DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/07/2018    Duedate: 09/03/2018

NORTH FORK ARENA

DM-47    TURN-395

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MUNCHKIN
LAND OF OZ (217)
(47-8432) [25-14-0,133]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MUNCHKIN                       LORD OF BARKNESS
LAND OF OZ (217)               REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
(47-8432) [25-14-0,133]        (47-9423) [4-0-0,49]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FRUIT CUP                      SEVERUS NAPE
FAST FOOD (724)                DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
(47-9024) [12-17-4,113]        (47-9524) [0-1-0,1]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)       48
2. ROYAL FLUSH (48)            38EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
3. FRAYED SANITY (799)         36      Unchartered Team
4. LAND OF OZ (217)            34
5. DARQUE FORCES (396)         31      MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808) 105  51  6 67.3   1/ 1*MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)      10  5 0
 2/ 1*MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)       13   7  0 65.0   2/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)      10  5 0
 3/ 2 LAND OF OZ (217)         869 552 30 61.2   3/ 6 LAND OF OZ (217)          9  3 0
 4/ 0 YUPPIE HORDE (848)        25  16  1 61.0   4/ 3 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)     9  4 1
 5/ 0 LES TURFISTES (727)      138  90  6 60.5   5/12*REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)     7  5 0
 6/ 0 SECOND BANANAS (573)     328 230 34 58.8   6/ 7*WARRIORS OF OLD (844)     7  8 0
 7/ 7 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)    110  87 11 55.8   7/ 4*A BOOR RENTS (842)        6  6 1
 8/ 5 ROYAL FLUSH (48)         953 762 49 55.6   8/ 0 FRAYED SANITY (799)       5  0 0
 9/ 6 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     45  38  5 54.2   9- 8*STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)    5  4 1
10- 9 SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)   36  32  1 52.9  10/11 FAST FOOD (724)           5  7 0
11/ 8*A BOOR RENTS (842)         9   8  1 52.9  11/14 WHITE WOLVES (832)        5 10 0
12/10 DARQUE FORCES (396)      337 308 25 52.2  12/ 0 YUPPIE HORDE (848)        4  1 0
13/11 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  33  32  1 50.8  13/ 0 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808)  4  1 0
14-12*DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)     10  10  3 50.0  14/ 5 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       4 11 0
15/17*REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)      9   9  0 50.0  15/17 ROYAL FLUSH (48)          3  6 0
16/13 FAST FOOD (724)          181 183 12 49.7  16/18 DARQUE FORCES (396)       3 11 0
17/14 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)      155 160  8 49.2  17- 9*DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)     2  3 2
18/15 BASH BROS PARK (766)     127 132 10 49.0  18/19 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)     2  4 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-16 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      77  82  3 48.4  19-15 SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)   2  4 1
20/ 0 FRAYED SANITY (799)       57  62  3 47.9  20/16 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)  2  4 0
21/ 3*WARRIORS OF OLD (844)      7   8  0 46.7  21/13*DARK PATH (845)           2 12 0
22/18 WHITE WOLVES (832)        40  57  0 41.2  22/20 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     1  2 0
23/19 THE SOVEREIGN (818)       53  92  3 36.6  23/22 BASH BROS PARK (766)      0  6 0
24/20 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)     30  56  0 34.9  24/ 0 SECOND BANANAS (573)      0  3 0
25-21*STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)     6  16  1 27.3  25/ 0 LES TURFISTES (727)       0  1 0
26/22*DARK PATH (845)            4  15  0 21.1  26-23 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

              TWIXIE                    TWXI                      TWIXIE

So where do we stand on Turf War registration? Kind of slow, I would say, so let's get 
with it, laggards. Certs and pads; certs and pads. Get it?

Here is where we are:

One team completely registered. Several partially there. The status:

Mannequin's Team -- Mannequin, Oz, Crip; registration and certs done.
Skwerlmaster's Team -- ?, ?, ?; registration incomplete and certs done
Dameon Darkhart's Team -- D.D., Spirit, Var; registration incomplete, some certs in
Vlad's Team -- Vlad, Jermain; President Trump; registration incomplete, some certs in
Darque's Team -- Darque, ?, ?; registration incomplete and some certs in
Scorpio of Sovereign is asking/advertising for teammates.

Specifically, here are the certs currently received:
     Mannequin (2)
     Crip (2)
     Oz (2)
     The whole Skwerlmaster team (6)
     Spirit (2)
     Vlad (2)
     Master Darque (2)

Time is drawing nigh. Only a few turns left before TWXI begins.

Don't be left in the dark. (Or is that Darque?)

                                  -- Coordinator Oz (for Oz, Assur, and Master Darque)

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

As we all enter into the timing of the TW, I thought this reprint from the last TW 
might be of valuable and a fine and dandy read..................................... OZ

     Oz The All Inquisitor sat on his brilliant green throne in The Emerald City with 
a very worried look on his face.  In a few hours he had allowed arrangement of a 
meeting with The Scarlet Den, who had recently earned his one hundred thirty-third 
demerit as he spread dark spew, misdirection and downright naughtiness across the 
lands. The Mighty and All-Loving Oz disliked meeting with those who had been borne so 
good, yet had turned so dingy. So, yes, Oz The All-Wonderful was sad and disturbed 
about what might be the contents of the meeting--a meeting that was his duty.
     The Inquisitor decided that he would serve refreshments as is normal for his 
guest, despite the circumstances. His spies in the A. A. Camp had informed him that 
Scarlet Den's favorites were green tea and crumpets. There were those who stated that 
The Scarlet Den made his own green tea through his personal elimination process, but 
Oz The All-Giving had chosen the special green tea he had acquired on his last 
balloon-ride trip to China. The crumpets had been sent from The Queen of England, and 
while Oz The All Welcoming did not bear happiness at giving them to such an uncouth 
cretin, he hoped it might help lead Scarlet Den towards the positive.
     Oz The All-Knowing reflected on what he knew about The Scarlet Den. Rumors had it 
she came from the lands near the Cheese-Heads, and had blown into The Land Of The East 
on a violent tsunami. Scarlet's great powers of deceit and rancor had led her to the 
position of Wicked Witch Of The East where her Munchkin people, especially those in 
the lowly A. A., feared her and lived in discomfort and sorrow. It was in The East 
that S. Den became the cross-dresser that he was today, loving finery, silks and lace 
underwear from other lands. Underneath her black witch outer garments, she had become 
the finest dressed witch-man in the land. Hence he had adopted her current name -- 
Scarlet Den.
     Oz was concerned and puzzled, but he had a land to rule, and people to help, and 
needy to care for, so he went at his work up until meeting time. Hence, Oz The 
Benevolent sent some food stamps to the Bash Bros Park guild house, a couple of roll-
ups to the Fast Food guild house, two new, refreshed commodes to The Royal Flush clan, 
a fancy unicycle to the Mystic Orc Feast clan, and two hotties to the Second Bananas 
guild house.
     At 2 P.M., The Scarlet Den was ushered into Oz's meeting room, carrying her shiny 
broomstick on the shoulder (not where most might think it should be stuck) of his/her 
black witchery cloaks. Her ruby red slippers were scuffed, but, then, who would expect 
a wicked witch to take care of anything precious? He plopped down, skirt fluffing and 
lifting revealing fancy pink briefs, and said, "Hi, Ozzie; what's up, Wiz? Been doin' 
any nicey-niceys lately?"
     Oz The All Welcoming, being quite accustomed to a brash witch, smiled, and 
offered Scarlet Den refreshments. Crossdresser Den stuffed some crumpets in his mouth, 
washed it down with the tea, and asked "Got any beer?" Oz responded, "Lady Den, you 
are in the domain of The High Inquisitor and the guild of The Emerald Wizard, where 
alcohol, lies and dastardly deeds are not allowed. "
     Oz The All Powerful Wizard quickly cast his Truth spell and the Lock Spell, and 
began the inquisition. "You will respond only yes or no to these five questions and 
then you will be released from these wizardly locked confines. Understand?"
     Scarlet Den answered with a "Yes, Sir" and the five questions began. From the 
documentation, we can see that the questions and answers were as such:

     1. Are you of sound mind? Uh, uh, well, I think, "yes".
     2. Have you been unkind to your fellow men and other beings? "Yes"
     3. Are you a male? Uh, well, now, gee, uh, yes, er a, I mean no. That's it. No!"
     4. Have you misinformed others in all-hallowed data bases? "Yes"
     5. Are you sorry for your discretions? "Hell, no!"

     Oz The All Hopeful closed the Truth Spell, and although angered, felt sorry for 
the confused sort of male/female Scarlet Den, Wicked Witch Of The East. He thought, 
perhaps, if he were to do a good deed to the confused thingamajig, it might lead to 
change for the good. So he offered, "Scarlet Den, what if I were to cast the Sex-
Change spell and try to change you fully to female? You know, you would have to really 
want it to make it effective."
     "Don't you be doin' me no favors, now, Ozzie." Said Den. "I don't like the looks 
'o you and I don't need you, Buster!"
     Oz The All Helpful retorted, "You are such a stubborn gal or guy or whatever. I 
just want to help. Why, you can be such a meanie that I'll bet, if the price was 
right, you'd sell your mother as a sex slave to a band of Darkholm vandals."
     "Yeah, Ozzer, I already did.  Yessiree, Oz!  But, then, they sent the sorry old 
hag back," replied Scarlet Den. "Didn't like her much no how. But, ya know, as I sit 
here thinkin', I jest might take y'all up on that there spell. I wanna be a babe!"
     So Oz The All Caring cast the spell, hoping The Den really knew what she wanted. 
Then he led his guest out of the room to the front door saying, "It will take that 
spell about three days to work, and I wish you good luck."
     Less than a week later, as Oz The All Considerate was sitting in his office 
perusing how he could help more of the needy in Alastari, a messenger burst into the 
room. (Oz The All Available had an open door policy for all who worked with or for 
him.) "Oz; Oz; it worked! We just got word from the A. A. that Scarlet Den is no 
longer a crazy, crotchety, convoluted, confused, cross-dressing cretin! Yes! He is now 
the full-fledged female Wicked Witch Of The East. And Dorothy's house is about to drop 
any day!"

                                          -- The Consortium Chronicler

Editor's note:

"Oh dear, oh dear!" Cried Dorothy in dismay. "Who was she?" asked the girl. "She was 
the Wicked Witch of the East, as I said," answered the little old woman. "She has held 
all the Munchkins in bondage for many years, making them slave for her night and day. 
Now they are all set free, and are grateful to you for the favor."
                                   -- The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1939)

"As Coroner, I must aver I thoroughly examined her, and she's not only merely dead, 
she's really, most sincerely dead..."
                                   -- Munchkin Coroner (1939)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hey, yeah. It's me again. A five-time Duelmaster. Does that mean I am good, good, 
good, good, good? I think so. 
     So let's talk about the Arlington (D.C.) Face. After all, I was there. Let's 
start with our team that participated. Four went. Three returned. (sigh) A 10-12 
record, really 10-12-0-1.  We could have done better. We have before, you know. Not 
returning was our newbie, Hammerhead, an 11-8-18-17-9-8-13 good guy. Since he was 
incapacitated, China Princess has come to join us. She's cute, but cute is not always 
a virtue in the arena. We shall see.
     I talked to all the team, including the done-for Hammerhead, and these were some 
of our main impressions of the FTF and FTF location:

   1. Smoothly run. A few minor issues quickly resolved. Slick, Oz says.
   2. Lots to do nearby. Just take the Metro.
   3. Room was plentiful for the appx 30 there. The noon food freebie was NICE!
   4. Lots of decent eating spots within a couple of blocks.
   5. Three seldom FTF attending old-time managers showed up.
   6. We all visited the Arlington National Cemetery. Saw the change of the guard. 
      Beautiful, sad, and moving, it was.
   7. Motel was decent. A little weak on the food services, but it passed the muster.

     We would all definitely go back. Hard to beat New Orleans, but a top Face and 
location.
     And I will leave you with this. You could challenge and fight me, but, really, 
don't bother. Let's be friends.

                                          -- Munchkin DMV

                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome NORTH FORK.  I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights 
have I fought here.  The celebrations, the disappointments...  Hmmmph!  I always 
thought THE SOVEREIGN was an over-rated team and they proved it with a 0-5-0!  Ya 
gotta be quick on yer feet!  Keep your elbow off the table!  Thrust!  Block out the 
pain!  REIGNNCATSNDOGS is now ranked 5th with a 3-2-0 turn.  Some people say I ramble 
too much, I don't say anything relevant.  I repeat myself.  I ramble.  Well BIG LAKE 
GROOVE moved up 1, to 4th.  What's with VESPASIAN?  He actually beat FAST FOOD's 
POUTINE, and walked away with 22 more points from the fight.  Major screwup at LAND 
OF OZ.  KANSAS lost 18 points to ACE MERRILL.  Some new strategies, perhaps?  Maybe 
KANSAS will provide more easy wins...  WEIRD ALCHEMY's hatred of LAND OF OZ surfaced 
again as GRANULO challenged NORTH FORK's top dog.  GRANULO was reminded on the sands 
why MUNCHKIN is Duelmaster.  Wouldn't it be nice to have live subjects to practice 
on?  I hear some team is looking into the uses of convicted prisoners.   
     If at first you don't succeed, avoid.  That'll get you in the Spyreports.  NORTH 
FORK thinks DARK PATH and their 4-15-0 is too much!  If at first you don't succeed, 
give up...  The bums at MEMPHIS MAFIA couldn't face the challenges from DARK PATH!  
No excuse for that!  What do people see in PARADIGM?  Its 6-11-0?  THE SOVEREIGN 
ain't talkin', but it's got 29 points.  Taunt your opponent MR. CROWLEY!  That was my 
lucky charm when I was unfairly challenged.  (and by 30 points!)  LITTLE VARIOUS 
should have an easy win.  LITTLE VARIOUS beat MR. CROWLEY.  BIG LAKE GROOVE calls 
this fighting?  In my day...  I hate going to the effort of writing about the kind of 
fights that MARY SLACKER gets in.  She fights people like SHEIK TZU, 9 points below.  
I thought MARY SLACKER showed great skill and promise when she overcame SHEIK TZU.  
All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  Is it my imagination, or are fighters getting 
younger every day?  To die so young, so gloriously!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  The end 
of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Remember--a good 
fighter needs both good skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUNCHKIN 8432                25  14  0   133       LAND OF OZ (217)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRUIT CUP 9024               12  17  4   113       FAST FOOD (724)
 GHOST PEPPER 8722            16   1  0   106       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 STYLE CHANGER 9162           13  11  2   103       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 GRANULO 8496                 21  15  0   101       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 BROCK TULGREN 8528           18   6  0    97       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 VESPASIAN 4932               11   8  0    92       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKYWARP 8063                 17  14  1    90       DARQUE FORCES (396)
-MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146         12   8  0    90       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 BEAST MODE 9489              10   3  0    87       YUPPIE HORDE (848)
 SLUSH PUPPY 9023             20   9  0    82       FAST FOOD (724)
 WHIPPED CREAM 8768           16  16  1    82       FAST FOOD (724)
 POUTINE 8769                 16  16  1    81       FAST FOOD (724)
-VIKING VAMPIRE 8992          14   8  0    78       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
-HARRY SLAUGHTER 8493          9   5  1    78       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
-HENCHMAN 8756                 8   3  0    76       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
-LATE OR EARLY 8183           12   7  0    75       LES TURFISTES (727)
 P-NUT FIREBEARD 8874         13  15  0    74       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 KLEGG HAII 9204              13   7  0    72       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
-BOJ 8858                      8   5  1    71       SPROUT OF MY MIND (816)
 HEADLESS NICK 8776            8   6  1    68       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
