Date   : 09/29/2009    Duedate: 10/26/2009


DM-47    TURN-281

This Weeks Top Honors


(47-5642) [30-10-0,137]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MEDEE                          POSITION IS EMPTY
THE OPERA (613)                
(47-5642) [30-10-0,137]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

(47-6306) [13-21-0,64]         (47-361) [14-13-1,90]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. INDIFFERENCE (611)          28
2. ABYSMAL RITES (215)         27      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. THE BEAR'S PAW (150)        23      Unchartered Team
4. THE OPERA (613)             21
5. DEVIATION (708)             21      SICARI (678)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 2 OLD HABITS (566)         129  70  9 64.8   1/ 1 THE OPERA (613)          12  2 0
 2- 3 KAOS (695)                32  18  0 64.0   2/ 2 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     11  2 3
 3/ 4 LAND OF OZ (217)         578 366 18 61.2   3/ 4 LAND OF OZ (217)          8  3 1
 4/ 5 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   336 221 25 60.3   4/ 3 DARQUE FORCES (396)       6  5 0
 5/ 6 THE OPERA (613)          117  78  3 60.0   5/14 DEVIATION (708)           6  9 0
 6- 7 SPOONERTIKS (523)        151 104  8 59.2   6/16 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)   6  9 0
 7/ 8 SECOND BANANAS (573)     186 131 18 58.7   7-10 THE FALLEN (696)          5  0 1
 8/ 9 DEVIATION (708)           68  51  1 57.1   8/11 INDIFFERENCE (611)        5  3 1
 9/10 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   93  72  6 56.4   9- 6 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          5  5 0
10-11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         723 572 38 55.8  10/ 7 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)    5 10 0
11-12 THE FALLEN (696)          30  24  3 55.6  11- 5 KAOS (695)                4  0 0
12/13 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     64  52  3 55.2  12/13 WARHAMMERS (75)           4  5 1
13/14 DARQUE FORCES (396)      168 148 14 53.2  13/ 8 RAPTOR (674)              4 11 0
14/15 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)     449 407 44 52.5  14-17 OLD HABITS (566)          3  1 0
15-16 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     78  77  5 50.3  15/18 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    3  3 0
16/17 ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)  137 136  8 50.2  16/20 ABYSMAL RITES (215)       3  4 0
17-18 FORCE OF WILL (670)       42  43  4 49.4  17/ 9 SECOND BANANAS (573)      3  9 0
18/19 INDIFFERENCE (611)       120 123 10 49.4  18-19 OF WOLF AND MAN (603)     2  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0 NEW CENTURIONS (56)       60  62  3 49.2  19/28 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     2  2 0
20-20 CHEERS (659)              41  47  2 46.6  20-25 CHEERS (659)              1  2 0
21-21 AN EPHRAIM (32)          178 212 17 45.6  21-21 AN EPHRAIM (32)           1  4 0
22/22 RAPTOR (674)              57  69  2 45.2  22/24 THINGS I DROOL IN (614)   1  4 0
23/23 WARHAMMERS (75)          297 379 15 43.9  23-22 FORCE OF WILL (670)       1  4 0
24/24 ABYSMAL RITES (215)       70  90  3 43.8  24-15 SPOONERTIKS (523)         1  4 0
25/26 THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)   121 190  2 38.9  25/26*SICARI (678)              0  6 0
26/27*SICARI (678)               0   6  0  0.0  26-27*THE SKULLS (705)          0  2 0
27-28*THE SKULLS (705)           0   3  0  0.0  27/ 0 NEW CENTURIONS (56)       0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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     Ruby slippers.  If I only had a brain.  We're not in Kansas, anymore.  I'll get
you, My Pretty, and your little dog, too.  Pay no attention to the man behind the
curtain.  That's just the tip of a pop-culture iceberg, a towering mountain of
nostalgia and influence that rises above most movie fare in a time when the majority
of entertainment seems fairly disposable.
     On Aug. 25, 1939, "The Wizard of Oz" was released into theatres nationwide and
began its not-so-classic journey toward classic status.
     Now, 70 years later, the echoes of Oz continue to reach into all corners of
filmmaking and pop culture in general, from the iconic "Star Wars" characters Chewie
and C-3PO to frequent references on ABC's "Lost," from adaptations for upcoming
graphic novels to mysterious ties to Pink Floyd.
                                  Stormy beginnings.
     Before digging too deeply into the film's influence, it's helpful to remember
that "Oz" wasn't immediately and universally acclaimed as an instant classic.  The
movie, based on the L. Frank Baum 1900 novel "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz," had
already seen a couple of screen adaptations, and much tinkering was done with the
script of what would become the 1939 version.  Filming was also afflicted with
numerous difficulties, including the illness and withdrawal of original Tin Man,
Buddy Ebsen, a rotating series of directors, and on-set injuries to Margaret Hamilton
(she was burned during the witch's appearance in a column of smoke).
     The film turned out to be marginally profitable upon its release, and was well-
nominated by the Academy.  Though it failed to lock up best picture (which went to
studio mate "Gone with the Wind"), it took best song ("Over the Rainbow"), best
score, and best performances by a juvenile, a special award for Judy Garland for her
work in both "Oz" and "Babes in Arms."
     It wasn't until 10 years later, upon its 1949 re-release in theatres, that the
film generated what was considered a successful amount of money.  It also generated
more notice, causing people to reconsider the greatness of the film.
     For much of America, the real arrival of "The Wizard of Oz" came when the film
began appearing on broadcast television.  Debuting in 1956, it drew over 45 million
viewers.  Three years later, it began running as an annual event; with only one
interruption (the regular holiday showing in 1963 was skipped as the United States
mourned the loss of President John F. Kennedy), "The Wizard of Oz" continued its
once-a-year showings until 1991.  Now under the control of the Turner Networks, "The
Wizard of Oz" airs slightly more frequently, typically around major holidays.
                                 Building a mystique.
     However, it was under the pre-home video market "annual viewing" days that the
film really built its sphere of influence.  Showings of the film were considered an
event, a rare treat that you had to wait once a year to see.  It's hard for young
people to conceptualize that in today's downloadable, on-demand culture, but that
sense of waiting had an undeniable effect on how "special" the film was perceived to
     Another piece of the allure of "Oz" is that it enchanted young viewers, but also
occasionally terrified them.  Margaret Hamilton's Wicked Witch of the West can stake
ownership of a good number of nightmares over the past seven decades.  In a way, that
made the fantasy of "Oz" a little more real to the audience; yes, there were Lollipop
