DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/08/2012    Duedate: 06/04/2012

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-315

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SPAWN
FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
(47-4283) [11-7-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FROSTY                         EXPOSED
FAST FOOD (724)                HORNY GOAT X (750)
(47-7332) [10-6-0,118]         (47-7595) [2-0-0,30]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ARSENIC                        EXPOSED
PURE POISON (478)              HORNY GOAT X (750)
(47-4285) [7-9-1,62]           (47-7595) [2-0-0,30]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. PURE POISON (478)           45
2. HORNY GOAT X (750)          34      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. MSNBC (755)                 31      Unchartered Team
4. IN QETERNUM (718)           27
5. SHEWISH BUFFET (748)        25      BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         668 415 24 61.7   1/ 2 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)    11  4 0
 2/ 1 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    78  50  3 60.9   2/ 1 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)     10  5 1
 3/ 5 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     58  38  4 60.4   3/12 PURE POISON (478)         9  1 1
 4/ 4 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   340 229 25 59.8   4/ 4 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    7  6 0
 5- 6 THE OPERA (613)          135  93  4 59.2   5/ 5 IN QETERNUM (718)         7  8 0
 6/ 3 OTTODROME TW (728)        45  32  3 58.4   6/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217)          6  3 1
 7- 7 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     88  66  7 57.1   7/18 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      5  5 0
 8/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         790 611 40 56.4   8-11 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     5  5 0
 9/ 9 FAST FOOD (724)           52  47  1 52.5   9/ 7 FAST FOOD (724)           5  6 0
10/10 DARQUE FORCES (396)      223 202 17 52.5  10/ 6 OTTODROME TW (728)        4  5 0
11/11 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      65  59  8 52.4  11/ 9 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          4  8 1
12/12 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)    171 164 12 51.0  12/10 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)     4  8 0
13/20*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)      3   3  1 50.0  13/17*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     3  3 1
14/ 0*MSNBC (755)                2   2  0 50.0  14- 8 THE OPERA (613)           3  3 0
15/ 0 I HATE THEM (597)         60  62  2 49.2  15/15*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    3  6 0
16/18 PURE POISON (478)         39  48  5 44.8  16/21*HORNY GOAT X (750)        3  6 0
17-13 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     31  39  2 44.3  17/ 0*MSNBC (755)               2  2 0
18-14 WARHAMMERS (75)          338 429 17 44.1  18/16 DARQUE FORCES (396)       2  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 IN QETERNUM (718)         53  72  5 42.4  19/ 0 I HATE THEM (597)         1  1 0
20/16 TORUS (32)               201 276 19 42.1  20/ 0*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      1  2 0
21/15*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    12  18  2 40.0  21/13 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    1  6 0
22/21 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      33  56  2 37.1  22/19*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)      1 14 0
23/23*HORNY GOAT X (750)         3   6  0 33.3  23/23 TORUS (32)                0  8 0
24/ 0*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)       1   2  0 33.3  24/25*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   0  5 0
25/24*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)       3  22  0 12.0  25-24 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     0  2 0
26/25*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)    0   5  0  0.0  26-22 WARHAMMERS (75)           0  2 0
27/ 0*THE SHADOW GUILD (453)     0   1  0  0.0  27/ 0*THE SHADOW GUILD (453)    0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     I was going to address this in private, but since Crip posted his "displeasure"
in the newsletter--I will follow his precedent.  I am not going to take the time to
express opinions, nor my personal leanings in regards to down challenging.  If you
have played D2 long enough in an arena with me, you know my play style and personal
interactions with all managers.  What I will attempt to do is give you a brief
history of the Turf Wars, to the best of my ability with the access that I have to
old newsletters.  I will close with my personal thoughts and impressions on the
matter, but now, only the facts.
     Turf War 1 -- I do not have access to this information because I have trashed my
old newsletters and my digital copies only go back to 2003.  As such, I cannot
comment on the rules for down challenging.  I have a fuzzy memory of Asmo Dius being
the moderator.
     Turf War 2 -- This one was not held in North Fork, but in Erinika (DM 73).  One
can access Turn 133 online for a glimpse of the Turf War in action.  No rules are
listed; however, there is a discussion in the p-ads of interest between Drake and
Assur.  They are discussing a down challenge that has taken place in the contest and
there does not appear to be any implied negative outcome.  There is nothing stated
explicitly either, so any conclusion drawn from it is speculative at best.
     Turf War 3 -- North Fork Turn 208 has the rules listed for the upcoming Turf War
3.  There is no penalty for down challenging.
     Turf War 4 -- North Fork Turn 224 has the rules listing for Turf War 4.  Down
challenging only incurred negative points if you LOST, like any other fight.  Down
challenging was also defined as one bracket to another (e.g. Challenger Adepts down
to Adepts).
     Turf War 5 -- North Fork Turn 243 has the rules listing for Turf War 5.  This is
the first evidence that I can find where down challenging incurs a penalty for
winning or killing the opponent.
     Turf War 6 -- North Fork Turn 267 has the rules listing for Turf War 6.  There
is no penalty for down challenging.  This also happens to be the first Turf War that
Oz and Darque co-moderated together.
     Turf War 7 -- North Fork Turn 295 has the rules listing for Turf War 7.  This
one should be fresh upon many minds.  I include it only for quick reference.

