DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 05/20/2005    Duedate: 06/02/2005

ARADI ARENA

DM-60    TURN-364

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

BRUSHFIRE
NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
(60-7168) [18-10-0,130]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BRUSHFIRE                      GHOST
NATURAL DISASTERS (159)        SILENT WARRIORS (561)
(60-7168) [18-10-0,130]        (60-7319) [3-3-0,14]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

NAPPY DUGOUT                   CLOUDGAZER
WILD CARDS (148)               EX OBLIVIONE (502)
(60-6080) [18-23-1,85]         (60-7349) [1-1-0,4]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THIEVES GUILD (396)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BEAKER PEOPLE (562)         40
2. CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)         34MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)
3. THE MISGUIDED (559)         33      Unchartered Team
4. MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)  27
5. JOKA MASHER! (283)          26      BEAKER PEOPLE (562)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 MY BRAIN ON CHLORI (555)  47  28  3 62.7   1/ 1 THIEVES GUILD (396)      10  5 0
 2/ 0*BEAKER PEOPLE (562)        3   2  0 60.0   2/ 3 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       9  6 1
 3/ 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    377 324  9 53.8   3/ 4 LEGALESE (449)            8  1 1
 4/ 4 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  649 568 23 53.3   4/10 THE MISGUIDED (559)       8  7 0
 5/ 5 WILD CARDS (148)         722 648 28 52.7   5/ 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     7  7 0
 6/ 6 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       35  33  1 51.5   6/ 6 VOUGEOOT (464)            7  8 0
 7- 7 INGRATE WHITE NORT (348) 131 140 11 48.3   7/ 7 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   6  1 1
 8/ 8 THIEVES GUILD (396)      138 149  6 48.1   8/ 5 METAL MELTDOWN (344)      5  6 0
 9-10 4000 BLOWS (107)         578 645 27 47.3   9/ 9 RED DOG GANG (476)        5 10 0
10/11 METAL MELTDOWN (344)     279 314 21 47.0  10/15 WILD CARDS (148)          4  2 0
11/16 THE MISGUIDED (559)       23  26  0 46.9  11/ 8*SILENT WARRIORS (561)     4 11 0
12/13 VOUGEOOT (464)            38  43  2 46.9  12/13 JOKA MASHER! (283)        3  0 1
13/12 GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)   86  99 14 46.5  13/ 0*BEAKER PEOPLE (562)       3  2 0
14/14 LEGALESE (449)           113 144  4 44.0  14/18 GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)   3  4 0
15/15 JOKA MASHER! (283)       169 220  8 43.4  15/17 MY BRAIN ON CHLORI (555)  3  4 0
16/ 9*SILENT WARRIORS (561)     13  17  1 43.3  16/16 EX OBLIVIONE (502)        3  7 0
17/17 RED DOG GANG (476)       289 459  4 38.6  17-14 INGRATE WHITE NORT (348)  1  1 0
18/ 0 TWILIGHT ORDER (482)      25  42  1 37.3  18-12 4000 BLOWS (107)          1  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 EX OBLIVIONE (502)        42  76  4 35.6  19/ 0 TWILIGHT ORDER (482)      1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     "Rain, nothing but rain!" Arenamaster Harkon stormed.  He slammed the curtains
shut across the window (tearing one side half off its hooks) and stamped across the
room.
     "Bad as Noblish," Jorge Black Orc agreed.  He edged his chair farther back out
of the maddened arenamaster's path.  "But so what?  It's just an out-of-season storm
front.  It'll pass.  Sit down, have a hot toddy, and wait."
     "Wait!  That's what they want--for real people to do nothing!"
     The Black Orc wondered what he would, or could, do if the arenamaster had gone
mad.  "They?"
     "The Clishay Gang.  These are THEIR storms every night, the cover for them to
do their nefarious worst.  They're taking over Aradi.  They've been working on it
for months.  I didn't realize at first, thought it was just..." he gestured vaguely,
"just exhaustion after the last TOGS, maybe.  But it's them.  The Clishays.  They're
going to make this place...ordinary.  Mundane.  BLAND."  The arenamaster splashed
brandy into a glass with a hand that shook.  "It may already be too late to stop
them."
     "Oh, rot!  They're just a gang, they can't control the weather!" the orc
protested.
     "Ah, but they can."
     The intrusion of a third voice into their conversation startled both men.
Jorge leapt to his feet.  Harkon's hand jerked, sending brandy and glass into the
fireplace, where it burst into crimson flames.
     Madame Lu Sanchoo stepped farther into the room, glanced around once, and moved
to the best chair.  The tiny woman should have looked ridiculous in the big
armchair, but she didn't.  "It is about the Clishays that I have come," she said.
When she gestured at other chairs, both men sat down, moving like puppets.  "The
Clishays have gotten the upper hand here in Aradi.  This is not to be tolerated.
That hand must be cut off.  That is a job for men of violence."  She bestowed a
small and very cold smile on the arenamaster.  "Your job, dear Harkon."
     The arenamaster straightened in his chair.  "It isn't possible.  Once the
Clishays take hold, nothing can stop them.  They must go on until they implode from
sheer inanity."
     "THAT is a Clishay, if you will!" the feminine mastermind snapped. "It is their
