KILLAS       ROYAL FLUSH
                    224   SALEM'S LOT          GOTHIC MINISTRY
                    225   THE BEAR'S PAW       LIFE'S LESSONS
                    226   ADULT SWIM           ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ

In 2004-2005 Skeleton Key joined the ranks of Sponertiks, Royal Flush and Coffee
Rules for most turns avoided in a year (3).  On the other hand, Mystic Orc Feast's
having spent 30% of the year avoiding other teams remains an unchallenged record as
only Dur Edhel, Land of Oz and Royal Flush repeated on the Most Avoiding list.

                      THE 5 LONGEST FIGHTS OF 2004-2005
SISTER MARY SARAH slimly won victory over JACK & JILL in  42  minutes
SCOTT was outlasted by JACK & JILL in  25  minutes
MISFORTUNE COOKIE was outwaited by SIR GALAHAD in  23  minutes
SIR GALAHAD was narrowly defeated by SISTER MARY SARAH in  23  minutes
FAT-BOY slimly won victory over SIR GALAHAD in  22  minutes
* - The average fight length was 2.57 minutes.

Sister Mary Sarah came close, but didn't manage to overtake Manic Fuhrer's 43 minute
record for longest fight in a year.  Personally, I blame her dance partners, Jack &
Jill for their lack of stamina.  Our average fight length was down 0.27 minutes from
2004-2005 and well short of our 3.61 minute record.

                THE 5 HIGHEST FIGHT TIME TOTALS OF 2004-2005
                        Name                  Total Time
                        ----                  ----------
                        JACK & JILL              126
                        SIR GALAHAD              116
                        SISTER MARY SARAH        114
                        FREEZE DRIED              83
                        DEEP FRIED LARD           77

Jack & Jill tried, but couldn't match the record average of 16.2 minutes per turn,
held by Tchmil.  I'm sure the fans appreciated the concession stand breaks, however.

                             THE TOP 10 UPCHALLENGES
Challenger           Challenged           Rec
----------           ----------           ---
SEALAB DEBBIE        B.B. CROSS            63 (Impressive but well short of the
                                              154pt record held by Sir
                                              Lancelot.)
JENNA                LEVIATHAN OF LARD     46
JENNA                LEVIATHAN OF LARD     42 (I would *definitely* have to pass
                                              on seeing that movie.)
PAULA BONES          BEAR ACUDA            39
JABBERWOCK           COURAGE               33 (Shouldn't this be the other way
                                              around?)
THE KURGEN           STEAL SHANK           32
ART PENDRAGON        DEEP FRIED LARD       31
ERON RIPPER          WOODY                 30
TARZAN               STEAL SHANK           30 (Low-tech vs. well...I can't
                                              really call a shank high-tech now
                                              can I?)
FREEZE DRIED         PAUL BEARER           29 (I'm pretty sure Paul prefers more
                                              traditional embalming methods.)

                           THE WORST 10 DOWNCHALLENGES
Challenger           Victim               Rec
----------           ------               ---
KRAMER               BOMBADIL             -36 (You're far nicer than Wolfgang
                                              Duck ever was, with his -60pt
                                              downchallenge record.)
LEVIATHAN OF LARD    ART PENDRAGON        -26 (Not only was the downchallenge
                                              dangerous; so was the cholesterol
                                              build-up.)
SWAMP LILY HAMMER    PICUS                -23
DEAD ANGLE           JACK MCFARLAND       -20
SIR GALAHAD          GANGSTA CREEP        -20 (Now that wasn't chivalrous at
                                              all.)
GET THE POINT?       RICHARD CRANIUM      -19 (Fight of the phallic phrases.)
GREEDY               HELLUIN              -17
AHURA MAZDA          MIDGUARD             -16
HUGR                 YLW JACKET HAMMER    -15 (I would figure Hugr should have
                                              been the one wearing the yellow
                                              jacket for making this challenge.)
ANTON LEVAY          NIGHT TERROR         -14
* - Bloodfeuds and challenges by the Chartered Recognition Leader were excluded.
* - The average recognition difference for a challenge was 3.49 points.

Our average recognition difference was down 3.08 pts from our record-setting 6.57pts
of 2003-2004.

                                  KILLS REPORT
          Total Kills:   45
          Team                 Kills | Warrior              ID    Kills
          ----                 ----- | -------              ----  -----
          SECOND BANANAS           5 | DEVOUT CHRISTIAN     5321      2
          FEATHERS FLYIN'          5 | ETIENNE DUPLAIX      5377      2
          NATURAL B. KILLERS 2     4 | B.B. CROSS           5323      2
          ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ        3 | WOODY                5412      2

We had averaged 3.46 kills per turn in 2004-2005, which still came short of our 4.1
per turn record.  Second Bananas and Feather's Flyin' proved most bloodthirsty, but
less so than Mystic Orc Feast's 0.7 kills/turn record.  Likewise, with a max of 2
kills per warrior, no one came close to Pacifism's 0.3 kills per turn average.
However, special mention has to go to Devout Christian for nearing Pacifism for most
ironic name in this category.