Guilds and flying monkeys, but the enchanted land could be dangerous.  That set "Oz"
apart from a number of films, and even earned it a spot on Bravo TV's "100 Scariest
Movie Moments" (No. 86) in 2004.
     The songs, the visuals and, simply, the story kept bringing the audiences back.
And certain young members of that audience would not only never forget what they saw,
but be profoundly influenced by it.
                                 Echoes across time.
     One such artist is David Lynch.  Known for surrealist film and television that
often breaks the line between what is considered reality the world of dreams, Lynch
has often evoked themes and moments from "Oz."  His most overt homage came in "Wild
at Heart," which won the Palm d'Or at Cannes in 1990.  Not only does the film include
references to touchstones like the Yellow Brick Road and ruby slippers (as when Laura
Dern clicks her heels together after a nightmarish encounter with Willem Dafoe's
character), Nicolas Cage's character Sailor is literally told to chase down his true
love Dern by a vision of Glenda the Good Witch.
     John Boorman's cult classic science-fiction film "Zardoz" (1974)boasts a pretty
big association.  The name for the floating god-head at the center of the story is
derived from a mash-up of the words "Wizard" and "Oz," a visual pun that also plays
into that movie's themes of a civilization being manipulated by an outside force.
The implication is that the pilot of the god-head actually got the idea for his plot
from the story of Oz.
     Casting our science-fiction net a little wider, it's pretty easy to see
reflections of Oz in "Star Wars."  True, we know that much of the story is a team-up
of Akira Kurosawa's "Hidden Fortress" and John Ford's "The Searchers," but there's a
lot of Oz on display.  Luke Skywalker has a lot in common with Dorothy Gale, as both
live on farms with big dreams of seeing what else is out there.  Several of Luke'
companions mirror Dorothy's in particular ways.  Chewbacca, of course, is their own
Cowardly Lion (if you doubt that, remember how Chewie acted around the trash
compactor?).  C-3PO is a stand-in for the Tin Man, with his habit of losing limbs
subbing in for the Tin Man's inconvenient rusting.  You could say that Han Solo was
the one who had to find his heart.
     The villains of the Star Wars universe have a bit in common with Oz.  What's the
Death Star but a dark fortress?  How about armies of identical soldiers, or
bushwhacking those soldiers so that the heroes can dress in their outfits to rescue a
damsel held hostage?  We know that Vader's complicated (maybe he's the Tin Man who
has to find his heart in "Jedi"), but the Emperor is definitely cut from the same
black cloth as the Wicked Witch (and the Wicked Queen from Snow White for that
matter).  And, of course, there's that Jedi habit of leaving nothing but a pile of
robes behind without ever needing a bucket of water.
     Stepping back from film for a bit, one of the most infamous associations with Oz
actually draws from Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album.  Legend had it that
if you began to play it at the "third roar of the MGM Lion" at the start of the film,
the music would perfectly match the action on the screen.  The story became so
popular that Turner Classic Movies actually aired a broadcast of the film in 2000
with "Dark Side" playing.  The members of the Floyd have always denied that any
connection was intentional, although it is amusing to think of Roger Waters sitting
with his bass, intently watching a playback of the film, ready to write a new song.
In terms of general dialogue, it's very hard to escape Oz.  Lines from the film are
so pervasive in pop culture that they're freely quoted almost without a second
thought.  Television series like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" repeatedly referenced the
film (in fact, the nickname of Seth Green's werewolf character Daniel Osbourne was,
of course, Oz). It's almost impossible to chart the density of those references, but
it's safe to assume that "The Wizard of Oz" is one of the most frequently quoted
films in history.
     We'd be ignoring a pair of significant Oz descendents if we didn't also mention
two direct tributes: the novel "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the
West" by Gregory Maguire, and the Broadway musical that it inspired.  The novel is a
revisionist take on the Witch's life, casting her as the put-upon protagonist.  The
musical, more upbeat than the novel, is reportedly set for film in 2010.
     The "Wicked" books are far from the only Oz descended novels out there.  Among
numerous others, writer Eric Shanower has written a number of novels set in Oz.
Recently, he's been scripting "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" and "The Marvelous Land of
Oz" for Marvel Comics' line of graphic novel adaptations, illustrated by artist
Skottie Young.  "Lost in Oz."
     Perhaps the loudest echoes of Oz being heard in popular culture these days would
be on ABC's "Lost."  Well-known as a show that draws ideas and references from the
entire entertainment continuum, "Lost" has returned to the Land with noticeable
frequency.  One of the most infamous moments was when the castaways discovered a man
in the jungle who told them that his name was "Henry Gale" (a nod to Dorothy's
uncle).  Later, amid the ruins of a shredded balloon, the characters discovered
evidence that he was lying; "Henry Gale" turned out to be Benjamin Linus, the man
who from that point has been the series' major villain.
     "Lost" also cheerfully invokes Oz for the titles of important episodes.  The
shadowy leader of The Others known as Jacob figured heavily in the episode "The Man
Behind the Curtain," while the two-part finale of season 4 was called "There's No
Place Like Home."  Of course, this all makes sense in terms of the show's
preoccupation with the characters being trapped in type of deadly fantasy land (it
often references "Alice in Wonderland" as well), but the deliberate uses of things
like Henry Gale show that the creators paid quite a bit of attention to the marvelous
     These are but a few of the literally hundreds of examples of how the film
remains vibrantly alive in the minds of the world today.  Though the movie first hit
home video in 1980, it still remains a potent TV draw.  Its overall influence is
perhaps incalculable, as we quote the film in daily conversation and artists from all
walks of entertainment continue to reference, reinterpret and revere the movie.  In
the span of 70 years, "The Wizard of Oz" has gone from a film that needed a re-
release to be profitable to a veritable institution.  It's refreshing that we can
still find things that last in a culture of disposable entertainment.  The truly
impressive thing is that television airings continue, updated DVDs are regularly
released, and millions of children yet to be inspired by Dorothy, amused by the Lion,
or terrified by the Witch will one day have the opportunity to learn what it means to
follow the Yellow Brick Road.  Happy anniversary, "Wizard of Oz"; it was a dream, and
we were all there.

