DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/10/2012    Duedate: 05/07/2012

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-314

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SPAWN
FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
(47-4283) [10-7-0,104]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ENDEMIC                        CRANE KNIGHT
BLACK LIGHTNING (738)          GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
(47-7265) [23-15-0,123]        (47-7524) [4-2-1,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ARSENIC                        TOFU WARRIOR
PURE POISON (478)              VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
(47-4285) [6-9-1,53]           (47-7223) [8-10-0,71]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. IN QETERNUM (718)           60
2. BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)       45      ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
3. ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)      42      Unchartered Team
4. OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)        38
5. GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)      34      GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    77  47  3 62.1   1/ 2 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)     11  4 3
 2/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         666 414 24 61.7   2/ 1 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)    10  5 2
 3- 3 OTTODROME TW (728)        44  28  3 61.1   3/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)          7  3 1
 4/ 5 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   340 228 25 59.9   4/ 4 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    7  7 1
 5/ 4 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     54  37  4 59.3   5/ 7 IN QETERNUM (718)         7  8 0
 6/ 6 THE OPERA (613)          135  93  4 59.2   6- 3 OTTODROME TW (728)        6  2 1
 7- 7 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     88  66  7 57.1   7/11 FAST FOOD (724)           6  5 1
 8/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         789 608 40 56.5   8/ 9 THE OPERA (613)           5  3 0
 9/ 9 FAST FOOD (724)           51  45  1 53.1   9/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          5  7 1
10/10 DARQUE FORCES (396)      222 201 17 52.5  10/ 5 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)     5  7 0
11/11 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      62  57  8 52.1  11/13 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     5 10 0
12/12 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)    170 161 12 51.4  12/ 0 PURE POISON (478)         4  1 1
13/15 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     31  39  2 44.3  13/12 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    4  7 0
14/16 WARHAMMERS (75)          338 429 17 44.1  14-15*SONS OF SET (746)         3  2 0
15/17*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    12  16  2 42.9  15/18*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    3  4 0
16-18 TORUS (32)               201 272 19 42.5  16/17 DARQUE FORCES (396)       3  7 0
17/19 IN QETERNUM (718)         50  70  5 41.7  17/ 0*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     2  3 1
18/ 0 PURE POISON (478)         34  48  5 41.5  18/ 0 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-20*SONS OF SET (746)          4   6  0 40.0  19/20*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)      2 13 0
20/ 0*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)      2   3  1 40.0  20-21*ASSASSINS GUILD (742)     1  1 0
21/ 0 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      30  54  2 35.7  21/22*HORNY GOAT X (750)        1  4 0
22-21*ASSASSINS GUILD (742)      9  18  1 33.3  22/10 WARHAMMERS (75)           1  4 0
23/22*HORNY GOAT X (750)         1   4  0 20.0  23-19 TORUS (32)                0  7 0
24/23*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)       2  18  0 10.0  24-23 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     0  4 0
25/ 0*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)    0   3  0  0.0  25/ 0*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                    KINGDOM COME

