DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 09/25/2012    Duedate: 10/22/2012

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-320

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BIG MAC
FAST FOOD (724)
(47-7120) [16-7-0,112]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

POSITION IS EMPTY              EXPOSED
                               HORNY GOAT X (750)
                               (47-7595) [5-0-0,65]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

NORM                           CHICKEN A LA KING
CHEERS (659)                   ROYAL FLUSH (48)
(47-6227) [8-14-1,83]          (47-7583) [3-2-1,24]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

SHEWISH BUFFET (748)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CHEERS (659)                50
2. ERRATA! (760)               49      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. SHEWISH BUFFET (748)        40      Unchartered Team
4. SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)      39
5. NUKE TEST (769)             38      SHEWISH BUFFET (748)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)      13   5  0 72.2   1/ 1*SHEWISH BUFFET (748)     12  3 0
 2/ 6*SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)    10   5  1 66.7   2/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217)         11  4 0
 3/ 4 LAND OF OZ (217)         681 422 24 61.7   3/10 CHEERS (659)             10  4 1
 4/ 3*DREAMS OF KADATH (762)     8   5  0 61.5   4/13*SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)   10  5 1
 5- 5 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     67  44  4 60.4   5/ 4*OBG! (765)                9  6 1
 6/11 LES TURFISTES (727)       48  32  1 60.0   6/16 LES TURFISTES (727)       9  6 0
 7/ 1*OBG! (765)                 9   6  1 60.0   7/ 9*HORNY GOAT X (750)        9  6 0
 8- 8*ILLUMINATED ONES (767)     3   2  0 60.0   8/ 2 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          8  5 0
 9/ 9 SECOND BANANAS (573)     235 159 21 59.6   9/11*DREAMS OF KADATH (762)    8  5 0
10/10 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)   348 238 25 59.4  10/12 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     8  7 1
11/13 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    87  64  3 57.6  11/24*NUKE TEST (769)           8  7 1
12/12 OTTODROME TW (728)        54  41  3 56.8  12/15*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     8  7 1
13/14 ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)     96  73  8 56.8  13/14*TEAM TOONS (764)          8  7 1
14/16*BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)     13  10  2 56.5  14/28*MSNBC (755)               8  7 0
15/15 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         801 619 40 56.4  15/ 8 BASH BROS PARK (766)      8  7 0
16/28*MSNBC (755)               11   9  0 55.0  16/21 FAST FOOD (724)           8  7 0
17/26*NUKE TEST (769)            8   7  1 53.3  17/ 5 DARQUE FORCES (396)       8  7 0
18/ 7*TEAM TOONS (764)           8   7  1 53.3  18/ 7*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)   8  7 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 FAST FOOD (724)           60  54  1 52.6  19/20 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      7  8 1
20/18 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     30  27  3 52.6  20/36*THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)   7  8 1
21/19 DARQUE FORCES (396)      231 209 17 52.5  21/37*ERRATA! (760)             7  8 0
22-21 IRON LEGION (652)         29  27  2 51.8  22/22 OTTODROME TW (728)        7  8 0
23/23 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)      73  71  9 50.7  23/26*KNIGHT-CLUB (761)         6  7 0
24/22 FRIENDS (759)             24  25  1 49.0  24/19 FRIENDS (759)             6  8 1
25/24 I HATE THEM (597)         67  70  2 48.9  25/29 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)    6  9 0
26/29 CHEERS (659)              52  55  4 48.6  26/25 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)    6  9 0
27/30 BASH BROS PARK (766)      21  24  1 46.7  27/34 SECOND BANANAS (573)      5  7 0
28/31*HORNY GOAT X (750)        14  16  1 46.7  28/18*JOMSVIKINGS (756)         5 10 0
29/40*THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)    7   8  1 46.7  29/17 LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)     5 10 0
30/25*THE UNHOLY ONES (772)      7   8  0 46.7  30/40*THE UNHOLY ONES (772)     4  6 0
31/27*KNIGHT-CLUB (761)          6   7  0 46.2  31/33 I HATE THEM (597)         4  6 0
32/41*ERRATA! (760)              7   9  0 43.8  32/41*THANATOS (771)            4  7 0
33-33 PURE POISON (478)         44  58  5 43.1  33/38*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)  4 11 0
34/ 0 THE BIZZARR (716)         27  37  4 42.2  34- 6 VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)     3  2 0
35/34 IN QETERNUM (718)         61  84  5 42.1  35/ 0 THE BIZZARR (716)         3  2 0
36/35 TORUS (32)               203 296 19 40.7  36-31 IRON LEGION (652)         3  2 0
37/32*SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)    8  13  0 38.1  37-32*ILLUMINATED ONES (767)    3  2 0
38-36 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      39  65  4 37.5  38/27 IN QETERNUM (718)         3  7 0
39/39*THANATOS (771)             4   7  0 36.4  39-35 FANTASTIC FIVE (477)      2  3 1
40/37*JOMSVIKINGS (756)         16  29  2 35.6  40-23 PURE POISON (478)         2  3 0
41-38*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)      7  13  1 35.0  41-30*DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)     2  8 0
42/42*REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)   7  18  0 28.0  42/ 0 NEW VENGEANCE (721)       1  2 0
43/ 0 NEW VENGEANCE (721)       19  52  2 26.8  43/42 TORUS (32)                1 13 0
44/ 0*THE UNDERGRADS (773)       0   4  0  0.0  44/ 0*THE UNDERGRADS (773)      0  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Chanting to Thanatos.  The god who is death, team Thanatos raise weapons.  "Blood and
honor, blood and honor," they chant.  Earth, Sky, Sea, the Sun and the Moon; warriors
all.  Proud of body, mind and deed.  Alexander poised before all, stretches out his
arms, throws back his head and screams to the crowd, "Havoc!"  The team stamps the
ground and clashes weapons as they take up the new chant, "Havoc! Havoc! Havoc!"
Blood, Death Vengance all one in their eyes.  There is no second place for these
Greeks.  Peace outside the arena, blood and mayhem within!  Let the games begin.

