DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/31/2012    Duedate: 08/27/2012

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-318

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

FROSTY
FAST FOOD (724)
(47-7332) [11-6-0,134]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FROSTY                         ALEX TREBEK
FAST FOOD (724)                BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
(47-7332) [11-6-0,134]         (47-7624) [5-0-1,63]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

TOFU WARRIOR                   PRACTICAL GENE
VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)          OTTODROME TW (728)
(47-7223) [10-12-0,88]         (47-7349) [9-7-1,81]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)        61
2. LAND OF OZ (217)            55      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. HORNY GOAT X (750)          54      Unchartered Team
4. SHEWISH BUFFET (748)        53
5. FAST FOOD (724)             51      KNIGHT-CLUB (761)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*KNIGHT-CLUB (761)          3   1  0 75.0   1/ 1 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     9  6 0
 2/29*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)       5   3  0 62.5   2/10 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          7  3 0
 3/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         674 419 24 61.7   3/ 8 LAND OF OZ (217)          6  4 0
 4/ 1*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)      8   5  2 61.5   4/ 7 I HATE THEM (597)         6  4 0
 5/ 3 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     67  44  4 60.4   5/12 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    6  7 0
 6/ 4 SECOND BANANAS (573)     232 154 21 60.1   6/ 4 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      6  9 2
 7/ 0*SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)     3   2  1 60.0   7/ 6*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)     6  9 1
 8/ 0*ILLUMINATED ONES (767)     3   2  0 60.0   8/ 3 IN QETERNUM (718)         6  9 0
 9/ 0*NUKE TEST (769)            3   2  0 60.0   9/22 DARQUE FORCES (396)       5  0 0
10/ 0*DREAMS OF KADATH (762)     3   2  0 60.0  10/13*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     5  2 1
11/ 0*OBG! (765)                 3   2  0 60.0  11/11 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      5  5 1
12/ 7 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   344 232 25 59.7  12/14*JOMSVIKINGS (756)         5  5 1
13/ 8 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    84  57  3 59.6  13/ 0 BASH BROS PARK (766)      5  5 0
14/ 5 LES TURFISTES (727)       41  29  1 58.6  14/ 2 PURE POISON (478)         5 10 0
15/10 OTTODROME TW (728)        49  36  3 57.6  15- 5 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)     4  0 0
16/ 0 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     91  68  7 57.2  16/24*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      4  1 0
17/11 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         797 614 40 56.5  17/19 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    4  3 0
18-12 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     72  58  3 55.4  18/17 OTTODROME TW (728)        4  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 9 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     25  22  3 53.2  19/ 9*HORNY GOAT X (750)        4  7 1
20/14 DARQUE FORCES (396)      228 202 17 53.0  20/18*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)  4 11 0
21/13 FAST FOOD (724)           55  49  1 52.9  21/ 0*KNIGHT-CLUB (761)         3  1 0
22/17 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      70  64  9 52.2  22/ 0*SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)    3  2 1
23-15 BLACK LIGHTNING (738)    175 164 12 51.6  23/ 0*DREAMS OF KADATH (762)    3  2 0
24/19 I HATE THEM (597)         66  66  2 50.0  24/25 FAST FOOD (724)           3  2 0
25/16*FRIENDS (759)             20  20  0 50.0  25/ 0*OBG! (765)                3  2 0
26/ 6*MSNBC (755)                5   5  0 50.0  26/ 0*ILLUMINATED ONES (767)    3  2 0
27/20 CHEERS (659)              44  54  3 44.9  27/ 0*NUKE TEST (769)           3  2 0
28/21 PURE POISON (478)         44  58  5 43.1  28/ 0 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     3  2 0
29/22 IN QETERNUM (718)         59  81  5 42.1  29/21 SECOND BANANAS (573)      3  3 1
30/24 TORUS (32)               202 287 19 41.3  30/30*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   3  3 0
31/ 0 BASH BROS PARK (766)      14  21  1 40.0  31/16*MSNBC (755)               3  3 0
32/18*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)      6   9  1 40.0  32/23 LES TURFISTES (727)       3  4 0
33/ 0*TEAM TOONS (764)           2   3  0 40.0  33/26 CHEERS (659)              3  7 1
34/ 0*THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)    2   3  0 40.0  34/28*FRIENDS (759)             3  7 0
35/26 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      39  65  4 37.5  35/15 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     3  7 0
36/27*JOMSVIKINGS (756)         13  22  2 37.1  36-20 GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)     2  1 0
37/28*HORNY GOAT X (750)         7  13  1 35.0  37/ 0*TEAM TOONS (764)          2  3 0
38/34*ERRATA! (760)              2   4  0 33.3  38/ 0*THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)   2  3 0
39/32*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)    3   8  0 27.3  39/35*ERRATA! (760)             2  4 0
40/30*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)   4  11  0 26.7  40/ 0*THANATOS (771)            1  3 0
41/ 0*THANATOS (771)             1   3  0 25.0  41/29 TORUS (32)                1 11 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                                STATUS OF THE TW8
                       Look For A Great Event With 8 Teams
Just a little "clean up" work on some teams yet to do as of July 6.

