Date   : 06/16/2009    Duedate: 07/13/2009


DM-52    TURN-258

This Weeks Top Honors


(52-3502) [24-11-0,128]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BRAIN TUMOUR                   JASKER
OTTO'S PARTS (150)             THE ORDER (412)
(52-3502) [24-11-0,128]        (52-4026) [6-3-2,62]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LENA KORIL                     SER ILYN PAYNE
MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)             SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
(52-3495) [20-24-0,101]        (52-3573) [13-15-2,93]


SEA DOGS (421)

Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OTTO'S PARTS (150)          46
2. THE UNDEAD II (423)         34      WATCH OUT! (391)
3. THE ORDER (412)             26      Unchartered Team
4. WATCH OUT! (391)            26
5. SEA DOGS (421)              21      SEA DOGS (421)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*SEA DOGS (421)            11   4  0 73.3   1/ 2*SEA DOGS (421)           11  4 0
 2/ 2 WATCH OUT! (391)          39  18  1 68.4   2/ 1 FLOWER GIRLS (189)        9  6 0
 3/ 4 FLOWER GIRLS (189)       521 314 15 62.4   3/ 7 FIRE INC. (394)           8  4 0
 4/ 5 FIRE INC. (394)           51  31  2 62.2   4/ 3 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)     7  3 0
 5/ 3*THE ORDER (412)           27  18  4 60.0   5/ 4 OTTO'S PARTS (150)        6  4 0
 6/ 0*THE UNDEAD II (423)        3   2  0 60.0   6/ 6 MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)        6  9 0
 7/ 6 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)    109  83  5 56.8   7- 5 BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)      5  3 2
 8/ 7 SILVER KNIGHTS (361)      72  65  5 52.6   8/ 8 SILVER KNIGHTS (361)      5 10 0
 9/ 8 OTTO'S PARTS (150)       292 273 13 51.7   9/12 WATCH OUT! (391)          4  3 0
10- 9 BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)      40  38  8 51.3  10/11*THE ORDER (412)           4  6 0
11-10*BLEAKER LEGION (411)      20  23  1 46.5  11/ 0*THE UNDEAD II (423)       3  2 0
12/11 MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)       100 118  0 45.9  12-10*FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)  2  3 0
13-12*FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)   2   3  0 40.0  13/ 0*DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)    2  3 0
14/ 0*DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)     2   3  0 40.0  14- 9*BLEAKER LEGION (411)      1  9 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT


     "What?  You don't know about The Flower Shoppe and The Flower Girls?  Well,
then, let me fill you in," said the Fratsfa shopkeeper to what appeared to be a new
incoming manager.  "They have been a fixture in Fratsfa for many years, providing
economic prosperity, additional town protection, and a whole lot of mighty fine eye
candy, if you know what I mean?" winked the shopkeeper.
     "It all starts with the Lady Fern, who is quite the looker for a mature woman
business lady, I must admit. Did you know she is the youngest and only sister of the
Consortium Elders--Kennelworth of Aruak City (Bulldogs), Lenpro of Iaye (Lenpros),
Fandil The Wise of Ardivent (Fandils), and Curator of Arkers (Smithsonian).  They all
fawn over their little sister, but she is known to be the smartest of them all.
     She came to Fratsfa many years ago, and immediately built an enormous facility
on the edge of town.  Much of it is underground and off-limits to the common
townsfolk.  The mansion-like building houses The Flower Shoppe and Lady Fern's
personal quarters on the first floor.  On the second floor is the liveliest business
in Fratsfa, The Flower Girl Pleasure and Pain Emporium.  Oh, the fun and games!  The
underground cavern sector is said to hold an enormous and secret training facilities,
where The Lady's Flower Girls hone their gladiator skills.  It is said that many of
The Consortium managers and friends send their warriors to train there upon occasion.
     Let me tell you about The Flower Shoppe first.  The finest roses in the land can
be purchased there.  But many, many other types of flowers are available.  It is said
that the Queen, herself, will only accept the special blood red roses that come from
Lady Fern's Flower Shoppe.  If you want a favor from Lady Fern, you'd best first stop
at The Flower Shoppe and purchase a bouquet of dozen yellow lilies or roses, or be
prepared to be denied a visit.  The locals and the many arena warriors that intend to
visit "upstairs" have learned that it pays to stop downstairs at The Flower Shoppe
first, to take corsage, or bouquet, or something special to The Flower Girl of
     As to the upstairs, well, think of it as a brothel, if you will, and come well
funded, and with your best weapon, if you know what I mean, because this is THE spot
in the land.  The five Flower Girls are, by far, the most popular, but, there is
something or someone there for every taste.  Male, female, neutral, pairs, teams,
whatever; the ladies are trained to provide what you need.  Lucky, indeed, is the
person that can afford multiple Flower Girls at once, for the pleasure will be
exquisite.  Once upon a time there were those that worried at the security and safety
of the ladies therein, but then they learned that The Five Flower Girls are amongst
the best assassins in the land, often doing favors and tasks for the royalty of the
land.  Multi-talented, well, I should say!  Lovely, fun-loving, and dangerous!  There
have been rumors that even The Lady Fern has participated in all the activities I
just mentioned and has a long list of well-paying suitors for both her pleasure
talents and her covert talents.  It would be a mistake to mistreat Lady Fern or her
Flower Girls for The Consortium fingers are in every part of the land.  So just go
visit The Flower Shoppe and The Flower Girls and have FUN.
     As to the underground training facilities, all that I can tell you is word-of-
mouth as I have never been privy to these special chambers.  First, I would tell you
that they are huge, and rumored to be luxurious for a training and exercise facility,
with the finest equipment available.  It is rumored that one can find many Consortium
warriors and friends training here, often sparring with each other.  An old
arenamaster told me that there is also a special lead-walled room where wizards,
sorcerers, and necromancers practice and train in magic.  The lady apparently added
on this room at the request of her elder brother, Fandil The Wise.  Just as important
as the training facilities are the conference and war rooms where much of the covert
and tactical political strategies of the land are allegedly initiated.
     Yep, the Lady's facilities are quite the fixture in Fratsfa."