My conclusion -- Down challenging has never been a significant problem or part of the
Turf Wars.  Why one would choose to make such an issue about it now confounds me.

To Crip, I'm sorry you feel like you were placed in the cross-hairs of an ethical
crisis.  The key word is "feel" because history doesn't support your claim.  You had
no problems in the previous incarnations of the Turf War, and if you did, you did not
feel the need to vent them in the newsletter.  I understand things change and people
change, but your p-ad read more like an accusation than a note to cordially bowing
out of the upcoming contest.  I also find it interesting that your p-ad was only
addressed to me with no mention of Oz.  You know as well as anyone that every rule
and regulation in the Turf War is agreed upon by both moderators.  I will state for
the record that I did push for the down challenging penalties to be removed, so I
know my role.  It was done in the spirit of compromise as well, and I agreed with Oz
that making it a revolving feature fit with North Fork as a Free Blades arena.

To everyone else, I did not write this to draw a line in the sand for you to choose a
side.  As far as I am concerned, the matter is over for me and I won't be responding
to any more p-ads on the issue.  If you agree with Crip, fine!  If you agree with me,
also fine!  The End.

Sincerely,

Master Darque

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                  PAY ATTENTION
                            ANOTHER TURF WAR Spot Light

         WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

     Be careful, or you will miss it!  There are ONLY THREE more turns prior to the
start of the Turf Wars.  Get your info in NOW All info MUST appear in the North Fork
personal ads.  (On line, in person, otherwise--unacceptable.)  The Moderators will
not deviate or rationalize for delinquent entrants or perceived entrant errors.
(Turns remaining 5-7, 6-4, 7-2. The event starts 7-30)

     To start, a captain must step forward with an Alliance entry.  (manager name,
team name, alliance name. (A captain CANNOT declare for an entrant or vice versa)
     Each teammate must step forward to declare to that alliance.  (manager name,
team name, alliance name)
      THEN the captain must confirm (After their declarations) that all declarers
have been accepted to his/her alliance.  (Note; the confirmation CAN be in the very
same spotlight, but not before.)
     Separate of the ads, each declarer's two RU certs must be in a Moderator's
possession prior to the start of the event.  (Note: Apparently Oz of Land Of Oz is
the deemed Moderator holder of the certs.)

KNOWN STATUS as of 5-5-12
Ads from the 5-7 newsletter are not yet formally listed)

Alliances: Oz Feast Le Bananas (OFLB), LBA, M*MBO

Oz Fest Le Bananas            CPTN   DECLARE   CONFIRM   Certs In
Mannequin    Second Bananas   yes       no       no        no
Oz           Land Of Oz                 yes      no       yes
Le Pentarque  Les Turfistes             yes      no       yes
Slugbait     Mystic Orc Feast           yes      no       yes

LBA                           CPTN   DECLARE   CONFIRM   Certs In
Assur        Bash Bros Park   yes       yes      yes      yes
OAB          Shewish Buffet             yes      yes      yes

M*MBO                         CPTN   DECLARE   CONFIRM   Certs In
Master Darque  Darque Forces  yes       no        no       no
Bubbaganoosh  Bubba's TW Army           no        no       no
Otto X       Ottodrome TW               no        no      yes
Madwand      Fast Food                  no        no      yes

UNCONFIRMED ALLIANCE TEAMS    CPTN   DECLARE   CONFIRM   Certs In
Skaven       Obsidian Order    no       no        no       yes
Vae Victus   In Qeternum       no       no        no       yes

If anyone needs to see the rules/entry information/document, they are in the most
recent DM47 Newsletter (and many other newsletters) on line.