M*MBO (Master Darque)           Decl  Conf  CertsIn
Ottodrome (Otto X)               y     y     y
Bubba's TW Army (Bubbagnoosh)    y     y     y
Darque Forces (Master Darque)    y     y     y
Fast Food (Madwand)              y     y     y

OZ FEAST LE BANANA (Mannequin)  Decl  Conf  Certs In
Second Bananas (Mannequin)       y     y     y
Mystic Orc Feast (Slugbait)      y     y     y
Land of Oz (Oz)                  y     y     y
Les Turfistes (Le Pentarque)     y     y     y

CLUB FED (Vae Victus)           Decl  Conf  CertsIn
In Qeternum (Vae Victus)         y     y     y
Obsidian Order (Skaven)          y     y     y
Devil's Rejects (Lucifer)        y     y     y
Real Men Wear Pink (Glitter Boy) y     y     N

LBA+ (Assur)                    Decl  Conf  CertsIn
Bash Bros Park (Assur)           y     y     y
Shewish Buffet (OAB)             y     y     y
Horny Goat 'X (Grimm)            y     y     y
Cheers (Otis)                    y     y     y

Deep PMS (Deep Thought)         Decl  Conf  CertIn
Jomsvkiings (Sigurd F)           y     y     N
All Star Nanas (The Mun)         N     N     N
MSNBC (Deep Thought)             y     y     y
Friends (Scruffy Puff)           y     y     N

BOB (The Greek Guy)             Decl  Conf  CertIn
Lurocian Devils (TGG)            y     y     y       CHAMPION Temptess
Willburys 47 (Rascally Rabbit)   y     y     N
Satan's Ranchers (the Dark One)  y     y     N
I Hate Them (Rillion)            y     y     N

gSVOP  (HowlinWolf )            Decl  Conf  CertIn
OBG (HowlinWolf)                 N     N     y
Team Toons (Baron Bentsword)     N     N     y
???? (????)                      N     N     y

LOL (Stromlord)                 Decl  Conf  CertIn
Alaskan Pipeline (Stormlord)     y     y     N
Serpent's Hold 200(Kisanth)      y     y     y
Errata (JE)                      y     y     y
Dreams Of Kadath (Reaper)        y     y     N

