DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 09/04/2018 Duedate: 10/01/2018
NORTH FORK ARENA
DM-47 TURN-396
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
MUNCHKIN
LAND OF OZ (217)
(47-8432) [26-14-0,139]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
MUNCHKIN LORD OF BARKNESS
LAND OF OZ (217) REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
(47-8432) [26-14-0,139] (47-9423) [5-0-0,58]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
FRUIT CUP FRUIT CUP
FAST FOOD (724) FAST FOOD (724)
(47-9024) [12-18-4,101] (47-9024) [12-18-4,101]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
LAND OF OZ (217)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. BOOK OF THOMAS (801) 35
2. A BOOR RENTS (842) 33EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
3. LAND OF OZ (217) 29 Unchartered Team
4. STAR PRAIRIE (821) 28
5. SECOND BANANAS (573) 27 MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808) 107 54 6 66.5 1/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217) 10 3 0
2/ 4 YUPPIE HORDE (848) 29 17 1 63.0 2/ 4 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792) 10 4 2
3/ 3 LAND OF OZ (217) 873 553 30 61.2 3/12 YUPPIE HORDE (848) 8 2 0
4- 5 LES TURFISTES (727) 138 90 6 60.5 4/ 8 FRAYED SANITY (799) 8 2 0
5/ 6 SECOND BANANAS (573) 330 231 35 58.8 5/ 5*REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843) 8 7 0
6/ 0 SHEWISH DINER (806) 126 89 12 58.6 6/10 FAST FOOD (724) 7 6 0
7/ 0 WEIRD STUDENTS (805) 30 22 1 57.7 7/ 7*A BOOR RENTS (842) 7 7 2
8/ 2*MEMPHIS MAFIA (846) 14 11 0 56.0 8/ 1*MEMPHIS MAFIA (846) 7 8 0
9/ 7 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792) 113 89 12 55.9 9/11 WHITE WOLVES (832) 7 8 0
10/ 0 STAR PRAIRIE (821) 58 46 5 55.8 10/13 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUC (808) 6 4 0
11/ 8 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 955 765 49 55.5 11/ 2 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480) 6 7 0
12/11*A BOOR RENTS (842) 12 10 2 54.5 12- 6*WARRIORS OF OLD (844) 5 5 0
13- 9 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795) 45 38 5 54.2 13/15 ROYAL FLUSH (48) 5 7 0
14/12 DARQUE FORCES (396) 338 311 25 52.1 14/14 THE SOVEREIGN (818) 5 10 2
15/13 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541) 34 33 1 50.7 15- 9*STEVEN'S BASHERS (827) 3 2 1
16/16 FAST FOOD (724) 184 185 12 49.9 16/ 0 STAR PRAIRIE (821) 3 2 0
17/17 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480) 156 162 8 49.1 17/20 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541) 3 3 0
18/19 SPECTRAL STEEL (778) 78 82 3 48.8 18/16 DARQUE FORCES (396) 3 10 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19/18 BASH BROS PARK (766) 127 134 10 48.7 19/ 0*BOOK OF THOMAS (801) 2 1 0
20/ 0 WICKED MARTYRS (815) 35 37 2 48.6 20/ 0 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786) 2 2 0
21/20 FRAYED SANITY (799) 60 64 3 48.4 21/ 0 SPIRIT'S REALM (850) 2 3 0
22/15*REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843) 11 12 0 47.8 22/24 SECOND BANANAS (573) 2 4 1
23-21*WARRIORS OF OLD (844) 7 8 0 46.7 23/26 SPECTRAL STEEL (778) 1 1 0
24/ 0 SPIRIT'S REALM (850) 14 17 3 45.2 24-18 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795) 1 2 0
25/22 WHITE WOLVES (832) 44 58 0 43.1 25/22 SATAN'S MINIONS (813) 1 2 0
26/ 0 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786) 68 93 6 42.2 26/ 0 WEIRD STUDENTS (805) 1 4 0
27/23 THE SOVEREIGN (818) 56 94 5 37.3 27/ 0*DARK PATH (845) 1 13 0
28/24 SATAN'S MINIONS (813) 30 57 0 34.5 28/23 BASH BROS PARK (766) 0 5 0
29-25*STEVEN'S BASHERS (827) 6 16 1 27.3 29/ 0 SHEWISH DINER (806) 0 1 0
30/ 0*BOOK OF THOMAS (801) 5 17 0 22.7 30-25 LES TURFISTES (727) 0 1 0
31/ 0*DARK PATH (845) 4 20 0 16.7 31/ 0 WICKED MARTYRS (815) 0 1 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
TWIXIE TWXI TWIXIE
So where do we stand on Turf War registration? Kind of slow, I would say, so let's get
with it, laggards. Certs and pads; certs and pads. Get it?
Here is where we are as of 8-17-18:
One team completely registered. Several partially there. The status:
Mannequin's Team -- Mannequin, Oz, Crip; registration and certs done.