                             *************************

                                   The Sand Box

     The music from the dance hall downstairs journeys up to Uncle D's ears where he
sits at the bar looking at the casino's Board-of-Odds which post every team in North
Fork for the next two rounds.  The house took a big hit on the last round wiht Land
of Oz pulling their 3-2 and not only Bash Bros Park but all of LBA+ outdoing their
odds by getting 4-1.  The only highlights for the house was Alaskan Pipeline's 0-5
and six teams ending up with 1-4.  For the first time, some good news has come to the
members of Shiv Art, as Mandingo, mgr. of the Undergrads, has decided to show up.
Looking around, Uncle D spots Alexander waving him over and gets and heads that way.
He sees Mandingo and pulls up a chair.
     "Let me start by saying sorry about Honey.  I did not wish for that," Alexander
says.
     "Don't worry about it.  That was MUG's fault.  We should be able to do better
this turn with all the fighters of Shiv Art fighting this week," Uncle D informs them
as he orders some wine.
     "Now that I am here, we will grab a top 3 spot.  We must show all the alliances
that just because we are new doesn't mean we are weak."  Mandingo slams his ale.
     "All we need to remember is as long as we're not in last place and our fighters
are not dead, we still have a shot.  Plus, all three of our teams have 1 in 15 odds
at pulling 3-2, while Land of Oz, Bash Bros and Darque Forces all have 1 in 5 odds of
getting 2-3 or lower," Uncle D announces with a smile upon his face as he looks at
the board.
     Alexander notices Helios passed out at the bar and sees Honey Bartender and Gaia
put his hand in a bowl of what looks like warm water.  "That's true, but I must go
get Helios away from the bar and into a bed.  I'll see you later."
     "It's getting late, so I should be off, too.  I love the club, but I should see
what my misfits are up to.  Take care," Mandingo says as he heads for the door.
     Ordering a refill, Uncle D thinks over all that's happened the last two rounds.
Nothing great, nothing bad either.  With some good choices and a little luck, it
should not be hard to end round three with a top 5 spot.  Prepairng to head to bed,
Uncle D catches sight of Lily Uptight pouring a drink on Closed Mondays and Honey on
top of the bar dancing with someone who looks a lot like Zeke....

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         TWVIII Round 2 Summary and Scores

* LBA blows away the field, round two, pulling to a near tie for first overall.
* Only three missing teams out of thirty-four. (4 of 68 to date)
* RND 1 Darque Forces (Master Darque) wins the round one cert with the only 5-0-0-0
  record.
RND 2 OBG (Howlin Wolf) wins the round two cert with a 4-1-1-0, winning on kills out
of a tie amongst seven teams at 4-1.
* Tied for team leader in accumulative fight points is OBG (Howlin Wolf) and
  Ottodrome (Otto X) with 8 points.
* Team leader with most accumulative wins at 8 is Shewish Buffet (OAB).
* Round two leading alliance/s with most accumulative kills (one) are four teams
* Round two dubious team leader with most accumulative deaths (five) is Real Men Wear
  Pink (Glitter Boy)
* A lot of jealous managers are "griping" about OFLB's lead with sixteen style/DM
  points accumulative.(The grass is always greener .....)

ALLIANCE SCORES (Round scores/total score)
           Round Points    Fight       Style Participate     Team   Total To Date
M*MBO        +3            -6/11        4/8      4/8          1/2     +29
LBA         +23            18/18        0/0      4/8          1/2     +28
GSVOP       +13             9/10        0/0      3/6          1/2     +18
OFLB         +8            -7/-11      10/18     4/8          1/2     +15
LOL          +4            -3/-6        2/4      4/8          1/2      +8
BOB          +7             4/-3        0/0      3/7          0/1      +5
SHIV         -1            -2/-2        0/0      1/3          0/0      +1
PMS          -1            -6/-12       0/0      4/8          1/2      -2
FED         -17           -22/-35       2/4      3/7          0/1     -23

Fi=fight points; St=style/DM points; Tm=team participate/tournament pts
TEAM SCORES              Rnd #2    fi/st/tm/TOT  TOTAL      Fi/ST/TM

M*MBO (Master Darque)  9-11-0-2     -6/4/5/3    22-18-1-3   11/8/10/29
Fast Food (Madwand)     2-3-0-0      0/2/1/3     5-5-0-0     4/6/2/12
Darque Forces (MD)      2-3-0-0     -3/0/1/-2    7-3-0-0     4/0/2/6
Bubba's TW(Bubba)       2-3-0-1     -8/0/1/-7    5-5-1-1    -5/0/2/-3
Ottodrome (Otto X)      3-2-0-1      5/2/1/8     5-5-0-2     8/2/2/12
ALLIANCE Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

OFLB (Mannequin)        8-11-0-0    -7/10/ /8   18-20-0-1  -11/16/10/15
Land Of Oz (Oz)         3-2-0-0      2/4/1/57    7-3-0-0     6/4/2/12
2ndBananas (Mann)       1-3-0-0     -6/2/1/-3    3-5-0-0    -7/4/2/-1
Le Turfistes (LP)       3-2-0-0      1/2/1/4     5-5-0-0    -1/4/2/5
Mystic(Slugbait)        1-4-0-0     -4/2/1/-1    3-7-0-1    -9/4/2/-3
Alliance Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

LBA+ (Assur)           16-4-0-1     18/0/5/23   25-15-0-3   18/0/10/28
Shewish (OAB)           4-1-0-0      6/0/1/7     8-2-0-0    10/0/2/12
Horny G (Grimm)         4-1-0-1      1/0/1/2     6-4-0-3     1/0/2/3
Cheers (Otis)           4-1-0-0      7/0/1/8     6-4-0-0     6/0/2/8
Bash Bro (Assur)        4-1-0-0      4/0/1/5     5-5-0-0     1/0/2/3
Alliance Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

GVSOP (Howlin Wolf)    10-5-1-0      9/0/4/13   18-12-1-0   10/0/8/18
Nuke (Malaquar)         2-3-0-0     -2/0/1/-1    5-5-0-0    -1/0/2/1
OBG (Howlin Wolf)       4-1-1-0      7/0/1/8     7-3-1-0     8/0/2/10
TeamToons (Baron B)     4-1-0-0      4/0/1/5     6-4-0-0     3/0/2/5
Alliance Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

LOL Stormlord)         8-11-0-0     -3/2/5/4    19-20-0-3   -6/4/10/8
Alaska (Stormlord)      0-5-0-0     -7/2/1/-4    3-7-0-1    -3/4/2/3
Errata (JE)             1-4-0-0     -2/0/1/-1    3-7-0-0    -3/0/2/-1
Kadath (Reaper)         3-1-0-0      3/0/1/4     6-3-0-1     0/0/2/2
Serpents (Khisanth)     4-1-0-0      3/0/1/4     7-3-0-1     0/0/2/2
Alliance Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

SHIV (Uncle D)          2-4-0-0     -2/0/1/-1    6-8-0-0    -2/0/3/1
Knight Club (Uncle)     1-3-0-0     -1/0/1/0     4-4-0-0     1/0/2/3
Sanguin (Amairgen)      0-0-0-0      0/0/0/0     0/0/0/0     0/0/0/0
Thanatos (Alexander)    1-1-0-0     -1/0/0/-1    2-4-0-0    -3/0/1/-2
Alliance Score                    0/0/0/0                  0/0/0/0