UNMATCHED (but received) CERTS
They Must Die

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     It took Uncle D three whole days to find the right spot to build his team's
headquarters and his club.  Once his eyes had seen the two-story barnhouse, he knew
that this was the spot.  The first floor would be used for training his fighters
during the day and a bar/dance floor at night.  Upstairs would be split in half, one
side for living quarters for team Knight-Club and the other for dining and gambling.
As he watched the builders work he heard his team walk up.
     "Hi, Uncle D!" Honey Bartender said, smiling at him.
     "Wow!  Hear that beat they're making?" replied Deejay Spinner.
     "It's ok, could be better, though," Lily Uptight torted.
     "How is everyone feeling today?  The Wars are starting and we must be ready,"
Uncle D asked his warriors.  As smiles spread across all their faces, he knew they
were ready.  He only hoped his Alliance would do okay.
     "Are they following the blueprints right?" asked Charlie Clipboard.
     "Does it matter?  You couldn't stop them!" Johnny Bouncer teased.
     "You think brute strength is the only answer, you are sooo wrong!" Charlie
quipped back.
     "Well, it's time you all hit the tents.  I'm going to talk with the other
managers of Shiv Art and plan out our strategies," Uncle D informed them as he walked
away.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 350): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): VENGEANCE of THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): UDARN VOYL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 323): ANDROMEDA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 317): ULTIMA REGUM of IN QUETERNUM (Vae Victis, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): FILING FEE of BASH BROS LAWYER (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): MORIS NAHR of MIDDLE WAY 21 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): MAD CAT of INSP GADGETS MINIONS (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 650): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 346): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 301): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 317): VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 304): THE MYRMIDONS (Sigurd Fafnisbane, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 283): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 276): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): ARENAS III (Kharadmon?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 252): BASH BROS CANDY (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 68): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 250): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 348): TAXES of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 300): ASQUITH of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 322): CELESTIAL ROSE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 317): ARTICHOKE ON THIS of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist)
                               SPAWN of FANTASTIC FIVE (?, mgr.)
                   (turn 316): ENDEMIC of BLACK LIGHTING (Dark Angel, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 303): THRESHPACK of PUBLIC ENEMY (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 297): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 253): BOOB of PALINDROMES (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     It's a busy evening at the tavern when he walks in, as it usually is on
tournament day and as usual, the talk is of the fights.  He is a completely average
Harkeny, about 5ft 11 in, mid to late thirties, receding hairline, and a little
overweight.  At first you just get a glance at him as he makes his way through the
boisterous room, but few details catch your eye.  The thing that stands out most is
the abundance of some truly splendid scars and a few new pink tinged bandages, with
one splendid one on his head that will surely yield a beautiful scar of its own.  As
he passes your table he makes momentary eye contact and that's when you see his eyes.
Steely and dark, they impart his wishes without a need for words.  This is not a man
to cross lightly.  Obviously he has been in the arena today, but where?  Who did he
fight?  The face eludes you.  "He is probably just one of those Initiate Total Parry
scum that seem to always wear the plate mail and full helms.  Someone should do
somehting about those Scums," you think to yourself.
     He sits, alone, as a tavern wench approaches with a smile and a swish of the
hips saying, "The usual, Ultima?"  He lets slip what appears to be a rare, small grin
and simply nods.  It's then that you realize it's him!  The new Duelmaster!  Quietly
you watch as he drinks by himself and wonder if the rumors are true.  Did he really
win all those fights without a single Expert rating?  How could it be?  True, he
seems somewhat clumsy, but absolutely zero Experts?  Nah!  You think to yourself,
"That just can't be."
     Regardless, you are celebrating surviving your own first arena fight today and
it's a good day to be alive!  Your only hope is that someday, you too will hoist your
sword in victory as the Duelmaster.  A walking legend is here in the same tavern as
you.  It's surreal, though, you think to yourself, he just looks like a man.  Maybe
you really can become the best one day.  You raise your glass to him, and to your
surprise and joy, he notices and raises his in return.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of NORTH FORK!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp 
Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  The proverbial rising comet can only 
hope to compare with DARQUE FORCES' team record!  A 5-0-0 week and now a firm grasp 
on a 9th place ranking.  PURE POISON bore the brunt of major assault on their 
standings this week as they dropped to 14th position as the result of going 2-3-0!  
My tutors were fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This 
week MSNBC went 2-3-0 and fell 15 notches into 31st!  LUROCIAN DEVILS bore the brunt 
of major assault on their standings this week as they dropped to 35th position as the 
result of going 0-5-0!  My praise to SHEWISH BUFFET for their 4-1-0 week this time 
out.  Indeed, it was a skillfully fought round deserving of notice!  A new guild, 
KNIGHT-CLUB, entered NORTH FORK with a clash this turn, showing off a 3-1-0 record.  
Indeed, a worthy addition to the city guilds.  WRATH caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested LUMINOUS LOX and was awarded 31 
points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, PAUL put down MASTER 
DARQUE, causing him to lose 14 points of recognition in the process.  This time out 
FROSTY made his bid for the throne as he challenged ULTIMA REGUM in an all out 
contest of skill for possession of the title!  This time victory fell to the grasp of 
the usurper.  All hail FROSTY, Duelmaster of NORTH FORK!  Would you believe that over 
half of the old women in NORTH FORK seem to feel that they could fight better than 
you gladiators?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  NORTH FORK, city of gladiators!  
Mighty among the names of thy guilds is ALASKAN PIPELINE, a guild shunned and avoided 
by many in the weekly duels.  Apparently the stalwarts of DREAMS OF KADATH are 
catching the bulk of jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the 
avoids.  Loose talk at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the 
knowledge that many fighters are after THUNDERCRACKER.  Watch your back!  I can not 
but mention with disdain the name of ALEX TREBEK who this week posted a TV challenge 
to a warrior a full 15 points below in the rankings.  I thought ALEX TREBEK showed 
great skill and promise when he defeated ARSENIC.  All right, so I slept through it!  
Big deal!   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  The warrior's path is harsh.  For mediocrity there is but one 
reward--death.  This past week LUMINOUS LOX, at 11-9-0, departed NORTH FORK forever.  
Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms.  One thing is sure, better a 
dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times 
already in NORTH FORK.  Nice atmosphere you have here!  Ahh, but I can hear the 
spires of a far off city calling to me.  I must away!  Till next we meet remember - 
the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a different story!-- Zontani Sharp 
Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FROSTY 7332                  11   6  0   134       FAST FOOD (724)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VEGGIE MONSTER 7224          16   6  1   118       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 WRATH 7428                   11   5  3   118       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 SALAD SLAYER 7334            14   8  1   115       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 SLUGBAIT 6329                 9   0  1   110       I HATE THEM (597)
