Date   : 03/11/2005    Duedate: 04/07/2005


DM-54    TURN-192

This Weeks Top Honors


(54-2541) [14-4-2,120]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

USELESS TOOLS (219)            
(54-2541) [14-4-2,120]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

USELESS TOOLS (219)            EYE OF THE STORM (221)
(54-2541) [14-4-2,120]         (54-2069) [7-7-2,60]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. OF WOLF AND MAN (296)       68
2. USELESS TOOLS (219)         42      USELESS TOOLS (219)
3. EYE OF THE STORM (221)      34      Unchartered Team
4. JANIX (298)                 19
5. BATTLE BEASTS 2 (297)       19      OF WOLF AND MAN (296)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*OF WOLF AND MAN (296)      4   1  0 80.0   1/ 1 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)  12  3 0
 2/ 0 USELESS TOOLS (219)      174  81  6 68.2   2/ 2 EYE OF THE STORM (221)    5  5 0
 3/ 1 EYE OF THE STORM (221)    37  30  5 55.2   3/ 0*OF WOLF AND MAN (296)     4  1 0
 4/ 2 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)  152 147  6 50.8   4/ 0 USELESS TOOLS (219)       3  0 1
 5/ 0 THE ABYSMALS (270)        26  40  4 39.4   5/ 0 THE ABYSMALS (270)        1  4 0
 6/ 0*BATTLE BEASTS 2 (297)      0   3  0  0.0   6/ 0*BATTLE BEASTS 2 (297)     0  3 0
 7/ 0*JANIX (298)                0   3  0  0.0   7/ 0*JANIX (298)               0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Darque Tale #3 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the Spirit Land:

     Ghost Dancer followed Uncle Wolf out of the circle, wrinkling his nose at the 
sharp mustiness of the ferns crushed under his feet with every step.  He was pretty 
sure that if he sneezed, he would annoy the old shaman, and given Wolf's mood, he 
wanted to avoid that.  He glanced back over his shoulder.  The circle of pwer that 
had brought them here was a structure of ochre light.  It reminded him of a gazebo he 
had seen on one of the Moryan lord's estates.  As he watched, it faded and winked 
out, leaving them with nothing but ferns in all directions.  It would be very easy to 
get lost here.
     Easy, but not necessary.  He looked at the Spirit Land through a shaman's eyes 
and saw more than ferns.  There were places of power here, and they showed--when you 
were close enough--as pillars of light.  And even when you weren't close enough to a 
given power spot to see it, there were the light-lines.  A web of lines, some bright 
and some dim, that linked the power places, the gates, and other locations he didn't 
understand.  If you had some experience, you could read the web of light-lines as a 
map and follow them wherever you wanted to go.  The circle they'd come through was 
such a point of light, though fading now.  But a strand of energy stretched out from 
it into the murky distance.  That beam was ochre also, but mottled with orange and 
brown, and lumpy, as Ghost Dancer had never seen before.  It wasn't very bright.  It 
made him uneasy.
     He looked at Uncle Wolf.  The old man was turning slowly in place, scanning the 
horizon.  "Is this our guide?" Ghost Dancer asked.
     Wolf glanced at the dirty-looking trail of light.  "Yes."  He shouldered his 
pack.  "And we'd better be quick about it.  Once the sigil leaves the Spirit Land, it 
will be harder to track."