PMS (Deep Thought)      9-11-2-0    -6/0/5/-1   18-22-0-0   -12/0/10/-2
Nanas (The Mun)         3-2-1-0      2/0/1/3     6-4-1-0     4/0/2/6
Friends (Scruffy)       3-2-1-0     -1/0/1/0     5-5-1-0    -1/0/2/1
Jomsvikings (Sigurd)    1-4-0-0     -5/0/1/-4    3-7-0-0    -8/0/2/-6
MSNBC (Deep T)          2-3-0-0     -2/0/1/-1    4-6-0-0    -7/0/2/-5
Alliance Score                    0/0/1/1                  0/0/2/2

BOB (TGG)               7-8-0-0      4/0/3/7    15-20-1-0   -3/0/8/5
I Hate (Rillion)        0-0-0-0      0/0/0/0     3-2-0-0     1/0/1/2
Satan's (tDO)           3-2-0-0      2/0/1/3     6-4-1-0     3/0/2/5
Willbury's (RR)         1-4-0-0     -3/0/1/-2    3-7-0-0    -4/0/2/-2
Lurocian (TGG)          3-2-0-0      5/0/1/6     3-7-0-0    -3/0/2/-1
Alliance Score                     0/0/0/0               0/0/1/1

FED (Vae Victus)       3-12-0-3    -22/2/3/-17  10-25-1-8  -35/4/8/-23
Obsidian (Skaven)       1-4-0-0    -11/2/1/-8    5-5-1-0    -2/4/2/4
Devil's (Lucifer)       1-4-0-1     -5/0/1/-4    2-8-0-3    -9/0/2/-7
Qeternum (VV)           0-0-0-0      0/0/0/0     1-4-0-0    -7/0/1/-6
RMWP (Glitter)          1-4-0-2     -6/0/1/-5    2-8-0-5   -17/0/2/-15
Alliance Score                    0/0/0/0                    0/0/1/1

THE WARRIOR CHAMPIONS
Alex Trebek, Wilhelm Scream, Emily, Lawrence O'Donnell, Temptress, Suzy Suicide,
Ultima Regume, Gluttony, Latka

