DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/05/2012    Duedate: 07/02/2012

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-316

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ARTICHOKE ON THIS!
VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
(47-7226) [14-6-1,106]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

VEGGIE MONSTER                 ALEX TREBEK
VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)          BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
(47-7224) [14-6-1,109]         (47-7624) [3-0-1,48]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ARSENIC                        EMERALD
PURE POISON (478)              LAND OF OZ (217)
(47-4285) [7-10-1,50]          (47-7478) [7-4-0,33]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

PURE POISON (478)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BLACK LIGHTNING (738)       35
2. MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)      29      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)    26      Unchartered Team
4. HORNY GOAT X (750)          26
5. DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)       24      DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217)         669 417 24 61.6   1/ 3 PURE POISON (478)         9  6 1
 2/ 0 SECOND BANANAS (573)     230 151 21 60.4   2/ 5 IN QETERNUM (718)         9  6 0
 3/ 0*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)      3   2  1 60.0   3/ 7 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      8  7 1
 4/14*MSNBC (755)                3   2  0 60.0   4/ 1 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     8  7 0
 5/ 2 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    79  53  3 59.8   5/ 2 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      7  8 1
 6/ 4 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   341 229 25 59.8   6/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)          6  3 1
 7/ 3 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     60  41  4 59.4   7/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          6  6 1
 8- 5 THE OPERA (613)          135  93  4 59.2   8/12 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)     6  6 0
 9/ 6 OTTODROME TW (728)        47  33  3 58.8   9/ 4 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    5  7 0
10/ 0 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     22  16  3 57.9  10/13*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     4  2 1
11/13*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)      4   3  1 57.1  11/19 I HATE THEM (597)         4  2 0
12/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         792 612 40 56.4  12/ 0*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)     3  2 1
13- 9 FAST FOOD (724)           52  47  1 52.5  13/17*MSNBC (755)               3  2 0
14-10 DARQUE FORCES (396)      223 202 17 52.5  14- 9 FAST FOOD (724)           3  4 0
15/12 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)    175 164 12 51.6  15/10 OTTODROME TW (728)        3  5 0
16/11 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      66  63  8 51.2  16/16*HORNY GOAT X (750)        3  6 0
17/15 I HATE THEM (597)         63  63  2 50.0  17/ 0*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)  2  3 0
18-17 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     31  39  2 44.3  18- 8 GLORY DISCIPLES (744)     2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-18 WARHAMMERS (75)          338 429 17 44.1  19-15*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    2  5 0
20/16 PURE POISON (478)         39  53  5 42.4  20/ 0 SECOND BANANAS (573)      1  0 1
21/19 IN QETERNUM (718)         55  75  5 42.3  21-14 THE OPERA (613)           1  2 0
22/20 TORUS (32)               202 279 19 42.0  22-20*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      1  2 0
23-21*GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)    12  18  2 40.0  23-18 DARQUE FORCES (396)       1  3 0
24/ 0*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)   2   3  0 40.0  24/21 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    1  3 0
25/22 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      36  58  3 38.3  25/23 TORUS (32)                1  7 0
26/23*HORNY GOAT X (750)         4   8  0 33.3  26-22*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)      1  9 0
27-24*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)       1   2  0 33.3  27/24*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   0  6 0
28-25*CLAN PENDRAGON (743)       3  22  0 12.0  28/ 0 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     0  1 0
29/26*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)    0   6  0  0.0  29-26 WARHAMMERS (75)           0  1 0
30-27*THE SHADOW GUILD (453)     0   1  0  0.0  30-27*THE SHADOW GUILD (453)    0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 348): PENNY of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 346): COLGATE SMILE of MY GENERATION (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 344): XANDAR of AVENGERS (Huckle Cat?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 299): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 321): MINI DRIVER of STREET WALKERS (Roadkill, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 315): SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 302): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 296): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 281): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 274): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 250): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 250): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 251): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 66): CRACKER JACKS of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 248): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 348): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 346): THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 344): NUMBERS GAME (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 299): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 321): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 315): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 302): LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 296): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 281): KIWI CONNECTION II (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 274): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 250): WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 250): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 251): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 66): BLACK LIGHTNING (Dark Angel, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 248): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 346): NORM QUESHA of MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 298): FALLON GRIMM of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 321): JOSIE WALES of STREET WALKERS (Roadkill, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 302): RED ALERT of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 295): AREOPOLITE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 273): G W BUSH of TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 250): RAPUNZEL of DARQUE FORCES V (Master Darque, mgr.)