Be there or be square!
Oz The All Informing

P.S.  This is the most up-to-date info.  Hence ignore my persadad summary below which
was an earlier post.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 347): AKANAH of STRANGE UNIVERSE (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 345): COLGATE SMILE of MY GENERATION (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 342): XANDAR of AVENGERS (Huckle Cat?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 298): FALLON GRIMM of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 320): ROSELYN of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 314): SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 301): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): JASMIN of JADE WARRIORS (Brandon Massingale, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 280): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 273): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 248): SUGAR HILL GANG of RAP ATTACKS (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 249): NAEFAN ORDH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 250): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 65): BERTHOLD of SUDDENLY, THE VAN (She-Puppy, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 247): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 347): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 345): PHANTACITY (Omega, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 342): AVENGERS (Huckle Cat?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 298): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 320): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 314): OBSIDIAN ORDER (Skaven, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 301): LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 280): KIWI CONNECTION II (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 273): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 249): WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 249): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 250): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 65): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 247): TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgrs.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 346): NORM QUESHA of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 298): FALLON GRIMM of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
                   (turn 297): RATA of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): AREOPOLITE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 273): G W BUSH of TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 248): SUGAR HILL GANG of RAP ATTACKS (Marma Duke, mgr.)
                 (turn 248): DIANGELIQUE of DARQUE FORCES V (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 249): LOUIE MURH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 249): PANAMA OATES of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 65): BERTHOLD of SUDDENLY, THE VAN (She-Puppy, mgr.)
                   (turn 64): VODI of OLLIS HEROES (Omega, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Oh, hi.  Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte.  Thought I'd check out NORTH FORK to 
see what's new.  Too bad, OBSIDIAN ORDER, but VEGAN CANNIBALS was just too good to be 
stopped.  FANTASTIC FIVE had like a really albendranius week!  Those hunks got a 
3-2-0 and wound up as 7th team!  I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings or anything, 
but MYSTIC ORC FEAST really goofed with their 0-1-0.  One team deserves special 
mention 'cause they moved up 9 after going 5-0-0.  Keep it up, PURE POISON!  MVP 
award for NICK O'TINE?  PURE POISON's proud of him after beating MORGAN LEFEY and 
getting 18 points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  DONETO's match with RUSTY cost him 
a loss of 11 points!  RAVAGE thinks his 11-14-2 and studly character is good enough 
to face up to the Duelmaster.  Any bets?  Don't you think the Duelmaster is being 
unfair?  I think SPAWN should let RAVAGE be Duelmaster for a while, without fighting 
about it.  Who was the wiseguy that said NORTH FORK's Duelmaster was paying for 
drinks at The Welcome Wench?  Don't look at me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  THE OPERA was the most avoided team.  Is a 135-93-4 record really 
that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are ROYAL FLUSH?  THE OPERA, an easy team 
to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Like, is ARSENIC 
popular, or what?  He was challenged the most in all of NORTH FORK!  He's got a 
7-9-1, is that good?  Some fights are really unfair.  How do you think LUMINOUS LOX 
feels about being challenged by WRATH, 39 points above him?  I was sorry to see such 
an unfair "fight" in NORTH FORK.  WRATH got 3 points after beating LUMINOUS LOX, 39 
points below him.  For sure, I was holding my breath when I found out FROSTY 
challenged ENDEMIC.  After all, haven't FAST FOOD and BLACK LIGHTNING had a long 
standing duel in NORTH FORK?  It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but ENDEMIC 
wants me to write about it since he was subdued by FROSTY.  Satisfied?  DRAGO KAZOV 
must not be a good enough fighter to get in fair fights.  He challenged GENCON.  13 
is a big difference.  (Well, that's what they tell me.) I thought DRAGO KAZOV showed 
great skill and promise when he bested GENCON.  All right, so I slept through it!  
Big deal!   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  Like was that some Bloodfeud, or what?  
(ALEX TREBEK vs. CHICKEN A LA KING, that is.) What if they had a fight and nobody 
showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I gotta leave.  NORTH FORK is like such a dump, and you guys smell too much!  
Remember you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPAWN 4283                   11   7  0   108       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FROSTY 7332                  10   6  0   118       FAST FOOD (724)
 WRATH 7428                   10   4  2   111       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 HUMMUS HAWK 7333             12   7  1   110       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
-QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          11   9  0    99       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SALAD SLAYER 7334            12   7  1    98       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 ENDEMIC 7265                 23  16  0    93       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 GIZMO 6941                   14  12  1    93       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226      13   6  1    91       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 VEGGIE MONSTER 7224          13   6  1    91       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ULTIMA REGUM 7076            16   9  0    90       IN QETERNUM (718)
 RAVAGE 7061                  11  14  2    90       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-BROOMSTICK 7057              13  10  1    88       LAND OF OZ (217)
-SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE 6934     12   1  0    86       THE OPERA (613)
-SLUGBAIT 6329                 7   0  1    84       I HATE THEM (597)
-BIG MAC 7120                 13   7  0    83       FAST FOOD (724)
 TALKEETNA 7047               16  13  0    82       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 WILHELM SCREAM 7162          11   5  0    81       OTTODROME TW (728)
 TENTH INNING 7255             8  11  0    77       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         12   6  0    76       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DRAGO KAZOV 7100             13  10  1    70       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 LUMINOUS LOX 6495             9   8  0    69       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 TOFU WARRIOR 7223             8  11  0    68       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BLIZZARD 7119                10   6  0    65       FAST FOOD (724)
 SOULTAKER 5455                9   7  0    64       I HATE THEM (597)