This highly enjoyable and completely thorough  summary was brought to you by
professional Turf War Moderators Oz The All Stimulating and Meticulous Master Darque.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 352): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 350): COLGATE SMILE of MY GENERATION (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 348): BUZZ-BUZZ of BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 303): WOXTON of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 325): ANDROMEDA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 319): BROOMSTICK of LAND OF OZ (Oz, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 306): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 300): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 285): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 278): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 254): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 254): LONDON BEEFEATER of MEAT YOUR MAKER (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 255): BURIED TREASURE of FOUND IN THE SAND (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 70): LIFE SCOUT of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 252): THE REFEREE of AVID FANS (Crip, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 352): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 350): THE WOLF PACK (?, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 348): THE STORM REAVERS (?, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 303): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 325): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 319): SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 306): LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 300): DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 285): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 278): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 254): PIZZA TOPPINGS (?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 254): MONGREL HORDE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 255): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 70): OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 252): SPARF! et al (Crip, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 350): COLGATE SMILE of MY GENERATION (Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 348): BUZZ-BUZZ of BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 319): GIZMO of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
                   (turn 318): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                   (turn 318): SALAD SLAYER of VEGAN CANNIBALS (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 300): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 285): TONG PAK FU of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
               (turn 289): QIONG YING of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 278): APPLESEED of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 254): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
                             AFTERSHOCK of SLAMMA JAMMA (Marma Duke, mgr.)
                             ALBUQUERQUE of WESTERN FRONTIER (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 69): MORIS NAHR of MIDDLE WAY 21 (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Well, well, well.  Broomstick is on top of all North Fork.  Whoda thunk it?!  I
certainly would never have thought I would make it here.  Nor, really, did I expect
to come out of North Fork alive.  (Not that I have yet.)  It just shows what hard
work, lots of skill practice, and good management can do.  (I listed that third item
because Oz is watching over my shoulder as I pen this.)
     What, really, does one write in a Duelmaster Column?  Advice?  Bragging?
Information?  A story?  Poetry?
     Okay, Broomsticks are weird.  You knew that? I did a lot of research, and I am
going to list chronologically every single city (some concurrently) where non-
military The Consortium has lived during his long years....
 1. Cannelton, IN           7. Lenexa, KS            12. Easley, SC
 2. Evansville, IN          8. Oak Creek, WI         13. Creve Coeur, MO
 3. Tell City, IN           9. Logansport, IN        14. Clinton, MO
 4. Fayetteville, NC       10. Muskego, WI           15. Milford, MA
 5. Racine, WI             11. Kokomo, IN            16. Easley, SC
 6. Cedarburg, WI
     How's THAT for surpurflous information?!  Well, if you don't like it, you will
just have to beat me out of this seat.  I am here; catch me if you can.
                    Broomstick, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of NORTH FORK!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp 
Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  The proverbial rising comet can only 
hope to compare with NUKE TEST's team record!  A 3-2-1 week and now a firm grasp on a 
11th place ranking.  I have begun to suspect trickery on the part of MSNBC.  How else 
weeks like this one's 4-1-0?  How else the sudden move to 14th team?  My tutors were 
fond of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This week DARQUE 
FORCES went 1-4-0 and fell 12 notches into 17th!  SERPENTS HOLD 200 bore the brunt of 
major assault on their standings this week as they dropped to 18th position as the 
result of going 1-4-0!  The proverbial rising comet can only hope to compare with THE 
WILLBURYS 47A's team record!  A 4-1-1 week and now a firm grasp on a 20th place 
ranking.  I have begun to suspect trickery on the part of ERRATA!.  How else weeks 
like this one's 4-1-0?  How else the sudden move to 21st team?  My tutors were fond 
of telling me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This week LUROCIAN 
DEVILS went 2-3-0 and fell 12 notches into 29th!  IN QETERNUM bore the brunt of major 
assault on their standings this week as they dropped to 38th position as the result 
of going 2-3-0!  Did only my eyes note the 4-1-0 record which SATAN'S RANCHERS 
managed to post this round?  I don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers!  
DRAGO KAZOV caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully 
bested SLUGBAIT and was awarded 28 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more 
notable duels, DRAGO KAZOV put down SLUGBAIT, causing him to lose 30 points of 
recognition in the process.  Most watched of the fights this week, the spotlight was 
on BIG MAC as he bore arms against the challenge of reigning Duelmaster BROOMSTICK.  
This time victory fell to the grasp of the usurper.  All hail BIG MAC, Duelmaster of 
NORTH FORK!  No confirmation, but my sources claim that the top team has gained their 
position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  My inside sources tell me that the 
team to beat in NORTH FORK these days is KNIGHT-CLUB.  At least, most blades in town 
are looking to avoid them.  Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was 
that spent the better part of last week avoiding KNIGHT-CLUB.  Indeed it was 
THANATOS.  Mighty fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  KHAN take 
warning!  You have more than a few enemies in NORTH FORK.  For some warriors honor is 
not important--only empty victory.  See, gladiators, how JOEY of FRIENDS challenged 
down 19 points to HELIOS.  All the city knows the duel went in favor of JOEY.  I 
shall not fail to spread the word in other cities of this "mighty" victory.  A match 
that raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that JAMICE posted a 
challenge against the more highly recognized CAPTURED PORK.  The results, you ask?  
Well, the firebrand JAMICE was defeated by CAPTURED PORK.  Remember warriors, this is 
the discipline of steel.  I can not but mention with disdain the name of RAVAGE who 
this week posted a challenge to a warrior a full 11 points below in the rankings.  I 
thought RAVAGE showed great skill and promise when he overcame PRACTICAL GENE.  All 
right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Look no more for GIZMO in the arena or on the 
streets of NORTH FORK.  His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena.  Inevitable for one at 
16-12-1.  My sources at THANATOS stable claim they've never seen the guild bitterer.  
This as a result of the untimely demise of GAIA.  Beware REBECCA!  Walk proud, 
warriors of HORNY GOAT X!  By striking down PAT you have avenged the honor of your 
dead.  Your virtue is known to all in NORTH FORK.  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She 
showers the miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember 
this!   
     If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times 
already in NORTH FORK.  Nice atmosphere you have here!  Sadly warriors, now longer 
can I keep thy company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  
Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a 
different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BIG MAC 7120                 16   7  0   112       FAST FOOD (724)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VEGGIE MONSTER 7224          16   6  1   118       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 QUEEN OF TARTS 5980          14   9  0   118       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 PETIT JARDINIA 7154          12   4  0   118       LES TURFISTES (727)
 DR. COX 7009                 10   3  1   107       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 WILHELM SCREAM 7162          14   5  0   106       OTTODROME TW (728)
 TEMPTRESS 6671                8   3  0   100       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 FROSTY 7332                  12   7  0    98       FAST FOOD (724)
 BROOMSTICK 7057              15  11  1    97       LAND OF OZ (217)
 WRATH 7428                   11   7  3    96       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 DRAGO KAZOV 7100             15  12  1    95       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-TENTH INNING 7255            10  13  0    95       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 TALKEETNA 7047               19  15  0    94       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
-INCREDIBLE HULK 4280         14   7  0    92       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 FRASIER 6224                 14   9  0    91       CHEERS (659)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ULTIMA REGUM 7076            18  11  0    90       IN QETERNUM (718)
-LATKA 6940                   13   6  1    89       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 RAVAGE 7061                  13  16  2    88       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
-TOFU WARRIOR 7223            10  12  0    88       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
 CARLA 6225                   11  11  1    84       CHEERS (659)
 NORM 6227                     8  14  1    83       CHEERS (659)
 SLUGBAIT 6329                 9   1  1    80       I HATE THEM (597)
 BLIZZARD 7119                11   8  0    79       FAST FOOD (724)
 NO BATHROOM 7764             10   2  1    75       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 NORTON 7010                   9   7  0    75       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-HUMMUS HAWK 7333             13   9  1    74       VEGAN CANNIBALS (733)
-HAMMER 6170                   6   5  0    73       IRON LEGION (652)
 PRACTICAL GENE 7349           9   9  1    72       OTTODROME TW (728)
-STRYCHNINE 4838              13   7  2    70       PURE POISON (478)
 SOUTH SPOON 7161             11   9  1    69       OTTODROME TW (728)
 ACE HARDWARE 7492             7   2  0    69       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 YORL 7153                     9   5  0    68       LES TURFISTES (727)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PAUL 6861                     5   2  0    66       CHEERS (659)
 EMILY 7453                    7   4  0    65       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 THUNDERCRACKER 7467           5   5  0    65       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 EXPOSED 7595                  5   0  0    65       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 ALEX TREBEK 7624              6   1  1    63       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
-BLADE 6168                    8   4  0    62       IRON LEGION (652)
 DIRT BOGART 7430              7   4  1    61       LES TURFISTES (727)
 EMERALD 7478                 10   5  0    59       LAND OF OZ (217)
-CRESCENT 6167                 7   5  0    57       IRON LEGION (652)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YRSA 7671                     6   3  0    55       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 SEWARD FOLLY 7436            11   6  0    52       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 ASTROTRAIN 7352              10   8  0    52       DARQUE FORCES (396)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOULTAKER 5455               10   9  0    49       I HATE THEM (597)
 BLITZWING 7371                6   9  0    49       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 DONETO 7534                   5   2  1    48       OTTODROME TW (728)
 DING DONG 7516                7   3  1    46       LAND OF OZ (217)
 CANUM MOERDART 7531           6   4  0    46       IN QETERNUM (718)
 BRAVE NEW RODENT 7754         5   3  0    44       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 ODOBAN 7715                   3   0  0    43       ERRATA! (760)
-ARSENIC 4285                  7  12  1    42       PURE POISON (478)
 RAGLIN 7067                   7   6  0    42       THE BIZZARR (716)
 CONVICTED BEEF 7578           3   0  0    42       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 THE CREEPSTER 6328            9   6  0    41       I HATE THEM (597)
-WARFARIN 5231                 5   2  0    41       PURE POISON (478)
 WRAITH 6587                   6   6  2    40       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 DILECTONON FERIO 7483         5   9  0    40       IN QETERNUM (718)
 JACK B. NIMBLE 7446           8   7  0    39       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 ACCUSER 6589                  7   4  0    39       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 ASYLUM 7297                   5   7  0    39       NEW VENGEANCE (721)
 STARSCREAM 7419               6  10  0    38       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 LAWRENCE O'DONNELL 7635       3   1  0    38       MSNBC (755)
 EVIL ONE 6586                 6   5  1    36       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 FENCE 7498                    9   4  0    35       LAND OF OZ (217)
 OPPENHEIMER 7625              3   0  1    35       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 ASP 7591                      2   1  0    35       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 TUUMS 7065                    6   7  3    34       THE BIZZARR (716)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WENDY 7552                    4   3  1    33       FAST FOOD (724)
 AMBITIOUS LARD 7582           4   0  0    33       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 ELDER THANG 7731              3   0  0    33       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 MASTER DARQUE 6835            7   3  0    32       I HATE THEM (597)
 KHAN 7503                     6   6  1    32       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 AEGRE ID MILES 7659           4   1  0    32       IN QETERNUM (718)
 BULL LONEY 7804               3   0  0    32       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 DYLAN RATIGAN 7634            3   1  0    32       MSNBC (755)
 FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639           5   3  0    30       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE 7580      3   0  0    30       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 ICE WIND 7758                 2   1  0    29       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 NIINE 7064                    7   6  1    28       THE BIZZARR (716)
 EINSTEIN 7622                 2   2  0    28       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 LOS ALAMOS 7801               2   1  0    28       NUKE TEST (769)
 SARAPHINE 7063                5   8  0    27       THE BIZZARR (716)
 AXEL 7816                     3   0  0    27       THE UNHOLY ONES (772)
 CHRIS MATTHEWS 7631           2   1  0    27       MSNBC (755)
 JOEY 7708                     7   2  0    26       FRIENDS (759)
 TAINTED WHEAT 7725            3   0  0    26       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 ROOSTER COGBURN 7807          2   1  0    26       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 CAPTURED PORK 7581            2   2  0    26       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
-NICK O'TINE 7662              3   1  0    25       PURE POISON (478)
 CHICKEN A LA KING 7583        3   2  1    24       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-MONICA 7706                   3   1  1    24       FRIENDS (759)
 GAUTREK 7666                  3   4  0    24       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 REBECCA 7789                  2   1  1    24       CHEERS (659)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIKI 7485                     4   3  0    23       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 MIMI 7450                     4   2  0    23       SECOND BANANAS (573)
-COLOSSUS 7663                 3   1  0    23       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 GLUTTONY 7539                 6   4  0    22       OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7738           3   0  0    22       TEAM TOONS (764)
 BIKINI ATOLL 7799             3   0  0    21       NUKE TEST (769)
 ZEKE 7584                     3   2  0    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
 LEGION 7440                   2   2  0    21       LUROCIAN DEVILS (686)
 AXEMAN EWING 7808             2   1  0    21       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNAGGLEPUSS 7739              1   2  1    21       TEAM TOONS (764)
 SKY PILOT 7769                3   0  0    20       OBG! (765)
 PAT 7644                      2   1  1    20       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 RU BRINGER 7510               2   1  0    20       LES TURFISTES (727)
 SIBERIAN WASTES 7802          1   2  1    20       NUKE TEST (769)
 LILY UPTIGHT 7722             1   1  0    20       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
-SUZY SUICIDE 7682             3   1  1    19       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 JONHY BOUNCER 7718            2   1  0    19       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
-CURARE 5132                   4   6  0    18       PURE POISON (478)
 RACHEL 7711                   4   6  0    18       FRIENDS (759)
-BLACK BOLT 7664               2   2  2    18       FANTASTIC FIVE (477)
 QUEEN OF THE SOUTH 7774       2   0  0    18       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 MILK STOUT 7594               1   3  0    18       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 GRIMHILD 7668                 4   5  0    17       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 JEZEBEL 7367                  4   5  0    17       NEW VENGEANCE (721)
 RACHAEL MADDOW 7632           2   3  0    17       MSNBC (755)
 THE DARK ONE 7747             2   0  0    17       I HATE THEM (597)
 CLANCY 7713                   1   2  0    17       ERRATA! (760)
 HAM BURGLAR 7698              1   2  0    17       FAST FOOD (724)
 THE GOLDEN EGG 7806           2   1  1    16       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 BUGS 7737                     2   1  0    16       TEAM TOONS (764)
 ENCORE DEBOUT 7788            2   1  0    16       LES TURFISTES (727)
 ATROCITY AWAKENED 7729        2   1  0    15       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 DUMBO 7791                    2   1  1    14       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 VOLUND 7670                   2   7  1    14       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 WHAT'D I SAY 7742             1   2  1    14       OBG! (765)
 SMALL WORLD 7794              1   2  0    14       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 OH BOY 7746                   2   1  0    13       OBG! (765)
 LAKEFRONT 7714                2   1  0    13       ERRATA! (760)
 DOG ON THE LOOSE 7756         2   1  0    13       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 MY LAST TWENTY 7793           1   2  0    13       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 ROOT WIZARD 7660              1   2  0    13       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
 MAUL CHOLESTEROL 7657         1   2  0    13       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 URANUS 7811                   1   1  0    13       THANATOS (771)
 DUNGEON PORTER 7837           1   1  0    13       HORNY GOAT X (750)
 LONELY TRUCHER 7724           4   0  0    12       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 WARLORD 7819                  2   1  0    12       THE UNHOLY ONES (772)
 DEEJAY SPINNER 7719           2   1  0    12       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 RON 7507                      1   2  0    12       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
 CHERRI BOMB 7716              1   2  0    12       ERRATA! (760)
 VALDEZ VENGEANCE 7834         1   1  0    12       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 STING 7656                    2   1  0    11       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 WAKING DREAMS 7728            2   1  0    11       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 AVER 7667                     1   7  1    11       JOMSVIKINGS (756)
 MY LITTLE GTO 7745            1   2  0    11       OBG! (765)
 SARAH 7820                    1   1  0    11       THE UNHOLY ONES (772)
 CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ 7741        1   2  0    11       TEAM TOONS (764)
-SUCCUBUS 7836                 1   0  0    11       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 TEACUPS 7790                  3   0  0    10       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 CHRIS HAYES 7695              1   2  0    10       MSNBC (755)
 HORNET 7842                   1   0  0    10       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 POSEIDON 7812                 1   0  0    10       THANATOS (771)
 SHADOW OF A SEASON 7727       1   2  0     9       DREAMS OF KADATH (762)
 NK 7800                       1   2  0     9       NUKE TEST (769)
 HIRO 7803                     1   2  0     9       NUKE TEST (769)
 SURFER JOE 7770               2   1  0     7       OBG! (765)
 COBRA 7704                    2   1  0     7       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 MR HECKLES 7797               2   1  0     7       FRIENDS (759)
 RATTLER 7654                  1   2  0     7       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 FRENCH FRY PIE 7832           1   1  0     7       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
 BILL 7645                     0   3  0     7       ALL-STAR NANA'S (457)
-JOCLYN JOYBRINGER 7777        1   0  0     6       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 OLD N BITTER 7851             1   0  0     6       HORNY GOAT X (750)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SYANNE SHADEBREAKER 7780      1   0  0     6       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7684          1   3  0     6       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 THE SAGE WARD 7849            1   0  0     6       TORUS (32)
 FLY PIZZA PIE 7646            1   2  0     6       MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
-CHUCKY 7683                   1   3  0     6       DEVIL'S REJECTS (758)
 M. CHARDONNAY 7687            1   2  0     5       SHEWISH BUFFET (748)
 KWEEN 7818                    1   2  0     5       THE UNHOLY ONES (772)
 TOUPEE ARNOLD 7805            1   2  0     5       SATAN'S RANCHERS (770)
 DEPUTY FIFE 7768              1   2  0     5       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 MIGHTY MANFRED 7771           1   2  0     5       TEAM TOONS (764)
 CHARLIE CLIPBOARD 7720        1   2  0     5       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 BUBBA GUMP 7852               1   0  0     5       BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
-LENOLIN LIGHTBEARER 7776      1   0  0     5       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 SCALES 7833                   1   1  0     4       SERPENTS HOLD 200 (749)
 LUMBER JACK 7723              0   4  0     4       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 PARA 7767                     0   3  0     3       ERRATA! (760)
 FLOWER POWER 7792             0   3  0     3       THE WILLBURYS 47A (768)
 HELIOS 7809                   0   3  0     3       THANATOS (771)
 JAMICE 7798                   0   3  0     3       FRIENDS (759)
 SITKA SERENITY 7796           0   3  0     3       ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
 CORWYN 7821                   0   2  0     2       THE UNHOLY ONES (772)
 FEZZIK 7439                   0   2  0     2       THE BIZZARR (716)
 SELENE 7810                   0   2  0     2       THANATOS (771)
 HONEY BARTENDER 7721          0   2  0     2       KNIGHT-CLUB (761)
 FIRE ANT 7830                 0   2  0     2       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 ADEO MORI SERVUS 7782         0   2  0     2       IN QETERNUM (718)
 REBEL SCUM 7843               0   1  0     1       OTTODROME TW (728)
 GODSPEED 7850                 0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)
-PETROCIAN PEACEMAKER 7778     0   1  0     1       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 HOT HANDS 7823                0   1  0     1       THE UNDERGRADS (773)
 SLUG 7841                     0   1  0     1       REAL MEN WEAR PINK (757)
 BRING IT 7824                 0   1  0     1       THE UNDERGRADS (773)
 DR HEAD TRIP 7826             0   1  0     1       THE UNDERGRADS (773)
 MONSTER 7825                  0   1  0     1       THE UNDERGRADS (773)
-EDARD EYEBRIGHT 7779          0   1  0     1       ILLUMINATED ONES (767)
 MARCUS AURELIUS 7846          0   1  0     1       TORUS (32)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CLOSED MONDAYS 7749     1  2 0 BASH BROS PARK 766   SNAGGLEPUSS 7739      320   
SERIAL COWBOY 7661      0  2 0 BUBBA'S TW ARMY 754  WHAT'D I SAY 7742     319   
GIZMO 6941             16 13 1 DARQUE FORCES 396    WINGED MONKEY         320  NONE
CYRUS THE VIRUS 7685    0  1 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  BLACK BOLT 7664       316  NOT REVENGED
LEMURE 7686             1  2 0 DEVIL'S REJECTS 758  BLACK BOLT 7664       318   
NAVIGATOR'S TALE 7730   0  1 0 DREAMS OF KADATH 762 OPPENHEIMER 7625      318   
CHANDLER 7705           4  3 0 FRIENDS 759          CARLA 6225            317   
DIRTY LAGER 7838        0  1 0 HORNY GOAT X 750     PAT 7644              319  JUST REVENGED
HAY PATE 7647           0  3 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 DUMBO 7791            320   
LUMINOUS LOX 6495      11  9 0 MYSTIC ORC FEAST 416 WRATH 7428            318  JUST REVENGED
WHO'S NEXT 7505         1  1 0 NEW VENGEANCE 721    SIBERIAN WASTES 7802  320   
FANCY LAD 7675          0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 SUZY SUICIDE 7682     316  NOT REVENGED
LACE MUTTON 7676        0  2 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 VOLUND 7670           317   
WASP 7829               0  1 0 REAL MEN WEAR PI 757 MONICA 7706           319   
FANG 7688               0  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 20 749 THE GOLDEN EGG 7806   318   
GAIA 7813               2  1 0 THANATOS 771         REBECCA 7789          320   
RESTLESS NATIVE 7848    0  1 0 TORUS 32             TOTO'S REVENGE        320  NONE
THE CUTPURSE 7847       0  1 0 TORUS 32             ROYAL PAIN            320  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

