DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/23/2004    Duedate: 05/06/2004

ARADI ARENA

DM-60    TURN-336

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THORNE
FA CHING (388)
(60-5259) [16-4-0,122]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THORNE                         THE GREEK GUY
FA CHING (388)                 I HATE THEM (480)
(60-5259) [16-4-0,122]         (60-6179) [6-1-0,40]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

NAPPY DUGOUT                   CYVIN
WILD CARDS (148)               FA CHING (388)
(60-6080) [15-20-1,66]         (60-5258) [13-9-1,86]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

 (-1)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE UNDERWORLD (15)         52
2. POWER BROKERS (527)         48      RED AVENGERS (487)
3. I'M WITH STUPID (531)       45      Unchartered Team
4. DEATH STUDS VII (301)       44
5. I HATE THEM (480)           43      I HATE THEM (480)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*INQUISITION SG-1 (540)     1   0  0  100   1/ 7 HIT ME WITH... (503)     12  3 0
 2- 2*MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)  10   5  0 66.7   2/ 4 I'M WITH STUPID (531)    12  3 0
 3/ 3 RED AVENGERS (487)        44  26  1 62.9   3/11 POWER BROKERS (527)      11  4 0
 4/ 5 I'M WITH STUPID (531)     46  29  1 61.3   4/ 8 THE UPSTARTS III (510)   10  5 0
 5/ 7 POWER BROKERS (527)       56  42  6 57.1   5/13 4000 BLOWS (107)          9  6 0
 6/ 6 LUROCIANS VI (431)       105  87  7 54.7   6/14 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     9  6 0
 7-11 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       90  79  8 53.3   7/ 2 FA CHING (388)            9  6 0
 8/10 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  587 516 19 53.2   8/ 3 RED AVENGERS (487)        9  6 0
 9/13 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    335 295  8 53.2   9/10 WILD CARDS (148)          8  7 0
10/12 WIMPS OF DEATH (66)      535 475 31 53.0  10/ 1 LOCK-OUT (368)            8  7 0
11/ 8 DARQUE AGES (536)         30  27  5 52.6  11/15 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  8  7 0
12/14 WILD CARDS (148)         703 641 26 52.3  12/ 6 SHADOW SIGNS (491)        8  7 0
13/ 9 LOCK-OUT (368)            55  51  3 51.9  13-12 FIVE SPHERES (462)        7  3 0
14/15 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 162 154 12 51.3  14/26 THE UNDERWORLD (15)       7  7 1
15/16 SHADOW SIGNS (491)        82  78  1 51.3  15/21 FACES OF ETERNITY (539)   7  8 1
16/17 HIT ME WITH... (503)      32  31  0 50.8  16/ 5 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   7  8 0
17/18 FA CHING (388)           105 112  3 48.4  17/29 RED DOG GANG (476)        5  4 0
18-19 OGRES ARE US (270)       145 157  2 48.0  18/18 MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)      5  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 4000 BLOWS (107)         563 627 27 47.3  19/16 WIMPS OF DEATH (66)       5  9 0
20-21 WING HOVE (529)           33  37  3 47.1  20/22 LEGALESE (449)            5  9 0
21/22 THE UNDERWORLD (15)       60  71  6 45.8  21/23 FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)    5 10 0
22/ 0 BEERBARIANS (528)         14  17  4 45.2  22/ 9 LUROCIANS VI (431)        4 11 0
23/23 BUMS 'R' US (465)        125 164  0 43.3  23/20 DARQUE AGES (536)         3  6 0
24/25 MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)      28  38  1 42.4  24/30 BUMS 'R' US (465)         3  8 0
25/26 LEGALESE (449)            65  91  3 41.7  25/19 LOSERS (544)              3 12 0
26/27 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    37  52  3 41.6  26-28 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       2  0 0
27-29 FIVE SPHERES (462)        32  48  1 40.0  27-17*MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)  2  3 0
28/24 LOSERS (544)              25  39  2 39.1  28/34*I HATE THEM (480)         2  7 1
29/30 RED DOG GANG (476)       230 388  3 37.2  29-31 WING HOVE (529)           2  8 0
30/31 FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)    70 122  3 36.5  30/ 0 BEERBARIANS (528)         1  0 0
31/32 FACES OF ETERNITY (539)   23  47  3 32.9  31-33*INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    1  0 0
32/33*I HATE THEM (480)          7  16  1 30.4  32-25 OGRES ARE US (270)        1  4 0
33-34*MELEE-MAGTHERE (549)       4  17  1 19.0  33-32*MELEE-MAGTHERE (549)      0  8 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ T335 TOGS totals (2 x multiplier) ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

    TOTAL     Turn 12 Turn 12 Turn 12 Turn 12 Turn 12
TEAM                         POINTS     Fights  Spots    Ads    Avoids    DM
------- ------------------- ------- --  ------  ------  ------  ------  ------
TEAM 2                       808.5        62      20
   DEATH STUD / SOULTAKER
TEAM 3                       775.5       108      20
   SHADOWGATE / YUKON
TEAM 14                      769.5        70      20
   RAGE MAN / DEGOTTI
TEAM 11                       620         76      0      -20
   THE GREEK GUY / RILLION
TEAM 7                        610        112      10     -10
   NULN / VOYDE
TEAM 4                        564         62      20             -10
   WIMPY / JUDGE
TEAM 8                       545.5        36      20
   ELEPHANT / SIR INDIMAR
TEAM 12                      467.5        76      0
   ONEDAWG / MASTER DARQUE
TEAM 6                        462         34      10     -10
   DREIDENFLAHG / STREET LEGAL
TEAM 13                       453         78      10
   PIP THE TROLL / GUARDIAN
TEAM 10                       450         20      10     -10              20
   ANTI / SNOTMAN
TEAM 9                       436.5        0       0      -10
   GHOTI / ARMALIAS SKYHAWK
TEAM 15                      269.5        22      0
   RUDE BUDDHA / MANNEQUIN
TEAM 1                       237.5        0       0      -20
   GANOLUS / HOMBRE (BEN WA)
TEAM 5                        67.5        0       0      -20
   JACK WOLFSPIDER / CFH
          =================================================================
T335 TEAM FIGHT TOTALS

WARRIOR:                                      WARRIOR: WINNER: PNTS:
========                                      ======== ======= =====
4-FT PARTY BONG     was vanquished by         CYCLONE             TEAM 2   7
FREEP               was outwaited by          TYPHOON XXII        TEAM 2   7
HERROL              was savagely defeated by  ANGRY SANTA         TEAM 2   7
WILDFIRE                luckily beat          MR OBLIVIOUS        TEAM 2   10
                                                                   -TOTAL: 31

BING                    defeated              THE-SHOCKER         TEAM 3   10
BONG                    bested                DEMURRER            TEAM 3   10
GOLDFISH                beat                  EDDIE THE ECHO      TEAM 3   10
MAIMONIDES          was viciously subdued by  GROVER              TEAM 3   7
SILVER BELLS            beat                  PIP THE TROLL       TEAM 3   10
LLUCKY DAY          was savagely defeated by  SHARP STICK         TEAM 3      7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 54

LACHES                  luckily beat          NAPPY DUGOUT        TEAM 4   10
TOGS DIXIE          was viciously subdued by  TWICKLEBUM          TEAM 4   7
SUPERNOVA           was handily defeated by   OBITER DICTA        TEAM 4      7
CRYPT QUEEN         was defeated by           NUDNIK              TEAM 4      7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 31

DR. FEELGOOD            outlasted             LIMPY LIMPY         TEAM 6   10
TELLY               was defeated by           JAMAICAN GOLD       TEAM 6   7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 17

THE AYL'M'ER            vanquished            WHITE RAVEN         TEAM 7   10
WIND                    defeated              CYVIN               TEAM 7   10
DUST                    bested                ANASTASIUS II       TEAM 7   10
WINKER X                overpowered           SANDSTORM           TEAM 7      7
ASSHE-MASTER            defeated              DOVE FALCONHAND     TEAM 7      7
VOHDE                   overcame              VAJRA HAMMER        TEAM 7      4
X=WHERE'S MY BEER?  was vanquished by         CANDLEWIC           TEAM 7      4
BLAZE                   overpowered           TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE  TEAM 7      4
                                                                   -TOTAL: 56

NAMBY PAMBY         was devastated by         BARON               TEAM 8   7
T-MAC                   overpowered           RYLD                TEAM 8      4
WEED 4 MOM              beat                  INDIMAR'S FAXMACHINETEAM 8      7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 18

MISTRESS BOMBTRONIC     luckily beat          NOODLES             TEAM 10  10
GRAFFIX             was overpowered by        ANDROGENOUS STRAIN  TEAM 10  7
ORIGINAL SHOCKER        savagely defeated     PIKEL               TEAM 10  10
LOTT                was demolished by         ZIGGERZAG           TEAM 10  7
TOGS DESPERATION    was luckily beaten by     ROT GUT             TEAM 10  7
TRIPLICATE THUNDER      vanquished            AVIENDHA            TEAM 10     7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 48

HELMS               was demolished by         LLUPERIOR LLORCES   TEAM 11  7
SON OF BLOODLUST    was defeated by           BLUE BEANIE         TEAM 11  7
TOGS REPLACEMENT        handily defeated      ZYLLEIX'S SHADE     TEAM 11  10
CLINTON             was bested by             LLAPPY LLILMORE     TEAM 11  7
TOGS STINKER            unbelievably bested   SCRAG               TEAM 11     7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 38

JAMIS               was overpowered by        MARDUK              TEAM 12  7
VERDICT             was overpowered by        ERIK THE RED        TEAM 12  7
VOLCANO             was executed by           QUETZACOATYL        TEAM 12  7
CORTEZ                  savagely defeated     OWL-LEN-L-NER       TEAM 12  10
XXX                 was outwaited by          URBAN               TEAM 12     7
                                                                   -TOTAL: 38

MANAGER                 handily defeated      WATER               TEAM 13  10
S.L.A.P.P.          was devastated by         DUNNO               TEAM 13     7
FLICKED BOOGERS         won victory over      TELESPHORUS         TEAM 13     7
VIKEN                   viciously subdued     IVAN                TEAM 13     7
SPED                was defeated by           TOSSED SALAD        TEAM 13     4
NERVOUS TIC         was handily defeated by   BUSTED NUTS         TEAM 13     4
                                                                   -TOTAL: 39

LIGHTNING IX        was overpowered by        KABOOM              TEAM 14  7
LORD OF THE O RINGS was viciously subdued by  THORNE              TEAM 14  7
ZERBERT                 outwaited             URLGEN THREE-FIST   TEAM 14  10
FLORIN FALCONHAND   was devastated by         TOGS WINNER         TEAM 14     7
NUHRII              was overpowered by        BARBIEDOLL LUST     TEAM 14     4
                                                                   -TOTAL: 35

FRUB                was savagely defeated by  MURRAY              TEAM 15  7
M'TARL                  lost to               KERRY               TEAM 15     4
                                                                   -TOTAL: 11
          =================================================================
     Congrats to Shadowgate and Yukon for gaining 46 points on the leaders and coming
in first for turn 12!  One turn left, guys, and the Golden Scrod is still up for
grabs.  Good luck, everyone!
     -- Ganolus Oakleaf

    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Shadow Sign's Team Spotlight #13 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
         "To win or place in TOGS or to go to Snowbound...The Big Finish?!?"