 PRACTICAL GENE 7349           8   6  1    63       OTTODROME TW (728)
 STRYCHNINE 4838              12   5  2    62       PURE POISON (478)
 ARSENIC 4285                  7   9  1    62       PURE POISON (478)
 SOUTH SPOON 7161              9   7  1    61       OTTODROME TW (728)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SEWARD FOLLY 7436             9   5  0    56       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 GENCON 7259                  13  11  2    52       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
-ACE HARDWARE 7492             5   1  0    52       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-ASTROTRAIN 7352               9   6  0    51       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-CHRISTOS 7549                 7   7  1    51       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 RUSTY 7296                    9  11  0    49       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 STARSCREAM 7419               5   8  0    47       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 MISSISSIPPI QUEEN 7445        7   3  0    46       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 TACTIS AEGER 7395             4  11  1    44       IN QETERNUM (718)
 CANUM MOERDART 7531           4   2  0    44       IN QETERNUM (718)
 DILECTONON FERIO 7483         4   6  0    42       IN QETERNUM (718)
-BLITZWING 7371                5   7  0    40       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 WARFARIN 5231                 4   0  0    40       PURE POISON (478)
-BIG PIGEON 7411               4   3  0    39       THE OPERA (613)
-THE CREEPSTER 6328            8   4  0    37       I HATE THEM (597)
-EMILY 7453                    4   4  0    36       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
-BRO'TOR 7546                  6   8  0    34       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 MASTER DARQUE 6835            6   1  0    34       I HATE THEM (597)
 KHAN 7503                     4   4  1    34       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EMERALD 7478                  7   3  0    33       LAND OF OZ (217)
-TURQ 7548                     8   5  1    32       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 JACK B. NIMBLE 7446           6   4  0    30       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-PARSIFAL 7414                 4   0  0    30       THE OPERA (613)
 EXPOSED 7595                  2   0  0    30       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 ALEX TREBEK 7624              2   0  1    29       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 WENDY 7552                    3   1  1    27       FAST FOOD (724)
 DONETO 7534                   2   1  1    27       OTTODROME TW (728)
 BLEEPING BLEEP 7466           4   8  0    26       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 CRANE KNIGHT 7524             4   3  1    25       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
-EAGLE KNIGHT 7525             2   3  1    24       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GLUTTONY 7539                 5   1  0    23       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 FENCE 7498                    6   2  0    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
 DING DONG 7516                4   2  1    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CURARE 5132                   3   4  0    20       PURE POISON (478)
-THUNDERCRACKER 7467           2   5  0    19       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 NICK O'TINE 7662              1   0  0    18       PURE POISON (478)
-KIKI 7485                     2   2  0    17       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
-DEI-MAN 7547                  2   5  0    15       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639           2   1  0    15       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 RED VIXEN 7596                1   0  0    15       HORNY GOAT X (750)
-EINSTEIN 7622                 1   0  0    15       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 AMBITIOUS LARD 7582           1   0  0    13       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 LAWRENCE O'DONNELL 7635       1   0  0    13       MSNBC (755)
 COLOSSUS 7663                 1   0  0    13       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-OWL KNIGHT 7521               3   3  0    12       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
 CATHERD 7519                  2   2  0    12       TORUS (32)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LYTHAR KATHAL 7543            1   4  0    12       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 HAWK KNIGHT 7522              2   5  0    11       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
-KINGDOM 7627                  1   1  0    11       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 THE PUNISHER 5172             2   3  1    10       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-SCORCHER 7517                 2   4  0    10       WARHAMMERS (75)
 ACID KITTY 7533               1   0  0    10       OTTODROME TW (728)
 AEGRE ID MILES 7659           1   0  0    10       IN QETERNUM (718)
 CHICKEN A LA KING 7583        1   1  1     9       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 RACHAEL MADDOW 7632           1   0  0     8       MSNBC (755)
 THE HUNTRESS 7542             1   4  0     7       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 MORGAN LEFEY 7540             1   4  0     7       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 CAPTURED PORK 7581            0   1  0     7       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 DYLAN RATIGAN 7634            0   1  0     7       MSNBC (755)
 LIAM SILVERLEAF 7541          0   5  0     5       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 XANDER MANX 7544              0   5  0     5       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-ZEKE 7584                     1   1  0     4       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BLACK BOLT 7664               0   1  0     1       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 QUILL 4080                    0   1  0     1       THE SHADOW GUILD (453)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BEAR BAIT 7672          0  1 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 WINGED MONKEY         315  NONE
DENALI PEAK 7495        1  3 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 KHAN 7503             312   
HEMPLOCK 7640           0  1 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  CHICKEN A LA KIN 7583 314  JUST REVENGED
CRAP 7674               0  1 0 FAST FOOD 724        DARK MATTER           315  NONE
MARCUS 7545             6  6 0 GLORY DISCIPLES 744  WRATH 7428            312   
FALCON KNIGHT 7523      1  4 0 GUARDIAN KNIGHTS 741 DING DONG 7516        314   
DA1 7680                0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     PIZZA VILLAIN         315  NONE
DA2 7681                0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     FRENCH FRYER          315  NONE
DOMINUS NOX 7425        5  7 0 IN QETERNUM 718      STRYCHNINE 4838       314   
ED SCHULTZ 7633         0  1 0 MSNBC 755            BANANA SPLIT          315  NONE
MICE CREAM 6265        13  6 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            314   
MARTIN LUTHER KI 7384   8  4 0 ROYAL FLUSH 48       GENCON 7259           311  REVENGED
ANACONDA 7588           0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 WINGED MONKEY         315  NONE
BYE 7655                0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 TOTO'S REVENGE        315  NONE
SNACK 7579              0  1 0 SHEWISH BUFFET 748   WINGED MONKEY         315  NONE
AND DUMBER 7642         0  1 0 TORUS 32             PIZZA VILLAIN         315  NONE
DUMB 7641               0  1 0 TORUS 32             FRENCH FRYER          315  NONE
HUH HUH 7643            0  1 0 TORUS 32             TOTO'S REVENGE        315  NONE
SUNSET PEACE 7592       0  1 0 WARHAMMERS 75        WENDY 7552            312   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Congratulations to Spawn, Duelmaster of North Fork. -- Oz The All Jealous