     The new manager eyed the shopkeeper warily and told him that his team had come
to Fratsfa for The Fratsfa Quest with the idea of winning it all and acquiring fame
and gain for his team.
     "Well, now, you surely came to the right place and good luck to you.  Any team
which can unseat The Flower Girls as Ultimate Victors deserves all the praise and
riches that can be mustered.  I have right here posted on my bulletin board the final
top ten standings of the last Fratsfa Quest which ended in October, 2006:
     1.  Flower Girls (Lady Fern)
     2.  Blood & Guts (Le Pentarque)
     3.  Otto's Parts (Crip)
     4.  Odin's Chosen (Heathen Hatebread)
     5.  Asassin Nation (Ghab)
     6.  Dark Raiders (Fangthayne)
     7.  Silver Knights (Toker)
     8.  Bronze Knights (Dark Knight Osiris)
     9.  Bleak Legion (Expatriate)
     10. Springborne Fair (Still)
I have heard that many of these same teams are entered in this Quest, so the
competition will be very, very tough.
     Now, you come on in to my shop anytime during the competition to chat and keep
me up to date on how your team is doing.  You don't have to buy anything, you know,
but I'd be much obliged if you did.  Bring all your friends, too.  Don't be a
     And with that, the new manager thanked the shopkeeper and departed the shop.  He
had his work cut out for himself.  He hustled away to call yet another training
session for his team.  It was looking like they were going to need it.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     A weather-beaten man let his horse find its way through the streets of Fratsfa.
With his one good arm, he loosely held the reins and surveyed the city.  He'd never
been here before, but he imagined that the place had seen better days.  The place was
clean, at least, but you could sense the loneliness.  A cracked facade.  A few too
many unlit windows.  The city never really recovered from the Delarquan invasion,
some sixty years before, and the people never forgot it either.  The few people he
passed on the street, he could see it in their faces.  He didn't look like them.
They knew what he was.  Still, these broken people had "honor" and "civilization," so
he and his gladiators would be safe for the time being.
     He finally found the house he was looking for.  The sun was setting and the
light drizzle was tapering off as a servant took his horse and led them both into the
courtyard.  The One Armed Bandit was pleased to see his pirates turned gladiators
still practicing in the open area, despite the lateness of the day.  He'd picked a
good crew this time. You never could tell, though, until they'd stepped into the
arena.  Granted, he greased enough palms to have the pick of the dungeons of the
Delarquan Federation, but it was still difficult finding the ones with enough fight
left in them.  Other managers took walk-ins, but he wanted nothing to do with those
glory hounds.  They wanted fame and money.  When a man is staring at his death at the
end of a spear, those things won't help him one bit.
     His men stopped what they were doing as he dismounted.  Breathing heavily,
clutching wooden practice swords, steam rising off their bodies.  They had only met
him once before, months ago, but his was a face they would always remember.  His was
the face that saved them from the gallows.  It wasn't often that a captured pirate
cheated death and they were grateful for the second chance.
     He took a moment and cleared his throat.  He'd been riding alone for days and
his voice was unsteady from disuse.  "Listen up.  I'm not one for big speeches.  I've
seen the newsletters and you've done a fine job so far.  But the real challenge
starts tomorrow.  They call it the Quest for the Best, and that's why we are here.
Because you all are the best."  He met their eyes, one by one.  "Now get some food
and some rest, because its going to be a long day."
     As he turned to go inside and take his own advice, he tried not to dwell on how
young and inexperienced they were.  They'd never fought in a tournament.  They had
two arena fights apiece under their belts.  Well, they'd better be the best, he
thought, if they were going to stand any chance at all.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #30 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

West of Fratsfa:

     Fandil didn't like the idea of leaving Ravishing Redbud alone to face the
hunters coming through the woods, but he was not a fool.  There was more at stake
here than his pride, after all.  "If we can get to ground on the other side of this
ravine and move on up the mountain without being seen, we'll do so.  You follow when
you can.  I don't like to leave you, but...."
     "Finding and stopping the magician is important," she finished for him, nodding.
"Good plan, but don't forget that the hunters have hounds.  See you later--I
     Fandil saluted her silently, for the stand she was about to make, and also for
her youth and innocent certainty that all would work out as she expected.  He hoped
she was right.  One more stare into the darkening woods, an assessment of the sounds
of horses and hounds moving through the brush, and then he moved carefully back to
the trunk of the tree and around it.
     There was enough light for him to see Elosjon clinging tensely to a mostly-
upright branch.  The young mage was white-faced but had managed a mask of calm.
"What do we do next?" he asked.
     "We keep moving," Fandil said, keeping his voice low.  "Redbud will deal with
these hunters, one way or another.  Our job is to get up the mountain and locate this
     "She is a trained and capable fighter and has, ahem, other skills that will also
aid her in stopping and distracting a party of men.  She has her job and we have
ours, Elosjon."  Fandil edged past him and farther out along the limb.
     Transferring to the next tree was tricky, but he managed it.  He had a spell on
the tip of his mind ready to serve as a safety net, but he managed without that.
Moved far enough along to stand firmly on a good, thick branch, turned, and looked
back.  Elosjon was hesitating on the other tree, on the other side of this ravine.
Might as well give him a minute or two to summon up his resolve.  Fandil squinted to
the right and left.  A good, deep, steep-sided ravine, and neither end in sight.  If
it was long enough, the hunters wouldn't even consider trying to go around.  Good.  A
true barrier to pursuit.  That there might be hostile forces on this side of the
ravine was a problem for later.
     Ah, here he came now.  Mincing steps.  Nervous clutchings at any other branches
within reach.  The boy looked a bit silly, but Fandil was not moved to laugh; he was
going forward in the face of obvious fear, which was the best working definition of
courage.  It wasn't the looks of a thing that mattered, just the substance.
     Horns and hounds closer now, near the other side of the ravine.  An outburst of
shouting.  Fandil's fingers twitched, but he was nearly certain that any serious
magic used here--and it would take that to deal with the hunt magically--would be
detectable up the mountain at Mountain Home.  If the magician up there was watching,
and he'd be a fool not to.  Nothing so far had indicated that their opponent was a
fool.  Coming so close to bringing down the Andorian League required competence and
alertness as well as malice and cunning.
     The loud voices reached a crescendo and stopped.  To Fandil, that silence seemed
more... thoughtful than ominous.  He motioned to Elosjon to hurry, hoping the young
mage could see him.  Apparently so.

     Elosjon made it to the farthest tip of the first branch that would support him,
or that he believed would support him, and stared across at Fandil.  Down at the
ravine.  It was dark in here under the trees, but a sort of translucent darkness--
that was his trained magical perception, of course.  Or something to do with his
magical training, he'd never been sure exactly what.  The ravine was very deep, and
there were sharp rocks in the bottom.  It would be a really bad place to fall.  The
nearest sturdy-looking limb of the other tree was... six feet, at least.  Farther
away than he was tall, anyway.  He would have to step on an unreliably slim branch
and then... jump.  The prospect was not encouraging.  At all.  But he couldn't stay
here.  The old mage was counting on him.
     Besides, Fandil had done this.  He must be at least, well, pretty old, and HE
had done it.  The young man set his teeth, wiped his hands on his robe one at a time,
and reached for the next handhold.
     The branch quivered and flexed.  He tightened his grip and kept going.  Moved
faster, because he didn't think he could stand it to anticipate any longer.  Step,
step, jump.  Desperate clutch.  Scrabble with his feet, drag himself forward.
     He didn't fall.  That was a surprise; he had, he admitted now, expected to fall.  
But the branch he was on now was as firm as a branch could reasonably be.  He pried
the fingers of one hand off the twigs they were gripping and dried it on his robe.
Took a new, firmer grip and did the same with the other hand.  Took a deep breath.
His respect for magicians like Fandil, who went adventuring despite their ages, went
up a lot.  This adventuring stuff wasn't as easy as it looked.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #31 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lady Fern knew that her brothers Fandil and Lenpro were competent men, and that
they had each followed up what they considered an important point in the current
problem.  But she could not help feeling that they had, each of them, overlooked the
key to the problem, or at least the point which should have been dealt with FIRST:
the King.
     Whether the true king had died some time ago or was alive but under magical
control or any of several other possibilities, the important thing, as she saw it,
was to insure that command of the Andorian League did not fall into the wrong hands.
Yes, the causes of the problem, which Fandil thought he had a line on, needed to be
dealt with.  And yes, the secondary results of the problem such as intolerance of the
Aruaki, which Lenpro had gone out to tackle, did need to be dealt with, too.
     But the previous kings of the League had not made much effort to draw it
together into a coherent whole, and if the king failed, it would--almost must--fall
apart into its constituent parts.  Fratsfa, Convincia, Ardivent, and the Aruaki
Clanholds.  Raltumas... she shrugged.  That was probably lost.  Which, also, an
active king might have prevented.
     So she had done what seemed reasonable to her, and sent one of her Girls, the
Outcast Orchid, to Andor to find out what was going on.  It seemed so obvious.  No
magical scrying, no careful collating of reports from spies and chance travelers,
just... go and look.  She'd been tempted to make up a party drawn from several teams
here, because though her Girls were Good Girls, they were easily distracted.  But in
the end she had not.  Time enough to involve more people when she had some
information to work with.  Orchid had strict instructions not to become involved with
people along the way, just to go, see, and return to report what she had seen.  It
would have to be enough.


     Outcast Orchid leaned against a pillar along the Processional Way--whatever the
actual name of the avenue was, she didn't know or care--and waited for the King to
drive past in his carriage.  It had been a boring trip.  No fraternization with
anybody!  She understood why her manager had give that order, but it had been hard to
follow.  All the opportunities she'd passed by!  She let her eyes wander across the
crowd waiting for the king to appear.  There was a fine-looking man in the prime of
life who looked like he might know a thing or two.  And over there a young man, full
of energy, who might be a gladiator--he looked like he could hardly wait for the
king's carriage to come into view.  It was good to see someone who really cared; and
he had several more probable gladiators with him.  They must have come from one of
the Convincian arenas to see the king.  And that man over there, my, wasn't HE a cute
     A stirring in the crowd at the end of the block.  Not a cheer, but....  No, she
couldn't say what it was, exactly.  She wasn't good at finding words for stuff like
that.  Not exactly excitement, but greater attention.  Focus.  Probably the king's
carriage.  Or at least the head of the procession.
     Yes, here they came.  Guards.  Fine looking men, really fine.  Very serious,
practically stone-faced, but they were on duty, after all.  Then ordinary men in
fancy clothing.  Lesser members of the government, she guessed.  Some of them looked
like nobles, and some reminded her a LOT of Commission officials.  A bureaucrat
doesn't change from office to office.  More guards, looking more tense.
     "I was against this," a man beside her muttered.  "I told them from the
beginning that it would be better to keep it simple."
     She turned to look at him.  Oh, my, really cute!  Dark and gloomy, looked like a
poet.  She could have FUN with a man like that, but... she had her orders.
     "You think the parade is a mistake?"
     "That, too.  The more they bring their 'king' out in public, the more chance for
people to see that something's wrong.  But they have insisted on displaying... him.
No, it's this that's going to happen next.  I advised against it.  I did!  But they
WILL have their drama, and I, the gods forgive me, helped them set it up."  He shook
his head, looking more gloomy and romantical than ever.  "You should move away from
me.  I'm dangerous company."
     Orchid was going to ask him what he was talking about, but the carriage came
into view around the corner.  Okay, she could ask questions later.  Right now, her
most imperative command was to SEE.  To see the king, and report what she'd seen.
Accurately, which meant she had to pay attention here.  The carriage was moving
slowly, so she had plenty of time to observe it.
     The man on the rear seat, in the purple robes and the golden crown, must be the
king.  Who else could it be?  But she hadn't expected the crown, somehow.  She'd seen
Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa, and he didn't wear a crown.  She studied the king, if that
was him, closely.  Lady Fern would want details.  He didn't look... huh.  Not much of
anything.  Not interested in the city going past him, not bored by the parade, not
angry at something, not... anything.  Not particularly healthy, not actually sick.
He seemed so much a blank that it was disconcerting.
     "What's WRONG with him?"  She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until she
heard the words hanging in the air.  Too late to call them back.
     "Aside from the fact that you're looking at a golem with no more mind than a
puppet?  Not a thing.  As empty golems go, it's a fairly good one."
     "A... golem?"  She turned to look at the man beside her.  "Then what happened to
the KING?"
     He shrugged.  "Nobody who's talking knows."
     He took her arm gently and turned her back toward the parade.  "Watch this."
His voice was grim.  "Watch closely, not just the 'king', and see if you can spot the
flaws.  Someone needs to know, besides me."
     Orchid focused on the carriage again, then began to look at the people closest
around it.  The neatly arrayed ranks of guards had gotten out of step and out of line
when they turned the corner back there.  Surely guards knew how to handle corners?
But they were being slow to reorganize their ranks.  The group she'd identified as
almost certainly gladiators--half a dozen of them--surged forward.  To protect--  No!
They were ATTACKING the king!  She stood for a few seconds in stunned disbelief, then
shook herself together and took a step forward.  She had to protect--
     The grip on her arm tightened, holding her back.  "No, lady, don't throw your
life away for nothing.  That is not the king, it was never the king, and this
'assassination' was arranged by--  Better, probably, if I don't tell you.  They sniff
out guilty knowledge like pig sniffing truffles.  Take what you have seen and get out
of town as quickly as you can without attracting suspicion.  Tell people--it's
important that people know what really happened here--"
     "Come with me," she said.  "You're in danger, too, aren't you?"
     "Yes, but I put myself in the path of--"
     A scream cut off his words.  She looked back.  The words of so many spy reports
ran through her head:  Blood on a purple robe may stain.  That robe was badly
stained.  But it was the gladiator-assassins who were screaming as the guards closed
around them and cut them down.  Cut them into pieces.  The pavement was awash with
     The grip on her elbow dragged her back into the concealment of the milling
crowd, then into a side street.  "Come away, lady, while you still can."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): ZENITH of Z GLADIATORZ (? , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): GEORGE FOREMUN of ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): PAUL WEIDORFER of MEDAL OF HONOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): AMARANTH of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (?, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): CHARLES DEGLOPPER of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): ANNA BEATRICE of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): BILLY JOHNSON of 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): VAJRA VALMEJAR of SCARLET KNIGHTS (Armalias, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 610): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 554): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 257): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 453): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 211): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 506): SUPERIOR FATHER et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 309): CONCUSSION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               MOCHA MONKEY of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 620): MR FANG of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 606): SUZETTE CREPPAY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 601): LITTLE ROCKY of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 571): DAY TURNER of MEDAL OF HONOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): ROBERT DUNLAP of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
                 (turn 562): TERRINDAR of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 553): BUM of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 210): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
FRATSFA brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, FLOWER GIRLS, since SEA 
DOGS took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  If this keeps up, 
BLEAKER LEGION, you'll have to shine swords instead of use them.  A drop of 5 in the 
rankings?  FIRE INC. turned their 3-2-0 turn into a 3rd place rank in the listings 
this turn.  Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Of course, we're all 
terribly impressed to see NUMBSKULL win a fight and gain 55 points, terribly.  Tsk, 
tsk, NUMBSKULL beat MELOPHOBIA and MELOPHOBIA lost 10 points.  You're breakin' my 
heart.  And if variety is the spice of life, FRATSFA may be getting bland, as BRAIN 
TUMOUR stays top dog in the city.  Kickbacks and bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how 
else do you think some of these guys win their fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys.  
BLOOD AND GUTS!, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided 
team.  Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And it looks like WATCH OUT! 
avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  
Hmph.  RENDOR QUIL was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was 
the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to CAUSTIC 
CROCUS of FLOWER GIRLS for challenging up by 22 to RAT CATCHER.  CAUSTIC CROCUS lost 
to get 5 points of recognition.   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for FRATSFA's 
morgue.  More variety.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines through use.  
Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  Glad 
to see the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRAIN TUMOUR 3502            24  11  0   128       OTTO'S PARTS (150)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRMINSUL 3871                12   5  1   116       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 OUTCAST ORCHID 3870          18   6  1   106       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
 LENA KORIL 3495              20  24  0   101       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 NUMBSKULL 2948                4   2  0    98       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
-LORD JON SNOW 3580           10   7  3    95       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 SER ILYN PAYNE 3573          13  15  2    93       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 PULLED HAMSTRING 3554        12  17  0    92       OTTO'S PARTS (150)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SER VON DARKMOOR 3697        12   9  1    90       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 NOVERCAPHOBIA 3837            6   1  0    85       WATCH OUT! (391)
 RENDOR QUIL 3497             19  25  0    82       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 SINISTROPHOBIA 3835          12   3  0    77       WATCH OUT! (391)
 TORTURING TULIP 3974         12   6  1    76       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
 PHOBOPHOBIA 3840             10   3  0    76       WATCH OUT! (391)
 SARMASSOPHOBIA 3839           7   5  1    70       WATCH OUT! (391)
 FIRE WALL 3876               11   6  0    68       FIRE INC. (394)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZOUM LA BOUSE 4037            6   1  0    64       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 JASKER 4026                   6   3  2    62       THE ORDER (412)
 LORD DAVOS 3577              15  12  0    57       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SER GALAD 3714               13   7  0    56       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
-SER JAIME 3578                7   7  0    56       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 SPARK 3875                   12   5  0    55       FIRE INC. (394)
 LE CITOYEN 4036               4   3  0    55       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 LANKUS 4025                   7   2  0    52       THE ORDER (412)
 SALINA REES 3546             11  15  0    48       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 FAT LIP 3791                  6   9  0    48       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
-SER AERYS OAKHEART 3742       5   5  0    48       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 JOLLY ROGER 4092              3   0  0    48       SEA DOGS (421)
-HATED MAN 4021                6   3  1    44       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
 SER ALAIN STRONHAND 3747      7   8  2    42       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
-SER LORAS TYRELL 3582         7  10  1    42       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 ANASTRIANNA 4023              6   3  1    42       THE ORDER (412)
 WHIRLING ZONE 4074            3   1  0    36       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 GLOATING GARDENIA 4083        3   2  0    36       FLOWER GIRLS (189)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MELOPHOBIA 3836               4   5  0    34       WATCH OUT! (391)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SMOLDER 3908                  7   4  1    33       FIRE INC. (394)
 KRULL 4024                    4   5  0    33       THE ORDER (412)
 OLLIE QUONSHAM 3570           4  11  0    32       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 TWO 4039                      3   3  1    30       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
-RUNNY NOSE 3877               4   1  0    28       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 RAT CATCHER 4094              3   0  0    28       SEA DOGS (421)
 GANGPLANK RIDER 4091          3   0  0    26       SEA DOGS (421)
 SAVAGE SNOWBALL 4085          2   2  0    26       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
 INFERNO 3906                  7   4  0    25       FIRE INC. (394)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHADOW 4110                   1   0  0    20       THE UNDEAD II (423)
-WASTED YOUTH 4019             5   4  0    19       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
 KOZAK 4027                    4   5  1    18       THE ORDER (412)
-SLOTHFUL 4018                 4   5  0    17       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
-SER PODRICK PAYNE 4102        1   0  1    13       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
-CROSS 5 KILLA 4099            1   0  0    11       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
 SER SLAM 4115                 1   0  0    11       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 PARROT TAMER 4093             2   1  0    10       SEA DOGS (421)
 SCORCH 4104                   1   0  0    10       FIRE INC. (394)
-TUFF PO 4097                  1   0  0     8       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
 GHOUL 4106                    1   0  0     5       THE UNDEAD II (423)
 SER SLOTH 4113                1   0  0     5       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 ZOMBIE 4107                   1   0  0     5       THE UNDEAD II (423)
 CAUSTIC CROCUS 4103           1   1  0     5       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
 CROW'S NEST GUY 4095          0   3  0     3       SEA DOGS (421)
 URSILA RILVAR 4105            0   2  0     2       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 SKELETON 4108                 0   1  0     1       THE UNDEAD II (423)
 LORD SLITHER 4112             0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 SER SLIP 4111                 0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
-CRIP 6 SWAG 4100              0   1  0     1       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
 SER SLAB 4114                 0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
-DIZEE FLEX 4096               0   1  0     1       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
JILL 4084               1  2 0 BLEAKER LEGION 411   SER PODRICK PAYN 4102 257   
HARSH HAWTHORN 3960    11  7 0 FLOWER GIRLS 189     LORD JON SNOW 3580    256   
SHAST I 4109            0  1 0 THE UNDEAD II 423    PASSIONATE PUMPK      258  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Let's roll!  May that Quest be fun, tricky, full of hopes and suspense!  Can the
Queen of the Flowers be beaten?  Good luck to all the managers! -- Le Pentarque.
P.S.  But why not a little more victories for me?