                                 TOURNEY REPORT
       Tournament       Level          Warrior                   Record
       ----------       -----          -------                   ------
       Summer FtF       None           None                      None
       Fall MI          Apprentice     SARA F. 5349              8-3-0
       Fall MI          Dead Champs    ACE METRIC 3554           9-3-0
       Fall MI          Dead Champs    TOTO 3914                 8-3-0
       Winter FtF       Challengers    RAINBOW 4553              7-3-0
       Winter FtF       Apprentice     CREAMED CAMEL TOES 5183   8-3-0
       Spring MI        Rookies        PAZUZU 5513               7-3-0

2004-2005 wasn't very good for North Fork on the tourney front.  No one managed to
make it to round 10 during the Summer Face, only 4 total TVs and no TCs.

                                    GRADUATES
ACE BAILEY (4948), BEAR ACUDA (4995), COURAGE (4552), CUP OF CAT (4926), DEEP FRIED
LARD (4975), LEVIATHAN OF LARD (5113), OSLOBEN BENBOBEN (4561), and RAINBOW (4553).

We had a total of 8 warriors make it all the way to ADM in 2004-2005.  Nice job all.
However, this is 8 short of the most graduates we've ever had in a year (set in 2003-
2004).

                                    NEW TEAMS
ADULT SWIM, ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ, BAATANAR' RITEZU, BLEAK LEGION, CELESTIAL KNIGHTS,
CODE RED, CYNICAL DELUSIONS, DARK SIDE, DOK SIK KILLAS, FALLEN, LEADERS, MAESTUS
MORTALES, MAYFAIR, MISNOMERS, OF WOLF AND MAN, PALINDROMES, SALEM'S LOT, SOULFORGE,
THE DREAMING, THE MARAUDERS, TOMBSTONE, and ZOIDS.

A total of 22 new teams in the arena is very cool.  However it still doesn't touch
the record set during the original Turf War of 1.9 new teams per turn.

Well, that closes the door on what happened in 2004 to 2005.  Next turn I'll bring us
up to current by reporting on this past year (2005 to 2006).  Hopefully you alliance
geeks mentioned who you are, what teams you run and what alliance you're in this turn
so I can include an alliance report next turn.  If you didn't, you can email me the
info by writing to deric.page@usa.net or PM 'Drake' on the www.duel2.com website.

Now go away and leave me alone.