LBA+ -- Super kudos!  Amazing!  A salute on your second turn.  Who'd have thought it?
Why, it must really, really feel good to play so far above your ability.  Hubba,
hubba. -- Oz The All Congratulatory

Duelmaster?  Who IS that Duelmaster!?  We Ozers are all proud of you, Broomstick. --
Oz The All Proud (And pointing out yet another case of playing over one's ability.)

South Spoon -- You showed me!  Great challenge, nice win.  How does it feel picking
on a... Ding Dong

Hey, Uncle D.! -- Enjoyed yet another spot of yours.  You are keeping up the great
work started back on Noblish Island.  Thanks for settling on North Fork and The Turf
Wars.  You, and your teammates are such a great addition. -- Oz The All Praising

Thundercracker -- What was THAT?!  Well, shucks.  If you are going to treat me that
way, I may just never challenge you again.  You meanie! -- Fence, Land Of Oz

Liam?  Liam!?  Salutations, Amigo.  Welcome back to you and your personal ads.  The
same magic?  Nah; I think not.  The SCOMSS grouping just seemed to have that THAT.
OFLB (Oz Feast Le Banana) hasn't seemed to find it yet.  And with a name like that...
-- Oz The All Welcoming

Toupe Arnold -- My boss says that it is always a pleasure to defeat one of your
boss's.  I wonder what the heck he means? -- Zeke, Land Of Oz

Rusty, Captain Mannequin?  Well, we have definitely looked listless and unfocused for
two full rounds.  Rusty and cannot seem to find the Tin Man's oil can!  I guess it
really is time to step it up a notch.  We probably DO need to be motivated.  I am
glad you are Captain and have to figure just how to get our motley mess up off our
lazy, listless, lumps. -- Oz The All Listless

Frosty -- I was proud of that one!  You know what they always say, don't you?  "A
broom in the hand is worth two Frostys in the belly." -- Broomstick, Duelmaster

     That's debatable.

