DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 11/28/2006 Duedate: 12/25/2006 DOUBLE-X ARENA DM-47 TURN-244 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS BOQ LAND OF OZ (217) (47-5873) [12-0-0,106] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader DON KING NIGHTCRAWLER ROYAL FLUSH (48) X-MEN II (660) (47-5374) [13-12-1,123] (47-6237) [6-3-1,55] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite HUMBUG LITTLE BIG MAN LAND OF OZ (217) NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) (47-5199) [21-16-1,98] (47-5393) [14-12-1,66] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM THINGS I DROOL IN (614) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. STRANGE BREW (661) 49 2. CHEERS (659) 43 THE OPERA (613) 3. THE OPERA (613) 40 Unchartered Team 4. OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) 38 5. IRON LEGION (652) 34 STRANGE BREW (661) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*STRANGE BREW (661) 4 1 1 80.0 1/ 1 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) 8 4 1 2/ 0*OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) 4 1 0 80.0 2/ 2 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 8 7 1 3/ 0*CHEERS (659) 4 1 0 80.0 3/10 SALEM'S LOT (605) 8 7 1 4- 2 OLD HABITS (566) 65 33 6 66.3 4/ 5 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 8 7 0 5/ 0 THE OPERA (613) 40 25 2 61.5 5- 4*SMOKED OUT!!! (637) 7 3 1 6/ 4 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 289 186 24 60.8 6/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217) 7 6 0 7/ 3 LOST SOULS (618) 45 29 7 60.8 7/ 7 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) 7 7 0 8/ 5 LAND OF OZ (217) 496 320 14 60.8 8/ 9 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) 6 2 0 9/ 0*TIMELY HEROES (656) 3 2 0 60.0 9/11 THE SERPENTS (629) 6 9 2 10/ 6 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) 37 25 4 59.7 10/ 3 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 6 9 1 11- 7 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 42 30 3 58.3 11/13*WOMEN OF WAR (650) 5 5 1 12- 8 SECOND BANANAS (573) 87 66 10 56.9 12/ 0*STRANGE BREW (661) 4 1 1 13- 9*SMOKED OUT!!! (637) 17 13 4 56.7 13/ 0*CHEERS (659) 4 1 0 14/10 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) 144 113 4 56.0 14/ 0 THE OPERA (613) 4 1 0 15/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 631 511 33 55.3 15/ 0*OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) 4 1 0 16/12 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 63 56 6 52.9 16/23 LOST SOULS (618) 4 5 0 17/13 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 359 320 33 52.9 17/ 8 WARHAMMERS (75) 4 6 0 18/14 SALEM'S LOT (605) 49 45 5 52.1 18/17 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 4 7 0 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/16 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 70 67 6 51.1 19/ 0 DARK PINNACLE (598) 3 1 0 20-18 DARQUE FORCES (396) 113 113 9 50.0 20/ 0*TIMELY HEROES (656) 3 2 0 21/ 0 DARK PINNACLE (598) 54 54 5 50.0 21/26 GAELIC STORM (647) 3 9 1 22/ 1*WOMEN OF WAR (650) 5 5 1 50.0 22/12 BLACK STORM (171) 3 11 0 23-20 RONIN (651) 194 198 17 49.5 23/16*ABYSMAL RITES (215) 3 12 0 24/19 RAT SALAD (577) 24 27 0 47.1 24-18 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 2 0 0 25/23 BLACK STORM (171) 105 124 9 45.9 25-19 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 2 1 0 26/21 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 26 31 0 45.6 26/ 0*X-MEN II (660) 2 3 0 27-25 INDIFFERENCE (611) 75 90 5 45.5 27-15 DARQUE FORCES (396) 2 3 0 28/24 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) 35 42 1 45.5 28/ 0 DESOLATE ONES (524) 2 3 0 29/ 0 DESOLATE ONES (524) 78 96 12 44.8 29/ 0*IRON LEGION (652) 2 3 0 30/27 THE SERPENTS (629) 29 36 3 44.6 30/31*INFERNAL CABARET (648) 2 7 0 31/26 WARHAMMERS (75) 233 292 13 44.4 31/29 RAT SALAD (577) 2 7 0 32-28 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 31 42 3 42.5 32-27 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 1 0 0 33/ 0*X-MEN II (660) 18 25 2 41.9 33-22 OLD HABITS (566) 1 1 0 34/29 GAELIC STORM (647) 46 68 3 40.4 34/14 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 1 3 0 35/ 0*IRON LEGION (652) 2 3 0 40.0 35/25 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 1 7 0 36-31 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 63 96 3 39.6 36-32 SECOND BANANAS (573) 0 4 0 37/30*EMPIRE RISING (633) 4 7 1 36.4 37-35*MOOSE'S MINNIONS (646) 0 3 0 38/32*ABYSMAL RITES (215) 8 18 1 30.8 38/ 0*DRANG'S TEAM (649) 0 3 0 39/34*INFERNAL CABARET (648) 2 7 0 22.2 39- 0*JGW PERISHABLE (653) 0 2 0 40-36*MOOSE'S MINNIONS (646) 0 3 0 0.0 40-34 INDIFFERENCE (611) 0 2 0 41/ 0*DRANG'S TEAM (649) 0 3 0 0.0 41/28*EMPIRE RISING (633) 0 1 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Baphomet stood in the cavern, jaw agape at what lay before him. The purring of Free-Jay the cat filled the area, putting Baffy into a trance. He began to reflect on the events that led him to be there. Two days prior, he had been in the marketplace at Stormcrowe. He was there to purchase an unguent for chafing caused by ill-fitting armor. A very large, stupid looking man carrying a bastard sword approached him. The simpleton grabbed his sleeve, tugging on it and uttering, "A Back Ass." Baphomet, being rather perplexed, responded, "What?" The Giant one began dragging him out of the market, repeating "A Back Ass, A Back Ass!" As the two got to the edge of town, the large man approached a riding lizard as Baffy said, "I don't understand." Throwing the wizard across the saddle the man mumbled, "Wazzy sweep A Back Ass!" Baphomet yelled, "Who are you?" The giant one replied, "Me Groo, we go, come now!" After two days of riding, with Groo saying nothing but "A Back Ass" repeatedly, they arrived at a small cave entrance. The behemoth dismounted, dragging Baphomet into the cave and mumbling "A Back Ass" the whole time. Deep in the cave, they came upon the cavern that was filled with Free-Jay's purring. In an alcove on the left side of the chamber lay the comatose form of Abraxis, with Free-Jay purring contentedly on his crotch. Baphomet stood speechless, staring at the sight before him. He couldn't help but notice how resplendent Free-Jay looked. The poor cat usually looked so disheveled and frowzy that Baffy almost didn't recognize him. Baphomet began to ponder the situation. He knew that with his arcane ability, he could easily awake the sleeping Druid, but dare he? Abraxis had so many enemies and caused such trouble. What the hell, the Turf War was coming up and he sure could use the Druid's help. As he completed his chant, the pontificating Druid sat up muttering, "That vile Dastard Wasby, how dare he?" Groo echoed, "Wazzy." The narcissistic Druid began a long droning diatribe, about the young upstart. Somehow from his tirade, Baphomet gleaned a small bit of truth. He realized that Wasby the Great was responsible for the Druid's condition and that there would be hell to pay. To Be Continued * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * It was a stormy night in North Fork, and the steady rain began to pick up in intensity, creating thousands of quick running streams throughout the increasingly wet city. Rumors had been swirling about the past few days of black riders being seen nearby, both on the open roads and in the surrounding countryside. Despite the gloom that hung over the water-slicked, cobbled town, there was at least one building on the edge of the west side of town, the Prancing Pony it was called, where bright lights and the cacophony of voices sent a less bleak message out into the dark of the night. Inside, the proprietor of the establishment, Burlyman Butterbean, was patiently explaining to a quartet of earnest looking little folk that the back room had already been reserved (he was instructed to not say to whom), and that there was *no* man named "Strident" here, and that perhaps they should look for shelter in another tavern nearby before it got much worse. As the hobbits left into the cold and wet night, two men entered the tavern, the howl of the wind and rain abruptly stopping as the door slammed shut behind them. The shorter of the two, a no-nonsense looking sort of fellow with a weathered face and bright eyes walked up to Butterbean, his companion following close behind. "Are they here?" the man asked, the din of the room nearly drowning him out but his tone and demeanor unmistakably informing the proprietor that he would brook no nonsense. His bright eyes quickly scanned the back of the tavern. "Aye, 'Taker," Butterbean replied, rolling his "r's" while glancing warily at the shorter man's companion. He wore a cloak, which was so black the bartender could not tell if it was wet at all, or even the shape of the man beneath it aside from his outline. Over his head he wore a hood, which appeared to have a headdress of some sort underneath, but he could not be certain for his whole face was in shadow. "They're waiting." Outside the clatter of hoof-beats on cobbles sounded, and a group of high- pitched, curdling shrieks could barely be heard above the din of humanity at the Pony (author's note: no other tavern or inn in North Fork reported seeing four hobbits that night). As the two made their way to the back of the bar, whereas Soultaker had to apply hands and elbows to make his way through the crowd, his friend made no movement beneath his cloak. Bodies flew or seemed to be pushed instead of touching his dark form, but none of the offended offered challenge to the man, perhaps remembering the stories of the black riders. At the back of the Prancing Pony was a heavy, iron-bound door to which Soultaker grabbed the handle, pulling it outwards. When the door closed behind the two, all attention inside the bar returned back to any conversations that could be remembered, and to the quaffing of beverages which resumed at a slightly brisker pace. Behind the door past a brief hallway was a square room, in the middle of which stood a perfectly round table. Seated around it and facing the newcomers were four men: Slugbait, Crip, Oz and Mannequin. They stared at Soultaker and his companion, but said nothing. They had not been waiting long. "Gentlemen," Soultaker began after a pause, his dark friend staying behind him, "What happened last SCOMS was unacceptable, and whether we like it or not, we are the only ones to blame for our loss. "We got arrogant, we got lazy and complacent," Soultaker continued, now circling the table, looking at each member of the brotherhood in the eye as he passed their chair, "We allowed the enemy to come into our midst, undetected, comforted by our 'assured victory,' and we handed them the Turf War--lock, stock and bloody barrel." "Um, could you stop patting that Louisville slugger in your hand?" Slugbait politely asked, as the cagey, veteran manager had casually brandished a 45 oz.