     Ghost Dancer stopped when Uncle Wolf did, and lowered his pack to the ground as 
Uncle Wolf did.  There was no tiredness in the Spirit Land, just as there was no 
hunger and thirst.  But their bodies were still living bodies, and if they'd worked 
so hard in the real world, they would be tired.  Probably hungry and thirsty, too, 
but that was a different problem.  If the old shaman said that stopping to "rest" 
would help them keep on, then Ghost Dancer would do it.  But he would rather have 
kept moving till they got to... wherever they were going.  He wanted to be DONE with 
the Spirit Land for a while.  There was something about it this time that was 
different, even if he couldn't put his finger on the difference.  Not that it was 
bothering Wolf.  Nothing bothered the old shaman.  There were times, this was one of 
them, when Ghost Dancer found it impossible to imagine that his mentor had ever been 
a young man, or uncertain, or afraid.  It made him hard to live up to.
     "I'm a little worried about Morya," Ghost Dancer said.  "You mentioned 
'dimensional disturbances' as maybe happening there because of this, because of 
whatever is going on with the Arcanum and the sigil and everything.  What if no one 
there knows how to handle...?"
     "I left instructions with Young Joan," the manager said.  "And Amelia and Billy 
Lilly will be coming to stand by there.  Morya will be fine.  And if it isn't fine, 
there wouldn't be much we could do anyway."
     Ghost Dancer was surprised to hear the names of his teammates who had graduated.  
It had been a long time ago.  He'd forgotten.  And what could they do?  But Uncle 
Wolf's manner was... firm.  The old man's body language said that he didn't want to 
hear questions.
     Wolf stood.  "Time to go--"
     The still air of the Spirit Land swirled, sucking up a column of dust in front 
of them, then calmed.  The dust condensed into two forms.  They were roughly human-
shaped, but one had the head of a dog, the other a bull's head.  They wore loose 
pants and belted jackets of natural-colored wool, faintly tan, and they held 
     The bull said, "It is too much.  It is more than enough.  We will not have the 
Spirit Land treated as a hallway between one place and another place.  It is without 
     Wolf's eyebrows came down in a scowl.  "I have the proper passwords to enter.  I 
am an accredited shaman.  What I choose to do here or elsewhere is my own concern."
     "It isn't you, not especially," the dog said.  (Ghost Dancer expected to see it 
wag a tail.)  "Others do it who are not shamans.  They have no appreciation.  They 
don't even understand what the Spirit Land IS.  It must be stopped."
     "And you must set an example," the bull added.
     Wolf looked around elaborately.  "An example for whom?  Ghost Dancer?  I assure 
you that he understands the purpose and the protocols of the Spirit Land."
     "There was another."  The bull indicated the fading strand of light they were 
following.  "That one, a time since.  He had no courtesy, only force.  He challenged 
the Rules.  He caused three of our number to be dissipated.  And he was only the 
latest of many.  It must stop.  If you must travel from one place to another within 
your own realm, then do it THERE."
     The old shaman nodded.  "That is a reasonable request.  But I must catch the one 
who left that trail, and if he is in the Spirit Land, then I must pursue him here."
     "He is not here anymore," the dog said.  "The Red Wizard sucked him out.  Near 
the Iron Bones, that was."
     "Iron Bones.  The necropolis near Trocar.  My thanks for that news.  And the Red 
Wizard."  Wolf sighed, looking older than Ghost Dancer had ever seen.  "I could wish 
not to deal with a Red Wizard just now, but if I must, I must."  He lifted his pack.  
"May we go to Iron Bones through this land?"
     "No.  You can see it, you have the eyes for that."  The dog sounded 
disapproving.  "The matrix has been distorted.  We have closed that area until it can 
be realigned.  You must go on your own ground."  It pointed off to the side.  "You 
can exit there."
     Wolf looked, and sighed again.  "Rocanis is a long way from Trocar.  The man I 
seek may well be gone from there by the time we can reach--"
     "You cannot go through our Spirit Land," the bull said.  "No."
     "The man you seek said that he was going as far as Dead Trees," the dog added.  
"If you miss him at Iron Bones, you can look for him there."
     "Dead Trees?  All the way to Xochithlan.  Damn.  Very well, so be it."  Wolf 
gestured for Ghost Dancer to head toward the familiar line of pillars that marked the 
Spirit Ridge gate from this side.  He inclined his head toward the two creatures; it 
was almost a bow.  "Good fortune attend your efforts."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): DESTINY of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): NELLISTHA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 521): SUNBURN of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 517): SERILIA of BLADES OF MIST (Lord Andarus, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 516): JOHN TYLER of I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 520): SATAN CLAUS of HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 517): GOKU of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): QUIFF of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): BULMA of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): RONALD REAGAN of SONS OF SATAN (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 467): DARK TYPHLOSION of FIRE DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 454): CRIX BREMOORE of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): HANNAH of AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): DAROSHTAN of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 352): HELL STORM of DEVIL'S MAYHEM (Buddy Lee, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): ORPHAN of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 395): WHIRLING WORD of 4-LETTER WORDS from CAER (TUM, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 521): OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 517): LOTHLORIEN (Mithrandir, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 516): I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 520): HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 517): UNDER JOLLY ROGER (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave the Silent, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 COSMOWORLD (turn 476): HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 467): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 205): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 454): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave is Silent here too, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 352): THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 395): ODD SQUAD, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): SWALLOWTAIL of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): NELLISTHA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 516): DREAMER of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): QUIFF of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
                           SAVARE of DARK CREATION (Herbert Philip Lovecraft West)
                           LADY DIVAN of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): CORAL BEAUTY of BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
                            ASSUR of ARROGANCE (A-Sop, mgr.)
                (turn 503): LE PAIN DLG of PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): RONALD REAGAN of SONS OF SATAN (Damion, mgr.)
               (turn 501): POISON BEAK (21-5827) CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
 DM  36 COSMOWORLD (turn 475): KERRY BEAR of BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
                   KILL'EM KREPP of ANARKYSTS (Iver, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 204): HOMEY CIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 453): RONALD MCDONALD of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): HANNAH of AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 155): CANNONBALL of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     "The Collector"?  Collector of what?  Bruises?  Bills?  Rent?  Why is this small 
and hairy person making a try for the title of Duel2Dude of Trocar?  Does he think 
anybody will let him HAVE it?  As if!