     Well, Yukon and Shadowgate were still dumbstruck that they had won the turn with
a 6-4 performance, thanks to Nuln and Voyde's missing writings!  Yukon was so happy
he didn't even point out that four of the six wins where his...much.  So, going into
the final turn there was only 39 points separating the top three teams!  Not that
Teams 11 and 7 where not totally out of it mathematically speaking but it would take
all three of the top team totally choking and team 11 or 7 going 9-1 or better vs.
other TOGS teams to win.  It could happen but it was doubtful.
     Yukon's and Shadowgate's ecstasy was short lived when one of the Fab Five
stumbled into the room with burnt hair and tattered clothes.  Apparently Soultaker
had refused to leave with any of the Fab Five to get the new furnishings for Death
Stub's pad.  He knew the show very well and said that his little stud was supposed to
go pick out furnishings and be remade at a local saloon.  The Fab Five tried to
improvise but in the end when Death Stud came back from his saloon treatment
Soultaker insisted on helping place the furniture and ended up throwing the throw on
himself causing three of the Fab Five to be set on fire!  Those three as well as
another of Fab Five went up in "flames", as he tried to help.  The fifth decided to
make a run for it while Soultaker wisked his partner out of the by then burning
house.
     Yukon said that was fine, which stunned Shadowgate until he asked the last 
member of the Fab One to take his sledge over to see Rage Man and ask him to show him
his dual-sheep.  The Fab One was amazed to hear that there was such a thing as a
dual-sheep and quickly departed.
     "Well, if the sledge doesn't get him then Rage Man will!" said Yukon slamming
his fist into the table.  "I thought that would have worked for sure and we would
have taken Team 2 out of the equation!"
     "It isn't that bad, Team 2 is now without a home and has to be demoralized!
Plus they have to get two replacements for their teams and I have already put another
plan in motion to make sure that the warriors are stupid and have no will at all!"
said Shadowgate standing up and stretching.  "You can never count on plans to work
out perfectly, so you always need plans B and C and sometimes even D!"
     "What's plan C?  Don't tell me it has anything to do with Extreme Make-over!"
said Yukon as he grabbed his morning beer.
     "No, that is plan D.  Plan C is to kill off every warrior that Team 2 sends to
the tourney." said Shadowgate.
     "But we are not sending anyone to the tourney from Aradi, so they don't get
killed!" said Yukon after he downed half the mug.
     "No, but I have sent warriors to all the basic classes with specific orders to
kill any warriors from Team 2." said Shadowgate as he got up and got some more
coffee.
     "Wait!  You going to kill Team 2's warriors off with your guys!?!?  You're
kidding, right?  Those losers will be lucky to come out alive as it is, let alone
kill anyone!" said Yukon with a grin.
     "Yeah, this coming from someone who is hardly sending anyone and wouldn't be any
help in this plan.  Plus some of my guys are VERY good, you putz!" said Shadowgate as
he stood up quickly.  He almost left the room, but realized that he only had to work
with Yukon one more turn in his present state and then he could be reprogrammed in
the Snowbound outreach program which Manager had created.  Shadowgate wasn't sure
exactly what the whole program entailed but Manager promised Yukon would be a new man
after the month of intense "deprogramming".  He did mention that Yukon would have to
give up all his pampered ways and learn to live without creature comforts and learn
that he couldn't just have everything done for him by others.  He also said that he
would throw in tourney "training" as well and get him able to run multiple warriors
at once and still proxy well!  That was what really got Shadowgate and he forked over
the fee for Yukon's rebirth!  Shadowgate was still not sure why Manager wanted
Shadowgate's share in Yukon's favorite beer company.  Yeah, sure Yukon kept them
majorly in the black but even Yukon couldn't make them that profitable.
     Shadowgate sat back down and told Yukon that he would make sure that any of Team
2's warriors his met where killed, even if it meant they had to cheat doing it.
Shadowgate also came up with the idea of killing off Team 2's runners and messengers
again and make sure their orders didn't arrive in time.  One way or the other they
had to try to take first place in TOGS.  If they could do that no one would ever
think that their win in the Chimlevtal contest was a fluke...okay, no one knew that
was them...but THEY knew it and that was all that mattered!  It did bother Shadowgate
that no one knew that it was Yukon that was the member of that group who dragged the
rest of them down and that it was Shadowgate's tourney performance which had pulled
them through until the end.  Not that Manager had done badly, but still!  Ok, time
for Shadowgate to fill out team 3's warrior orders for the final time....

Here ends Shadow Sign's Team Spotlight #13 to be continued in TOGS V with "Defending
Champs or defending second or third place losers!"

              + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Red Avengers ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     It was a sunny day in Aradi.  Manager returned to his guild house, back from an
extended vacation.  He was sad.  Sad that his reign as the Primus Tournament Champion
was about to come to an end.  In just a few days, he was about to join he likes of
Death Stud, Guardian, and Inferno as a "former Primus Champion".  It was true that
they merely won regular Primus Championships and he had won a Combined Primus
Championship, but no one would remember that several years down the road.  The
thought of an inferior manager winning his Primus Championship was so sickening that
Manager decided to get away for a few days so he could cheer up.  It had helped a 
little, but now that Manager was back in Aradi, the thought weighed heavily in his
mind.
     Sitting on his sofa, quivering, was DeGotti.  "Manager!  You haven't
disappeared!  I'm so relieved!"  DeGotti ran up and grabbed his TOGS partner by the
shoulder to make sure it was really him.
     Manager was confused.  "Why would I disappear?  You knew I was going away for a
few days."
     "All of the other TOGS managers are gone!" said DeGotti, "I think they've been
kidnapped.  I only managed to escape because I hid in my closet."
     "Are you sure?" asked Manager, "They probably just had a party or something and
didn't invite you.  I hear the event coordinator, Anti, doesn't like you much."
     "I am totally sure this time," said DeGotti, "No one has been to any of the
farms in three days either, according to Farmer Bob."
     "No one has been to the farms at all?" Manager gasped, "That does seem
unbelievable.  Still, I can't believe that everyone else got kidnapped and both of us
just happened to escape.  Let's wander around the town, I bet we can find someone."
     "Ok." said DeGotti, "But where should we start?"
     "Let's look for Rude Buddha and Mannequin." replied Manager, "Who would want to
kidnap Rude Buddha and Mannequin?"
     Manager and DeGotti walked to the South Side of town.  The South Side was one of
Aradi's most immaculate neighborhoods.  They approached a building that was in the
shape of a perfect cube.  Lettered on top of the building in Times New Roman Font,
were the words: "Chaos, Inc."  Rude Buddha's newest alliance had just established a
headquarters in the town.  The two of them walked in and approached the front desk.
The room was spotless and very neat.  The desk person took one look at the twosome
and frowned.
     "You can't just stop by uninvited!" said the desk person,  "You need to have an
appointment.  Your arrival has thrown everything off schedule!  This is a mess!"
     "You must be Assamite," DeGotti greeted the overly organized manager as politely
as he could, "But we are looking for Rude Buddha and Mannequin.  We are wondering if
you have seen them."
     "Figures," Assamite scowled, "Rude Buddha can't even keep an orderly schedule,
and he was scheduled for tea time at 1:00, but is now 26 hours and 42 minutes late."
     "Do you think it's possible, he's been kidnapped?" asked Manager.
     "Well, it wouldn't be very efficient for him to get kidnapped, would it?"
growled Assamite, "But it sounds like the sort of thing that he would go and get
himself involved him."
     "Do you mind if we search his room for clues?" asked DeGotti.
     "If he was kidnapped, then that would be a logical step," replied Assamite, "But
do not dawdle, you have 17 minutes and four seconds.  Second room on the right."
     "Thanks." Manager and DeGotti hurried to Rude Buddha's room.  It was a fairly
plain room and not very ornamental.  A large, neatly made bed was in the center.  A
desk was in the right corner, and a floor lamp was at the other end.  There was a
sock on the floor.  Manager's detective abilities were able to quickly pick out the
clues that were hidden in Rude Buddha's organization.
     "Do you see anything?" asked DeGotti.
     "Yes, I know exactly what happened to Rude Buddha," replied Manager, "It's
obvious from the clues."
     "Really?" DeGotti said incredulously.
     "Yes.  See this open book?  Rude Buddha was reading at his desk with the lamp
on.  Suddenly, someone came from behind and whacked his head into the wall.  See
where there is a slight crack in the paint here?  Then the kidnapper looked for a way
to tie him up.  He didn't have rope, so he pulled off Rude Buddha's sock and tied him
up.  But he only needed one sock, and he left the other one here.  There is no other
way that Rude Buddha would just leave one sock lying around like that."
     "Wow, that's brilliant!" exclaimed DeGotti, "Looks like this kidnapper is a
force to be reckoned with."
     "Fortunately, I'm on the case." beamed Manager.
     "We should go to the Temple of Khorne next," suggested DeGotti, "Maybe can
figure out what happened to the FONZ members who disappeared."
     "Well, if this were a multi-part spotlight we could," replied Manager, "But
since there is only one last turn in TOGS, it will never see the conclusion.  So
let's fast forward to the part where I use my ingenious detective skills to solve the
mystery."
     "You know who did it?  Already?" gasped DeGotti.
     "Yes," answered Manager, "Basic detective work.  Your assertion that all of the
other managers have been kidnapped looked to be correct.  I know exactly who
kidnapped everyone else."
     "Who?" asked DeGotti, breathlessly.
     "Well, what are you going to do if I tell you who kidnapped the TOGS
contestants?"
     "I'm going to set up a rescue party for them of course!" said DeGotti excitedly,
"We have to save them."
     "That's exactly why I'm not going to tell you who kidnapped the TOGS
contestants," replied Manager.
     "What?  What do you mean?" DeGotti was dumbfounded.
     "Get with the program!" Manager raised his arms in the air, "If the TOGS
managers remained kidnapped forever, that only means there are more TCs for me--I
mean us!"  A big smile went across his face.
     "I never thought of that." said DeGotti.
     "C'mon, let's head to the tourney before the kidnapper gets us too." replied
Manager.
     And so Manager & DeGotti managed to make it to the tourney and escaped, leaving
the rest of the TOGS managers kidnapped forever so they could win more TCs.

THE END

                + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Fa Ching ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                  DeGotti's Return
                                       Part 13

Recap of part 12...

     The parade had many unexpected visitors that were causing much havoc amongst the
spectators.  These vulgar pranksters were pastel colored mini Judges and they were
mean.  To the surprise of everyone, Soultaker came out of nowhere riding his old
wooden souly cart and waving his old filth covered ladle over his head.  As he did
so, he commanded the unmistakable force that is Aradi's sewage.  The smell was so
horrible that many spectators' eyes began to tear.  But amongst the shocked crowd a
chant began to arise, "Souly!  Souly!  Souly!"  The chant began to thunder and as it
did Soultaker became more visibly proud.  He brought his ladle up over his head and
commanded a yellow-brown wave of raw sewage to go rushing towards those poor pastel
colored Judges.

     Nuln came running towards the commotion, cane in one hand, top hat in the other
and a not too happy look on his face.  He looked over to where the pastel colored
mini Judges were hunched together near the black egg and it looked like he ran into
some invisible wall.
     "Wha...wha....what are those colorful, little Judges doing over there?" Nuln
whimpered.
     "They are running from that." Destitute Noble said as he pointed towards where
Soultaker's wave of liquid filth was coming from.
     "Good god!  Is that what is causing that nauseating smell?" Nuln shouted as he
plugged his nose.  "What exactly is that?" he continued.
     "It seems to be a wave of sewage that is getting larger and thicker as it gets
closer." I pointed out.
     Wimpy added, "Yeah and it looks like good old Souly...I mean Soultaker is in
control of it."
     "Souly?  I thought that he was retired?" Nuln said to himself but loud enough
for us to hear.
     The crowd, which had piled into the street behind the stopped floats was now
beginning to part as the wave gathered force and speed and ground as it headed toward
its target.
     "Get the floats moving!" Nuln shouted as he turned to face us.  "Come on get
them out of here and hurry."
     Slowly the floats moved forward, but the wave was gaining on the TOGS III float
and Nuln.
     The crowd was in a panic as people tried to avoid getting any of that disgusting
liquid on them.
     "WOOOOOHOOOO!" Soultaker shouted as he encouraged the wave to gain momentum and
size.  He was riding that wooden cart like an expert chariot racer.
     The float we were on made it past where the tiny Judges and their black egg were
but the TOGS III Float was still a good 30 feet behind us and Nuln was running 15
feet behind the float.
     The wave was now 10 feet tall and filled the street and was just a few feet
behind Nuln.  The people on the TOGS III float were screaming encouragement to Nuln
to make him run faster.  But it was to no avail, just as the TOGS III float passed
the black egg, the wave engulfed poor Nuln and crashed into the mini Judges and the
black egg.
     There was an uncomfortable silence as the last of the filth washed over the
retaining wall with all its contents.  Then there was a rush of cheering as the crowd
realized that Soultaker had saved the day.
     Soultaker arrived to see his handiwork and as he got closer his smile got bigger
and bigger.  Little did he know that not only did his disgusting yellow-brown wave
take out the colorful Judges, but it washed away his non-alliance mate Nuln.