-er. "Yeah, you were just as guilty as the rest of us, if not more being the Sentinel's bosom-buddy, eh?" accused Crip, eyeing Soultaker warily. "Put that thing away, would you?" "You're right." sighed Soultaker, letting the bat head drop to the ground, then collapsed to his knees. "DAMMIT RAVEN, WHY DID YOU DO IT?!!?!?!?!?" The others waited a minute for Soultaker to gather his wits, a series of choked sobs coming from the betrayed manager before he composed himself. "As you all know," Soultaker continued, standing up and completing his circle around the table, "we promised there would be changes made before the start of the next Turf War. And at my insistence, you all trusted in me to make them." At that point Soultaker's friend stepped forward, and a pair of gauntleted hands rose from the cloak to pull back his hood. The looks on the faces of the SCOM said it all, ranging from shock, disbelief and terror to outright boredom. "Nuln?!!?" Oz exclaimed all-incredulously, his wide-eyed face staring even wider-eyedier at the skull-faced full helm the man wore, though something about the two horns on top seemed all too different. "By Demnat's litter box!" "Crikey!" muttered Crip. "What exactly's a Nuln?" asked Slugbait, a little perplexed by the whole affair. "MURDERING CHAOS LORD!!!" screamed Mannequin, who had been quiet up 'til that point, and pulled out a three-handed, four-bitted battle-axe, lobbing it end-over-end at the skull-faced man. Just as the man being accused of being Nuln stepped to the side, the door down the hall opened as Butterbean had the drinks they had ordered, the axe flying into the main room of the Prancing Pony and cleaving 23 men in half before lodging itself in a moose head wall on the far side of the inn. "Your mead." Butterbean announced nervously, and left the SCOMS quickly to their own business, closing and locking the door securely behind them and their guest. "I can understand your confusion, but gentlemen I can assure you this man is not Nuln." said Soultaker, grinning with a certain satisfaction. "No, allow me to introduce someone else altogether different. This is...Snuln!" "Snuln???" the SCOM said in unison. "Snulneth." affirmed the now slightly less mysterious man, nodding. Though none could see it, they all could tell he was smiling beneath his helm. "Snulneth." the SCOM said again in unison, this time in understanding. "I'll explain shortly," said Soultaker, picking up a glass of mead, "but in the mean-time, let us raise our glasses and drink to the Return of the SCOMSS!!!" "To the return of the SCOMSS!!!" they all cheered, and brought their glasses together. As they sat back down to ask questions of Soultaker and Snuln, Mannequin accidentally sat on the tavern cat, Biggslydale (who had innocently curled up on his chair), and killed him instantly. After a while and a few more drinks for all, several things were found out. What was a Snuln? Well, it was like a Nuln, except very different. A Snuln, technically, was a chaos clone of Nuln, but not an *exact* clone. No, Snuln was much eviller than the already evil Nuln. So much so that in comparison Nuln seemed good. Although in some magical way perhaps related to Nuln, Snuln was not the bumbling, clowning chaos lord that Nuln was. For one thing he was methodical, as well as being four times as deadly, twice as smart, slightly better dressed, and definitely more punctual. Soultaker had met him by chance at a "How To Get Back at Your Best Friend If He's Just Stabbed You in the Back" clinic in Murska, and instantly recognized the opportunity. The rest, as they say, is history. * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * A Relative Returns By: Dominic Spinella AKA Master Beru "Are we ready then?" His eyes searched the faces around him for signs of hesitation and fear. They knew what they faced and had not shrunk back at any point since they had first traveled. His brown eyes took in the faces and wondered which he would not see again. Sherman was the only one who had received Sheila's blessing before they left, so there would be no resurrection for those that fell. There were less than two thousand now. To think that he had entered that first gate with almost a hundred thousand so long ago and now it was only these few. Visions of that first trip through the gate were quickly running through his mind. He quickly forced those images to the deepest recesses of his mind as Rodara turned toward him. Her red hair was like a sunrise just begun with orange and red mixing together to bring a sense of peace and war all at once. Her delicate face held a commanding stare as she worked out the logistics of carrying those he had found to safety, but his mind saw that playful smile which lightened his heart and made the men sigh contentedly. The robes she wore were as threadbare as any other's, even though their army had demanded that she be kept well clothed and fed. She still managed to step around their wishes and suffer the same hardships as those around her, and never once complained. Her head turned as his gaze lingered and rewarded him with the small public smile which hinted at their shared memories. He grinned and gave her a wink, before walking up to the tree stump which had been cut off to provide a rough platform. As he stepped onto the space at the top, the men and women who made up their force let out a cheer which grew and grew. The adoration swept over him as he let them have their moment. Togan had always said that common men needed something miraculous to inspire them, and where the miraculous failed, a king or general had to suffice. He tried to remember how close he was to the anniversary of his advisor's death and could only narrow it to at least five years ago. As he ran into difficulty figure out more, he raised his hands to silence those around him. "BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!" The cheering went up again at the familiar form of address. They remembered his promise at the beginning, as well as Greywand's promise on top of it. They were already his brothers and sisters in many ways, and soon they would be more. "Brothers and Sisters, we have almost come full circle. Over the second ridge behind you lays the gate which will take us back to Alastari!" Another cheer went up as the realization crashed home to the rank and file. Rumors had been rampant for most of the year as they had traveled, but this was his first acknowledgement that they were going home. Many eyes suddenly held tears of joy and many people hugged the ones beside them. Some of the faces wore sadness though, as thoughts of those who were not with the group came to mind. "In minutes, we will form up to step off for the last time.This time though.... This time we have no rear guard. We have the main line, the defenders, and the reserves. All of us fight to return to our families and friends. All of us fight to bring Greywand her prizes! We all fight FOR ALASTARI!!!" Cheers went up as weapons were raised. The group was battle hardened now and knew what they faced so bravado was not present. Every mind knew that they might not see the next day, but if they did, they would see Alastari. If they did not see tomorrow, then they could pave the way for their friends and, in many instances, lovers. "We know our fight will be tough, but I tell you now that we will make it. With our home ahead and certain death behind, we cannot help but to take the gate. And now I can share something else with you. The 'key' that Greywand gave me, it will destroy the gate behind us so that we must merely reach the gate and pass through and our fight is through. Now we do not know what the other side will hold, so we must still be wary, but we know what Alastari offers much more than we know this place, correct?" Another cheer was raised and it was obvious that those listening were almost done. Rosemary, Jason, Picker, Sherman, and on and on and on the names went. "For the Blue Falcon! For Greywand! FOR ALASTARI!!!" The chant was raised and his small army showed all evidence of being ready to march. Looking at his Captains, he nodded at them. Within seconds they sprang into action yelling and occasionally thumping those too slow in their opinions. Tents began collapsing as the campsite disappeared, one dome at a time. Returning to the ground, Master Beru was walking to his wife when he spotted his most trusted Captain approaching. Freddie was amazing in a fight and had a great rapport with all of the soldiers. Perhaps when they got back, they would be able to get him back in the arena. That would bring back fond memories. Stopping in front of Master Beru, the man bowed deeply before taking up his stance. He looked ready to kill in a blink, which was always useful in this horrible place. Master Beru wondered if he would have liked Freddie before being sent here. Although an interesting exercise in logic, it was irrelevant now that he felt Freddie had grown to be a brother to him. "Freddie. You will have the reserve unit. I know you like leading the charge, but this is more important. Motioning with his hand, Master Beru moved away from others and pulled out the small device which he had carefully guarded for almost fifteen years. The slim device was round and flat on two sides, the entire piece being as thick as his hand and just barely larger than the same. Adjusting a small control which he had practiced many times, he actually set up the device the way he had been shown so long ago. They walked and talked at the same time with Master Beru pointing out how the device worked. "This is the key to getting us out of here. When I see a break, I will point you toward it and you WILL make a hole there for us to escape through. Once the hole is made, you will keep their guardians off us as we leave and then you will bring your soldiers through with you. I am attuning this to both of us. If either of us says 'SHESTNI ABRIN TAIREGORE' the gate with destroy itself. I will only say it if everyone is through or if their guardians are charging through the gate. For you.... You will have to decide when you feel it best to use the phrase if the time comes. Be aware, I have only one device, so after the phrase is said, the gate will be gone and even if you found another gate, there would be no way to open it. So, I will not order you." "You have never ordered me. You never questioned my courage before, please do not now. I will volunteer for this task. You and Sheila's prizes will get through. You have my oath on it. And I will make sure that none of the Warlord's guardians enter Alastari, that you have my oath on as well. And if possible, the rest of the army will be given time to fight clear." Master Beru's gaze took in the strong chin and decisive stare fondly. This man was a gem, even if no one else had ever seen it. It was truly a blessing to find someone with such a pure heart and desire to serve. As the general he had to make the hard decisions and this was one he wished he could avoid, but the facts were too evident. Freddie was their best chance of returning to Alastari. They had to win. "Freddie, thank you. The first round of drinks are mine when we return to Lapur." "I'll hear none of it. It isn't decent for a general to have to buy a round of drinks when his Captain is sitting there. Now you better get back there before the entire lot of them decides to leave without you." Master Beru lingered for a moment and saw the same unspoken reassurances. Reaching out his arm, he clasped Freddie's right hand and arm and gave it a squeezing handshake. Turning on his heel, he marched off, shouting orders to get the soldiers formed up. Behind him, Master Beru did not see the sigh or the longing look that Freddie directed at Rosemary. His face twisted for a moment before he brought it under control again. As he strode toward the Reserve unit, he pushed aside the thought of letting his lieutenant know about his change of duty. She would be mad, but at least she would have a chance. He could not bring the woman he loved to a certain death. "Okay, gather around. Across the next rise, approximately three thousand Jusi Mein Taur, warriors of the society of the spear, stand between us and the gate. These are well trained, first line troops of the Warlord with moderate armor, spears for distance, and a sword similar to a broadsword for close combat. They have good morale and at least three officers, so they are not likely to break when we approach." Master Beru looked at his officers as he talked. The light-hearted banter from an hour ago was buried beneath the boulders of responsibility which each carried. He knew their mettle and was reassured to see their attentiveness. With great care, he laid out his plan. A few questions came here and there, but the plan was fairly direct. Dismissing the officers, Master Beru stayed to answer last minute questions. As the questions wrapped up, he caught the tail-end of some heated words between Freddie and Rosemary. He did not hear much, but could read their looks well enough. He had once been concerned about having both male and female soldiers, but given the amount of time they had been gone he had long since gotten over that. Apparently soldiers were not the only ones to have found solace in each other's arms. For a moment he considered countermanding his earlier order, but he knew that their best chance lay with Freddie holding the gate while the rest fled into it. He would have stayed himself, but his orders had been clear. Greywand herself had made it very clear that his role was to be a leader and advisor, not a primary combatant. No more danger than necessary was to be risked by him, that's what his men were for. With an effort he turned away and walked to his Cat-aar. The animal looked too much like a horse at times, but the blue, red, and yellow which were their natural colors always helped bring him to the true facts. It had only taken a few weeks for their horses to die upon entering this strange domain and learning to use the Cat-aar had taken quite a while, but they were better for it. As he patted her long neck, Isben looked back at Master Beru expectantly, smiling through the razor sharp teeth which enabled her to eat meat and serve as an excellent means of attack as well. Grabbing the extra length of strap, he climbed up into the saddle, taking the reins in his hands. Pulling back on the reins, Isben rose up on her hind legs allowing Master Beru a look around. The soldiers were lining up in five blocks as he had ordered with the two most important between the two in front and one in back. "We eat now?" Turning his head slightly, Master Beru took one hand off the reins to scratch behind Isben's ear. Her face held an eagerness that would have seemed right on a child, but the topic made innocence impossible. She was always hungry as near as he could tell, but she kept her appetites hidden well. Unfortunately when she sensed that she was about to eat she did not hide her appetites at all. "Yes Isben. We eat soon. Will your sisters join us again?" "We make a feast?" "I think we shall. Will they help prepare?" I will invite them! Silver shells, too?!" "Silver shells are not to be prepared!! I fear some may make the feast, but your sisters may not prepare them." Her face looked slightly hurt, but more frustrated. She always asked the same question about being able to eat Master Beru's dead soldiers and was always mad that he burned their bodies. But he had only made the mistake once of consenting to allowing silver shells as part of their feast. The surviving soldiers had almost revolted right then, not to mention the nightmares which still haunted him after twelve years. Cat-aars were messy eaters and tore their food apart to get to the 'most sweet spots'. The incident had taken weeks to smooth with the soldiers, not to mention his own conscience. The feel of his hands made his stomach roll as the memory of 'catching' a half-eaten head came back to his mind. Isben had been shaking the young officer's body when it suddenly snapped off and flew straight as a shot at him. His first instinct was to catch it and he would never forget the poor woman's eyes, dead already, but still accusingly staring at him as Isben asked for the 'top' back. Her eyes held a gleam now, as she enthusiastically asked, "You mean we can have silver shells?" "Isben, when the gate is gone, you may eat silver shells who are prepared. But you must finish dark shells and softies before silver shells. Understood?" Her nod was a small recompense for the agreement, but it might help them escape. No one would remain to burn the corpses anyway, so he might as well get a concession for the Cat-aars. That's what he told himself, he did not belief it though. "Sir, we are ready!" Looking at his soldiers, he wondered again whether this had been worth the cost. So many lost and so much of his life gone. Greywand must surely have a reason for this. Surely.... * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Greetings all -- I have been courteously invited by the Iron Council to participate with them in this season's Turf War. In appreciation for the invitation, a new legion has been formed in friendship with the Iron Council. I hereby declare my Iron Legion stands ready and fights under the banner of the Iron Council. Let our opponents tremble and a new Iron age commence. Seraphim * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Crypt Angel's blade tore into the soft flesh of Baby's hips, resulting in a mighty arc of blood flying across the arena. Baby cried out...well, like a baby, and collapsed upon the sand. Crypt Angel completed her mid-air twist, landing lightly on her feet, her crimson blade an inch from her opponent's throat. But Baby was done today. As the healers rushed towards them with the stretcher, Angel uttered, "Good fight, warrior. May you heal fast." As she walked back towards the changing rooms she passed Ichorid, leaning against the tunnel wall. "Took long enough," he whispered as she walked by. She didn't stop her descent down the arena tunnel ramp, just peered up slightly at him. She wasn't smiling. That didn't bother him in the least; but those blue tinted lips did. He would have to mention that to the Keeper. Crypt Keeper would have to pay better attention, or they would all be exposed. At least she won her battle, he thought. Ichorid couldn't say the same for himself. He had succumbed to exhaustion well into the fight. But what could Crypt Keeper expect when someone has to work with one lung? There was one member of Salem's Lot missing from today's fights. How many times would the Keeper keep sending Shade's Form to the Dark Arena? Keeper seemed to get a sick kind of pleasure doing it. Twice now Shade's Form had defeated the monsters at night. And yet Keeper still insisted on sending him there again! It all started after those bodies were found and the City Watch started asking questions.... New Ichorid prayed to his Dark Gods that whoever had discovered the portal in Fratsfa and ambushed the Hoplites (to see what happened read the spotlight in dm-52, turn 224) there hadn't figured out what was going down in North Fork, or there would be Hades to pay. New What Ichorid would give his last, semi-good lung for was answers...like why did the Keeper keep going far up the coast, even further north then Snowbound? And what plans was he cooking up that concerned this up coming contest...a contest that Salem's Lot was not even a part of? * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * NORTH FORK NEWS First Cycle 244 by Hammer the WordSmith "Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and nothing shall in any way harm you. -- St Luke 10:19 Amplified It had all started innocently enough. A dagger stuck near a doorway with a note attached. Threats were common enough in the swamp. Death was even more frequent. Time had passed since the last Turf War. The announcement came close on the heels of the rumors. Turf War Five was not just a far away dream. The contest was drawing ever nearer. New faces were arriving in the swamp. Announcements were being declared. Hammer had made the decision to run SWAMP LILY HAMMER straight to graduation. He could have deactivated her until TW5 got underway, but the veteran manager had a higher purpose in store for her. She had earned the right as his TW4 Champion to fight her way to the Isle. She was the first of her style to graduate from any Hammer stable. During these long years of waiting for the right Plunger to earn the honor Hammer had seen a few come and go. Now his heart was glad to know she was the first. There were those who criticized the veteran manager for not holding her back from the North Fork sands in order to score points in the Style Master category in the upcoming Turf War 5. Hammer had decided against it. SWAMP LILY HAMMER had earned the right to continue fighting. She had earned the right to seek immortality on the sands. Perhaps her replacement would be better or perhaps much worse. Hammer was willing to let her go to her reward on the Isle. Maybe even allow her to continue fighting for a time. She had earned the right to pursue glory. Now it was time for another to try. Her teammates would miss her. Hammer would miss her. Now was the time for making decisions about those who remained on the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ stable roster. To let them fight by torchlight or to take their chances in the Turf War 5 contest. Hammer would ponder upon this dilemma, but the veteran manager leaned towards the latter. "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!" Hammer Minister of War * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * Ladies and Gents, the Turf War will begin in a coupla turns and wanted to give you all a rundown on what I've received as of 11/24/06: Alliances Claimed: 1. Iron Council, Cpt.: Tripwire Tripwire, Ultraist, Jekyll, Otis the Drunk, Hucklecat, Hollowshade, Seraphim (no teams were mentioned, and I've received a cert only from Seraphim) 2. SCOMSS, Cpt. Sunov Bloodlust (only because he's the only one that's claimed for this alliance (received certs from Sunov Bloodlust, and Oz) 3. I also have RU Certs from Kat, Hammer and Baphomet (in the 3rd person) Don't forget, in order to begin scoring, you must list your team, alliance (and be verified by the alliance captain), and I must have cert in hand. Baphomet, host DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. Swamp Citizens, For those of you who are interested in my vital statistics, you will have to wait. Where my manager chooses to dwell, the dispatch riders must ride long and hard to bring the information. Alas, such information has not yet arrived from the Gladiatorial Commission. I will be gone on to the Isle and my reward long after you read the announcement. Hammer will choose when to declare such things There are many things I wish to say that will remain unsaid. Too many to thank to mention by name and I would not leave anyone unnamed. To the valiant, my sword is raised and to the cowardly, you already have your reward. Hammer has my thanks for allowing me to continue my quest to be his first Plunger to graduate to the Isle. I have not failed him and for that I am eternally grateful. Others will follow my path and others will die in my footsteps. Some are friends, some are enemies and most others are unknown as they have yet to enter the arena of the swamp. "Be true to your blade and your blade will be true to you!" SWAMP LILY HAMMER SPY REPORT Greetings warriors! It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the clash and bustle of the weekly DOUBLE-X games. My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall. This week OF WOLF AND MAN went 0-1-0 and fell 20 notches into 34th! Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner! Witness how this week SALEM'S LOT went 2-3-0 to move up 7 in the rankings. I could not but notice the fine record for OBSCURE LEGENDS (4-1-0) after their first round of combat. May the gods of war favor you in DOUBLE-X! A new guild, CHEERS, entered DOUBLE-X with a clash this turn, showing off a 4-1-0 record. Indeed, a worthy addition to the city guilds. I could not but notice the fine record for STRANGE BREW (4-1-1) after their first round of combat. May the gods of war favor you in DOUBLE-X! MADAME BUTTERFLY caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as she skillfully bested STORMSTRIKE and was awarded 22 points in recognition. In one of the week's more notable duels, MADAME BUTTERFLY put down STORMSTRIKE, causing him to lose 20 points of recognition in the process. This time victory fell to the grasp of the usurper. All hail BOQ, Duelmaster of DOUBLE-X! Would you believe that over half of the old women in DOUBLE-X seem to feel that they could fight better than you gladiators? But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades that is city DOUBLE-X. My inside sources tell me that the team to beat in DOUBLE-X these days is ROYAL FLUSH. At least, most blades in town are looking to avoid them. Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that spent the better part of last week avoiding ROYAL FLUSH. Indeed it was THE BEAR'S PAW. Loose talk at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters are after SUCULANT. Watch your back! For some warriors honor is not important--only empty victory. See, gladiators, how RED DEVIL of LOST SOULS challenged down 23 points to SUCULANT. All the city knows the duel went in favor of RED DEVIL. I shall not fail to spread the word in other cities of this "mighty" victory. Vendettas. Bloodied blades and broken spears. Indeed the city has seen more than its fair share of red in recent times. Look no more for MY MISO MUTE in the arena or on the streets of DOUBLE-X. His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena. Inevitable for one at 8-5-0. This week marked the last days of SHADE'S FORM who at 9-10-2 was dispatched to the Dark Arena by the command of SALEM'S LOT's demanding management. Was I the only one shocked to see the well respected fighter FAT-BOY (6-3-0) appear on the sands of the Dark Arena? He is now dead. My sources at ABYSMAL RITES stable claim they've never seen the guild bitterer. This as a result of the untimely demise of AQUILLA. Beware PYTHON! Let all swords of the city take heed! By law, SECOND BANANAS has but one remaining week to take their revenge upon SWAMP LILY HAMMER for the slaying of LOWELL. Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms. One thing is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt! If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times already in DOUBLE-X. Nice atmosphere you have here! More than a sharp eye must I keep, indeed a stout pair of legs must I keep as well! The endless paths of Alastari await me! Till next we meet remember: a fool flies into a rage quickly and often. The wise are angered by the same thing only once. Zontani Sharp Eyes DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BOQ 5873 12 0 0 106 LAND OF OZ (217) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME DON KING 5374 13 12 1 123 ROYAL FLUSH (48) -SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 21 3 0 121 OLD HABITS (566) RED DEVIL 5732 8 4 0 113 LOST SOULS (618) -PROHIBITION 5607 13 12 0 111 INDIFFERENCE (611) FRED BEAR 5348 18 10 0 107 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) HUMBUG 5199 21 16 1 98 LAND OF OZ (217) RAZOR 5689 9 3 2 96 LOST SOULS (618) MORWHEN 5686 11 6 2 95 LOST SOULS (618) -ORC PLAGUE 5501 8 4 2 94 DARQUE FORCES (396) -KILLING JOKE 5611 16 10 1 93 INDIFFERENCE (611) -SISTER SLEDGE 5341 11 3 1 93 OLD HABITS (566) WOZZECK 5644 9 6 0 91 THE OPERA (613) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME OPAI 5735 10 3 0 89 DARK PINNACLE (598) WYRD 5167 12 6 0 88 DESOLATE ONES (524) -LAST CALL 5606 11 10 0 88 INDIFFERENCE (611) ROISIN DUBH 6038 11 11 1 82 GAELIC STORM (647) -SPECTRE 5654 7 3 1 81 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) JACK & JILL 5310 16 14 0 80 ROYAL FLUSH (48) SUCULANT 3589 15 17 1 78 WARHAMMERS (75) CUP OF TOE 5433 10 4 1 77 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) TEMPUS 4635 15 15 1 76 WARHAMMERS (75) MAGIC WAND 5771 11 5 0 75 LAND OF OZ (217) PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659 9 4 2 75 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) DRAMA QUEEN 5494 13 10 0 73 ROYAL FLUSH (48) SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439 12 13 2 71 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) -SISTER MERCY 5526 7 5 1 71 OLD HABITS (566) BEXAR 5906 7 3 0 69 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) -DA TING 5129 5 1 0 69 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) -BLOOD RAYNE 5489 14 10 1 68 DARK PINNACLE (598) DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 16 15 4 67 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -HANTA 5443 9 7 0 67 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 14 12 1 66 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) -CYANIDE 5444 7 7 2 66 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) -KILL*SWITCH 5809 6 2 1 66 DARQUE FORCES (396) BLACK THUNDER 3885 14 14 0 64 BLACK STORM (171) EVICSERATOR 5358 13 13 1 64 BLACK STORM (171) ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552 11 7 1 64 SALEM'S LOT (605) PRINCE IGOR 5640 7 2 0 63 THE OPERA (613) CRYPT ANGEL 5553 9 9 1 62 SALEM'S LOT (605) RHIANNON 6031 10 9 0 61 GAELIC STORM (647) MY SLEEP 5657 6 7 0 58 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) -DEMONIC HEX 5530 10 4 0 57 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658 9 4 0 56 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) NIGHTCRAWLER 6237 6 3 1 55 X-MEN II (660) TEN IS RAQUET 5815 5 10 0 55 ROYAL FLUSH (48) ICHORID 5584 10 9 1 54 SALEM'S LOT (605) -SAMURAI 6089 9 3 0 52 RONIN (651) -ANKH 6085 5 3 0 49 RONIN (651) THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133 7 1 0 48 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) -SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671 8 4 1 47 OLD HABITS (566) GREEDY 5223 7 3 0 47 RAT SALAD (577) -JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534 6 6 0 47 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) MADAME BUTTERFLY 5792 5 3 0 47 THE OPERA (613) -CHONG 5927 4 2 0 47 SMOKED OUT!!! (637) MEDEE 5642 11 3 0 46 THE OPERA (613) -BLACKENED 5531 7 7 0 46 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) SIEGE BEST 5797 9 7 1 45 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) SWAMP STORM 5893 7 2 0 43 BLACK STORM (171) CRYSTAL 5895 4 1 0 43 DARK PINNACLE (598) -BLACK LOTUS 6091 8 8 0 42 RONIN (651) BABY 5224 7 4 0 41 RAT SALAD (577) PYTHON 5903 6 4 1 41 THE SERPENTS (629) -FADE TO BLACK 5695 7 6 0 40 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) -RIGORMORTIS 5736 5 3 0 40 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) -ROGER L'BEAU 5828 5 5 0 37 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) AVATAR OF WOE 5850 10 2 0 36 SALEM'S LOT (605) BULLPEN ACE 5907 5 4 1 34 ROYAL FLUSH (48) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ASP 5843 6 7 1 33 THE SERPENTS (629) MOMBA 5945 6 1 1 33 THE SERPENTS (629) WAR CRY HAMM 5436 6 2 0 33 DESOLATE ONES (524) KING OF BEASTS 5880 5 3 0 33 LAND OF OZ (217) -NILES 5860 3 1 0 33 SECOND BANANAS (573) -BOGBANE 5500 4 8 1 32 DARQUE FORCES (396) LURKING FEAR 1755 3 2 0 32 ABYSMAL RITES (215) -DEATH KISS 5751 7 2 1 31 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) SWAMP CALL HAMMER 5985 5 0 1 30 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) -MR NICE GUY 5931 3 3 1 30 SMOKED OUT!!! (637) -MALARIA 5837 2 1 0 30 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) -CHEECH 5930 3 3 2 28 SMOKED OUT!!! (637) STORM 6234 4 5 0 27 X-MEN II (660) -LONELY SON 5882 2 2 0 27 EMPIRE RISING (633) -MY PILLOW 5660 8 2 0 26 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) STORMSTRIKE 5916 5 4 0 26 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) -SGT STANDANKO 5929 3 3 0 26 SMOKED OUT!!! (637) MIRAGE 5912 3 1 0 26 DARK PINNACLE (598) -T.H.C. 5928 4 2 1 25 SMOKED OUT!!! (637) THE RON 5914 4 3 0 25 WARHAMMERS (75) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -BANE 5946 3 0 0 25 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) FLESH HUNTER 6053 2 0 0 25 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) FANG SKIN 6070 2 0 0 24 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BREMM SPARKFIST 5917 5 4 0 23 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) COBRA 5842 5 8 0 23 THE SERPENTS (629) -COURT JESTER 5883 1 1 0 22 EMPIRE RISING (633) KENSAI 5267 3 5 0 19 RAT SALAD (577) POLARIS 6230 3 1 0 19 X-MEN II (660) FIDELIO 5859 3 2 0 19 THE OPERA (613) ADDER 5920 5 3 0 18 THE SERPENTS (629) QUEEN OF TARTS 5980 1 0 0 17 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) PSYLOCKE 6228 3 6 1 16 X-MEN II (660) CLIFF 6226 1 0 0 16 CHEERS (659) SS GUARD 6018 1 1 0 15 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) CEREBRO 6229 1 2 0 15 X-MEN II (660) -SHOGUN 6082 2 2 0 14 RONIN (651) ALE 6240 1 0 0 14 STRANGE BREW (661) BEAR AWARE 6004 3 1 0 13 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) PILSNER 6241 1 0 0 13 STRANGE BREW (661) -FE MALE 5211 3 1 0 12 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) -HEIR APPARENT 5881 1 1 1 12 EMPIRE RISING (633) -BOOSTER PYRITE 5964 1 3 0 12 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) HEMDAL 6057 1 1 0 12 INFERNAL CABARET (648) FRASIER 6224 1 0 0 12 CHEERS (659) MISS GULCH 5984 2 3 0 11 LAND OF OZ (217) MALT 6238 1 0 1 11 STRANGE BREW (661) IRWIN ROMMEL 6200 1 0 0 11 TIMELY HEROES (656) GREEN KNIGHT 6069 0 1 0 11 WARHAMMERS (75) BRENDA KILRAVEN 6212 1 0 0 10 GAELIC STORM (647) HOTTZ 6078 1 1 0 10 WOMEN OF WAR (650) BLADE 6168 1 0 0 10 IRON LEGION (652) HOPS 6242 1 0 0 10 STRANGE BREW (661) SIR KILLALOT 6020 2 2 0 9 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584) -GALIUS 5865 1 6 0 9 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) CRESCENT 6167 1 0 0 9 IRON LEGION (652) -SMOKESCREEN 5944 2 2 0 8 DARQUE FORCES (396) LADY PERI 5599 2 2 0 8 DESOLATE ONES (524) GROO 6182 1 0 0 8 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) NAPOLEON BONAPARTE 6201 1 0 0 8 TIMELY HEROES (656) NORM 6227 1 0 0 8 CHEERS (659) VYXXEN 6075 1 1 1 7 WOMEN OF WAR (650) -ARSENIC 5836 1 4 0 7 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) STORMBORNE 6002 1 4 0 7 BLACK STORM (171) HAMMER 6170 0 1 0 7 IRON LEGION (652) LADY FIRST 5600 1 3 0 6 DESOLATE ONES (524) BADGER 6184 1 0 0 6 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) -CHOLORA 5866 1 0 0 6 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) DAVID 6199 1 0 0 6 TIMELY HEROES (656) QUANTUM 6183 1 0 0 6 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) CARLA 6225 1 0 0 6 CHEERS (659) -LORD DESOLATE 5884 0 2 0 6 EMPIRE RISING (633) WOODY 6185 1 0 0 5 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) SCIMITAR 6169 0 1 0 5 IRON LEGION (652) VANESSA 6077 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650) RASP BEARY 6177 1 1 0 4 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) ALANARIA 6076 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650) CATHA 6059 1 1 0 4 INFERNAL CABARET (648) FOXXY 6074 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650) ROIS ANIN 6068 0 1 0 3 WARHAMMERS (75) OBLIVIATOR 6067 0 2 0 2 BLACK STORM (171) BELERUS 6061 0 2 0 2 INFERNAL CABARET (648) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME NIVIENE 6060 0 2 0 2 INFERNAL CABARET (648) DESCENT TO DUNWICH 6209 0 1 0 1 ABYSMAL RITES (215) -ARMANIA 6013 0 1 0 1 MOOSE'S MINNIONS (646) WRETCH 5885 0 1 0 1 EMPIRE RISING (633) -DELVIAN 6014 0 1 0 1 MOOSE'S MINNIONS (646) HAVIK 6066 0 1 0 1 DRANG'S TEAM (649) SLAP MISTRESS 6179 0 1 0 1 DESOLATE ONES (524) -MICHELE CLOUGH 5989 0 1 0 1 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) -MORIAN 6015 0 1 0 1 MOOSE'S MINNIONS (646) GEORGE WASHINGTON 6197 0 1 0 1 TIMELY HEROES (656) WOODY 6223 0 1 0 1 CHEERS (659) JOAN OF ARC 6198 0 1 0 1 TIMELY HEROES (656) -ANTOINE L'JOI 5988 0 1 0 1 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) DRANG 6065 0 1 0 1 DRANG'S TEAM (649) HIGH TEST 6239 0 1 0 1 STRANGE BREW (661) BERA 6215 0 1 0 1 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? WL3 6207 0 1 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 GUILLOTINE GARTH 20 244 NONE WL4 6208 0 1 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 THE BARTENDER 26 244 NONE AQUILLA 1756 3 2 1 ABYSMAL RITES 215 PYTHON 5903 244 RED MIRA 1753 1 2 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659 242 THRESHER OF SOUL 6071 0 1 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 VYXXEN 6075 243 SWAMP MESS HAMME 5947 1 6 0 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ 594 GUILLOTINE GARTH 20 244 NONE SWAMP THUG HAMME 5948 1 6 0 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ 594 THE BARTENDER 26 244 NONE BEAR SKINRUG 5399 12 10 1 THE BEAR'S PAW 150 ROISIN DUBH 6038 243 DUMB AS ROCK 5913 2 2 0 DARK PINNACLE 598 ARENAMASTER OKEL 23 244 NONE SIDESWIPE 5958 1 1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396 T.H.C. 5928 240 NOT REVE BEIGE SURFER 6021 2 2 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463 ASP 5843 244 EVEL NEWT 6062 0 1 0 DRANG'S TEAM 649 MALT 6238 244 WILD ROVER 6025 2 7 0 GAELIC STORM 647 WURM KIN 27 244 NONE BLACK AND TAN 6211 0 1 0 GAELIC STORM 647 BAPHOMET 22 244 NONE IRISH CAR BOMB 6024 8 3 0 GAELIC STORM 647 DON KING 5374 243 KARGOTH 6058 0 1 0 INFERNAL CABARET 648 SWAMP CALL HAMME 5985 243 RAG 6194 0 1 0 IRON LEGION 652 WURM KIN 27 244 NONE SPLAT 6217 0 1 0 LOST SOULS 618 MR. COFFEE 24 244 NONE JOCKO 6216 0 1 0 LOST SOULS 618 THE BARTENDER 26 244 NONE MY MISO MUTE 4018 8 6 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 BAPHOMET 22 244 NONE DRAGONFLY PIE 5760 5 4 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 MURDEROUS MARK 18 244 NONE BONE 6181 0 1 0 OBSCURE LEGENDS 654 BAPHOMET 22 244 NONE DA 6187 0 1 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 603 PUTRID PATRICK 19 244 NONE FAT-BOY 5221 6 4 0 RAT SALAD 577 THE BARTENDER 26 244 NONE T. RASH 6210 0 1 0 RAT SALAD 577 GUILLOTINE GARTH 20 244 NONE SHADE'S FORM 5549 9 11 2 SALEM'S LOT 605 CARDIAC CRAIG 21 244 NONE LOWELL 5569 13 6 2 SECOND BANANAS 573 SWAMP LILY HAMME 5441 241 NONE BIBS 6196 0 1 0 THINGS I DROOL IN 614 DARRELL DEATH 25 244 NONE PERSONAL ADS Swamp Lily Hammer! The best in the swamp! Lord Protector! We salute you and The Hammer. -- Oz The All-Envious Nuln -- Hey! Good to see that The FONZ has at least one good writer and good competitor in North Fork! (zing) -- Oz The All-Mischievous Sunuv Bloodlust -- Can we just call you SOB, whoops, SUB? Or Snuln? -- Oz The All- Welcoming "Return Of The SCOMSS" is announcing its roster for TW5: Slugbait -- Mystic Orc Feast Crip -- Royal Flush Oz -- Land Of Oz Mannequin -- Second Bananas Soultaker (Father) -- Old Habits Sunuv Bloodlust -- Things I Drool In The silly SCOMSSers have designated me "captain". (I drew the short straw.) -- Oz The All-Overwhelmed Sunuv Bloodlust -- Well you are right. The pleasure will be all yours. -- Oz The All-Humorous Tripwire -- Welcome to you and The Iron Council. A formidable group. -- Oz The All- Welcoming Devout Christian -- Bah to