2009 Newsarama.com. All rights reserved.

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                                        Part V

     Something was seriously awry.  Ebonariex paced the length of his cavernous
"lair," muttering and shaking his head.  Numerous arcane lights and flames danced
around the chamber, each illuminating its own unique mystery.  In the light of this
multihued kaleidoscope, his draconic shadow danced fitfully across walls crisscrossed
with maps and mystic scrawling.  Magic and its workings were the target of his
"dragon greed," something he readily accepted and reveled in.  Objects and writings
both marvelous and trivial were arranged in orderly fashion throughout the length of
this cavern, each carefully catalogued and shelved.
     Ebonariex came to a sudden halt, his eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring.  "I've
warned you not to disturb me here," the words were growled so low as to be almost
     Striding in from the cavern's end, a pale warrior armed in classic Norse regalia
saluted smartly before coming to a halt.  "I was told the matter was urgent, and one
does not question Nomandatter."
     Ebonariex turned to face the intruder.  "One does not question ME," his
surprisingly quick stride brought him within a foot of the warrior before he could
respond, "you may be newly awakened, but that is one rule you will learn swiftly."
     The strange warrior stepped back a few paces.  His expression implied that the
point had been made, but he fumbled for a cylindrical case clipped to his waist.
"I... I was told that you must be given this... that it, uh," the Northwight
swallowed loudly and lifted the sealed scroll case toward Ebonariex, "that it must
not be given to ANY other."
     Ebonariex shook his head in annoyance.  "Then I apologize for my abruptness," he
snatched the case, "but you will learn that it is far from wise to interrupt a dragon
in his home," he gestured to the surroundings.  "Your manager I may be, but I am
STILL a dragon."
     The warrior swallowed loudly and stepped back a few more feet.  "Uh, yes, sir, I
mean, uh...."
     Ebonariex jabbed a taloned finger toward the exit.  "Leave, before you make a
greater fool of yourself."
     As the warrior scrambled for the exit, Ebonariex cracked the case's seal.
*Strange, I didn't know Michael had need of another of Hel's souls yet.*  Careful not
to damage the fragile parchment, he removed the scroll with surprisingly deft hands.
*I suppose the Slaughterhouse must have claimed another.*  Unfurling the scroll, he
couldn't help a moment of confusion.  The handwriting was obviously not Michael's
fluid script.  It took only a few seconds for his draconic mind to grasp the
implications, and by then the trap was closing.  *If Michael didn't write this, then
that wasn't his messenger, and since he controls the Niflheim rift, one of Hel's
minions should NOT have borne this message!*
     Ebonariex swiveled to find where the "messenger" had gone, but already matters
were spinning out of control.  His lair seemed to be contracting around him, and he
knew innately that a very powerful form of magical inversion was being enacted.
*Someone's twisting my wards!*  Fast as thought, he began invoking the keys necessary
to shatter his own abjurant fields.  At the same time, his hands flew through an
intricate series of gestures, summoning numerous bits of magical paraphernalia--
rings, rods, spell-matrix gemstones.  The entire cavern began to tremble as small
fragments of stone tumbled free of the vaulted ceiling.
     "MINE!  This sanctuary is MINE, and you will not usurp it!"  Ebonariex's form
began to swell, his near incoherent rage making it difficult to maintain his humanoid
form.  "Show yourself, coward!  Show yourself, and we will see who is master of THIS
     As Ebonariex systematically shattered his own rebelling wards, the all-but-
forgotten scroll was undergoing a sinister transformation.  Jagged black script
flowed smoothly from the parchment, squiggling across the floor in a disturbingly
intentional manner.  As Ebonariex's roars reached a crescendo, the now scarlet-tinged
"ink" formed a sinister circle of infernal phrases and precise geometric angles.
With a sulphurous puff, the outer ring of symbols flared into life.
     Ebonariex was channeling every ounce of his draconic being to stem the tide of
his mutinous wards.  They had been designed with the express purpose of preventing
draconic access, and whatever else he had become, he was still a dragon.  If the
wards had inverted simultaneously, he would have been helpless before them, but
thankfully they were flipping in an almost domino-like manner.  The draconic mind is
a marvelous thing, and while he had no time to spare for idle speculation, a nagging
thought still surfaced.  *If whoever did this had the power to turn my wards... why
not all at once?*  Crushing a spell matrix, he tore one of the deadlier wards apart.
*It's almost as if someone WANTS me to breach these wards.*  No sooner had the
thought occurred than he sensed the presence of another.
     Half-mad with power, and now more dragon than not, Ebonariex whirled to face
this new threat.  What greeted him, wearing a mocking smile, did nothing to calm his
near-crazed state.  *Anthraxilariss!*
     Towering nearly twelve feet tall, the fiendish half-dragon's scales glinted a
scarlet-tinged ebony in the flickering arcane light.  "My, my, Ebonariex, that's
quite the light show you're putting on," she parted her lips in a terrible grin and
tapped her chin thoughtfully.  "Pity it's all for naught."