 TALKEETNA 7047               19  13  0   103       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 TENTH INNING 7255            10  12  0   102       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          12   9  0   101       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 GIZMO 6941                   15  12  1   100       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 WILHELM SCREAM 7162          12   5  0    96       OTTODROME TW (728)
 BROOMSTICK 7057              14  10  1    95       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BIG MAC 7120                 14   7  0    95       FAST FOOD (724)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RAVAGE 7061                  12  15  2    94       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         14   7  0    92       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 ULTIMA REGUM 7076            18  10  0    91       IN QETERNUM (718)
 LATKA 6940                   13   5  1    91       SECOND BANANAS (573)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TOFU WARRIOR 7223            10  12  0    88       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 PETIT JARDINIA 7154          10   4  0    88       LES TURFISTES (727)
-DR. COX 7009                  8   3  1    83       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PRACTICAL GENE 7349           9   7  1    81       OTTODROME TW (728)
 NO BATHROOM 7764              9   1  1    78       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 BLIZZARD 7119                11   6  0    77       FAST FOOD (724)
 DRAGO KAZOV 7100             14  11  1    76       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 HUMMUS HAWK 7333             13   9  1    74       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 FRASIER 6224                 12   9  0    73       CHEERS (659)
 NORTON 7010                   9   5  0    72       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-DEMONIC HEX 5530             14   8  0    70       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 STRYCHNINE 4838              13   7  2    70       PURE POISON (478)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARLA 6225                    9  11  1    66       CHEERS (659)
 SOUTH SPOON 7161             10   8  1    65       OTTODROME TW (728)
 YORL 7153                     8   4  0    65       LES TURFISTES (727)
 TEMPTRESS 6671                6   3  0    65       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 SOULTAKER 5455               10   8  0    63       I HATE THEM (597)
 ALEX TREBEK 7624              5   0  1    63       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 DIRT BOGART 7430              6   3  1    62       LES TURFISTES (727)
 SEWARD FOLLY 7436            10   5  0    61       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 ACE HARDWARE 7492             6   1  0    61       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-DEATH KISS 5751              13  10  1    60       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EMILY 7453                    5   4  0    56       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
-GENCON 7259                  14  11  2    55       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
-RUSTY 7296                   10  11  0    55       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 STARSCREAM 7419               6   8  0    55       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 ASTROTRAIN 7352              10   6  0    54       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 PAUL 6861                     4   2  0    54       CHEERS (659)
 NORM 6227                     6  14  1    53       CHEERS (659)
 DILECTONON FERIO 7483         5   8  0    52       IN QETERNUM (718)
 EXPOSED 7595                  3   0  0    50       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 JACK B. NIMBLE 7446           8   5  0    47       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BLITZWING 7371                6   7  0    47       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 EMERALD 7478                  8   5  0    46       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ARSENIC 4285                  7  12  1    42       PURE POISON (478)
 DING DONG 7516                6   2  1    42       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WARFARIN 5231                 5   2  0    41       PURE POISON (478)
-BLEEPING BLEEP 7466           5   8  0    40       BLACK LIGHTNING (738)
 THE CREEPSTER 6328            9   5  0    38       I HATE THEM (597)
 WRAITH 6587                   6   4  2    38       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 BRAVE NEW RODENT 7754         4   2  0    36       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 ACCUSER 6589                  6   3  0    35       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 KHAN 7503                     5   5  1    35       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 CANUM MOERDART 7531           5   4  0    35       IN QETERNUM (718)
-ASPHYXIA 6330                 5   4  0    34       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GLUTTONY 7539                 6   2  0    33       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 EVIL ONE 6586                 5   4  1    32       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 FENCE 7498                    8   3  0    31       LAND OF OZ (217)
 MASTER DARQUE 6835            7   2  0    31       I HATE THEM (597)
-ANITA BLAKE 7032              4   1  0    31       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 DONETO 7534                   3   2  1    29       OTTODROME TW (728)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ASP 7591                      1   0  0    29       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639           4   2  0    28       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 SUZY SUICIDE 7682             3   0  1    27       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
-ASTER 6667                    4   1  0    26       GOTHIC MINISTRY (592)
 WENDY 7552                    3   2  1    25       FAST FOOD (724)
 NICK O'TINE 7662              3   1  0    25       PURE POISON (478)
 CHICKEN A LA KING 7583        2   1  1    25       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 YRSA 7671                     4   3  0    24       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 THUNDERCRACKER 7467           3   5  0    24       DARQUE FORCES (396)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COLOSSUS 7663                 3   1  0    23       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 RACHAEL MADDOW 7632           2   1  0    23       MSNBC (755)
 AEGRE ID MILES 7659           3   1  0    21       IN QETERNUM (718)
 LAWRENCE O'DONNELL 7635       1   1  0    20       MSNBC (755)
 KIKI 7485                     3   2  0    19       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 AMBITIOUS LARD 7582           2   0  0    19       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 CURARE 5132                   4   6  0    18       PURE POISON (478)
 GRIMHILD 7668                 4   3  0    18       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 BLACK BOLT 7664               2   2  2    18       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 MONICA 7706                   2   1  0    18       FRIENDS (759)
 OPPENHEIMER 7625              1   0  1    18       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 JOEY 7708                     5   2  0    17       FRIENDS (759)
 MIMI 7450                     3   2  0    17       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 CHRIS MATTHEWS 7631           1   0  0    17       MSNBC (755)
 RACHEL 7711                   4   4  0    16       FRIENDS (759)
 EINSTEIN 7622                 1   1  0    16       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 DYLAN RATIGAN 7634            1   1  0    16       MSNBC (755)
 GAUTREK 7666                  2   3  0    15       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 CONVICTED BEEF 7578           1   0  0    15       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 RU BRINGER 7510               1   0  0    15       LES TURFISTES (727)
 VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE 7580      1   0  0    15       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 LEGION 7440                   1   1  0    14       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 MILK STOUT 7594               0   2  0    14       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 CAPTURED PORK 7581            0   2  0    14       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 TOUPEE ARNOLD 7805            1   0  0    13       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 ZEKE 7584                     1   2  0    13       LAND OF OZ (217)
 HAM BURGLAR 7698              0   1  0    13       FAST FOOD (724)
 SNAGGLEPUSS 7739              0   1  0    13       TEAM TOONS (764)