                 (turn 249): SUGAR HILL GANG of RAP ATTACKS (Marma Duke, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 249): LOUIE MURH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 251): RED HOT CHILE PAPA of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
                            MONGOL HORDE of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
                            CROSS CZECH of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
                            YANKEE DOODLE of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
                            APPLE DANISH of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 66): CRACKER JACKS of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
                   (turn 65): BERTHOLD of SUDDENLY, THE VAN (She-Puppy, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in NORTH 
FORK.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  We now 
have a new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  PURE POISON now holds the 
crown and they are betting they can keep it.  Coming up with a solid 3-1-0 outing, I 
HATE THEM has advanced 8 places in the rankings.  It looks like the guys(?) at BLACK 
LIGHTNING had a good week as they went 4-0-0 to put them in 8th place.  I guess 
steroids help!  Hey everybody, watch out for LUMINOUS LOX, who flew up 29 points in 
the rankings after mashing HUMMUS HAWK like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  HUMMUS HAWK was bested by 
LUMINOUS LOX and drops 35 points.  In front of all the crowds, ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 
took the Duelmaster's crown for his own.  I give the bum two weeks.  4 out of 5 
gladiators surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid BLACK LIGHTNING, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does NORTH FORK really have that 
many liars?  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch OTTODROME TW's act in the arena.  
Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from BLACK LIGHTNING.  Well dang 
howdy, but if challenges were votes, ULTIMA REGUM would be president.  Although it 
may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  Challenging down 20 points was WRATH.  
Pretty soon he'll be using two shields and selling 'T.P.:  The only way to clean up' 
pins.  Well WRATH, just can't get an easy fight anymore can you?  You thought 
challenging down 20 points to VEGGIE MONSTER would be fun.  Right?  Wrong!  In a 
touching display by a 'touched' warrior, DONETO went after RUSTY, who was higher by 
22 points.  Well, when the dust settled, DONETO was bested by RUSTY.  INCREDIBLE HULK 
of FANTASTIC FIVE had better have a good reason for challenging down 8 points in a 
challenge which he won.  I thought INCREDIBLE HULK showed great skill and promise 
when he bested TOFU WARRIOR.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  HAWKEYE defied all odds and slew FOEFANA BANANA in the 
Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as FOEFANA BANANA's meat is 
notoriously tough.  In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, STRYCHNINE was mashed 
by ULTIMA REGUM, who let STRYCHNINE know that killing members of IN QETERNUM is a 
no-no.  Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with 
you and see what happens.   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in NORTH FORK have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Well, there goes another Spy 
Report.  Good luck in next week's fights.  And remember, you can pick your friends 
and you can pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown 
Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226      14   6  1   106       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LATKA 6940                   13   4  1   120       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-FROSTY 7332                  10   6  0   118       FAST FOOD (724)
 VEGGIE MONSTER 7224          14   6  1   109       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ENDEMIC 7265                 24  16  0   105       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
-QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          11   9  0    99       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 LUMINOUS LOX 6495            10   8  0    98       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 SLUGBAIT 6329                 8   0  1    95       I HATE THEM (597)
-GIZMO 6941                   14  12  1    93       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 ULTIMA REGUM 7076            17   9  0    92       IN QETERNUM (718)
 RAVAGE 7061                  12  14  2    92       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 SALAD SLAYER 7334            12   8  1    92       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 SPAWN 4283                   11   8  0    92       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TALKEETNA 7047               17  13  0    89       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
-BROOMSTICK 7057              13  10  1    88       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WRATH 7428                   10   5  2    87       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE 6934     12   1  0    86       THE OPERA (613)
-BIG MAC 7120                 13   7  0    83       FAST FOOD (724)
-DR. COX 7009                  8   3  1    83       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-WILHELM SCREAM 7162          11   5  0    81       OTTODROME TW (728)
 INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         13   6  0    80       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-NORTON 7010                   9   4  0    79       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PRACTICAL GENE 7349           9   6  1    76       OTTODROME TW (728)
 HUMMUS HAWK 7333             12   8  1    75       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 TENTH INNING 7255             8  12  0    75       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 TEMPTRESS 6671                6   1  0    71       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 TOFU WARRIOR 7223             8  12  0    70       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 DRAGO KAZOV 7100             13  11  1    69       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 HAWKEYE 7008                  9   5  1    69       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 SOUTH SPOON 7161             10   7  1    67       OTTODROME TW (728)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STRYCHNINE 4838              12   6  2    66       PURE POISON (478)
-BLIZZARD 7119                10   6  0    65       FAST FOOD (724)
 MISSISSIPPI QUEEN 7445        8   3  0    60       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SEWARD FOLLY 7436             9   5  0    56       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 GENCON 7259                  14  11  2    55       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 RUSTY 7296                   10  11  0    55       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 SOULTAKER 5455                9   8  0    54       I HATE THEM (597)