leader, the infamous Joe Clishay, who has put that myth of invincibility into your
mind.  You must fight the influence!  Or else..." her voice became dark and
menacing, "the worst will happen."
     "Meanwhile, back in Convincia, a boy is growing up," Jorge half-chanted.  Then
he frowned.  "So what?"
     "Nobody knows the exact nature of that menace," Madame Lu said.  The crimelady
shrugged.  "We have always managed to avert it in the past, but we do know that it
will be the worst thing that can happen."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 256): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 514): WARDUKE of SCARLET KNIGHTS II (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 514): JUNO of THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 507): NO HURRY of JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 503): WARTORTLE of WATER DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 503): BRON CHOLLU of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 504): MISS PRISS of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 496): SENATOR SEDALIA of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 465): TRIANGLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 458): HOLY SCHLITZ of OLD SCHOOL (Otto X. Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 447): VALLEY-JO of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 204): RENDOR QUIL of MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 363): BRUSHFIRE of NATURAL DISASTERS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 352): SABURO SAKAI of EMPIRE OF THE SUN (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 158): SOLAR SISTER of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 399): JESUS of RISEN FROM THE DEAD from DWES EG (LHI, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 256): YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 514): LORDS OF CHAOS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 514): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 507): THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 503): WATER DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 503): THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 504): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 496): THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 465): BEYOND THE PALE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 458): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 447): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 204): SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 363): THIEVES GUILD (Hombre, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 352): EMPIRE OF THE SUN (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 158): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 399): SUNNYDALE, etc. (LHI, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 513): ALBINO RAINBOW of WAR-C-KERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
                               TEDDY RUXPIN of LORDS OF CHAOS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 513): ANGRY SHEW of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 507): NO HURRY of JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 502): WE LIKE THE MOON of SPONGMONKEYS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 504): MISS PRISS of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 464): DARK LENORA of BEYOND THE PALE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 458): THE VEAL DEAL of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 446): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 351): SHADY LADY of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ARADI?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  If this keeps up, 4000 BLOWS, you'll 
have to shine swords instead of use them.  A drop of 6 in the rankings?  THE 
MISGUIDED turned their 4-1-0 turn into a 4th place rank in the listings this turn.  
Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Now let's all watch LEGALESE's 
heads swell from their 3-0-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big shots, big talk, big 
deal.  I can just hear all the boasts coming in BEAKER PEOPLE's next personal ads.  
Their first turn they went 3-2-0.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see 55 
SUCKS MORE win a fight and gain 26 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, CUT-UM-MO beat NEZUMI 
and NEZUMI lost 12 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  TYPHOON XXII challenged 
ARADI's Duelmaster for a shot at the throne.  And if variety is the spice of life, 
ARADI may be getting bland, as BRUSHFIRE stays top dog in the city.  Kickbacks and 
bribes, kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their 
fights?  Skill?  Ha!   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  ARADI, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  THE 
MISGUIDED the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And it 
looks like SILENT WARRIORS avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be 
losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  IN PARI DELICTO was challenged more times this turn 
than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  Now here's guts 
and stupidity all rolled into one, MOOSE MOUSE challenged up 28 to take on GHOST of 
SILENT WARRIORS.  And The Victory Tavern has banned GHOST from service until next 