     Ebonariex stood frozen in shock as the last of his cascading wards slammed into
place.  It didn't matter now.  His eyes drifted to the now-blank parchment which he
had so carelessly tossed aside, before slowly returning his focus to the intruder.
He'd been duped, and now a greater portion of his magical power was drained.  It
would be hours before his full strength returned.
     Anthraxilariss stepped daintily across the still-smoking symbols that surrounded
her.  "Don't look so distraught, I've no wish to KILL you, Ebonariex," she swayed
toward one of his display tables, absently caressing a silver atheme before looking
coyly over her shoulder, "or should I call you 'Father'?"
     Ebonariex flinched involuntarily.  "Call me what you will," his voice was hoarse
from shouting and thick with emotion, "but you are NO daughter of mine!"
     Anthraxilariss's smoky laugh rang out in the ensuing silence.  "My brother was a
fool, Father, and you yourself gave us our challenge," she pirouetted before assuming
a deadly serious expression.  "I did what I HAD to, Father."
     The contempt in her voice was unmistakable, but Ebonariex knew the truth.  Her
nature had betrayed her.  Evil was inherent to his draconic bloodlines, and though
he'd had seven children, he'd hoped to guide them down a path that would allow them
to overcome that blood.  With Michael's help HE had done it, and he'd sought the same
for his children.  Three had died early, but the other four--three male and one
female--had shown true promise.  His youngest had become a respected mercenary
commander, and another had opened a chain of profitable taverns.  It was his eldest
and his only girl who'd shown the greatest promise.  Locked in their human forms, as
all his children had been, they'd progressed admirably as apprentices to a very
respectable old mage.  His eldest excelled, and then shocked even Ebonariex when he
earned the mantle of Arcane Devotee to the god of Justice.  Not only had he overcome
his evil blood, he'd become a champion of righteousness!  Anthraxilariss had seemed
ecstatic and pleaded for him to visit her newly constructed tower.  She was becoming
quite the sorceress herself, though she had a reputation of being somewhat ruthless.
Morchandium, his son, accepted his sister's invitation.  To this day, Ebonariex knew
not what had transpired in that tower.  Only the evidence of his son's brutal death,
and the ascendance of Anthraxilariss's fiendish power remained to tell the story.
     With a sudden burst of speed, Ebonariex lunged for his daughter, teeth bared and
talons glinting.  She easily rolled to the side of the attack, and his momentum
carried him into the table she'd stood before.  As the black oak splintered beneath
his weight, he snatched a pure teardrop shaped crystal from a shattered compartment.
*Lich's tear.*  The thought was a chill one.  Only the most powerful spell-matrixes
required this sort of gem, and he had never determined what this particular one
     Anthrax let loose a blast of brimstone scented fire.  "Father, you have no idea
how long I've wanted to do this," her voice was an unnatural hiss, "you will die a
thousand deaths for the disgrace you brought upon me."
     Ebonariex had already begun the necessary concentration to free the spell-
matrix, but hellfire was something he had no defense for in his weakened state.  *I
can't keep this up for long.  If she realizes just how weakened I am....*  Gritting
his teeth against the pain, he continued to unlock the matrix.  *Just a few more
seconds, oh daughter of mine.*  He ducked behind another table, snatching up a
merfolk war-trident simply because it was near.  *Got to keep her hesitant.*
Anthraxilariss laughed maniacally, fire gouting from her fingertips in an endless
stream, "Father, for all your lofted power, you have nothing to counter simple fire?"
Her laughter had gained a decidedly lunatic tinge, "Let's see how you manage THIS?"
Ebonariex had a fleeting impression of massive wrenching force, and with a final
desperate effort, he crushed the spell-matrix.  The horrendous sounds of splintered
bone and torn flesh followed him into darkness.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Oh, hi.  Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte.  Thought I'd check out SCOMSS SWAMP to 
see what's new.  I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings or anything, but SPOONERTIKS 
really goofed with their 0-0-0.  Cut this out and put it in your scrapbooks, ABYSMAL 
RITES!  'Cause they got 3-1-0 and moved up to 16th!  MVP award for SPARROW?  RAPTOR's 
proud of her after beating RERUN and getting 17 points.  Talk about yer big time 
losers!  RERUN got smashed by SPARROW, and lost 15 points!  This Duelmaster is like 
something else!  MEDEE stopped DAKION dead in his tracks!  Who was the wiseguy that 
said SCOMSS SWAMP's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The Dripping Blade?  Don't 
look at me!   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  THE OPERA was the most avoided team.  Is a 117-78-3 
record really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are LAND OF OZ?  THE OPERA, 
an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Can 
DARQUE FORCES' BOGBANE be more popular than me?  He was challenged the most, but is 
that really the same?  See if I ever talk to SPECTRE again!  ROIS ANIN was so low 
when She challenged she.  Hhmph!  Is this how GOTHIC MINISTRY advances, by having 
their members (SPECTRE) fight people that are really below them (ROIS ANIN)?  SUN 
BEAR is being unfair.  It's challenged down 17 against SHOTAN.  I don't know why they 
let this stuff go on.  (I'd better shut up) SUN BEAR beat SHOTAN.  No surprise about 
that.  Really I'm not surprised SUN BEAR would do such a scummy thing, either.  For 
sure, I was holding my breath when I found out RAZOR  challenged SWAMP TURF HAMMER.  
After all, haven't RAPTOR and ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ had a long standing duel in SCOMSS 
SWAMP?  It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but SWAMP TURF HAMMER wants me to 
write about it since she won victory over RAZOR.  Satisfied?   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Pinch me, I must be dreaming!!!  KODIAK returns from the Dark Arena, 
maybe a "little upset" at hers THE BEAR'S PAW teammates...  Everyone has problems, 
but why did INDIFFERENCE send JOE-SIX to the Dark Arena?  He had a 4-0-0, and I 
thought he looked neat on the sands...  I was SO depressed when I heard YOURBAGD 
FOREVER got killed.  She was just a kid, and didn't get a fair chance in SCOMSS 
SWAMP, or anything!  What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a 
job, that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it 
quits.  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MEDEE 5642                   30  10  0   137       THE OPERA (613)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-THE LION KING 6360           18   7  0   122       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-WINKIE 6401                  16   8  2   120       LAND OF OZ (217)
-VYNMORGATH 6646               7   1  0   116       KAOS (695)
 SPARROW 6411                 14  11  0   114       RAPTOR (674)
-MOTHER THERESA 5136           7   1  0   113       OLD HABITS (566)
-ITHYIC THING 6292            12  12  0   108       ABYSMAL RITES (215)
-SALSA ELEMENTAL 6312         12   6  0   106       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 SPECTRE 5654                 14   9  1   101       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          10   9  0    97       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-GIMLI 362                    13  14  0    91       NEW CENTURIONS (56)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAKION 361                   14  13  1    90       NEW CENTURIONS (56)
 RERUN 6651                   10   3  0    89       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 RONDOL QUIGLO 4978           16  22  0    88       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
-TEN LORDS ALEAPIN 6433       14  10  1    87       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-SEB WITE 6668                 9   3  0    87       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-MICE CREAM 6265              12   4  1    86       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-AFRICAN QUEEN 6424           11  11  0    81       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-SISTER MARYJANE 6416         14   0  0    77       OLD HABITS (566)
-OBESE CAT 6695                7   4  0    77       KAOS (695)
 PROWL 6460                    6   5  0    77       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-MY SHADOW 6649                6   2  0    77       KAOS (695)
 SMOKEY BEAR 6354             18  15  1    75       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 BAD NEWS BEAR 6486           16   9  0    75       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-KURGER BING 6669              9   3  0    75       SPOONERTIKS (523)
-TARZAN 5542                  10  16  1    74       AN EPHRAIM (32)
 ROIS ANIN 6068               14  22  1    73       WARHAMMERS (75)
-FRASIER 6224                 12   7  0    71       CHEERS (659)
 BOGBANE 5500                 13  16  1    70       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-DEMONIC HEX 5530             14   7  0    68       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 A TALE OF PAIN 6531           9   2  0    67       ABYSMAL RITES (215)
-JACK KNIFE 6694               8   3  0    67       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KORTALIA 6365                 9   8  3    66       FORCE OF WILL (670)
-FGC 6648                      7   4  0    66       KAOS (695)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SWAMP BOGG HAMMER 6306       13  21  0    64       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 SWAMP TURF HAMMER 6565       10   8  0    64       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 BUMBLEBEE 6436                5   5  0    63       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-ATTERY 6705                   7   2  0    62       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 NIN QUIRE 5281               10  12  0    61       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 NIGHTSHADE 6536              11   8  1    60       RAPTOR (674)
 XXL 6178                     10   6  1    60       INDIFFERENCE (611)
-EARVLING KLASH 6547          10   6  1    59       FORCE OF WILL (670)
 DEATH KISS 5751              12   7  1    58       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 AGARIC 6509                  12  11  0    58       WARHAMMERS (75)
-FLAVIUS 772                  10   8  0    58       NEW CENTURIONS (56)
-MARCUS 815                   11   8  0    57       NEW CENTURIONS (56)
-NORM 6227                     6  12  1    57       CHEERS (659)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CARLA 6225                    8  10  0    54       CHEERS (659)
-GADREEL 6659                  6   5  1    54       THE FALLEN (696)
 SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE 6934      6   0  0    54       THE OPERA (613)