                                                  -- Drake

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
DOUBLE-X.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Take 
a look at BLACK STORM's act, as they have a 2-3-0 week and gain 12 places in the team 
ranking.  A stormcloud is brewing over the SALEM'S LOT guildhouse.  Rumor says any 
more weeks like this ones 0-0-0 may send the team to the Dark Arena.  Advancing in 
the rankings was ROYAL FLUSH who went from last turn's 616-501-32, to this week's 
record of 620-502-32.  Hey everybody, watch out for JACK MCFARLAND, who flew up 22 
points in the rankings after mashing MINOR BLUE like a melon.  Keep your eye on this 
beast.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  MINOR BLUE lost 
to JACK MCFARLAND and drops 20 points.  Try as hard as the OLD HABITS stable might, 
they were unable to find their warrior (and ex-Duelmaster) SISTER MARY SARAH before 
this week's fights.  In front of all the crowds, B.B. CROSS took the Duelmaster's 
crown for his own.  I give the bum two weeks.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, 
but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the DOUBLE-X arena.  And hey, 
kiddies, those of you who didn't avoid BLACK STORM, please raise you hand.  Wow.  
Does DOUBLE-X really have that many liars?  And you guys like to boo me?  Well, 
unsling your rasberries, cause LAND OF OZ beats feet every time BLACK STORM smiles at 
them.  Try farming, eh?  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, CUP OF TOE 
would be president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  In a 
touching display by a 'touched' warrior, BEXAR went after TEN IS RAQUET, who was 
higher by 20 points.  Well, when the dust settled, BEXAR was beat by TEN IS RAQUET.  
MR NICE GUY of SMOKED OUT!!! had better have a good reason for challenging down 13 
points in a challenge which he won.  I thought MR NICE GUY showed great skill and 
promise when he subdued SWAMP THUG HAMMER.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big 
deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  PAUL BEARER defied all odds and slew MR. 
COFFEE in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as MR. 
COFFEE's meat is notoriously tough.  DEVOUT CHRISTIAN defied all odds and slew PUTRID 
PATRICK in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as PUTRID 
PATRICK's meat is notoriously tough.  BUSTED WING says to his dog--'Who should I 
fight this week?'.  Dog says 'PUTRID PATRICK'.  So the guy dies.  Moral?  Put lying 
dogs to sleep.  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the 
arena with you and see what happens.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in DOUBLE-X have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you 
worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 B.B. CROSS 5323              17   5  4   154       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CYRUS THE GREAT 5681         11   3  0   139       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 LOWELL 5569                  13   5  2   127       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-SISTER MARY SARAH 5137       21   3  0   121       OLD HABITS (566)
-PROHIBITION 5607             13  12  0   111       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 JACK MCFARLAND 5481          15   6  0   107       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 RED DRAGON 5585              14   6  0   103       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 FRED BEAR 5348               15   9  0   102       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441       14   7  0    97       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 KILLING JOKE 5611            16  10  1    93       INDIFFERENCE (611)
-SISTER SLEDGE 5341           11   3  1    93       OLD HABITS (566)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ORC PLAGUE 5501               7   3  2    89       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-LAST CALL 5606               11  10  0    88       INDIFFERENCE (611)
 DON KING 5374                10  11  0    87       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MINOR BLUE 5326              13   9  1    84       FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
 HUMBUG 5199                  18  15  1    83       LAND OF OZ (217)
 PAUL BEARER 5187             14  16  3    81       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-CAESAR 5679                  10   4  0    81       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
-OPAI 5735                     9   3  0    81       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-WYRD 5167                    11   6  0    79       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 CUP OF TOE 5433               9   2  1    76       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 JACK & JILL 5310             14  12  0    75       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SUCULANT 3589                13  15  1    73       WARHAMMERS (75)
 DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321        15  12  4    71       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
 BOQ 5873                      8   0  0    70       LAND OF OZ (217)
-BLOOD RAYNE 5489             14  10  1    68       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 MAGIC WAND 5771               9   3  0    68       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITTLE BIG MAN 5393          13   9  1    66       NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
-ICHORID 5584                 10   6  1    66       SALEM'S LOT (605)
 SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439       12   9  2    65       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 TEMPUS 4635                  12  14  1    64       WARHAMMERS (75)
-MY SLEEP 5657                 5   4  0    62       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-SISTER MERCY 5526             6   4  1    61       OLD HABITS (566)
 KILL*SWITCH 5809              5   1  1    61       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 DROW 5674                    10   4  0    60       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
 BLACK THUNDER 3885           13  11  0    58       BLACK STORM (171)
-SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671     7   3  1    57       OLD HABITS (566)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TARZAN 5542                   6  11  1    57       FREEDONIA (32)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TEN IS RAQUET 5815            4   7  0    55       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 EVICSERATOR 5358             11  11  1    53       BLACK STORM (171)
-PHILP OF MACEDON 5680         6   5  1    52       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 TWIGGY 5731                   5   3  0    51       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DRAMA QUEEN 5494             10   9  0    49       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MY MISO MUTE 4018             7   4  0    49       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BEAR SKINRUG 5399            12   7  1    48       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-SHADE'S FORM 5549             8   9  1    47       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534          6   6  0    47       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 CHONG 5927                    2   1  0    45       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
-ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552          9   6  1    43       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-JENKINS 5708                  8   6  0    42       THE MARAUDERS (619)
 DRAGONFLY PIE 5760            5   1  1    42       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DA TING 5129                  3   0  0    41       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 STORMSTRIKE 5916              4   1  0    39       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 KING OF BEASTS 5880           5   2  0    37       LAND OF OZ (217)
-CRYPT ANGEL 5553              7   8  1    36       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-THE KURGEN 5636               6   9  1    36       FREEDONIA (32)
 BLACKENED 5531                6   7  0    35       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOGBANE 5500                  4   6  1    33       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 PYTHON 5903                   4   2  0    33       THE SERPENTS (629)
-NILES 5860                    3   1  0    33       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-CONSTANTINE 5677              6   3  0    32       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 FADE TO BLACK 5695            5   6  0    32       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 SIEGE BEST 5797               6   6  1    31       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
-WAR CRY HAMM 5436             5   2  0    31       DESOLATE ONES (524)
-XERXES 5742                   8   3  0    30       AGE OF EMPIRES (617)
 ROGER L'BEAU 5828             4   5  0    30       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-CRYSTAL 5895                  3   1  0    29       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 CHAOS BOAST 5780              5   6  1    28       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
-THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133       5   1  0    28       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 LONELY SON 5882               2   2  0    27       EMPIRE RISING (633)
-PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659          5   4  1    26       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 BREMM SPARKFIST 5917          4   1  0    26       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 BEXAR 5906                    3   3  0    24       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-AVATAR OF WOE 5850            7   2  0    23       SALEM'S LOT (605)
-MY PILLOW 5660                7   2  0    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658     5   4  0    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-STUFF 5656                    4   5  2    23       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
-SHORTEST STRAW 5532           3   3  0    23       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 MR NICE GUY 5931              2   1  1    23       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 BULLPEN ACE 5907              3   2  1    22       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MOMBA 5945                    3   0  1    22       THE SERPENTS (629)
-MIRAGE 5912                   2   1  0    22       DARK PINNACLE (598)
-COURT JESTER 5883             1   1  0    22       EMPIRE RISING (633)
-DYERS EVE 5535                1   5  0    20       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 ASP 5843                      5   4  0    19       THE SERPENTS (629)
 SWAMP STORM 5893              4   1  0    18       BLACK STORM (171)
-DUMB AS ROCK 5913             2   1  0    17       DARK PINNACLE (598)
 PERMAFROST 4276               1   2  0    16       WINTER CHILL (476)
 COBRA 5842                    3   6  0    15       THE SERPENTS (629)
 T.H.C. 5928                   2   1  1    14       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 THE RON 5914                  2   2  0    14       WARHAMMERS (75)
 ADDER 5920                    4   0  0    13       THE SERPENTS (629)
-KYEVERA LUERTEN 5876          3   2  0    13       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
 SGT STANDANKO 5929            2   1  0    13       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ICICLE 4273                   2   1  0    13       WINTER CHILL (476)
 BANE 5946                     2   0  0    13       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-FE MALE 5211                  3   1  0    12       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 CHEECH 5930                   1   2  1    12       SMOKED OUT!!! (637)
 SWAMP CALL HAMMER 5985        1   0  0    12       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-PUCK 5919                     1   1  0    11       FREEDONIA (32)
 HOWLTUSK 5943                 1   2  0    11       BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
 ALTORA 5925                   1   1  0    11       AVENGERS BANE (636)
-LUCIANN CIOCCO 5936           1   0  0    10       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 MISS GULCH 5984               1   0  0    10       LAND OF OZ (217)
-BLADE PICKARD 5940            1   0  0    10       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 DAR-LOTTE 5967                1   0  0    10       LADIES OF DREAD (641)
 REBIRTH 5987                  1   0  0    10       INDIFFERENCE (611)
-FAERJAN SKORAS 5877           2   3  0     9       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
 GALIUS 5865                   1   6  0     9       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-BONECLAW 5857                 0   3  0     9       CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
-LADY PERI 5599                2   1  0     7       DESOLATE ONES (524)
-SOLTAN  HELLER 5955           1   0  0     6       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
-LADY FIRST 5600               1   2  0     5       DESOLATE ONES (524)
 SNOW SQUALL 4274              1   0  0     5       WINTER CHILL (476)
 BLIZZARD 4275                 1   0  0     5       WINTER CHILL (476)
-LORD DESOLATE 5884            0   1  0     5       EMPIRE RISING (633)
 HEIR APPARENT 5881            0   1  0     5       EMPIRE RISING (633)
 SMOKESCREEN 5944              1   1  0     4       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 LORD ATREYU 5924              1   1  0     4       AVENGERS BANE (636)
-IARYO FELUNNDA 5875           0   4  0     4       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
-CUMTOLUMPSCUM 5908            0   4  0     4       FREEDONIA (32)
-TRILLA LILLEIR 5874           0   3  0     3       ARCANE ANGELS (632)
 SWAMP THUG HAMMER 5948        0   3  0     3       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SWAMP MESS HAMMER 5947        0   3  0     3       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 BOOSTER PYRITE 5964           0   2  0     2       DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
 SABIEN FAUST 5926             0   2  0     2       AVENGERS BANE (636)
 MAGNUS CROYLE 5905            0   2  0     2       AVENGERS BANE (636)
-MARY MAZERO 5937              0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 CANDI-LOTE 5969               0   1  0     1       LADIES OF DREAD (641)
 STORMBORNE 6002               0   1  0     1       BLACK STORM (171)
 SHAR-DAI 5966                 0   1  0     1       LADIES OF DREAD (641)
-LYNDA BRAUTIGAM 5939          0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 SMAL-L-FRI 5965               0   1  0     1       LADIES OF DREAD (641)
-ACE STARNOWSKY 5938           0   1  0     1       REPLICA STEEL (638)
 CHRIS-DAI 5968                0   1  0     1       LADIES OF DREAD (641)
 MICHELE CLOUGH 5989           0   1  0     1       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
 ANTOINE L'JOI 5988            0   1  0     1       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
SWAMP TRAP HAMME 5442 14  5 1 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ 594 CYRUS THE GREAT 5681  238         
SEVERIK SAVA 5923      0  1 0 AVENGERS BANE 636     MOMBA 5945            239         
BLAH 5982              0  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    THE BARTENDER 26      240 NONE    
SIMON MAGUS 5806       4  4 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    KILL*SWITCH 5809      237         
WYAND VOIDFINGER 5918  1  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    SHINJO 5886           237         
ISHMAIL VILEHAND 5942  0  1 0 BAAL'S MINIONS 626    CHEECH 5930           238         
BOO-BOO 5935           1  3 0 THE BEAR'S PAW 150    ARENAMASTER OKEL 23   240 NONE    
VALLHALAN 5892         1  4 0 BLACK STORM 171       DARRELL DEATH 25      240 NONE    
MR. COFFEE 24          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          PAUL BEARER 5187      240 NONE    
PUTRID PATRICK 19      0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 240 NONE    
SIDESWIPE 5958         1  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396     T.H.C. 5928           240         
WHATAPUTZ 5 5986       0  1 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463    THE BARTENDER 26      240 NONE    
BUSTED WING 5864       4  2 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   PUTRID PATRICK 19     240 NONE    
PARAKEET 5830          2  6 0 FEATHERS FLYIN' 585   DARRELL DEATH 25      240 NONE    
UNLEASH 5603           2  2 1 INDIFFERENCE 611      BAPHOMET 22           240 NONE    
AHURA MAZDA 5152      13 15 1 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   MORWHEN 5686          236 NOT REVE