-ACE HARDWARE 7492             5   1  0    52       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-ASTROTRAIN 7352               9   6  0    51       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-CHRISTOS 7549                 7   7  1    51       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
 ARSENIC 4285                  7  10  1    50       PURE POISON (478)
 ALEX TREBEK 7624              3   0  1    48       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
-STARSCREAM 7419               5   8  0    47       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 THE CREEPSTER 6328            9   4  0    46       I HATE THEM (597)
 MASTER DARQUE 6835            7   1  0    45       I HATE THEM (597)
 DILECTONON FERIO 7483         4   7  0    41       IN QETERNUM (718)
-BLITZWING 7371                5   7  0    40       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 BLEEPING BLEEP 7466           5   8  0    40       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 TACTIS AEGER 7395             4  12  1    39       IN QETERNUM (718)
-BIG PIGEON 7411               4   3  0    39       THE OPERA (613)
 JACK B. NIMBLE 7446           7   4  0    38       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-WRAITH 6587                   6   3  2    37       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
-ACCUSER 6589                  5   2  0    36       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 WARFARIN 5231                 4   1  0    35       PURE POISON (478)
-BRO'TOR 7546                  6   8  0    34       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EMERALD 7478                  7   4  0    33       LAND OF OZ (217)
-TURQ 7548                     8   5  1    32       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
-PARSIFAL 7414                 4   0  0    30       THE OPERA (613)
-EXPOSED 7595                  2   0  0    30       HORNY GOAT X (750)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EVIL ONE 6586                 4   3  1    28       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 RED VIXEN 7596                2   0  0    28       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 CANUM MOERDART 7531           4   3  0    27       IN QETERNUM (718)
-WENDY 7552                    3   1  1    27       FAST FOOD (724)
 KHAN 7503                     4   5  1    26       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-CRANE KNIGHT 7524             4   3  1    25       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
 RACHAEL MADDOW 7632           2   0  0    25       MSNBC (755)
 AEGRE ID MILES 7659           2   0  0    25       IN QETERNUM (718)
 DING DONG 7516                5   2  1    24       LAND OF OZ (217)
-EAGLE KNIGHT 7525             2   3  1    24       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DONETO 7534                   2   2  1    23       OTTODROME TW (728)
 CATHERD 7519                  3   2  0    22       TORUS (32)
 FENCE 7498                    6   3  0    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
 GLUTTONY 7539                 5   2  0    21       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 COLOSSUS 7663                 2   0  0    20       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-THUNDERCRACKER 7467           2   5  0    19       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-DEI-MAN 7547                  2   5  0    15       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
-MIMI 7450                     2   2  0    15       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-EINSTEIN 7622                 1   0  0    15       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 CURARE 5132                   3   5  0    14       PURE POISON (478)
 FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639           2   2  0    13       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
-AMBITIOUS LARD 7582           1   0  0    13       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
-LAWRENCE O'DONNELL 7635       1   0  0    13       MSNBC (755)
 DONE FOR 7678                 1   0  0    13       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
-OWL KNIGHT 7521               3   3  0    12       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
-LYTHAR KATHAL 7543            1   4  0    12       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 THE PUNISHER 5172             2   4  1    11       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-HAWK KNIGHT 7522              2   5  0    11       GUARDIAN KNIGHTS (741)
-KINGDOM 7627                  1   1  0    11       GLORY DISCIPLES (744)
-SCORCHER 7517                 2   4  0    10       WARHAMMERS (75)
-ACID KITTY 7533               1   0  0    10       OTTODROME TW (728)
 LEMURE 7686                   1   0  0    10       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
-CHICKEN A LA KING 7583        1   1  1     9       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 SUZY SUICIDE 7682             1   0  1     7       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 BLACK BOLT 7664               1   1  1     7       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
-THE HUNTRESS 7542             1   4  0     7       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-MORGAN LEFEY 7540             1   4  0     7       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
 NICK O'TINE 7662              1   1  0     7       PURE POISON (478)
-CAPTURED PORK 7581            0   1  0     7       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
-DYLAN RATIGAN 7634            0   1  0     7       MSNBC (755)
 LEATHER N LACE 7677           1   0  0     5       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 CHUCKY 7683                   1   0  0     5       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
-LIAM SILVERLEAF 7541          0   5  0     5       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-XANDER MANX 7544              0   5  0     5       CLAN PENDRAGON (743)
-ZEKE 7584                     1   1  0     4       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CACTORUS 7694                 0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
 LACE MUTTON 7676              0   1  0     1       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7684          0   1  0     1       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 SALVATORUS 7693               0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
-QUILL 4080                    0   1  0     1       THE SHADOW GUILD (453)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
COLD BAY BREEZE 7673    0  1 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 FRENCH FRYER          316  NONE
COLD COLD BAY 7696      0  1 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 BANANA SPLIT          316  NONE
DENALI PEAK 7495        1  3 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 KHAN 7503             312  NOT REVENGED
HEMPLOCK 7640           0  1 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  CHICKEN A LA KIN 7583 314  REVENGED
FOEFANA BANANA          0  0 0 DARK ARENA           HAWKEYE 7008          316  NONE
CYRUS THE VIRUS 7685    0  1 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  BLACK BOLT 7664       316   
MARCUS 7545             6  6 0 GLORY DISCIPLES 744  WRATH 7428            312  NOT REVENGED