you. Hah to me. -- Humbug Swamp Burp -- Now I want some Lily. -- BOQ Succulant -- A salute to you on your win. My magic was inadequate. -- Magic Wand Beige Surfer -- Next time bring me a colorful one. I like bods, and I like my pretties.... -- Miss Gulch Oz -- Personally, I think Crip was appropriately chagrined by his poor performance during the last Annual Review that he decided to actually *run* his teams. ;-P -- Drake (trying to run his own; more or less) P.S. Look! Look! I'm writing personal ads again! Abraxis -- Hey, I remember you. Welcome back. -- Drake of the duplicitous arrogance and abundant vernacular CFH -- I believe time was on vacation in the Bahamas while tide did it's best to cover. -- Drake (needing a vacation of his own) P.S. I've been corresponding with a new D2 player over in 93 (doing my best to masquerade as a mentor or something) and he was wondering about Hyborian War. Do you mind if I tell him to diplo you with questions? Crypt Keeper -- You should be receiving a diplomatic note from me regarding the Parry Strike style this turn. Let me know if it doesn't get to you. -- Drake Python -- Bulk no like snakes. Snakes remind Bulk of skinny neckties. Skinny neckties make Bulk angry! -- The Rampaging Bulk Miss Gulch -- Hey! What did I ever do to you? -- Beige Surfer Oz -- You...you...you *down-challenged* one of my warriors?! You?! Do you know what this means?! I...I have you put you on the list. *You*...on *the* list! *My* list! I...I...I don't want to, but now I have to. How could you make me do such a thing? How?! -- Drake P.S. I'm also revoking your 25% discount on the 25 cent bin. So there! Stormstrike -- It's a good thing I brought my galoshes. -- Da Ting P.S. IT'S PUDDLE SPLASHIN' TIME! Aquilla -- I suppose you thought because of my record, I'd be an easy win. Surprise! I enjoyed the fight. -- Roger L'Beau Cobra -- I thought we were gonna make the crowd scream and both of us would get acclamations from the crowd. Too bad you were such a dud. But...thanks for the five skills. -- Bane Oz -- It's actually my pleasure. I enjoy this kind of thing. -- Baphomet Abraxis -- Happy to see you back active again. The Illuminati will probably be posting a team here. If not...TCB will. I'll write you and tell you everything that's been going on. It's a mess! -- Baphomet CFH -- Actually, I am EXTREMELY pleased that you've returned. Again, you are welcome to join me and TCB. The call is yours. -- Baphomet Hammer -- email me at: rbaphomets@yahoo.com. Diplo enroute. Announcement! Sunuv Bloodlust was terminated! Gone. Rejected. Rode the hot-air balloon to that Great Arena In The Sky! Zippo! But The Drooling Team has acquired a Monster Manager by the name of SNULN. Yes! The "Return Of The SCOMSS" remains with the same teams previously listed, but with a higher level series of managers-- Slugbait, Crip, Oz, Mannequin, Soultaker, Snuln. The Fellowship is in tact. -- Oz The All-Announcing (Note: this list of manager names supersedes the one previously listed.) All -- To get announcements started, the Swamp Syndicate will be participating in the Turf War 5. I will step in as Captain. My team, naturally will be Knights Templar. Hammer, JGWellington (JGW), Assurnasirbanipal will also be joining us. Abraxis and CFH may join if they so choose. And Manager, if I can talk him into it. -- Baphomet, mgr. Knights Templar Baphomet -- The Second Bananas stable will once again compete as a member of the SCOMSS alliance. -- Mannequin, mgr. of Second Bananas Congratulations to Flesh Hunter and Jugglenought for their impressive performances in the tourney. Well done! -- Mannequin Oz The Observant -- Watch Out with the golden tongue, or someone will have to put it in its place!!!! -- Crip the not quite so silent anymore Sunuv Bloodlust -- SCOMS? We were SCOMSS initially, but one has fallen. Is there a big 'S' emblazoned on the middle of your chest? Baphomet -- I have to see who this returning 'S' is, so as per tradition, I declare the Flush for Return of the SCOMSS. -- Crip Irish Car Bomb -- Well, that TV challenge certainly blew up in your face. -- Don King Pizza Pie Party -- What a way to say Hi! But I prefer Ice Cream! -- Ten Is Raquet Tempus -- You again! Who do we have to pay off? -- Jack & Jill Ichorid -- Walk softly, but carry an even bigger stick. -- Drama Queen Rhiannon -- We've heard that the Gaelic tended to be stumbling drunks, but that was the first proof I've had. -- Bullpen Ace All -- I hereby declare that my stable Ronin shall be entering into the Turf War, fighting under the Iron Council banner. -- Hollowshade, mgr. of Ronin HERE WE COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! That's right!! That's what we do. We are... <DON DON DONN!!> THE TIMELY HEROES!! <If you did not say that in a big booming voice, please go back and do it again.> < We'll wait.> <Hold it, did you actually go back and do it?> <YOU DID?!> <THANKS!!> We come from all walks of life and have one goal, to do hero stuff!! Like...like...like walking the dog...and closing the curtains...and cleaning the counter...and...and...well.... Hero-stuff. You know? Ah what's the use.... I forgot the last part, but it really wasn't much better. His writer isn't worth a *(#$!! OOPS sorry! Okay, so we are actually actors who needed to make a little money between gigs, so don't go too hard on us okay?? Our boss told us to act like heroes to scare you a little, but his writer...his writer needs to go to a very hot place....) Oh well. Anyway, I'm David and that is Irwin and Napoleon over there (don't mention Napoleon's size, he gets a bit sensitive about that,) and over there is George, he's eating the apple, and Joan is the one trying to put that puzzle box back together. Oh and here comes the boss now. Hi, Master Beru!! You didn't use the script did you? No sir! See! Yeah I see. This may be more than I bargained for. Okay, I am Master Beru and I am supposed to offer these..."actors"...a chance to fight to feed themselves until they can get back on their feet. Hopefully their fighting is better than their acting. All -- Manager will be joining the Swamp Syndicate for the TW5. -- Baphomet Swamp Citizens and Turf War Tuffies -- Be it known one and all that the stable known as ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) will compete with my TW5 alliance mates in the Swamp Syndicate alliance! -- Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) Swamp Syndicate alliance Hammer Minister of War Swamp Syndicate Scribe Host of TW5 -- For all intents and purposes I suppose I have been elected "Captain" of this alliance of peers known as the Desolate Empire for the duration of this Turf War. Those that may declare for our alliance (though should not be listed as such until they actually declare for themselves) are as follows: Toker, Goat, Wasby, Heathen, Dok Sik and Blackstorm. I have only one question at the moment: you stated that the TW5 will begin following the January FTF and I wanted to know if the FTF will count for the bonus points as they will be printed after the contest begin? Just needed a clarification. -- Kon, mgr. Empire Rising, Desolate Empire P.S. My champion will be Court Jester. Swamp Lily -- Congrats on your invite, know Hammer must be doing backflips. -- Liam the Goth, mgr. Gothic Ministry Manny -- Turn 10 of the Initiates tourney was kick assed, congrats on Prodigal Son and your TC in the Rookies. -- Liam Asp -- Good dance, keep it up. -- Death Kiss The Saint -- May I have a manager list for DM 47? Thank you. -- Liam Here's what I have. These are teams listed in last turn's newsletter. If I've gotten anyone's name wrong, just let me know and I'll fix it. -- The Saint, keeper of lists ABYSMAL RITES Reaper LOST SOULS The Sentinel ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ Hammer MOOSE'S MINNIONS ? ARCANE ANGELS Mr Tarl Possinger MYSTIC ORC FEAST Slugbait BAAL'S MINIONS Var NATURAL B. KILLERS Maximillian BLACK STORM Blackstorm OF WOLF AND MAN Tripwire CHAOTIX BEASTS Chaotix OLD HABITS Soultaker DARQUE FORCES Master Darque RAT SALAD CFH DOK SIK KILLAS Doc Sik RONIN Hollowshade DRAKE'S COMICS Drake ROYAL FLUSH Crip EMPIRE RISING Kon SALEM'S LOT Crypt Keeper FEATHERS FLYIN' Barnabas SECOND BANANAS Mannequin GAELIC STORM Bobby Bigfoot SMOKED OUT!!! Dark Knight Toker GOTHIC MINISTRY Liam the Goth THE BEAR'S PAW KAT INDIFFERENCE Jekyll THE SERPENTS ? INFERNAL CABARET ? THINGS I DROOL IN Snuln JGW PERISHABLE JGW WARHAMMERS Coyote KNIGHTS TEMPLAR Baphomet WINTER CHILL Valamond LADIES OF DREAD Silky WOMEN OF WAR ? LAND OF OZ Oz the Successful Kensai -- This is your last chance, win or you will only be mentioned in the past tense. -- CFH Rat Salad -- Your teammate Fastdraw was found to be taking bribes from the competition, hence his poor record. Losing will not be tolerated. -- CFH Crypt Angel -- Normally I would be bummed about losing to your style, but the 4 learns and rating salve the sting a bit. Let's fight again, except this time we'll wear our bikinis and instead of the sand we'll fight in a kiddie pool of Jello or arm oil! -- Baby P.S. You're not very tall for a "Giant". Bremm Sparkfist -- Could've gone either way, I suppose. Gotta be willing to throw the first punch. -- Greedy Fat-Boy -- Block with your shield, not your face. -- CFH P.S. On second thought, it's the DA for you too. I need warriors, not heavy bags. You served your purpose. I want to say thanks to all the people who inquired about me and/or tried to keep in touch. A few of you asked me to return to the game and I declined for a couple of different reasons, but now I'm back. I look forward to good times once again. -- CFH/Rat Salad Baphomet -- Word in the Taverns is that you are looking for a leg-breaker. Any truth to that? -- CFH/Thug 4 Hire Ten Is Racquet -- Perhaps you need to upgrade to a model in graphite? -- Pizza Pie Party Black Thunder -- Well I'll be darned. Persistence does pay off. -- My Sleep Adder -- I'm not proud of that win, but I'll take it nonetheless. -- Bob's Comic Collection All -- My apologieseth for the prematureth