DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 02/20/2018    Duedate: 03/19/2018

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-389

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

JACK B. QUICK
ROYAL FLUSH (48)
(47-8246) [17-27-0,120]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

JACK B. QUICK                  LITTLE BOY
ROYAL FLUSH (48)               BOOK OF THOMAS (801)
(47-8246) [17-27-0,120]        (47-8548) [2-0-0,26]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

JACK B. QUICK                  FRUIT CUP
ROYAL FLUSH (48)               FAST FOOD (724)
(47-8246) [17-27-0,120]        (47-9024) [11-12-4,95]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

ROYAL FLUSH (48)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SPECTRAL STEEL (778)        60
2. WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)         46      LAND OF OZ (217)
3. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            41      Unchartered Team
4. BOOK OF THOMAS (801)        38
5. DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)       33      DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 LAND OF OZ (217)         854 545 30 61.0   1/ 1 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         11  4 0
 2- 2 SHEWISH DINER (806)      126  88 12 58.9   2/ 3 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)     9  6 2
 3- 3 BAD BEATS (791)           80  63  1 55.9   3/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)       8  4 1
 4/ 4 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         942 750 48 55.7   4/ 6 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       6  9 1
 5- 5 STAR PRAIRIE (821)        55  44  5 55.6   5- 4*METAL KNIGHTS (839)       5  5 0
 6/ 6 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     42  34  4 55.3   6/10 LAND OF OZ (217)          5  5 0
 7/ 8 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)     93  80  9 53.8   7/ 5 FAST FOOD (724)           5  7 1
 8- 7*METAL KNIGHTS (839)        8   7  1 53.3   8/ 8 WHITE WOLVES (832)        4  6 0
 9- 9 DARQUE FORCES (396)      334 297 25 52.9   9- 7 DARQUE FORCES (396)       3  1 0
10-10 80'S DISCO (810)          85  79  2 51.8  10/13 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     3  3 0
11/12 BASH BROS PARK (766)     125 122 10 50.6  11-12 STAR PRAIRIE (821)        2  0 0
12/11 FAST FOOD (724)          171 169 12 50.3  12/15 BASH BROS PARK (766)      2  3 0
13/ 0 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  26  27  1 49.1  13/ 0*DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)     2  3 0
14/13 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)      143 150  8 48.8  14/17*BOOK OF THOMAS (801)      2  8 0
15/14 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      77  81  3 48.7  15/ 0 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  1  1 0
16/15 WHITE WOLVES (832)        32  40  0 44.4  16/14 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      1  1 0
17-16 ROYAL COMATENTS (301)     57  78  2 42.2  17-11 BAD BEATS (791)           1  1 0
18/ 0*DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)      2   3  0 40.0  18- 9 80'S DISCO (810)          1  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       42  73  3 36.5  19-16 ROYAL COMATENTS (301)     1  4 0
20/17 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     29  51  0 36.3  20-18 SHEWISH DINER (806)       0  4 0
21-19 BIG IDEA (32)            262 482 26 35.2  21-19 BIG IDEA (32)             0  3 0
22/20*BOOK OF THOMAS (801)       2   8  0 20.0  22/20 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of NORTH FORK!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp 
Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Fortune did not smile upon 80'S 
DISCO this time out who this turn suffered a fall into 18th position in the wake of a 
0-0-0 round.  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the corner!  Witness 
how this week LAND OF OZ went 1-3-0 to move up 4 in the rankings.  My praise to BIG 
LAKE GROOVE for their 4-1-1 week this time out.  Indeed, it was a skillfully fought 
round deserving of notice!  WARRIOR WIGHT caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as he skillfully bested HUMBUG and was awarded 60 points in recognition.  
In one of the week's more notable duels, ARMENIUS put down BRAINS, causing him to 
lose 7 points of recognition in the process.  Most watched of the fights this week, 
the spotlight was on ALIISZA as she bore arms against the Bloodfeud of reigning 
Duelmaster JACK B. QUICK.  Not for nothing has JACK B. QUICK in the past laid claim 
to the Duelmaster's throne, and this week he's proven his combat skill yet again.  
Would you believe that over half of the old women in NORTH FORK seem to feel that 
they could fight better than you gladiators?   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In NORTH FORK "art" is a word that has 
long since passed from the language!  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided when 
this week's challenge seeking began.  BIG LAKE GROOVE is feared.  This much I can 
say.  If you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard pressed to find any of 
ROYAL FLUSH last week.  Busy avoiding BIG LAKE GROOVE?  Mighty fighters cannot but 