     As the last cinders of Marcus' funeral pyre rained its glowing embers onto the
sinking swamps of North For, Noble Discord (mgr., Glory Disciples) eulogized his
gladiatorial career.  "To the Harkenic hound of havoc.  May you attain the fruit of
glory earned from this life, and mark well those in your path hereafter."  Tankards
were filled, and the toasts farewell raised high.  When each was drained, to the pyre
remains were the tankards dashed.  Christos (the dwarven dread drifter of Daggerspine
Mts.; Glory Disciples gladiator) unbelted Marcus' tankard, filled it, and placed it
amidst the pyre ashes, dedicating it to Marcus.
     Bro'tor (the half crazy Andorian Half-Elf; Glory Disciples gladiator) unsheathed
his dagger, sliced into his hand, and committed a portion of himself to Marcus'
remains.  The sacred vow of bloodfeud was sworn against Marcus' slayer, against the
Shewish Giant gladiator known as Wrath, from the Obsidian Order stable.  This ritual
act was similarly taken up by Turk (the mighty nor'easter Karnhorn; Glory Disciples
gladiator), Dei-man (the Werecat Interceptor), and finally, Christos.
     Later that night, the group found themselves at a House dedicated to the
gladiator/battle god, Mantor the Bright, to renew their fighting spirits and petition
for blessings.  Their blessings came in the form of a young, wayward, 6'11" Frafrejan
battle priest, fresh in from Zensu.  He towered even over Turk (who looked up from
his 6'6" position).  His tight, curly red locks seemed to pulse with every heartbeat.
His steely grey eyes had the same almond shaping slants as Bro'tor, and even had the
same half-there look (though somewhat lacking the feel of resolve).
     Typical of Fratsfan pride, the young battle priest postured graciously as he
introduced himself as: KINGDOM.  "My superiors have appraised me of the current state
of the Glory Disciples stable.  Allow me the honor to make this team whole and bring
the gloryof Mantor the Bright into our fold.  What say you, disciples of Glory?"
     Noble Discord sized up Kingdom, thinking, "...best not to look a gift horse in
the mouth, particularly, not in his own house."  Noble cleared his throat.  "Kingdom,
is it?  Preaching the word of Mantor and 'practicing' the art of war from the safety
of your holy houses is a capital difference from ministering in blood upon the arena
sands.  You've got 13 days and a wake up to prepare.  Until then, I'll need your
signature upon a few formalities and two coins in advance for the ferryman in case
you...."
                                          -- Glory Disciples chronicle

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Who are these guys?!  Watch out for them in the Turf Wars!  Better yet, team up
with them!  You betcha!
          Alex Trebek 47-7624 Bubba's TW Army (TV 9-3-1) Rookie
          Convicted Beef 47-7578 Shewish Buffet (TV 8-3-0) Rookie
          Ambitious Lard 47-7582 Shewish Buffet (7-3-0) Rookie
          Asp 47-7591 Serpents Hold 200 (TV 9-3-0) Apprentice
          SCOMSSS's Nightmare 47-6934 The Opera (TV 10-3-0) Challengers
Will Bubba, Assur, Khisanth, and Manager team up?  What a powerhouse!  The protests
are already on file.
     Congrats to all these truly fantastic, but dirty, rotten, ugly, disdainful
Managers.  I hate 'em.
               OZ The All Jealous