 VOLUND 7670                   2   5  1    12       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 THE GOLDEN EGG 7806           1   0  1    11       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 ROOT WIZARD 7660              1   0  0    11       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 ELDER THANG 7731              1   0  0    11       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 TAINTED WHEAT 7725            1   0  0    11       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 MAUL CHOLESTEROL 7657         1   0  0    11       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 ODOBAN 7715                   1   0  0    11       ERRATA! (760)
 BUGS 7737                     1   0  0    11       TEAM TOONS (764)
 BULL LONEY 7804               1   0  0    10       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 HIRO 7803                     1   0  0    10       NUKE TEST (769)
 DEPUTY FIFE 7768              1   0  0    10       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PAT 7644                      1   0  0    10       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 DUMBO 7791                    1   0  0    10       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 LAKEFRONT 7714                1   0  0    10       ERRATA! (760)
 M. CHARDONNAY 7687            1   0  0    10       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 COBRA 7704                    1   0  0    10       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 REBECCA 7789                  1   0  0    10       CHEERS (659)
 SURFER JOE 7770               1   0  0    10       OBG! (765)
 AVER 7667                     1   5  1     9       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 BIKINI ATOLL 7799             1   0  0     9       NUKE TEST (769)
 THE DARK ONE 7747             1   0  0     9       I HATE THEM (597)
 WHAT'D I SAY 7742             0   1  0     9       OBG! (765)
 LOS ALAMOS 7801               0   1  0     9       NUKE TEST (769)
 STING 7656                    1   0  0     8       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OH BOY 7746                   1   0  0     8       OBG! (765)
 ATROCITY AWAKENED 7729        1   0  0     8       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 GAIA 7813                     1   0  0     8       THANATOS (771)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7738           1   0  0     8       TEAM TOONS (764)
 LONELY TRUCHER 7724           2   0  0     7       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 NK 7800                       1   0  0     7       NUKE TEST (769)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7684          1   2  0     7       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 WAKING DREAMS 7728            1   0  0     7       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 MY LITTLE GTO 7745            0   1  0     7       OBG! (765)
 RON 7507                      0   1  0     7       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ 7741        0   1  0     7       TEAM TOONS (764)
 ICE WIND 7758                 0   1  0     7       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 SERIAL COWBOY 7661            0   1  0     7       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 JONHY BOUNCER 7718            1   0  0     6       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 JOCLYN JOYBRINGER 7777        1   0  0     6       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 SKY PILOT 7769                1   0  0     6       OBG! (765)
 SYANNE SHADEBREAKER 7780      1   0  0     6       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 CHARLIE CLIPBOARD 7720        1   0  0     6       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 DEEJAY SPINNER 7719           1   0  0     6       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 LENOLIN LIGHTBEARER 7776      1   0  0     5       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 MR HECKLES 7797               1   0  0     5       FRIENDS (759)
 TEACUPS 7790                  1   0  0     5       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 CHUCKY 7683                   1   2  0     5       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 MY LAST TWENTY 7793           0   1  0     5       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 SIBERIAN WASTES 7802          0   1  0     5       NUKE TEST (769)
 SHADOW OF A SEASON 7727       0   1  0     5       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 BILL 7645                     0   1  0     5       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 CHRIS HAYES 7695              0   1  0     5       MSNBC (755)
 LUMBER JACK 7723              0   2  0     2       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 PETROCIAN PEACEMAKER 7778     0   1  0     1       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 CLOSED MONDAYS 7749           0   1  0     1       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 PARA 7767                     0   1  0     1       ERRATA! (760)
 SMALL WORLD 7794              0   1  0     1       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 RATTLER 7654                  0   1  0     1       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 AXEMAN EWING 7808             0   1  0     1       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 ROOSTER COGBURN 7807          0   1  0     1       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 CLANCY 7713                   0   1  0     1       ERRATA! (760)
 FLY PIZZA PIE 7646            0   1  0     1       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756         0   1  0     1       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 KIND HUSBAND 7784             0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
 SELENE 7810                   0   1  0     1       THANATOS (771)
 ENCORE DEBOUT 7788            0   1  0     1       LES TURFISTES (727)
 CHERRI BOMB 7716              0   1  0     1       ERRATA! (760)
 SITKA SERENITY 7796           0   1  0     1       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 LILY UPTIGHT 7722             0   1  0     1       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 FLOWER POWER 7792             0   1  0     1       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 HAY PATE 7647                 0   1  0     1       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 KIND FATHER 7787              0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7771           0   1  0     1       TEAM TOONS (764)
 EDARD EYEBRIGHT 7779          0   1  0     1       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 HELIOS 7809                   0   1  0     1       THANATOS (771)
 KIND HERDSMAN 7785            0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
 KIND FARMER 7786              0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
 URANUS 7811                   0   1  0     1       THANATOS (771)
 ADEO MORI SERVUS 7782         0   1  0     1       IN QETERNUM (718)
 JAMICE 7798                   0   1  0     1       FRIENDS (759)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
HEALY HORRENDOUS 7795   0  1 0 ALASKAN PIPELINE 714 FLUSH THE JOHN        318  NONE
HEMPLOCK 7640           0  1 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  CHICKEN A LA KIN 7583 314  REVENGED
CYRUS THE VIRUS 7685    0  1 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  BLACK BOLT 7664       316   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DONE DEAL 7783          0  1 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  TOTO'S REVENGE        318  NONE
LEMURE 7686             1  2 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  BLACK BOLT 7664       318   
NAVIGATOR'S TALE 7730   0  1 0 DREAMS OF KADATH 762 OPPENHEIMER 7625      318   
THE PUNISHER 5172       2  6 1 FANTASTIC FIVE 477   FOEFANA BANANA        318  NONE
CHANDLER 7705           4  3 0 FRIENDS 759          CARLA 6225            317   
FALCON KNIGHT 7523      1  4 0 GUARDIAN KNIGHTS 741 DING DONG 7516        314  NOT REVENGED
MUD DRINK 7773          0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     FLUSH THE JOHN        318  NONE
TURF DA 7772            0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     PIZZA VILLAIN         318  NONE
DOMINUS NOX 7425        5  7 0 IN QETERNUM 718      STRYCHNINE 4838       314  REVENGED
TACTIS AEGER 7395       4 13 1 IN QETERNUM 718      RED VIXEN 7596        317  NONE
LUMINOUS LOX 6495      11  9 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            318   
MICE CREAM 6265        13  6 1 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            314  NOT REVENGED
POOR KITTY 7775         0  1 0 OTTODROME TW 728     PIZZA VILLAIN         318  NONE
DONE FOR 7678           1  2 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 WINGED MONKEY         318  NONE
FANCY LAD 7675          0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 SUZY SUICIDE 7682     316   
LACE MUTTON 7676        0  2 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 VOLUND 7670           317   
LEATHER N LACE 7677     1  2 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 ROYAL PAIN            318  NONE
RED SHIRT 7781          0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 FLUSH THE JOHN        318  NONE
FANG 7688               0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 THE GOLDEN EGG 7806   318   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

