DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/17/2008    Duedate: 07/14/2008

FRATSFA ARENA

DM-52    TURN-245

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

PAINFUL PEONY
FLOWER GIRLS (189)
(52-3744) [17-9-0,100]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LEO                            POSITION IS EMPTY
DARQUE AGES (393)              
(52-3869) [11-4-0,106]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LEO                            FAT LIP
DARQUE AGES (393)              OTTO'S PARTS (150)
(52-3869) [11-4-0,106]         (52-3791) [3-4-0,33]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)       48
2. ZERO (403)                  38      FLOWER GIRLS (189)
3. DARQUE AGES (393)           36      Unchartered Team
4. ODD ODIUS ORCS (374)        14
5. FLOWER GIRLS (189)           8      PURPLE PEONS (397)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 FLOWER GIRLS (189)       490 289 14 62.9   1/ 2 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)     7  2 1
 2/ 0 DARQUE AGES (393)         50  38  5 56.8   2/ 1 FLOWER GIRLS (189)        7  4 1
 3/ 3 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)     89  73  5 54.9   3/ 5*ZERO (403)                7  8 0
 4/ 0 OTTO'S PARTS (150)       273 262 13 51.0   4/ 3 THE GENTILES (400)        6  9 1
 5/ 5 THE GENTILES (400)        27  28  5 49.1   5/ 8*PURPLE PEONS (397)        4  5 0
 6- 7*EPYC DEATH (404)          11  17  0 39.3   6/ 9 ODD ODIUS ORCS (374)      3  4 0
 7/ 6*PURPLE PEONS (397)         9  14  3 39.1   7/ 0 DARQUE AGES (393)         2  0 0
 8/ 8 ODD ODIUS ORCS (374)      16  27  2 37.2   8- 4*EPYC DEATH (404)          2  6 0
 9/ 9*ZERO (403)                16  29  0 35.6   9/ 0 OTTO'S PARTS (150)        1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

The Isle of the Eye:

     Four steps into the woods and they couldn't see the clearing and the cart, or
hear even the distant murmuring of voices.  It wasn't that the undegrowth was heavy,
it was just... as though there was a barrier of some kind which they had just
crossed.  And it was hotter in here under the trees, with the air absolutely
motionless.  Even to speak here seemed like it would be an offense.
     Whispering, Gissanniah said, "We should go back.  Closer to the edge, where we
can still see out."
     Senator Sedalia considered arguing, good, solid arguments such as that they
didn't want to risk someone seeing in and spotting them.  He shook his head.
Gissanniah was right, the risk of getting lost here was worse.  He looked down.  His
feet were pressed into the leaf mold under the trees, and would leave visible
footprints.  Starting here.  There were no other visible footprints marking their
entry into the woods.  "Which way is back?"

Halfway between Seam and Tarrgir:

     Lenpro looked at Fandil and raised an eyebrow in question.
     Fandil shook his head.  "I've no idea what's going on here.  I can't think of
any reason for a... a guard post on this road.  It isn't a border."
     Lenpro considered that and shook his head.  "It is, though.  The border between
the Clanholds and Convincia must run right along here."
     "Not an external border," Fandil insisted.  "There's no reason to patrol an
internal--"
     "Let's ask them."  Lenpro nodded at the soldiers standing in the road ahead.
"In fact, we'd better go up to them before they decide our hesitation here is
suspicious!"  He nudged his horse with a heel, walking it forward.
     The soldiers formed up to make it clear that no one was to pass without their
approval, and an officer stepped out in front of them to meet the travelers.
     Fandil nodded politely to them all and said, "Good day.  What's afoot here?"
     "We've orders to turn back any Aruaki who try to leave the Clanhold territory,"
the officer said.  He was firm, but not belligerent.  For him, clearly, it was just a
case of doing his job.
     "Why?" Lenpro asked.
     The officer shrugged.  "I am not privy to policy.  All I have are the orders."
     "How do you tell for sure that someone is or is not Aruaki?" Fandil asked,
looking around for a magician.
     "We have been provided with a device."  The officer's tone was a little sour,
now.  He gestured at a framework of three poles, two vertical with the third uniting
the upper ends.  It was about the size of a normal doorway.  "If you pass through
that without setting off the alarm, then you have no Aruaki blood and are free to go 
on into Convincia."
     "Doesn't that seem a little unfair?" Fandil asked.
     "No.  It seems like a very clear order from my superior officer.  I have been
told the Aruaki are still carrying the plague of shape-changing," he added, "and the
gods know how much damage they did among normal people when they Changed and went
berserk."
     Fandil opened his mouth to argue further, but Lenpro stopped him.  "This man has
his orders and must obey them," the Iayean manager pointed out.  Our quarrel, if we
have one--there's a lot of point in that business of the plague, you know--our
quarrel must be with those who established the policy and issued the orders."
     "I don't like it," Fandil growled.  "But you're right."  He sighed, nodded an
apology to the soldier, and dismounted to walk through the test-doorway.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #7 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the Isle of the Eye:

     "Four steps and we're lost," Senator Sedalia muttered.  "This is worse than
politics."
     "They do say that the Isle is larger than the Lake and touches other waters,"
Gissanniah answered.  "What do we do?  Just start walking until we get somewhere--
anywhere?"
     "It may come to that, but I'm not ready to give up yet."  The senator looked
around again.  "Hmm.  How about if I stand still, right here, and we hold hands--no,
that might not give us enough distance."  He undid his necktie and handed one end to
his companion.  "I'll stand here and hold my end, you go out to the farthest end of
the tie and your arm--no fear of it breaking, silk is very strong--and walk around me
in a wide circle.  We haven't come so far as all that.  You should be able to reach
the edge of the woods at some point on that circle.  Then you stand still and tug on
the tie until I join you."  Of course, it was possible that the edge of the woods was
no longer four steps away, or that any edge they found would be the one they'd come
from.  You could never tell, with magic.  But since neither he nor Gissanniah could
do anything about those possibilities, the senator saw no point in mentioning them.

Convincia:

     "That's a big fire," Lenpro said.
     Fandil squinted ahead.  It was certainly a lot of smoke.  "Maybe... they're
burning brush in the fields before planting?" he suggested.
     "Late in the season to plant."
     "It's been a wet spring, planting has been delayed in a lot of places."
     "Maybe," Lenpro said, "but that smoke is rising over the city of Tarrgir.  It
might be buildings burning, instead of brush."
     "If that's so, perhaps we can help them put the fire out," Fandil said.  He
urged his horse to a faster pace.
     "If they want the fires put out," Lenpro muttered.  "I have a feeling about
this."

Andor:

     Herlas backed up two steps before he even thought about it.  "You can't parade
that golem through the streets and claim it's the king!"
     Hesselbod raised his eyebrows.  "Of course we can."  He gestured at the golem
who stood obediently, dressed in royal garments and awaiting a command.  "The artist
who modeled the face and figure has caught the appearance of the last king quite
well, the artificer who constructed the golem was the best Lord Korneth could hire,
and with your magic to cast a glamor over the whole, no one will doubt that this
truly is the king."
     Herlas gaped in silence for a moment, stunned by the magnitude of Lord Korneth's
ambition and of the royal scribe's misunderstanding.  "The best illusions will not
fool everyone," he said, "and without illusion, that is obviously a golem.  You'll
have a firestorm of outraged citizens--"
     "That is not your concern," Lord Korneth said coldly, entering the room.  He
dismissed the scribe with a flick of his eyes.
     Herlas turned to face him squarely.  He was not afraid of Korneth of Sengir, who
had come from nowehre and styled himself Chief Minister of Andoria, but he was deeply
wary.  There was too much unknown about this man for anyone to feel relaxed around
him, starting with where Sengir might be found and what Korneth wanted with the
Andorian states.  Herlas had thought, originally, that Korneth was driven by a simple
ambition to rule.  Ambition, he could understand, and as the man was no magician,
their goals should not conflict.  Now, though... he wasn't sure.  Ambition, yes, but
not simple.  "Why not produce the real king?" he asked.  "Even drugged or enspelled
to be your puppet, he would be more convincing than that golem."
     Korneth's lip curled in a sneer.  "The 'real king' no longer exists, and he was
pathetic to begin with."  He dismissed the point with a wave of his hand.  "And it is
not your concern.  Do not think to usurp authority to question or command.  Your only
business is to do as you are told.  In this case, to cast the glamor."