     And so that brings us up to the beginning of TOGS IV.  May you all roll over and
allow Team 14 to become the first repeat TOGS winners.

                    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[  ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
               Yukon's T@%$ Spotlight #13 This Week in T@#$ part XIII

Yukon:  WOOOOOOT!  Welcome to the last episode of This Week in T@#$.
Shadowgate:  I thought the FCC canceled us.
Yukon:  Wasn't me.
Shadowgate:  What "wasn't you"?  You wouldn't be talking about the fact the local FCC
official was found upside down in a trashcan with a dozen "daises" sticking out his
backside.
Yukon:  Yeah that.  It was probably the BOB.  You know how they are about sticking
things in peoples "backsides".  Plus they didn't win T@#$ so they were most likely
very upset.
Shadowgate:  At this point we don't know who did win T@#$'s.
Yukon:  It's in the bag, baby.  The golden Scrod will be ours....
Shadowgate:  Now don't be counting the scrod before the T@#$ spawns.  We still have
some catching up to do on Soultaker and Death Stud.  Plus Rage Manalger and Degotti
are still in this too.
Yukon:  Nonsense!  There can be only SCROD!
Shadowgate:  You'r not going to start lopping peoples' heads off, are you?
Yukon:  Hey!  That's a good idea.  Why didn't you think of it before.  If we could
have whacked 'Taker and Stud, we would have won this thing easy.
Shadowgate:  I'll put it down as a strategy for next T@#$.
Yukon:  Like anyone is going to be nuts enough to run another T@#$.  Since the winner
of the last T@#$ runs the next one, I can guarantee that there will never be another
T@#$.  You see, I'm winning it, and I not going to be running it.
Shadowgate:  You're going to jinx us.
Yukon:  Most likely, but what the hey.  You only get to gloat once.  Let's call Death
Stud and Soultaker and get their thoughts going into the final round.
Shadowgate:  Ok.  Let me ring them up.  <Ring, Ring>
Soultaker and Death Stud:  Hello?
Yukon:  LOSERS!  <Click>
Shadowgate:  Hey!  What did you do that for?
Yukon:  I don't like talking to losers.
Shadowgate:  We haven't won anything yet.
Yukon:  I know, but with your crappy record, if we lose it's your fault, if we win I
get all the credit.  Let's call Rage Manalger and Ghoti.
Shadowgate:  You aren't just going to call them 'Loser' and then just hang up, are
you?
Yukon:  Nope.
Shadowgate:  Ok.  Here we go.  <Ring, Ring>
Rage Manalger and Ghoti:  Hello?
Yukon:  DOUBLE LOSERS!  <Click>
Shadowgate:  You said that you weren't going to call them losers.
Yukon:  I didn't, I called them Double Losers.  It's completely different.
Shadowgate:  We are going to have to eat so much crow on this one....
Yukon:  Not "we"...you.  I already explained that if your record wasn't so bad we
would be way ahead in this thing.  Since you have been coming up with our challenge
strategy, even if I go 0-5 I can still blame you.
Shadowgate:  So what do you really think is going to happen?
Yukon:  Well, to tell the truth, I still think that DS and ST are going to win this.
I don't see them having another average turn.  I also won't be surprised to see us
drop to third, since RM/Ghotti are due a good turn as well.  Some of my guys crept up
a bit high last turn, so I'm guessing I'm due a 2-3 turn.  3-2 at best.  Since you
never win more then 2 fights anyway, it doesn't look good for us.
Shadowgate:  Hey!  Sometimes I win 3.
Yukon:  That's the spirit!  <Ring, Ring>
Death Stud, Soultaker, Rage Manalger, Ghoti:  Hello?
Yukon:  THERE CAN BE ONLY SCORD!  <Click>
Shadowgate:  We are doomed.
Yukon:  Yep.  Well, it was fun doing this show with you.  As far as radio show co-
hosts go, you make a really sucky T@#$ partner.
Shadowgate:  Thanks.  As a T@#$ partner, you make a really sucky radio show host.
Yukon:  It has been fun.  Good luck to everyone in the last turn and good luck in the
Mail-in.  If someone is ever silly enough to run T@#$ again, I look forward to
selling the rights to the TWIT show.  Goodnight all.

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ My Best Buds 2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Time having dwindled on yet another contest, it was going to be a tough time
deciding whether or not to continue in this arena.  The team had become a favorite
and he was thinking perhaps the team in Zorpunt might be ready to go on hiatus.
Trying to decide on keeping a fairly long fought team active or deactivating them to
continue to compete in a fairly new arena was proving very difficult.  Removing the
team from Zorpunt would certainly put them back on the commission's map as a possible
arena to be closed, on the other hand Aradi was teeming with managers and stables.
The only other real possibility would be to drop out of Zensu but the team there was
of a higher standard for sure.
     This was going to have to involve bringing in the team to discuss with them what
plans they had set forth and their wishes on staying active indefinitely, taking a
short break and hoping the time could be found to keep all teams active, or going
inactive altogether.  After all after the amount of work they went through to
prepare, not only initially for the contest when they were thrown together hastily,
but also for the amount of training the put in each week for the arena duels.  Indeed
it was only right to consult them on their future, as previously said, they certainly
deserved it.
     One by one they were brought in, and spoken to individually at first, to gather
their feelings on the situation as it stood.  Each warrior was allowed to state their
position, based on the facts given, with as much time as they felt they needed to
articulate themselves.  Then the veteran manager engaged each with a question and
answer session that varied in length, based on how the conversation went.  He excused
them to go and eat, or smoke, or whatever they felt like doing for a few hours and
were to gather for a team meeting with the manager.
     They gathered together, as they felt that this might be one of the last times
for a while that they could (as an official team), for one of their infamous "pow
wows".  The tray was passed to the senior member and he took forth the bag and
proceeded to do the job he knew they all wanted him to do.  As the first "cigareete"
was finished in preparation he passed it to his niece and she lit it, then passed it
to the next one in the circle.  None of them were sure if it was a particularly nice
harvest or if it was the situation but it seemed to taste sweeter than it had in the
past half year.  Each one marveled at it as they took slow shallow drags off it then
passed it down the line.
     Many hours passed and they were startled by the loud bellowing of their grizzled
trainer screaming to them that they were late for the meeting and to get their
"narrow butts" to the manager's study NOW!!!  The small white "tube" was placed into
a fancy ashtray to go out as they all scrambled to their feet and scurried out the
door, like cockroaches running from the light.  Stumbling and fumbling down the
hallway they meekly entered the study, fearing that their tardiness probably did not
bode well for making a positive impression.  Apologies were made but the manager was
certainly not oblivious to the fact that sometimes for the good of a team it's best
to let them be themselves.  The apologies were acknowledged and he motioned them all
to be seated.
     The five plopped into chairs, that the manager had set around his desk so each
would be as close as the others, and peered at the boss to try and get any hint of
what he was about to say.  He cleared his throat and looked closely at each one of
them and began to speak.
     "This is one of the harder decisions I've had to make in a long time...." the
speech began and went on for awhile with little real substance. "....For the time
being I am going to keep you active, though you may not all fight the same round, or
perhaps you will.  You will be given plenty of notice after each round who will, and
will not, fight each round so you may properly be prepared.  So until further notice
consider yourselves an active team!" he said with a hint of excitement.  The five
leaped from their seats and gathered in a group embrace, and after they were excused
they returned to their premeeting activity.  Where indeed each "cigarette" seemed to
taste sweeter and sweeter as the night went on!!!

                    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[  ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
        -----     -----     -----    Death Stud    -----     -----     -----

     The managers of the FONZ non-alliance were gathered together at the FONZ
guildhouse in a rare moment of alliance like cohesion.  They had been called together
at Death Stud's request for a "sooper secret last-turn-of-TOGS Aradi domination"
meeting.  Death Stud was finally tired of waiting for everyone to arrive and called
the existing group to attention.
     "It is good to see everyone again, at least those of us who could be bothered to
attend.  As you know, the last turn of the TOGS is upon us.  It has been a long,
hard-fought contest so far, but here we are with the chance to secure the TOGS 
championship and keep the Golden Scrod on our own mantle!"  Death Stud motioned to
the shiny fish trophy dramatically and paused to consider it for effect.  There was a
half-hearted cheer from the group.
     Soultaker stood up and pumped his chubby arm in the air, "Yee-ah!  Glory to the
mighty FONZ juggernaut and death to the DOA and BOB infidels!"
     Death Stud took his hand and patted it comfortingly.  "Yes, that's right, isn't
it, my dear Chromie?  But, you know what the doctor said about getting too excited,
though.  Why don't you sit down and take it easy, OK?"  Death Stud gently guided the
excitable octogenarian back to his seat where Soultaker returned immediately to
chainsmoking his Evercrack pipe.
     Death Stud turned back to the semi-attentive FONZites, "As our adorable spirit
leader so eloquently stated, I'm sure that none of us wants the DOA and their Evil
Emperor to win the TOGS and get their grubby mitts on the splendiferous and odiferous
Golden Scrod!"
     The enthusiasm from the FONZ friends was underwhelming.  Most of the group just
stared blankly, but Nuln busted loose with a wild, "Um yeah.  That would suck, I
guess."
     Death Stud continued on, undeterred.  "We need to get together, get a plan to
defeat the bad men and ensure that good triumphs over evil in the TOGS!"  Death Stud
tried to gauge how much support he could count on from he and Soultaker's non-
alliance buddies.
     Anti looked up from picking at his fingernails, "What were you saying?  Sorry,
but I've this damned hangnail that I just can't..."  He trailed off and went back to
his obsessing.  Snotman said, "You $@&% yourself," then leaned over to Hombre and
asked where Ganolus was today, when the next softball game was, and whether Hombre
had fun on his recent vacation.  Barnabas yawned, then got up and said that he had to
go and something about coming out or working out or something like that.  Nuln looked
around the room and shrugged, but gave Death Stud a half-hearted "bro" solidarity
gesture before returning to his game of FreeCell.  Death Stud sighed a resigned sigh.
He had not really expected anything else, but he had hoped in vain.
     Fear us, our competitors, for when you mess with the FONZ, you will feel the
full weight of our combined might.  We will strike you together, all FONZ fingers
clenching into a mighty FONZ fist to smite all who stand against us.