-AMIINANY DANGER 8491         11   7  1    67       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SRIRACHA 9042                 9   8  1    66       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 ACE MERRILL 9319              7   4  0    66       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 BLACK CHAOS 8872             13  17  0    65       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 CHALUPA BATMAN 9043           9   8  1    64       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
-PROBUS 4910                   6   4  0    62       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
-CRYING KID 8392               6   5  0    61       BASH BROS PARK (766)
-AGENT 99 8694                 8   2  1    60       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 EN FEUGO 9072                 8   3  1    59       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
 MADCAP 9306                   8   8  2    58       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BARNEY STINSON 8307           9   9  1    56       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 RETURN OF THE KING 9124       9   8  0    56       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 LACKEY 8760                   6   6  0    54       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LICINIUS 4912                 5   4  0    54       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 GALLIENUS 4956                7   9  1    53       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 BRAINS 9296                   9   5  0    52       LAND OF OZ (217)
 ARMENIUS 9159                10  10  0    50       WHITE WOLVES (832)
-LE GRELE 8252                 9   8  1    50       LES TURFISTES (727)
 SEABLOOM 8527                 9  15  0    50       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 LORD OF BARKNESS 9423         4   0  0    49       REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
 THE PLAINSMAN 8873            9  20  0    48       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 MARATHON MAN 9313            12   3  0    46       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 KANSAS 9062                   9   9  0    46       LAND OF OZ (217)
 BELISARIUS 9302               7   7  0    46       WHITE WOLVES (832)
 ALIISZA 8871                  8  19  1    44       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 QUEEN LATIFAH 9038            9  14  0    41       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-OCTOGAB 8382                  8   3  0    40       LES TURFISTES (727)
 MUY CALIENTE 9212             3   3  0    38       EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
-AUGUSTUS 4909                 3   6  0    37       WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
 DIONEXUS 9157                 6  14  0    36       WHITE WOLVES (832)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITTLE VARIOUS 9341           7   5  0    33       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 BRUTUS 9380                   4   2  0    33       WHITE WOLVES (832)
-LEAF 9384                     4   0  2    32       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 TIGER BLOOD 9485              6   5  1    30       YUPPIE HORDE (848)
 PARADIGM 9018                 6  11  0    29       THE SOVEREIGN (818)
 JUDY SPRECKLES 9438           3   1  0    27       MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
 5 TURNS BLOODY 9419           1   2  1    27       A BOOR RENTS (842)
 KING MUTT 9421                2   1  0    26       REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
-LEGIONNAIRE LICH 9009         4   4  0    24       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 MOOSEKNUCKLE 9303             3   1  0    24       FRAYED SANITY (799)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIMMY KINGSLEY 9440           4   0  0    22       MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
 WHEELDEBEAST 9444             3   0  0    22       WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
 KING CHARLES 9451             3   0  0    22       REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
 SLUG 9428                     3   0  0    22       WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
-SIMON MAGUS 9432              2   1  0    22       DARK PATH (845)
 TENTENABULATION 9381          3   2  0    21       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-3=4 9105                      2   2  0    21       LES TURFISTES (727)
 QUADLING 9445                 1   0  0    21       LAND OF OZ (217)
-BASHITE 9403                  3   0  1    20       STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
-FEATHER 9386                  1   3  1    18       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
-BA-SHEA 9092                  1   3  0    18       STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
 WACKO JACKKO 9415             3   1  0    17       A BOOR RENTS (842)
 JACK E. KENNEDY 9406          2   1  0    17       ROYAL FLUSH (48)
 THE CHAMPION 9401             1   0  1    17       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
-ADDICTION 9387                3   1  0    16       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 ENVY OF NORTH FORK 9468       1   1  0    15       BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
 MARY SLACKER 9439             3   1  0    14       MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
 CHINA PRINCESS 9476           1   0  0    13       LAND OF OZ (217)
 KYLO REN 9482                 1   0  0    12       YUPPIE HORDE (848)
 DUCHESSE V 9417               3   1  0    11       A BOOR RENTS (842)
 OSCAR MAIER 9365              1   0  0    11       FRAYED SANITY (799)
-HAMMERHEAD 9383               1   3  0    10       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
-WHIRLPOOL 9385                1   3  0    10       DOWNWARD SPIRAL (840)
 ALRIC 9429                    2   1  0     9       WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
-BASH'IT 9446                  2   0  0     9       STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
 TELLIUS 9373                  1   6  0     9       WHITE WOLVES (832)
 INDOMINUS REX 9483            1   0  0     9       YUPPIE HORDE (848)
 RADINSMELL 9404               1   0  0     9       FRAYED SANITY (799)
 MIKE BEATON 9437              2   2  0     8       MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
-STOOGE 9259                   2   2  0     8       SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
 MARIE LAVEAU 9436             2   2  0     8       DARK PATH (845)
 RAGING RODHAM 9416            1   3  0     8       A BOOR RENTS (842)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HELLHOUND HESTATI 9211        1   1  0     8       SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
 LINDA THOMPSON 9441           1   3  0     6       MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
 GAUSS 9427                    1   2  0     5       WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
 KOHR 9430                     1   2  0     5       WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
 BURNING MAN 9481              1   0  0     5       YUPPIE HORDE (848)
 MR. CROWLEY 9465              0   2  0     5       DARK PATH (845)
-BASHIM 9074                   0   5  0     5       STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
 GOB BLUTH 9478                0   1  0     4       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 PROSPERO 9433                 0   4  0     4       DARK PATH (845)
 SHEIK TZU 9452                0   3  0     3       REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
 SAER 9426                     0   3  0     3       WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
-BASH 9073                     0   2  0     2       STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
 SEVERUS NAPE 9524             0   1  0     1       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 GRADY 9479                    0   1  0     1       SECOND BANANAS (573)
 MAD-DIE MOODY 9523            0   1  0     1       DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
 PHARAOH HOUND 9492            0   1  0     1       REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
CLOSED 9457             0  1 0 BASH BROS PARK 766   SPIRIT                395  NONE
CONTAMINATED 9525       0  1 0 BASH BROS PARK 766   VAR'S NEOPHYTE        395  NONE
THE NORTH FORKIA 9431   0  2 0 BIG LAKE GROOVE 792  LEAF 9384             393   
GLINDA 9434             0  4 0 DARK PATH 845        AA DESERTER           395  NONE
TIM 9435                0  2 0 DARK PATH 845        FEATHER 9386          393   
DEAD 3 9474             0  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396    AA DESERTER           395  NONE
DEAD 4 9475             0  1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396    VAR'S NEOPHYTE        395  NONE
RAZORCLAW 9363          2  2 0 DARQUE FORCES 396    AVATAR OF DARKHE      395  NONE
SLUDGE 8470             9  5 1 DARQUE FORCES 396    HEADLESS NICK 8776    393   
TEFAL MINATOR 8383      6  5 0 LES TURFISTES 727    SPIRIT                395  NONE
PRINCE OF PURRRS 9424   0  2 0 REIGNNCATSNDOGS 843  BASHITE 9403          394   
BARNEY RUBBLE 9228      0  1 0 SECOND BANANAS 573   AA DESERTER           395  NONE
DAS 9442                2  2 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 480    THE CHAMPION 9401     395   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Well, my, my, my Fruit cup! You are getting tastier with age. (wink) -- Munchkin

Hey, Brutus, you challenged ME? Well, thanks, Bud. That was pleasant. -- Brains

Slush Puppy, you are simply too much for me. Uncle! I vote for you to become a Lord 
Protector. Pronto. -- Kansas

Hey, congrats to our own Munchkin. Again. -- Oz The All Appreciative

Health. Humility. Honor. -- Ox The All  Philosophical

Solomon -- I play to crush. -- Feather

Hi All -- I will be joining the TW with my team mates Howlin' Wolf and The Dark One.  
Alliance name yet to be determined.  The ladies have been contacted concerning the 
certs and you should be getting them soon.  Thanks. -- Floyd, mgr of "EL CAMINO:HOT 
SAUCE" 

Judy Spreckles -- You just can't get enough of me, can you? -- Dionexus

Brains -- That is the last time I listen to Armenius! -- Brutus

Alric -- Well fought!  I will watch your career with interest. -- Tellius

Royal Flush -- Did you lose any teeth? -- Belisarius

Lackey -- Thank you for the skills lesson and my new scars! -- Armenius

Little Various -- Cher, everyone has to lose sometime, but I sure ain't had the envie 
for it right now. May them gods shine on you until we meet again. When that day comes, 
I put that gris gris on ya. -- Marie Laveau

All -- I am declaring for the upcoming Turf War with the alliance Inner Circle. My 
team is Spirit's Realm. May you all suffer under our blades. -- Spirit

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TEFAL MINATOR was butchered by SPIRIT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
RAZORCLAW was butchered by AVATAR OF DARKHEART in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
GLINDA was easily killed by AA DESERTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
BARNEY RUBBLE was assassinated by AA DESERTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
CLOSED was butchered by SPIRIT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DEAD 3 was assassinated by AA DESERTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
DEAD 4 was butchered by VAR'S NEOPHYTE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
CONTAMINATED was assassinated by VAR'S NEOPHYTE in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
GRANULO was beaten by MUNCHKIN in a popular 4 minute master's Challenge Title brawl.
MADCAP was handily defeated by WHIPPED CREAM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
ARMENIUS won victory over QUEEN LATIFAH in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
DIONEXUS was vanquished by RETURN OF THE KING in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
JUDY SPRECKLES was handily defeated by LORD OF BARKNESS in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
LITTLE VARIOUS subdued MR. CROWLEY in a 6 minute master vs. amateur Challenge match.
BRUTUS demolished PARADIGM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
ENVY OF NORTH FORK overpowered TELLIUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
MARY SLACKER luckily beat SHEIK TZU in a 4 minute novice's Challenge duel.
POUTINE was viciously subdued by VESPASIAN in a crowd pleasing 2 minute master's bout.
FRUIT CUP overpowered BEAST MODE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GHOST PEPPER outlasted SLUSH PUPPY in a tiring 30 minute veteran's bout.
STYLE CHANGER handily defeated KLEGG HAII in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
BLACK CHAOS was overpowered by SKYWARP in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
P-NUT FIREBEARD was overpowered by BROCK TULGREN in a 5 minute uneven fray.
HEADLESS NICK slimly won victory over GALLIENUS in a 3 minute veteran's contest.
LACKEY was luckily beaten by CHALUPA BATMAN in a 2 minute gory fight.
BELISARIUS was vanquished by SRIRACHA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
KANSAS was vanquished by ACE MERRILL in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
EN FEUGO savagely defeated THE PLAINSMAN in a exciting 1 minute gruesome melee.
ALIISZA was viciously subdued by SEABLOOM in a 2 minute brutal expert's bout.
MUY CALIENTE was overcome by MARATHON MAN in a exciting 4 minute duel.
BRAINS overpowered 5 TURNS BLOODY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MOOSEKNUCKLE slimly won victory over RAGING RODHAM in a 4 minute fight.
JACK E. KENNEDY was beaten by WACKO JACKKO in a 4 minute match.
TIGER BLOOD defeated STREET LEGAL in a popular 1 minute veteran vs. novice fight.
TENTENABULATION overcame ALRIC in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
SAER was viciously subdued by RADINSMELL in a 9 minute brutal amateur's fight.
GAUSS was subdued by OSCAR MAIER in a 2 minute novice's struggle.
SLUG unbelievably bested GOB BLUTH in a exciting 4 minute bloody novice's fight.
KOHR was subdued by KYLO REN in a 2 minute novice's duel.
PROSPERO was beaten by JIMMY KINGSLEY in a 5 minute novice's duel.
DUCHESSE V viciously subdued MAD-DIE MOODY in a 6 minute gruesome amateur's match.
MARIE LAVEAU was overpowered by KING MUTT in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MIKE BEATON was vanquished by QUADLING in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
LINDA THOMPSON was subdued by KING CHARLES in a 1 minute beginner's conflict.
DAS was easily killed by THE CHAMPION in a 1 minute brutal mismatched fight.
WHEELDEBEAST overcame GRADY in a exciting 1 minute amateur's melee.
INDOMINUS REX beat PHARAOH HOUND in a 2 minute novice's fight.
BURNING MAN luckily beat SEVERUS NAPE in a popular 5 minute gruesome novice's duel.
CHINA PRINCESS overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute uneven competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         WALL OF STEEL     39 -  31 -  2      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         TOTAL PARRY       47 -  39 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         LUNGING ATTACK    59 -  54 -  5      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  11 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         AIMED BLOW        21 -  24 -  0      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         STRIKING ATTACK   36 -  43 -  4      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         BASHING ATTACK    32 -  43 -  4      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   5 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   33 -  63 -  5      34  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  11 -  0       8  |

Turn 395 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  8         5  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        7 -  8         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      7 -  4     AIMED BLOW         3 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  8         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              BASHING ATTACK     3 -  6         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  7     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MUNCHKIN 8432              25  14  0  133 LAND OF OZ (217)
STRIKING ATTACK  STYLE CHANGER 9162         13  11  2  103 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
BASHING ATTACK   GRANULO 8496               21  15  0  101 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
LUNGING ATTACK   VESPASIAN 4932             11   8  0   92 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
SLASHING ATTACK  SKYWARP 8063               17  14  1   90 DARQUE FORCES (396)
WALL OF STEEL    HEADLESS NICK 8776          8   6  1   68 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    CHALUPA BATMAN 9043         9   8  1   64 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
AIMED BLOW       RETURN OF THE KING 9124     9   8  0   56 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FRUIT CUP 9024.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SEVERUS NAPE 9524.  The ten other most popular fighters were GRANULO 8496, MUY 
CALIENTE 9212, GOB BLUTH 9478, SHEIK TZU 9452, VESPASIAN 4932, RETURN OF THE KING 
9124, GALLIENUS 4956, SEABLOOM 8527, WACKO JACKKO 9415, and KOHR 9430.

The least popular fighter this week was SLUSH PUPPY 9023.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were GHOST PEPPER 8722, DUCHESSE V 9417, P-NUT FIREBEARD 8874, 
PROSPERO 9433, JACK E. KENNEDY 9406, PHARAOH HOUND 9492, DAS 9442, LINDA THOMPSON 
9441, MIKE BEATON 9437, and MARIE LAVEAU 9436.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

CYCLONUS (47-8365) DARQUE FORCES (396)

                          Name Change-o-Rama -- Final Update

     Algernon looked at the goats and sighed.  No doubt it was a Good Deed to give 
goats to people who wanted them.  But why did the goats have to be gathered in HIS 
office?  Four of them, and they were a lot like gladiators:  not smelly maybe, they 
were clean goats, but pushy and sure they were the most important thing around.  Maybe 
they should be enrolled in the arena?  No, there were only four, not enough for a 
team.
     He shook his head to clear it of the image of armored goats with sharpened horns.  
One thing at a time.  He pulled a piece of paper out of his desk drawer, dipped his 
pen in the ink, and began to write.

     "It is our pleasure and honor to note that ninety-eight gladiators and teams have 
elected to change their names, supporting the contribution of goats to deserving 
people.  With the Commission's matching funds, this has purchased four goats--a good 
goat can't be purchased for a copper, you know.  The goats are already en route to 
their new homes, where they will be--"  He paused and thought about it.  "--very 
welcome.  We wish all the best to the goats and the new goat-owners."