Date   : 07/14/2009    Duedate: 08/10/2009


DM-52    TURN-259

This Weeks Top Honors


(52-3871) [13-5-1,131]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

IRMINSUL                       JOLLY ROGER
BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)          SEA DOGS (421)
(52-3871) [13-5-1,131]         (52-4092) [4-0-1,56]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SER JAIME                      SER JAIME
(52-3578) [7-8-0,56]           (52-3578) [7-8-0,56]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WATCH OUT! (391)            48
2. THE UNDEAD II (423)         32      WATCH OUT! (391)
3. FLOWER GIRLS (189)          31      Unchartered Team
4. BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)        29
5. BLEAKER LEGION (411)        28      THE UNDEAD II (423)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 6*THE UNDEAD II (423)        8   2  0 80.0   1/ 2 FLOWER GIRLS (189)        9  5 0
 2/ 2 WATCH OUT! (391)          43  19  1 69.4   2/ 1*SEA DOGS (421)            9  6 1
 3/ 1*SEA DOGS (421)            13   7  1 65.0   3/11*THE UNDEAD II (423)       8  2 0
 4/ 3 FLOWER GIRLS (189)       523 316 15 62.3   4/ 9 WATCH OUT! (391)          8  4 0
 5- 4 FIRE INC. (394)           51  31  2 62.2   5/ 4 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)     8  5 0
 6/ 5 THE ORDER (412)           29  21  5 58.0   6/ 7 BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)      7  3 2
 7/ 7 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)    112  85  5 56.9   7/ 5 OTTO'S PARTS (150)        6  4 1
 8- 8 SILVER KNIGHTS (361)      72  65  5 52.6   8- 3 FIRE INC. (394)           5  2 0
 9/10 BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)      43  40  9 51.8   9/10 THE ORDER (412)           4  6 1
10/ 9 OTTO'S PARTS (150)       294 275 14 51.7  10- 8 SILVER KNIGHTS (361)      3  7 0
11/11 BLEAKER LEGION (411)      22  26  1 45.8  11-13*DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)    2  3 0
12/12 MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)       100 123  0 44.8  12-12*FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)  2  3 0
13-14*DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)     2   3  0 40.0  13/14 BLEAKER LEGION (411)      2  8 0
14-13*FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)   2   3  0 40.0  14/ 6 MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)        2 13 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Well, it is that time of the contest when I have to mistreat that poor English
language of yours.
     Some kind managers have tried to spell my managerial alias correctly, yes, it is
Le Pentarque (not La Pentalque, or some other weirdness attack), so I will
concentrate my efforts on a presenting this Blood and Guts team, mostly known for the
massive frequentation of the nice little shop of Lady Fern.
     So, the team was chosen for the 2006 Fratsfa Quest, before the days of
Shadowspire.  I wanted to give it an old-time flavour and used the name of my very
first Aruakian (French one) team.  These guys were 10-10-10 dummies but they had the
spirit of the valiant.  Later, after some real-life crash, the team became La
Pentarchie, but stayed Blood and Guts in my heart.
     The Quest was very enjoyable, some early tourney luck helped my guys.  Lady Fern
won with a huge margin but the fight for the second spot with Crip was thrilling.
After that, 4 of the starting team went to Adm, Tonnelle had a very decent Freshmen
run, Igor Malmort a decent one, and Bob le Canadien is still fighting.  The arena
kept shrinking and with the money issue, the team became half-dormant, some of the
guys trying their luck in tourneys.
     Then Toker reappeared!  So I decided to rebuild a full team, with a simple goal:
take that trophy from the delicate hands of Lady Fern!
-- Whirling Zone showed great knack in the last tourney and will be our Champion.
-- Zoum la Bouse (check the meaning of his name!) is not exactly a wonder but has
some qualities, so he will be his sidekick Scout.
-- Irminsul was the natural leader but he should be promoted soon, so he will be only
a lineman; this guy is one my most stupid experiments and worst disappointments in
the game.  Two 21 but misplaced.
-- Two was DA meat but he somehow managed to put down a monster, and was allowed to
die in the day arena.
-- Le Citoyen is the kind of warrior you may need against some kind of warrior so he
enjoyed the last seat.

Will they be able to earn their visits to The Place (where girls are named after
flowers ;)?  We will know in a few months!  It won't be easy against Scented Girls,
Silvery wonders, immortal body parts, frightening fears, fiery menaces or salted
Thugs, at least.

Le Pentarque.