                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt TROCAR will ever be the same.  On their very first turn, OF WOLF AND MAN had 
a 4-1-0, and with this kind of luck or skill, should do well.  Welcome to TROCAR.  
And let's see, FACELESS MAN fought MAGE'S APPRENTICE and gained 20 points and 
contributed to OF WOLF AND MAN's 4-1-0.  WIMPERETTA has lost to WASTELANDER, falling 
15 points, while helping make TRADERS OF TROCAR a 3-2-0 turn.  Somebody's not going 
to like this, (then again, somebody will), but our Duelmaster, DAROSHTAN, has died, 
and NO-STICK TAPE has killed him.  By the way, was that our Duelmaster that I saw 
last night, cramped under the table at The Welcome Wench?   
     The crowd's roar, the smell of iron and leather, mixed with sweat, what more 
could a warrior ask of life?  Well, besides that.  Well, sports fans, take notice 
that WIMPERETTA from TRADERS OF TROCAR was TROCAR's most challenged warrior this 
     The Dark Arena is for those who cannot win, not who cannot lose with grace.  
Dignity in life or death is the warrior's creed.  We'd like to remind certain teams 
not to rob the graves of their enemies.  You know who you are; and it's considered 
     Remember, blood on the purple robe does not change it from a purple robe.  Dare 
to fight bravely.  Well, I'm burning daylight here in TROCAR and I've a long road 
ahead of me.  Happy Trails.  Until you see my quill in TROCAR again, farewell-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NO-STICK TAPE 2541           14   4  2   120       USELESS TOOLS (219)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-A.O. HELL 2523               14   5  1   121       USELESS TOOLS (219)
-RUBBER BULLET 2503           18   1  0   120       USELESS TOOLS (219)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BATTLEBLADE 2071              9   4  0    86       EYE OF THE STORM (221)
 MOUSETRAP 2521               15   6  1    72       USELESS TOOLS (219)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WASTELANDER 2134              7   1  1    66       EYE OF THE STORM (221)
 CHAOS WARRIOR 2069            7   7  2    60       EYE OF THE STORM (221)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WIMPERETTA 2655              13   8  0    51       TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
 BASTINADO 2563                6   9  0    42       THE ABYSMALS (270)
 VIRET 2727                    6   4  0    41       TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
 DEMIMONDE 2561                6   6  2    39       THE ABYSMALS (270)
 PALLINEA 2735                 4   0  0    37       TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARABESQUE 2557                5  11  2    32       THE ABYSMALS (270)
 DOOMRUNNER 2070               5   9  1    25       EYE OF THE STORM (221)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKORINDELLE 2742              2   0  0    22       TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
 ARE YOU READY? 2757           1   0  0    20       OF WOLF AND MAN (296)
 FACELESS MAN 2753             1   0  0    20       OF WOLF AND MAN (296)
 YAHOO WAHOO 2733              1   0  0    19       USELESS TOOLS (219)
 HIGHER 2755                   1   0  0    14       OF WOLF AND MAN (296)
 NEVER DIE 2756                1   0  0    13       OF WOLF AND MAN (296)
 KRYMSYN 2758                  1   0  0     5       EYE OF THE STORM (221)
 HAUBERK 2564                  0   2  0     2       THE ABYSMALS (270)
 DRAGONFLY 2696                0   1  0     1       THE ABYSMALS (270)
 WRONG WAY 2754                0   1  0     1       OF WOLF AND MAN (296)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DA3 2762               0  1 0 BATTLE BEASTS 2 297   MAINAKHA-TE ASSASS 22 192 NONE    
DA2 2763               0  1 0 BATTLE BEASTS 2 297   RIRORNI DESERTER 18   192 NONE    
DA 1 2760              0  1 0 BATTLE BEASTS 2 297   JENNE THE KNIFE 19    192 NONE    
OCAR 2767              0  1 0 JANIX 298             CONJURED DEMON 26     192 NONE    
PITTHEUS 2768          0  1 0 JANIX 298             CONJURED DEMON 26     192 NONE    
YRUN 2764              0  1 0 JANIX 298             CONJURED DEMON 26     192 NONE    
KATRINE 2622           5  5 0 KATHOUSE 278          CHAOS WARRIOR 2069    189         
DAROSHTAN 2602        13 13 0 TRADERS OF TROCAR 252 NO-STICK TAPE 2541    192         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- Whoops, don't worry.  Eye of the Storm was a bit adrift (slow, slow mail) and 
he also forgot the team's payroll.  We are here to stay for as long as you do.