I, Malaquar, mgr. of the team NUKE TEST will represent the GVSOP alliance in the
upcoming Turf War.  The alliance will be captained by Howlin Wolf of OBG.

Congrats to Artichoke On This and Spawn, terrific Lord Protectors.  Kudus all! -- Oz
The All Jealous

Hey, Black Bolt, your stuff didn't work so well against the fence post, did it?
Shucks for you; whoop, whoop for me! -- Fence, Land Of Oz

Death Kiss -- I know you are more experienced than me, and more skilled than me, but
I don't know why it took you two minutes to do the deed?  Slipping in your old age?
-- Emerald, Land Of Oz

     Savoring the experience?

Mannequin, Slugbait, Le Pentarque -- Good luck at The Face.  And especially, good
luck on the first turn.  Oz Feast Le Banana (OFLB) will need all your luck and all
your skill to carry Oz The All-Heavy and do well in TW8.  Go Team, Go!!!!!!! -- Oz
The All Excited

Ultima Regum -- Congrats and well done, Duelmaster. -- Oz The All Covetous

A note to all non-OFLB TW8 warriors -- We wish you good luck in The Philly Face.  We
wish you no deaths there.  Let's have a great event.  Save your dying and bad luck
for the Fall Mailer and Tempe. -- The Land Of Ozers

Turf Warriors -- I, Otto X, declare our champion to be the most honorable fearsome
Wilhelm Scream.  Tremble at his name!  Or don't, either way we're beating you. --
Otto X for Ottodrome TW

All -- I am announcing that I am joining the turf wars team of Deep PMS.  And Emily
will be my champion. -- the Mun Manager of All-Star Nana's

All -- I, Howlin' Wolf, manager of OBG! and captain of the alliance GVSOP, confirm
the teams Nuke Test (managed by Malaquar) and Team Toons (managed by Baron Bentsword)
as members.

I hereby (belatedly) declare my intent to ally with LBA Alliance, managed by Assur,
for the Turf Wars 8 competition.  My team is the Illuminated Ones, and I, Hyacinth
Zephyr, am the Enlightened Emperor of this team.  Good battles to you all. --
Hyacinth Zephyr

Oz -- I sent Assur 2 rollups as payment for TW*.  He should be forwarding them to
you. -- Hyacinth Zephyr, mgr Illuminated Ones

Glitter Boy -- I have taken the liberty to "front" you the two needed certs to play,
so you are in. -- Oz The All Generous

All -- After much deliberation, I have decided that Gluttony shall champion the
Obsidian Order stable. -- Skaven

Liam the Goth -- Welcome back. -- Skaven

Vae Victus -- You beat me on the race to the throne.  Congratulations.  How about
best 2 out of 3? -- Skaven

Congratulations to the new graduates.  I wish you well on the Isle. -- Skaven

Curare -- I think a demon possessed me to challenge you with seven fights under your
belt.  Or maybe I was sorry about your losing streak and gave you a win. -- Lemure

Nick O' Tine -- Really?  Ya had to win sticking me in the pills.  I call low blow,
Sir! -- Chucky

Done For -- Ah, teammate, you're making Club Fed look bad.  Stop sending your people
to die on my sword. -- Suzy Suicide

Turfwar Mods -- Devil's Rejects declare Suzy Suicide as Champion for TW8. -- Lucifer

Vae Victus -- Oh, wonderful, not only do I have to suffer your socks, but now your
bragging, too!  Barbarian... The only reason Ultima won his fight is because the
other guy broke his sword against your grossly inflated ego!  What does Vae Victus
mean, anyway?  Violent Vermin?  Vapid Vixen?  Or perhaps Vacuum Victim? -- Glitter
Boy, the Pretty Boy

All -- I'm offering a reward to anybody who can overthrow Ultima Regum so I don't
have to put up with the bragging.  The reward?  One date with me, Glitter Boy, all
expenses paid by you.  Ladies need not apply.  Sorry... Unless we're going shopping,
then by all means, ladies, please apply!  *devilish grin* -- Glitter Boy (still
pretty)

Lucifer -- I hate you... -- Glitter Boy the Besieged

Red Vixen -- Well, so you slew one of my own.  It's well that you did, as he was
becoming a bit of a bore and I was considering sending him to the Dark Arena just to
be rid of him.  However, I was wondering, would you like to be a contender? -- Vae
Victus, manager In Qeternum

All -- I declare that Devil's Rejects, managed by Lucifer himself, is a member in
good standing of Club Fed for Turf War VIII. -- Vae Victus, manager In Qeternum

All -- I declare that Ultima Regum, as it is right and just, be champion of In
Qeternum for the duration of Turf War VIII or for as long as he does remain in North
Fork. -- Vae Victus, manager In Qeternum

All -- The alliance of "Shiv Art" will be participating in the Turf War.  Uncle D,
mgr. of Knight-Club, will be the captain.  Also in this alliance will be Sanguin
Requiem and Team Thanatos. -- Uncle D, mgr. of Knight-Club

All -- Ladies and gentlemen of North Fork, my name is Uncle D., manager of Knight
Club.  I am a semi-new manager with only one other team over on Noblish Island (DM

93) called Knight Life.  I would like to apologize for some of my fighters, for a
couple have a big mouth!  I hope to learn a lot here and would enjoy hearing from
everyone.  Take care and see you in the Knight-Club. -- Uncle D.