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
ETIENNE DUPLAIX 5377   7 14 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   ORC PLAGUE 5501       238         
JEAN ST. OMER 5911     0  3 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568   SIEGE BEST 5797       238         
CASSIDY 5705           8  6 1 THE MARAUDERS 619     ICHORID 5584          239         
MARCH 3197             7  8 0 MINSTRELS 353         SISTER MERCY 5526     236 NOT REVE
RIPE TRIPE 5904        0  4 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416  MR NICE GUY 5931      239         
NOTWORTHMYTIME 6000    0  1 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 PUTRID PATRICK 19     240 NONE    
NOTWASTINMYTIME 6001   0  1 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 BAPHOMET 22           240 NONE    
SHORTLIFESPAN 5824     0  1 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 CARDIAC CRAIG 21      240 NONE    
CLINTONLIKESBUSH 5318 16 10 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 LOWELL 5569           239         
SISTER MARYKATE 5835   2  2 1 OLD HABITS 566        BEAR SKINRUG 5399     236 NOT REVE
WOW 5495               5  7 1 PALINDROMES 599       SISTER MARY SUEE 5671 236 NOT REVE
BOA 5839               1  4 0 THE SERPENTS 629      BULLPEN ACE 5907      236 NOT REVE
LUCIFERETTE 5053       3  3 0 WARHAMMERS 75         BOGBANE 5500          238 JUST REV
NORTH WIND 4272        0  1 0 WINTER CHILL 476      WURM KIN 27           240 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

I hate Sun Tzu, Crip, and the grey mules they rode in on.  I hope they choke on maple
syrup and get spanked with hockey sticks! -- Field Mouse (An Ozer for a very short
period.)

But watch out for me, my pretties!  I'm coming after you.  (Thanks to Crip for
killing the worthless mouse and giving me my well-deserved chance.) -- Miss Gulch
(also Wicked Witch Of Both East & West)

Jack & Jill -- You BOTH challenged?  With that style you could not win?  Do you take
two losses and I get two wins? -- Humbug (not feeling so bah)

Kill*Switch -- Well, shucks.  Maybe next time, you studly dwarf. -- Magic Wand

Devout Christian -- Perhaps you needed more prayers?  That was short and sweet and
the only other thing I have to offer is "amen". -- BOQ

Kyevera Luerten -- It does not pay to mess with a lion. -- King Of Beasts

Crip and Slugbait -- It was a wonderful time at The Face.  Thanks for being there.
Those lazy sluggards Father O and Mannequin missed the fun. -- Oz The All Thankful

Drake -- Welcome back.  Welcome back big time! -- Oz The All Excited

Sister Mary Sarah -- You look very spiritual on top of SCOMSS Swamp.  Please bestow a
blessing on us Ozers. -- Oz The All Praising