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
FALCON KNIGHT 7523      1  4 0 GUARDIAN KNIGHTS 741 DING DONG 7516        314   
DUD A 7690              0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     ROYAL PAIN            316  NONE
DUD B 7691              0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     WINGED MONKEY         316  NONE
DOMINUS NOX 7425        5  7 0 IN QETERNUM 718      STRYCHNINE 4838       314  JUST REVENGED
MICE CREAM 6265        13  6 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            314   
FANCY LAD 7675          0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 SUZY SUICIDE 7682     316   
GONNA DIE 7679          0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 PIZZA VILLAIN         316  NONE
BYE 7689                0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 BANANA SPLIT          316  NONE
GREEN EGGS HAM 7692     0  1 0 TORUS 32             BANANA SPLIT          316  NONE
SUNSET PEACE 7592       0  1 0 WARHAMMERS 75        WENDY 7552            312  NOT REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

The LBA wishes to confirm the addition of Horny Goat -- X, managed by Grimm, to it's
team for the Turf War -- Assurnasirbanipal

As captain of the LBA, I confirm Shewish Buffet to be a participating member, managed
by One Armed Bandit (OAB). -- Assur

Skaven -- generally I don't care when my guys get killed.  Not so happy if guys get
killed on 40 point down challenges. -- slugbait

Dylan Ratigan -- Only someone from MSNBC could be so inclined to failure.  Better
luck next time. -- Aegre IdMiles, In Qeternum

Wilhelm Scream -- Good fight!  Thought you had Ultima Regum there for a second.  Ya
know, he was one of my first warriors and the only one who's left alive.  By all
rights, he should suck.  As you can see, though, he just keeps winning. -- Vae
Victus, In Qeternum

All -- I, Vae Victus of In Qeternum, Captain of Club Fed, do hereby acknowledge the
following managers and teams:  Obsidian Order, managed by Skaven; Devil's Rejects,
managed by Lucifer; and... (mumbles, rolls eyes, and sighs) Real Men Wear Pink,
managed by Glitter Boy.  (sighs dejectedly again)  Good luck in the Turf War! -- Vae
Victus

My name is Mannequin, mgr of Second Bananas, Captain of Oz Feast Le Bananas.  I am
confirming the other members of our team -- Oz, of Land of Oz; Slugbait, of Mystic
Orc Feast; and Le Pentarque, of Les Turfistes.  Now taking bets on the number of
deaths at the hands of the Second Bananas guild in Turf War 8.  The current over/
under is 2.5.  Please see the North Fork Gladiatorial Commission for more
information!

Hello boys!  I, Glitterboy, am announcing that "Real Men Wear Pink" will be fighting
in the upcoming turf war.  My boys will be fighting for the alliance "Club Fed."
After all, somebody has to give these barbarians some fashion sense! *wink*

Spawn -- A good fight.  I almost had you.  You shall see me again. -- Ravage

Glory Disciples -- Turn 316, last chance for bloodfeud.  Of course, you can keep
coming... I can use the wins. -- Skaven

I'm dead meat! -- Green Eggs Ham's final words

If you sent personals and they aren't here, it is probably because email was down for
several hours last night and this morning.  The personals WILL show up, almost
certainly, next turn. -- the Editor