Crip -- We admire you for your stand, as the spirit of North Fork, while independent,
has always been highly ethical and sportsmanlike, and opposed to the concept of
downchallenging.  I can assure you that the next Turf War will support that
historical North Fork environment. -- Oz The All Supportive

Assur -- Will LBA be only you and OAB?  (Which, by the way, is looking quite
formidable.) -- Oz The All Interested

Current status of TW8:
Oz Feast Le Bananas
     Second Bananas -- Captain
     Le Turfistes
     Mystic Orc Feast
     Land of Oz
2nd Bananas not yet declared; Alliance not yet captain confirmed
Certs received -- Mystic Orc Feast and Land Of Oz

LBA
     Bash Bros Park -- Captain
     Shewish Buffet
Shewish Buffet not declared and will have to be confirmed after declaration
no certs yet from LBA
-- Oz The All Organized

Falcon Knight and all Guardian Knights -- I apologize for the sad death.  It was not
intentional.  May Falcon Knight fight well in that Great Arena in the sky.  Mea
culpa. -- Ding Dong of Land Of Oz

Morgan Lefey -- I was very, very lucky.  That fight was on the fence all the way. --
Fence of Land Of Oz

Owl Knight -- I am not sure how I possibly beat you, but I want you to know it was
quite a hoot. -- Emerald Of Land Of Oz

WARNING -- there are only three more newsletters for declarations for the Turf War.
AND, your captain must confirm after you declare.  PLUS, two certs must be in the
hands of Master Darque or Old Oz prior to competing. -- Oz The All Reminding

Turf War moderators -- I will be participating in the contest with my team SHEWISH
BUFFET, as part of the LBA team, captained by Assur. -- One Armed Bandit

editor -- I'm a lower case kind of guy or slug.  Thanks for noticing. -- slugbait

OZ -- my plan was for you to carry me.  We may be in trouble. -- sluggy

Wrath -- bad challenge on my part. -- slugbait

My name is Otto X, and I declare my team OTTODROME TW for the M*MBO alliance
will participate in the upcoming Turf War.  May the gods have mercy on ye.