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 346): NORM QUESHA of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 344): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 341): XANDAR of AVENGERS (Huckle Cat?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 297): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 319): ROSELYN of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 313): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 300): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 294): ZOUM LA BOUSE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 279): WORZEEL of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 272): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 247): SUGAR HILL GANG of RAP ATTACKS (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 248): NAEFAN ORDH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 248): PANAMA OATES of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 64): VODI of OLLIS HEROES (Omega, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 246): MONKEY BUSINESS of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 346): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 344): PHANTACITY (Omega, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 341): MIDDLE WAY 7 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 297): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 319): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 313): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 300): LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 294): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 279): KIWI CONNECTION II (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 272): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 248): DARQUE FORCES V (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 248): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 249): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 64): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 246): TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgrs.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 346): NORM QUESHA of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 345): CONFIDENCE of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 340): OMBERT QURL of MIDDLE WAY 7 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 297): RATA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
                   (turn 296): IPSWICH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 312): PATRY TRAP of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 299): PURPLE ACE of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 248): DIANGELIQUE of DARQUE FORCES V (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 249): PANAMA OATES of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 64): VODI of OLLIS HEROES (Omega, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of NORTH FORK!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp 
Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Former top team VEGAN CANNIBALS was 
unseated this week as OBSIDIAN ORDER moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot 
with a 3-2-1 record for the round.  WARHAMMERS bore the brunt of major assault on 
their standings this week as they dropped to 22nd position as the result of going 
0-1-0!  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness how 
this week FAST FOOD went 2-2-0 to move up 4 in the rankings.  Did only my eyes note 
the 3-0-1 record which LAND OF OZ managed to post this round?  I don't doubt that 
such a record will draw challengers!  WRATH caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested MICE CREAM and was awarded 37 points 
in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, CANUM MOERDART put down 
DEI-MAN, causing him to lose 18 points of recognition in the process.  The city has 
turned out in honor of SPAWN, for with his arena victory he may now lay claim to the 
highest position in the city!  No confirmation, but my sources claim that the top 
team has gained their position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In NORTH FORK "art" is a word that has 
long since passed from the language!  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when 
this week's challenge seeking began.  FAST FOOD is feared.  This much I can say.  
Apparently the stalwarts of OBSIDIAN ORDER are catching the bulk of jests down at the 
challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  Loose talk at the arena has 
reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters are after 
GLUTTONY.  Watch your back!  A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this 
week, it seems that BIG MAC posted a challenge against the more highly recognized 
ENDEMIC.  The results, you ask?  Well, the firebrand BIG MAC was overcame by ENDEMIC. 
Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel.  I can not but mention with 
disdain the name of GLUTTONY who this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 10 
points below in the rankings.  I thought GLUTTONY showed great skill and promise when 
he was beat by CRANE KNIGHT.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  Look no more for HENBANE in the arena or on the streets of NORTH 
FORK.  His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena.  Inevitable for one at 5-11-1.  I have 
seen warriors die in youth.  I have seen women cut down in their prime.  This week 
MYSTIC ORC FEAST must mourn the loss of 13-6-1 MICE CREAM to OBSIDIAN ORDER.  The 
warrior's path is harsh.  For mediocrity there is but one reward--death.  This past 
week DOMINUS NOX, at 5-7-0, departed NORTH FORK forever.  Must the anguished spirit 
of TENSILE toss forever in the grave unrevenged?  Against the code, RAVAGE has 
escaped his deed unpunished by IRON LEGION!  Walk proud, warriors of ROYAL FLUSH!  By 
striking down GENCON you have avenged the honor of your dead.  Your virtue is known 
to all in NORTH FORK.  Dark alleys may hide both secrets and assassins.  In the arena 
there is only the brightness of steel.  Keep vigil always!   
     The girls are as pretty in NORTH FORK as ever I remembered them....and the 
fighters as ugly!  Don't let your reputation slip!  Sadly warriors, now longer can I 
keep thy company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till 
we meet again, remember:  a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no 
one; a lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPAWN 4283                   10   7  0   104       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ENDEMIC 7265                 23  15  0   123       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 WRATH 7428                    9   4  2   108       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 FROSTY 7332                   9   6  0   104       FAST FOOD (724)
 HUMMUS HAWK 7333             11   7  1   100       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
-QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          11   9  0    99       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SALAD SLAYER 7334            11   7  1    92       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 RAVAGE 7061                  11  13  2    91       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226      12   6  1    89       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 TALKEETNA 7047               16  12  0    88       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
-BROOMSTICK 7057              13  10  1    88       LAND OF OZ (217)
 VEGGIE MONSTER 7224          12   6  1    88       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 GIZMO 6941                   13  12  1    87       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE 6934     12   1  0    86       THE OPERA (613)
-WILHELM SCREAM 7162          11   4  0    86       OTTODROME TW (728)
 BIG MAC 7120                 13   7  0    83       FAST FOOD (724)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TENTH INNING 7255             8  10  0    77       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 ULTIMA REGUM 7076            15   9  0    76       IN QETERNUM (718)