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HAWKEYE viciously butchered FOEFANA BANANA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GREEN EGGS HAM was murdered by BANANA SPLIT in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
COLD COLD BAY was assassinated by BANANA SPLIT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
DUD B was butchered by WINGED MONKEY in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
DUD A was murdered by ROYAL PAIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
GONNA DIE was viciously butchered by PIZZA VILLAIN in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
BYE was butchered by BANANA SPLIT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
COLD BAY BREEZE was put to death by FRENCH FRYER in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
ULTIMA REGUM viciously subdued STRYCHNINE in a 5 minute expert's Bloodfeud duel.
WRATH was overpowered by VEGGIE MONSTER in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
INCREDIBLE HULK narrowly defeated TOFU WARRIOR in a 3 minute expert's Challenge match.
TENTH INNING was subdued by RAVAGE in a 1 minute master's Challenge match.
PRACTICAL GENE handily defeated SOULTAKER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
TACTIS AEGER was overpowered by SOUTH SPOON in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
MISSISSIPPI QUEEN defeated ARSENIC in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
DONETO was devastated by RUSTY in a exciting 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
THE PUNISHER was devastated by CATHERD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
GLUTTONY was savagely defeated by JACK B. NIMBLE in a 5 minute Challenge match.
FAIRBANKS GLOW was outlasted by DING DONG in a unpopular 13 minute Challenge fight.
AEGRE ID MILES devastated CURARE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
SPAWN was savagely defeated by ARTICHOKE ON THIS! in a 2 minute veteran's Title duel.
ENDEMIC viciously subdued SALAD SLAYER in a popular 1 minute brutal master's fray.
HUMMUS HAWK was overpowered by LUMINOUS LOX in a 1 minute uneven fight.
DRAGO KAZOV was beaten by TALKEETNA in a popular 3 minute expert's fight.
SLUGBAIT overpowered TEMPTRESS in a 1 minute uneven match.
GENCON beat DILECTONON FERIO in a action packed 1 minute duel.
THE CREEPSTER savagely defeated EMERALD in a exciting 7 minute bloody fray.
WARFARIN was unbelievably bested by BLEEPING BLEEP in a 2 minute gory bout.
MASTER DARQUE overpowered KHAN in a 3 minute gory uneven duel.
CANUM MOERDART was overpowered by ALEX TREBEK in a 1 minute gory one-sided match.
RED VIXEN overpowered NICK O'TINE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
FENCE was overcome by RACHAEL MADDOW in a crowd pleasing 2 minute match.
COLOSSUS vanquished CACTORUS in a exciting 2 minute mismatched fight.
BLACK BOLT narrowly killed CYRUS THE VIRUS in a 2 minute gruesome novice's struggle.
CHUCKY defeated LACE MUTTON in a 2 minute novice's match.
JACK THE RIPPER was overcome by LEATHER N LACE in a 1 minute beginner's match.
LEMURE overpowered SALVATORUS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SUZY SUICIDE killed FANCY LAD in a 3 minute novice's competition.
DONE FOR handily defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         STRIKING ATTACK   85 -  84 -  6      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         LUNGING ATTACK    68 -  69 -  4      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         TOTAL PARRY       41 -  43 -  1      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         WALL OF STEEL     30 -  32 -  2      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -  21 -  1      46  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  39 -  2      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         AIMED BLOW        53 -  68 -  2      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   23 -  42 -  3      35  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  13 -  1      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -  28 -  0      28  |

Turn 316 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     6 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  7         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2     AIMED BLOW         4 -  5         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  TOTAL PARRY    
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  9         2  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226    14   6  1  106 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    ENDEMIC 7265               24  16  0  105 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
BASHING ATTACK   LUMINOUS LOX 6495          10   8  0   98 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
STRIKING ATTACK  SLUGBAIT 6329               8   0  1   95 I HATE THEM (597)
TOTAL PARRY      ULTIMA REGUM 7076          17   9  0   92 IN QETERNUM (718)
WALL OF STEEL    SPAWN 4283                 11   8  0   92 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
AIMED BLOW       TEMPTRESS 6671              6   1  0   71 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
PARRY-LUNGE      DRAGO KAZOV 7100           13  11  1   69 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
SLASHING ATTACK  GENCON 7259                14  11  2   55 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ARSENIC 4285.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was EMERALD 7478.  The ten other most popular fighters were JACK B. NIMBLE 7446, THE 
CREEPSTER 6328, TOFU WARRIOR 7223, RACHAEL MADDOW 7632, ARTICHOKE ON THIS! 7226, 
TALKEETNA 7047, CACTORUS 7694, MASTER DARQUE 6835, SUZY SUICIDE 7682, and HAWKEYE 
7008.

The least popular fighter this week was DING DONG 7516.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FANCY LAD 7675, SALVATORUS 7693, FENCE 7498, NICK O'TINE 7662, 
DILECTONON FERIO 7483, TEMPTRESS 6671, HUMMUS HAWK 7333, CURARE 5132, GLUTTONY 7539, 
and TACTIS AEGER 7395.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

ENDEMIC (47-7265) BLACK LIGHTNING (738)