Oz and Master Darque -- I, Madwand of Fast Food, declare myself as a participant for
the upcoming Turf War on Team M*mbo.  Master Darque will again lead us as our
Captain. -- Madwand

All -- Club Fed returns for its second Turf War.  I, Vae Victus from In Qeternum will
Captain the team.  Joining me will be Skaven and his crew from Obsidian Order, and
Lucifer managing Devil's Rejects.  Last Turf War, we from Club Fed went through a
large learning curve.  This time, things will be different (we hope).

Strychnine -- Dead, huh?  Now I have to train another one.  Do you know how much time
it takes to get these fighters trained?  How much money?  Now I have to wade through
the initiates again! -- Vae Victus, mgr. In Qeternum

Mystic Orc Feast -- I had Wrath geared up to deal with the bloodfeud from Glory
Disciples.  I guess they were found wanting and avoided Wrath.  Unfortunately, Wrath
killed Mice Cream as a result. My regrets. -- Skaven, mgr. Obsidian Order

Noble Discord -- I much prefer Napoleon Boneparte.  "Never interfere with an enemy
that is in the process of committing suicide."  Keep coming for Wrath. -- Skaven

Turq -- A perfect storm?  You blow a lot of hot air, but a storm that does not make.
-- Wrath

All -- The arena calls, we shall answer.  Obsidian Order will participate in the Turf
War under the banner of Club Fed, led by Vae Victus.  We shall attempt to lay claim
to the alliance with the most kills again. -- Skaven

Oz -- I formally announce the entry of the M*MBO alliance into Turf War 8.  I declare
myself the Captain of M*MBO, and I also declare my team Darque Forces entry into Turf
War 8. -- Master Darque, Darque Forces, Captain M*MBO

Oz -- I would also like to confirm the following teams for M*MBO alliance and Turf
War 8, assuming they have declared this turn.  Bubbaganoosh and Bubba's TW Army; Otto
X and Ottodrome TW; and last but certainly not least Madwand and Fast Food. -- Master
Darque, Captain M*MBO

Anarchist -- I figured I would just lose to your entire team--my OCD is weird at
times. -- Master Darque

I, Mannequin, shall be leading Oz Feast Le Banana in the upcoming 8th edition of the
Turf War. Good luck to all--you're going to need it!

Greetings North Fork!  My team, Bubba's TW Army, will be entering the upcoming Turf
War for team M*MBO. -- Bubba Ganoosh