 TOFU WARRIOR 7223             8  10  0    71       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         11   6  0    69       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 LUMINOUS LOX 6495             9   7  0    69       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DRAGO KAZOV 7100             12  10  1    65       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-BLIZZARD 7119                10   6  0    65       FAST FOOD (724)
-SOUTH SPOON 7161              9   6  1    64       OTTODROME TW (728)
 STRYCHNINE 4838              11   5  2    60       PURE POISON (478)
-BRADLY GORE 7526              4   2  1    60       ASSASSINS GUILD (742)
-PRACTICAL GENE 7349           8   5  1    58       OTTODROME TW (728)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARSENIC 4285                  6   9  1    53       PURE POISON (478)
 GENCON 7259                  13  10  2    52       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 STARSCREAM 7419               5   7  0    52       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 ACE HARDWARE 7492             5   1  0    52       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-ASTROTRAIN 7352               9   6  0    51       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 CHRISTOS 7549                 7   7  1    51       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 DILECTONON FERIO 7483         4   5  0    51       IN QETERNUM (718)
 SEWARD FOLLY 7436             8   5  0    50       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 TACTIS AEGER 7395             4  10  1    43       IN QETERNUM (718)
 MISSISSIPPI QUEEN 7445        6   3  0    40       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-BLITZWING 7371                5   7  0    40       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 BIG PIGEON 7411               4   3  0    39       THE OPERA (613)
-DONETO 7534                   2   0  1    38       OTTODROME TW (728)
 KHAN 7503                     4   3  1    37       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-EMILY 7453                    4   4  0    36       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 RUSTY 7296                    8  11  0    35       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 BRO'TOR 7546                  6   8  0    34       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CRANE KNIGHT 7524             4   2  1    33       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
 CANUM MOERDART 7531           3   2  0    33       IN QETERNUM (718)
 TURQ 7548                     8   5  1    32       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 WARFARIN 5231                 3   0  0    31       PURE POISON (478)
 JACK B. NIMBLE 7446           6   3  0    30       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 PARSIFAL 7414                 4   0  0    30       THE OPERA (613)
 EMERALD 7478                  6   3  0    27       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WENDY 7552                    3   0  1    27       FAST FOOD (724)
 BLEEPING BLEEP 7466           4   7  0    26       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 EAGLE KNIGHT 7525             2   3  1    24       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LEVIATHAN 7527                2   3  0    22       ASSASSINS GUILD (742)
 ALEX TREBEK 7624              1   0  1    22       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 DING DONG 7516                4   1  1    20       LAND OF OZ (217)
 GLUTTONY 7539                 4   1  0    20       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639           2   0  0    20       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 FENCE 7498                    5   2  0    19       LAND OF OZ (217)
-THUNDERCRACKER 7467           2   5  0    19       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-KIKI 7485                     2   2  0    17       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
-EXPOSED 7595                  1   0  0    17       HORNY GOAT X (750)
-BANE FOR HER 7567             2   0  0    16       SONS OF SET (746)
 DEI-MAN 7547                  2   5  0    15       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 EINSTEIN 7622                 1   0  0    15       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 CURARE 5132                   2   4  0    13       PURE POISON (478)
 MORGAN LEFEY 7540             1   3  0    13       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 OWL KNIGHT 7521               3   3  0    12       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
 KINGDOM 7627                  1   1  0    11       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 THE PUNISHER 5172             2   2  1    10       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCORCHER 7517                 2   4  0    10       WARHAMMERS (75)
 HAWK KNIGHT 7522              2   4  0    10       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
-IAN MOORE 7528                2   3  0     9       ASSASSINS GUILD (742)
-MUMMY'S BOY 7569              1   1  0     9       SONS OF SET (746)
 CHICKEN A LA KING 7583        1   0  1     8       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-CATHERD 7519                  2   1  0     7       TORUS (32)
-RA POWER 7565                 1   1  0     7       SONS OF SET (746)
 THE HUNTRESS 7542             1   3  0     6       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-JEAN-LUC 7530                 0   5  0     5       ASSASSINS GUILD (742)
-ZEKE 7584                     1   1  0     4       LAND OF OZ (217)
 LIAM SILVERLEAF 7541          0   4  0     4       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 LYTHAR KATHAL 7543            0   4  0     4       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 XANDER MANX 7544              0   4  0     4       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-MAHESSACRE 7568               0   2  0     2       SONS OF SET (746)
-PERRETHO 7566                 0   1  0     1       SONS OF SET (746)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
STREET LEGAL            0  0 0                      ALEX TREBEK 7624      314  NONE
DENALI PEAK 7495        1  3 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 KHAN 7503             312   
NORTH WASTE 7651        0  1 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 FRENCH FRYER          314  NONE
HEMPLOCK 7640           0  1 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  CHICKEN A LA KIN 7583 314   
SAGAN 7623              0  1 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  STREET LEGAL          314  NONE
MEAT 7629               0  1 0 FANTASTIC FIVE 477   CARNIVOROUS FROG      314  NONE
THING 7628              0  1 0 FANTASTIC FIVE 477   DARK MATTER           314  NONE
DA1 7649                0  1 0 FAST FOOD 724        FRENCH FRYER          314  NONE
MARCUS 7545             6  6 0 GLORY DISCIPLES 744  WRATH 7428            312   
FALCON KNIGHT 7523      1  4 0 GUARDIAN KNIGHTS 741 DING DONG 7516        314   
DAA 7653                0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     BANANA SPLIT          314  NONE
DAB 7652                0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     DARK MATTER           314  NONE
DOMINUS NOX 7425        5  7 0 IN QETERNUM 718      STRYCHNINE 4838       314   
TENSILE 6392            4  1 2 IRON LEGION 652      RAVAGE 7061           310  NOT REVENGED
MICE CREAM 6265        13  6 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            314   
HENBANE 4289            5 12 1 PURE POISON 478      ROYAL PAIN            314  NONE
MARTIN LUTHER KI 7384   8  4 0 ROYAL FLUSH 48       GENCON 7259           311  JUST REVENGED
SEE YA 7587             0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 DARK MATTER           314  NONE
SERPENT 7589            0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 FRENCH FRYER          314  NONE
SNAKE 7590              0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 TOTO'S REVENGE        314  NONE
121 7648                0  1 0 THE OPERA 613        FLUSH THE JOHN        314  NONE
SUNSET PEACE 7592       0  1 0 WARHAMMERS 75        WENDY 7552            312   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Salad Slayer -- A salute to The Duelmaster. -- Oz The All Covetous