expect competition from those below.  WHIPPED CREAM take warning!  You have more than 
a few enemies in NORTH FORK.  A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this 
week, it seems that P-NUT FIREBEARD posted a challenge against the more highly 
recognized AMIINANY DANGER.  The results, you ask?  Well, the firebrand P-NUT 
FIREBEARD was defeated by AMIINANY DANGER.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline 
of steel.   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  Strange what qualities come forth in the face of certain doom.  
BLINDING MAN has the town astir with the news of his Dark Arena victory!  Walk proud, 
warriors of ROYAL FLUSH!  By striking down ALIISZA you have avenged the honor of your 
dead.  Your virtue is known to all in NORTH FORK.  My hearty congratulations GRANULO, 
for thy revenge upon WHIPPED CREAM, slayer of thy fallen comrade.  Next time she will 
know better, eh?  Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears arms.  One thing 
is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Ahh, but I can hear the spires of a far off 
city calling to me.  I must away!  Till next we meet remember:  a fool flies into a 
rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by the same thing only once.  Zontani 
Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JACK B. QUICK 8246           17  27  0   120       ROYAL FLUSH (48)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CYCLONUS 8365                13   5  1   113       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 GRANULO 8496                 19  13  0   107       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 MUNCHKIN 8432                19  14  0   102       LAND OF OZ (217)
 DATABASE EDITOR 9079         14   7  2   101       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 BULLY 8410                   13  13  0   100       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 HUMBUG 8655                  13  10  2    97       LAND OF OZ (217)
 FRUIT CUP 9024               11  12  4    95       FAST FOOD (724)
-BUSTED ACES 8580             18  10  0    94       BAD BEATS (791)
 STYLE CHANGER 9162            9   9  2    92       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SKYWARP 8063                 16  12  1    91       DARQUE FORCES (396)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146         12   8  0    90       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 WHIPPED CREAM 8768           14  12  1    86       FAST FOOD (724)
-HAWKINS 8949                 11   7  0    83       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
-STARSCREAM 7419              16  16  1    81       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-VIKING VAMPIRE 8992          14   8  0    78       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
-RAVEN 3354                   10   9  0    78       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
-HARRY SLAUGHTER 8493          9   5  1    78       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
-HENCHMAN 8756                 8   3  0    76       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
-KANSAS 9062                   8   5  0    70       LAND OF OZ (217)
 POUTINE 8769                 13  13  1    69       FAST FOOD (724)
-VARS FOLLEY 9025             10   5  3    68       STAR PRAIRIE (821)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RETURN OF THE KING 9124       7   4  0    66       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 A DLEGG 9204                 11   5  0    64       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
-HOBO CASSEROLE 8622           9  11  1    63       SHEWISH DINER (806)
 BLACK CHAOS 8872             11  13  0    62       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-PROBUS 4910                   6   4  0    62       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-CRYING KID 8392               6   5  0    61       BASH BROS PARK (766)
 AMIINANY DANGER 8491         10   7  1    60       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 VESPASIAN 4932                7   6  0    60       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SLUDGE 8470                   9   4  1    56       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-PLANET ROCK 9078              6   2  0    56       80'S DISCO (810)
 SLUSH PUPPY 9023             16   7  0    55       FAST FOOD (724)
-LICINIUS 4912                 5   4  0    54       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 ALIISZA 8871                  8  13  1    53       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-MUD PATH 8767                 7   4  0    52       BASH BROS PARK (766)
-THE SAFETY DANCE 8700         8   4  0    51       80'S DISCO (810)
-LACKEY 8760                   5   5  0    50       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 ARMENIUS 9159                 8   7  0    48       WHITE WOLVES (832)
-DUMBLEGORE 8492               7   7  1    48       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 ACE MERRILL 9319              6   2  0    46       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 QUEEN LATIFAH 9038            6  11  0    45       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-RUMP ROAST 9066               8   5  2    41       SHEWISH DINER (806)