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Goose Is Loose, Still ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Wimpy and the Judge were still completely puzzled.  They had talked to dozens of
people in Aradi and no one could give them any help.  They still didn't know who
might have lost the label, Size 28 Extra Short.  This, as I am sure your recall, was
found in the Goose Roost after the gray Goose went missing.  Since the Goose has not
been able to supply Wimpy with strategy and tactics for the arena fights, Wimpy's
fighters have gone on a losing streak.  Wimpy is desperate.  He needs to locate the
Goose to get advice for the next round of TOGS.
     "Judge," began Wimpy. "I am sure the Goose has been goose-napped.  Some low
down, sneaky manager has taken him to keep the Wimps from winning fights and moving
up in the TOGS.  What am I gonna do?"
     "First, you are going to calm down.  You aren't going to get anywhere if you
have fit.  So, call in Festor Foureyes and have him make some nice tea."
     No sooner had the Judge gotten the words out of his mouth when the door opened
and Festor entered--carrying a tray with a teapot and two cups.  "Here you are, boss,
some nice hot tea."
     "Thanks Festor," Wimpy said then he did a double take.  "Wait just a minute.
How did you know I wanted tea?  Were you listening outside the door again?"
     "Of course, boss.  I always listen outside your door.  How else can I help you
solve the problems of the team?"
     Wimpy glared at Festor, then asked, "Ok if you are so smart what would you
suggest we do to find out who took the Goose?"
     "Well boss, the first thing I would do is find out who that suit label belongs
to."
     "And how do you suggest we do that smart arse?"
     "You need to hire a detective."
     "Where in the world would we find a detective?"  Asked Wimpy.
     "Both you are the Judge know a detective.  He manages a team in Solven."
     Both Wimpy and the Judge yelled at once, "Oh no.  Not Kellumbo."
     The Judge recovered first, "I wouldn't hire that unethical, disreputable, down
challenging reprobate to clean honey buckets."
     "Hold it, Judge," said Wimpy, "I agree with you that he is the most unprincipled
manager I have ever had the misfortune to meet, but I have heard that he is a very
good detective.  I think we should give him a try.  Would you take this label when
you back to Solven tonight and see what Kellumbo has to say.  Offer him this bag of
silver."  Wimpy said as he handed over a small bag of silver to the Judge.  "You know
he'll do anything for money."
     "Oh alright." The Judge said as he took the bag.  "I don't hold out much hope
that he can help us but I'll talk to him just for you.  Normally I don't even say
hello to the blighter."
     So the Judge went to Solven where he would talk to Kellumbo.  In a few days the
Judge was back.  He arrived at Wimpy's office all excited.
     "I've got the culprit, I've got the culprit." The Judge announced as he walked
through the door.  "You were right, Kellumbo is a good detective.  He figured it
out."
     "Who is it?" asked Wimpy
     "Size 28 Extra Short.  It can only be...Death Stud."

     So dear readers (both of you), what will Wimpy and the Judge do to get the Goose
back from Death Stud before TOGS is over?  Does he really have the Goose?  The
answers to these and other questions next time.  Join us for the thrilling days of
yesteryear.  From out of the past comes the thundering hoof beats of the great horse
Silver....  Whoops, a slight script mix-up.

    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Smokey Delta Nights:  Conclusion ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "Now, where was I?" asked Indimar as he came in the back door of The Scrod
Shoppe and returned to his seat at the table.  Having killed most of a twelve-pack of
Scrodbucks it was not surprising that his visits to the outhouse were coming at
shorter and shorter intervals.
     Elephant regarded his torn and tattered partner for a moment before replying.
The fear that still clutched at Indimar's heart seemed almost to hang over him like a
shadow.  Add no sleep and too many doubleshots and it was easy to understand why
Indimar had become increasingly wild-eyed throughout his narrative.  "You were lost
in the fog," he finally replied, "trying to find your way back to the road."
     "Right, right," said the somewhat husky Indimar. "Between the fog and constantly
having to work my way around thickets of brambles I must have gotten turned around
somehow and found myself back at the edge of the slough.  It was about this time I
became aware of noise in the woods back the way I had just come from.  I struck out
for the road at a more rapid pace this time.  After stumbling into a couple of thorn
bushes in my haste, I paused to listen for sounds of pursuit.  Not only could I still
hear rustling in the undergrowth behind me, it sounded even closer than before.  I
hurried along blindly after that, more concerned with staying ahead of the beast I
was now certain had my scent than heading straight for the road.  I ended up back at
the slough three more times last night, once I was in water up to my thighs before I
realized I had gotten turned around again."
     "Did you ever catch sight of whatever was behind you?" asked Elephant.
     "No, but what I heard was more than enough for me," replied Indimar with a
shudder.  I led the demon on a merry chase, if I may say so," he bragged to Elephant.
As last night's fear faded to memory, Indimar's tale began to take a different tone.
"That giant muskrat was right on my tail, I could hear him coughing and wheezing as
he crashed through the undergrowth, but I was too fast for him.  Once I was sure I
could stay ahead of the vile creature I was able to relax and let my direction sense
guide me back to the road.  After that it was a quick six mile jog back to town and
here you find me, the first to survive a run-in with the giant demon muskrat of Scrod
Plant Slough without a scratch!"
     As Indimar finished his story the back door of the shop banged open and Barnabas
barged in.  "So you did make it home," he bellowed as he swaggered to where Elephant
and Indimar were sitting.  "I tried to tell you that you were too hopped up on Pip's
dip to be riding home in the dark, son."
     "What could spinach dip have to do with my run in with the giant muskrat?" asked
Indimar.
     "SPINACH DIP!?!  GIANT MUSKRAT!?!  You are green, ain't you, son?  That dip was
pure scrod plant, and as for the demon muskrat, hell, that was just a story Pip and I
made up to keep people from nosin' around our scrod plant patches.  After your horse
showed up at my place I rode down the road and found where he had bolted off toward
the slough.  By the time I found where you fell off you were moving again.  I tried
to catch up with you, but you move pretty good for a somewhat husky guy.  When I got
back to the road you were long gone and I figured the walk back to town was a fair
price for the chase you led me on."
     "But something had to have scared my horse for him to bolt like that," protested
Indimar.  "How do you explain that?"
     "I found this laying in the road where your horse spooked," said Barnabas as he
reached into a sack hanging from his belt and pulled out a dead snake.
     "That's the snake Pip showed me last night," cried Indimar.
     "Wait a minute," interrupted Elephant.  "Pip's dip, Pip's muskrat story, Pip's
dead snake?  You know what this means, don't you?"
     "Yes, I know exactly what it means," said Indimar in disgust.  "This is all
Pip's fault."

                    + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[  ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                    ----- ----- ----- Soultaker ----- ----- -----

     Other then the fanatical ravings coming from the DOA area, the entire crowd
stood in respectful silence.  A few ohhh's and ahhh's were heard coming from the
masses as Death Stud made his way to the peak of the mount.
     Understanding how to make an entrance and hold the attention of a crowd was
surely one of Death Stud's better attributes.  When he was sure all eyes were on him,
Death Stud let out an ear piercing shriek and lifted his arms to the sky.  As the
crowd gasped in startled shock, they all looked to the sky as if some miraculous
manifestation were going to transpire.  In that same moment, a small bush just to the
left of the miniature messiah burst into flames. Death Stud made a big showing of
being amazed by the sudden action.  "It is the sign that I have been waiting for to
prove to all of you the true path to managerial success," cried out Death Stud as he
reached forward into the flaming bush.
     As the crowd gasped in astonishment, Death Stud pulled from the flames two small
tablets.  Hold one tablet in each hand, Death Stud held them out towards the crowd.
The minute manager began to gyrate and move as if in convulsions.  As he opened his
mouth to speak, a strange language burst forth as if he was speaking in tongues.  The
crowd was now mesmerized as the diminutive demi-god continued to rant on.  After a
few minutes of gibberish, Death Stud spoke out in a clear voice grabbing everyone's
undivided attention.  "It is as I promised.  I hold in my hands, the rules set forth
for tournament success.  These are the ten simple commandments that I have followed
and as you have seen with your own eyes they are the rules sent forth from the gods,"
Death Stud feverishly proclaimed.
     "FALSE PROPHET," screamed Manalger.  "How can you people buy into this cheap
theatrical charade?  I am the one that is the true master of success."  Manalger
lurched to a standing position, with the help of His two lackeys Yukon and
Shadowgate.  "I am the one that turned this sow's ear into a silk purse," Manalger
waved his hand over in the direction of LHI.  "I took a wannabe manager and molded
him into a real threat.  I am the one that directed the flow of his wealth into
proper recruitment.  I am also the one that took a minor successful camp follower
into a major player in the tournament champion circles," again he waved his hand for
the crowd to see Ivy.  She was staring back in horror at the ramblings of her
proclaimed leader.  "I was even able to encourage the disassembly of the MoD alliance
to be able to bring under my superior tutelage Shadowgate.  He was a diamond in the
raw but I was able to see through the coal.  Look at what I was able to do for D-
Mobster.  A relative unknown struggling manager with little or no ability to train
warriors until I was able to steer him in the right direction," Manalger began to
froth at the mouth as his voice wavered between screaming and crying.  "I am the one
that should be standing up there.  I sent over 50 warriors to the tournament.  I am
the one circling the known world recruiting only the best.  I am the one that has all
the money," Manalger ranted on and on.  "Death Stud didn't even send more than 25
warriors.  His pitiful alliance or non-alliance is little more than a gathering of
nobodies that hang out together.  Hell, they don't even work at bringing honor to
this profession.  I am the one that is the best of the best.  I am the current
manager of the Primus tournament champion.  It is not Death Stud, Doc Steele, Neon,
Guardian, or Hoffa, it is I that rules," Manalger was gasping for breath as he ranted
on.  Shadowgate and Yukon rushed to his side to support the raving red-faced Rageman.

              + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Five Spheres ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Okay, missed a turn last week but my team finally fought up to its potential.
     I had grand plans to finish the Nulnita saga with a confrontation between Death
Stud, Hombre and between Ganolus and his erectile dysfunction but life's gotten in
the way.
     I have to write a qualifying spotlight or Nuln will hold his breath until he
turns blue.  I know that you don't want that.
     Before I begin this fantastic spotlight I would like to clear up some
misconceptions:

     1.  While it may seem that Nuln carried team 7, often winning twice as many
         fights per turn, this was by design.  I purposefully wrote sucky strategies
         and/or made bad challenges just so Nuln would look good.
     2.  The turn where I wrote a spotlight 1 line too short was also intentional.  I
         was testing how well Ganolus could count.  If I had been right, everyone
         could have written 29 line spotlights.  My 5 point sacrifice was for all of
         you.
     3.  Guardian sent me a birthday card.  He only pretends to hate all other life
         forms.
     4.  While it may seem that the only styles that I had any success with have been
         offensive styles running 10-10-7 or scum, this too was a ruse.  I have two
         teams of bad-ashe Parry-Riposte with an average of 112 learned skills each.  
         I'm saving them for next TOGS (now accepting partner applications but Nuln
         gets priority).
     5.  Sea Monkeys aren't really monkeys.

On to the spotlight!

     You may remember that two turns ago the managers of Team 7 had a bit of a tiff.
There were words exchanged and a Yugo got busted up but other than that, not great
shakes.  This turn our two heroes meet to discuss their last turn.  Their meeting
will last no less than 12 lines.
     Darkness fell suddenly and storm clouds rolled in.  Lightning flashed and
thunder crashed and Nuln arrived at the CAVE OF DESTINY.  He pulled off his wellies
and went inside to meet his TOGS partner, Voyde the Mighty.
     The Mighty one had arrived first and was waiting for the Chaos Master who, being
a creature of chaos, wasn't the most punctual person on the planet.
     "Sorryeth that I'm lateth.  I had to taketh the buseth."
     "Your Yugo still missing?"
     "Yeseth but I've been searchingeth for it at Farmer boB's.  No lucketh so far."
     "I'll bet...."
     The Mighty one left the rest of the comment hanging, not wanting to stir up any
images of Nuln and his 'searching'.
     "I thinketh that you've written enougheth."
     "It's a good thing because it was really starting to go downhill after the Sea
Monkeys."
     "It alwayseth does."

+ ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Snotman and the Spooky Kids part Thirteen ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Snotman lay against a rock, where the bandits had tossed him.  His arms were
bound behind his back and he couldn't right himself.  But he was more concerned about
Indimar.  The bandits had produced a giant cauldron and placed it over the campfire,
which they had stoked back to life.  The part that really disturbed Snotman was that
they were looking at Indimar a lot as they stirred spices into the pot.
     Indimar began protesting, "You can't cook me.  Look, if you are hungry, we have
food and supplies."
     The tall bandit with the patch just grinned, "What can I say, after all this
time up in the Dragon Spine Mountains, we have developed a taste for soft Aradi
flesh."
     Indimar begged, "At least eat the horses instead of me!"
     The bandits burst into laughter, "The horse is way more useful to us than you
are.  It's the pot for you."
     Indimar tried one more time, "What about him, he's soft and succulent?"
     The bandits pointed at Snotman, "Have you seen him?  He has some sort of strange
disease.  We aren't eating that!"
     Snotman cursed under his breath.  Indimar was going to owe him big time for that
one.  Clenching his eyes really tight, Snotman willed his slime production to
increase, at the same time rolling over so that it all dripped back onto the ropes.
It was only a few minutes before the extra slime power started dissolving the tough
rope.
     Meanwhile the bandits had stripped Indimar naked and were rubbing him down with
salt, pepper and other spices.  He protested vigorously, and it required 4 or 5
bandits to hold him down.  This provided Snotman all the distraction he needed.  Once
the rope had dissolved enough that he could snap the remaining strands, his first
thought was the map.  Thankfully all of the bandits were occupied with the spectacle
of Indimar, now bright red from the spices.
     Snotman was able to creep over to his pack and pull out a bottle of Torchfire.
Then he grabbed some of Indimar's special smoking herb out of Indimar's bag.  He
soaked the herb in Torchfire and then crept back to the campfire.  The bandits were
dying with laughter at the attempts of their cook to stuff Indimar with a carrot.  No
matter how many bandits held him down, Indimar bravely fought off their stuffing
attempts.  With the bandits thus distracted, Snotman threw the soaked herb on the
fire.  Immediately it flared up and smoke began billowing.  Before the bandits
noticed, Snotman ducked behind a rock and flung the bottle of Torchfire in the fire.
The results were tremendous.  An enormous roll of thunder echoed through the
mountainside and everyone was knocked to the ground by the fireball that had
blossomed.
     Several of the closest bandits were screaming as parts of their clothing and
hair caught on fire.  Snotman used the confusion and smoke to sprint over to Indimar,
as fast as his little legs could carry him.  He pulled Indimar to his feet and
started guiding him through the smoke to where the packs were.  Because of his
abnormally short stature, Snotman was below the worst of the smoke and thus could see
and breathe better than the bandits.  They made it to packs without incident.
     Snotman whispered hurriedly, "Put on both packs, we need to travel as quickly as
possible."
     Indimar, still dazed from the blast, put both packs on.  As they turned to flee,
they saw that the bandit leader was blocking their path.  He opened his mouth to
gloat and Snotman drove both his fists upward in a double nutcracker.
     The bandit's eye glazed over and he slumped to the ground.  Indimar reached down
and pulled out the bandit's knife and stuck it in his one good eye.  As he stepped
over the prone bandit he proclaimed, "That'll teach you to try and stuff this
turkey!"
     Then they headed off into the night, one small naked man, covered in slime, one
rotund naked man, covered in roast rub, carrying two large packs.

Though the TOGS is done, I will continue this story.  Although it certainly won't be
every turn, I will write as inspiration hits.  I hope that everyone had a blast
during the TOGS and continues to write.

                + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Part XIII ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                  by Pip T.F. Troll

     Pip walked towards his bridge.  The orphan trollkins had completed their task,
and he was eager to get there.  Once Pip had learned that the only penalty for
stealing in Aradi was having your hand cut off, he had set the orphan trollkins on
their mission.  He neared the bridge and one of the trollkins saw him, grabbed a
small black bag, and began walking towards him.  "Here it is." said the trollkin.
Pip wasn't sure of this trollkin's name, so he looked down at his nametag.  He'd
swiped the nametags from the gladiatorial commission, so all the trollkins were named
after managers.
     "Thanks, Judge." he said to the trollkin.  Pip took the bag and smiled.  The
trollkins crowded around and demanded a story.  "I can do better than a story, I can
show you this.  Pip pulled a small ball from within the bag.
     "What's that?" asked Nuln the trollkin.
     "It's Manager's ball of prediction.  See, it's my fault he doesn't give
predictions anymore.  It's basically a crystal ball." explained Pip.
     "What can you show us in it?" asked DeGotti the trollkin, whose name had to be
in a spotlight for him to read it.
     "Well, recently I learned Soultaker is controlling the Chaos Lord Nuln, by
inhibiting his rage with a device.  Without his rage, Nuln has lost his Chaos powers,
his desire to succeed, and his credibility.  I've begun jamming Soultaker's device, I
started early this morning.  We can watch in on him, and see what happens.  His rage
should be returning shortly."
     Pip and the trollkins looked into the crystal ball.  After a bit of swirling and
a fancy light show, the ball zoomed in on Nuln.  He was with the rest of the FONZ.
It looked like they were helping someone move.  Soultaker seemed to be in charge.
"Barnabas, go help them unload the wagon." Soultaker yelled.
     "You got it boss." replied Barnabas, and he moved towards the wagon.  "Get out
of the way, you're doing it wrong." he said, as he shooed the rest of the FONZ away
from the wagon.  "It's not even lined up right." he said, as he hopped in, and pulled
the wagon forward and to the right.  He then backed up the pickup wagon at full
speed, and slammed on the brakes; all the stuff flying out the back of the wagon.  He
grabbed a lawn chair out of the pile, sat down, and cracked a beer.  "I unloaded the
wagon, now you guys bring all this stuff inside."
     Soultaker cringed, apparently he was the one who was moving.  "I need a drink."
he said.  "Inferno, bring me a lemonade." he yelled to Inferno, while pulling a lawn
chair for himself out of the pile.
     He looked over at Nuln.  Nuln was standing there with his hand in the air,
moving it forward, then back, over and over.  "What the hell is he doing?" Soultaker
asked, then he looked to his left.  He saw Ganolus flying backwards and slamming into
a tree.  Ganolus then flew forward a few feet, then slammed into the tree again.  All
in perfect time with Nuln's hand.  "Nuln, stop that!" yelled Soultaker.
     "Stop what?" asked Nuln.  "I'm just moving my hand." he said, moving his hand
faster to make his point.  Ganolus slammed into the tree faster as well.
     "Inferno, where's my drink!?" Soultaker yelled.  This was obviously not
Soultaker's day, he looked all stressed out.
     "Here you go." Inferno said, handing Soultaker his lemonade.
     Soultaker took a sip, and promptly spit it out.  "Dammit Inferno, lemonade is on
the left, specimens on the right!" he yelled.
     "But that was from the left, it's Nuln's new organic cruelty free lemonade."
protested Inferno.
     "I know what organic is, but cruelty free?  How do you make lemonade cruelty
free?" asked Soultaker.
     "I think they let the lemons ripen and fall from the tree, then nearly decompose
on the ground before being harvested.  Much less cruel for the lemons, at least
that's what Nuln has been telling us." answered Inferno.
     Soultaker appeared to be visibly enraged just as the crystal ball cut out.  "I
guess there're limitations to the device." said Pip.  He put the ball back in its
bag, and started walking away.  "I've got to go now, time to prepare for this week's
fights."

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ "The Approach" (Part 2) ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Rainyer kept the others in check behind the determined wraith.  Onedawg led the
line of reluctant adventurers up through a tight ravine below a broken copse of trees
overhead.  The ravine was more of a rift wherein the roots of the surrounding trees
protruded from the ravine walls like giant fingers of some unseen hand.
     Krells was practically Rainyer's shadow as the procession moved on, stepping
only when Rainyer did and being careful not to stray too far from behind the dour
dandy.  Rainyer's expression had been dark and troubled ever since the group and
disembarked from the Lawndocker.  An almost preternatural darkness welled in the
spaces around Fash's eyes.
     Trist came striding behind Krells, walking on the balls of her feet and stepping
right where she needed to in order to not make any noise.  Her cat-like eyes prowled
the ravine's ridge overhead as she crept along, practically daring anything hidden
there to jump forth with the look of abject aggression that she wore like a mask.
     Captain Avboreu Stimbottom, however, was the least at home.  On board his ship,
the Lawndocker, then could he be at ease and in command of even the most terrifying
situations, but here on land (and in such a god-forsaken place), he was all but a
mouse--quiet and tittering with anxiety.
     The Last Scion of the Da'awginori froze in place as a sound of mutterings echoed
in his mind....
          Three pairs of eyes that were filled with grief,
          and three pairs of eyes that would not know relief,
          there, witnessed a hand coming up from the death,
          flexing for freedom, needing life's breath.
     Onedawg's form became even more transparent in front of the group as his arms
stretched out and became flowing tendrils of white fire.  The vague images of his
incorporeal legs erupted into twisting torrents of white fire, and his head and back
were alight with a glow that seemed to show them things they could only see in
dreams.  If they had seen Onedawg's face, they would have seen him smile.
     Krell's eyes went wide as coins and he leapt back and made as fast a sprint away
from the awful wraith as he could manage.  Rainyer and Avboreu fell back from the
wraith's sudden display and Trist hunkered down ready to move if something more
should happen.  Then, as quickly as it had begun, the white-fire-lit-Onedawg was a
simple robed man standing with his back to them.
     Without turning his back to them, Onedawg spoke, "We have reached the farthest
reaches of the Chaos Gate's aura--we are close to the center.  The captain will not
be joining us, but we must move on."
     Avboreu gave Rainyer a pleading look to run, but Rainyer only looked back at the
continuing Onedawg, shaking his head with the knowledge that he could not turn back.
Thus, it was that Rainyer, Trist, and Avboreu followed Onedawg until the end.
     A short while later, the four of them came upon a small plateau flagged by
ancient crags of flowstone and rimmed by steaming craters.  Rainyer knew they weren't
in Aradi anymore.  Onedawg, in his robes of a high servant to the Chaos, stepped
between two dolmens of flowstone and placed his hands on the sides of each.
Suddenly, the landscape stretched out in all directions around them--flat,
nondescript wasteland as far as the eye could see.  Rainyer, Trist, and the captain
spun about in fear-stricken awe at their new surroundings, and spread back from the
center of the plateau to make way for its newest inhabitant--the Eye in the Hand.
     "At long last, good servant," a voice from the Hand emanated to all, "you have
transcended the cursed form given to you by your ancestors of the Shagornen Desert."
     Rainyer and Trist exchanged befuddled glances at the mention of the far away
desert.
     Onedawg pulled himself from the crags obviously spent by the summoning of the
Hand.  He shook his head clear, as if for the first time, "You!  You are the one
responsible for my condition--my penance!"
     The Hand chuckled warmly, as if refreshed by Onedawg's naivete.  "Of course not,
my foolish pet, your 'penance' as you call it is merely a figment of your own
egocentric imagination.  After all, you can't possible believe this all happened
because of you?"
     Onedawg gawked at the question, unable to respond.
     "No," the Hand concluded for itself.  "You are what I have come to term the
'Doorholder' for your people.  There have been others.  You help to bring forth the
Great Progenitors of your race--a race that I have used as my subjects, and to
execute my will across untold worlds and untold millenia.  I mainly use your kind to
inject some sort of upheaval or great change that I see fit to indulge in from time
to time.  You are my creation.  There are rules, however, for I am not as omnipotent
as I would like to be, and it seems that your kind are always a little too vehement
in forming some kind of change in the worlds I inject you into.  As such, your race
tends to die off quite quickly, and I must endeavor to preserve your kind by
instilling two of your number with great powers of reproduction and reinjecting them
to start anew every few hundred years or so."
     The Hand was silent for a moment, letting things to sink in.
     Onedawg and the others were mere blinking nothings of their former selves--the
knowledge being spewed forth too great to comprehend.
     "There is a price for all this, though," the Hand emanated.
     Rainyer, Trist, and Avboreu fell lifeless to the ground.  Onedawg whirled at the
sound of their dropping bodies and cried out, some amount of understanding leaking
into his thoughts from the deep past.
     "Does it make sense now?" the Hand asked almost teasingly.
          Three pairs of eyes that were filled with grief,
          and three pairs of eyes that would not know relief,
          there, witnessed a hand coming up from the death,
          flexing for freedom, needing life's breath.
     Onedawg turned back to the Eye in the Hand and saw Fourdawg Firm Fist and
Tendawg Running Heart standing next to it.
     "These are the Great Progenitors, Onedawg," the Hand explained, "but I think you
already knew that."
     Onedawg twitched.  For the first time, he realized that he was mortal again.
Onedawg looked up at Fourdawg, now standing in front of him, and saw his ancestor
smile.
     "You have done well, you have secured our kind's survival for another hundred
years or more," Fourdawg greeted him.
     "Only another hundred years?" the Hand asked amused.  "Oh no, much more than
that, I'm afraid, I have great plans ahead for the lot of you."
     "I think not," Fourdawg announced, spinning on his heel to hurl a spear that
suddenly appeared in his hand, summoned by sheer thought alone, into the Eye.  The
unexpected attack broke the eerie planar silence that covered the land with a
shrieking cry and sundered the Eye in the Hand's control over the realm.  With a
concussive blast of energy, the Hand disappeared.
     "Come, our son," Tendawg yelled over the maelstrom that was forming, "Let us
away from this place of servitude and start our life in some other land of freedom!
We have learned how to travel the ribbons of space between the planes, you need only
join us!"
     Onedawg was stuck with indecision, surprise and confusion overwhelming.
     Fourdawg then reached out and grabbed Onedawg's wrist and yanked him along after
Tendawg as they disappeared behind the closing Chaos Gate.
     A pair of hidden eyes slipped away from the scene as it ended.
                                        ****
     Days later, the mute cripple named Krells returned to Aradi, the only witness to
the event that had happened that fearsome day.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Greetings all,