Fighting Tree -- An 18+3, 11+1, 8, 15+1, 18+1, 14, 7+1 mediocre-at-best basher
slipped on into retirement at 15-15-1.  (10-21 in tournaments as the events demanded
his improvement.)  He as moderately hosed on damage and -3 init.  He seemed to do OK
with the mace (69/316/3--2 kills) and even better with the dagger (6/16/2) BUT his
faves were QS/Mod/Very Low, but, then, who cares. -- Oz The All Windbaggy

Hammer -- Yes, indeed, life is good. -- Humbug (no "bah")

D.K. Toker -- Message passed on to the lovely Lady Fern.  Welcome back to The Swamp,
my friend. -- Oz The Welcome Wagon

Dark Knights -- Blackstorm is back in action and here to stay.  Splurged too much
gold and couldn't pay the wages.  The coffers are now full.  Let's slap 'em silly. --
Dark Knight Blackstorm

Mgr. Announcement -- All -- What's the meaning of this?  Having my stable slosh for
days through this mosquito infested swamp to get to the arena, only to discover we
had to fight under the burden of exhaustion.  Exhaustion I tell ya!  Alas, no
mosquitoes will get past our 'epees' now.  So sayeth.

Adder -- When this swelling goes down I'll have my eye on you. -- Magnas

Momba -- Vengeance hath been sworn.

Trilla- -- I hate to see you go...but I loved to watch you leave. -- Lord Atreyu

Bremm -- Careful where you stick that Maul.  That's no way to treat a lady!  Unless
she's an orc...oh, wait, you're welcome. -- Sabien

Baphomet -- You don't speak for anyone and you definitely don't need to stick your
nose into DEA business!  In fact don't speak unless spoken to!!  You may be able to
fool all of the people sometimes or some of the people all the time, but you cannot
fool my Desolate Brothers into thinking you're about anything--on the sands or off!
Remember that! -- D.K. Heathen Hatebred
P.S.  A downchallenge where you have 13 more FE and you get killed?!?  You still
haven't learned a thing, have you?

Desolate Brothers -- I'm trying to make it back here, but funds have been very
limited.  After the Quest I will be here or DM 31--likely the latter!  Let our
enemies' blood splatter the arena walls! -- D.K. Heathen

Wisdom is as a flower from which the bee its honey makes and the spider poison--each
according to his own nature.

Max -- Neither do I.  I hope you brought it all and the kitchen sink.  You'll need
it. -- Dark Knight Blackstorm

Dark Knight Toker -- Like you said, but I'd also send them to bed without supper.
(ha ha) -- D K Blackstorm

Arcane Angels -- I once knew a villain named Soltan Gris who had a archnemesis named
Jeffrto Heller, A.K.A. JP Rockacenter JR!  That was a long time ago and I was just
wondering if your Soltan Haller was related?  Either way, I love the name. -- D.K.
Toker

V.C. -- Win something?  What have you won?  Nothing that I've seen!  Talk about
yapping gums, just shut up, lames! -- D.K. Toker (laughing at the stupidity of the
V.C.'s statements!)

D.K. Kon and Blackstorm -- All should be back here soon.  Most including myself
didn't plan on fighting here on a regular basis until the next TW!  However,
considering the wonderful war we have going now, we will lay the pipe in them here,
31, and 52.  And anywhere else they want!  May your warriors' blades be stained with
V.C. blood! -- Dark Knight Toker, mgr. Smoked Out!!! (637)

Sensei Jan -- 6-2-0 to 1-0-0 and ten rec pts advantage.  Now I know what Baphomet was
talking about!  Your strategy is questionable in the honor department when it is done
repeatedly like you seem to do.  I do promise it will be returned in kind.  Hope you
don't run when the situation is reversed! -- Dark Knight Toker, Desolate Empire

M.D. -- I appreciate your email, regardless of the war, it shows you have class! --
D.K. Toker

All -- Vendetta Cartel -- Just like in 52 where I stated that I play every turn in:
DM-1, 18, 31, 47, 52 and 104 plus 21 and 59 here and there.  Come see me anytime you
choose.  No running, and I'm not going to look like an idiot listing every arena
where there might be one D.E. team active.  You all know where we are. -- Dark Knight
Toker

Fred Bear -- Darn it! You were supposed to cry "Uncle", not run away and strike back.
-- Jack McFarland

Clintonlikesbush -- I thought you had thicker skin than that.... -- Lowell

Drake -- Nice to see you back. -- Mannequin

Vallhalan -- Is that a name or nationality? -- Da Ting

Swamp Storm -- Savagely defeated?!  Savagely defeated?!  When *I* was the one pushing
the action?  Where do we find these announcers anyway? -- Booster Pyrite