All -- Come dance ot the music of my blade.  Let it enchant you to my victory. --
Deejay Spinner, Knight-Club

All -- Give me any trouble in here and I will show you the door. -- Johnny Bouncer,
Knight-Club

All -- Let me see.... ohh, nope!  You are not on the list.  So sorry, good-bye. --
Charlie Clipboard, Knight-Club

All -- You want to talk to me?  Haha, not in this or any other world, loser! -- Lily
Uptight, Knight-Club

All -- Please forgive my team.  Welcome to the Knight-Club.  What can I get you? --
Honey Bartender

All -- Team Thanatos--the ancient Greek god of death--joins the alliance "Shiv Art"
in the Turf War.  The norotious Uncle D., manager of Knight-Club, is acting as Shiv
Art's Captain, with Alexander, legendary leader of the greatest army the world has
ever known, acting as manager for Thanatos, a collaboration of some of the most
powerful dieties of Greek antiquity.  Sleek, beautiful, and primal, the Greeks join
the fray.  To quote the Bard:  "Cry havoc!  And let slip the dogs of war." -- Team
Thanatos

All -- Peace outside the arena, mayhem within.  I am Alexander, new manger to this
new team.  Beauty and power, force and form:  this is team Thanatos.  Advice and
correspondence most certainly are sought and welcomed.  Let us all shake the globe
with the fury of combat! -- Team Thanatos

And so begins another 12 turns for the Turf War.  Looking forward to it! -- Assur

Hear Ye!  Alex Trebek of Bubba's TW Army is hereby declared to be our Champion in the
Turf War.  Let the games begin! -- Bubba Ganoosh

Just to make sure-- As Captain of the Deep PMS Alliance, I accept Scruffy Puff, The
Mun, and Sigurd F as alliancemates. -- Deep Thought, Mgr MSNBC

I am pleased to announce Lawrence O'Donnell as the Champion of team MSNBC. -- Deep
Thought

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THE PUNISHER was dealt death by FOEFANA BANANA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DONE FOR was murdered by WINGED MONKEY in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
LEATHER N LACE was murdered by ROYAL PAIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MUD DRINK was slaughtered by FLUSH THE JOHN in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DONE DEAL was assassinated by TOTO'S REVENGE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
RED SHIRT was butchered by FLUSH THE JOHN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
HEALY HORRENDOUS was assassinated by FLUSH THE JOHN in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
TURF DA was executed by PIZZA VILLAIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
POOR KITTY was assassinated by PIZZA VILLAIN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena melee.
DILECTONON FERIO was vanquished by STRYCHNINE in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud duel.
LEMURE was assassinated by BLACK BOLT in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud duel.
LUMBER JACK was overpowered by SUZY SUICIDE in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
ALEX TREBEK overpowered ARSENIC in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
RAVAGE was bested by TALKEETNA in a exciting 2 minute master's Challenge conflict.
SPAWN was savagely defeated by TENTH INNING in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge brawl.
FROSTY overpowered ULTIMA REGUM in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title duel.
BIG MAC devastated NORTON in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
DRAGO KAZOV beat TEMPTRESS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute master's Challenge brawl.
NO BATHROOM was defeated by INCREDIBLE HULK in a exciting 1 minute Challenge bout.
WRATH executed LUMINOUS LOX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
FRASIER was savagely defeated by TOFU WARRIOR in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
WILHELM SCREAM overpowered HUMMUS HAWK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BLIZZARD beat DIRT BOGART in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
MASTER DARQUE was devastated by PAUL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
WARFARIN was savagely defeated by STARSCREAM in a 4 minute Challenge fight.
SOULTAKER overpowered CANUM MOERDART in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
EMERALD demolished COLOSSUS in a 2 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge melee.
BRAVE NEW RODENT overcame RACHAEL MADDOW in a action packed 1 minute Challenge bout.
CURARE was overpowered by KHAN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
EINSTEIN was luckily beaten by FENCE in a popular 2 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
LAWRENCE O'DONNELL was overcome by THUNDERCRACKER in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
AMBITIOUS LARD savagely defeated ZEKE in a popular 3 minute brutal Challenge fight.
FAIRBANKS GLOW beat GRIMHILD in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
AEGRE ID MILES handily defeated MILK STOUT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
JACK THE RIPPER lost to MONICA in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge fight.
NICK O'TINE demolished VOLUND in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
ARTICHOKE ON THIS! was overpowered by SLUGBAIT in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
VEGGIE MONSTER savagely defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a exciting 1 minute master's match.
QUEEN OF TARTS luckily beat PRACTICAL GENE in a popular 5 minute expert's bout.
SALAD SLAYER handily defeated LATKA in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
GIZMO overpowered YORL in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
BROOMSTICK vanquished SOUTH SPOON in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
PETIT JARDINIA overcame CARLA in a popular 3 minute bloody master's duel.
BLITZWING savagely defeated WENDY in a action packed 1 minute bloody competition.
ASTROTRAIN subdued WRAITH in a 2 minute match.
SEWARD FOLLY defeated NORM in a popular 1 minute gruesome battle.
JACK B. NIMBLE overpowered KAT in a 1 minute uneven bout.
EMILY overpowered ACCUSER in a 1 minute uneven competition.
ACE HARDWARE demolished THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 3 minute mismatched match.
THE CREEPSTER was luckily beaten by DING DONG in a 11 minute brutal battle.
EVIL ONE was overpowered by EXPOSED in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DONETO devastated AVER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
GLUTTONY devastated JOEY in a 5 minute one-sided battle.
DYLAN RATIGAN slimly won victory over RACHEL in a unpopular 21 minute brutal fight.
CHICKEN A LA KING demolished HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
KIKI beat CAPTURED PORK in a 1 minute bout.
YRSA viciously subdued LEGION in a 2 minute gory struggle.
MIMI outlasted CHUCKY in a unpopular 15 minute brawl.
GAUTREK devastated SELENE in a 2 minute one-sided bout.
LONELY TRUCHER outlasted SITKA SERENITY in a unpopular 11 minute novice's duel.
SERIAL COWBOY was demolished by VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
ROOT WIZARD bested SHADOW OF A SEASON in a 2 minute novice's fight.
MAUL CHOLESTEROL devastated ROOSTER COGBURN in a action packed 1 minute uneven match.
BIKINI ATOLL savagely defeated PETROCIAN PEACEMAKER in a 3 minute gory novice's fight.
NK won victory over CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ in a 1 minute novice's duel.
CHRIS HAYES was demolished by DEPUTY FIFE in a 1 minute uneven battle.
HAM BURGLAR was overpowered by DUMBO in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
MY LAST TWENTY was savagely defeated by THE DARK ONE in a 6 minute amateur's duel.
LOS ALAMOS was demolished by M. CHARDONNAY in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SIBERIAN WASTES was defeated by LENOLIN LIGHTBEARER in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
HIRO vanquished AXEMAN EWING in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BILL was handily defeated by ODOBAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
PAT vanquished ENCORE DEBOUT in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
CHRIS MATTHEWS overpowered DOG ON THE LOOSE in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
OPPENHEIMER easily killed NAVIGATOR'S TALE in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided melee.
ASP overpowered ICE WIND in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
CONVICTED BEEF savagely defeated FLY PIZZA PIE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fray.
RU BRINGER savagely defeated CLANCY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brutal bout.
RON was bested by WAKING DREAMS in a 4 minute gory novice's match.
TAINTED WHEAT handily defeated URANUS in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ATROCITY AWAKENED slimly won victory over MY LITTLE GTO in a 3 minute amateur's match.
ELDER THANG overpowered SNAGGLEPUSS in a 1 minute brutal uneven duel.
BUGS vanquished HAY PATE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
MIGHTY MANFRED slimly won victory over JAMICE in a exciting 9 minute amateur's bout.
WHAT'D I SAY was subdued by JOCLYN JOYBRINGER in a 2 minute novice's bout.
OH BOY savagely defeated MIGHTY MANFRED in a popular 3 minute beginner's competition.
CLOSED MONDAYS was narrowly defeated by CHARLIE CLIPBOARD in a 4 minute novice's bout.
LILY UPTIGHT was overpowered by LAKEFRONT in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
DEEJAY SPINNER won victory over KIND FATHER in a 2 minute beginner's contest.
PARA was defeated by TEACUPS in a 5 minute amateur's duel.
SKY PILOT beat SMALL WORLD in a 2 minute amateur's fight.
SURFER JOE devastated FLOWER POWER in a 1 minute uneven battle.
JONHY BOUNCER savagely defeated ADEO MORI SERVUS in a 5 minute beginner's brawl.
CHERRI BOMB lost to SYANNE SHADEBREAKER in a 1 minute brutal novice's competition.
EDARD EYEBRIGHT was vanquished by BULL LONEY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
KIND HUSBAND was viciously subdued by STING in a 3 minute novice's fray.
KIND HERDSMAN was demolished by COBRA in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
KIND FARMER was savagely defeated by GAIA in a 3 minute beginner's contest.
REBECCA overpowered HELIOS in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
FANG was executed by THE GOLDEN EGG in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
MR HECKLES overcame RATTLER in a 1 minute beginner's competition.
TOUPEE ARNOLD vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 32         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  15 -  1      57  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  32         TOTAL PARRY       52 -  44 -  1      54  |
|AIMED BLOW                      29         STRIKING ATTACK   90 -  86 -  8      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     24         LUNGING ATTACK    66 -  77 -  3      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 23         WALL OF STEEL     34 -  44 -  3      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   18         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  12 -  3      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  15         BASHING ATTACK    32 -  45 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    8         AIMED BLOW        52 -  74 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  47 -  4      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  29 -  1      29  |