Daroshtan -- Wow!  You're the DM.  Gimme a shot.  I know I can beat you. -- 

Wimperetta -- Chew on the Elf (heh, heh). -- Waste

Viret -- You just got lucky. -- Doom

Kat -- Real sorry.  He's been overzealous recently.  You know how 6 KD is. -- 
Blackstorm (EOTS)

Kat -- Mama gone to DA see replacement. -- Yohann

All, teams, they are a'comin'.  Watch for "Hold That Tiger".... -- Vet

Chaos Warrior -- Definitely chaotic.  You're a bloodless golem, which is, I must tell 
you, the unkindest cut of all!  I was desperately hungry for blood, I successfully 
subdued you, and what did I get for it?  Coal oil!  Eyuck! -- Wimperetta

A cult member?  Is it an interesting cult?  The wretch won't talk to me!  I can't 
even beat a few details out of him.  How can he be so close-mouthed?  What if I want 
to JOIN his stupid cult?  I hope whatever peculiar godlet he worships EATS him. -- 

El Gato -- Daroshtan says you're an incipient were-cat.  So what?  Those Ratani are 
so biased about that!  After all, some were-cats are decent people.  And even the 
ones that aren't, such as my teammate Viret, pretend well.  And besides, if being 
Ratani makes you an incipient were-cat, where does that leave HIM, eh?  HE is Ratani, 
after all. -- Pallinea

The Mage's Apprentice seems a bit of a weed for the arena.  Is he being punished, and 
if so, why do *I* have to do it? -- Skorindelle
P.S.  Oh, my!  I just checked my psychological profile, and I find that I'm terribly 
charismatic, attractive, and cool!  How satisfying that is.

Blackstorm -- Your attitude does you credit, but we seldom bloodfeud.  Deaths happen, 
and that's the end of it. -- Nick, Traders of Trocar

Battleblade -- The day Nick lets us issue a challenge will be a cold one in Tahiti, 
but we won't avoid.  Come and get it. -- Daroshtan

Wastelander -- We of the Aruaki blood do not prefer to be called "magical creations."  
At least, that's what my mama told me.  And in truth, since we now reproduce in the 
natural way, we feel ourselves to be removed from that distasteful origin. -- Viret
P.S.  It would appear that there IS a handicap involved, however.  I understand that 
up in the Clanhold, the magical elements of the Aruaki are being, er, exploited 

Player beind Battleblade -- I take the races the Commission chooses (except that I've 
gotten really tired of 6'4 dwarves and 5'7 giants and routinely get THEM changed), 
and I role play them as seems appropriate.  And let's face it, neither race is likely 
to be really friendly with elves in general.  Individual elves, maybe, but not at 
first sight.  Also, I invoke the traditional rivalry between Trocar and elven 
Xochithlan.  Looks like we might have the makings of some good role-play here.  Let's 
go for it! -- the player behind the Traders of Trocar
P.S.  Nick in Delarquan arenas, Leeta in Andorian arenas, Jorja and in a few cases 
Uncle Wolf in Free Blades, Li Dan in Lirith Kai.  I've gone inactive in North Fork, 
but have recently entered Arkers; both of those are Middle Way teams.
P.P.S.  And I'm always ready for role-play in the personals, and maybe even a 
spotlight or two.