Desolate Empire -- How's that war going for ya? -- The Tabby of Tease: Kat

Jack McFarland -- You're flexible, I'll give you that.  However, you might want to
bulk up a little. -- Fred Bear

Faerjan -- You, Sir, are a pain in the Skoras. -- Bexar

Cup of Toe -- Your little foray sealed Paul Bearer's fate.  He sleeps with the fishes
tonight. -- The Devon Rex of Doom: Kat

Asp -- Ditto.  See above for Boo-Boo -- The Russian Blue of Repetitiveness: Kat

DRAKE! -- Welcome back!  Great reading! -- The Lithsom Lynx of Literacy:  Kat

10 July 2006
The Dark Knights sat at the Dark Table with grim faces.  All present knew that there
could be no quarter.  The Forces of Desolation would be unleashed.  There would be no
turning back, no mercy and no hesitation to do what was necessary.  Teeth gritted and
knuckles whitened with fury as the IMPERIAL PROCLAMATION was signed by each Dark
Knight.
     AS OF JULY 1, 2006 -- WAR IS DECLARED ON THE ALLIANCE KNOWN AS THE VENDETTA
CARTEL.
     The Desolate Empire -- Dark Knights:  Ancient Creep, Blackstorm, Dok Sik, Goat,
Heathen, Hatebred, Kon, Osiris, Toker, Wasby the Great

14 July 2006
In response to the Desolate Empire's declaration of war, the Vendetta Cartel offers
the following response:

The members of the Vendetta Cartel can be found in 1, 8, 9, 10,  11, 14, 22, 25, 28,
31, 39, 45, 47, 50, 52, 54, 59, 60, 100, and 106.  Stop yapping in the all-arena ads,
pick an arena, issue a challenge, actually win something, and then maybe (and we
stress maybe) you may speak.  You may come to our home arenas (8, 31, and 47) and
confront us, but we suggest you learn to win in your own "home" arena (52) first.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PAUL BEARER butchered MR. COFFEE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN slaughtered PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
BUSTED WING was assassinated by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
UNLEASH was butchered by BAPHOMET in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
PARAKEET was assassinated by DARRELL DEATH in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
VALLHALAN was slaughtered by DARRELL DEATH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BOO-BOO was butchered by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
WHATAPUTZ 5 was easily killed by THE BARTENDER in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
NOTWORTHMYTIME was slaughtered by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
NOTWASTINMYTIME was slaughtered by BAPHOMET in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
SHORTLIFESPAN was slain by CARDIAC CRAIG in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BLAH was savagely slain by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena match.
NORTH WIND was executed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TEMPUS subdued BOGBANE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Bloodfeud match.
ORC PLAGUE overcame CUP OF TOE in a exciting 1 minute veteran's Challenge contest.
HUMBUG was devastated by RED DRAGON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
BOQ overcame DROW in a action packed 5 minute gory Challenge fight.
MY MISO MUTE was outwaited by BLACK THUNDER in a 19 minute expert's Challenge duel.
TWIGGY devastated FADE TO BLACK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
DA TING overpowered CHAOS BOAST in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BEXAR was overpowered by TEN IS RAQUET in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BULLPEN ACE devastated CHEECH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
LONELY SON overpowered SMOKESCREEN in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
LORD ATREYU was overpowered by MOMBA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
MR NICE GUY handily defeated SWAMP THUG HAMMER in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
MAGNUS CROYLE was subdued by ADDER in a 3 minute novice's Challenge fight.
T.H.C. barely slew SIDESWIPE in a action packed 3 minute novice's Challenge match.
SGT STANDANKO was defeated by SIEGE BEST in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
FRED BEAR savagely defeated MASTER DARQUE in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
MINOR BLUE was handily defeated by JACK MCFARLAND in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
KILLING JOKE was vanquished by B.B. CROSS in a 1 minute one-sided Title bout.
SWAMP LILY HAMMER savagely defeated SUCULANT in a popular 4 minute expert's duel.
LOWELL savagely defeated JACK & JILL in a 2 minute brutal veteran's fight.
DON KING overpowered SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a exciting 1 minute bloody uneven bout.
MAGIC WAND viciously subdued DRAGONFLY PIE in a 3 minute bloody fight.
BEAR SKINRUG was demolished by LITTLE BIG MAN in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BLACKENED was beaten by DRAMA QUEEN in a popular 4 minute fray.
EVICSERATOR was subdued by CHONG in a 2 minute match.
KILL*SWITCH handily defeated ROGER L'BEAU in a popular 1 minute uneven match.
ASP was overpowered by STORMSTRIKE in a 1 minute bloody one-sided duel.
KING OF BEASTS demolished GALIUS in a 1 minute uneven competition.
THE RON was overpowered by PYTHON in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
COBRA was viciously subdued by PERMAFROST in a exciting 3 minute bloody struggle.
BREMM SPARKFIST vanquished CHRIS-DAI in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
ALTORA devastated MICHELE CLOUGH in a 1 minute mismatched match.
SABIEN FAUST was handily defeated by SWAMP CALL HAMMER in a 2 minute conflict.
SWAMP STORM beat CANDI-LOTE in a 2 minute novice's fight.
ICICLE overpowered SWAMP MESS HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HOWLTUSK overpowered HEIR APPARENT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BANE overcame BOOSTER PYRITE in a 1 minute novice's duel.
DAR-LOTTE demolished ANTOINE L'JOI in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
SHAR-DAI was narrowly defeated by SNOW SQUALL in a 4 minute novice's battle.
MISS GULCH beat MAXIMILLIAN in a 1 minute amateur's conflict.
SMAL-L-FRI was handily defeated by REBIRTH in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BLIZZARD subdued STORMBORNE in a 1 minute amateur's battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 18         WALL OF STEEL     64 -  42 -  3      60  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  15         PARRY-LUNGE       21 -  14 -  2      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     14         TOTAL PARRY      114 -  79 -  4      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         AIMED BLOW        39 -  29 -  2      57  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         STRIKING ATTACK  112 - 105 - 12      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         LUNGING ATTACK    90 - 102 - 12      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         SLASHING ATTACK   49 -  73 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         PARRY-STRIKE      23 -  40 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    59 - 103 -  8      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   6 -  0      14  |