-PENEMUE 6657                  8   3  0    53       THE FALLEN (696)
-PARIAH 6364                  11   6  0    51       FORCE OF WILL (670)
-STINGO RARR 6507              9  10  0    51       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 FLOUR CHILD 6869              6   4  0    50       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-SISTER MARY-KATE 6491         5   3  0    49       OLD HABITS (566)
-SPARTACUS 773                10   7  1    45       NEW CENTURIONS (56)
 DAFNE 6899                    7   2  0    45       THE OPERA (613)
-LUMINOUS LOX 6495             7   6  0    44       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 KANA BALLISTIC 6976           5   3  0    44       DEVIATION (708)
-SISTER BERNICE 6485           5   5  1    42       OLD HABITS (566)
-PFM 6645                      5   6  0    41       KAOS (695)
 SWAMP MOSS HAMMER 6567       11   7  0    40       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 BARNEY BEAR 6512             10  10  0    40       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
-MOLOCH 6888                   4   2  1    40       THE FALLEN (696)
 AGOSERIS 6709                 5   6  1    39       WARHAMMERS (75)
-ORCO 6583                     4   5  0    38       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
 SWAMP BURN HAMMER 6566        9   9  0    36       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
 GOLDEN CAP 6890               6   3  0    36       LAND OF OZ (217)
 EMILEI LOIT MATCHES 6710      3   6  0    36       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)
 RAZOR 6573                    6  10  0    35       RAPTOR (674)
-LATKA 6940                    3   1  0    35       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ASBEEL 6660                   7   4  0    32       THE FALLEN (696)
 KISS OF DEATH 6977            5   4  0    32       DEVIATION (708)
 STRAFE 6693                   6   6  0    31       RAPTOR (674)
-PAUL 6861                     3   1  0    30       CHEERS (659)
 SWAMP SONG HAMMER 6860        7   3  0    29       ALL SWAMP HAMMERZ (594)
-CHRONALISS 6672               4   8  0    28       FORCE OF WILL (670)
-ASPHYXIA 6330                 4   4  0    27       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 TWISTER SISTER 6984           2   1  0    27       DEVIATION (708)
 EVISCERATE 6935               4   2  0    26       RAPTOR (674)
 SUN BEAR 6965                 3   0  2    26       THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
 SHUFFLE 6938                  2   1  1    26       INDIFFERENCE (611)
-GAUNTLYN 6363                 4  13  0    25       FORCE OF WILL (670)
-PUCK 5919                     3   8  0    25       AN EPHRAIM (32)
 CUPS 6614                     4   5  1    24       THINGS I DROOL IN (614)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BLUSHING CROW 6846            2   6  0    23       SPOONERTIKS (523)
 SONNY URK 6827                4   9  0    21       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 BLIGHT'S BURDEN 6903          1   3  0    20       ABYSMAL RITES (215)
 HILROC IBBINS 6875            4   7  0    19       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)
 BASKET 6956                   3   1  0    18       LAND OF OZ (217)
 VELMA XAVIL 6828              1  12  0    15       THE MIDDLE WAY 3 (506)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GIZMO 6941                    1   1  0    15       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-MOTHER MAYI 6966              0   1  0    13       OLD HABITS (566)
-ASTER 6667                    2   1  0    12       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
-ACE OF BASE 6905              0   4  0    12       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-TREE ANEMONE 6985             1   0  0    10       AN EPHRAIM (32)
-LANFEAR 6986                  1   0  1     9       THE FALLEN (696)
 JUDGEMENT DAY 6973            1   3  0     8       DEVIATION (708)
-UNFORGIVEN 6958               1   0  0     7       OF WOLF AND MAN (603)
-EASY CHEESY 6902              1   3  0     6       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 LIMPER 7003                   1   0  0     5       ABYSMAL RITES (215)
 BLOOD ON THE SUN 6971         0   3  0     5       DEVIATION (708)
-TRENT 6946                    0   2  0     2       THE SKULLS (705)
 SIMONGO 6458                  0   1  0     1       SICARI (678)
-THISTLE MAN 6959              0   1  0     1       AN EPHRAIM (32)
 LILI 6457                     0   1  0     1       SICARI (678)
-ALEXIS 6943                   0   1  0     1       THE SKULLS (705)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
FOUR ARMS 6697          4  4 1 INDIFFERENCE 611     DWAYNE THE DOG        281  NONE
JOE-SIX 6937            4  1 0 INDIFFERENCE 611     DWAYNE THE DOG        281  NONE
PROFESSOR MARVEL 6891   4  4 0 LAND OF OZ 217       AGOSERIS 6709         280   
215121117117 7007       0  1 0 SECOND BANANAS 573   DARQUE BEAST          281  NONE
NOX NECO 6459           0  1 0 SICARI 678           SUN BEAR 6965         280   
SHOTAN 6456             0  2 0 SICARI 678           SUN BEAR 6965         281   
BAAL 6907               2  2 0 THE FALLEN 696       SHUFFLE 6938          277  REVENGED
YOURBAGD FOREVER 6968   2  1 0 THE OPERA 613        XXL 6178              281   
GUTTER DRAINS 6998      0  1 0 THINGS I DROOL I 614 NEUTERED KAT          281  NONE
THE DROOLYMPICS 6910    1  1 0 THINGS I DROOL I 614 TRIPWHINE 6923        278   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Congrats to Duelmaster Medee. -- Oz The All Covetous