 HEADLESS NICK 8776            6   6  0    41       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 GALLIENUS 4956                4   6  1    41       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 MADCAP 9306                   5   6  2    40       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
-KELLANTH 3410                 9   7  0    39       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 P-NUT FIREBEARD 8874          8  14  0    38       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-RON WE SLAY 8494              8   6  1    37       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 GLADIUS 8873                  7  16  0    37       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-HACKER 9156                   5   4  0    37       STAR PRAIRIE (821)
-AUGUSTUS 4909                 3   6  0    37       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RASP 3353                     7  11  0    32       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 DIONEXUS 9157                 6   9  0    31       WHITE WOLVES (832)
-LEGIONNAIRE LICH 9009         4   3  0    31       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 MARATHON MAN 9313             7   2  0    29       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
-HELLYEAH 9347                 2   1  1    28       METAL KNIGHTS (839)
-DISTURBED 9350                2   1  0    28       METAL KNIGHTS (839)
-THAT'S POKER 9262             4   3  0    26       BAD BEATS (791)
 LITTLE BOY 8548               2   0  0    26       BOOK OF THOMAS (801)
 BRAINS 9296                   5   5  0    25       LAND OF OZ (217)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-COW PIE 9281                  1   0  1    23       SHEWISH DINER (806)
-JACKYL 9349                   2   1  0    22       METAL KNIGHTS (839)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HYPER AGGRESSIVE 9261         3   2  1    21       BAD BEATS (791)
 PARADIGM 9018                 4   7  0    20       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-BEN HURT 4150                 3   1  0    20       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
-TROUBLE 4151                  2   2  0    20       ROYAL COMATENTS (301)
 BELISARIUS 9302               4   5  0    19       WHITE WOLVES (832)
-SLIPKNOT 9348                 2   1  0    19       METAL KNIGHTS (839)
 LEAF 9384                     1   0  0    15       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 ADDICTION 9387                1   0  0    15       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
-RAZORCLAW 9363                1   0  0    12       DARQUE FORCES (396)
 TELLIUS 9373                  1   1  0    11       WHITE WOLVES (832)
 LITTLE VARIOUS 9341           2   4  0    10       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 BRUTUS 9380                   1   0  0    10       WHITE WOLVES (832)
 TENTENABULATION 9381          1   0  0    10       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-STOOGE 9259                   2   2  0     8       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
-HELLHOUND HESTATI 9211        1   1  0     8       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 DING DONG 9342                1   2  0     5       LAND OF OZ (217)
-AMARANTHE 9346                0   3  0     3       METAL KNIGHTS (839)
-WHO'S ZOOMIN WHO 9351         0   3  0     3       80'S DISCO (810)
 WHIRLPOOL 9385                0   1  0     1       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 HAMMERHEAD 9383               0   1  0     1       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 FEATHER 9386                  0   1  0     1       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
RELAX 8706             10  9 0 80'S DISCO 810       STYLE CHANGER 9162    386   
SEX (I'M A) 8704       10  4 0 80'S DISCO 810       STYLE CHANGER 9162    387   
ALONE IN THE DAR 9382   0  1 0 BASH BROS PARK 766   IC ENFORCER           389  NONE
JOLLY GREEN 9255        2  2 0 BIG IDEA 32          COW PIE 9281          386   
DIEDIE 9376             0  1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 801   IC TASKMASTER         389  NONE
HEDIES 9377             0  1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 801   IC ENFORCER           389  NONE
ITDIES 9379             0  1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 801   AA DESERTER           389  NONE
SHEDIES 9378            0  1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 801   AVATAR OF DARKHE      389  NONE
LYRIC TENOR 9104        5  5 0 ROYAL FLUSH 48       ALIISZA 8871          388  JUST REVENGED
DUD 9375                0  1 0 SATAN'S MINIONS 813  NOT SO GENTLEBEN      389  NONE
CAPTAIN RONDO 9205      8  7 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 480    WHIPPED CREAM 8768    388  JUST REVENGED
DAQ 9388                0  1 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 480    AA DESERTER           389  NONE
CRASSUS 9357            1  1 0 WHITE WOLVES 832     MADCAP 9306           388   
LYCURGUS 9356           0  1 0 WHITE WOLVES 832     HELLYEAH 9347         386   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Congrats to our old friend Jack B. Quick, Duelmaster of North Fork. -- Oz The All 
Praising