Turn 240 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  5         4  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        6 -  8         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         5 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  8         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  9     BASHING ATTACK     5 - 10         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  5         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  B.B. CROSS 5323            17   5  4  154 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
AIMED BLOW       LOWELL 5569                13   5  2  127 SECOND BANANAS (573)
TOTAL PARRY      RED DRAGON 5585            14   6  0  103 CHAOTIX BEASTS (610)
PARRY-LUNGE      SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441     14   7  0   97 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
LUNGING ATTACK   KILLING JOKE 5611          16  10  1   93 INDIFFERENCE (611)
WALL OF STEEL    ORC PLAGUE 5501             7   3  2   89 DARQUE FORCES (396)
SLASHING ATTACK  MINOR BLUE 5326            13   9  1   84 FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
BASHING ATTACK   LITTLE BIG MAN 5393        13   9  1   66 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MINOR BLUE 5326.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SWAMP LILY HAMMER 5441.  The ten other most popular fighters were BLACKENED 5531, 
PERMAFROST 4276, TEMPUS 4635, DROW 5674, SIDESWIPE 5958, MAGIC WAND 5771, SWAMP CALL 
HAMMER 5985, SHORTLIFESPAN 5824, BLAH 5982, and FRED BEAR 5348.

The least popular fighter this week was MY MISO MUTE 4018.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BLACK THUNDER 3885, SMAL-L-FRI 5965, ANTOINE L'JOI 5988, HEIR 
APPARENT 5881, SWAMP MESS HAMMER 5947, MICHELE CLOUGH 5989, CHRIS-DAI 5968, GALIUS 
5865, ASP 5843, and ROGER L'BEAU 5828.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

B.B. CROSS (47-5323) FEATHERS FLYIN' (585)
JACK MCFARLAND (47-5481) SECOND BANANAS (573)

               NEW TEAMS IN THE TEMPORARY TOURNAMENT ARENAS (DM 81/83)

Please note that all new teams created at the Face-to-Face were temporarily placed 
in a temporary Tournament Arena, DM 81 or DM 83.  If you requested that your team be 
placed in a specific arena, it has already transferred to that arena.  Any teams not 
transferred out of DM 81 and DM 83 by September 1st will be deleted.  If you have 
questions about any of your teams, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI 

               NEW GRADUATES--FROM ALL ARENAS (INCLUDING CLOSED ARENAS)

     For those of you who keep track of such things, 5 additional warriors graduated 
from regular DM arenas (including closed arenas) since the last tournament.  

                       SNOTTYMAN (40-3685) of THEY TRAINED ME!
                            HORRID (65-6385) of LEGION IV
                         JUDICIOUSLY (82-27214) of ADVERBS II
                      TERRICONUS (82-27651) of THE GLORIOUS DARK
                      FLABBY-O (82-30720) of STREET PIZZAD XXII

Congrats to the grads. -- Green Eyes