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ANACONDA was butchered by WINGED MONKEY in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BYE was viciously butchered by TOTO'S REVENGE in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
DA1 was assassinated by PIZZA VILLAIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
CRAP was dealt death by DARK MATTER in a popular 3 minute Dark Arena contest.
BEAR BAIT was assassinated by WINGED MONKEY in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
SNACK was butchered by WINGED MONKEY in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DA2 was assassinated by FRENCH FRYER in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
HUH HUH was executed by TOTO'S REVENGE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DUMB was assassinated by FRENCH FRYER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
ED SCHULTZ was slaughtered by BANANA SPLIT in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
AND DUMBER was viciously butchered by PIZZA VILLAIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
TACTIS AEGER lost to STRYCHNINE in a popular 1 minute Bloodfeud duel.
ALEX TREBEK overpowered CHICKEN A LA KING in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud match.
FROSTY overpowered ENDEMIC in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
WRATH demolished LUMINOUS LOX in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
RAVAGE slimly lost to SPAWN in a 2 minute bloody veteran's Challenge Title battle.
WILHELM SCREAM was luckily beaten by ULTIMA REGUM in a 6 minute Challenge conflict.
INCREDIBLE HULK defeated TOFU WARRIOR in a 2 minute expert's Challenge struggle.
DRAGO KAZOV beat GENCON in a 2 minute master's Challenge brawl.
DILECTONON FERIO was devastated by ARSENIC in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DONETO was demolished by RUSTY in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SEWARD FOLLY beat STARSCREAM in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
CANUM MOERDART handily defeated JACK B. NIMBLE in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
FAIRBANKS GLOW was outlasted by GLUTTONY in a monotonous 14 minute Challenge duel.
THE PUNISHER was luckily beaten by LYTHAR KATHAL in a 1 minute Challenge fray.
HUMMUS HAWK overpowered TALKEETNA in a popular 1 minute gruesome one-sided match.
SALAD SLAYER overpowered SOULTAKER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
TENTH INNING was defeated by VEGGIE MONSTER in a 1 minute veteran's bout.
ARTICHOKE ON THIS! beat PRACTICAL GENE in a 1 minute expert's duel.
GIZMO overpowered SOUTH SPOON in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MISSISSIPPI QUEEN overcame KHAN in a exciting 1 minute duel.
EMERALD savagely defeated BLEEPING BLEEP in a 2 minute gruesome fight.
CRANE KNIGHT was handily defeated by CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
WENDY was subdued by WARFARIN in a exciting 5 minute gory novice vs. veteran fight.
MASTER DARQUE handily defeated CATHERD in a 2 minute gruesome mismatched match.
HAWK KNIGHT was savagely defeated by CURARE in a exciting 2 minute brutal struggle.
DING DONG was viciously subdued by EXPOSED in a action packed 4 minute gory bout.
FENCE outlasted LIAM SILVERLEAF in a unpopular 8 minute match.
XANDER MANX was subdued by RACHAEL MADDOW in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.
MORGAN LEFEY was vanquished by NICK O'TINE in a exciting 1 minute mismatched bout.
THE HUNTRESS was handily defeated by COLOSSUS in a popular 4 minute one-sided duel.
LAWRENCE O'DONNELL demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute uneven duel.
DYLAN RATIGAN was devastated by AEGRE ID MILES in a 2 minute mismatched match.
ACID KITTY handily defeated CAPTURED PORK in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
RED VIXEN beat BLACK BOLT in a action packed 2 minute bloody competition.
AMBITIOUS LARD demolished QUILL in a 1 minute brutal one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 15         LUNGING ATTACK    83 -  69 -  6      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         STRIKING ATTACK   91 -  87 -  6      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  20 -  1      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         AIMED BLOW        62 -  69 -  1      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         TOTAL PARRY       44 -  50 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         WALL OF STEEL     28 -  36 -  2      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         BASHING ATTACK    29 -  47 -  2      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   26 -  45 -  5      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  14 -  1      30  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  30 -  1      29  |

Turn 315 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         4 -  5         4  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK   10 -  5     LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  8         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  3         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  8         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    SPAWN 4283                 11   7  0  108 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
AIMED BLOW       FROSTY 7332                10   6  0  118 FAST FOOD (724)
STRIKING ATTACK  WRATH 7428                 10   4  2  111 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    ENDEMIC 7265               23  16  0   93 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
LUNGING ATTACK   ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226    13   6  1   91 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
TOTAL PARRY      ULTIMA REGUM 7076          16   9  0   90 IN QETERNUM (718)
PARRY-LUNGE      DRAGO KAZOV 7100           13  10  1   70 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
BASHING ATTACK   LUMINOUS LOX 6495           9   8  0   69 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
SLASHING ATTACK  GENCON 7259                13  11  2   52 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ARSENIC 4285.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was EXPOSED 7595.  The ten other most popular fighters were WENDY 7552, WILHELM 
SCREAM 7162, CURARE 5132, THE HUNTRESS 7542, RED VIXEN 7596, CRAP 7674, WARFARIN 
5231, RAVAGE 7061, SPAWN 4283, and TOFU WARRIOR 7223.

The least popular fighter this week was FENCE 7498.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were GLUTTONY 7539, FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639, QUILL 4080, CAPTURED PORK 7581, 
AEGRE ID MILES 7659, DYLAN RATIGAN 7634, COLOSSUS 7663, LIAM SILVERLEAF 7541, HAWK 
KNIGHT 7522, and CRANE KNIGHT 7524.

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY LIII

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
KRAMER 5191 (108-62-0)                 3  3  0         SECOND BANANAS       
FGC 6648 (38-15-0)                     0  5  0         KAOS                 

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BLACK JACK SHELACK 4850 (38-27-2)      2  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
BURGER KING 4152 (42-38-3)             2  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
JUNEAU DAWNING 7045 (15-4-1)           2  3  0         ALASKAN PIPELINE     
ACE OF BASE 6905 (21-13-0)             1  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
KANA BALLISTIC 6976 (22-17-3)          5  3  1         DEVIATION            
EUREKA PRIDE 7044 (22-6-1)             2  3  0         ALASKAN PIPELINE     

