Date   : 08/29/2003    Duedate: 09/25/2003


DM-59    TURN-160

This Weeks Top Honors


(59-2110) [18-5-0,117]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HANGOVERS (265)                
(59-2324) [18-17-5,133]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

HANGOVERS (265)                IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
(59-2326) [22-14-1,96]         (59-2340) [7-6-1,48]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE EXPLORERS (21)          42
2. IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)     35      NOT QUITE (240)
3. KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)       11      Unchartered Team
4. HANGOVERS (265)             10
5. NOT QUITE (240)              8      KILLER INSTINCT (6)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 NOT QUITE (240)           18   9  0 66.7   1/ 1 HANGOVERS (265)          10  1 1
 2/ 2 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)     40  23  0 63.5   2/ 2 THE EXPLORERS (21)        9  6 0
 3- 3 DAMAGE INC. (71)          82  60  2 57.7   3/ 4 IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)   9  6 0
 4/ 4 IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)   41  30  3 57.7   4/ 3 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)     6  6 0
 5/ 5 HANGOVERS (265)          107  85 12 55.7   5/ 5 ISLANDERS (247)           4 10 0
 6/ 6 THE EXPLORERS (21)       123 101  6 54.9   6/ 6 NOT QUITE (240)           2  1 0
 7/ 7 ISLANDERS (247)          127 207  5 38.0   7- 7 DAMAGE INC. (71)          0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Spotlight for dm 59
     Nothing from me.  too bad we can't give 'em some of the junk from Morya,
isn't it?

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     I defeated Hoffa With Hair (an unnatural wight if I ever saw one) and thus
earned this exalted position and a chance to retire on the Isle of the Eye.  Not bad
for a clumsy guy like me, eh?
     If you burn to know, and even if you don't, I'm a total parry, 11-15-14-15-15-7-
7, favoring the battle axe (!), very low/very low, and the riposte tactic.  Sometimes
I wonder if the people at the Commission REALLY know what they're talking about when
they disclose our so-called favorites.


                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  Advancing in the rankings was THE EXPLORERS who went from last turn's 
119-100-6, to this week's record of 123-101-6.  Hey everybody, watch out for 
MACAULIFFE, who flew up 18 points in the rankings after mashing SLAKER like a melon.  
Keep your eye on this gal.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was WIMPIRA, who 
dropped 6 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with FLAMING MOE.  
What does the Duelmaster and Piltdown Man have in common?  They are both the most 
challenged apes in human history!  Heyheyhey!  Drawing on all of its experience as a 
17-5-0 warrior, IMMOVEABLE OBJECT went for the Duelmastership against HAMP this week. 
In front of all the crowds, IMMOVEABLE OBJECT took the Duelmaster's crown for its 
own.  I give the bum two weeks.  Can you believe they are paying me 10 gold to 
deliver this stuff?   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid THE EXPLORERS, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does ILLIS really have that many 
liars?  For those of you who like math, try this one:  THE EXPLORERS + Weapons That 
go Boom = KNIGHTS TEMPLAR + Avoid City.  Challenging down 24 points was GHASTLY 
MIGRAINE.  Pretty soon he'll be using two shields and selling 'T.P.:  The only way to 
clean up' pins.  Definition of petty:  GHASTLY MIGRAINE beat LUCIA, a mismatch of 24 
points.  Can any one out there say 'weasel'?  Oh well, just saying FLAMING DRAMBUIE 
will do.  He challenged 25 points down to trash HOFFA WITH HAIR.  Well FLAMING 
DRAMBUIE, just can't get an easy fight anymore can you?  You thought challenging down 
25 points to HOFFA WITH HAIR would be fun.  Right?  Wrong!   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Remember:  alliances are great, 
but try and take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens.   
     Well, there's the manager of the ILLIS giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 2110       18   5  0   117       NOT QUITE (240)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GHASTLY MIGRAINE 2324        18  17  5   133       HANGOVERS (265)
 HOFFA WITH HAIR 2297         14   1  0   109       IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
-SLIPPERY NIPPLE 2323         14   4  1   104       HANGOVERS (265)
 FLAMING DRAMBUIE 2326        22  14  1    96       HANGOVERS (265)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIR PRANCELOT 2286           12   3  0    89       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)
 SIR TIPPER 2287              11   3  0    87       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)
 LUCIA 2256                   21  13  1    85       ISLANDERS (247)
-FEDIFENSOR 379               14  14  1    83       DAMAGE INC. (71)
-SVAD BONEGRIN 954            14  13  0    83       DAMAGE INC. (71)
 DUFF 2180                     4  65  0    77       ISLANDERS (247)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ANUBIS 2395                   6   2  0    55       IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ATTA-BOY 2363                 5   3  0    53       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)
 OOKAZI 2401                   5   2  1    49       IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
 EVANGELION 2340               7   6  1    48       IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
 MACAULIFFE 1811               5   8  2    44       THE EXPLORERS (21)
 SLAKER 2284                  10  11  0    41       ISLANDERS (247)
 GLENN 2415                    3   1  0    41       THE EXPLORERS (21)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CHUCKLER 2381                 5   2  0    26       KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)
 LEWIS 2402                    4   3  0    26       THE EXPLORERS (21)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLAMING MOE 2420              2   0  0    21       HANGOVERS (265)
 UMI 2414                      2   3  0    17       IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
 KIRK 2417                     2   1  0    16       THE EXPLORERS (21)
 COOK 2419                     2   1  0    15       THE EXPLORERS (21)
 BLOODY CAESAR 2422            1   0  1    11       HANGOVERS (265)
 WIMPIRA 2421                  1   1  0    11       ISLANDERS (247)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
ALABAMA SLAMMER 2392   0  2 0 HANGOVERS 265         MACAULIFFE 1811       157 REVENGED
SIR WILLIAMS 2423      0  1 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 258   BLOODY CAESAR 2422    160         
BLA-BLA 2364           5  2 0 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR 258   EVANGELION 2340       157 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Frosted Flake -- You have a strange definition of control.  The 0-3 turn against me
was most impressive.  You truly have the arena in hand.  Putz! -- Phantasm
P.S.  As for my alliance members, none are here, which is a good thing for you
because you can't even handle me.  However, if you would like to look any of them up
they can be found in the following arenas 6, 11, 18, 19, 21, 24, 28, 31, 33, 35, 39,
43, 45, 47, 60, 62, 73, 74, 101, 102, 104, 105, and 106 (I know that I've missed
some, but I haven't the time to look them up at the moment).  Just ask for all the VC
members to identify themselves, they'll be happy to oblige.