Well that wasn't really the way I wanted to hold the throne but Anti insisted that I
keep those Red Avenger guys off of top so, sorry, Jarlaxle, but ya had to take one
for the greater good.  I may call on you to take another lump but if so I'll try to
pull my punches.

As for you Brak, eh, if you want a rematch then I'll see how things look in another
turn or so.  But to be frank it's not at the top of my list of priorities.  Such is
life.

Anyways, good luck to all fighting in this last turn of the TOGS, see you on the
sands.

Gummi Ghoul
DM for two turns

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
ARADI brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  With any luck, I can sneak into The 
Victory Tavern and join THE UNDERWORLD's celebration over their good record this 
turn.  14th place, not bad.  Oh, this is too good to be true!  NATURAL DISASTERS has 
fallen to 16th place after going 2-3-0 this turn.  Who's bragging now?  If The 
Victory Tavern is buying drinks for RED DOG GANG's good turn, I'm afraid the place 
will be dry before long.  A 3-0-0 makes for a big thirst.  Why not, I'm having a good 
day, so I feel sorry for LUROCIANS VI, who went 0-5-0 and dropped 13 into 22nd.  
Here's my pity, for what it's worth.  Gee, I'm impressed, a 5-0-0 is nice, but don't 
get cocky, POWER BROKERS, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates are proud.  Of 
course, we're all terribly impressed to see ACK ACK win a fight and gain 19 points, 
terribly.  Tsk, tsk, ACK ACK beat OBITER DICTA and OBITER DICTA lost 17 points.  
You're breakin' my heart.  THORNE challenged ARADI's Duelmaster for a shot at the 
throne.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as THORNE takes the Title and 
last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  Kickbacks and bribes, 
kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their fights?  
Skill?  Ha!   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  DEMONS 
OF DARKNESS 2, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided 
team.  Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And it looks like LEGALESE 
avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  
Hmph.  LLUPERIOR LLORCES was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  
Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to 
NOODLES of RED AVENGERS for challenging up by 25 to CYCLONE.  NOODLES won to get 91 
points of recognition.   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  It's about time LLUPERIOR LLORCES got beat for 
picking on warriors like HELMS.  Bravo, POWER BROKERS.  See you at The Victory 
Tavern.  A big yahoo goes out to QUICKSAND this turn, for revenging NATURAL 
DISASTERS' bloodfeud against FACES OF ETERNITY's warrior QUETZACOATYL.  Heh, heh, 
heh.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing these 
kinds of weapons?   
     What does the ARADI arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Just wait 'till next time I show 
up here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide 
Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THORNE 5259                  16   4  0   122       FA CHING (388)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 QUICKSAND 6554               18   7  1   119       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-RIFF 6452                    12   6  3   116       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 BRAK 94                      16  13  1   109       THE UNDERWORLD (15)
 ACK ACK 837                  13   8  3   105       THE UNDERWORLD (15)
 THE AYL'M'ER 6056            16  16  1   103       4000 BLOWS (107)
 GUMMI GHOUL 6411             14   5  1   101       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-HEADROCK 3430                19  19  0    98       OGRES ARE US (270)
 LORD OF THE O RINGS 6022     23  15  1    94       WILD CARDS (148)
 NEWCASTLE 6669               11   5  4    93       BEERBARIANS (528)
 TRIPLICATE THUNDER 6616      14   9  0    91       WILD CARDS (148)
 NOODLES 6247                  6   7  0    91       RED AVENGERS (487)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AVIENDHA 4721                19  25  0    90       FA CHING (388)
 DREK 836                     10  11  1    88       THE UNDERWORLD (15)
 SANDSTORM 6813               10   5  0    88       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 SUPERNOVA 6239                9   4  0    88       RED AVENGERS (487)
 CYVIN 5258                   13   9  1    86       FA CHING (388)
-WIND 5906                    12   5  0    86       FIVE SPHERES (462)
 OBITER DICTA 5860            13  11  1    84       LEGALESE (449)
 BLUE BEANIE 6461             13  12  1    82       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 CYCLONE 6816                 10   5  0    77       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 4-FT PARTY BONG 6908          9   5  0    77       MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)
 LACHES 5642                  14  17  0    74       LEGALESE (449)
 MURRAY 6661                  12   7  0    74       POWER BROKERS (527)
 MARBURY 4499                 16   9  0    72       LOCK-OUT (368)
-SMIRLIN 6568                 13  13  0    71       OGRES ARE US (270)
 MISTRESS BOMBTRONIC 6617     14   9  1    70       WILD CARDS (148)
-LEO 6837                      8   2  0    68       DARQUE AGES (536)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NAPPY DUGOUT 6080            15  20  1    66       WILD CARDS (148)
 WHITE RAVEN 6484             14  12  1    66       SHADOW SIGNS (491)
 HELMS 6660                   11   9  3    66       POWER BROKERS (527)
 LLUPERIOR LLORCES 5956       10   6  1    66       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 LLUGS AND LLISSES 5887       11  12  1    64       LUROCIANS VI (431)
-TALON 6736                    7   6  0    64       WING HOVE (529)
 TOGS REPLACEMENT 7045         6   1  0    63       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 BONG 6980                    10   2  0    62       I'M WITH STUPID (531)
 TOGS STINKER 6588            12   7  0    61       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 GOLDFISH 6718                10   9  0    61       SHADOW SIGNS (491)
 FRUB 6794                     9   8  0    61       WIMPS OF DEATH (66)
 TYPHOON XXII 6827            12   2  0    60       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 ANGRY SANTA 6828             11   3  0    57       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEMURRER 5828                13  15  2    56       LEGALESE (449)
-SYDA HAMMIE 6667             12   7  0    56       OGRES ARE US (270)
 BING 6979                    10   2  0    56       I'M WITH STUPID (531)
 ORIGINAL SHOCKER 6959         8   5  0    56       WILD CARDS (148)
 SHARP STICK 6949              7   6  0    56       I'M WITH STUPID (531)
 EDDIE THE ECHO 3770           6   6  1    56       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 SON OF BLOODLUST 6823        11   5  0    54       4000 BLOWS (107)
 LLUCKY DAY 6021               8   8  0    54       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 FREEP 6812                   10   6  0    53       WIMPS OF DEATH (66)
 ZERBERT 6243                 10   3  0    53       RED AVENGERS (487)
 BARON 6765                   11   7  2    52       LOCK-OUT (368)
 T-MAC 6806                    8   9  1    50       LOCK-OUT (368)
 ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412       7  11  0    50       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 INSISTANT BEGGAR 6630         8   9  0    47       BUMS 'R' US (465)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DERRIN 6952                   6   4  0    47       WING HOVE (529)
 SCRAG 6972                    7   5  0    46       LOSERS (544)
-TAY STARLE 6808               6   6  2    46       WING HOVE (529)
 DUNNO 6988                    6   5  0    46       HIT ME WITH... (503)
 URBAN 7035                    8   0  0    45       DARQUE AGES (536)
 THE-SHOCKER 6824              6   8  0    44       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 URLGEN THREE-FIST 7019        4   5  1    43       FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)
 ZYLLEIX'S SHADE 6939          4   8  0    43       SHADOW SIGNS (491)
-HERROL 6694                   8   6  0    42       WING HOVE (529)
 GROVER 7004                   6   4  0    41       I'M WITH STUPID (531)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413             5  12  0    41       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-SANDY BEACH 6957              5   2  0    41       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 TOSSED SALAD 6987             5   6  0    41       HIT ME WITH... (503)
 TOGS WINNER 7137              3   1  0    41       RED AVENGERS (487)
 THE GREEK GUY 6179            6   1  0    40       I HATE THEM (480)
 PIKEL 5808                    9  10  0    38       FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)
-HOSCHA 6835                   7   6  0    38       OGRES ARE US (270)
-RIP RAP 6599                  7   7  0    38       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 ASSHE-MASTER 7000             8   3  0    37       4000 BLOWS (107)
 FLORIN FALCONHAND 5750        7  14  0    35       FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)
 DOVE FALCONHAND 5770          6  14  1    35       FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)
 MARDUK 6863                   6   8  1    35       FACES OF ETERNITY (539)
 WILDFIRE 6983                 6   5  0    35       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-WURL POOLE 6799               3   2  0    34       SWIFT CURRENT (468)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 XXX 6975                      9   3  0    33       SHADOW SIGNS (491)
 QUETZACOATYL 6865             4  10  2    33       FACES OF ETERNITY (539)
 INDIMAR'S FAXMACHINE 7013     3   6  0    33       HIT ME WITH... (503)
-JAMIS 6735                    5   8  1    32       WING HOVE (529)
 DUKE 7090                     3   3  0    31       RED DOG GANG (476)
 VIKEN 6943                    6   7  1    30       LOSERS (544)
 LIMPY LIMPY 7046              2   4  0    30       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 FLICKED BOOGERS 6989          7   4  0    29       HIT ME WITH... (503)
 PRETTY BOY 7091               4   2  0    29       RED DOG GANG (476)
 SPED 6803                     3   4  0    29       BUMS 'R' US (465)
 DR. FEELGOOD 7130             2   3  0    29       MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)
 KERRY 7141                    4   0  0    28       POWER BROKERS (527)
-LOUKMAD 7042                  2   4  0    28       OGRES ARE US (270)
 TWICKLEBUM 6992               5   6  0    27       WIMPS OF DEATH (66)
-Z=ENTER THESE 7079            3   0  0    27       MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)
 PIP THE TROLL 6942            6   7  1    26       LOSERS (544)
 BUSTED NUTS 7134              3   1  0    26       HIT ME WITH... (503)
 ZIGGERZAG 7153                3   0  0    25       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 TRUST FUND BABY 6951          1   6  0    25       BUMS 'R' US (465)
-WATER 5905                    6   6  0    24       FIVE SPHERES (462)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-GRAFFIX 6909                  5   8  0    23       MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)
-JARLAXLE 7066                 3   2  1    23       MELEE-MAGTHERE (549)
 WEED 4 MOM 6984               5   7  0    22       LOCK-OUT (368)
 TELLY 7135                    3   1  0    22       I'M WITH STUPID (531)
-BLAZE 7155                    1   1  0    22       FIVE SPHERES (462)
-RYLD 7067                     1   4  0    22       MELEE-MAGTHERE (549)
-VOHDE 7040                    4   3  0    21       FIVE SPHERES (462)
 MANAGER 7094                  2   4  0    21       LOSERS (544)
 MAIMONIDES 7010               3   7  0    20       FACES OF ETERNITY (539)
-HARSIESUS 6871                1   0  0    20       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 SILVER BELLS 7014             5   4  0    19       SHADOW SIGNS (491)
 CLINTON 7146                  2   1  0    19       POWER BROKERS (527)
 QUEENIE 7093                  3   3  0    18       RED DOG GANG (476)
 BARBIEDOLL LUST 7157          2   0  0    17       FA CHING (388)
 CORTEZ 7156                   2   1  0    17       FACES OF ETERNITY (539)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IVAN 7043                     4   4  0    16       FORGOTTEN REALMS (185)
 LLAPPY LLILMORE 7133          3   1  0    16       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 ANASTASIUS II 7117            2   4  0    15       DARQUE AGES (536)
-LOTUS BLOSSOM 7080            2   1  0    15       MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)
 NULN 7159                     1   0  1    14       I HATE THEM (480)
 VERDICT 7069                  2   5  0    13       LEGALESE (449)
 LOTT 7145                     2   1  0    13       POWER BROKERS (527)
 ONE-TIMER 7169                1   0  0    13       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 ERIK THE RED 7041             2   6  0    12       FACES OF ETERNITY (539)
-ROCKY BANKS 7073              1   2  0    12       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 TELESPHORUS 7071              2   5  0    11       DARQUE AGES (536)
-VAJRA HAMMER 7076             2   1  0    11       MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)
 TOGS DIXIE 7084               2   4  0    11       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-DUST 7142                     1   2  0    11       FIVE SPHERES (462)
 CANDLEWIC 7165                1   1  0    10       4000 BLOWS (107)
-ZIG-ZAG MAN 7083              2   2  0     9       MY BEST BUDS 2 (542)
 BRUSHFIRE 7168                0   1  0     9       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-X=WHERE'S MY BEER? 7077       2   1  0     7       MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)
 ROT GUT 7154                  2   1  0     7       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-Y=GET ME THIS ONE 7078        1   2  0     5       MALAQUAR'S MINIONS (550)
 PRINCE EHRYE 7164             1   0  0     5       THE UNDERWORLD (15)
 ASSURNASIRBANIPAL 7149        0   1  0     5       I HATE THEM (480)
 NUDNIK 7162                   1   1  0     4       WIMPS OF DEATH (66)
 OWL-LEN-L-NER 7143            0   4  0     4       LOCK-OUT (368)
 TOGS DESPERATION 7136         0   4  0     4       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 NUHRII 7127                   0   4  0     4       THE UNDERWORLD (15)
-M'TARL 7138                   0   2  0     3       MELEE-MAGTHERE (549)
 CRYPT QUEEN 7158              0   2  0     2       FA CHING (388)
 ONE FOR ALL 7172              0   1  0     1       RED AVENGERS (487)
 DESTITUTE NOBLE 7161          0   1  0     1       I HATE THEM (480)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FRIENDLY CONSTABLE 2   0  1 0   1                   NULN 7159             336 NONE    
LANCELOT 6867          4  7 0 FACES OF ETERNITY 539 NAMBY PAMBY 6977      333 NONE    
FLAME 7017             3  3 0 FIVE SPHERES 462      T-MAC 6806            333         
UNCLE CHARLIE 7170     0  1 0 I HATE THEM 480       SPYMASTER 22          336 NONE    
NEON NECROMANCER 7163  0  2 0 LOSERS 544            GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    336 NONE    
VOLCANO 7048           3  3 0 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 QUETZACOATYL 6865     335 JUST REV
MC CAIN 6662           9  8 0 POWER BROKERS 527     LLUPERIOR LLORCE 5956 333 JUST REV
SIRIUS 6193           17 24 1 RED DOG GANG 476      ACK ACK 837           332 NOT REVE
PHYDEAU 7092           0  2 0 RED DOG GANG 476      SUGAR 7128            332 NOT REVE
SQUIRTY JOE 7008       1  5 0 THE UPSTARTS III 510  JARLAXLE 7066         333 REVENGED
PIPSQUEAK 6810         8  5 0 WIMPS OF DEATH 66     BARON 6765            333         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Pip -- Actually that's just a cover story.  We're more of an autonomous collective.
-- Guardian