Battleblade -- "Not so bad" in what sense?  Your blood tastes odd. -- Wimperetta

Wastelander -- I have heard that we can become inured to garlic by working our way up 
from chives through leeks and onions.  I may give that a try. -- Wimperetta

Katzen Jammer -- That had to hurt.  With the sword jammed in the behind and all. -- 

Wimperetta -- Huh??  I forgot the garlic, but brought a halbard?  Did you hex me or 
something? -- CW

Kat Ching -- I must be reaaallll lucky. -- Wastelander

Kat Chi -- No chinks in your armor.  Thanks for making me run around for nuthin. -- 

All -- No sense in giving Mama's stats, but her replacement was a slight better.  
Meet Crymsyn, a self-appointed vampire hunter.  Now why would he come here of all 
places? -- Blackstorm

Daroshtan -- Me and CW doubled up on you this turn just in case you're avoiding me. 
-- The Elf

Readers of Trocar -- I'm pressed for time this week, what with being Temp Ed in the 
absence of Our Editor (gone on vacation, the slacker!) and won't get something 
special written this time.  I'll make it up to you next time (I hope).  Remember: 
coming soon to a newsletter near you, Crazy Doings in Trocar! -- the Scribe
P.S.  Well, maybe not crazy, but exciting.

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DA3 was butchered by MAINAKHA-TE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
OCAR was dispatched by CONJURED DEMON in a 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
PITTHEUS was luckily killed by  CONJURED DEMON in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
YRUN was barely slain by CONJURED DEMON in a 2 minute Dark Arena contest.
DA2 was slain by RIRORNI DESERTER in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DA 1 was butchered by JENNE THE KNIFE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena brawl.
WASTELANDER overpowered WIMPERETTA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
DOOMRUNNER was devastated by VIRET in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge competition.
DAROSHTAN was easily killed by NO-STICK TAPE in a 1 minute uneven Title melee.
MOUSETRAP unbelievably bested CHAOS WARRIOR in a popular 9 minute gruesome duel.
BATTLEBLADE vanquished WARRIOR-MAGE in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.
DEMIMONDE was handily defeated by RIRORNI SLAVER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PALLINEA demolished ARABESQUE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched match.
BASTINADO devastated AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
SKORINDELLE viciously subdued WRONG WAY in a 3 minute bloody amateur's bout.
HAUBERK was defeated by YAHOO WAHOO in a tiring 5 minute duel.
KRYMSYN bested DRAGONFLY in a 1 minute beginner's duel.
NEVER DIE overpowered TROCARAN DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
HIGHER unbelievably bested MAGE'S APPRENTICE in a 6 minute novice's fight.
FACELESS MAN demolished MAGE'S APPRENTICE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ARE YOU READY? overpowered MAGE'S APPRENTICE in a 1 minute mismatched fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   5 -  0      72  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         WALL OF STEEL      9 -   4 -  0      69  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   6 -  0      65  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   6 -  0      60  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  19 -  4      56  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         AIMED BLOW        13 -  11 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   3 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     6 -   6 -  0      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 192 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         2 -  5         3  AIMED BLOW     
TOTAL PARRY        3 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  NO-STICK TAPE 2541         14   4  2  120 USELESS TOOLS (219)
TOTAL PARRY      MOUSETRAP 2521             15   6  1   72 USELESS TOOLS (219)
SLASHING ATTACK  WASTELANDER 2134            7   1  1   66 EYE OF THE STORM (221)
AIMED BLOW       WIMPERETTA 2655            13   8  0   51 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    VIRET 2727                  6   4  0   41 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NO-STICK TAPE 2541.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CHAOS WARRIOR 2069.  The ten other most popular fighters were PITTHEUS 2768, 
SKORINDELLE 2742, BATTLEBLADE 2071, OCAR 2767, DA2 2763, PALLINEA 2735, YRUN 2764, 

The least popular fighter this week was YAHOO WAHOO 2733.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were HIGHER 2755, MOUSETRAP 2521, HAUBERK 2564, WRONG WAY 2754, 
DAROSHTAN 2602, DA 1 2760, NEVER DIE 2756, DRAGONFLY 2696, KRYMSYN 2758, and 


     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."


     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)