Scorpio, I guess that after they, The Scarlet One and Droppings, robbed that dinky 
Laundromat with the old lady clientele, and then scoured the roads of the state for 
aluminum cans, they didn't have enough to pay for that silly name for long.  All hail 
North Fork. -- Oz The All Knowing
P.S. You know, his mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Canadian Fruit Cup, you were too sweet and too many calories for me. -- Kansas (Rock 
Chalk, Jayhawks!)

Big Lake Groovies, you played us to a draw, and you are one sister I would never take 
the chance of kissing.
Humbug wiped out Database Editot
Blinding Man chomped on Munchkin
You know what they say Groovers, if your manager's brains were dynamite, there 
wouldn't be enough to blow his cap off.
-- Oz The All Informative

Health. Humility. Honor. North Fork forever. -- Oz The All Proclaiming

Hell Yeah -- My hand hurts like Hell -- Yeah!  Maybe one of my brothers will succeed 
where I failed! -- Belisarius

Littel Boy -- I doubt I will be able to have any children now!  That longsword was 
sharp! -- Tellius

P-Nut Firebeard -- Next time we should make more of a show for the crowd! Still, I won 
and you fell asleep! -- Dionexus

A Dlegg -- You have much improved since the last time we fought! -- Armenius

Madcap -- We hope the skills you learned from slaying Crassus were worth it!  You are 
going to need them!  Our brother will be avenged! -- White Wolves

Style Changer -- A downchallenge of 45 points ending in a loss... That's  one of the 
most pathetic events I have witnessed in years in the arenas.  What's you manager's 
name again, I can't seem to remember it! heh...I  guess I won't anyway. -- La 
Guillotine (Weird Alchemy) and Granulo

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLINDING MAN viciously butchered NOT SO GENTLEBEN in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
ALONE IN THE DARK was murdered by IC ENFORCER in a 3 minute Dark Arena melee.
DAQ was dispatched by AA DESERTER in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
ITDIES was butchered by AA DESERTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SHEDIES was assassinated by AVATAR OF DARKHEART in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
DIEDIE was butchered by IC TASKMASTER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
HEDIES was assassinated by IC ENFORCER in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
DUD was savagely slain by NOT SO GENTLEBEN in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
JACK B. QUICK savagely defeated ALIISZA in a 2 minute expert's Bloodfeud Title melee.
GRANULO vanquished WHIPPED CREAM in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud fight.
DIONEXUS was viciously subdued by MADCAP in a popular 3 minute brutal Bloodfeud fight.
HUMBUG was viciously subdued by WARRIOR WIGHT in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
MUNCHKIN unbelievably bested FRUIT CUP in a 4 minute master's Challenge conflict.
P-NUT FIREBEARD was viciously subdued by AMIINANY DANGER in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
QUEEN LATIFAH was luckily beaten by BLACK CHAOS in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
RETURN OF THE KING viciously subdued SLUSH PUPPY in a 4 minute Challenge fray.
LITTLE VARIOUS was viciously subdued by PARADIGM in a 3 minute gory Challenge brawl.
BELISARIUS was outlasted by MARATHON MAN in a exciting 9 minute Challenge match.
DATABASE EDITOR overpowered FIZBAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
BULLY devastated POUTINE in a 3 minute one-sided contest.
STYLE CHANGER savagely defeated VETERAN MERCENARY in a exciting 3 minute gory duel.
A DLEGG handily defeated GALLIENUS in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ACE MERRILL devastated GLADIUS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
HEADLESS NICK was savagely defeated by VESPASIAN in a action packed 2 minute fight.
ARMENIUS overpowered BRAINS in a 3 minute one-sided duel.
LITTLE BOY overpowered DING DONG in a 1 minute brutal uneven match.
TELLIUS vanquished FEATHER in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
TENTENABULATION handily defeated WHIRLPOOL in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HAMMERHEAD was vanquished by BRUTUS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
LEAF overpowered MAXIMILLIAN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
ADDICTION overpowered MAXIMILLIAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         WALL OF STEEL     41 -  28 -  1      59  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         TOTAL PARRY       29 -  26 -  0      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  10 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         STRIKING ATTACK   38 -  39 -  4      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         LUNGING ATTACK    50 -  52 -  2      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         AIMED BLOW        17 -  20 -  0      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK   26 -  37 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  37 -  2      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   8 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   8 -  0      20  |