Hamp -- You jerk!  I was expecting to lose, but to one of Crip's crap!  Phantasm
hasn't read the fight yet, so he doesn't know what went wrong.  Oh well, it happens.
-- Hoffa With Hair

Sir Prancelot -- I am now at the stage in my Basic career where warriors of your
style pose a problem.  Decise is nice, but not as important as Defense and Attack.  I
learn Attack well, but not to the levels that can make me very competitive vs. good
defense ratings. -- HWH

Flaming Dramuie -- Ouch and I mean ouch.  You really hurt me bad, plus my pride.  You
almost caught my hair on fire.  Well, what little I have left.  But you are greedy
with your skills, buddy.  If we meet again, you have to teach better.  I had to take
some pain relievers. -- Sir Tipper

Duff -- Sorry, ole boy.  I guess we will meet a few times now.  I like to fight, and
I think I'm getting better.  My boss don't believe in me yet.  He said I should be
better.  But he's wrong, ain't he? -- Sir Prancelot

Evangelion -- I wish I could fight you again.  I don't like it here.  It stinks and I
keep tasting my blood.  If I'm going to taste my blood, at least let it be mingled
with the blood of your death.  I will always haunt you. -- Bla-Bla's Ghost

Evangelion -- Well, you tried.  But you lost.  I don't know why the Arenamaster
stopped the fight.  I wanted to be the only one to come out alive. -- Atta-boy
P.S.  Now I guess I am gone for a while.  I didn't follow my manager's orders in the
fight.  He is a tough cookie to work for.  But don't tell him I said so.

All -- Welcome Sir Williams to the arena.  He will be here this time. -- Unforgiven,
mgr. Knights Templar

Improved Illusion -- I don't think I took it personal.  I just got attached to Bla-
Bla, and we all have to mourn our loss.  If you took it that way, I'm sorry.  Death
is death.  It comes back. -- Unforgiven

Hoffa With Hair -- Losing the throne, and your undefeated record to Hamp?  Man,
that's gotta be more embarrassing than a toupee. -- Flaming Drambuie

Sir Tipper -- Be a little more generous with the greenbacks next time please. --
Flaming Drambuie

Lucia -- I was challenging Hamp, but I convinced the boss to keep you as an alternate
challenge, I will do the same this turn. -- Immoveable Object

Rogers -- You are beginning to sound bitter.  I'd prefer to hand HWH (His Woeful
Hoffaness) his butt on a platter, but he keeps avoiding me. -- Flaming Drambuie

Immoveable Object -- We all know you so well.  Graduate already, why don't you? --

Sir Francelot -- Well done, Sir!  Say hello to Mrs. Francelot for me (I think she's a
friend of my sister?). -- Duff

Glenn -- I had an uncle named Glen with only one N.  That may be why he was such a
loathesome fellow, or it might have been something else, who knows? -- Slaker
P.S.  No, I am NOT going to say anything about that fight.  It's too depressing.