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                                     Otto's Parts

     Seems to me it was about 50 turns ago that I was struggling to come up with 
something to say for a spotlight in Fratsfa's Quest for the Best.  In that time, not
much has changed.  Brain Tumour is still around, but no longer in the Adepts, as is
Pulled Hamstring, though his 3-3 record seems to show more promise than what he has
struggled through.  From those days of yore, we also see The Flower Girls are still
around, teasing everyone they can.  Meanwhile, Blood & Guts, Silver Knights and
Bronze Knights were all fairly new to the arena.  It seems that everyone else has
come and gone.  Well, Middle Way 8 was here before the last quest but seem to have
dissappeared shortly before things began, but they've been back in full force since
     Brain Tumour, who is consistently referred to as Brain Tumor, even though he is
clearly not the same warrior, is the old hat on the team.  Well, that is if you go
purely by number of appearances on the sands.  Not the swiftest member of Otto's
various parts, but he serves a role, and is quite confortable sitting on the throne,
presumably this just keeps him from thinking hard about strategies and the like, and
he can just sit back and enjoy life.  Who will unseat this long standing stalwart of
Fratsfan strength and honour.  Certainly not I.
     Pulled Hamstring is another holdover of Otto's Parts.  A well known ball player,
old age seems to have caught up to him, he no longer enjoys sprinting the bases,
preferring instead to gimpily trot around after swatting one beyond the fences.
Problem is these days, with that tightness in the lower limbs, and Father time slowly
eroding his reflexes and vision, those trots are becoming fewer and fewer.  But
perhaps the Quest will revive his interest in our grand old game.
     While Fat Lip wasn't around at the start of the last quest, he was there at the
end.  One has to wonder about this pugilist's ambitions on the sands.  He seems to
believe that it's only fair to take a shot to the head before trying to actually win
a fight.  Problem is, the cut man can't seem to stop the bleeding when that lip gets
caught between the teeth.  Sure he does wonders up around the eyes, but have you ever
seen such swollen lips?
     Runny Nose is the newest addition to the roster of assorted parts.  My
grandfather always told me that if your Nose runs, and your Feet Smell, then you must
be built upside down.  Well, that sees to be the case with our olfactorly challenged
wonder.  Or is that simply a strategy to confuse foes.  Or is it an even simpler
strategy to sneak around in the Flower Shoppe.  Who really needs to sneak around the
shoppe anyway, I've always been able to do what I want there.
     Finally, the fifth member of the team may have caught a pony-tailed one off-
guard last turn.  Numbskull, as you can tell from his ID number, has been around for
quite a while.  Our records indicate that he's been accounted for in 8 or 9 of
Sheila's wonderful gatherings of the dead.  Let me tell you, he fits right in there,
nerve endings no longer sending signals to his brain.  Well, maybe given his
inactivity for the last little while, it might be best if knock him about before he
fully re-gains his senses.  Who knows what will happen after that.
     That wraps up our introduction to this latest quest.  Apologies for the
blandness of it all, but Otto and his parts are not known for their elloquency.

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          -----     -----     -----    Watch Out!    -----     -----     -----