Dei-Man -- You Glory Disciples showed me!  Turnabout is fair play.  Well done. --
Fence, Land Of Oz

Liam Silverleaf -- To the victor goes the spoils, except you didn't leave me many
spoils. -- Zeke, Land Of Oz

Khan -- You were too much for me.  It must be that Mongolian heritage? -- Emerald,
Land Of Oz

Sir Rowynstar -- It looks like you have this Turf War thing figured out.  Welcome to
you and your Starchildren.  Send our mutual friend, Gamemaster, my regards. -- Oz The
All Welcoming

Skaven -- We, on the other hand, hope your team IS peaking too soon.  (grin)  One
look at our team and you might realize they will NEVER peak.  Ugh! -- Land Of Oz

Welcome, Newcomers, one and all.  The Turf War is coming.  The Turf War is coming.
North Fork awaits. -- Oz The All Excited

Darque -- Sorry, won't be participating in any event that encourages downchallenges.
Happened once before, and it went against everything that is the spirit of North
Fork, and I won't lower myself to those ethical standards again. -- Crip

Practical Gene -- So where's my skills at home repair? -- Ace Hardware

Hummus Hawk -- Again, completely hosed on skills.  With all those 0s, it's no wonder
I keep going into extras. -- Tenth Inning

Veggie Monster -- Sorry, Fishitarian here. -- Mississippi Queen

Vae Victura, in Qeternum -- I appreciate you not feeling sorry for me, because I
don't compete for sympathy.  And I can also appreciate the value placed upon what
wins are gained.  My drive is to maximize the potential under my current management.
That being said, I'm willing to accept any help from the seasoned and/or pioneers of
this sport.  Consider this my formal request for the help you spoke of.  How do we
begin? -- Noble Discord, Glory Disciples mgr.

Wrath -- I read your personal ad posted in the Turn 313 newsletter.  You must be
confused.  Downchallenging 17 pts and knocking 33% of your shots to Marcus' head....
Forgive me if I misinterpret your intent.  Feel free, though, to honor the dead; you
keep what'cha kill (as far as a tally mark to your record).  Just know that (fierce
as you may be) we're one in a four turn ride.  Disciplining for Glory... honoring our
fallen. -- Noble Discord, mgr. Glory Disciples

Wrath -- Can't blame a guy for trying to upchallenge 24 pts to reclaim Marcus' honor.
How come I wear only a helmet, and you managed to stab me everywhere not covered?  I
should've covered my body instead of my head... could've took more damage that way.
I'm still living, though, so I'm still coming. -- Bro'tor