Turn 389 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  6         2  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   GRANULO 8496               19  13  0  107 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
TOTAL PARRY      MUNCHKIN 8432              19  14  0  102 LAND OF OZ (217)
STRIKING ATTACK  DATABASE EDITOR 9079       14   7  2  101 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
SLASHING ATTACK  WHIPPED CREAM 8768         14  12  1   86 FAST FOOD (724)
AIMED BLOW       RETURN OF THE KING 9124     7   4  0   66 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
LUNGING ATTACK   AMIINANY DANGER 8491       10   7  1   60 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
WALL OF STEEL    ARMENIUS 9159               8   7  0   48 WHITE WOLVES (832)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is JACK B. QUICK 8246.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was FRUIT CUP 9024.  The ten other most popular fighters were AMIINANY DANGER 
8491, BELISARIUS 9302, STYLE CHANGER 9162, MADCAP 9306, JACK B. QUICK 8246, RETURN OF 
THE KING 9124, VESPASIAN 4932, POUTINE 8769, PARADIGM 9018, and BULLY 8410.

The least popular fighter this week was ALONE IN THE DARK 9382.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MARATHON MAN 9313, SLUSH PUPPY 9023, HAMMERHEAD 9383, WHIRLPOOL 
9385, FEATHER 9386, DING DONG 9342, GLADIUS 8873, GALLIENUS 4956, WHIPPED CREAM 8768, 
and HEDIES 9377.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

JACK B. QUICK (47-8246) ROYAL FLUSH (48)
DATABASE EDITOR (47-9079) BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

WARRIOR WIGHT (47-7978) SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
BLINDING MAN (47-8417) BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)

                      SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA

We have planned our summer FTF for July 13-15, 2018, in Arlington, Virginia, only 7 
miles on a quick Metro ride from Washington, D.C.!.  It will be held at the Holiday 
Inn Arlington at Ballston.  Room rates are $79 per night on 7/12 and 7/15 and $129 on 
7/13 and 7/14, 1-2 occupancy.  There's free wireless throughout the property as well 
as a fitness center, outdoor pool, and business center, as well as a resturant and bar 
inside the hotel.  There is no airport shuttle and parking is $7/day.  The rooms are 
blocked -- ask for the Reality Simulations block.  Reservations must be made by 6/12.  
(As always if you have issues making reservations, please let us know!)  

                       Hotel site:  http://www.hiarlington.com 

Look for the tournament info sheet and minioverviews some time in June.  We hope 
you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!