Skwerlmaster's Team -- ?, ?, ?; registration incomplete and certs done
Dameon Darkhart's Team -- D.D., Spirit, Var; registration incomplete, some certs
in
Vlad's Team -- Vlad, Jermain; President Trump; registration incomplete, some
certs in
Darque's Team -- Darque, ?, ?; registration incomplete and some certs in
Floyd's Team -- Floyd, tDO, Howlin Wolf; registration incomplete, and certs done
Scorpio of Sovereign is asking/advertising for teammates.
Specifically, here are the certs currently received:
Mannequin (2)
Crip (2)
Oz (2)
The whole Skwerlmaster team (6)
Spirit (2)
Vlad (2)
Master Darque (2)
Spirit (2)
Les Turfistes (2)
La Guillotine (2)
Floyd (2)
tDO (2)
Howlin Wolf (2)
Deathly Hallows (2)
Fast Food (2)
Weird Students (2)
October is drawing very close; let's do this!
-- Coordinator Oz
(for Oz, Assur, and Master Darque)
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Den walked from the Great Hall at Greywand's Gift, where the mighty Allied Axis held
council. The Great Hall is where a lot of thinking is done, and thus, problems are
solved. There were perhaps no greater problem solvers in all Alastari than the Allied
Axis, an alliance based upon problem solving. Rarely does the alliance seek guidance
or help from outside their walls, but this time Den was convinced they needed to
consult options. Den hated leaving his beloved Niytyole Island and rarely did. Even
though his teams brought hate and anger throughout the land he didn't have to handle
the management directly, often relying on the AA's Chief of Intelligence Bandor the
Pure to watch what was happening in the arenas. It was Bandor that brought the
concerning information that Den looked to solve.
Den walked the well-worn path from Greywand's Gift to the wharf where the AA's ship
would take him to his destination. He much enjoyed the early morning walks in the
crisp fall air of Niytyole Island. The chill reminded him of adventures long past.
His mind drifted to battles long ago fought and those that stood with him and against
him. Many were found on either side, and many were long gone, yet Den and the mighty
Allied Axis still stood as the beacon of hope the land needed at the time it was
needed. As Den rounded the corner he saw farmer Jenkins pulling his buckskin jacket
on and hurrying into his sheep pasture.
"Ahoy Farmer Jenkins, what brings you into the pastures so early today?" Den shouted
out.
As Jenkins headed deeper into his pasture he shouted his answer over his shoulder,
"The sheep are spooked, and I'll bet Mildred's fair-winning turnips that it is Stik in
the damn pen again. I'm not sure why you took pity on him and financed his team here
for a year, I've had to chase him out almost daily."
Den just shook his head and focused on his journey instead. He should reach his
destination by nightfall and with an early meeting could be back in Niytyole before
the sun sets tomorrow, which was just fine by him. Deeders was spending the night at
Greywand's Gift as an invited guest on tomorrow's eve. With their recent teaming for
the Turf War in North Fork they figured they should at least spend a few hours
strategizing, not that much was needed.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The Great Wizard Shmu welcomed Den into his home as always. Their paths often crossed
and Shmu relished his days as the Chief Wizard of the Allied Axis. But as is often
the case with those in the Allied Axis, he was stripped of title and sent out to live
amongst the people by the Chief Justice Bill.
"What brings you to my side of the pond, Den?" Shmu asked.
"Well Shmu, I am hoping you can solve a little problem for me. Do you still have the
ability to make people go away, and by go away I think you know what I mean?" Den
answered.
"Interesting. So what peasant girl did you get pregnant this time?" Shmu asked
jokingly, but maybe a little serious. Few would talk to Den like this, but Shmu and
Den shared a long history and the banter was easy and comfortable.
"Cute Shmu, very cute. You know the responsibility to bring culture to the masses is
a heavy weight upon my shoulders and interbreeding with the common folk is a quick way
to elevate their position. But, let's not be bothered with tactics needed to help the
simple people. I am sure you have heard of the deranged buffoon known as the
Consortium. Well, I think it is time someone finally puts the maniac out of his
misery. He loses a step every day and I think his mind is finally so demented he will
not be able to function within a healthy society any longer."
"Interesting," Shmu said as he tossed a glowing orb between his hands. "This is the
same rat-faced loser that ran up to you at the Face-to-Face and grabbed you and then
screamed an obscenity to the entire crowd isn't it? This is the same hypocrite self-
righteous simpleton that somehow thinks he is the gift to the rest of the land and is
constantly seeking approval and kudos by submitting extremely lame and
incomprehensible missives in the personal ads against you, correct? Well, what do you
think we should do?
"Yeah, his reputation precedes him. It is almost comical how he acts like the purest
form of man while somehow forgetting his unprecedented deed at the Face-to-Face.