Old Habits?  Gone to a retreat?  Vacated the DM?  Must be some big Reconciliation
going on! -- Oz The All Curious

Sorry to deviate on your plans, Kiss Of Death.  Thanks for the challenge, though.
Bwahahahahahah. -- Golden Cap

To the DA's own Omnipotent Oz, you weren't so omnipotent, now, were you? -- China
Milkmaid, celebrating her DA win

Velma Xavil -- I am glad you were not a basket-case like Prof Marvel this turn! --

Agoseris and The Warhammers -- Professor Marvel may not have been much to most, but
he was an Ozer, so, I am not at all happy about his death.  You rascals! -- Oz The
All Grieving

Info from The Land Of Oz ....
Professor Marvel was a 9-16-7-11-16-7-8  TP bumped to 11-17-17-11-17-7-9, and was an
okay performer.  He is DEAD.
China Milkmaid was an 11(+1)-6-10-21-17-5-15 ST who brilliantly performed to 13-2-1
(1DM) in the arena and 26-15-1 (2TV) in tournaments.  She was +4 Init, +3 Decise, and
good damage at 10/10.  She had 1 admaster, 3 masters, and 2 experts.  Her faves were
HA--VLO/MOD--Lunge and Init Tactics. -- Oz The All Knowing

Agoseris -- We WANT you! -- All us Ozers.

Eviscerate -- That sure was one savage fight... back and forth! -- Blood on the Sun

Swamp Moss Hammer -- Next time the outcome will be different! -- Kana Ballistic

Golden Cap -- You're a tough nut to crack. -- Kiss of Death

Swamp Song Hammer -- Down goes Frazier!  Down goes Frazier! -- Twister Sister

All -- I want to thank you all for a wonderful time.  Due to some unfortunate family
problems I will be disappearing fir a while.  My daughter and newborn granddaughter
have been in a battle with H1N1 and the hospital bills among other things will keep
me occupied for some time. -- Owlin the Wise
P.S.  I will try to stay involved in Hyborian War but make no promises.  God Bless

     Sad news, Owlin.  We hope your daughter and granddaughter get well soon and
     things work out for you! -- RSI