BTW, Captain Mannequin, way to complain to The Commission about our challenges not
getting through.  It worked!  We got 8 challenges through in round two.  That is HALF
the fights!  Amazing!  However, the anticipated effects were not so valuable.  OFLB
challenges:  4-4-0.  Opponent challenges:  3-3-0.  (sigh)  Go figure. -- Oz The All
Informative

Jack B. Nimble -- Perhaps things would have better had you been Jack B. Quick? --
Emerald, Land Of Oz

A big shout out to all North Forkers and all Turf Warmongers!  You are making this
the greatest arena in the land! -- Oz The All Happy

Ouch!  OFLB is facing some adversity those days... but a man is coming to fight the
rising odds... fear Dirt Bogart, my new champion! -- LP, for Les Turfistes

Stormlord -- <points to Sitka... points to my boot heel> *devilish grin* -- Glitter
Boy, mgr. Real Men Wear Pink

Slugbait -- Well, you got your win.  Are you coming back for more?  Be careful;
coming back to the well too many times may cost you another warrior. -- Skaven

Queen of Tarts -- Marcu, Mice Cream, Luminous Lox... trying to join the club?  I am
looking for #4. -- Wrath

M*MBO -- A very good showing for the first round. -- Skaven

Club Fed -- Hmmm... Not the start I was hoping for.  Let's buckle down and get back
to positives! -- Skaven

All -- I, Mandingo, manager of the Undergrads declare my allegiance to Shiv Art,
captained by Uncle D of Knight-Club.  It's time to get serious and beat the odds!  We
are putting the other alliances on notice.  We are coming for the #1 spot. --
Mandingo

All -- Piss on this!  Let's fight.  Ahhhhh!!! -- Alexander

Oz the All-Knowing Teacher -- Thank you for the welcome.  We plan on staying around
for a long time--with my club, team, and bad gambling habit I'm not going anywhere.
-- Uncle D the one-time student

Mr Heckles -- That was not in my plans at all.  To lose to you like that is just sad.
Now I offer you a one-time VIP pass to forget it ever happened. -- Charlie Clipboard

Gautrek -- The beating on your head made some deep bass sound.  Can I use it at the
club? -- Deejay Spinner

Ice Wind -- Uncle D told me I must apologize for going crazy in there.  So I sorry.
(I really not.)  He told me that's why I lost.  Okay, I believe that.  I throw you
out. -- Johny Bouncer

Gaia -- I thought we were on the same team.  So why are you so mean? -- Honey
Bartender

All -- I confirm that the Undergrads, mgr. Mandingo, is part of Shiv Art. -- Uncle
D., Captain of Shiv Art

Oz and Master D -- Great summary, but really?  I understand the 200K salary, but
asking for perks is just plain greedy! -- Uncle D

Might as well run away while you still can!  LBA+ has come to town and even your
children are not safe. -- Assur

This Turf is owned by LBA+!!! -- Assur

What do you call Horny Goats in a Bar located next to a Park having a Shewish Buffet?
answer....  DOMINATION

It's a good thing that the other teams can get all those points from stylemaster and
duelmaster titles or this contest would be a runaway! -- Assur
P.S.  Gotta enjoy success when you've got it.  You may never see it again...

Norton -- That must have been pretty embarrassing, having an accident like that.  You
shouldn't have stayed in the park so long! -- No Bathroom

Helios -- Next time you come here on a Monday, it'll be more than just a reprimand.
-- Closed Mondays

Small World -- Small won't help you catch me.  I will do anything I can to retain my
freedom! -- Dog on the Loose