Never has anyone sunk so low as him. How pathetic he was to run through the crowd and
shout what he thought was his shining moment and then quickly scamper off like the
little pathetic rat he is. No doubt he expected all others to hoist him upon their
shoulders and parade him around the room, only to find the norm, which was everyone
avoiding eye contact just like they always have. I never thought much of it, but he
still constantly reaches out in the PA's yet, and then he started trying to sneak
peeks through our windows. Bandor would catch the sneaky little rat and give him a
few thumps and send him on his way. Then he started showing up at the door to
Greywand's Gift trying to gain access. As his mind continues to falter he goes
farther. Now, he is fantasizing about me being a woman. He writes often about his
fantasies of getting me to come to his place for a "meeting" while I'm wearing a
dress. It was comical chasing him away from Greywand's Gift and it was good work for
Bandor until even he tired of it and employed Niytyole's Constable into keeping him
off Allied Axis property, but now we think that his inability to watch us through the
windows has perhaps pushed his feeble mind into a deeper frenzy. It is a little weird
for the tottering old fool to start fantasizing about other men in dresses, but I
guess he is not getting what he needs at home. You would think he would have just a
smidgen of sanity left to realize how sad and pathetic he is, but he continues his
folly. You would think he would just get Stik to dress up for him and satisfy his
needs, but I guess with Stik spending so much time in Jenkin's pastures he cannot even
get that guy to help him out. Maybe it is time for someone to put him to rest, what
do you think Shmu, want to play wizard again and make an old fool disappear?"
Shmu tossed the orb back and forth and thought deeply...
DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.
I said a lot last time, so I will take it easy on y'all in my FIFTH Duelmaster Column.
Yup, fifth. Did you hear that -- FIVE!
I will give you three pieces of advice, so pay attention.
1. Do not bet on the Eagles to win back-to-back NFL Super Bowls. Don't even bet
on them getting back to the Super Bowl.
2. Don't believe in Alabama either. A bet on their NCAA repeat will be lost
money.
3. Don't bet on a Democratic Congress next year. But don't bet against it either.
Why waste your money.
Indeed, just contribute that gambling money to me. I am a fine, fine investment.
-- Munchkin DMV
SPY REPORT
I was going on vacation, see? Surf, sun... But what do those bums say? "Hit
the road, Debby Tonte. NORTH FORK needs a spyreport." Oh, well. Like, MEMPHIS
MAFIA had to be so embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by LAND OF OZ! Way
to go LAND OF OZ! Uncool, WEIRD ALCHEMY. I mean 1-3-0 is bad. Will they will be
allowed to fight? I say use 'em for training practice! The guys at YUPPIE HORDE
like really pulled together to get a 4-1-0 this turn, moving up by 9. Cut this out
and put it in your scrapbooks, LAND OF OZ! 'Cause they got 4-1-0 and moved up to
1st! MVP award for RAGING RODHAM? A BOOR RENTS' proud of her after beating
WHEELDEBEAST and getting 23 points. Talk about yer big time losers! P-NUT FIREBEARD
got smashed by MADCAP, and lost 18 points! Oh, wow, like the Duelmaster must be the
most popular guy in all NORTH FORK. He got the most challenges. (But what about
proposals?) The Duelmaster isn't going to stop just cause he's Number One! FRUIT CUP
knows this. He was challenged by the Duelmaster. This Duelmaster is like something
else! MUNCHKIN stopped FRUIT CUP dead in his tracks! Is the Duelmaster really being
a real snob to his teammates? Don't ask me!
I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies. Really, I just
wing this stuff. The warriors of MEMPHIS MAFIA must be getting lonely. They were
the most avoided team. Do you guys know something that I don't? Is there some deep
dark secret why WHITE WOLVES' been avoiding MEMPHIS MAFIA so much? Or is it just
that they're too scared? LITTLE VARIOUS is being unfair. He's challenged down 32
against PHARAOH HOUND. I don't know why they let this stuff go on. (I'd better shut
up) I was sorry to see such an unfair "fight" in NORTH FORK. LITTLE VARIOUS got 2
points after beating PHARAOH HOUND, 32 points below him. People were asking me did
MARIE LAVEAU REALLY challenge KING MUTT? (all right, maybe they didn't, but it
sounded good!) It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but KING MUTT wants me to
write about it since he bested MARIE LAVEAU. Satisfied? MARATHON MAN must not be a
good enough fighter to get in fair fights. He challenged MUY CALIENTE. 8 is a big
difference. (Well, that's what they tell me.) I thought MARATHON MAN showed great
skill and promise when he was defeated by MUY CALIENTE. All right, so I slept
through it! Big deal!
Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other! Don't you guys ever give
it a break? Everyone has problems, but why did A BOOR RENTS send DUCHESSE V to the
Dark Arena? She had a 3-1-0, and I thought she looked neat on the sands... I was SO
depressed when I heard JIMMY KINGSLEY got killed. He was just a kid, and didn't get
a fair chance in NORTH FORK, or anything! What a bummer! BELISARIUS got wasted by
ALIISZA! But with a 7-8-0, I guess WHITE WOLVES aren't too bummed. What a bummer
deal for WHEELDEBEAST! It just barely was getting its "fighter feet" but got kill by
RAGING RODHAM of A BOOR RENTS! Those're the breaks, I guess. That was so totally
rude when LITTLE VARIOUS wasted PHARAOH HOUND. I think all you warriors in NORTH
FORK should gang up on BIG LAKE GROOVE! Enough already! All I've heard lately is
"Will DARQUE FORCES Bloodfeud HEADLESS NICK of DEATHLY HALLOWS to revenge SLUDGE's
death?" I mean, who cares? Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like
to hear from you? Write! (Or have someone write for you.)
Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain. Soak it in cold water, and hand
wash. I gotta leave. NORTH FORK is like such a dump, and you guys smell too much!
Remember you guys, ease up sometimes! Chill out! Later, Debby Tonte
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MUNCHKIN 8432 26 14 0 139 LAND OF OZ (217)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
STYLE CHANGER 9162 14 11 2 113 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
BROCK TULGREN 8528 19 6 0 107 FRAYED SANITY (799)
NIMBLE FOX 8135 18 14 2 103 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
SLUSH PUPPY 9023 21 9 0 101 FAST FOOD (724)
FRUIT CUP 9024 12 18 4 101 FAST FOOD (724)
GRANULO 8496 21 16 0 99 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
HAWKINS 8949 12 7 0 91 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-SKYWARP 8063 17 14 1 90 DARQUE FORCES (396)
-MUMMY MUSKETEER 8146 12 8 0 90 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
BEAST MODE 9489 11 3 0 90 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
POUTINE 8769 17 16 1 88 FAST FOOD (724)
GHOST PEPPER 8722 16 2 0 86 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
WHIPPED CREAM 8768 17 16 1 85 FAST FOOD (724)
VESPASIAN 4932 11 9 0 81 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
VARS FOLLEY 9025 11 5 3 80 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
KIND KOHL 8616 8 3 0 79 WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
-VIKING VAMPIRE 8992 14 8 0 78 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
-HARRY SLAUGHTER 8493 9 5 1 78 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
MADCAP 9306 9 8 2 77 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
-HENCHMAN 8756 8 3 0 76 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
-LATE OR EARLY 8183 12 7 0 75 LES TURFISTES (727)
KLEGG HAII 9204 13 8 0 71 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
SRIRACHA 9042 10 8 1 71 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
VALAC 8819 8 6 0 71 WICKED MARTYRS (815)
-HEADLESS NICK 8776 8 6 1 68 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
-AMIINANY DANGER 8491 11 7 1 67 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
GALLIENUS 4956 8 9 1 66 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
RETURN OF THE KING 9124 10 8 0 65 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-HOBO CASSEROLE 8622 9 11 1 63 SHEWISH DINER (806)
ALIISZA 8871 9 19 2 62 THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-PROBUS 4910 6 4 0 62 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
BLACK CHAOS 8872 13 18 0 61 THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-CRYING KID 8392 6 5 0 61 BASH BROS PARK (766)
-AGENT 99 8694 8 2 1 60 SECOND BANANAS (573)
EN FEUGO 9072 8 4 1 60 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
ACE MERRILL 9319 7 5 0 59 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
DRINKING DRUNK 8617 6 5 0 59 WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
LORD OF BARKNESS 9423 5 0 0 58 REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