Kirk -- There is definitely something WRONG here.  I had the DISTINCT impression that
I was reincarnating in TROCAR.  Somebody is going to REGRET this. -- Wimpira

Sir Tipper -- No problem.  Hamp has also been helpful but shoving Hoffa-with-Hair
down the ranks toward you.  Go for it.  Take a knife, as they say, and shave him
close. -- Duff

Kellog -- Ah, good for Rogers.  I never went to a tournament, myself. -- Bali, just

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CHUCKLER was viciously subdued by EVANGELION in a 5 minute Bloodfeud fight.
GHASTLY MIGRAINE demolished LUCIA in a popular 2 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
FLAMING DRAMBUIE was bested by HOFFA WITH HAIR in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
IMMOVEABLE OBJECT outlasted HAMP in a 8 minute master's Challenge Title competition.
SIR PRANCELOT overpowered DUFF in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
FLAMING MOE bested WIMPIRA in a 1 minute novice's Challenge competition.
SIR TIPPER overcame CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 2 minute melee.
OOKAZI won victory over DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a action packed 3 minute duel.
SLAKER was overpowered by MACAULIFFE in a popular 2 minute uneven duel.
ANUBIS savagely defeated GLENN in a 2 minute gory expert vs. novice match.
UMI was subdued by LEWIS in a 2 minute match.
KIRK devastated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
COOK demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BLOODY CAESAR executed SIR WILLIAMS in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         AIMED BLOW         8 -   2 -  1      80  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         BASHING ATTACK    13 -   4 -  0      76  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  3         LUNGING ATTACK    13 -   6 -  0      68  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      17 -   8 -  1      68  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   3 -  0      63  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -   9 -  1      61  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       36 -  27 -  1      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  14 -  4      39  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         WALL OF STEEL      7 -  14 -  1      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -  16 -  0      30  |

Turn 160 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0                                       2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       IMMOVEABLE OBJECT 2110     18   5  0  117 NOT QUITE (240)
LUNGING ATTACK   GHASTLY MIGRAINE 2324      18  17  5  133 HANGOVERS (265)
PARRY-LUNGE      FLAMING DRAMBUIE 2326      22  14  1   96 HANGOVERS (265)
TOTAL PARRY      SIR TIPPER 2287            11   3  0   87 KNIGHTS TEMPLAR (258)
PARRY-STRIKE     ANUBIS 2395                 6   2  0   55 IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    EVANGELION 2340             7   6  1   48 IMPROVED ILLUSION (261)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FLAMING DRAMBUIE 2326.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was EVANGELION 2340.  The ten other most popular fighters were SLAKER 2284, 
2297, SIR TIPPER 2287, OOKAZI 2401, MACAULIFFE 1811, and CHUCKLER 2381.

The least popular fighter this week was SIR WILLIAMS 2423.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were WIMPIRA 2421, DUFF 2180, BLOODY CAESAR 2422, LEWIS 2402, GLENN 
2415, FLAMING DRAMBUIE 2326, LUCIA 2256, COOK 2419, KIRK 2417, and FLAMING MOE 2420.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:


The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

HAMP (59-2191) ISLANDERS (247)

                                FACE-TO-FACE XXXII

     Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday 
through Sunday, 16-18 January 2004, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S 
Rural Rd).  Room rates are $119.00 per night, 1-2 occupancy, which includes breakfast.  
The rooms are blocked.  The reservations number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with 
the "Reality Simulations Face to Face Convention" block.  Our room block will be 
released in mid-December, so please make sure you reserve your room before then.
     There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.  The hotel is 
located down the freeway in Tempe.  All rooms have high speed internet (for an extra 
charge).  There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a bar and 
restaurant inside the hotel.  And there's Denny's right across the street.  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
     The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late 
November/early December. 
     If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue.  If you have, 
you'll be back.  Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast!  See you there! 

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff