DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 01/23/2007 Duedate: 02/19/2007
DOUBLE-X ARENA
DM-47 TURN-246
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
SISTER MARY SARAH
OLD HABITS (566)
(47-5137) [22-3-0,128]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
SISTER MARY SARAH LURKING FEAR
OLD HABITS (566) ABYSMAL RITES (215)
(47-5137) [22-3-0,128] (47-1755) [5-2-0,53]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
HUMBUG OPAI
LAND OF OZ (217) DARK PINNACLE (598)
(47-5199) [22-16-1,111] (47-5735) [11-3-0,96]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
CHEERS (659)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. JGW PERISHABLE (653) 69
2. OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 45 OLD HABITS (566)
3. BLACK STORM (171) 44 Unchartered Team
4. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 43
5. THINGS I DROOL IN (614) 43 THE LAST RESORT (663)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 0*THE LAST RESORT (663) 4 1 0 80.0 1/ 1*CHEERS (659) 10 5 1
2/ 2*DREADBLADE (664) 7 3 1 70.0 2/ 2 THE OPERA (613) 10 5 0
3/ 4*DOOMWOLVES (662) 7 3 0 70.0 3/16*TIMELY HEROES (656) 9 6 0
4/ 1*CHEERS (659) 10 5 1 66.7 4/ 4 LAND OF OZ (217) 8 5 0
5/ 6 OLD HABITS (566) 68 37 6 64.8 5/25 BLACK STORM (171) 8 6 0
6/ 7 THE OPERA (613) 46 29 2 61.3 6/19*DREADBLADE (664) 7 3 1
7- 8 LOST SOULS (618) 45 29 7 60.8 7/20*DOOMWOLVES (662) 7 3 0
8/ 9 LAND OF OZ (217) 501 323 14 60.8 8/10 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 7 5 1
9/10 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 292 189 24 60.7 9/ 9 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) 7 5 0
10/11 THINGS I DROOL IN (614) 42 28 4 60.0 10/11 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 7 7 0
11/25*TIMELY HEROES (656) 9 6 0 60.0 11/15*STRANGE BREW (661) 7 8 1
12/ 3*HEART BREAKERS (658) 6 4 2 60.0 12/ 3*OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) 7 8 0
13/ 0*BORN TO MACK (639) 3 2 0 60.0 13/ 5 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 7 8 0
14/44*JGW PERISHABLE (653) 4 3 0 57.1 14/ 8 X-MEN II (660) 7 8 0
15/12 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 45 34 3 57.0 15/21 THE SERPENTS (629) 6 4 2
16/13 SECOND BANANAS (573) 92 70 11 56.8 16/18*HEART BREAKERS (658) 6 4 2
17/15 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) 147 117 5 55.7 17/ 6 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) 6 9 0
18/16 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 636 516 33 55.2 18/35 DARQUE FORCES (396) 5 1 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19/17 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594) 69 57 7 54.8 19/33 SECOND BANANAS (573) 5 4 1
20/19 SALEM'S LOT (605) 52 47 5 52.5 20-12 GAELIC STORM (647) 5 4 0
21/18 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 361 328 33 52.4 21/ 7 SALEM'S LOT (605) 5 5 0
22/20 NATURAL B. KILLERS (584) 75 72 6 51.0 22/17 THE BEAR'S PAW (150) 5 10 0
23/21 DARQUE FORCES (396) 118 114 9 50.9 23/24 RAT SALAD (577) 5 10 0
24/ 0 PALINDROMES (599) 32 32 4 50.0 24/26*ABYSMAL RITES (215) 5 10 0
25-24*WOMEN OF WAR (650) 5 5 1 50.0 25/42*JGW PERISHABLE (653) 4 1 0
26/22 DARK PINNACLE (598) 55 56 5 49.5 26/ 0*THE LAST RESORT (663) 4 1 0
27/32 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 30 33 0 47.6 27/40 OF WOLF AND MAN (603) 4 3 0
28/38*EMPIRE RISING (633) 7 8 3 46.7 28/27 DARK PINNACLE (598) 4 3 0
29/23*STRANGE BREW (661) 7 8 1 46.7 29/13 DRAKE'S COMICS (463) 4 5 1
30/ 5*OBSCURE LEGENDS (654) 7 8 0 46.7 30-22 DESOLATE ONES (524) 4 6 0
31/29 BLACK STORM (171) 111 127 9 46.6 31/37 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416) 4 6 0
32/ 0*FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665) 17 20 0 45.9 32/23 WARHAMMERS (75) 4 11 1
33/27 RAT SALAD (577) 28 33 0 45.9 33/43*EMPIRE RISING (633) 3 2 2
34/34 THE SERPENTS (629) 32 38 3 45.7 34/ 0*BORN TO MACK (639) 3 2 0
35/31 BAAL'S MINIONS (626) 39 48 1 44.8 35/31 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592) 3 4 0
36-33 DESOLATE ONES (524) 80 99 12 44.7 36/41 OLD HABITS (566) 3 4 0
37/30 INDIFFERENCE (611) 77 96 5 44.5 37- 0*FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665) 3 7 0
38/35 WARHAMMERS (75) 236 299 14 44.1 38/29*INFERNAL CABARET (648) 3 11 0
39/28 X-MEN II (660) 23 30 2 43.4 39/ 0 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 2 3 0
40/ 0 DOK SIK KILLAS (595) 33 45 3 42.3 40-32 LOST SOULS (618) 2 3 0
41-36 GAELIC STORM (647) 49 69 3 41.5 41-34*IRON LEGION (652) 2 5 0
42/37 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 63 101 3 38.4 42/36 INDIFFERENCE (611) 2 6 0
43/39*ABYSMAL RITES (215) 13 23 1 36.1 43/ 0 PALINDROMES (599) 1 3 0
44-40*IRON LEGION (652) 2 5 0 28.6 44/ 0*GANKERS, INC (667) 1 4 0
45/41*INFERNAL CABARET (648) 4 15 0 21.1 45-14*WOMEN OF WAR (650) 1 4 0
46/ 0*GANKERS, INC (667) 1 4 0 20.0 46/39*B.L.A.C.K. (657) 1 9 0
47/43*B.L.A.C.K. (657) 1 9 0 10.0 47-38*DRANG'S TEAM (649) 0 7 0
48-42*DRANG'S TEAM (649) 0 7 0 0.0 48/30 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568) 0 5 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
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Okay folks, here's what I've got for updates as of 01/03/06:
V C GC
RETURN OF THE SCOMSS, Oz (Cpt)
Oz, Land of Oz y y y
Mannequin, Second Bananas, Jethro (champ) y y y
Crip, Royal Flush y y y
Snuln, Things I Drool In y y y
Slugbait, Mystic Orc Feast y y y
Soultaker, Old Habits y y y
ROOKIE CONFEDERATION, Master Beru (Cpt)
Master Beru, Timely Heroes y y y
Wretch, Strange Brew y y y
Reaper, Abysmal Rites y y y
Azrael, The Fallen y y n
Vindictus, Dreadblade y y y
3D, Kat (Cpt)
Kat, The Bear's Paw y y n
Master Darque, Darque Forces y y y
Maximillian, Natural B. Killers y y n
Polarius, (?) y n n
!llkidk y n n
Angus, Doomwolves y y y
Drake, Drakes Comics y y y
IRON COUNCIL, Tripwire (Cpt)
Tripwire, Of Wolf and Men y y y
Hollowshade, Ronin y y y
Ultraist, Wolfcats y y n
Jekyll, Indifference y y y
Hucklecat, (?) y y y
Otis the Drunk, Cheers y y y
SWAMP SYNDICATE, Baphomet (Cpt)
Baphomet, Knights Templar y y y
Hammer, All Swamp Hammers, Swamp Foxx Hammer (Champ) y y y
Managerr, (?) y y y
Assurnasirbanipal, Palindromes y y y
JGWellington, JGW Perishibles y y y
CFH, Rat Salad y y n
Abraxis, Obscure Legends y y n
DESOLATE EMPIRE, Kon (Cpt)
Kon, Empire Rising, Court Jester (Champ) y y n
Blackstorm, Black Storm, Swamp Storm (Champ) y y y
Dok Sik, Dok Sik Killas y y y
Goat, Desolate Ones y y n
Heathen, (?) y n n
Wasby, (?) y n n
Toker, Smoked Out y n n
V= Verified by Cpt C=Claimed by Manager GC=Gift Cert
Well folks, there you have it. Just remember, I ain't perfect and if I've got
something wrong...be sure to let me know (as I *KNOW* you will)!
There is something else I want to make a little clearer to some of the newer
managers, and to those who like to talk a lot of trash.
First, remember this contest is about having fun. If you're gonna talk smack,
do it with someone who isn't thin skinned...it tends to create major
misunderstandings and animosity. We want to prevent that if possible. And, do it
with someone you know.
I normally try to write a spotlight called North Fork Yellow Rag. It's a rumour
mill and I make fun of everyone in the arena at some point during the contest. Even
at myself. Please...don't take it personally. It's "entertainment." NOTHING ELSE!
Okay, that's it for this turn. Next turn, I get to kick ya'lls behinds and gain
some needed points. See ya there!
Baphomet, Host
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Playing the Roles
The sun rose higher in the sky as the audience awaited the end of the
performance on the nearby stage. Master Beru knew the signs all too well. The
audience had lost interest in the theatrics and now played at dice or ate the free
lunch provided or any of a number of other things other than paying attention.
He wondered again how he had allowed himself to decide this was a good idea.
It's not like he really owed Isreell anything. Yet the old man had done a lot to
keep his estates and affairs in order while he was gone. When his thoughts had
turned to his estates, Master Beru had merely hoped that he would still have a bed
much less that it had grown.
Yet when he showed up on Isreell's doorstep, he had received quite the surprise.
How the old theatre owner had ever developed the skills to turn the three small farms
into a trading dynasty still evaded the long time General. Over forty-seven farms
now supplied over half the cities in Alastari with everything from apples and oranges
to beef and mutton as well as a smattering of jewelry and mid-grade weapons which
were made exclusively from the six mines that were now part of his lands and property
as well.
In addition, the old codger had developed a network of contacts and informants
who gave such good information about the upcoming events that it bordered on seeing
the future. Since he had returned, those informants had made it possible to make a
hefty profit off of almost two tons of copper when it was discovered that an
oversight for the upcoming tournament had left them lacking the needed supply. And
if word from his informant in the Gladiatorial commission was correct, then he had
won the majority of the contracts for lumber and marble to reinforce and expand the
soon to be active arena 82. He had dispatched riders to confirm that little fact,
but as yet had no confirmation.
Applause brought his attention back to the show on the stage. Catcalls were
also rising from the gathered crowd, and it did not take long to spot why. Joan and
David had both had "wardrobe malfunctions" which left her in the thin underbreeches
which left little to the imagination and his shirt had been torn off by the armor
which had caused the calamity. The armor was being worn by George who was strutting
across the stage with Joan's and David's garments trailing him as he delivered a
particularly serious part of the play.
Master Beru shook his head again. Perhaps there was "some" talent here, but he
only saw it as negative. It surely took skill to be that bad....
Getting up to leave, he saw Irwin rush onto stage with a blanket to cover Joan
before losing his balance and falling into the audience in front of the stage. He
almost ran into a person himself as he made his way out, amazed that these buffoons
had managed to get a 5-5 record to date. Whatever deities there were must be
enjoying the irony....
<Offices of The Pink Playhouse>
"Arden, any word on that new paint? I really want to get this place painted
some other color."
"Sorry Boss, the last trip to the merchant said he had no word yet. That redone
arena is apparently taking priority on that sort of stuff right now anyway, so he
does not expect to see it anytime soon. There is word of another one coming soon if
the commission gets enough interest."
"Yeah, I've heard of it. Another "no-tournament" arena which would run slower
than the regular one is hoped to be in action by the middle of the spring or summer.
But how does that effect my paint order?"
"I believe all of this is getting the attention of most of those who make things
that would go into those arenas. Speaking of which, a courier arrived from Isreell.
We have received an order for two hundred scimitars for that new arena. He needs to
hire two new smithies and buy the necessary coal and tools to get those produced in
time for their first turn."
Master Beru shakes his head as he sits down at the table. The man built this
monstrous organization and yet he defers to a man who still finds out something new
each day about his own property. Taking a deep breath, he nodded to his assistant,
knowing that Arden would take care of the details.
Across the room, Arden kept his face smooth at the gesture from Master Beru.
The former general was formidable, but he was coming around. A little longer and
Arden could begin carrying out his real purpose here. The added distraction of the
contest starting would help as well. Soon....
<The Arena>
The crowds in the stands were cheering loudly as the warriors took their
positions. Some people sat while those around them jostled for the best view. All
knew that today began a contest to see which alliance could field the best warriors
for the next twelve or so fights. All had their favorites in each class and wanted
to see the blood flow freely by their hero.
The atmosphere was electrifying for everyone, especially the warriors waiting
below. Their rituals since training had been completed. Their armor and weapons had
been selected. Those with long hair had tied it back. Each contemplated or prayed
or played a small game with the man near them or talked quietly about the casual
portions of their life that they hoped to return to later.
And through it all, two voices could be made out. David and Joan had a group of
fighters around them as they acted out a skit that Napoleon had written that week.
This had begun on their first week and was already quite a hit before the fights.
Word was that the Arenamaster himself had been requested to send them out last so
that they could do their little routine each week.
The gist of this story had something to do with David, who was playing a king,
ending up in a very compromising position with a pig, two donkeys, and a handful of
mice while Joan used her wits and devious mind to trick him. Joan's character was,
of course, the fair maiden who every king wished to take advantage of and drew any
number of laughs as she convinced the king that only one thing remained to win her
"favors". With an embarrassed, timid look, David grabbed a stick and mimed putting
the mice inside before....
"David!! TIMELY HEROES! DAVID!! You're up next."
A collective groan rose from the group of warriors as David put the stick aside
and walked slowly to the gateway. The acting calmed his nerves, but that call always
brought the jitters back. At the gate was the team steward who took his props.
Pausing, he pulled an engraving from the place it rested over his heart. He studied
it silently before handing it to the steward.
************************
The steward, Hanghin, was a kind old man who had three children he cared for
since his daughter and son-in-law had both died in this very arena. He watched the
warrior preparing himself and felt the familiar tears roll down his face. Not too
long ago he thought his loss was a long way behind him, but now that he had grown to
know these warriors, the pain was renewed each fight. So far he had not seen any
lost, but he knew this could not last.
For that day and for the losses he had already suffered, he cried. For the
engraving that he held which held the carving of three roughly worked faces, he
cried. For what he had agreed to, he cried.
And then he ran....
<Offices of The Pink Playhouse>
"Master Beru. We found him. He was in the swamp, wandering."
"Was he mumbling again?"
"Yes sir. He was in the midst of his argument with Virilia. Word-for-word
again. The person who found him was a woman about Virilia's height and build and he
tried to subdue her."
Master Beru sighed. Three days with little sleep while warriors and staff
searched for the old man made him feel his age. And once again he was forced to
decide what to do Hanghin. The old man had little enough use because of his frailty.
But add to that his penchant for running off and acting out the events that lead to
his insanity.... He had to figure something out for the man.... Just what....
"I ordered him bedded down and set one of the servants outside his door in case
he decides to wander again."
"Very good, Arden. You did well. Have you sent word to the rest?"
"Yes sir. They should return soon."
"Good. Let me know when the last ones are back."
"Yes sir."
Leaving the room, Arden again wondered at this man. He had dug and pushed and
prodded, but could not get to the bottom of this. Why this hardened general and
manager cared so much for a demented man was beyond him. For some other people he
would have assumed it was because the man had lost his daughter and son-in-law and
all three of his grandchildren in the arena, but surely there was something deeper at
work here. Surely....
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Abraxis began to walk out of the chamber, leaving Baphomet standing where he
was. As the Druid began to enter the sunlight, Baphomet could still hear his profane
utterances.
Groo jumped up and down, clapping his hands and shouting, "A back ass, a back
ass!"
Baphomet quickly hurried along behind the ranting Druid saying "Slow down buddy,
let's talk!"
Abraxis ignored his plea and started running! He ran across the clearing and
jumped onto the riding lizard, leaving Baphomet standing there with a Free-Jay
mewling plaintively at his feet and Groo repeatedly yelling, "A back ass, a back
ass."
Abraxis rode toward town, not thinking about his friends, only planning the
demise of that impetuous weasel Wasby. He would put together a group of Obscure
Legends including Groo and Grim Jack to consummate his plan. The Turf War was coming
up and that little reprobate was bound to show his yellow asterisk sooner or later.
Baphomet came to the realization that he was stranded a two day ride from town
with the simpleton Groo and that damnable cat Free-Jay. He also knew that Abraxis
was in for a rude awakening. His old alliance the Desolate Empire had seized and
liquidated all his assets and even turned his guildhouse into a brothel, there was
going to be hell to pay!
Two days later as Abraxis entered town, the first thing he noticed, was the XX
Arena, "What the heck!" exclaimed the Druid almost falling off his lizard in
surprise.
He headed towards his guildhouse and began to yell in anger and disgust when he
read the sign affixed to the front of the building. "The Barren Broth, for the Most
Desolate lay anywhere!" was proudly proclaimed.
Abraxis tethered his lizard to the hitching rail and entered the abomination,
that once had been his guildhouse. As he saw the women inside, bile began to rise in
his throat. What a motley collection of females. He hadn't seen anything this
disgusting, since he'd accidentally walked in on Polar Bear showering in Chimlevtal.
He ran out of the building dry-heaving violently. Aside from the sight of the girls,
the smell had been horrendous.
Abraxis headed towards the docks, sure that he would find his oldest friend
there.
After about 30 minutes of searching, he heard screams coming from an alleyway,
"Please, don't hurt me, no, no, argh!" He rounded the corner just as his old friend
CFH snapped the miscreant's leg with a resounding crack. CFH said, "I'll be back
next week and you better have my money!"
CFH looked up saying, "Abraxis, Toker said you were dead!"
"The reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated," replied the Druid. He then
told CFH all he knew!
On the spot, the two formed "The High Dolla Free Agents" to get back on top and
to make their enemies suffer. The D.E. would rue the day that they ever crossed
Abraxis!
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NORTH FORK NEWS
Third Cycle 246
by Hammer the WordSmith
"And let the beauty and delightfulness and favor of the Lord our God be upon us;
confirm and establish the work of our hands--yes, the work of our hands, confirm and
establish it." -- Psalms 90:17 Amplified
THE WINGED DISPATCH RIDER brought the news to Hammer as quickly as possible that
the gladiator known as SWAMP DAWG HAMMER had fallen upon the sands of the Tempe Facer
Rookies Tourney. Swamp Syndicate member and Proxy for the veteran manager's stables
known as JGW had done a fine job of overseeing the progress of the veteran manager's
paper warriors in their quest for Skill Learns and Fight Experience.
The remainder of the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ stable had managed to survive the ordeal
prior to the opening round of the Turf War. Now it was time to do battle in one of
the greatest contests ever held throughout Alastari against some of the finest
managers ever to send stables out on the sands. Hammer was truly blessed to compete
alongside the members of the Swamp Syndicate. Expectations were high and blades were
sharp.
Hammer had left it in the capable hands of JGW to register the replacement with
the Gladiatorial Commission. Now it was only a matter of time before SWAMP BOGG
HAMMER would prove to be a positive or a negative force within the ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ
stable during the Turf War.
Now it was a New Year. New Players and Old Friends. The Arena originally named
North Fork would Rock and the Swamp would Roll. Attrition would certainly take its
toll. The Greatest Contest in Swamp History was about to Commence with a
Vengeance....
"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"
Hammer
Minister of War
Swamp Syndicate Scribe
DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.
Seems a shame to lose our Duelmaster due to inactivity, but I'm happy to retain
the throne anyway. Methinks the #1 contender to this title belt will have to be
given her shot, a rumble in the jungle, a thrilla in manilla, a XXX in XX. We'll
have to see if I'm still here next turn.
Don King
Royal Flush
SPY REPORT
The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon DOUBLE-X, for
I, Novgorodny Vir, have returned! Managers were muttering after TIMELY HEROES showed
DOUBLE-X what they could do: 4-1-0 to move up by 13. Perhaps it is BLACK STORM
members' intannibility that enabled them to move from 25th to 5th last week... (Less
time in the sun...) Like a chunk of francium heaved into a wet pond, DREADBLADE blew
up the rankings to 13! Managers were muttering after DOOMWOLVES showed DOUBLE-X what
they could do: 3-2-0 to move up by 13. The boys at BAAL'S MINIONS aren't the
happy-go-lucky bunch we all know and love, after suffering a 11 drop last week.
Perhaps it is DARQUE FORCES members' intannibility that enabled them to move from
35th to 18th last week... (Less time in the sun...) Like a chunk of francium heaved
into a wet pond, SECOND BANANAS blew up the rankings to 14! Rumor has it an
incurable disease has swept the stable of SALEM'S LOT. Note their drop in the
rankings from 7th to 21st. Watch out!!! Managers were muttering after JGW
PERISHABLE showed DOUBLE-X what they could do: 4-1-0 to move up by 17. Perhaps it
is OF WOLF AND MAN members' intannibility that enabled them to move from 40th to 27th
last week... (Less time in the sun...) Thinking about sending their team manager to
the Dark Arena is DRAKE'S COMICS, after suffering a 16 drop in ranking. Say what you
will about blind luck and dirty fighting, but THINGS I DROOL IN will tell you 42-28-4
is nothing to laugh at... Like a new team fighting for the first time and entering
the official rankings, THE LAST RESORT got 4-1-0 to come in 26th. Practice pays for
SPECTRE, who pummelled BOQ, to pocket 24 points. Win some, lose some. Speaking of
which, PARTY TRAP was winsome, after beating ZOMBIE ASSASSIN and seeing him lose 16
points. The arena was more crowded than usual this time, as SISTER MARY SARAH faced
DOUBLE-X's Duelmaster. In DOUBLE-X, nothing is permanent (except Death), and we find
ourselves a new Duelmaster, SISTER MARY SARAH. Word has it one team in DOUBLE-X is
using psychics to predict wins. They lead a charmed life!
My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter.
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights! Perhaps the warriors of STRANGE BREW
should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team... As a woman of good
breeding scorns the "warriors" of DREADBLADE, so did that sorry team shy from STRANGE
BREW If challenges were horses, DA TING could open up a fast food joint! As a
confidence booster, FLESH HUNTER challenged DESCENT TO DUNWICH, down 18 points. Do
you also slay vicious rodents in your spare time, FLESH HUNTER? FLESH HUNTER beat
DESCENT TO DUNWICH. The whole thing leaves a bitter memory. Call 'im brash! Call
'im brassy! Call 'im brave! Call 'im sassy! BERA will face FANG SKIN, up by 29.
Aaaah, just call 'im dead meat. Not to smear a reputation, but BAAL'S MINIONS must
be a little surprised, as FANG SKIN blew it when facing BERA, 29 points below him.
Willing to win at any cost is PROHIBITION, who challenged WOZZECK, 14 points junior.
Our sympathies, WOZZECK! I thought PROHIBITION showed great skill and promise when
he bested WOZZECK. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal!
Ah, the duel! The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd! More than one
waitress at The Warty Toad was spilling more drinks than usual last week, as BANE's
early demise became known. What will KNIGHTS TEMPLAR do??? Justice was served as
LURKING FEAR fought PYTHON in bloodfeud. Well done, ABYSMAL RITES! How true is
GAELIC STORM's mettle? Just one week remains for the avenging of IRISH CAR BOMB's
death. Ask not for whom the sword slashes; it slashes for thee.
All good things must come to an end. As the seasons change, and the creatures
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place. Like a mixed
metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid DOUBLE-X farewell-- Novgorodny Vir
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 22 3 0 128 OLD HABITS (566)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
PROHIBITION 5607 14 12 0 122 INDIFFERENCE (611)
SPECTRE 5654 9 3 1 114 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-RED DEVIL 5732 8 4 0 113 LOST SOULS (618)
HUMBUG 5199 22 16 1 111 LAND OF OZ (217)
SISTER SLEDGE 5341 12 3 1 104 OLD HABITS (566)
DON KING 5374 14 13 1 103 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-ROISIN DUBH 6038 12 11 1 101 GAELIC STORM (647)
OPAI 5735 11 3 0 96 DARK PINNACLE (598)
-RAZOR 5689 9 3 2 96 LOST SOULS (618)
ORC PLAGUE 5501 9 4 2 96 DARQUE FORCES (396)
-MORWHEN 5686 11 6 2 95 LOST SOULS (618)
LAST CALL 5606 12 11 0 94 INDIFFERENCE (611)
MAGIC WAND 5771 13 5 0 92 LAND OF OZ (217)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
WOZZECK 5644 10 7 0 89 THE OPERA (613)
BOQ 5873 12 1 0 87 LAND OF OZ (217)
KILLING JOKE 5611 16 11 1 86 INDIFFERENCE (611)
SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439 14 13 2 85 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
JACK & JILL 5310 17 15 0 83 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
BLACK THUNDER 3885 15 15 0 80 BLACK STORM (171)
PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659 10 5 2 80 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
KILL*SWITCH 5809 7 2 1 80 DARQUE FORCES (396)
-WYRD 5167 12 7 0 79 DESOLATE ONES (524)
DA TING 5129 6 2 0 79 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
DRAMA QUEEN 5494 14 11 0 78 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
CUP OF TOE 5433 10 5 1 78 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
EVICSERATOR 5358 14 14 1 76 BLACK STORM (171)
-RHIANNON 6031 11 9 0 75 GAELIC STORM (647)
CRYPT ANGEL 5553 10 9 1 75 SALEM'S LOT (605)
SUCULANT 3589 16 18 1 74 WARHAMMERS (75)
DEVOUT CHRISTIAN 5321 17 16 4 73 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
HANTA 5443 9 8 0 71 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
GREEDY 5223 9 3 0 70 RAT SALAD (577)
TEMPUS 4635 15 17 1 69 WARHAMMERS (75)
MY SLEEP 5657 7 7 0 69 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-BLOOD RAYNE 5489 14 10 1 68 DARK PINNACLE (598)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ICHORID 5584 11 9 1 66 SALEM'S LOT (605)
PARTY TRAP 5496 8 5 1 66 PALINDROMES (599)
MEDEE 5642 13 3 0 65 THE OPERA (613)
BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN 5658 11 4 0 65 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
PRINCE IGOR 5640 8 3 0 63 THE OPERA (613)
LITTLE BIG MAN 5393 14 14 1 61 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
AVATAR OF WOE 5850 11 2 0 59 SALEM'S LOT (605)
SWAMP STORM 5893 9 2 0 59 BLACK STORM (171)
SISTER MERCY 5526 7 7 1 59 OLD HABITS (566)
BLACKENED 5531 8 7 0 58 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
JUSTICE FOR ALL 5534 7 6 0 57 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BEXAR 5906 7 5 0 56 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
TEN IS RAQUET 5815 6 11 0 55 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
THE RAMPAGING BULK 5133 8 2 0 54 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
CYANIDE 5444 7 8 2 54 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
LURKING FEAR 1755 5 2 0 53 ABYSMAL RITES (215)
DEMONIC HEX 5530 10 5 0 52 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
RACECAR 5498 8 5 1 51 PALINDROMES (599)
FADE TO BLACK 5695 8 6 0 51 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
SISTER MARY SUEELLEN 5671 8 5 1 50 OLD HABITS (566)
NIGHTCRAWLER 6237 7 4 1 49 X-MEN II (660)
ZOMBIE ASSASSIN 5552 11 8 1 48 SALEM'S LOT (605)
NILES 5860 4 2 0 48 SECOND BANANAS (573)
KING OF BEASTS 5880 6 4 0 43 LAND OF OZ (217)
-CRYSTAL 5895 4 1 0 43 DARK PINNACLE (598)
ASP 5843 7 7 1 42 THE SERPENTS (629)
MADAME BUTTERFLY 5792 5 5 0 42 THE OPERA (613)
MOMBA 5945 7 1 1 41 THE SERPENTS (629)
DEATH KISS 5751 8 3 1 40 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
KENSAI 5267 5 5 0 40 RAT SALAD (577)
MALARIA 5837 3 1 0 40 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
SIEGE BEST 5797 9 9 1 39 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
THE RON 5914 5 4 0 38 WARHAMMERS (75)
BULLPEN ACE 5907 6 5 1 37 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-WONGA 6281 5 1 0 36 FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665)
MY PILLOW 5660 9 2 0 35 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
TNT 5499 7 6 1 35 PALINDROMES (599)
SWAMP CALL HAMMER 5985 7 0 1 35 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
FLESH HUNTER 6053 4 0 0 33 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
COURT JESTER 5883 2 1 1 33 EMPIRE RISING (633)
MALICIOUS 6245 2 0 0 33 DOOMWOLVES (662)
PYTHON 5903 6 5 1 32 THE SERPENTS (629)
RIGORMORTIS 5736 5 4 0 31 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-PIER 6287 6 2 0 30 FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665)
BOGBANE 5500 5 9 1 29 DARQUE FORCES (396)
ROGER L'BEAU 5828 5 6 0 29 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
FIDELIO 5859 5 2 0 29 THE OPERA (613)
SIR KILLALOT 6020 4 2 0 29 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
SS GUARD 6018 3 1 0 29 NATURAL B. KILLERS 2 (584)
BARBARINO 5957 2 0 0 29 SECOND BANANAS (573)
-WAR CRY HAMM 5436 6 3 0 28 DESOLATE ONES (524)
BABY 5224 7 6 0 27 RAT SALAD (577)
STORM 6234 5 6 0 27 X-MEN II (660)
NORM 6227 3 0 0 27 CHEERS (659)
HEIR APPARENT 5881 2 1 1 26 EMPIRE RISING (633)
MALT 6238 3 0 1 25 STRANGE BREW (661)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
IRWIN ROMMEL 6200 2 1 0 25 TIMELY HEROES (656)
LONELY SON 5882 2 3 0 25 EMPIRE RISING (633)
QUEEN OF TARTS 5980 1 2 0 25 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
COBRA 5842 5 9 0 24 THE SERPENTS (629)
BERA 6215 1 2 0 24 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BREMM SPARKFIST 5917 6 5 0 23 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
ADDER 5920 6 3 0 23 THE SERPENTS (629)
OBLIVIATOR 6067 2 2 0 23 BLACK STORM (171)
MIRAGE 5912 3 2 0 22 DARK PINNACLE (598)
CLAUDIA 6220 2 0 1 22 HEART BREAKERS (658)
GENERATION 6243 2 0 0 22 DOOMWOLVES (662)
STORMSTRIKE 5916 5 6 0 21 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
DETARTRATED 5497 4 9 0 21 PALINDROMES (599)
MILLA 6221 2 0 1 21 HEART BREAKERS (658)
CLIFF 6226 2 1 0 21 CHEERS (659)
SISTER SAM 6300 1 0 0 21 OLD HABITS (566)
CHRIS TURNER 6172 0 1 0 21 JGW PERISHABLE (653)
PSYLOCKE 6228 4 7 1 20 X-MEN II (660)
JOAN OF ARC 6198 2 1 0 20 TIMELY HEROES (656)
MISS GULCH 5984 3 4 0 19 LAND OF OZ (217)
SMOKESCREEN 5944 3 2 0 19 DARQUE FORCES (396)
BEAR AWARE 6004 4 2 0 18 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
JEKKI ZAI 6275 2 0 1 18 DREADBLADE (664)
HELLITH 6195 2 0 0 18 INFERNAL CABARET (648)
POLARIS 6230 4 2 0 17 X-MEN II (660)
OBLIVION 6244 2 0 0 17 DOOMWOLVES (662)
RAY MONROE 6173 1 0 0 17 JGW PERISHABLE (653)
CEREBRO 6229 2 3 0 16 X-MEN II (660)
ROIS ANIN 6068 1 2 1 16 WARHAMMERS (75)
JETHRO 5949 1 0 1 16 SECOND BANANAS (573)
WOODY 6223 2 1 1 15 CHEERS (659)
DESCENT TO DUNWICH 6209 1 2 0 15 ABYSMAL RITES (215)
MICE CREAM 6265 1 0 0 15 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-WILDCHILD 6284 3 3 0 14 FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665)
-LADY PERI 5599 3 2 0 14 DESOLATE ONES (524)
-BRENDA KILRAVEN 6212 2 0 0 14 GAELIC STORM (647)
IN THE GRIP OF ERYX 6260 2 0 0 14 ABYSMAL RITES (215)
BLUNDER WOMAN 6271 1 1 1 13 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
SALSA ELEMENTAL 6312 1 0 0 13 DARQUE FORCES (396)
GREEN KNIGHT 6069 0 3 0 13 WARHAMMERS (75)
-FE MALE 5211 3 1 0 12 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
NAPOLEON BONAPARTE 6201 2 1 0 12 TIMELY HEROES (656)
DAVID 6199 2 1 0 12 TIMELY HEROES (656)
CHRIS PERRY 6213 1 0 0 12 JGW PERISHABLE (653)
FANG SKIN 6070 3 1 0 11 BAAL'S MINIONS (626)
BOOSTER PYRITE 5964 1 4 0 11 DRAKE'S COMICS (463)
SWAMP BOGG HAMMER 6306 1 0 0 11 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
REBECCA 6222 1 1 0 11 HEART BREAKERS (658)
BONEBREAKER 6296 1 0 0 11 DREADBLADE (664)
ASYLUM 6186 1 0 0 11 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
STU JAMISON 6248 1 0 0 11 THE LAST RESORT (663)
TWO 6319 1 0 0 11 GANKERS, INC (667)
YELLOW SNOW CONE 6266 1 0 0 11 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
MEDUSA 6204 1 1 0 11 B.L.A.C.K. (657)
CHOLORA 5866 2 0 0 10 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
GEORGE WASHINGTON 6197 1 2 0 10 TIMELY HEROES (656)
GALIUS 5865 1 7 0 10 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
JOHNATHAN THOMPSON 6214 1 0 0 10 JGW PERISHABLE (653)
CAPTAIN KIRK 5954 1 0 0 10 BORN TO MACK (639)
-HOTTZ 6078 1 1 0 10 WOMEN OF WAR (650)
-BLADE 6168 1 0 0 10 IRON LEGION (652)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
JIM BOB 6249 1 0 0 10 THE LAST RESORT (663)
-SLAP MISTRESS 6179 1 1 0 10 DESOLATE ONES (524)
HELLFYRE 6247 1 1 0 10 DOOMWOLVES (662)
SPENDID SPORE 6264 1 0 0 9 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
JAY MONROE 6175 1 0 0 9 JGW PERISHABLE (653)
RICO SUAVE 5951 1 0 0 9 BORN TO MACK (639)
-CRESCENT 6167 1 0 0 9 IRON LEGION (652)
GROO 6182 2 1 0 8 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654)
SWAMP MUDD HAMMER 6299 1 0 1 8 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
ARSENIC 5836 1 5 0 8 DOK SIK KILLAS (595)
HIGH TEST 6239 1 2 0 8 STRANGE BREW (661)
QUANTUM 6183 2 1 0 7 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654)
FRASIER 6224 2 1 0 7 CHEERS (659)
UFALIN 6272 2 0 0 7 DREADBLADE (664)
WOODY 6185 2 1 0 7 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654)
-VYXXEN 6075 1 1 1 7 WOMEN OF WAR (650)
WRETCH 5885 1 1 1 7 EMPIRE RISING (633)
RIPPER 6273 1 1 0 7 DREADBLADE (664)
PUDDY 6295 1 0 0 7 SECOND BANANAS (573)
-HAMMER 6170 0 1 0 7 IRON LEGION (652)
ALE 6240 1 2 0 6 STRANGE BREW (661)
CATHA 6059 1 3 0 6 INFERNAL CABARET (648)
STIFFLER 5952 1 0 0 6 BORN TO MACK (639)
-SCIMITAR 6169 0 2 0 6 IRON LEGION (652)
HOPS 6242 1 2 0 5 STRANGE BREW (661)
BADGER 6184 1 2 0 5 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654)
CARLA 6225 1 2 0 5 CHEERS (659)
PILSNER 6241 1 2 0 5 STRANGE BREW (661)
TIC-TAC 6252 1 0 0 5 THE LAST RESORT (663)
WILLIE THE JANITOR 6251 1 0 0 5 THE LAST RESORT (663)
SWAMP FOX HAMMER 6297 0 1 0 5 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
ALGRUM 6276 1 1 0 4 DREADBLADE (664)
-VANESSA 6077 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650)
CHARLIZE 6219 1 1 0 4 HEART BREAKERS (658)
-ALANARIA 6076 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650)
-FOXXY 6074 1 1 0 4 WOMEN OF WAR (650)
-MORRA FELLBLADE 6279 1 1 0 4 FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665)
NIVIENE 6060 0 4 0 4 INFERNAL CABARET (648)
ANTOINE L'JOI 5988 0 2 0 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
PESTILENCE 6203 0 2 0 2 B.L.A.C.K. (657)
XXL 6178 0 2 0 2 INDIFFERENCE (611)
KIERA 6218 0 2 0 2 HEART BREAKERS (658)
CHANCE 6205 0 2 0 2 B.L.A.C.K. (657)
GRAVE ROBBER 6202 0 2 0 2 B.L.A.C.K. (657)
MICHELE CLOUGH 5989 0 2 0 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (568)
-HAVIK 6066 0 2 0 2 DRANG'S TEAM (649)
-DRANG 6065 0 2 0 2 DRANG'S TEAM (649)
BEARCLAW 6315 0 1 0 1 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
DAYS-R-#'ERD 6304 0 1 0 1 RAT SALAD (577)
-FAZT FIZT 6063 0 1 0 1 DRANG'S TEAM (649)
ITHYIC THING 6292 0 1 0 1 ABYSMAL RITES (215)
-SALTY DOG 6263 0 1 0 1 GAELIC STORM (647)
THREE 6317 0 1 0 1 GANKERS, INC (667)
WILT CHAMBERLAIN 5950 0 1 0 1 BORN TO MACK (639)
-GERGOR 6278 0 1 0 1 FOLLOWER'S OF XOAN (665)
BEAR HUG 6316 0 1 0 1 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
PAIN KILLER 6257 0 1 0 1 DARK PINNACLE (598)
ONE 6321 0 1 0 1 GANKERS, INC (667)
TOO $HORT 5953 0 1 0 1 BORN TO MACK (639)
VLADIMIR 6250 0 1 0 1 THE LAST RESORT (663)
GRIM JACK 6301 0 1 0 1 OBSCURE LEGENDS (654)
LOST SOUL 6291 0 1 0 1 ABYSMAL RITES (215)
FIVE 6318 0 1 0 1 GANKERS, INC (667)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ABANDON HOPE 6289 0 1 0 1 SALEM'S LOT (605)
SAMGLANT 6305 0 1 0 1 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
FOUR 6320 0 1 0 1 GANKERS, INC (667)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
RED MIRA 1753 1 2 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 PIZZA PIE PARTY 5659 242 NOT REVE
AQUILLA 1756 3 2 1 ABYSMAL RITES 215 PYTHON 5903 244 JUST REV
THRESHER OF SOUL 6071 0 1 0 ABYSMAL RITES 215 VYXXEN 6075 243
BRIANNA 6206 0 2 0 B.L.A.C.K. 657 WRETCH 5885 246
BEAR SKINRUG 5399 12 10 1 THE BEAR'S PAW 150 ROISIN DUBH 6038 243
INNERVATE 6246 0 2 0 DOOMWOLVES 662 CLAUDIA 6220 246
BEIGE SURFER 6021 2 2 0 DRAKE'S COMICS 463 ASP 5843 244
EVEL NEWT 6062 0 1 0 DRANG'S TEAM 649 MALT 6238 244
NICOLE NOIR 6064 0 1 0 DRANG'S TEAM 649 WOODY 6223 245
IRISH CAR BOMB 6024 8 3 0 GAELIC STORM 647 DON KING 5374 243
WICKER WITCH 6005 0 1 0 GOTHIC MINISTRY 592 WURM KIN 27 246 NONE
NOOOO 6302 0 1 0 INDIFFERENCE 611 MURDEROUS MARK 18 246 NONE
BELERUS 6061 0 4 0 INFERNAL CABARET 648 BLUNDER WOMAN 6271 246
HEMDAL 6057 1 3 0 INFERNAL CABARET 648 ROIS ANIN 6068 246
KARGOTH 6058 0 1 0 INFERNAL CABARET 648 SWAMP CALL HAMME 5985 243
BANE 5946 3 1 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 568 COURT JESTER 5883 246
MARINESINIRAQ 6193 0 2 0 NATURAL B. KILLER 584 JETHRO 5949 246
SISTER CHRISTIAN 6008 0 1 0 OLD HABITS 566 JEKKI ZAI 6275 245
HA-HA...HA..HA? 6303 0 1 0 RAT SALAD 577 THE BARTENDER 26 246 NONE
MR ROPER 6314 0 1 0 SECOND BANANAS 573 SWAMP MUDD HAMME 6299 246
CHER FILM FEST 6313 0 1 0 THINGS I DROOL IN 614 MR. COFFEE 24 246 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
Good luck to one and all; whether you be alliances, federations, nonalliances,
conglomerations, fellowships, syndicates, or what-alls, we wish you luck in the TW5.
May the best of the best come out as best. -- Oz The All Excited
Don King -- Congratulations! Finally a CC and a SCOMSS Fellow on the throne. A
great day! -- Oz The All Praising
Baphomet -- Although other certs have been mailed, we cannot seem to be able to close
the sell and get all six "paid" for SCOMSS. Hence, today via snail, another set of
four certs were mailed to your Maryland arena. SCOMSS should now be "whole". If you
end up with additional extras, add them to the prize pool. -- Oz The All
Accommodating
Nuln...Manager...collusion? Oh, I see. Well, certainly. Since SCOMSS is not a
nonalliance, but rather a fellowship, we straightforwardly admit to aspiring to
positive collusion. The Creepster, who studied under Manager and The Sentinel in the
recent TOGS, has been giving members of The Fellowship pointers about collusion. We
intend to capitalize on that learned talent in the TW5. -- Oz The All Learned
Ultraist? THE Ultraist? Welcome to The Swamp, you old Wildcat, you. -- Oz The
Welcome Wagon
Pilsner -- I drink little boyos like you for lunch! Come to me, my pretty.... --
Miss Gulch
Medee -- You took my courage, you meanie. I'm gonna tell Dorothy. -- King Of Beasts
Little Big Man -- Whew! I always worry about you two-faced psychotic types! Killers
all! -- Magic Wand
All -- ABYSMAL RITES (215) will be competing in TW allied with the Rookie
Confederation.... -- Reaper
Hammer -- Thanks for the welcome. Looks like this is going to be a fun place. --
Wretch
Algrum -- Well if I have to lose and have someone learn all those damn skills off me,
at least it was to an alliance member. -- High Test the hurting
Ripper -- If you are gonna beat me at least you could teach me more. -- Hops
Psylocke -- I think you got lucky there. If my weapon hadn't broken, I think I would
have put you down. Maybe next time. -- Ale
Scimitar -- At least you got some decent learns for your effort. -- Malt
Miss Gulch -- I was just being polite and letting ladies go first. It appears my
good manners were my down fall or maybe it was that big hammer. I can't seem to
recall for some reason. -- Pilsner
Oz -- Thanks for the welcome. I hope we can put up a good showing and make it as
difficult as possible for all the other TW teams. -- Wretch
I declare my team Natural B. Killers for the Turf War fighting with the 3D alliance.
-- Maximillian, Natural B. Killers
SCOMMS -- Well done at the FtF? Shame on Slugbait for having yet another character
pass away in Rounds 10 or later. Must be the Consortium Proxy influence. -- Crip
North Fork -- Beware--I leave the team unattended for a few months, and I note all
the brutal challenges coming my way. Things like this will not be left alone. --
Crip
Baphomet -- Royal Flush declares Don King to be our Champion. -- Crip
Spectre -- Are you sure you needed an encore? -- Jack & Jill
The Rampaging Bulk -- I think you misunderstand the word Rampaging. -- Ten Is Raquet
Bogbane -- Hmmm, I seemed to have been unable to find the strike zone. -- Bullpen Ace
Da Ting -- You on the other hand, seem to be struggling to get to first base. --
Drama Queen
All -- Drake declares that he is indeed a 'D' and so Drake's Comics shall be lending
its support to the 3D alliance. Thus violating the famous Marxian axiom, "I don't
want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member." -- Drake
Baph -- RSI should be sending you a roll-up cert on my behalf this turn. -- Drake
(chairman of the "Rename North Fork back to North Fork" committee)
Wretch -- Well, it is a SWAMP after all. Consider the smell of decaying vegetation
to be just another aspect of North Fork's homey "charm". -- Drake
P.S. Welcome and mind the muckbeasts.
P.P.S. If anyone offers to take you on a tour of our sewer system, just say no.
Oz -- Well, okay if it was unintentional I guess I can take you off the list. Still,
I owe you one 1-point downchallenge. Live in FEAR! -- Drake
P.S. Well, I guess you could keep living in the Emerald City. Subletting a summer
home in Fear would be acceptable.
Jekyll -- Hey, who invited you?! I don't know how I feel about having a reapist in
our swamp; even if your preferred target is whirlwinds. Talk about kinky. -- Drake
P.S. I've never heard of Divine Hail. I thought Hail was meant to be Infernal. Are
you sure I'm not confused?
Abraxis -- I recognize all kinds of obscure things. It's the obvious ones that tend
to escape me. -- Drake
Vindictus -- Well, I know it's in the middle of a swamp and all and I know the
seating is bad (someone should have told the contractors that stadium seating is
supposed to slope DOWN toward the field), and sure, the concession stand only serves
rat-on-a-stick and stale swamp water, but yeah, we call this an arena. -- Drake
P.S. I'm not so sure a blade made from dreadlocks makes for an effective weapon.
Drama Queen -- I'd have gone longer but I couldn't take all the whining and crying
anymore. -- Da Ting
Ten is Raquet -- Ten is too much racket. Bulk no like loud noise! Bulk SMASH stereo
system. Teach Ten to violate sound ordinance. -- the Rampaging Bulk
Cerebro -- Hey. No fair using your BRAIN in a fight! -- Blunder Woman
All -- My team for the Turf War is The Opera(613). Choosing a Champ was tough for
me, but I think I'm going to go with Wozzeck(5644). -- Manager
Swamp Citizens -- A new record has been set for receiving DM newsletters overseas!
My DM 47 newsletter for T-240 postmarked 8-8-06 was received on 1-18-07 over here! --
Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe
Oz the All Amused -- This is your time of year! Turf War Time! -- Hammer/Minister of
War/Swamp Syndicate Scribe
Turf War Tuffies -- Your Time for Posturing is Over! Time for the Sands to Run Red
and be Littered with Dead Pretenders! -- Hammer/Minister of War/Swamp Syndicate
Scribe
Oz the All Organized -- Congrats to you for your effort and expertise in guiding the
SCOMSS tourney crew to success. May the Turf War go as well for us as the FTF
tourney did! -- Mannequin
P.S. I would raise you to Oz the Almighty if you could raise J. Peterman from the
dead! :)
Polaris -- Wow, what an exciting fight. I thought you had me for sure in the last
minute. -- Barbarino
Baby -- Any chance you threw our fight? I'm not real pleased with all these new-
found recognition points. Can I just give them back to you? -- Niles
Everyone be sure to say hello to the newest Bananas--Puddy & Mr. Roper. -- Mannequin,
mgr. of Second Bananas
Liam the Goth -- Missed seeing your personal a couple of newsletters ago. Thanks for
the kudos regarding the last Mail-In tourney. I had no idea Obsession was one of
your guys. -- Mannequin
Slap Mistress -- Hmmm.... Well, I can chop down an Apple Tree, but you.... I didn't
appreciate that slap either. -- George W.
Bera -- Well fought!! Here, here!! Sorry it didn't go longer, but I suddenly
realized that I was late for my French lessons. Until next time, Viva la Gato! --
Joan of Arc
Please allow me to apologize for Joan's horrid French. I promise, she is in lessons!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think she just said "Go the cat!"?? Actually, I think
I need to find her a new teacher.... -- Master Beru
Badger -- I knew a man named Badger once. He owes me some money. I think that is
what crossed my mind in the fight.... Hold it!! Do you owe me money!?! -- David
SS Guard -- Well, I challenged you because of your name, but I must say, EXCELLENT
FIGHT!! Boss says that is one of the best pairings he has seen in quite a while, so
I would not be surprised if we cross swords again in the future. -- Irwin R.
Lady Peri -- Nice name. Just remember that elbow, okay?? Now, I'm going to find
some aspirin for my head. -- Napoleon B.
The Rookie Confederation recognizes the Followers of Xoan, managed by Xoan for TW5.
-- Master Beru, Captain, Rookie Confederation
To the teams of the Turf War, may your blades be sharp and the competition fierce for
the place of honor. We stand ready to prove our worthiness to all who would face the
Rookie Confederation. -- Master Beru, Captain
Congrats to all who fought in the Facer, saw quite a few names from NF. Now if I
only had more avoid spaces on these little pieces of paper.... -- Master Beru
Hammer -- You could say I'm on the cross-roads at this time, not sure what I'm going
to be doing. May jump around to all of the arenas I have teams in to see what's
going on in the world of D2. Hard to say my friend, may be fight with Master Beru
and his alliance, would be fun to run with Az again, like old times, you know? --
Liam the Goth
Azrael -- Good to see you running, what have you been up to? -- Liam
Master Beru -- Need another sword? -- Liam
Goat -- I do count Master Darque and the rest of DJI as allies, just so you know. --
Liam
Baphomet -- Apology accepted, even the part where you told Toker I was an open
target. -- Liam
Dark Knight Goat -- Wouldn't miss the competition of a Turf War for anything.