announcement last turn by Sunuv Bloodlustest. As is sometimes the nature with prematurity, it was alsoeth an incorrect announcement. I, Snuln, shall be managing the "Things I Drool In" stableth und'reth the SCOMSS team banner this upcoming Turfeth War. So let the record stateth. -- Snuln Crypt Keeper -- I am no PS experteth, and I don't knoweth the PS you speaketh of stats/skills, but in generaleth I wouldst say an off-handeth parry weapon (particularlyeth if they learneth parry) would be a good thingeth. I prefereth the DA, but there are manyeth to choose from (SH, SM, ME, etc.). As for armoreth, assuming your PSeth has an 11/11 str/cn, I'd say anythingeth up ASM/F. Iffeth his carrying capacity is lesseth, I wouldn't loadeth very much armor on him theneth. Good lucketh! -- Snuln I declare for SCOMSS. -- Slugbait Baby -- A good fight, honey cakes. You're fast, I'll give you that! -- Crypt Angel Fat-Boy -- If you adhered to the zombie diet you wouldn't have a problem. -- Zombie Assassin Standanko -- Hey, you're pretty mean with that thing. -- Avatar of Woe Oz -- Thanks for the welcome. But why all the different names? I thought this Arena was called North Fork? -- Crypt Keeper Nuln -- Hey thanks, bro. No need to keep an eye on the Lot though, I have a lot of growing pains to go through as a manager! You looks to have a most excellent team. - - Keeper D.K. Toker -- Answered your reply in the Arena 52 Fratsfa personal ads, man. Are you in every arena, lol? -- Keeper Swamp Citizens -- As of November 26th the dispatch riders from the Gladiatorial Commission have yet to deliver the newsletter containing the graduation info for SWAMP LILY HAMMER. Perhaps next cycle will provide the answers you seek? -- Hammer/ Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe Miss Gulch -- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! -- SWAMP THUG HAMMER Swamp Citizens -- Ah the Champion [BURP!] recognition rankings! Many wagered [BURP!] gold that I would not see this [BURP!] day! Bring your [BURP!] gold to [BURP!] wager whether I [BURP!] make it out of the [BURP!] swamp alive! -- SWAMP BURP HAMMER Oz the All-Announcing -- Your Welcome Wagon banter is a refreshing change from the usual commentary that foreshadows such contests! You and your compadres are still the stable to subdue during this great event! -- Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe Tripwire -- Welcome back to the greatest in swamp warfare! The Iron Council are certain to make their mark in the mud! -- Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe Baphomet the Blade -- Greetings and Salutations to the Swamp Syndicate Captain! Honor and Glory for your dedication to oversee the Turf War 5 contest! -- Hammer/ Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe Swamp Citizens and Turf War Tuffies -- Sharpen Your Blades and Sharpen Your Wits! Turf War 5 is about to begin! -- Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe TURF WAR ALLIANCE DECLARATION!!! HEAR YE!! HEAR YE!! Be it known that per the rules of engagement for the upcoming Turf War, Master Beru of Timely Heroes (TBD), Wretch of Strange Brew (TBD), and Reaper of Abysmal Rites (215) have come together as the Rookie Confederation as a contender. The alliance names Master Beru of Timely Heroes (TBD) as their captain. The Confederation also proclaims that any manager wishing a banner to compete under may contact any member of the alliance to secure their participation. May the Confederations' blades find every chink in the "veteran" manager's armor to stain the arenas red with their warrior's blood!! -- Master Beru 3D -- Are we ready yet? -- Maximillian THC -- Ahhh! Offensive type, bad assumption on my part, not again. -- Sir Killalot Eviscerator -- Ya' got spanked, boy. I hit hard for a little guy. -- Little Big Man Humbug -- Booooo! -- Devout Christian Soltan Heller -- You're lucky son, if I hadn't had to use my fist for the whole battle, things would have been different. -- SS Guard Swamp Lilly -- Good job on the Title Fight and the invite! Represent us well at the Island. Congrats to the Hammer Crew! -- the Praising Persian: Kat Roisin Dubh -- Not very sporting, Dear Sir. You take this all far too seriously-- especially one of your type. I knew the frailty would be his undoing. Alas, the Rug will be avenged. -- The Remorseful Rex -- Kat SCOMMS -- You've my best regards for the upcoming TW battle. Though the Vendetta Cartel has been relegated into history, the DJI clan will be associating with some chosen friends to engage in the Turf War V. I'll announce details next turn -- The Optimistic Ocelot: Kat Chong -- That stuff will stunt your growth. Look at what its already done to your reaction speed. -- The Feline of Funtime: Kat Hottz -- Eh, more on the 'tepid-to-luke-warm' side, but you've the right aspirations! -- The Manic Manx of Mayhem: Kat All -- Well, well, well...and I thought my warriors stunk. What do you people do around here to make this foul smell? Well I guess it doesn't matter. Any place this rank will be a perfect home for my band of slovenly idiots. I have the distinct displeasure of managing this menagerie of drunken fools. Strange Brew is a perfect name for them, as I don't know what the fetid substance they call their "brew" is. Whatever it is, it seems to do very strange things to the people that drink it. I would suggest that you don't accept anything they try to give you, which shouldn't be much of a problem as they don't like to share. Well I guess we are stuck together for a while. Well...at least until my guys all manage to drown in their glasses. Cheers to all. -- Wretch 2 November 2006 I received a Gift Certificate from someone. I'm assuming it's for entry into the Turf War 5. Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com. Thanks. 10 November 2006 The Quest of the Best has come to an end. Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest, wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners. Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the Quest. Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in the dust. Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink) Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions: 1) Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls 2) Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts! 3) Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts 4) D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen 5) Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation 6) Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders 7) D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights 8) D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights 9) The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion 10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their butt handed to them. Respect to All. Quest #1 host, Dark Knight Toker 14 November 2006 A Tale of Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution as told by Hammer the WordSmith SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the lingering wisps of memory from days gone by. From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation. Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence experience. The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times. Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities presently past and future. Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93. The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy. Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and gallantry before. Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike. History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes. Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and olden legends of times lost. [TIME JUMP] Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy, yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena! "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch Light!" Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81. Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind. From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty! Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn. Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand. Future events would lend themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for processing. Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM 28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!] Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena. After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then another group of hopefuls. After lengthy debate a third was cast aside. Deciding between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial Commission. The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney- worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager. [TIME JUMP] Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and now it was time to begin their training. The paperwork had been dispatched for registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which preparation was paramount! Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney Arena. Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red! Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No- Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly Expected!] Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his mind! When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night. These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had they fallen into the possession of most other managers! Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney Arena!] Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!] Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace! [TIME JUMP] Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting! Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81 [recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon graduation!] The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS stable managed by Sweety Pie. Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena! Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission. Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus] had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE. Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No- Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission. Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari! Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION. Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm. Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf. Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with GRIFFONRAWL MMA. Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!] Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!] Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in thought!] Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena. COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as to their intentions. Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was anybody's guess at the present time!] Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None! HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by! JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!] "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper" Hammer Minister of War LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS MY MISO MUTE was butchered by BAPHOMET in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight. SHADE'S FORM was savagely slain by CARDIAC CRAIG in a 2 minute Dark Arena melee. FAT-BOY was slaughtered by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl. DRAGONFLY PIE was narrowly killed by MURDEROUS MARK in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight. WILD ROVER was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. SWAMP MESS HAMMER was slaughtered by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. SWAMP THUG HAMMER was viciously butchered by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute match. DUMB AS ROCK was easily killed by ARENAMASTER OKEL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. WL3 was easily killed by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee. SPLAT was slaughtered by MR. COFFEE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel. JOCKO was savagely slain by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel. BLACK AND TAN was assassinated by BAPHOMET in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight. BONE was put to death by BAPHOMET in a 1 minute Dark Arena bout. DA was assassinated by PUTRID PATRICK in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena match. RAG was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena conflict. WL4 was murdered by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match. BIBS was executed by DARRELL DEATH in a 1 minute Dark Arena conflict. T. RASH was easily killed by GUILLOTINE GARTH in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. ROISIN DUBH was viciously subdued by DON KING in a 1 minute master's Bloodfeud bout. BELERUS was overpowered by SWAMP CALL HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl. RED DEVIL devastated SUCULANT in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. RAZOR overpowered TEMPUS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout. PIZZA PIE PARTY overpowered BLACK THUNDER in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge conflict. BEXAR bested MY SLEEP in a 1 minute Challenge bout. DEVOUT CHRISTIAN was luckily beaten by MAGIC WAND in a 2 minute Challenge duel. BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN viciously subdued SIEGE BEST in a 4 minute Challenge duel. THE RAMPAGING BULK outwaited BABY in a exciting 7 minute gory Challenge bout. RHIANNON defeated GREEDY in a 1 minute Challenge duel. AQUILLA was savagely slain by PYTHON in a action packed 2 minute gory Challenge fight. FOXXY was savagely defeated by SS GUARD in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge match. RASP BEARY was overcome by HOTTZ in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge bout. CATHA was overpowered by FLESH HUNTER in a 4 minute uneven Challenge competition. BEIGE SURFER was executed by ASP in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. BEAR AWARE slimly won victory over STORMBORNE in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fray. SWAMP LILY HAMMER was luckily beaten by BOQ in a 6 minute veteran's Title match. HUMBUG savagely defeated SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a exciting 2 minute expert's bout. MORWHEN slimly lost to FRED BEAR in a 2 minute master's fight. JACK & JILL luckily beat LITTLE BIG MAN in a exciting 6 minute master's match. CUP OF TOE was defeated by KHALHUMS DWARF in a 2 minute bloody veteran's match. DRAMA QUEEN was savagely defeated by WYRD in a popular 6 minute veteran's duel. OPAI overpowered CRYPT ANGEL in a 1 minute one-sided competition. WOZZECK handily defeated NIGHTCRAWLER in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel. EVICSERATOR savagely defeated TEN IS RAQUET in a 5 minute expert's duel. ICHORID was unbelievably bested by PRINCE IGOR in a crowd pleasing 2 minute gory duel. MEDEE bested LURKING FEAR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute match. ZOMBIE ASSASSIN handily defeated KING OF BEASTS in a 1 minute one-sided conflict. BULLPEN ACE was luckily beaten by SWAMP STORM in a 2 minute brutal fight. STORMSTRIKE was overpowered by MADAME BUTTERFLY in a 1 minute one-sided duel. ADDER was narrowly defeated by STORM in a tiring 7 minute fray. MOMBA handily defeated PSYLOCKE in a 1 minute one-sided duel. WAR CRY HAMM luckily beat COBRA in a tiresome 12 minute brutal conflict. CRYSTAL demolished FIDELIO in a crowd pleasing 4 minute bloody one-sided fight. AVATAR OF WOE overcame BREMM SPARKFIST in a 2 minute match. MISS GULCH was bested by THE RON in a exciting 2 minute battle. KENSAI viciously subdued LADY PERI in a crowd pleasing 2 minute brutal fight. MIRAGE subdued CEREBRO in a 2 minute contest. OBLIVIATOR was devastated by IRWIN ROMMEL in a 1 minute one-sided bout. FANG SKIN vanquished HAMMER in a popular 1 minute one-sided struggle. POLARIS devastated VANESSA in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict. VYXXEN was beaten by FRASIER in a exciting 3 minute bloody beginner's fight. ALANARIA was demolished by CLIFF in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory one-sided conflict. LADY FIRST was beaten by NORM in a 1 minute novice's brawl. NIVIENE lost to CARLA in a 2 minute novice's duel. HEMDAL overpowered GEORGE WASHINGTON in a 1 minute one-sided fight. SIR KILLALOT won victory over ROIS ANIN in a exciting 1 minute novice's duel. QUEEN OF TARTS outlasted BERA in a slow 12 minute duel. SCIMITAR was savagely defeated by DAVID in a 1 minute gruesome novice's contest. BLADE devastated JOAN OF ARC in a 1 minute one-sided bout. CRESCENT subdued DESCENT TO DUNWICH in a 2 minute novice's bout. GREEN KNIGHT was luckily beaten by WOODY in a 2 minute bloody fight. NAPOLEON BONAPARTE won victory over HAVIK in a 2 minute novice's struggle. BADGER subdued SLAP MISTRESS in a exciting 1 minute amateur's duel. BRENDA KILRAVEN overpowered DRANG in a 1 minute uneven fight. QUANTUM overcame WRETCH in a action packed 1 minute amateur's match. GROO savagely defeated HIGH TEST in a popular 2 minute bloody novice's duel. WOODY was demolished by HOPS in a 1 minute mismatched fray. EVEL NEWT was slaughtered by MALT in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match. ALE overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. PILSNER demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute uneven fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 24 AIMED BLOW 42 - 22 - 3 66 | |TOTAL PARRY 23 WALL OF STEEL 59 - 34 - 4 63 | |BASHING ATTACK 20 TOTAL PARRY 98 - 76 - 4 56 | |STRIKING ATTACK 18 PARRY-LUNGE 21 - 19 - 2 53 | |WALL OF STEEL 10 STRIKING ATTACK 93 - 91 - 12 51 | |AIMED BLOW 10 PARRY-STRIKE 29 - 38 - 0 43 | |PARRY-STRIKE 10 LUNGING ATTACK 72 - 108 - 9 40 | |PARRY-LUNGE 9 SLASHING ATTACK 37 - 57 - 1 39 | |SLASHING ATTACK 7 BASHING ATTACK 46 - 99 - 4 32 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 13 - 0 32 | Turn 244 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 6 - 4 PARRY-LUNGE 3 - 6 4 LUNGING ATTACK LUNGING ATTACK 14 - 10 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 4 2 TOTAL PARRY STRIKING ATTACK 10 - 8 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 15 2 STRIKING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 12 - 11 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 8 2 AIMED BLOW AIMED BLOW 5 - 5 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 6 1 WALL OF STEEL TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME TOTAL PARRY BOQ 5873 12 0 0 106 LAND OF OZ (217) STRIKING ATTACK DON KING 5374 13 12 1 123 ROYAL FLUSH (48) AIMED BLOW RED DEVIL 5732 8 4 0 113 LOST SOULS (618) LUNGING ATTACK HUMBUG 5199 21 16 1 98 LAND OF OZ (217) BASHING ATTACK WYRD 5167 12 6 0 88 DESOLATE ONES (524) WALL OF STEEL MAGIC WAND 5771 11 5 0 75 LAND OF OZ (217) PARRY-LUNGE RHIANNON 6031 10 9 0 61 GAELIC STORM (647) PARRY-STRIKE CRYSTAL 5895 4 1 0 43 DARK PINNACLE (598) FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is HUMBUG 5199. The most popular warrior this turn was LITTLE BIG MAN 5393. The ten other most popular fighters were WYRD 5167, BABY 5224, TEN IS RAQUET 5815, VYXXEN 6075, ICHORID 5584, SHADE'S FORM 5549, KENSAI 5267, GROO 6182, LURKING FEAR 1755, and NAPOLEON BONAPARTE 6201. The least popular fighter this week was BERA 6215. The other ten least popular fighters were QUEEN OF TARTS 5980, WAR CRY HAMM 5436, ADDER 5920, COBRA 5842, THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133, FAT-BOY 5221, EVEL NEWT 6062, WOODY 6223, HIGH TEST 6239, and DRANG 6065. The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: FRED BEAR (47-5348) THE BEAR'S PAW (150) The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: SWAMP LILY HAMMER (47-5441) ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)