Bogbane -- I'm sure you'll do just fine being the bane of bogs.  But the arena sands
is (are?) very far from being a bog. -- Nin Quire

Basket -- A golem basket is horrible to contemplate.  An Ozzian Luggage, as it were?
I'll pass on this. -- Velma Xavil

Smokey Bear -- Ah, I bet you wish you were back in the woods around Capitan, just
hanging out.  Heck, so do I! -- Rondol Quiglo

Scomsss's Nightmare -- I'll second that. -- Sonny Urk

Yourbagd Forever -- More of a kayak if you ask me. -- Hilroc Ibbins

Lurking Fear -- It will do you no good to lurk in the dark corners of my mind,
because it's time for the autumn cleaning, and those corners will be scoured out. --

Our congratulations to Kodiak. -- Jorja and the Middle Way

Michael Eldritch!  The episode after this one appearing today is incomplete, being at
the end of the available text.  Time to send more. -- the Scribe

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KODIAK butchered LITTLE RAVEN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
FOUR ARMS was slaughtered by DWAYNE THE DOG in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
JOE-SIX was easily killed by DWAYNE THE DOG in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena match.
GUTTER DRAINS was slaughtered by NEUTERED KAT in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DA WITHOUT END was butchered by FABULOUS FATHER M in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
215121117117 was murdered by DARQUE BEAST in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
PROWL was bested by RONDOL QUIGLO in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
SPECTRE overpowered ROIS ANIN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
RERUN was overpowered by SPARROW in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
BOGBANE vanquished SWAMP BOGG HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
A TALE OF PAIN defeated NIN QUIRE in a popular 3 minute expert's Challenge duel.
EMILEI LOIT MATCHES was overpowered by AGARIC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
RAZOR was overpowered by SWAMP TURF HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DEATH KISS demolished AGOSERIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
BLIGHT'S BURDEN bested VELMA XAVIL in a exciting 2 minute Challenge battle.
CUPS was bested by SWAMP BURN HAMMER in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Challenge bout.
SUN BEAR easily killed SHOTAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
MEDEE luckily beat DAKION in a action packed 5 minute brutal expert's Title struggle.
SMOKEY BEAR bested BUMBLEBEE in a popular 4 minute master's brawl.
BAD NEWS BEAR beat NIGHTSHADE in a 2 minute veteran's match.
FLOUR CHILD overpowered CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE devastated STRAFE in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
XXL assassinated YOURBAGD FOREVER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BARNEY BEAR was savagely defeated by DAFNE in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fray.
SWAMP MOSS HAMMER was viciously subdued by KANA BALLISTIC in a exciting 3 minute bout.
TWISTER SISTER was defeated by GOLDEN CAP in a 4 minute novice vs. veteran duel.
HILROC IBBINS was vanquished by EVISCERATE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SWAMP SONG HAMMER demolished JUDGEMENT DAY in a 4 minute one-sided melee.
SONNY URK was vanquished by KISS OF DEATH in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BASKET outwaited BLOOD ON THE SUN in a unpopular 12 minute bout.
SHUFFLE vanquished LILI in a popular 1 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
LIMPER unbelievably bested SIMONGO in a 2 minute brutal novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         TOTAL PARRY      112 -  87 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         WALL OF STEEL     60 -  47 -  3      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         STRIKING ATTACK  124 - 107 -  8      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         AIMED BLOW        52 -  47 -  3      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  17 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   52 -  60 -  6      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         BASHING ATTACK    59 -  78 -  4      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         LUNGING ATTACK    69 - 100 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  29 -  0      31  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  16 -  0      16  |

Turn 281 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      3 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  6         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        8 -  2     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  5         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         2  SLASHING ATTACK
                              SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MEDEE 5642                 30  10  0  137 THE OPERA (613)
PARRY-STRIKE     SPARROW 6411               14  11  0  114 RAPTOR (674)
STRIKING ATTACK  SPECTRE 5654               14   9  1  101 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
LUNGING ATTACK   RERUN 6651                 10   3  0   89 SECOND BANANAS (573)
WALL OF STEEL    SMOKEY BEAR 6354           18  15  1   75 THE BEAR'S PAW (150)
BASHING ATTACK   NIGHTSHADE 6536            11   8  1   60 RAPTOR (674)
SLASHING ATTACK  XXL 6178                   10   6  1   60 INDIFFERENCE (611)
AIMED BLOW       AGARIC 6509                12  11  0   58 WARHAMMERS (75)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SWAMP BOGG HAMMER 6306.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was DAKION 361.  The ten other most popular fighters were CUPS 6614, NIN 
BEAR 6354, NIGHTSHADE 6536, MEDEE 5642, and BAD NEWS BEAR 6486.

The least popular fighter this week was BASKET 6956.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LILI 6457, SONNY URK 6827, SWAMP SONG HAMMER 6860, HILROC IBBINS 6875, 
6709, and RAZOR 6573.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

KODIAK (47-6487) THE BEAR'S PAW (150)