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE 6934 (12-1-0)     10  3  0         THE OPERA            
BROOMSTICK 7057 (13-10-1)              1  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
YUKON QUEST 7157 (12-6-0)              0  1  0  DEAD   ALASKAN PIPELINE     

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BLOODFLICKER 7228 (9-2-0)              5  3  0         AGGRESSIVE MEDIOCRE  
BLIZZARD 7119 (10-6-0)                 2  3  0         FAST FOOD            
YORL 7153 (8-3-0)                      2  3  0         LES TURFISTES        
LUMINOUS LOX 6495 (9-6-0)              1  3  0         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
WITCH DOCTOR 7215 (9-3-0)              6  3  1         OF WOLF & MAN        
BRO'TOR 7546 (6-7-0)                   1  3  0         GLORY DISCIPLES      

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
EXPOSED 7595 (1-0-0)                   6  3  1         HORNY GOAT X         
WARFARIN 5231 (2-0-0)                  5  3  0         PURE POISON          
DEI-MAN 7547 (2-4-0)                   1  3  0         GLORY DISCIPLES      

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ASP 7591 (0-0-0)                       9  3  0         SERPENTS HOLD 200    
CANUM MOERDART 7531 (2-2-0)            3  3  0         IN QETERNUM          
DING DONG 7516 (3-1-0)                 3  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
RED VIXEN 7596 (0-0-0)                 1  3  0         HORNY GOAT X         
ZEKE 7584 (1-1-0)                      1  3  0         LAND OF OZ           

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ALEX TREBEK 7624 (0-0-0)               9  3  1         BUBBA'S TW ARMY      
CONVICTED BEEF 7578 (0-0-0)            8  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       
AMBITIOUS LARD 7582 (0-0-0)            7  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       
VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE 7580 (0-0-0)       5  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       
CHRIS MATTHEWS 7631 (0-0-0)            4  3  0         MSNBC                
OPPENHEIMER 7625 (0-0-0)               4  3  0         BUBBA'S TW ARMY      
ACID KITTY 7533 (0-0-0)                3  3  1         OTTODROME TW         
ANACONDA 7588 (0-0-0)                  3  3  0         SERPENTS HOLD 200    
CAPTURED PORK 7581 (0-0-0)             3  3  0         SHEWISH BUFFET       
EINSTEIN 7622 (0-0-0)                  3  3  0         BUBBA'S TW ARMY      
DYLAN RATIGAN 7634 (0-0-0)             2  3  0         MSNBC                
LAWRENCE O'DONNELL 7635 (0-0-0)        2  3  0         MSNBC                
RUNAWAY 7607 (0-0-0)                   2  3  0         OBG                  
SAGAN 7623 (0-0-0)                     2  3  1         BUBBA'S TW ARMY      
THE SEEKER 7617 (0-0-0)                2  3  0         SWORD OF TRUTH       
HOMECOMING QUEEN 7611 (0-0-0)          1  3  0         OBG                  

ADM FOOLS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
VYNMORGATH 6646 (12-1-0)               2  3  0         KAOS                 
JOE KING 2223 (35-58-1)                1  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
DON KING 5374 (36-34-3)                0  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
JACK KNIFE 6694 (27-13-1)              0  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          

CHALLENGERS FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MICE CREAM 6265 (13-5-1)               1  3  0         MYSTIC ORC FEAST     
SPAWN 4283 (9-7-0)                     1  3  0         FANTASTIC FIVE       
RAVAGE 7061 (10-13-2)                  0  3  0         OBSIDIAN ORDER       

CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
INCREDIBLE HULK 4280 (10-6-0)          2  3  0         FANTASTIC FIVE       
PETIT JARDINIA 7154 (9-4-0)            0  3  0         LES TURFISTES        

INITIATES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
JACK B. NIMBLE 7446 (6-2-0)            1  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
EMERALD 7478 (5-3-0)                   0  3  0         LAND OF OZ           
KHAN 7503 (3-3-1)                      0  3  0         OBSIDIAN ORDER       

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
CATHERD 7519 (2-1-0)                   1  3  0         TORUS                
EAGLE KNIGHT 7525 (1-3-1)              0  3  0         GUARDIAN KNIGHTS     

ROOKIES FOOLS TOURNEY                  W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RU BRINGER 7510 (0-0-0)                4  3  0         LES TURFISTES        
RACHAEL MADDOW 7632 (0-0-0)            1  3  0         MSNBC                
CHICKEN A LA KING 7583 (0-0-0)         0  3  0         ROYAL FLUSH          
HEMPLOCK 7640 (0-0-0)                  0  3  0         BUBBA'S TW ARMY