     Paranoia huddled in his overstuffed chair sipping on a hot cup of spiced mead.
He loved his early morning time in front of the cozy fireplace.  Paranoia was
struggling to keep down the building excitement; he was feeling over the start of the
Fratsfa contest.  Today was the day he would officially take over the training and
management of the Watch Out! Stable.  He hard arrived a little over a month ago and
had watched their opening performance.  "Not all that bad," Paranoia muttered to
himself as he contemplated if he had asked for enough money for the upcoming
challenges.  Paranoia was sure that he had been screwed in the negotiations.  It
seemed like most everyone was out to get him.  He just knew they had saddled him with
a bunch of scrubs, which was going to ruin his credibility if he did get them to
perform well enough.  Paranoia lifted himself from the chair and began to pace back
and forth muttering to himself over all of the wretched people that convinced him to
take this job.  He was sure that they were only using him to fail so one of there pet
managers could come in and save the contest.
     Paranoia threw his mug in the air and jumped off the ground as a loud knock on
the door scared the living crap out of him.  With a loud scream that could have
easily been mistaken for a pre-teen girl falling through the ice into freezing water,
Paranoia reached out flailing to find his blanket which draped over the back of the
chair.  In a quivering mass, Paranoia hugged that worn and tattered blanket to his
heaving chest, as his mind race trying to gather control of his mounting fear.  "Who
could that be," Paranoia muttered as his eyes darted around the room.  With all the
windows blackened out and heavy cloth covering the openings, he had loss track of the
time.  It had to be his new team of warriors coming to meet him.
     Paranoia jumped to his feet.  He threw the blanket back over his chair and
hurried to the door.  "Just a minute," Paranoia yelled out as he peeked through the
tiny peep hole.  Once he had seen that it was in truth his new combatants, he started
unlocking the door.  First he unlatched the top draw bolt, and then unhooked the next
latch.  He then turned three different tumble locks, and finally lifted the cross
beam off the brackets.  Taking a quick moment to smooth out his oil slicked hair and
straighten his clothes, Paranoia eased open the reinforced plank door.
     Paranoia did a fast once over of the five warriors gathered together on his
front porch.  Although he had seen all of them fight last month, he had never seen
them without weapons and armor.  First impression was they were pretty normal looking
warriors although one was a werecat and another was a tiny snip of a girl.  What he
did notice one of them seemed to be swinging his head around looking from one warrior
to each other one with a etch look of terror on his face.  "Please come in and let's
get acquainted," Paranoia held the door back and motioned for them to enter.
     Once they were all inside, Paranoia ushered them into the large dining room and
had them all take a seat at the table.  Paranoia quickly stepped out and returned
with a tray full of fruits and large pitchers of mead and milk.  After placing the
tray upon the table, he passed out a small plate and goblet to each fighter.  "Please
help yourself to a little breakfast.  I'd also like each of you to tell me a little
about yourselves," Paranoia requested as he seated himself at the head of the table.
     The first to introduce him-self was the werecat named Novercaphobia.  After
about 20 minutes, Paranoia realized why he was named the champion for the squad.  The
only quirk that Paranoia could find with Nover was his trembling fear when the topic
of this father's newest wife.  The proud beast-man became a kitten at just the
     Sinistrophobia was the next to open his life to all those at the table.
Paranoia was quite impressed with local boy turned warrior for hire and was the
perfect choice to act as the scout for the guildhouse.  It wasn't till Paranoia
reached towards Sin with his left hand to pour him some more mead that the scout to
be fell to the floor curled in a fetal position.
     Phobophobia sent 10 minutes trying to introduce him self but was distracted by
each movement from everyone around him.  He seemed most concerned with shy away from
the stocky little dwarf.  
     "Damn, are you all messing with me?  You can't all be scared," Paranoia started
to wring his hands and look over his shoulder as if to find someone pulling a rude
prank on him.
     As if on cue the tall buxom blonde stood up and introduced her self.
"Melophobia is the name but you can just call me Mel.  You will soon find out we all
have our little weaknesses," Mel purred as she glided over behind the stocky dwarf
and started nibbling on his ear and neck. 
     As if possessed by evil spirits, the dwarf jumped on to the table swinging and
flailing his arms bellowing the death of anyone that might come near him.  "I would
like to introduce the mighty dwarven warrior Sarmassophobia," Melophobia brust into
hysterical laughter.
     To even the score Nover let loose with a deep throated baritone voice that
belted out an old Fratsa folksong.  Within seconds Melophobia had crawled under the
table and was shaking like a dog passing peach seeds.
     Sinistrophobia turned to there new boss with a huge grin and laughed.  "Welcome
to Fratsa and the Watch Out! guildhouse.  It seems someone has a sick and twisted
sense of humor put us all together.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

      Welcome to the start of the Fratsfa Quest for the Best 
3!!!  Where we will once again embark on a quest to see who will be 
proclaimed the Ultimate Victor of the Quest and the best manager 
around!!!  So I hope everyone is ready for twelve grueling rounds of 
competition!  I am going to get the list of prizes listed by next 
turn.  As of now, I am putting up ten roll-up certificates and Lady 
Fern is putting up five to add to the prizes.  As soon as the list of 
RSI sponsored prizes is given to me, they will be posted on the Duel 
2 site as well as in the next newsletter!  Good luck to all, and may 
you find Glory!

Toker, Quest 3 host

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                    Fratsfa Quest 3


     1)  One team per manager in contest!!!  Manager may run no other teams in arena
during contest.
     2)  Only one TP on your team at a time.  If it dies or graduates, you may
replace it.
     3)  You must declare one warrior as your scout.  Points will not be scored until
a scout is declared.
     4)  If you bloodfeud, you must use a different warrior each time to score the BF
points.  If a warrior is used twice, he will only be awarded the points for the win
or points subtracted for the loss.
     5)  You must declare your team, scout, and manager name in the personal ads to
be entered.
     6)  A Champion is not required (manager's choice).  Champions must be declared
on their first fight in the contest.
     7)  There will be a forty-fight minumum to qualify for prizes.  The total fights
will be sixty, and if RSI approves, it will be fifty-three out of sixty fights to get
an endurance prize.
     8)  This contest will run twelve turns!!!
     9)  Again, if your scout or champion dies or graduates, you may replace it with
a warrior from the adepts bracket or lower!
     10)  Scout and champion may not be the same warrior~

Scoring formula:
     Wins plus kills minus losses equals base score
     Base score plus variant score equals total score

Base score points:
     Win -- 1 point
     Kill -- 1 point
     Loss -- -1 point

Variant points:
     Scout wins = 2 points
     Scout loses = -2 points
     Scout dies = -3 points
     Champion wins = 3 points
     Champion loses = -3 points
     Duelmaster = 1 point
     Unchartered Recognition Leader = 1 point
     Current top team = 3 points (to be scored on third turn of contest!)
     Successful bloodfeud = 2 points
     Failed bloodfeud = -2 points
     Highest up-challenge win = 5 (as stated in newsletter)
     Largest down-challenge win = -5 (as stated in newsletter)
     Loss = -7

Twenty points will be awarded to all teams who write a five-paragraph spotlight.
Must be in by contest's third turn.  It must be five full paragraphs, no one-liners
just to get the points.  (200 word minimum!)