On the Isle of the Eye:

     Sedalia waited, holding one end of his tie and turning slowly in place.  He was
fairly sure he was still in the same place.  And beginning to suspect that he had
made more than one complete turn.  Blast these trees!  They all looked alike.
Somewhere out of sight, Gissanniah hesitated.  Not the first time.  What was she
seeing?  The young woman was observant and intelligent, but he wanted to be seeing
for himself.  Still, he shifted his grip to accomodate another turn, she was the more
nimble of the two of them and better suited to dodging around trees.
     Two definite tugs.  The signal.  Senator Sedalia began to follow his silk tie
through the trees.

Tarrgir:

     Half the city was in flames.  The two managers sat their horses on the rise at
the edge of the river valley, looking down at smoke and ruin.
     "At this point, there isn't a thing we could do," Fandil said.  He shook his
head.  "Not even with magic.  They seem to have it under control--not spreading
further, at least--but I can't imagine how it spread so fast!"
     "Arson," Lenpro said.  "Fires started in several places at once."  He squinted
down at the city.  "Looks like the Military Academy was about in the center of the
burned area; it's all gone now."
     "I don't understand how people can do that," Fandil muttered.  "Arson--blind
destruction--"
     Lenpro was silent for a long moment, then started his horse forward and down the
slope.  "Maybe not so blind," he said over his shoulder.  "If someone wanted to
destroy the Andorian League, it looks like there's been a good beginning made."
     Fandil urged his horse to catch up.  "Just burning down the Academy won't--"
     "And driving a wedge between the Aruaki and the normal humans," Lenpro reminded
him.  "And more things, I have no doubt, that we haven't found yet."
     "Who would want to destroy the League, and why?" Fandil demanded.  "Surely even
the Delarquans or the Karnhorns wouldn't--"
     "Why not?" Lenpro asked.  "And there are probably other enemies out there that
we don't happen to know about."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 297): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 595): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 595): STEWART of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 588): DONDRIC of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 584): MORLIN POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 584): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 581): IRIS of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 577): IRISH CREAM of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 546): LON CHANEY JR. of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 537): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 528): BANNIR PARK of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): PAINFUL PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 430): DIMAGGIO oF 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 480): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 297): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 595): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 585): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 588): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 584): MEDAL OF HONOR F3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 584): BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 581): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 577): RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 546): MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 537): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 528): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 430): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 198): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 480): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): HAMMURABI of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 594): WALK THE LINE of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 594): MOLYNEUX of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 587): CHUCKER ISTTA of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 583): MIRESSEA POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 576): PRIVATE PERNA of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 243): IGOR MALMORT of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hey, Flower Girls, did you see how I manipulated myself into The DM with only 89
points?  I am goooooood!
     For those interested, here is what the collective Flower Girls look like:
(Other than their typical 36-24-36 long legged, I mean.)
ST  11, 12, 14, 15, 20
CN   4, 11, 12, 14, 15
SZ   6,  8, 10, 14, 14
WT  11, 14, 14, 15, 16
WL  15, 16, 16, 16, 17
SP   4,  4,  7, 7,  14
DF  10, 10, 11, 11, 12
     Whaddayathink?
          Painful Peony, Duelmistress Of Fratsfa

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys 
to dogpile on.  BLOOD AND GUTS! now holds the crown and they are betting they can 
keep it.  For every winner there is a loser.  Speaking of losers, lets take a look at 
EPYC DEATH, who went down to 4th from 8th.  Life is tough.  Coming up with a solid 
1-3-0 outing, PURPLE PEONS has advanced 3 places in the rankings.  Hey everybody, 
watch out for LEO, who flew up 20 points in the rankings after mashing OUTCAST ORCHID 
like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top ten 
was LOUT, who dropped 13 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with 
THREE.  Our battling duelmaster PAINFUL PEONY has managed to hold the title, fending 
off BRAIN TUMOUR's none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, OTTO'S PARTS.  
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that SITTEES was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the 
personal hygiene of SITTEES' warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be 
funny, but catch FLOWER GIRLS' act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly 
deft at running from SITTEES.  And who is this LILAC LIVER you ask, with 39 points 
and a 3-0-1 record.  Ooh, the tales I could tell!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  This week 4-8-1 DERANGED DIAMOND was sent to the Dark 
Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take notice of this.  
TWO defied all odds and slew CHARLES DE GAULLE in the Dark Arena.  The only ones 
displeased were the buzzards, as CHARLES DE GAULLE's meat is notoriously tough.  
Remember:  alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with you and 
see what happens.   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  Good luck in 
next week's fights.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've 
got you worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PAINFUL PEONY 3744           17   9  0   100       FLOWER GIRLS (189)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LEO 3869                     11   4  0   106       DARQUE AGES (393)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRAIN TUMOUR 3502            17   9  0    84       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 SIZZLING SUNFLOWER 3846      12   6  0    84       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
 OUTCAST ORCHID 3870          11   3  1    81       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-URBAN 3863                   13   2  0    79       DARQUE AGES (393)
 PULLED HAMSTRING 3554         9  14  0    78       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 ANASTASIUS 3867               7   2  2    67       DARQUE AGES (393)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRMINSUL 3871                 7   4  1    66       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HARSH HAWTHORN 3960           6   2  0    50       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-TELESPHORUS 3861              6   8  0    43       DARQUE AGES (393)
 LYCURGUS 3929                 7   4  2    40       THE GENTILES (400)
 ABHORRENT ANT 3668            4   6  1    40       ODD ODIUS ORCS (374)
 ATHLETE'S FOOT 3678          10   8  1    39       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 TWO 3962                      4   4  0    39       ZERO (403)
 LILAC LIVER 3911              3   0  1    39       PURPLE PEONS (397)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FAT LIP 3791                  3   4  0    33       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 TWO 4039                      1   0  1    33       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 SIGISMUND 3928                6   5  2    29       THE GENTILES (400)
 FOUR 3964                     5   3  0    29       ZERO (403)
 TORTURING TULIP 3974          4   1  1    28       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-ANISHKA 3956                  4   2  0    27       EPYC DEATH (404)
 ONE 3961                      3   5  0    27       ZERO (403)
 AESCHYLUS 3952                5   4  0    24       THE GENTILES (400)
-JAZMINA 3959                  3   3  0    24       EPYC DEATH (404)
 THREE 3963                    2   6  0    24       ZERO (403)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NERO 3945                     5   5  0    20       THE GENTILES (400)
 DULL DANDELION 3731           2   1  0    19       ODD ODIUS ORCS (374)
-URBAN II 3859                 2   2  0    14       DARQUE AGES (393)
 FINE FIEND 3903               1   1  0    14       PURPLE PEONS (397)
 LOUT 3902                     2   3  0    13       PURPLE PEONS (397)
-ARRAHE 3955                   1   5  0    12       EPYC DEATH (404)
 APPLE 3973                    2   3  0     9       ZERO (403)
 RUNNY NOSE 3877               1   0  0     9       OTTO'S PARTS (150)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
ONE SHOT 4038           0  1 0 BLOOD AND GUTS! 365  STONE GOLEM           245  NONE
CHARLES DE GAULL        0  0 0 DARK ARENA           TWO 4039              245  NONE
BANDOR 3957             1  4 0 EPYC DEATH 404       SIGISMUND 3928        243   
GLON 3958               2  3 0 EPYC DEATH 404       TORTURING TULIP 3974  243   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
DERANGED DIAMOND 3666   4  8 1 ODD ODIUS ORCS 374   WAILIN' WAYNE         245  NONE
HAPPY 4045              0  1 0 PURPLE PEONS 397     BOY TOY               245  NONE
LEONIDAS 3926           4  7 1 THE GENTILES 400     STONE GOLEM           245  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Igor Malmut -- You pounded me and pounded me and oh, it was so much fun!  Good luck
in The Big Time and thanks for willing me the Title.  I owe you! -- Hugs and Kisses,
Painful Peony

Leonidas -- I really had fun with you.  We make such fine music together.  You yelled
awfully loud at the end (wink) which I will take as a successful conclusion.  If you
come over to The Flower Shoppe and visit me, we can really get it on! -- Torturing
Tulip

Ahhhh, Anishka.  Girls just wanna have fun!  And we did.  I want more of you!  Flower
Shoppe later? -- Harsh Hawthorn

Purple Peons -- Hot team on the move!  Congrats.  Bring some of that hot stuff over
to The Flower Shoppe where my gals await.  They aim to please.  (And they are very,
very accurate.) -- Lady Fern

Nero -- Why we do have something going on.  I just love getting it on with kings.
Let the people talk.  Meanwhile, the day is ours. -- Harsh Hawthorne

NAIEI -- After all these years, now you tell us? -- Lady Fern

The team is now reduced to nothing much with not less than two deaths in the
tournament!  So I'm afraid I will have to put the remains to rest until the next
tourney.  May life in Fratsfa be sweet to you!  May the Flowers flourish! -- Le
Pentarque

I guess I can give the full Flower Shoppe a try!  My whole life prepared me for this
supreme challenge! -- Igor Malmort

Harsh Hawthorn -- My pet, I'll be waiting in my chambers. -- Nero

Torturing Tulip -- Liar, liar, petals on fire.  Wasn't your intention to take so
long. -- Sigismund

Purple Peons -- Welcome back, we at the Gentiles have been waiting your return.  The
ghost of our poor Dionysius haunts us all. -- Silky, mgr.

Jazmina -- That was brave! -- Sigismund

I'm a dishonor to my teammates, I'll miss them dearly. -- Leonidas

31 May 2008
Any and all who live in the 805 area, I would like for you to call me so we can get
together for BBQ's, softball games, and so on.  It has been a while since the last
get together (several years).  It was a blast and I am sure the next one will be
also.  We just have to do it.  All alliances are welcome.  Just because my warriors
leave your warrior beaten and bloody in defeat does not mean we can't have a beer or
five together.  I'll even buy the first round.  So call 805-588-3419 and ask for Dave
a.k.a. Misfit, former member of the Green and Purple Polka Dot Alliance (GAPPDA).

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DERANGED DIAMOND was dealt death by WAILIN' WAYNE in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
LEONIDAS was dispatched by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
HAPPY was put to death by BOY TOY in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
ONE SHOT was narrowly killed by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena duel.
TWO butchered CHARLES DE GAULLE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
PAINFUL PEONY savagely defeated BRAIN TUMOUR in a 4 minute master's Title match.
OUTCAST ORCHID was overpowered by LEO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
SIZZLING SUNFLOWER overcame PULLED HAMSTRING in a 2 minute expert's fight.
IRMINSUL vanquished ATHLETE'S FOOT in a 1 minute uneven duel.
TWO was overpowered by ANASTASIUS in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SIGISMUND was overpowered by HARSH HAWTHORN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
FAT LIP was overcome by LYCURGUS in a popular 2 minute brutal bout.
TORTURING TULIP was subdued by ABHORRENT ANT in a 1 minute competition.
LOUT was narrowly defeated by THREE in a 3 minute bloody match.
NERO was overpowered by LILAC LIVER in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
FINE FIEND was overpowered by ONE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
FOUR vanquished DULL DANDELION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
AESCHYLUS bested TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a popular 1 minute brawl.
APPLE was luckily beaten by RUNNY NOSE in a 2 minute brutal novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        22 -   9 -  0      71  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  12 -  0      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   4 -  0      60  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         TOTAL PARRY       10 -   7 -  0      59  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   17 -  16 -  1      52  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  30 -  4      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    31 -  41 -  1      43  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -  13 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 245 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  WALL OF STEEL  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  7         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    PAINFUL PEONY 3744         17   9  0  100 FLOWER GIRLS (189)
AIMED BLOW       LEO 3869                   11   4  0  106 DARQUE AGES (393)
TOTAL PARRY      BRAIN TUMOUR 3502          17   9  0   84 OTTO'S PARTS (150)
BASHING ATTACK   ANASTASIUS 3867             7   2  2   67 DARQUE AGES (393)
STRIKING ATTACK  IRMINSUL 3871               7   4  1   66 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
SLASHING ATTACK  HARSH HAWTHORN 3960         6   2  0   50 FLOWER GIRLS (189)
PARRY-STRIKE     LILAC LIVER 3911            3   0  1   39 PURPLE PEONS (397)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LEO 3869.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
FAT LIP 3791.  The ten other most popular fighters were PAINFUL PEONY 3744, PULLED 
HAMSTRING 3554, LEONIDAS 3926, LYCURGUS 3929, LOUT 3902, APPLE 3973, ONE SHOT 4038, 
LEO 3869, THREE 3963, and ONE 3961.

The least popular fighter this week was FINE FIEND 3903.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were NERO 3945, SIGISMUND 3928, TWO 3962, ATHLETE'S FOOT 3678, BRAIN TUMOUR 
3502, RUNNY NOSE 3877, DULL DANDELION 3731, ABHORRENT ANT 3668, TORTURING TULIP 3974, 
and OUTCAST ORCHID 3870.

                         SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN MINNEAPOLIS!

Our summer FTF will be held in Minneapolis, Minnesota, July 18-20, 2008.  It will be 
held at the Holiday Inn Select Minneapolis/St. Paul in Blomington, MN, just down the 
street from the Mall of America, at 3 Appletree Square (952-854-9000).  Rooms are only 
$105.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy.  There is a free 24-hour shuttle from the airport
and free shuttle service to the mall; free parking, free high-speed wireless internet
in all guestrooms.  There is a large fitness center, jacuzzi, and indoor pool.  The 
rooms are blocked--ask for the "Reality Simulations" room block.  There are tons of 
restaurants nearby at the Mall, as well as a cafe in the hotel.  

Hotel info:  www.himspairport.com
Mall of America:  www.mallofamerica.com

The tournament information sheet will be out imminently.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to the tournament and that we will see you there!

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XLV

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
FORSYTHIA 2368 (38-32-1)               3  3  0         THE FURIOUS FIVE     

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BRAIN TUMOR 2584 (31-16-0)             1  3  0         OTTO'S PARTS         

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
NOVERCAPHOBIA 3837 (5-1-0)             4  3  0         WATCH OUT!           

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ANASTASIUS 3867 (6-2-2)                5  3  1         DARQUE AGES          
LEO 3869 (10-4-0)                      1  3  0         DARQUE AGES          

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SER RED IRON 3622 (2-4-1)              1  3  0         RED KNIGHTS          

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
OCTOBER STRIKE 3953 (0-0-0)            3  3  0  DEAD   BLOOD AND GUTS!      

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
IRIS FAN 3997 (0-0-0)                  2  1  0  DEAD   BLOOD AND GUTS!      

CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SIZZLING SUNFLOWER 3846 (11-5-0)       0  3  0         FLOWER GIRLS         

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ARRAHE 3955 (0-4-0)                    0  3  0         EPYC DEATH