Wrath -- We were "matched" in Turn 311.  I was 17 pts up on you, with the same amount
of fights under our belts, and you bested me in the first round.  Now, our records
are exact: 8-4-1; only you are 26 pts up on me.  That, coupled with the debt of
bloodfeud, makes for the perfect timing for a perfect storm. -- Turq, the mighty
nor'easter

Fence -- Demnat favors me.  We were matched on Turn 311, and I lost due to exhaustion
at the end of round 8.  I told you I was set then at a faster pace than I would've
been had I been out looking to knock a fence down.  Praise Demnat; for when I set my
pace to my basic protocol, we were matched AGAIN. -- Dei-man (the demolition man)

Exposed -- My, my, my, but didn't we make for a stereotypical David and Goliath
scriptural showdown.  Mantor the Bright has shown me the error in my warcraft through
your victory.  Congratulations, master dwarf.  Well met and matched. -- Kingdom

We the warriors of Land Of Oz, Managed by Oz The All Elderly, announce that we will
be playing for the Turf War VIII Alliance of OZ FEAST LE BANANA.  Mannequin of the
mighty Second Bananas will be our fabulous captain. -- Oz The All Elderly
P.S.  We ask the warriors of Second Bananas, Mystic Orc Feast, and Le Pentarque to
enlarge their shoulders; we Ozians can be quite heavy.

I join Oz Feast Le Bananas and Captain Mannequin. -- slugbait

     Slugbait, I have generally left your name lower case when I find it so, but if
     you'd like me to capitalize it, let me know. -- the Editor

Noble Discord -- On turn 311, Wrath and Marcus were both in the adept class.  Your
warrior even had more fights.  It was a matched fight.  I accept you Bloodfeud.
Wrath has beaten 60% of your team already.  Shall we continue the dance? -- Skaven

Glory Disciples -- As my Club Fed ally Vae Victus would say:  Vini Vidi Vici. --
Skaven

Noble Discord -- Lugh the Longarm -- check
                 Marcus -- check
                 Bro'tor -- check
                 Who's next? -- Wrath

New Teams -- Welcome to North Fork.  I hope your stay here is long and fruitful.  If
any of you have questions, please feel free to ask.  I have been here since turn 290
and I am willing to share what I know. -- Skaven, mgr Obsidian Order

Assurnasirbanipal -- Sorry to see the Palindromes depart.  I look forward to you new
team. -- Skaven

Hello, friends and foes!  I'm happy to announce I will engage my tender warriors in
this upcoming TW8 under the banner of Oz Feast Le Bananas!  My team Les Turfistes
will follow the mighty Mannequin, our Captain. -- Le Pentarque