Jonhy Bouncer -- Too cold for you?  Next time stay at home! -- Ice Wind

Khan -- Squeek!  EEK! -- Brave New Rodent

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GIZMO was viciously butchered by WINGED MONKEY in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
THE CUTPURSE was slaughtered by ROYAL PAIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
RESTLESS NATIVE was put to death by TOTO'S REVENGE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
QUEEN OF TARTS defeated WRATH in a 2 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
EXPOSED devastated PAT in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
BROOMSTICK was subdued by BIG MAC in a 1 minute master's Challenge Title competition.
ACE HARDWARE was savagely defeated by FRASIER in a 3 minute Challenge struggle.
SOUTH SPOON was overcome by CARLA in a 1 minute expert's Challenge fight.
RAVAGE won victory over PRACTICAL GENE in a 1 minute expert's Challenge duel.
NORM savagely defeated BLIZZARD in a popular 2 minute gory expert's Challenge duel.
YRSA beat ASTROTRAIN in a 2 minute gory Challenge melee.
DILECTONON FERIO was overpowered by DIRT BOGART in a 1 minute Challenge match.
STARSCREAM was handily defeated by EMILY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
HAM BURGLAR was demolished by LAWRENCE O'DONNELL in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
KIKI was handily defeated by DONETO in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
ODOBAN slimly won victory over JACK B. NIMBLE in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
MIMI unbelievably bested BUGS in a crowd pleasing 6 minute gory Challenge brawl.
ZEKE outlasted WAKING DREAMS in a tiresome 14 minute Challenge match.
ICE WIND overpowered SURFER JOE in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge match.
GAUTREK viciously subdued GLUTTONY in a 2 minute bloody Challenge competition.
GRIMHILD was narrowly defeated by FENCE in a crowd boring 14 minute Challenge fight.
VOLUND was demolished by AMBITIOUS LARD in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
ELDER THANG devastated MILK STOUT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
JOEY overpowered HELIOS in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
WENDY savagely defeated RU BRINGER in a action packed 3 minute gory Challenge fight.
CORWYN was defeated by TEACUPS in a 6 minute beginner's Challenge match.
JAMICE was overpowered by CAPTURED PORK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
FRENCH FRY PIE beat HONEY BARTENDER in a 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
DOG ON THE LOOSE won victory over TOUPEE ARNOLD in a 2 minute novice's Challenge bout.
LONELY TRUCHER outlasted SITKA SERENITY in a slow 11 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
CHARLIE CLIPBOARD was beaten by RON in a 1 minute Challenge match.
JONHY BOUNCER overpowered MR HECKLES in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight.
FIRE ANT was overpowered by SARAH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
KWEEN was devastated by SKY PILOT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
VALDEZ VENGEANCE devastated PARA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
DUNGEON PORTER was viciously subdued by FAIRBANKS GLOW in a 6 minute Challenge bout.
ATROCITY AWAKENED subdued CAPTAIN PEACHFUZZ in a 1 minute Challenge match.
WARLORD was handily defeated by OPPENHEIMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
CLANCY overpowered AVER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
AXEMAN EWING overpowered HIRO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
ROOSTER COGBURN handily defeated RACHEL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DEPUTY FIFE was defeated by OH BOY in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge battle.
THE GOLDEN EGG vanquished BILL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
TAINTED WHEAT handily defeated MY LITTLE GTO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge duel.
ENCORE DEBOUT bested SHADOW OF A SEASON in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge match.
BULL LONEY handily defeated WHAT'D I SAY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
TALKEETNA was overpowered by DR. COX in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ULTIMA REGUM was savagely defeated by PETIT JARDINIA in a 2 minute veteran's duel.
SLUGBAIT was overcome by DRAGO KAZOV in a 2 minute master's bout.
WILHELM SCREAM viciously subdued NORTON in a crowd pleasing 2 minute veteran's match.
FROSTY demolished KHALHUMS DWARF in a popular 1 minute one-sided battle.
TEMPTRESS handily defeated NO BATHROOM in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
YORL savagely defeated THE CREEPSTER in a exciting 4 minute brutal struggle.
SOULTAKER was devastated by THUNDERCRACKER in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
KHAN was subdued by CONVICTED BEEF in a 1 minute battle.
DING DONG unbelievably bested WRAITH in a popular 2 minute gory brawl.
CANUM MOERDART viciously subdued EVIL ONE in a popular 5 minute gory struggle.
EMERALD unbelievably bested BLITZWING in a 2 minute conflict.
ACCUSER was bested by BRAVE NEW RODENT in a exciting 1 minute gory bout.
ASP was vanquished by ALEX TREBEK in a exciting 1 minute mismatched match.
SEWARD FOLLY viciously subdued EINSTEIN in a 1 minute bloody bout.
NIINE was defeated by ASYLUM in a 2 minute bout.
RAGLIN devastated MASTER DARQUE in a action packed 1 minute gory uneven match.
TUUMS defeated ROOT WIZARD in a 2 minute fight.
SARAPHINE luckily beat MAUL CHOLESTEROL in a 2 minute melee.
CHICKEN A LA KING was unbelievably bested by DYLAN RATIGAN in a 7 minute match.
BIKINI ATOLL unbelievably bested STING in a 2 minute gory fight.
LOS ALAMOS devastated HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven match.
RACHAEL MADDOW was devastated by VENOMOUS CLEMENTINE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CHRIS MATTHEWS demolished SCALES in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
LEGION viciously subdued JEZEBEL in a unpopular 7 minute brutal duel.
SNAGGLEPUSS viciously butchered CLOSED MONDAYS in a exciting 3 minute gruesome match.
MIGHTY MANFRED devastated MARCUS AURELIUS in a 2 minute gory one-sided battle.
THE DARK ONE vanquished HOT HANDS in a 2 minute one-sided melee.
LUMBER JACK was handily defeated by URANUS in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
LILY UPTIGHT overpowered COBRA in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DEEJAY SPINNER was demolished by AEGRE ID MILES in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
CHERRI BOMB vanquished MONSTER in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
MIGHTY MANFRED was savagely defeated by POSEIDON in a 2 minute novice's struggle.
QUEEN OF THE SOUTH overpowered DR HEAD TRIP in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
ADEO MORI SERVUS was savagely defeated by MY LAST TWENTY in a 3 minute novice's fray.
LAKEFRONT demolished SLUG in a 1 minute uneven bout.
REBECCA slaughtered GAIA in a 1 minute uneven match.
DUMBO viciously butchered HAY PATE in a popular 2 minute bloody beginner's match.
FLOWER POWER was subdued by THE SAGE WARD in a 1 minute novice's brawl.
SMALL WORLD overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CHRIS HAYES overcame M. CHARDONNAY in a 2 minute novice's melee.
NK was beaten by HORNET in a 1 minute novice's bout.
SIBERIAN WASTES murdered WHO'S NEXT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
RATTLER viciously subdued BRING IT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute beginner's bout.
SELENE was overpowered by AXEL in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
FLY PIZZA PIE beat FEZZIK in a 5 minute amateur's fight.
REBEL SCUM was unbelievably bested by BUBBA GUMP in a 6 minute beginner's battle.
GODSPEED was unbelievably bested by OLD N BITTER in a 3 minute beginner's melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  30         TOTAL PARRY       72 -  53 -  2      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     27         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  16 -  1      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                      27         STRIKING ATTACK  100 -  96 - 10      51  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 26         PARRY-STRIKE      14 -  15 -  3      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 24         LUNGING ATTACK    84 -  94 -  3      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  16         AIMED BLOW        68 -  86 -  2      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   14         WALL OF STEEL     42 -  54 -  3      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    8         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  55 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         SLASHING ATTACK   43 -  68 -  5      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  32 -  1      35  |

Turn 320 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK    14 - 16         3  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK    10 -  6     AIMED BLOW        11 - 16         3  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK   13 - 11     WALL OF STEEL      5 -  9         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   14 - 12                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY       14 - 13                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       BIG MAC 7120               16   7  0  112 FAST FOOD (724)
TOTAL PARRY      QUEEN OF TARTS 5980        14   9  0  118 MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
SLASHING ATTACK  PETIT JARDINIA 7154        12   4  0  118 LES TURFISTES (727)
STRIKING ATTACK  DR. COX 7009               10   3  1  107 SECOND BANANAS (573)
LUNGING ATTACK   WILHELM SCREAM 7162        14   5  0  106 OTTODROME TW (728)
PARRY-LUNGE      DRAGO KAZOV 7100           15  12  1   95 OBSIDIAN ORDER (715)
WALL OF STEEL    TALKEETNA 7047             19  15  0   94 ALASKAN PIPELINE (714)
BASHING ATTACK   YRSA 7671                   6   3  0   55 JOMSVIKINGS (756)
PARRY-STRIKE     OPPENHEIMER 7625            3   0  1   35 BUBBA'S TW ARMY (754)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NORM 6227.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
CHICKEN A LA KING 7583.  The ten other most popular fighters were REBEL SCUM 7843, 
YORL 7153, GODSPEED 7850, WENDY 7552, FAIRBANKS GLOW 7639, WILHELM SCREAM 7162, CANUM 
MOERDART 7531, MY LAST TWENTY 7793, FRASIER 6224, and NORM 6227.

The least popular fighter this week was ZEKE 7584.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FENCE 7498, WAKING DREAMS 7728, LONELY TRUCHER 7724, TEACUPS 7790, 
JEZEBEL 7367, MIMI 7450, FLY PIZZA PIE 7646, MARCUS AURELIUS 7846, SELENE 7810, and 
BRING IT 7824.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

QUEEN OF TARTS (47-5980) MYSTIC ORC FEAST (416)
BROOMSTICK (47-7057) LAND OF OZ (217)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

GIZMO (47-6941) DARQUE FORCES (396)