Turn 318 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  0     AIMED BLOW        13 - 16         6  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     6 -  9         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY       14 - 10     WALL OF STEEL      5 - 13         1  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK   18 - 14     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  7         1  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK   12 - 11                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK    16 - 16     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       FROSTY 7332                11   6  0  134 FAST FOOD (724)
LUNGING ATTACK   VEGGIE MONSTER 7224        16   6  1  118 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
STRIKING ATTACK  WRATH 7428                 11   5  3  118 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
WALL OF STEEL    TALKEETNA 7047             19  13  0  103 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
TOTAL PARRY      QUEEN OF TARTS 5980        12   9  0  101 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
BASHING ATTACK   LATKA 6940                 13   5  1   91 SECOND BANANAS (573)
SLASHING ATTACK  PETIT JARDINIA 7154        10   4  0   88 LES TURFISTES (727)
PARRY-LUNGE      DRAGO KAZOV 7100           14  11  1   76 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TOFU WARRIOR 7223.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was PRACTICAL GENE 7349.  The ten other most popular fighters were TOFU WARRIOR 
7223, STARSCREAM 7419, TENTH INNING 7255, STING 7656, AMBITIOUS LARD 7582, OH BOY 
7746, EINSTEIN 7622, CONVICTED BEEF 7578, ATROCITY AWAKENED 7729, and MIGHTY MANFRED 
7738.

The least popular fighter this week was RACHEL 7711.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were DYLAN RATIGAN 7634, MIMI 7450, CHUCKY 7683, JAMICE 7798, LONELY TRUCHER 
7724, DING DONG 7516, ADEO MORI SERVUS 7782, GLUTTONY 7539, FANG 7688, and HELIOS 
7809.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

SALAD SLAYER (47-7334) VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

SPAWN (47-4283) FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
ARTICHOKE ON THIS! (47-7226) VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)