Soultaker -- That is absolutely not true.  We invited Pip because his particular
skills filled a need for us (he's the fall guy). -- Guardian

Death Stud -- If you knew the particulars of my warriors you would not believe that
the top 4-5 teams still were in this thing.  Team 11 will be happy if we can maintain
our slipping grasp on fourth place. -- Rillion

Well, I found my missing ad from two turns ago, it ended up in DM 4.  Most likely my
fault and not worth bothering to investigate since TGG and I are just coasting into
the finish line at this point. -- Rillion

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!! -- I musta found Indimar's Fax Machine! -- Ghoti

Soultaker -- Thanks for the praise on the spotlight.  I'm going to do my best to make
it a regular thing. -- Mad Max

Soultaker -- That was a low blow.  Of course those "low" ones are the only shots that
you can land, being vertically challenged and all. -- Mad Max

Soultaker -- I see not only is your height stunted but so is your memory (I hope for
your wife's sake that is all that is stunted).  How quickly you forget that Snow
Yellow used your "warriors" as her own personal punching bag for her 20 turns or so
she was in Aradi.  Then of course you also forget about my previous team "For the
Shire" that had been Aradi's Top Career Team while running an entire stable.  How
sad.... -- Mad Max

Inquiring minds that wouldn't mind knowing(a.k.a. Snotman?) -- Yes, I also run I Hate
Them Too in Jurine.  Since I have accomplished exactly zero in this game during my
15+ years around here I have a lot of contempt for good Managers.  Wait a second...
did I just call Snotman good?!?!?!?  Oh, the horror!!!! -- Mad Max

     No, not Snotman. -- Temp Ed.

Death Stud -- That was just cold....  Thanks for the welcome.  What are the odds
again of me hanging around for 5 straight turns again?  How about 10 straight?  Just
curious. -- the wanderer known as Mad Max

     This is Aradi--there are only crooked turns. -- Ed.

Team 11 -- Pathetic, truly pathetic.  I see I have to show you boys how to do things
around here.... -- Mad Max (as he flexes his muscles showing off that massive 5-13
record)

Gummi Ghoul -- Very impressive! -- Mad Max

All -- Well, it is down to the wire and amazingly we are still in it, in part to a
barely above average turn of 6-4 which amazingly won us the turn.  A big thanks to
Nuln's team for not writing, otherwise they would have taken the turn.  Well barring
a total choke, jinxing myself, we should come in at least third and beat my last
(first) performance in TOGS or fourth. -- Shadowgate

Death Stub and Chromie -- Thanks to you as well!  Can you do that one more turn
please?  Here is hoping your replacements are crap! :P -- Shadowgate

     Ah, the love that is Aradi.... -- Ed.

Yukon -- Thanks for pulling my ass along again for another turn! -- Shadowgate

Death Stud -- Obviously you should be avoiding Goldfish, who has a worse record than
he should! -- Shadowgate

Lightning IX -- Too predictable. -- Kaboom

Mistress Bombtronic -- Darn, thought I could win that. -- Noodles

Urlgen Three-Fist -- Your manager really should use the DA more. -- Zerbert

Obiter Dicta -- You're pretty good.  I hate you. -- Supernova

Florin Falconhand -- Your manager really should use the DA more. -- TOGS Winner

Pip -- See, everything is really your fault.

     Right, it must have been Pip that broke the little plastic doodad that holds my
     car door panel in place. -- Ed.

     Ah, and he probably lost the dough hook on my bread machine, too!  I wondered
     about that. -- Temp Ed.

Soultaker -- We've had some problems with the sewers in the CDC castle.  Wanna run
over and see if you can dive in and get 'em fixed? -- Guardian

Malaquar -- You really need to just accept the fact that you're destined to be a
minion forever. -- Guardian

All TOGS Participants -- Good showing all.  Thanks for all the certificates! --
DeGotti

I hope Aradi was well represented in this last Tourney!  I know I sent 3 hopefuls
from this fine arena. -- DeGotti

Rage Man -- It was great being your partner in the TOGS. -- DeGotti 

Crypt Queen -- The first fight for both of us.  You were doing well until I hit you.
Twice.  I must say you are the biggest queen I have ever seen. -- Nudnik

Murray -- Another example of my superb ability to challenge the right fighter. --
Frub

Baron -- Wimpy said I would never beat you in a bloodfeud but I had to try cause I
thought I could learn a bunch of skills.  I was wrong, again. -- Namby Pamby

Typhoon XXII -- After you out waited me I got to thinking.  You must have studied at
the foot of Manager to be able to scum this well.  Anyway, nice job. -- Freep

     You make Manager sound like a mountain or a tree.... -- Ed.

TOGS Dixie -- That weapon was much too heavy for you and I ain't just whistling
Dixie. -- Twicklebum

TOGS Managers -- We Wimps are quite pleased with our performance so far.  We are a
little above average.  That is, we are right around the best of the worst and the
worst of the best. -- Wimpy

Dunno -- I lose, you teach me one skill.  Thanks a lot. -- Strategic Lawsuit Against
Public Participation (S.L.A.P.P.) -- Judge

Pip the Troll -- Glad to see you back in Aljafir.  Other than your match up with my
guy last cycle, it looks like your luck there is going much better than it is here in
the TOGS IV. -- Judge

Nappy Dugout -- My manager loves challenging you.  But do something about that hair.
-- Laches of Legalese

All -- Okay, let's review.  I'm an alcoholic gambler with a impulse control problem
that likes to repeat Counting Crow lyrics while watching baby seals get eaten by
polar bears during which I'm getting whacked by the Ed's evil beat down stick of
correctness.  Did I forget anything?  Oh yeah, your T@#$ winner! -- Yukon
P.S.  THERE CAN BE ONLY SCROD!

     I certainly hope there can be something else; I'm NOT eating scrod for
     breakfast! -- Ed., who doesn't care for pickled herring in the morning either

All -- I hope that everyone had a good time in the TOGS this year.  It proves to me
each time why it is head and shoulders the best, most fun competition in all of
Duelmasters.  I'd like to thank everyone involved for the lack of bullcrap, whining,
pissing and moaning.  It was a very welcome change from years past. -- Death Stud

Manager, DeGotti, Shadowgate, Yukon -- Good luck to you all this turn.  I'm not
liking the way this last turn has shaped up for Soultaker and me and I suspect that
you all have a very real chance at being able to wrest the top spot away from us on
this last shot.  I'd rather be in first place, struggling to hold it than out of
first place and struggling to catch up, though.  So, best of luck to you all, and may
you flail horribly in full Rillion/TGG style. -- Death Stud

Ed. -- Man, I sent personal ads in via email AND with my strats...and neither showed
up on the newsletter.  Did I kick somebody's dog or something? :) -- Anti

     I don't know about that.  *I* never received 'em, at any rate, and if HAL did,
     he didn't file them in DM 60.  Did you get a receipt from HAL?  That should have
     said where the ads ended up. -- Ed.

Snotman -- Well at least we moved up a couple of places, that counts for something.
-- Anti

It was a well fought contest that I thoroughly enjoyed! -- Street Legal

Ed. -- I don't know if it helps any, but I am so, so sorry. -- Nuln

     *suspicious look* Does that mean you're writing something in the wee hours of
     Friday morning again? -- Ed.