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Loud clashes and furious curses flew through the practice yard in the Desolate
Empire fortress.  With their numbers swelling in recent weeks, the Dark Knights and
all the warriors of the D.E. had enough training opponents to satisfy even the most
vehement of battle lusts.  There were spars between fully knighted warriors raging as
well as clumsy battles between novices.  In the center arena a fierce battle between
Lord Jon Snow and Ser Ilyn Payne held spectators in thrall as the two knights were a
blur of motion.  The skill level of the Desolate Empire's two highest ranked warriors
in the Fratsfa arena was dazzling.  The flashy style of Ser Ilyn Payne, which had
earned his reputation with the crowds as one of the favorites in the arena, was on
display,  The match of Payne and the all out attacking style of Lord Snow left
novices rethinking their futures in the arena.  Off to the left, the recently
knighted Ser Podrick Payne, scout for the Bronze Knights, squared off with Ser
Slither of the Desloate Knights, Goat's newst knights fresh out of the gates of
     On a terrace high above the action, the three founding members of the Desolate
Empire were together again after so long.  Separated with their individual agendas
for the last several years, the charter members of the D.E. were finally ready to
renew the path set so long ago.  To Wasby and Goat, the progress made by General
Toker was astonishing.  His fame across the lands of Alastari was like a rose in
bloom, the pride of Dark Knights everywhere.  Of course, the ruthlessness of the Dark
Knight Goat would open avenues and cause opportunities neither Toker nor Wasby would
have ever thought of.  All of this and more ran through the mind of Wasby the Great
as he enjoyed the moment, which was of course only the calm before the storm.  One
thing was certain in his mind, the warriors of his Bronze Knights and of the Desolate
Empire would stop at nothing short of striking fear in the hearts of their enemies.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #32 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     "I wouldn't want easy," Sunflower told the vampire.  Not strictly true, all she
wanted right now was out of this... whatever.  Pocket dimension.  But any trick that
could startle her opponent was good.  Vampires were tricky to fight, and there was no
choice here but fight or die; a vampire wouldn't take a surrender.  Well, except to
kill the loser at more leisure.  But she, Sizzling Sunflower, was going to win.
     Which raised a question.  She pondered it as she parried the vampire's dark
blade in a shower of sparks, riposted, lunged and withdrew.  In this pocket
dimension, the nature of reality was, call, it suggestible.  Intuition told her that
letting the "suggestions" get too far with her would be a bad move.  But could she
use just a little?  Use the "Sunflower" part of her arena name against a vampire who
might not be able to bear sunlight?  She had noticed when they first entered this
place that there wasn't any true sun here; the sky was a bright gray, and that was
the source of the "daylight."
     Hmm.  This vampire was strong and fast, but not particularly skilled with a
blade.  Ah, make that, apparently not skilled.  She supposed it could be a ruse.  Her
gladiator's instincts told her it was no trick:  this vampire really wasn't a
swordmaster.  Probably didn't have to be.  Until now.
     Their swords crossed again, shrieking metal and the weight of the vampire's
strike jolting down her arm, but the blade, HER blade, flashed bright as the sun, and
the sparks this time were hot and golden.  The vampire reeled back, shrieking as
loudly as the dark blade had done.
     Sunflower pressed the attack.  A slash, and the vampire shied back, not as
confident as she'd been before.  A lunge.  Further retreat, and a stumble.  Another
lunge, a swerve as the fallen vampire kicked out at her.  Drive forward, keep the
creature on the defensive.  Hamstring, that's what she wanted.  Sunflower feinted for
the torso and then drove her sword--flaring hot gold again--into the vampire's leg.
     A scream such as she never wanted to hear again, a sudden cloud of oily black
smoke, and... nothing left.  The vampire was just gone.

West of Fratsfa:

     Elosjon heaved a sigh of relief when his feet touched firm ground again, and he
didn't care if Fandil heard him or not.  He had been afraid--no, he was afraid now.
In the tree, he had been terrified.  Of falling.  Of failing.
     The old mage gripped his arm, held one hand to his mouth briefly to signal
silence, and then pulled him away from the ravine, deeper into the forest.  Higher up
the mountain.
     After several minutes of silent walking, or at least walking without speech,
Elosjon figured he could risk speech.  "What about Redbud?" he whispered.
     "We keep going," Fandil said.  "She may, probably will, be fine.  And she's
doing a necessary job so that we can go forward and do a different and even more
necessary job.  Let us not waste her efforts."
     "Right, right.  The magician at Mountain Home."  He hesitated.  "I could be
wrong about Mountain Home.  I only have the word of Herlas of Zensu and he's, well,
his reputation isn't exactly--"
     "I feel sure that you ARE correct," Fandil said.  "All my instincts tell me so.
We will find an answer up there on the mountain.  If we get there soon enough."