ARMENIUS 9159 11 10 0 57 WHITE WOLVES (832)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
P-NUT FIREBEARD 8874 13 16 0 56 THE SOVEREIGN (818)
KANSAS 9062 10 9 0 56 LAND OF OZ (217)
-BARNEY STINSON 8307 9 9 1 56 SECOND BANANAS (573)
MUY CALIENTE 9212 4 3 0 55 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
-LICINIUS 4912 5 4 0 54 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
CHALUPA BATMAN 9043 9 9 1 53 EL CAMINO:HOT SAUCE (808)
SEABLOOM 8527 9 16 0 51 FRAYED SANITY (799)
THE PLAINSMAN 8873 10 20 0 50 THE SOVEREIGN (818)
-LE GRELE 8252 9 8 1 50 LES TURFISTES (727)
DIONEXUS 9157 7 14 0 49 WHITE WOLVES (832)
LACKEY 8760 6 7 0 48 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
BRAINS 9296 9 6 0 47 LAND OF OZ (217)
-CORSON 8821 5 5 1 46 WICKED MARTYRS (815)
QUEEN LATIFAH 9038 9 15 0 42 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-RUMP ROAST 9066 8 5 2 41 SHEWISH DINER (806)
PARADIGM 9018 7 11 1 41 THE SOVEREIGN (818)
MARATHON MAN 9313 12 4 0 40 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
-OCTOGAB 8382 8 3 0 40 LES TURFISTES (727)
-DESPERO 8848 4 6 0 40 WICKED MARTYRS (815)
-AUGUSTUS 4909 3 6 0 37 WHOLY ROMAN EMPIRE (541)
TIGER BLOOD 9485 7 5 1 36 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
BRUTUS 9380 5 2 0 36 WHITE WOLVES (832)
LITTLE VARIOUS 9341 8 5 1 35 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
THE CHAMPION 9401 2 0 1 33 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
QUADLING 9445 2 0 0 33 LAND OF OZ (217)
RAGING RODHAM 9416 2 3 1 31 A BOOR RENTS (842)
HACKER 9156 5 5 0 30 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
SLIM SHADY 9511 2 0 1 30 SPIRIT'S REALM (850)
KING MUTT 9421 3 1 0 29 REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
MOOSEKNUCKLE 9303 4 1 0 27 FRAYED SANITY (799)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
5 TURNS BLOODY 9419 1 3 1 27 A BOOR RENTS (842)
JUMPING JOE 8994 3 5 0 26 WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
-LITTLE BOY 8548 2 1 0 25 BOOK OF THOMAS (801)
-LEGIONNAIRE LICH 9009 4 4 0 24 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
BRONTES 9414 2 0 0 23 BOOK OF THOMAS (801)
-COW PIE 9281 1 0 1 23 SHEWISH DINER (806)
-SLUG 9428 3 0 0 22 WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
JACK E. KENNEDY 9406 3 1 0 21 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
-3=4 9105 2 2 0 21 LES TURFISTES (727)
SIMON MAGUS 9432 2 2 0 21 DARK PATH (845)
-BASHITE 9403 3 0 1 20 STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
TELLIUS 9373 2 6 0 20 WHITE WOLVES (832)
WACKO JACKKO 9415 4 1 0 19 A BOOR RENTS (842)
MARY SLACKER 9439 4 1 0 19 MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
CHINA PRINCESS 9476 2 0 0 19 LAND OF OZ (217)
TENTENABULATION 9381 3 3 0 18 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
INDOMINUS REX 9483 2 0 0 18 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
GOB BLUTH 9478 1 1 1 18 SECOND BANANAS (573)
-BA-SHEA 9092 1 3 0 18 STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
STEROPES 9411 1 1 0 18 BOOK OF THOMAS (801)
BAD BETTY 9284 1 0 0 17 WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
NIGHTSHADE NINJA 9389 1 0 0 17 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
TIRED TEDDY 9051 2 4 1 15 WEIRD STUDENTS (805)
JUDY SPRECKLES 9438 3 2 0 13 MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
WHITE BUFFALO 9244 2 3 0 13 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
RADINSMELL 9404 2 0 0 13 FRAYED SANITY (799)
LOST ONE 9512 1 0 0 13 SPIRIT'S REALM (850)
GRADY 9479 1 1 0 13 SECOND BANANAS (573)
KING CHARLES 9451 3 1 0 12 REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
OSCAR MAIER 9365 1 1 0 12 FRAYED SANITY (799)
KYLO REN 9482 1 1 0 12 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
ARCEE 9529 1 0 0 11 DARQUE FORCES (396)
ENVY OF NORTH FORK 9468 1 2 0 10 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
ALFRED 9536 1 0 0 10 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
WALKING THUNDER 9247 2 3 0 9 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
-ALRIC 9429 2 1 0 9 WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
-BASH'IT 9446 2 0 0 9 STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
