DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/19/2024    Duedate: 08/15/2024

TROCAR ARENA

DM 54    TURN 438

This Week's Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

NERF GUN
USELESS TOOLS (219)
(54-3287) [25-12-0,119]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

RIZZO                          POSITION IS EMPTY
THE MUPPETS (20)               
(54-2405) [18-20-2,131]        

Popularity Leader              This Week's Favorite

THE ILLUSIVE MAN               KANJI SAI
MASS EFFECT (332)              TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
(54-3188) [15-13-1,101]        (54-3456) [11-14-0,75]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE MUPPETS (20)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE MUPPETS (20)              45 
2. BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)      22    USELESS TOOLS (219)
3. TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)       9     Unchartered Team
4. USELESS TOOLS (219)           8  
5. MASS EFFECT (332)             -22   I WISH (222)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 USELESS TOOLS (219)      387 185 20 67.7   1/ 1 THE MUPPETS (20)         11  4 2
 2/ 2 2233 BOURBON ST (362)     10   6  0 62.5   2/ 2 MASS EFFECT (332)        11  4 0
 3/ 3 MASS EFFECT (332)        101  67  2 60.1   3/ 3 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)   4  8 0
 4/ 5 THE MUPPETS (20)         142 109 11 56.6   4/ 6 USELESS TOOLS (219)       3  3 0
 5- 6 TREES (340)              117  95  5 55.2   5/ 4 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)  3  6 1
 6/ 7 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)  628 591 18 51.5   6/ 5 2233 BOURBON ST (362)     2  2 0
 7/ 8 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331) 201 221  9 47.6   7- 8 TREES (340)               0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  Hey everybody, watch out for RIZZO, who flew up 27 points in the 
rankings after mashing TALI'ZORAH like a melon.  Keep your eye on this beast.  And 
falling like a basher in the top ten was SADIE JONES, who dropped 3 points after a 
disappointing (to say the least) bout with MISS PIGGY.  What does the Duelmaster and 
Piltdown Man have in common?  They are both the most challenged apes in human 
history!  Heyheyhey!  Drawing on all of its experience as a 24-12-0 warrior, NERF GUN 
went for the Duelmastership against THE ILLUSIVE MAN this week.  In front of all the 
crowds, NERF GUN took the Duelmaster's crown for its own.  I give the bum two weeks.  
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid MASS EFFECT, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does TROCAR really have that many 
liars?  And you guys like to boo me?  Well, unsling your rasberries, cause USELESS 
TOOLS beats feet every time MASS EFFECT smiles at them.  Try farming, eh?   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  I have no doubt that THE MUPPETS 
will be celebrating long and loud their warrior RIZZO's slaying of TALI'ZORAH on the 
sands.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly 
buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you 
enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be 
leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NERF GUN 3287                25  12  0 119         USELESS TOOLS (219)       

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RIZZO 2405                   18  20  2 131         THE MUPPETS (20)          
 SPECIES 37 3163              20  11  1 102         MASS EFFECT (332)         
 THE ILLUSIVE MAN 3188        15  13  1 101         MASS EFFECT (332)         
 MOLD 3467                    13   4  0  96         BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)  

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAM 2692                     20   9  2  82         THE MUPPETS (20)          
 OLD FITZGERALD 3505           9   4  0  80         2233 BOURBON ST (362)     
 KANJI SAI 3456               11  14  0  75         TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)   
 DARRIA HORROCKS 3457         11  13  0  74         TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)   
 DORIAN HALLIE 3458           14  10  0  69         TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)   

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BIG MEAN CARL 3480           10   7  2  53         THE MUPPETS (20)          
 KIRRAHE 3524                  4   0  0  50         MASS EFFECT (332)         
 MISS PIGGY 3479              10   7  0  49         THE MUPPETS (20)          
 CAKE TESTER 3481              5   7  0  49         USELESS TOOLS (219)       

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CRAZY HARRY 3513              5   3  0  29         THE MUPPETS (20)          
 MORDIN SOLUS 3522             3   2  0  26         MASS EFFECT (332)         
 SADIE JONES 3485              4  12  0  24         TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)   

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HICKORY HILL 3508             1   0  0  21         2233 BOURBON ST (362)     
 CORRODED PIPE 3517            2   4  0  10         BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)  
-EBONY 3417                    1   2  0   5         TREES (340)               

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
FLUSHED 3528            0  1 0 BASH BROS BATHRO 331 MASTER JARETH OK       438 NONE
TALI'ZORAH 3378        13  6 0 MASS EFFECT 332      RIZZO 2405             438  

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Nerf Gun -- ::mumbles to self:: Carry the one and . . . ::more mumbling:: move this 
part here . . . The math works out, so I'll have a different approach the next time we 
meet. Translation: I'll carry a bigger stick! -- Tali'Zorah

Mold -- I still feel like that one is a dice roll. Whoever swings first is probably 
going to be the winner. -- The Illusive Man

Wild-Eyed Fanatic -- What exactly are you fanatical about? Arena fights? Cheese? Could 
you give me more information so I can decide whether I should be impressed or 
concerned? -- Species 37

Lake Patrol -- What exactly are you patrolling? Rironi Pirates? I thought they mainly 
stuck to land raids. Oh, I see now! There is no telling what can drift down the stream 
from Jhans. -- Kirrahe

Trocaran Deserter -- Eh, I should have ended you. I have no tolerance for the 
cowardly. -- Mordin Solus

                                  * * * * * * * * * 

Where: Lapur DM 29
When:  Turn 1000 -- August 6th, 2024 is the due date.

Announcing Lapur's 1000th turn. Over the past 38+ years many legendary fighters and 
managers have attended the Lapurian Arena. If you are one of those managers and have a 
inactive team, send them into fight for turn 1000. If you have a tourney team in Lapur 
and need some new recruits for the next tourney, send them in to fight in the Dark 
Arena on turn 1000. Load up the Dark Arena with a page full of fights in the 
newsletter and make it memorable. For this one turn join in and celebrate the arena's 
1000th. C'mon dust off your old Lapurian warriors and send them to fight during the 
day or night for turn 1000 on August 6th!

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FLUSHED was butchered by MASTER JARETH OKARRA in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
NERF GUN won victory over THE ILLUSIVE MAN in a 2 minute Challenge Title battle.
OLD FITZGERALD was defeated by MOLD in a 1 minute master's Challenge duel.
CAKE TESTER was savagely defeated by DORIAN HALLIE in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
RIZZO butchered TALI'ZORAH in a 1 minute bloody one-sided duel.
SPECIES 37 beat DARRIA HORROCKS in a popular 1 minute master's brawl.
KANJI SAI was unbelievably bested by SAM in a action packed 3 minute expert's melee.
BIG MEAN CARL overpowered SLAVE-WARRIOR in a 1 minute uneven duel.
KIRRAHE defeated CRAZY HARRY in a 1 minute fight.
MISS PIGGY overpowered SADIE JONES in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
CORRODED PIPE was overpowered by MORDIN SOLUS in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|AIMED BLOW                       5         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   5 -  0      71  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   4 -  1      64  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   5 -  1      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   8 -  1      53  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW        29 -  26 -  0      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         LUNGING ATTACK    15 -  15 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  14 -  0      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  16 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 438 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         2 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  3         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      NERF GUN 3287              25  12  0  119 USELESS TOOLS (219)
BASHING ATTACK   SPECIES 37 3163            20  11  1  102 MASS EFFECT (332)
LUNGING ATTACK   THE ILLUSIVE MAN 3188      15  13  1  101 MASS EFFECT (332)
AIMED BLOW       MOLD 3467                  13   4  0   96 BASH BROS BATHROOM (331)
SLASHING ATTACK  DORIAN HALLIE 3458         14  10  0   69 TRADERS OF TROCAR (252)
STRIKING ATTACK  BIG MEAN CARL 3480         10   7  2   53 THE MUPPETS (20)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE ILLUSIVE MAN 3188.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was KANJI SAI 3456.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE ILLUSIVE 
MAN 3188, DORIAN HALLIE 3458, SPECIES 37 3163, MOLD 3467, CAKE TESTER 3481, NERF GUN 
3287, RIZZO 2405, SAM 2692, BIG MEAN CARL 3480, and KIRRAHE 3524.

The least popular fighter this week was CORRODED PIPE 3517.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CRAZY HARRY 3513, TALI'ZORAH 3378, SADIE JONES 3485, DARRIA 
HORROCKS 3457, OLD FITZGERALD 3505, FLUSHED 3528, MORDIN SOLUS 3522, MISS PIGGY 3479, 
KIRRAHE 3524, and BIG MEAN CARL 3480.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

THE ILLUSIVE MAN (54-3188) MASS EFFECT (332)