     Orchid stared back toward the avenue and the slaughter.  "I don't believe it!
Those gladiators were waiting to kill the king--the golem they thought was the king.
How could they do such a thing?"
     "You saw how," the man beside her said.
     "Yes, but--"
     "Gladiators come all kinds, just like ordinary people," he went on.  "Some good,
some bad, and a lot of them on the fence.  And this hasn't been a good town for a
gladiator since the arena closed.  They were probably so glad to have a job that they
didn't look into it closely."
     "You're saying someone paid them to--?"
     "Of course."  He steered her into an alley just before a troop of mounted guards
rushed past.  "Very few people, gladiators or not, are genuine anarchists to kill
what they believe is the king just for... kicks."  He paused at the other end of the
alley, looked both ways, and hurried her across another street into an overgrown
     "But they must have expected the guards, why didn't they have an escape route
     "They were most likely told the guards wouldn't be a problem.  Don't you see?"
He stopped and turned to face her.  "They were set up to kill and to die."  He shook
her a little.  "Believe it, lady!  Lord Korneth doesn't care whose death he ordered,
and you will be a target if anyone noticed and recognized you.  Even if no one saw
you at the parade--any gladiator found in Andor today will be marked for death.  You
have to get out of the city!"

Readers:  I'm using Consortium managers and gladiators here simply because they're
available.  If anybody else wants to be mixed up in this, just say the word, by
personal, email, or diplo. -- the Scribe

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 311): ZIP of Z GLADIATORZ (Mr. Z , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 623): CARMEN ELECTRA of GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS (Weasel, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 623): FLOORMAT of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 611): SEREPHIM of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 612): PAUL WIEDORFER of MEDAL OF HONOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 610): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 609): KETTELMAN of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 605): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 573): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (Sage, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 565): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 556): BINKLY of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 455): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR J3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 508): WORKS 4 EVIL EMPIRE of SUPERIOR FATHER (Manager, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 311): Z GLADIATORS (Mr. Z, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 623): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 623): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 611): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 612): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 610): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 609): ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 605): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 574): MEDAL OF HONOOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 565): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 556): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 455): MEDAL OF HONOR J3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 212): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 508): NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 311): ZIP of Z GLADIATORZ (Mr. Z, mgr.)
               (turn 310): ZINGER of Z GLADIATORS (Mr. Z, mgr.)
                           ZILCH of Z GLADIATORS (Mr. Z, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 608): GUT BUSTER of ULTRA-VIOLENT (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 604): BAINES of GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
                         MAYOR MCLAY of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 573): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (Sage, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

I'ze iz back.  Don't no wat happind 2 last turn's collum, so I wont rite much this
tyme eeder.

Good to see the Quest iz back.