That snowball stuff was intriguing... one-shot wonders?  We will see!

I almost forgot.  Ack.  I declare for the Quest.
Whirling Zone is my Champion.
Zoum la Bouse is my Scout.
Le P.

Irminsul missed the last tourney and is a little high in the rankings, but he will
also try to do his best.  That poor lad sooo much should have been an AB!

Fratsfa -- I declare the Sea Dogs to be participants in the Quest.  Gangplank Rider
will be our Champion and Parrot Tamer will be our Scout.  May the best team win! --
One Armed Bandit

Toker -- I am declaring Fire Inc. for the Quest.  Fire Wall shall be my scout. --

All -- Well, I am back for the Quest.  Hope to renew a friendly rivalry with the
ladies over at the flower shop and a few others beside.  I see Crip is here as well
so thats another flavor I am familiar with.  I am sure I will have had my fill of it
by the end of the contest, though.  Good luck to all.  Glad to be back in this fine
arena. -- Wretch

Ser Ilyn Payne -- The way you were suited to your weapon, you can come meet me on the
sands any time you want. -- Brain Tumour

Ser Von Darkmoor -- Wow!  I think I've found my new strategy. -- Pulled Hamstring

Frastfa -- The Parts are back for the Fratsfa Quest.  Numbskull will be our Champion,
while Runny Nose will be our scout. -- Crip, mgr of Otto's Parts

Toker -- Where can I send some certs in support of the Quest? -- Crip

Fellow gladiators -- I will serve as Champion for the Sea Dogs stable in the Fratsfa
Quest for the Best.  Our team's Scout will be my teammate, Parrot Tamer. -- Gangplank

All -- Death Jester here.  Anouncing to one and all that The Undead II are here to
participate in the much anticipated Frastfa III contest.  Zombie will serve as our
Scout and Skeleton will serve as Champion.  May your blades dull quickly and May your
have Sand in your eyes! -- Death Jester

Ser Aerys Oakheart -- I never did care for oaks.  Give me... cottonwood.  Soft,
lightweight wood.  Yeah, that'll do for me. -- Salina Rees
P.S.  I applied to the School of Mimes for fighter training, but they said they were
full.  At least, I think that's what they were saying.  Some hand gestures aren't
quite so obvious as words.

Gloating Gardenia -- I am deeply embarrassed.  Did you have to gloat about, well,
THAT, you know, in public?  Gods.  Closed doors, woman! -- Ollie Quonsham

Outcast Orchid -- Um, can I claim that I had prior information and lost so you could
be lucky in the story?  I mean, I wish you really well there, because, after all, it
could have been ME on the road getting into trouble.  I wouldn't have liked that. --
Lena Koril

Lord Jon Snow -- Ow!  What are you trying to do, turn back the calendar?  I *like*
summer.  A *lot*.  Me and Debby, you know, surf, sun, drinks with umbrellas in 'em.
That's the life. -- Rendor Quil

Rat Catcher -- I suppose it's a day job.  If you really want to catch rats, I can
offer you those in the cellar of the building next to our guildhouse.  Don't want 'em
coming through the party wall to, ah, party, you know? -- Ursila Rilvar

Oh, no!  Harsh Hawthorn is gone?  She will be missed. -- the Middle Way crew

Savage Snowball -- Ollie would've answered you, but he was blushing too hard. --
Tealin Sali

We salute those Fratsfans who participated in the tourney. -- Jorja and the Middle

     Some of these personals are late, sorry, but there was no one to type them

     earlier. -- the typist
     P.S.  While I realize that it may be satisfying to write your personals in the
     blood of your foes, plain old black ink is a lot easier to read.

Gloating Gardenia -- Ouch! -- Jill

Smolder -- Nice duel.  We will have to do that again sometime. -- Slothful

Anastriane -- My master taught you well. -- Wasted Youth

Stiff penalties for jaywalking in this city. -- Hated Man

Lady Fern -- You misunderstood.  TPs are boring.  They just stand there.  Patience
is one of the few virtues I possess.  I suppose I'll have to visit the Flower Shoppe
and prove it.  Should be interesting. -- The Expatriate

Toker -- When is that team story due? -- The Expatriate

Crip -- Yes, if a TP graduates or dies you can replace.  I have changed the wording
to that effect.  And yes, I will be tracking the down-challenges myself.

Lady Fern -- Thank you for your input on the contest.  It was invaluable and I have
put a 200-word minimum on the five paragraphs in the all-arena ad I did. -- Toker

The Expatriate -- Yeah, I just teamed up with Liam, Buddy Lee, and a few others for
the TW in North Fork.  Not doing the best, but it's still fun!  Yeah, I hope to see
Raven return.  New blood is what gives this game we love a future! -- Toker

Kozak -- No skills?  I should have at least taught you some, shouldn't I have? -- Ser
Alain Stronghand

Torturing Tulip -- That was very enjoyable and you are quite the student. -- Ser Ilyn

Rendor Quil -- I'm going to have to start making adjustments for your style.
Passible learns so not all bad. -- Ser Galad

Tealin Sali -- Congrats on the graduation!  I wish I could have sent you out of
Frastfa with a loss, however it seems I'm a loser this time! -- Ser Ven Darkmoor

Tusker -- Thanks.  I almost forgot to look out for people like you.  Now I remember:
avoid those like you! -- Lord Dawas

Greetings -- I am here to represent the Desolate Empire alliance in the Quest for the
Best.  I am but just one cog on the gear, we are the Desolate Knights! -- Lord

Desolate ones -- Dark Knight Toker has raised the flag!  Gather round him for his
wisdom.  Give our foes no quarter.  And yes, I am glad to be here! -- Dark Knight

To all -- Any questions, I have no answers.  I get my answer from Dark Knight Toker.
Who will be glad to have all inquiries direct to him as long as you smile when you
seek his guidance.  I would also like to state, congrats to Dark Knight Toker for
giving the earth the little ones.  Salute! -- Dark Knight Goat

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SHAST I was butchered by PASSIONATE PUMPKIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
IRMINSUL devastated PULLED HAMSTRING in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SER VON DARKMOOR handily defeated RENDOR QUIL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
NOVERCAPHOBIA vanquished SER GALAD in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
FAT LIP was overpowered by FIRE WALL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
LORD DAVOS was outwaited by ZOUM LA BOUSE in a dull 21 minute Challenge brawl.
NUMBSKULL overpowered MELOPHOBIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
TWO was overcome by SER ALAIN STRONHAND in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
WHIRLING ZONE overcame SAVAGE SNOWBALL in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
CAUSTIC CROCUS was viciously subdued by RAT CATCHER in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
PARROT TAMER was vanquished by OLLIE QUONSHAM in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BRAIN TUMOUR overpowered SER ILYN PAYNE in a exciting 4 minute one-sided Title fight.
LENA KORIL bested SARMASSOPHOBIA in a 1 minute master's conflict.
OUTCAST ORCHID subdued KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute gory mismatched match.
TORTURING TULIP overcame KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute conflict.
SINISTROPHOBIA outlasted JASKER in a popular 7 minute duel.
PHOBOPHOBIA devastated LE CITOYEN in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SALINA REES was overpowered by JOLLY ROGER in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SPARK viciously subdued KRULL in a 4 minute brutal fight.
LANKUS subdued SMOLDER in a exciting 4 minute brutal bout.
INFERNO was overpowered by ANASTRIANNA in a 1 minute bloody mismatched conflict.
GLOATING GARDENIA overpowered KOZAK in a 1 minute uneven fight.
GANGPLANK RIDER demolished SER SLIP in a 1 minute uneven bout.
CROW'S NEST GUY was vanquished by SER SLAM in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
URSILA RILVAR was defeated by ZOMBIE in a 6 minute novice's match.
GHOUL defeated LORD SLITHER in a 2 minute gory novice's duel.
SKELETON lost to SER SLOTH in a exciting 4 minute novice's fight.
SCORCH vanquished SER SLAB in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SHADOW handily defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 3 minute uneven bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         TOTAL PARRY       25 -   9 -  0      74  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -   5 -  1      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  30 -  2      59  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         WALL OF STEEL     34 -  33 -  1      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         STRIKING ATTACK   27 -  28 -  1      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  33 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  15 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         AIMED BLOW        11 -  16 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   7 -  0      30  |

Turn 258 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  5         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  3     AIMED BLOW         0 -  4         2  SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       2  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      BRAIN TUMOUR 3502          24  11  0  128 OTTO'S PARTS (150)
STRIKING ATTACK  IRMINSUL 3871              12   5  1  116 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
WALL OF STEEL    OUTCAST ORCHID 3870        18   6  1  106 FLOWER GIRLS (189)
SLASHING ATTACK  NUMBSKULL 2948              4   2  0   98 OTTO'S PARTS (150)
PARRY-STRIKE     SARMASSOPHOBIA 3839         7   5  1   70 WATCH OUT! (391)
AIMED BLOW       JASKER 4026                 6   3  2   62 THE ORDER (412)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   LANKUS 4025                 7   2  0   52 THE ORDER (412)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LENA KORIL 3495.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SER ILYN PAYNE 3573.  The ten other most popular fighters were JASKER 4026, 
3570, KRULL 4024, URSILA RILVAR 4105, and TORTURING TULIP 3974.

The least popular fighter this week was ZOUM LA BOUSE 4037.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were LORD DAVOS 3577, ZOMBIE 4107, SINISTROPHOBIA 3835, SER SLAB 
3546, and LE CITOYEN 4036.

                          SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN CLEVELAND!

Our summer FTF will be an eastern one this time, located in Cleveland, Ohio  on July 
17-19, 2009.  It will be held at the Holiday Inn in Strongsville, OH, at 15471 
Royalton Rd (440-238-8800).  Rooms are only $95.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy.  

There is a free shuttle from the airport, free parking, and free high-speed wireless 
internet in all guestrooms ($3/day in public space).  The hotel has an indoor pool, 
pool table, and hockey, and a fitness center.   The hotel is located 1/2 mile from the 
largest mall in Northeast Ohio, with indoor minigolf and pottery painting, and right 
next door to Iceland Arena, which offers open skate and skate rental.  They also have 
four bikes on property available for checkout, as the Metro parks are next door as 
well.  The rooms are blocked--ask for the "Reality Simulations" room block.  There are 
many restaurants and nightspots nearby and at the Mall, as well as a cafe in the 

The tournament information sheet will be out imminently.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to the tournament and that we will see you there!