                                          -- RSI

                             Mission to the Twisted Lands

                                     Episode One

     Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with 
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride.  He was a huge horse, a half-giant's 
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his 
shoulders and hips.  Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant, 
Keel Woodhaven.  Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up 
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
     It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.  
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently 
toward the tree-crowded coast.  The distant trees, not just pines, were green.  They 
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot 
springs in it.
     Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur.  It had a relaxed feel about it, the 
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun.  And 
the booze was excellent, of course.  He passed the arena at the edge of town, and 
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern.  So, 
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster?  Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful 
profession?  Then he noticed the team name:  Shewish Picnic.  He snorted.  That 
explained it, all right.  As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme, 
which was present in Home Guard as well.  It was sort of funny though.  He saw that 
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle.  Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet, 
though.
     They passed a small chicken ranch.  A rooster uttered an untimely crow.  At about 
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted.  Cussing, Keel hauled on 
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently 
frightened.  He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind 
him, looking frustrated.  At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside 
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
     Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted 
the horse's sweaty neck.  "You're okay now, friend.  I'll go take care of those 
bozos."
     As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some 
with swords and some with halberds.
     "Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
     "Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old 
Brown's butt.
     "Well damn!"  Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
     "So have you," the guard continued.
     "Yeah, thought so.  Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though."  Keel 
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.  
"Who are you guys?"
     "We are the Queen's Guard."
     "What?  Queen Gemra?  Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find 
the ***holes that shot him."
     "Sir, you are mistaken.  You will be taken to a doctor.  We will arrest the 
assailants."
     "Hey!  I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand.  Anyway, they shot my horse.  My 
HORSE!  I'm gonna get 'em."  Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
     Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of 
geese.  They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs 
and walked the fastest.  The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat 
Langerman.  And you are?"
     "Keel Woodhaven."
     "I've heard of you!  The Queen will want to meet you."
     "That's fine.  Let's stick to the sides of these buildings.  If they're still 
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
     They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail 
which jingled.  However, Bonsur had a lively night life.  Music and laughter came from 
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and 
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a 
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages.  So the sounds the guards made 
weren't too noticeable.
     Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch.  He was thinking that the bad guys 
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted.  They might have left clues, though.  
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and 
signed by a notorious crimelord.  Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies... 
personalized masks.  Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers.  Anything.  Witnesses, 
even.
     There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch.  It was full night 
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
     Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
     "Yup."
     "Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
     Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.  
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
     The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer 
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there.  Keel crouched a 
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint 
greenish glow.  He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
     A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little.  Keel 
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it.  He was good at tavern darts, 
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky.  The little 
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof.  There was a startled twitch 
from the half-seen form.  At that instant, Keel lunged across the street.  His long 
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds.  More bolts came out 
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
     Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to 
reload a crossbow.  The four men charged, yelling wildly.  Tucking his sword under his 
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged 
it.  After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely.  The roof sagged, 
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it.  Keel 
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
     There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an 
alley.  Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit.  Keel's prisoner started to try to get 
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against 
the wall.
     "Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
     "Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his 
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
     "I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said.  "There's a dead one here.  I think 
there were two more."  He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured 
arm.  "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch.  If you could get them for me?"
     They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
     "What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
     Keel shrugged.  "No clue.  Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."  
He listened.  "Your guys are coming back."
     "Yeah."
     The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at 
least there were no further injuries.  The group of them returned warily to the 
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old 
Brown's wound.  After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel 
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee.  The medic set 
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely 
handsome man.  Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be 
good looking.  That didn't mean they weren't competent, though.  Brat had done pretty 
well.
     The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts.  They all sat in the main 
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair, 
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head.  "All right," said Brat.  
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
     "Not on your life, pretty boy!"  The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard 
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close 
together.  He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly 
handsome Guardsmen.
     Keel leaned forward.  "You guys shot my horse."
     "Oh.  Sorry, didn't mean to do that.  We were just shooting at you."
     "Why?"
     "Glowing sword."
     "What?"
     "Duh, it's a magic sword!  We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured 
we could sell it so we followed you."
     The half-Shew snorted.  "The Dentless isn't magic.  It was in a Chaos Gate for 
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all.  All it does, is glow.  
And cut things."
     The bandit looked chagrined.  "But... it's got to be magic."
     "Ain't.  Sorry kid."
     After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace.  Queen 
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and 
luscious curves.  She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted 
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate.  He entertained her with the story of his 
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her 
appreciation.  She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart 
belonged to another, always and forever.
     
                                      * * * * * 

                           This is a continuing adventure.  
         Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!