Guardian -- At least that way I can bid for it. -- Manager

Shadowgate -- Sounds good to me!  Whoops, the TOGS is over, too late. -- Manager

Soultaker -- Let's see if I remember.  I have one TOGS trophy to your none and you're
one turn away from pulling the biggest collapse in TOGS history.  (Remember, by your
own spotlight, second place is the first loser.) -- Manager

Soultaker -- Before you run your mouth, you need to actually be successful in the
arena, or else no one will believe you. -- Manager

Snotman -- I can't believe you just wrote that personal ad to my face.  You forget
that I have moles everywhere and I have all the dirt on the FONZ and their issues.  I
feel like I've practically sat in on some of the FONZ membership meetings of the
past. -- Manager
P.S.  Congrats on a solid tourney!  Maybe you're on your way back.

Snotman -- If only your teammates/alliancemates had used that strategy from the very
beginning--then maybe team 2 wouldn't be out to this ridiculous lead that they were
in 3 turns ago. -- Manager

Death Stud -- Way to avoid the issues addressed in my personals by trying to attack
my credibility.  I'll remember you have issues with that the next time you are
looking for information. -- Manager
P.S.  I hope Lightning's replacement DIED in the tourney and didn't get to fight.

Judge -- I forgot to mention that I thought Shadowgate was the right addition to the
TOGS RW House. -- Manager

All -- I am soo glad I don't have to write another story for a while. -- Soultaker

All -- Thanks for another great TOGS. -- Voyde, Team 7

Nuln -- Thanks for partnering up but next time I hope you don't expect all that
"winning".  It's so tiring. -- Voyde

Anti -- Congratulations on not having a major life trauma interrupt your TOGS. --
Voyde

Manager -- You're so clever.  I still haven't figured out how you get that Rage Man
guy to do whatever you want. -- Voyde

Guardian -- A pleasure.  Hope you and the rest of that surly crew that you cavort
with return for TOGS V. -- Voyde

All -- Remember, the best part of TOGS is coming up.  For the next few months just
write the word TOGS in a spotlight and/or personal and imagine Death Stud frothing so
bad that he needs to order a reprint.  Priceless. -- Voyde

     You don't seriously think *I'm* going to be terribly happy at seeing that word,
     do you?  Stud may never have a chance to froth. -- Ed.

Elephant -- You are a glutton for punishment.  I accept your gracious offer.  The
warriors of Wing Hove will indeed rise and soar again when next the golden scrod is
up for grabs.  Well, most of the time anyhow. -- Indimar

TOGS participants -- Thanks for the lessons.  It remains to be seen how much of it
sticks. -- Indimar

Onedawg -- Great run last turn. -- Indimar Fallon

Snotman -- A few turns back I would have told you what to do with your pity.  After
last turn I think I will just say thank you. -- Indimar

Trust Fund Baby -- There's dogs who make good baby sitters.  I'm not one of 'em. --
Duke

Z=Enter These -- Why? -- Queenie

Y=Get Me This One -- That's like "fetch," right? -- Pretty Boy

All -- Had a blast with the TOGS, even though I'm not going to win.  I especially am
impressed by teams 4 & 8.  Both members of their teams wrote spots even thought they
are not in contention.  That's pretty cool. -- Snotman

Indimar -- If you didn't like the implication that you were an alcoholic scrod-java
junkie, you really aren't gonna like the carrot.  But I'll make it up to you by
buying you a carrot of your own. -- Snotman

RUG 68267 -- 2000 and 2001.  But it's a little late now.  I need DeGotti's crappy
replacement last turn. -- Snotman

     With those nickels, you'd have been out of luck anyway.  I want 1947 1/2 and
     2363. -- RUG 68267

Death Stud -- You should know better.  If you push us, we will just stop trying at
all. -- Snotman, bootcamp proof

Rilly & TGG -- A little disappointed that you decided on a slow decline instead of
your usual choking.  I predict that Nuln & Voyde pass you to take 4th place. --
Snotman

Judge -- Well, I'm there now.  Had a few guys there needed 1 fight for the tourney.
I got a team in 22 you might see some of after the tourney too. -- Pip

Soultaker -- Being in charge of the applications department over here at the CDC, I
can tell you there's now no shortage of people banging down our door applying for
membership.  I've even had to deny the applications of several members of your own
alliance. -- Pip
P.S.  Your application has been denied.  Next time I'd highly suggest not sending a
photo with your application.

Malaquar -- You ever gonna fix the spelling on your team name? -- Pip

All -- Well, this by far was the most enjoyable TOGS.  The stories were really great 
reading and the competition was as always tough. -- Soultaker

All -- No what how this last turn ends up, I had a great time. -- Soultaker

All -- Congrats to all the managers that had good success in the tourny. == Soultaker

Indimar -- In honor of you, I'm flaking this turn. -- Elephant

All -- Thanks for the tournament, and congrats to the winners! -- Onedawg

Master Darque -- Great job, man, you really hammered us through on a lot of the 
turns.  Sorry, I couldn't have done better with my team.  Catch ya on the flip side! 
-- Onedawg

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NEON NECROMANCER was dealt death by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
UNCLE CHARLIE was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
QUICKSAND handily defeated QUETZACOATYL in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
HELMS won victory over LLUPERIOR LLORCES in a 1 minute master's Bloodfeud brawl.
WINKER X overpowered TRIPLICATE THUNDER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BRAK bested LORD OF THE O RINGS in a 2 minute expert's Challenge brawl.
THORNE defeated GUMMI GHOUL in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge Title struggle.
ACK ACK overpowered OBITER DICTA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
LACHES was vanquished by THE AYL'M'ER in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
NOODLES won victory over CYCLONE in a exciting 1 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
CYVIN viciously subdued MISTRESS BOMBTRONIC in a 8 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
WHITE RAVEN was devastated by SANDSTORM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
NAPPY DUGOUT was demolished by SUPERNOVA in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
SON OF BLOODLUST was overpowered by 4-FT PARTY BONG in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
MARBURY outwaited TOGS STINKER in a unpopular 16 minute master's Challenge bout.
T-MAC was overpowered by MURRAY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
EDDIE THE ECHO overpowered MARDUK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
TOGS REPLACEMENT overpowered URLGEN THREE-FIST in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
FREEP outwaited TOGS WINNER in a 10 minute gory Challenge bout.
THE-SHOCKER was vanquished by SHARP STICK in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
SCRAG was overcome by ANGRY SANTA in a 3 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
BING bested DEMURRER in a exciting 3 minute Challenge bout.
WILDFIRE was savagely defeated by ANDROGENOUS STRAIN in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
MANAGER was overpowered by ZYLLEIX'S SHADE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
PIP THE TROLL was savagely defeated by DOVE FALCONHAND in a 2 minute Challenge match.
VIKEN was beaten by PIKEL in a action packed 5 minute gory Challenge duel.
TWICKLEBUM was handily defeated by TOSSED SALAD in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
THE GREEK GUY vanquished FLORIN FALCONHAND in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
ERIK THE RED was overpowered by DUKE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MAIMONIDES luckily beat IVAN in a 4 minute Challenge match.
OWL-LEN-L-NER was savagely defeated by VERDICT in a 2 minute gory Challenge fight.
ROT GUT was savagely defeated by CLINTON in a 4 minute novice's Challenge bout.
TELLY viciously subdued TOGS DIXIE in a popular 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
CANDLEWIC was demolished by INDIMAR'S FAXMACHINE in a 1 minute Challenge match.
LOTT overpowered CRYPT QUEEN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
KERRY savagely defeated LLAPPY LLILMORE in a crowd pleasing 2 minute Challenge match.
NUDNIK was vanquished by CORTEZ in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
DREK unbelievably bested AVIENDHA in a exciting 3 minute bloody master's bout.
NEWCASTLE vanquished LLUGS AND LLISSES in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match.
BLUE BEANIE vanquished BARON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BONG slimly won victory over LLUCKY DAY in a tiring 23 minute bloody conflict.
ZERBERT was outlasted by FRUB in a unpopular 26 minute brutal expert's competition.
GOLDFISH beat DUNNO in a exciting 1 minute fight.
INSISTANT BEGGAR was defeated by ORIGINAL SHOCKER in a popular 2 minute duel.
TYPHOON XXII narrowly defeated ASSHE-MASTER in a tiring 22 minute bloody fray.
MR OBLIVIOUS viciously subdued DR. FEELGOOD in a 2 minute brutal match.
URBAN unbelievably bested LIMPY LIMPY in a exciting 8 minute brutal bout.
GROVER overpowered SILVER BELLS in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
FLICKED BOOGERS bested TRUST FUND BABY in a 2 minute conflict.
WEED 4 MOM was luckily beaten by PRETTY BOY in a 3 minute struggle.
XXX subdued ANASTASIUS II in a crowd pleasing 2 minute battle.
BUSTED NUTS defeated TELESPHORUS in a 1 minute brawl.
QUEENIE demolished FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
SPED devastated NUHRII in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
ZIGGERZAG won victory over TOGS DESPERATION in a 1 minute novice's struggle.
BARBIEDOLL LUST savagely defeated BRUSHFIRE in a 8 minute amateur's brawl.
NULN executed FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
ONE-TIMER subdued ASSURNASIRBANIPAL in a exciting 3 minute conflict.
PRINCE EHRYE overcame ONE FOR ALL in a 3 minute amateur's bout.
DESTITUTE NOBLE was overpowered by FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 27         TOTAL PARRY      159 - 117 -  1      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     27         STRIKING ATTACK  180 - 154 -  9      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  24         WALL OF STEEL     51 -  50 -  1      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  9         PARRY-STRIKE      18 -  21 -  1      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         AIMED BLOW        42 -  49 -  0      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         LUNGING ATTACK   153 - 193 -  7      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         SLASHING ATTACK   60 -  83 -  6      42  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         PARRY-LUNGE       20 -  30 -  3      40  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    46 -  71 -  2      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  15 -  0      29  |

Turn 336 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  5         5  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      4 -  5         2  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK   15 - 12     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  7         2  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY       14 - 13     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
LUNGING ATTACK    12 - 12     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    THORNE 5259                16   4  0  122 FA CHING (388)
SLASHING ATTACK  QUICKSAND 6554             18   7  1  119 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
STRIKING ATTACK  ACK ACK 837                13   8  3  105 THE UNDERWORLD (15)
PARRY-LUNGE      LORD OF THE O RINGS 6022   23  15  1   94 WILD CARDS (148)
PARRY-STRIKE     CYVIN 5258                 13   9  1   86 FA CHING (388)
TOTAL PARRY      BLUE BEANIE 6461           13  12  1   82 DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
LUNGING ATTACK   MURRAY 6661                12   7  0   74 POWER BROKERS (527)
AIMED BLOW       SHARP STICK 6949            7   6  0   56 I'M WITH STUPID (531)
BASHING ATTACK   BARON 6765                 11   7  2   52 LOCK-OUT (368)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NAPPY DUGOUT 6080.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CYVIN 5258.  The ten other most popular fighters were LIMPY LIMPY 7046, 
BARBIEDOLL LUST 7157, TELLY 7135, ANASTASIUS II 7117, DEMURRER 5828, AVIENDHA 4721, 
SUPERNOVA 6239, CLINTON 7146, KERRY 7141, and ORIGINAL SHOCKER 6959.

The least popular fighter this week was ZERBERT 6243.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FRUB 6794, LLUCKY DAY 6021, BONG 6980, TYPHOON XXII 6827, ASSHE-MASTER 
7000, TOGS STINKER 6588, MARBURY 4499, BRUSHFIRE 7168, MAIMONIDES 7010, and DESTITUTE 
NOBLE 7161.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

QUICKSAND (60-6554) NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
THE AYL'M'ER (60-6056) 4000 BLOWS (107)
MICHAEL J'EH FOX (60-5263) INGRATE WHITE NORTH (348)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

WINKER X (60-6470) 4000 BLOWS (107)