MARIE LAVEAU 9436 2 3 0 9 DARK PATH (845)
-STOOGE 9259 2 2 0 8 SATAN'S MINIONS (813)
CRAZY BIG DOG 9245 1 4 1 8 A'MERKIN INJUNS (786)
-ZOZO 9132 1 2 0 8 WICKED MARTYRS (815)
MURDERING SPECTRE 9508 1 2 0 8 SPIRIT'S REALM (850)
-HELLHOUND HESTATI 9211 1 1 0 8 SPECTRAL STEEL (778)
-DAS 9442 2 1 0 7 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
BURNING MAN 9481 2 0 0 7 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
LINDA THOMPSON 9441 1 4 0 7 MEMPHIS MAFIA (846)
-GAUSS 9427 1 2 0 5 WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
-KOHR 9430 1 2 0 5 WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
PIGS 9477 1 0 0 5 A BOOR RENTS (842)
TOBIR NUTS 9370 0 1 0 5 SHEWISH DINER (806)
GLEASON 9277 0 1 0 5 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
PROSPERO 9433 0 5 0 5 DARK PATH (845)
-BASHIM 9074 0 5 0 5 STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
-RAZAH 9155 1 1 0 4 WICKED MARTYRS (815)
SHEIK TZU 9452 0 4 0 4 REIGNNCATSNDOGS (843)
-SAER 9426 0 3 0 3 WARRIORS OF OLD (844)
MR. CROWLEY 9465 0 3 0 3 DARK PATH (845)
-BASH 9073 0 2 0 2 STEVEN'S BASHERS (827)
-SEVERUS NAPE 9524 0 1 0 1 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
PUKE 9507 0 1 0 1 SPIRIT'S REALM (850)
KUPP 9531 0 1 0 1 DARQUE FORCES (396)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SPOOK 9533 0 1 0 1 SPIRIT'S REALM (850)
-MAD-DIE MOODY 9523 0 1 0 1 DEATHLY HALLOWS (795)
HILLARY 9534 0 1 0 1 SECOND BANANAS (573)
IRONHIDE 9532 0 1 0 1 DARQUE FORCES (396)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
DUCHESSE V 9417 3 2 0 A BOOR RENTS 842 MASTER KELLOGG 396 NONE
CONTAMINATED 9527 0 1 0 BASH BROS PARK 766 IC ENFORCER 396 NONE
CONTAMINATED 9526 0 1 0 BASH BROS PARK 766 NOT SO GENTLEBEN 396 NONE
THE NORTH FORKIA 9431 0 2 0 BIG LAKE GROOVE 792 LEAF 9384 393
HEDIES 9453 0 1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 801 VAR'S NEOPHYTE 396 NONE
RASPUTIN 9535 0 1 0 DARK PATH 845 MASTER KELLOGG 396 NONE
TIM 9435 0 2 0 DARK PATH 845 FEATHER 9386 393
DEAD 9530 0 1 0 DARQUE FORCES 396 ZORSEA 396 NONE
SLUDGE 8470 9 5 1 DARQUE FORCES 396 HEADLESS NICK 8776 393
DA1 9528 0 1 0 FAST FOOD 724 ZORSEA 396 NONE
JIMMY KINGSLEY 9440 4 1 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA 846 PARADIGM 9018 396
MIKE BEATON 9437 2 3 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA 846 GOB BLUTH 9478 396
PHARAOH HOUND 9492 0 2 0 REIGNNCATSNDOGS 843 LITTLE VARIOUS 9341 396
PRINCE OF PURRRS 9424 0 2 0 REIGNNCATSNDOGS 843 BASHITE 9403 394
WHEELDEBEAST 9444 3 1 0 WEIRD ALCHEMY 480 RAGING RODHAM 9416 396
BELISARIUS 9302 7 8 0 WHITE WOLVES 832 ALIISZA 8871 396
PERSONAL ADS
Re-announcing the Inner Circle alliance for the pending Turf War! I will be running
Spectral Steel. Spirit is joining with Spirit's Realm. The Chosen One will be our
third member with his A'merkin Injuns squad. -- DD
Munchkin again? I just love North Fork! -- Oz The All Excited
TWIXIE. TWIXIE. If you haven't already signed up (officially with an ad) or had your
team fought/activated in North Fork, YOU MAY BE IN TROUBLE! Get with it, laggards! --
Oz The All Impatient
Shucks! Ozzers have one loss this turn and it is to a TWX teammate? And the loser is
ME! Aw, shucks! -- Kansas (Thinking Ace Merrill is quite mean.)
Mike Beaton, well, heck, honey; thanks for the tussle. While you were trying to feel
around, I was whacking around. Get it, guy? -- Quadling (a real winner)
5 Turns Bloody, methinks five turns will be too many for your manager. But, what the
hay, I am glad I was around to take advantage of it. -- Brains
Granulo. who'd a thunk it, eh? -- Munchkin
Health. Humility. Honor. -- Oz The All Philosophizing
TW TWXI Twixie Where are you guys? -- The Turf War Coordinator Fellows
Let it be known my intention to join Inner Circle in the upcoming Turf Wars. -- The
Chosen One, Manager of A'merkin Injuns
All -- Let it be known that I, BlackHart manager of the Deathly Hallows, will be
joining the Reigning Deathly Horde Alliance for TWXI. My motley menagerie of
maligned, misunderstood, misanthropic misfits will mangle, maim, and murder as many
malcontent opposing members as mortally possible.
To All Ye, Beware -- I Gentleben, Captain of the Reigning Deathly Horde Alliance,
comprising of myself, Gentleben (Captain) managing the REIGNNCATSNDOGS team, Blackhart
managing the DEATHLY HALLOWS team, and MrM managing the EASTERN HORDE team, we here by
announce our intent to participate in the TWXI competition -- Gentleben, Capt of the
the Reigning Deathly Horde Alliance
To All That Fear -- Fear now, for I, Gentleben, manager of REIGNNCATSNDOGS team,
Captain of the Reigning Deathly Horde Alliance, master at arms, swooner of women,
teller of great stories, and all around cool dude, do here by announce my pledge, and
my privilege, to join up with, fight along side of, and Captain the Reigning Deathly
Horde Alliance in our quest to win the coveted TWXI Championship in the upcoming TWXI
competition -- Gentleben, manager of REIGNNCATSNDOGS, and Captain of the Reigning
Deathly Horde Alliance
Sorry, the correct name of the alliance is "Second Place or Bust" (Proofreading is
always a good idea BEFORE you press send). -- Assur
I, Assurnasirbanipal, hereby announce that I will be captaining an alliance, "Second
Place or None". The members of this alliance will be myself, One Armed Bandit, and
Kharadmon. -- Assur
North Fork -- I will be participating in the Turf War with my team Shewish Diner as
part of the alliance "Second Place or Bust", along with Assur and Kharadmon. -- One
Armed Bandit, mgr of Shewish Diner
Greetings Nerds! I will be joining the Database Editors for this upcoming Turf War. My
squad is a bunch of malcontents from Star Prairie. May you all get a serious urinary
infection! -- Deeders
All -- My Eastern Horde will be joining the up coming Turf War with the Reigning
Deathly Horde Alliance. For a town known for forks, there sure were a lot spoons being
used at the local pub. I thought that I'd shown up to a soup eating contest! -- MrM
North Fork -- It's been a busy summer. Good to see Darque and Consortium (D&C)
collaborating in DC. Not sure that will continue. Anyway, as it needs to be done,
I'm trying to get it done, so the venerable Royal Flush stable will declare for the
"Mannequin's Team", whatever the name of that team ends up being. -- Crip, Mgr of
Royal Flush
Cretins -- I know many of you know very few things, but know this, the alliance
Database Editors will be competing in your little TW contest. And when it comes to
contests, I like to spend, so be prepared. I will be the captain of our merry little
band of hate-mongers. Perhaps you have noted my team Big Lake Groove, if not, just
look at the awards each week and you shall find me. Joining me in this little contest
will be my esteemed Allied Axis colleague Philthy Phil who brings the power of his
position as 9th in Command to bare, and we will also be proudly standing next to
Deeders. The three of us will be formidable as expected. See you at the Award's
Banquet. -- Den, Manager of the Big Lake Groove and High Priest of the Allied Axis and
Captain of the TW alliance Database Editors
Turf War Moderators -- I intend to compete in the upcoming Turf War. My team name is
Frayed Sanity. I will be teamed up with the Database Editors, which consits of our
Capt Den, and Deeders. -- Philthy Phil
All -- The alliance of TEABAG 2:Electric Boogaloo will be entering the TWXI contest,
with Jerman (Weird Students), Vlad (F is For Frog) and Riff-Raff (Yuppie Horde). In
addition, Jerman will serve as captain.
All -- I am declaring for the upcoming Turf War with the alliance TEABAG 2: Electric
Boogaloo. My team is Weird Students. -- Jerman
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
DUCHESSE V was viciously butchered by MASTER KELLOGG in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
CONTAMINATED was dispatched by IC ENFORCER in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
RASPUTIN was easily killed by MASTER KELLOGG in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena match.
CONTAMINATED was butchered by NOT SO GENTLEBEN in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
DEAD was assassinated by ZORSEA in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
HEDIES was murdered by VAR'S NEOPHYTE in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
DA1 was dealt death by ZORSEA in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
MUNCHKIN unbelievably bested FRUIT CUP in a 3 minute master's Challenge Title match.
BROCK TULGREN overcame GRANULO in a action packed 4 minute expert's Challenge melee.
MADCAP vanquished P-NUT FIREBEARD in a 2 minute gruesome uneven Challenge fight.
MARATHON MAN was savagely defeated by MUY CALIENTE in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
BRAINS was beaten by LORD OF BARKNESS in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
SEABLOOM was demolished by RETURN OF THE KING in a 1 minute Challenge match.
DIONEXUS handily defeated QUEEN LATIFAH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
LITTLE VARIOUS savagely slew PHARAOH HOUND in a 8 minute Challenge brawl.
QUADLING vanquished KING CHARLES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
OSCAR MAIER lost to MARY SLACKER in a exciting 5 minute Challenge fray.
MARIE LAVEAU was bested by KING MUTT in a popular 4 minute amateur's Challenge brawl.
THE CHAMPION overpowered JUDY SPRECKLES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
LINDA THOMPSON was savagely defeated by RADINSMELL in a 6 minute Challenge match.
SIMON MAGUS was bested by BRUTUS in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
GRADY overpowered MR. CROWLEY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
JIMMY KINGSLEY was narrowly killed by PARADIGM in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
ENVY OF NORTH FORK slimly lost to TELLIUS in a exciting 3 minute gory Challenge bout.
GHOST PEPPER was savagely defeated by SLUSH PUPPY in a slow 26 minute veteran's duel.
VESPASIAN was overpowered by NIMBLE FOX in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
STYLE CHANGER vanquished KIND KOHL in a action packed 1 minute gory uneven bout.
KLEGG HAII was viciously subdued by HAWKINS in a action packed 2 minute master's bout.
WHIPPED CREAM defeated EN FEUGO in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
POUTINE overpowered DRINKING DRUNK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
VALAC was defeated by BEAST MODE in a exciting 1 minute gory veteran's fight.
VARS FOLLEY handily defeated ACE MERRILL in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
BLACK CHAOS was defeated by SRIRACHA in a 1 minute brutal veteran's struggle.
CHALUPA BATMAN was viciously subdued by GALLIENUS in a popular 1 minute expert's bout.
ARMENIUS subdued LACKEY in a 2 minute conflict.
KANSAS demolished HACKER in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
THE PLAINSMAN won victory over 5 TURNS BLOODY in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BELISARIUS was murdered by ALIISZA in a 1 minute uneven competition.
TIGER BLOOD beat JUMPING JOE in a exciting 3 minute gruesome fight.
MOOSEKNUCKLE won victory over TIRED TEDDY in a 2 minute struggle.
SLIM SHADY subdued TENTENABULATION in a 1 minute conflict.
KYLO REN was vanquished by STEROPES in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
JACK E. KENNEDY devastated MORDANT DESERTER in a dull 6 minute mismatched match.
MIKE BEATON was easily killed by GOB BLUTH in a 1 minute one-sided match.
RAGING RODHAM assassinated WHEELDEBEAST in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
WACKO JACKKO won victory over PUKE in a 2 minute novice's bout.
BRONTES handily defeated CRAZY BIG DOG in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
SHEIK TZU was viciously subdued by BAD BETTY in a exciting 1 minute bloody match.
PROSPERO was beaten by WHITE BUFFALO in a 2 minute novice's battle.
CHINA PRINCESS defeated MURDERING SPECTRE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute amateur's bout.
BURNING MAN outwaited IRONHIDE in a monotonous 21 minute brutal amateur's match.
INDOMINUS REX devastated SPOOK in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
WALKING THUNDER was narrowly defeated by LOST ONE in a 2 minute amateur's battle.
GLEASON was overpowered by NIGHTSHADE NINJA in a 1 minute uneven bout.
TOBIR NUTS was devastated by ALFRED in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ARCEE devastated HILLARY in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
KUPP was beaten by PIGS in a 1 minute novice's match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 21 TOTAL PARRY 52 - 43 - 0 55 |
|BASHING ATTACK 16 PARRY-STRIKE 12 - 10 - 1 55 |
|TOTAL PARRY 15 LUNGING ATTACK 64 - 58 - 6 52 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 13 WALL OF STEEL 40 - 37 - 2 52 |
|WALL OF STEEL 12 PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 - 5 - 1 50 |
|AIMED BLOW 11 STRIKING ATTACK 37 - 45 - 2 45 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 11 AIMED BLOW 22 - 28 - 0 44 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 3 BASHING ATTACK 36 - 46 - 4 44 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 SLASHING ATTACK 34 - 65 - 6 34 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 11 - 0 8 |
Turn 396 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
PARRY-STRIKE 3 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 7 - 8 4 TOTAL PARRY
PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 1 AIMED BLOW 5 - 6 3 STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 7 - 6 SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 6 2 LUNGING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 8 - 8 LUNGING ATTACK 9 - 12 1 BASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 4 - 8 1 SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY MUNCHKIN 8432 26 14 0 139 LAND OF OZ (217)
STRIKING ATTACK STYLE CHANGER 9162 14 11 2 113 BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)
BASHING ATTACK GRANULO 8496 21 16 0 99 WEIRD ALCHEMY (480)
LUNGING ATTACK HAWKINS 8949 12 7 0 91 STAR PRAIRIE (821)
WALL OF STEEL POUTINE 8769 17 16 1 88 FAST FOOD (724)
SLASHING ATTACK WHIPPED CREAM 8768 17 16 1 85 FAST FOOD (724)
AIMED BLOW RETURN OF THE KING 9124 10 8 0 65 ROYAL FLUSH (48)
PARRY-STRIKE TIGER BLOOD 9485 7 5 1 36 YUPPIE HORDE (848)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is FRUIT CUP 9024. The most popular warrior this turn
was FRUIT CUP 9024. The ten other most popular fighters were GRANULO 8496, KING MUTT
9421, ENVY OF NORTH FORK 9468, TELLIUS 9373, MUY CALIENTE 9212, LITTLE VARIOUS 9341,
OSCAR MAIER 9365, HAWKINS 8949, TIGER BLOOD 9485, and MADCAP 9306.
The least popular fighter this week was SLUSH PUPPY 9023. The other ten least
popular fighters were GHOST PEPPER 8722, IRONHIDE 9532, BURNING MAN 9481, JACK E.
KENNEDY 9406, PHARAOH HOUND 9492, KUPP 9531, HILLARY 9534, TOBIR NUTS 9370, GLEASON
9277, and SPOOK 9533.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
STYLE CHANGER (47-9162) BIG LAKE GROOVE (792)