Brain Tumour
Otto's Parts
Duelmaster of Fratsfa

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in FRATSFA!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Like, SEA DOGS had to be so 
embarrassed when they got kicked off #1 spot by FLOWER GIRLS!  Way to go FLOWER 
GIRLS!  I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings or anything, but MIDDLE WAY 8 really 
goofed with their 0-5-0.  The guys at THE UNDEAD II like really pulled together to 
get a 5-0-0 this turn, moving up by 8.  MVP award for LORD JON SNOW?  BRONZE KNIGHTS' 
proud of him after beating LENA KORIL and getting 25 points.  Talk about yer big time 
losers!  OUTCAST ORCHID got smashed by PULLED HAMSTRING, and lost 15 points!  And I 
was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome 
IRMINSUL.  Aren't BLOOD AND GUTS! proud.  (Oh, my.) Who was the wiseguy that said 
FRATSFA's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The Victory Tavern?  Don't look at me!  
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  BLOOD AND GUTS! was the most 
avoided team.  Is a 112-85-5 record really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors 
are WATCH OUT!?  BLOOD AND GUTS!, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get 
them to accept an invitation!  Can OTTO'S PARTS' NUMBSKULL be more popular than me?  
It was challenged the most, but is that really the same?  Speaking of challenging 28 
points above did you hear about SARMASSOPHOBIA of WATCH OUT! vs. OTTO'S PARTS' 
NUMBSKULL?  (And how was that intro!) NUMBSKULL killed SARMASSOPHOBIA, and was I 
surprised (right!).  But its a good thing NUMBSKULL could stop laughing long enough 
to give SARMASSOPHOBIA a good pounding.  Ooh!  Did GLOATING GARDENIA really know what 
she was doing when she challenged JASKER?  A 4-2-0 speaks volumes.  (Zontoni said 
that.  I don't know what it means.) GLOATING GARDENIA was so studly out there in the 
sands!  Beating JASKER and getting 26 points.  FLOWER GIRLS must be proud, for sure!  
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  It was kind of sad, seeing old LENA KORIL 
stumbling around the arena, before LORD JON SNOW finished her off.  Oh well!  What a 
bunch of heartless!  I couldn't believe how many people were snickering when 
NUMBSKULL killed SARMASSOPHOBIA.  So he had a 7-6-1, that's no excuse!  What a 
bummer!  OLLIE QUONSHAM got wasted by JOLLY ROGER!  But with a 4-12-0, I guess MIDDLE 
WAY 8 aren't too bummed.  It was so gross when NUMBSKULL of OTTO'S PARTS killed 
SARMASSOPHOBIA.  They should start making warriors use safer weapons, or more 
shields, or something...  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to 
hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I gotta leave.  FRATSFA is like such a dump, and you guys 
smell too much!  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRMINSUL 3871                13   5  1   131       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LORD JON SNOW 3580           11   7  4   120       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 BRAIN TUMOUR 3502            24  12  0   112       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 NUMBSKULL 2948                5   2  1   112       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 PULLED HAMSTRING 3554        13  17  0   110       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 NOVERCAPHOBIA 3837            7   1  0    96       WATCH OUT! (391)
-SER ILYN PAYNE 3573          13  15  2    93       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 OUTCAST ORCHID 3870          18   7  1    91       FLOWER GIRLS (189)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SER VON DARKMOOR 3697        12   9  1    90       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 PHOBOPHOBIA 3840             11   3  0    89       WATCH OUT! (391)
 SINISTROPHOBIA 3835          13   3  0    85       WATCH OUT! (391)
 RENDOR QUIL 3497             19  26  0    83       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 TORTURING TULIP 3974         12   7  1    77       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-FIRE WALL 3876               11   6  0    68       FIRE INC. (394)
 ZOUM LA BOUSE 4037            7   1  0    67       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LANKUS 4025                   8   2  1    66       THE ORDER (412)
 GLOATING GARDENIA 4083        4   2  0    62       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-LORD DAVOS 3577              15  12  0    57       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SER GALAD 3714               13   7  0    56       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 SER JAIME 3578                7   8  0    56       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 JOLLY ROGER 4092              4   0  1    56       SEA DOGS (421)
-SPARK 3875                   12   5  0    55       FIRE INC. (394)
 SER AERYS OAKHEART 3742       6   5  0    54       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 ANASTRIANNA 4023              7   3  1    52       THE ORDER (412)
 MELOPHOBIA 3836               5   5  0    52       WATCH OUT! (391)
 SALINA REES 3546             11  16  0    49       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
 HATED MAN 4021                7   3  1    49       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
-SER ALAIN STRONHAND 3747      7   8  2    42       SILVER KNIGHTS (361)
 JASKER 4026                   6   4  2    40       THE ORDER (412)
 FAT LIP 3791                  6  10  0    40       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 TWO 4039                      4   3  1    40       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
 WHIRLING ZONE 4074            3   2  0    34       BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SER LORAS TYRELL 3582         7  11  1    33       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
-SMOLDER 3908                  7   4  1    33       FIRE INC. (394)
 WASTED YOUTH 4019             6   4  0    30       BLEAKER LEGION (411)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RUNNY NOSE 3877               4   1  0    28       OTTO'S PARTS (150)
 KRULL 4024                    4   6  0    26       THE ORDER (412)
-SAVAGE SNOWBALL 4085          2   2  0    26       FLOWER GIRLS (189)
-INFERNO 3906                  7   4  0    25       FIRE INC. (394)
 CAUSTIC CROCUS 4103           2   1  0    24       FLOWER GIRLS (189)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHADOW 4110                   2   0  0    22       THE UNDEAD II (423)
 SER PODRICK PAYNE 4102        2   0  1    20       BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
 SLOTHFUL 4018                 4   6  0    18       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
 GANGPLANK RIDER 4091          3   1  0    18       SEA DOGS (421)
 RAT CATCHER 4094              3   1  0    14       SEA DOGS (421)
 SKELETON 4108                 1   1  0    13       THE UNDEAD II (423)
-SER SLAM 4115                 1   0  0    11       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 WRAITH 4128                   1   0  0    11       THE UNDEAD II (423)
-CROSS 5 KILLA 4099            1   0  0    11       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
 GHOUL 4106                    2   0  0    10       THE UNDEAD II (423)
-SCORCH 4104                   1   0  0    10       FIRE INC. (394)
 CROW'S NEST GUY 4095          1   3  0     9       SEA DOGS (421)
 PARROT TAMER 4093             2   2  0     8       SEA DOGS (421)
-TUFF PO 4097                  1   0  0     8       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
 ZOMBIE 4107                   2   0  0     7       THE UNDEAD II (423)
-SER SLOTH 4113                1   0  0     5       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 URSILA RILVAR 4105            0   3  0     3       MIDDLE WAY 8 (351)
-LORD SLITHER 4112             0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
 GRUNTLE 4126                  0   1  0     1       BLEAKER LEGION (411)
-CRIP 6 SWAG 4100              0   1  0     1       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)
-SER SLAB 4114                 0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
-SER SLIP 4111                 0   1  0     1       DESOLATE KNIGHTS (424)
-DIZEE FLEX 4096               0   1  0     1       FIVEDEUCE GANGSTAS (422)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
JILL 4084               1  2 0 BLEAKER LEGION 411   SER PODRICK PAYN 4102 257   
WASTE 4127              0  1 0 BLEAKER LEGION 411   NAPOLEON              259  NONE
LE CITOYEN 4036         4  4 0 BLOOD AND GUTS! 365  LANKUS 4025           259   
HARSH HAWTHORN 3960    11  7 0 FLOWER GIRLS 189     LORD JON SNOW 3580    256   
LENA KORIL 3495        20 25 0 MIDDLE WAY 8 351     LORD JON SNOW 3580    259   
OLLIE QUONSHAM 3570     4 12 0 MIDDLE WAY 8 351     JOLLY ROGER 4092      259   
KOZAK 4027              4  6 1 THE ORDER 412        DEFLOWERED FERN       259  NONE
SARMASSOPHOBIA 3839     7  6 1 WATCH OUT! 391       NUMBSKULL 2948        259   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Smart move, Cripster!  A Scout cannot die if he isn't run!  Superior strategy.  And
congrats on Brain Tumour, you Northern Huckster!  (wink) -- Lady Fern
P.S.  Nice start to the Quest!