Provided Toker, Heathen, and Wasby make it we'll have a full compliment of competent
managers--if not, the four of us will put it down and represent the great Desolate
Empire! As far as I know Heathen is still in 52 and he mentioned going to 54 to face
off with Baphomet, though I'm not really sure. Hopefully, he'll show up here as we
could use his skill! I'm sending a diplo this turn so look for it. Das Blitzkreig!!
-- Dark Knight Kon
Dark Knight Blackstorm -- Hail Brother! It's high time these people know who the
Desolate Empire is, so keep your blades sharp and your wit sharper!! Have no mercy
and expect none in return, for we shall prevail! -- Dark Knight Kon
Dark Knight Dok Sik -- Sieg Heil! Diplo en route with this turn. If it remains just
the four of us we will still succeed in putting the Desolate Empire on the map. No
remorse, Brother! -- Dark Knight Kon
Oz the All Welcoming -- Salute to you and thank you for the words. From past
experience SCOMSS will likely be the Alliance to beat, so I look forward to locking
blades with you and yours. Best of luck to you! -- Dark Knight Kon, Empire Rising,
DEA
Rookie Confederation and Iron Council -- Best of luck to you and yours as well. --
Dark Knight Kon, Empire Rising, DEA
Toker, Heathen, Wasby -- I'm confident the three of you will declare this turn, so
welcome Brothers! It's time to represent the Desolate Empire ! -- Dark Knight Kon
Words of Wisdom: If you are the anvil, be patient
If you are the hammer, strike!
Baphomet -- Toker should have sent you all of the gift certs for the Desolate Empire
by this turn, however I also asked RSI to forward one as well just to make sure, so
please let us know if you've received ours. Thanks! -- Dark Knight Kon, Empire
Rising, DEA
Baphomet -- I declare for the Desolate Empire banner in the Turf War. My team name
is Born to Mack. I sent a roll-up cert a turn ago that you should have already
received. I am not planning on naming a champion. -- Dark Knight Wasby the Great
Heathen -- Sorry it took so long but here I am. Diplo on the way. DK Dok Sik should
be here this turn also. -- DK Wasby
Dark Knights -- Let's do our best to represent all that we stand for: namely,
crushing our enemies and showing the might of our blades in battle! Swift death to
our enemies and victory to the Empire! -- Dark Knight Wasby
All -- Well, it's the return of so-called upstart to the city of North Fork. I'm not
sure why I'm an upstart but nonetheless I seem to have acquired the title. No
matter, I can live with it. Last time I was here my fellow Dark Knights and I caused
quite a commotion. That never was nor is it my intention. With that said, I will
continue to defend myself and my brother Knights the same way I always have; swiftly
and with no remorse. But other than that, good luck to all in the Turf War! -- Dark
Knight Wasby the Great, D.E.
Goat -- I guess that I do owe you an explanation! When I bailed on the DE, only you
and I had positive point totals. I felt my name was being sullied by leading such a
group of Feebs. So, I retired Abraxis and managed under an assortment of guises.
Finally I said, "screw that, I am Abraxis". I'm glad you have Heathen with you, so
that you're not the sole support on the team. Blessed be. -- Abraxis
Goat -- I hate to tell you this, but look around. You're not surrounded by "strong-
men". As my will, so mote it be. -- Abraxis
Baphomet -- Cert sent on 12/14 from RSI. -- Abraxis
Manager -- I don't know you, but have heard nothing but good about you. I feel
privileged to be allied with you. Blessed be. -- Abraxis
Assurnasirbainipal -- Huh! Glad to be on your team! -- Abraxis
JGW -- I know nothing of you, but Baphomet touts you highly, so I guess I'm glad that
you're with us. As my will, so mote it be! -- Abraxis
Hammer -- Now this is a hard personal for me to write. Humility is not something
that I do well. Sorry for the things I said about you, they stemmed from my anger
and yes, even hatred of the VC. Let's put our differences aside and win this Turf
War! As my will, so mote it be. -- Abraxis
Baphomet -- I declare my champion to be Grim Jack. As my will, so mote it be. --
Abraxis
Welcome to all and hope the next few months prove interesting -- JGW
...and so it begins. Victory and honor to the 3D team! -- Kat
Wozzeck -- What? No sense of humor? -- Kat
Joan of Arc -- Nice. I suppose the 'voices' told you to hit him there? Come over to
our stable tonight--we're having BBQ. -- The oh-so-ever-loveable-me; Kat
Roisin -- I can do naught but shake my head. -- Kat
All -- I have been given a powerful sign that Sister Sam shall be named Champion to
bring true enlightenment to the unwashed masses of North Fork. -- Father O'Malley
All -- Confession will be held even two weeks just prior to the arena fights for all
those that would like to unburden their souls prior to meeting any of Mannequin's
hired killers. Come take a knee. -- Father O'Malley
All -- Looks like a great turn out. Looking forward to showing all of you the road
to everlasting peace. -- Father O'Malley
Rookie Confederation -- I hope to see all of you show up for mass. One must be
always diligent for there is a wormtongue within the Turf War. Be not fooled by this
serpent on two legs for he is a master at beguiling. -- Father O'Malley
Oz -- I for one feel it is time to remove the training wheels from Snuln and let him
try and walk among men on his own. Long has he been carried and preened by others.
May he step out from the tiny shadow cast by his former leader and forever more cast
his own shadow. -- Father O'Malley
Mannequin -- I was truly shocked to see the loss of your fine warrior at the face to
face contest. We could have used him. I would like to congratulate you of the fine
job of chastising the wicked and releasing thirteen wretched souls from their mortal
bonds. -- Father O'Malley
P.S. three tournament champions is a rather fine showing.
Slugbait -- Once again you bring honor to North Fork with your fine showing at the
face to face contest. -- Father O'Malley
Jekki Zai -- I am sure that the sisters will be calling on you to try and easy your
soul for the sins that you have performed. -- Father O'Malley
Baphomet -- What strange bedfellows you have lain with. What an interesting mix of
degenerates and gutter rats. I feel that even with my heart felt blessing you will
still be tainted for ever more. -- Father O'Malley
Tripwire -- Has the night become so dark that you have but one follower to carry your
baggage? The rising star of the Delarquan Empire seems to have blinded all the
others. Where are your lackeys like Ultraist and such? -- Father O'Malley
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
HA-HA...HA..HA? was dealt death by THE BARTENDER in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
CHER FILM FEST was butchered by MR. COFFEE in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
WICKER WITCH was easily killed by WURM KIN in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena match.
NOOOO was butchered by MURDEROUS MARK in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
LURKING FEAR overpowered PYTHON in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
NIVIENE was devastated by SWAMP CALL HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
FLESH HUNTER bested DESCENT TO DUNWICH in a 3 minute Challenge match.
LAST CALL was narrowly defeated by SISTER SLEDGE in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
PROHIBITION vanquished WOZZECK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
KILLING JOKE was vanquished by HUMBUG in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SISTER MARY SARAH luckily beat DON KING in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge Title melee.
SPECTRE demolished BOQ in a crowd pleasing 5 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
JACK & JILL outlasted SUCULANT in a unpopular 9 minute veteran's Challenge brawl.
MAGIC WAND handily defeated DEVOUT CHRISTIAN in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PRINCE IGOR was savagely defeated by DA TING in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.
LITTLE BIG MAN was overpowered by SWAMP BURP HAMMER in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
THE RAMPAGING BULK was viciously subdued by GREEDY in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
KILL*SWITCH overpowered SISTER MERCY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
FADE TO BLACK overpowered RIGORMORTIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
SISTER MARY SUEELLEN was bested by JUSTICE FOR ALL in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
BLACKENED demolished SIEGE BEST in a 2 minute gruesome uneven Challenge bout.
MADAME BUTTERFLY was overcome by TEN IS RAQUET in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
ICHORID overpowered NIGHTCRAWLER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
MEDEE defeated BEXAR in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
NILES was beaten by SWAMP STORM in a 3 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
MY PILLOW outlasted LONELY SON in a tiresome 11 minute gruesome Challenge bout.
KING OF BEASTS overpowered STORM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
HEIR APPARENT overpowered QUEEN OF TARTS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
BEAR AWARE slimly won victory over GREEN KNIGHT in a 3 minute brutal Challenge duel.
SMOKESCREEN overpowered GALIUS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
POLARIS overcame ALE in a 2 minute brutal Challenge fight.
COURT JESTER killed BANE in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
FIDELIO defeated CLIFF in a action packed 5 minute veteran vs. novice Challenge bout.
BARBARINO demolished GROO in a 1 minute gory uneven Challenge contest.
PSYLOCKE was devastated by DEATH KISS in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
CHANCE was unbelievably bested by UFALIN in a 7 minute gory beginner's Challenge bout.
GEORGE WASHINGTON savagely defeated CATHA in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge match.
DAVID was vanquished by KENSAI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BLUNDER WOMAN slaughtered BELERUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
JEKKI ZAI subdued QUANTUM in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge competition.
BERA beat FANG SKIN in a 2 minute novice's Challenge fight.
WOODY was viciously subdued by OBLIVIATOR in a 3 minute amateur's Challenge duel.
BADGER lost to HIGH TEST in a 3 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
HELLITH viciously subdued HELLFYRE in a 8 minute amateur's Challenge match.
CEREBRO was demolished by MOMBA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
NORM overpowered MISS GULCH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
WRETCH killed BRIANNA in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
CHARLIZE was handily defeated by GENERATION in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
CLAUDIA murdered INNERVATE in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge conflict.
HEMDAL was murdered by ROIS ANIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
ORC PLAGUE viciously subdued HANTA in a 2 minute brutal master's contest.
CUP OF TOE was unbelievably bested by BLACK THUNDER in a 4 minute veteran's battle.
TEMPUS was devastated by EVICSERATOR in a 1 minute one-sided match.
OPAI viciously subdued DRAMA QUEEN in a popular 12 minute gory brawl.
PIZZA PIE PARTY vanquished KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute gory one-sided struggle.
BOB'S COMIC COLLECTN devastated TNT in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
MY SLEEP savagely defeated DEMONIC HEX in a popular 2 minute gruesome match.
CRYPT ANGEL demolished CYANIDE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gory one-sided conflict.
ZOMBIE ASSASSIN was devastated by PARTY TRAP in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RACECAR was bested by AVATAR OF WOE in a action packed 2 minute match.
BOGBANE was viciously subdued by THE RON in a 5 minute gory bout.
ROGER L'BEAU was defeated by MALARIA in a 1 minute expert vs. beginner upset fight.
BABY was demolished by MALICIOUS in a 1 minute uneven battle.
DETARTRATED was overpowered by ASP in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
MIRAGE was subdued by BULLPEN ACE in a 2 minute duel.
SS GUARD devastated BOOSTER PYRITE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SIR KILLALOT demolished COBRA in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ARSENIC was defeated by NAPOLEON BONAPARTE in a 2 minute bloody fight.
STORMSTRIKE was vanquished by IRWIN ROMMEL in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BREMM SPARKFIST savagely defeated XXL in a 2 minute brutal expert vs. amateur match.
ADDER defeated REBECCA in a 5 minute fight.
MARINESINIRAQ was dispatched by JETHRO in a 3 minute melee.
RIPPER was subdued by JOAN OF ARC in a exciting 1 minute beginner's conflict.
GRAVE ROBBER was viciously subdued by SPENDID SPORE in a 2 minute novice's fight.
PESTILENCE was savagely defeated by JAY MONROE in a 3 minute gruesome amateur's fray.
MEDUSA savagely defeated FRASIER in a tiresome 7 minute bloody amateur's bout.
IN THE GRIP OF ERYX overpowered WILT CHAMBERLAIN in a 2 minute one-sided match.
ALGRUM was unbelievably bested by STU JAMISON in a 2 minute gruesome novice's fight.
KIERA was demolished by OBLIVION in a 3 minute one-sided contest.
MILLA demolished FOUR in a 1 minute uneven bout.
WOODY won victory over PILSNER in a action packed 1 minute beginner's match.
CARLA was overpowered by SALSA ELEMENTAL in a 2 minute one-sided duel.
MICHELE CLOUGH was handily defeated by CHRIS PERRY in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
ANTOINE L'JOI was subdued by STIFFLER in a popular 3 minute novice's bout.
MALT handily defeated SAMGLANT in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
HOPS was outlasted by TWO in a exciting 7 minute novice's bout.
CHOLORA slimly won victory over THREE in a 2 minute brutal amateur's fight.
RICO SUAVE won victory over ITHYIC THING in a 2 minute beginner's contest.
CAPTAIN KIRK overpowered BEAR HUG in a 2 minute mismatched duel.
SISTER SAM overpowered FIVE in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
SWAMP MUDD HAMMER delivered the death blow upon MR ROPER in a 1 minute battle.
SWAMP FOX HAMMER was defeated by RAY MONROE in a 2 minute brawl.
PUDDY outwaited BEARCLAW in a crowd pleasing 7 minute beginner's melee.
JOHNATHAN THOMPSON demolished GRIM JACK in a 1 minute uneven match.
MICE CREAM savagely defeated VLADIMIR in a action packed 3 minute gruesome duel.
YELLOW SNOW CONE defeated TOO $HORT in a 4 minute amateur's competition.
CHRIS TURNER was demolished by ASYLUM in a 2 minute mismatched battle.
PAIN KILLER was beaten by TIC-TAC in a 1 minute beginner's contest.
ABANDON HOPE was handily defeated by JIM BOB in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LOST SOUL was overpowered by BONEBREAKER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
WILLIE THE JANITOR bested DAYS-R-#'ERD in a crowd pleasing 3 minute beginner's match.
SWAMP BOGG HAMMER vanquished ONE in a 2 minute brutal uneven duel.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK 35 WALL OF STEEL 66 - 35 - 4 65 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 31 AIMED BLOW 44 - 30 - 5 59 |
|TOTAL PARRY 30 TOTAL PARRY 104 - 78 - 5 57 |
|BASHING ATTACK 25 PARRY-LUNGE 27 - 24 - 2 53 |
|WALL OF STEEL 22 STRIKING ATTACK 91 - 105 - 8 46 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 15 SLASHING ATTACK 40 - 52 - 3 43 |
|AIMED BLOW 13 LUNGING ATTACK 78 - 105 - 8 43 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 11 PARRY-STRIKE 28 - 44 - 0 39 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 10 BASHING ATTACK 46 - 101 - 5 31 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 9 - 23 - 0 28 |
Turn 246 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
WALL OF STEEL 15 - 7 AIMED BLOW 6 - 7 4 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 4 LUNGING ATTACK 14 - 17 2 TOTAL PARRY
SLASHING ATTACK 9 - 6 STRIKING ATTACK 14 - 21 2 LUNGING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 18 - 12 BASHING ATTACK 10 - 15 1 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-STRIKE 4 - 7 1 PARRY-LUNGE
PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 5 1 WALL OF STEEL
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY SISTER MARY SARAH 5137 22 3 0 128 OLD HABITS (566)
STRIKING ATTACK PROHIBITION 5607 14 12 0 122 INDIFFERENCE (611)
LUNGING ATTACK HUMBUG 5199 22 16 1 111 LAND OF OZ (217)
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
PARRY-LUNGE SISTER SLEDGE 5341 12 3 1 104 OLD HABITS (566)
WALL OF STEEL ORC PLAGUE 5501 9 4 2 96 DARQUE FORCES (396)
SLASHING ATTACK LAST CALL 5606 12 11 0 94 INDIFFERENCE (611)
BASHING ATTACK SWAMP BURP HAMMER 5439 14 13 2 85 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
PARRY-STRIKE CRYPT ANGEL 5553 10 9 1 75 SALEM'S LOT (605)
AIMED BLOW NIGHTCRAWLER 6237 7 4 1 49 X-MEN II (660)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is HUMBUG 5199. The most popular warrior this turn was
OPAI 5735. The ten other most popular fighters were HOPS 6242, SPECTRE 5654, CUP OF
TOE 5433, HELLITH 6195, BEARCLAW 6315, MICE CREAM 6265, RACECAR 5498, CLIFF 6226, DON
KING 5374, and DA TING 5129.
The least popular fighter this week was MY PILLOW 5660. The other ten least popular
fighters were JACK & JILL 5310, SUCULANT 3589, LONELY SON 5882, MEDUSA 6204, FRASIER
6224, DRAMA QUEEN 5494, YELLOW SNOW CONE 6266, PUDDY 6295, HELLFYRE 6247, and UFALIN
6272.