The LBA is coming to Turf War 8.  Assurnasirbanipal (Assur) will be captaining.  One
Armed Bandit (OAB) isconfirmed as a member of the alliance.  Assur's team is Bash
Bros Park.  OAB's team is Shewish Buffet.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HENBANE was butchered by ROYAL PAIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DAB was slaughtered by DARK MATTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
DAA was easily killed by BANANA SPLIT in a popular 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena match.
NORTH WASTE was dealt death by FRENCH FRYER in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
DA1 was assassinated by FRENCH FRYER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
121 was butchered by FLUSH THE JOHN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
SERPENT was slain by FRENCH FRYER in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
MEAT was executed by CARNIVOROUS FROG in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
SNAKE was put to death by TOTO'S REVENGE in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
THING was dispatched by DARK MATTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
SEE YA was dispatched by DARK MATTER in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
TENTH INNING vanquished GENCON in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
SCORCHER was overpowered by WENDY in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud match.
LUMINOUS LOX was overpowered by RAVAGE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BIG MAC was demolished by ENDEMIC in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
TALKEETNA devastated DRAGO KAZOV in a 2 minute bloody one-sided Challenge battle.
GIZMO was beaten by HUMMUS HAWK in a 2 minute master's Challenge conflict.
WRATH savagely slew MICE CREAM in a 1 minute gory Challenge duel.
ULTIMA REGUM unbelievably bested TOFU WARRIOR in a 5 minute expert's Challenge duel.
DILECTONON FERIO slimly won victory over BIG PIGEON in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
SEWARD FOLLY overpowered BRO'TOR in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge match.
TACTIS AEGER overpowered RUSTY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
GLUTTONY was viciously subdued by CRANE KNIGHT in a 3 minute Challenge contest.
FENCE outwaited MORGAN LEFEY in a tiring 11 minute gruesome Challenge match.
CANUM MOERDART vanquished DEI-MAN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
XANDER MANX was overpowered by PARSIFAL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
THE HUNTRESS was overpowered by KHAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SALAD SLAYER was defeated by SPAWN in a popular 1 minute veteran's Title duel.
ARTICHOKE ON THIS! was subdued by FROSTY in a action packed 1 minute veteran's melee.
VEGGIE MONSTER overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
INCREDIBLE HULK beat STARSCREAM in a 2 minute fight.
CHRISTOS luckily beat MISSISSIPPI QUEEN in a action packed 1 minute duel.
DOMINUS NOX was savagely slain by STRYCHNINE in a exciting 1 minute gory match.
TURQ was overpowered by ACE HARDWARE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
JACK B. NIMBLE was overpowered by DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
ARSENIC viciously subdued BLEEPING BLEEP in a popular 2 minute bloody duel.
EAGLE KNIGHT demolished HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HAWK KNIGHT was beaten by KINGDOM in a 3 minute gory fray.
OWL KNIGHT was subdued by EMERALD in a 2 minute match.
DING DONG put to death FALCON KNIGHT in a crowd boring 13 minute match.
CURARE beat LYTHAR KATHAL in a 1 minute bout.
WARFARIN won victory over LIAM SILVERLEAF in a 2 minute bloody master vs. novice bout.
FAIRBANKS GLOW slimly won victory over THE PUNISHER in a 2 minute novice's match.
HEMPLOCK was killed by CHICKEN A LA KING in a 1 minute beginner's duel.
ALEX TREBEK butchered STREET LEGAL in a 1 minute gruesome mismatched match.
SAGAN was easily killed by STREET LEGAL in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
EINSTEIN overpowered MAXIMILLIAN in a 1 minute uneven competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 15         LUNGING ATTACK    93 -  77 -  7      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         TOTAL PARRY       53 -  52 -  1      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         STRIKING ATTACK   92 -  96 -  6      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         PARRY-LUNGE       21 -  22 -  1      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         AIMED BLOW        66 -  75 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  36 -  2      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  47 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  49 -  5      37  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  29 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  14 -  1      30  |

Turn 314 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      8 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  8         4  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  2     AIMED BLOW         3 -  6         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    5 - 10         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              BASHING ATTACK     2 -  5         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  4         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    SPAWN 4283                 10   7  0  104 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    ENDEMIC 7265               23  15  0  123 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
STRIKING ATTACK  WRATH 7428                  9   4  2  108 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
AIMED BLOW       FROSTY 7332                 9   6  0  104 FAST FOOD (724)
LUNGING ATTACK   ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226    12   6  1   89 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
TOTAL PARRY      ULTIMA REGUM 7076          15   9  0   76 IN QETERNUM (718)
BASHING ATTACK   LUMINOUS LOX 6495           9   7  0   69 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
PARRY-LUNGE      DRAGO KAZOV 7100           12  10  1   65 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
SLASHING ATTACK  GENCON 7259                13  10  2   52 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
PARRY-STRIKE     KHAN 7503                   4   3  1   37 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ARSENIC 4285.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TOFU WARRIOR 7223.  The ten other most popular fighters were DILECTONON FERIO 
7483, ARSENIC 4285, BIG PIGEON 7411, CRANE KNIGHT 7524, SNAKE 7590, SEE YA 7587, 
HUMMUS HAWK 7333, TALKEETNA 7047, FROSTY 7332, and VEGGIE MONSTER 7224.

The least popular fighter this week was DING DONG 7516.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FALCON KNIGHT 7523, FENCE 7498, SCORCHER 7517, SAGAN 7623, HEMPLOCK 
7640, LIAM SILVERLEAF 7541, LYTHAR KATHAL 7543, OWL KNIGHT 7521, HAWK KNIGHT 7522, 
and JACK B. NIMBLE 7446.