Whirling Zone -- You can take it and you can dish it out.  I like that in a
Studmuffin.  Let's try it again with me on top.  (giggle) -- Savage Snowball

Where were our personals last round?  Don't you all hate it when Hal gets "hungry"?
Perhaps his hunger would be better fed at The Flower Shoppe? -- Lady Fern

     That would be, ah, very interesting....

Rat Catcher -- VERY well done.  I loved that big bat of yours.  (wink) -- Caustic

Weather-beaten man, you sly fox hunk, you, OAB!  Your favorites await you at The
Flower Shoppe.  They have a big grin on their faces and want to put one on yours.
(wink) -- Lady Fern

Kung-Fu Master -- We were just probably too much for you to handle all at once.
Sometimes one's eyes are bigger than one's mouth. -- Outcast Orchid and Torturing

Lord Jon Snow -- You have not been forgotten. -- The Flower Girls

Expatriate -- Boring?  Boring?!  You guys are always in such a hurry.  (wink) -- Lady

Kozak -- The early bird gets the worm!  But I shall have to admit it was a VERY BIG
worm.  (wink) -- Gloating Gardenia

Hum... that challenge on Hamstring was not very glorious, but I don't want to catch a
tumour, so I will have to challenge one of his teammates! -- Irminsul, the coward.

That Snowball is refreshing, but I felt something hard inside...? -- Whirling Zone

Nice opening!  One turn with the Flower Girls not yet leading!  But these Girls are
so nice to follow... anyway, we will end at their place to celebrate, cheer or get
some comfort... -- Le Pentarque.

All -- I declare the Silver Knights for the Quest! -- Toker

Wasby -- Good luck, brother, let's see what we can do.  I think it will be hard with
most of my warriors up top, but we will see. -- Toker
P.S.  I think you will see both of the Bloodfeuds this turn!!!

Paranoia -- Welcome to Fratsfa and the Quest. -- Toker, Quest host

O.A.B. -- I would wish you luck, but I don't think you will need it. -- Toker

All -- My team spotlight will run next turn as I am faxing in my turn today and don't
have time to pile it up on the editor. -- Toker

     Given that this is the Just-Before-the-Tourney push, the Editor thanks you.
     P.S.  You could do your half-blind typist a favor and set the type size to
     twelve, if you're using a computer.

All -- To have order, one must create chaos.  The Order is here to cause chaos in the
Quest.  The very deadly Jasher will serve as our scout and the lucious yet lethal
Anastriana will be our champion.  Let the chaos begin! -- Torak, The Order

All -- I declare the Bronze Knights for the Quest for the Best.  Ser Podrick Payne
(4102) will serve as scout.  With no knight more valuable than the next, we will not
declare a champion.  With six of the top ten finishers from the last quest (including
the top three) declaring so far, it promises to be a free for all once again, just
the way I like it. -- Wasby the Great, Bronze Knights

Goat -- I knew I smelled something funny in the Desolate Empire stronghold!  Good to
have you, creep!  Let's go get 'em. -- Wasby

Lady Fern -- I offer my word and honor as a knight that I did not mean for things to
go so far between Harsh Hawthorn and me.  I spent the requisite three days in vigil
and sat out of training for a week in her memory.  I will be in the arena awaiting
your bloodfeud which I can understand as always.  Salute. -- Lord Jon Snow

Expatriate -- Sorry, but Ser Podrick Payne doesn't speak much.  Just knighted and
all, plus he's shy by nature, so I'll speak for him.  He just doesn't know his own
strength, being slightly retarded.  But on the bright side, it does make him
entertaining! -- Wasby the Great

Toker -- DE stand up!  Do it for the Ancient Creep!  A toast to the Dark Knights.
May our enemies cower in fear from the might of the sword arm of every warrior
representing the Desolate Empire.  The last thing every night and the first thing
every morning warriors across the land shall think of will be the army of Dark
Knights sweeping over the land.  To arms and to victory! -- El Wasbinus

Fair warning:  We've been pulled off maintenance and should go inactive after this
turn.  Don't waste challenges on us. -- the Middle Way

Ser Von Darkmoor -- I never did care for guys like you.  LOOMING over me. -- Rendor

Parrot Tamer -- What I don't see is why?  Sure, if you have to have a parrot around,
better a tame one than otherwise, but better still not to have a parrot at all. --
Ollie Quonsham
P.S.  I like life to be quiet.

Sarmassophobia -- Uneven matches will do that to you. -- Lena Koril
P.S.  Is there a phobia for uneven matches?  Aside from thanatophobia.

Jolly Roger -- The steward who does up the fight reports really missed a good bet in
not having you laugh at the end. -- Salina Rees

Zombie -- Huh, you don't LOOK like a zombie, and you don't SMELL like one, but you
surely do FIGHT like a zombie. -- Ursila Rilvar

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KOZAK was dealt death by DEFLOWERED FERN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
WASTE was viciously butchered by NAPOLEON in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
SLOTHFUL was overcome by SER PODRICK PAYNE in a popular 3 minute Bloodfeud match.
PULLED HAMSTRING viciously subdued OUTCAST ORCHID in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
LORD JON SNOW killed LENA KORIL in a 2 minute gruesome master's Challenge competition.
SARMASSOPHOBIA was assassinated by NUMBSKULL in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
PHOBOPHOBIA devastated RENDOR QUIL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
GLOATING GARDENIA handily defeated JASKER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
MELOPHOBIA vanquished FAT LIP in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SER LORAS TYRELL was vanquished by ANASTRIANNA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
WHIRLING ZONE was defeated by HATED MAN in a 2 minute Challenge match.
SER AERYS OAKHEART viciously subdued SALINA REES in a popular 3 minute Challenge bout.
TWO savagely defeated KRULL in a crowd pleasing 2 minute bloody Challenge competition.
CAUSTIC CROCUS subdued RAT CATCHER in a popular 4 minute amateur's Challenge match.
BRAIN TUMOUR was overcome by IRMINSUL in a 5 minute veteran's Title conflict.
SINISTROPHOBIA defeated TORTURING TULIP in a action packed 6 minute struggle.
NOVERCAPHOBIA handily defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
ZOUM LA BOUSE luckily beat SER JAIME in a exciting 9 minute brutal bout.
LE CITOYEN was executed by LANKUS in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
JOLLY ROGER butchered OLLIE QUONSHAM in a popular 1 minute one-sided contest.
GANGPLANK RIDER lost to WASTED YOUTH in a 1 minute match.
PARROT TAMER was beaten by WRAITH in a 2 minute beginner's fray.
CROW'S NEST GUY overcame URSILA RILVAR in a 2 minute novice's contest.
GHOUL subdued GRUNTLE in a 3 minute novice's fight.
ZOMBIE outwaited SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a dull 7 minute novice's match.
SKELETON overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SHADOW won victory over FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute beginner's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         TOTAL PARRY       29 -  10 -  0      74  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -   6 -  1      65  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         LUNGING ATTACK    44 -  29 -  4      60  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         STRIKING ATTACK   29 -  30 -  1      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  14 -  1      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         WALL OF STEEL     33 -  37 -  0      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   4 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    24 -  33 -  1      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         AIMED BLOW        12 -  17 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   8 -  0      20  |

Turn 259 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  2         3  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  5         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  2     AIMED BLOW         1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  IRMINSUL 3871              13   5  1  131 BLOOD AND GUTS! (365)
LUNGING ATTACK   LORD JON SNOW 3580         11   7  4  120 BRONZE KNIGHTS (362)
TOTAL PARRY      BRAIN TUMOUR 3502          24  12  0  112 OTTO'S PARTS (150)
SLASHING ATTACK  NUMBSKULL 2948              5   2  1  112 OTTO'S PARTS (150)
WALL OF STEEL    OUTCAST ORCHID 3870        18   7  1   91 FLOWER GIRLS (189)
BASHING ATTACK   LANKUS 4025                 8   2  1   66 THE ORDER (412)
AIMED BLOW       JASKER 4026                 6   4  2   40 THE ORDER (412)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SER JAIME 3578.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SER JAIME 3578.  The ten other most popular fighters were IRMINSUL 3871, PULLED 
CATCHER 4094, HATED MAN 4021, GHOUL 4106, and LORD JON SNOW 3580.

The least popular fighter this week was ZOMBIE 4107.  The other ten least popular 
4110, and GRUNTLE 4126.