turn for losing to MOOSE MOUSE and giving him 21 points in the process!  Ha!  And we 
have AMOUR DE COSMOS in a challenge, going down 13 points for the fight.  Guess what? 
I thought AMOUR DE COSMOS showed great skill and promise when he overcame 
DOONEUSHMUN.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for ARADI's 
morgue.  More variety.  Ya gotta go sometime, and VILLEHDOL's time was this time.  
Hmmm, not a bad fighter, had she lived... (what?  me pity?).  Not that I'll be buying 
the drinks, but I'll be glad to see MIDNITE MANIAC and METAL MELTDOWN at The Victory 
Tavern tonight celebrating their bloodfeud victory over NEEBA.  Titanium shields and 
bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Just wait 'till next time I show up 
here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  Paste this one in your scrapbooks, you'll need 
the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRUSHFIRE 7168               18  10  0   130       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KARATE WRECKER 6693           9  12  0   115       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 AMOUR DE COSMOS 5342         11   8  2   101       GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
 TYPHOON XXII 6827            23   7  1    99       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-SON OF BLOODLUST 6823        16   7  0    99       4000 BLOWS (107)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAR'EH WALKER 5825           12   7  1    90       INGRATE WHITE NORTH (348)
 ORIGINAL SHOCKER 6959        12   7  1    89       WILD CARDS (148)
 55 SUCKS MORE 6956           12   9  2    88       JOKA MASHER! (283)
 MISTRESS BOMBTRONIC 6617     19  10  1    87       WILD CARDS (148)
 NAPPY DUGOUT 6080            18  23  1    85       WILD CARDS (148)
 ONE-TIMER 7169               12   2  0    82       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 ANGRY SANTA 6828             17  13  0    81       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 DOONEUSHMUN 5949             12   5  0    77       VOUGEOOT (464)
-BALLROOM BLITZ 7016           4   2  0    77       METAL MELTDOWN (344)
 TSUNAMI 7273                  6   9  1    76       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-PRIME MINISTER 6011          11   9  0    73       INGRATE WHITE NORTH (348)
 PRETTY BOY 7091              17  17  0    72       RED DOG GANG (476)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAMANTHA HAIN 6335           14  16  0    66       EX OBLIVIONE (502)
-PAM'EHLA ANDERSON 5844        3   5  1    65       INGRATE WHITE NORTH (348)
 SLIPKNOT 6674                10  12  0    59       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 CHINESE SPARERIB 7248        10   6  0    58       MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)
 MOUSTACHED RAT 7246          12   3  2    57       MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ASSHE-MASTER 7000            12   5  0    55       4000 BLOWS (107)
 DANDY-LION 7278               9   5  0    54       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 CHEER FULL OWL 7274           7   7  1    49       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 HOLLY SKULL 7276              6   6  0    46       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 THE TAIL 7253                11  12  0    45       RED DOG GANG (476)
-TRAD 7247                    10   5  1    44       MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)
 HAMMER 7297                   5   5  0    44       THE MISGUIDED (559)
 TREE HUGGIN' BUNNY 5366      10   5  2    43       GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
 FLOWER 7255                   9  14  0    41       RED DOG GANG (476)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IN PARI DELICTO 7283          6   7  1    41       LEGALESE (449)
 STEVIE 7271                   8   9  0    40       RED DOG GANG (476)
 MIDNITE MANIAC 7334           4   0  0    40       METAL MELTDOWN (344)
 KING 7267                     8  12  1    37       RED DOG GANG (476)
-BEERZILLA 6170                4   6  0    37       INGRATE WHITE NORTH (348)
 SIDE-BAR 7304                 6   2  0    35       LEGALESE (449)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HANA-KALI 6198                8   7  1    32       TWILIGHT ORDER (482)
 MISS UNDERSTOOD 7301          4   4  0    30       THE MISGUIDED (559)
-SHMAMY CROCKETT 7216          4   2  0    29       4000 BLOWS (107)
 SEHENSTES 7339                3   0  0    28       VOUGEOOT (464)
 AUFTHAURS 7300                4   5  0    26       VOUGEOOT (464)
 MOOSE MOUSE 5527              2   2  0    26       GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
 SATELLITE FIVE 6400           6   4  0    25       TWILIGHT ORDER (482)
 BAD FAITH 7344                2   1  0    24       LEGALESE (449)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-REBEL W/O CAUSE 7252          3   0  0    23       JOKA MASHER! (283)
 PIERRE TRUDEAU 5513           3   3  1    22       GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
-DERALD 7285                   2   4  0    22       4000 BLOWS (107)
 FALCON XLI 7341               1   3  0    22       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 SPEEDY 7293                   4   6  0    18       THE MISGUIDED (559)
 ENOCH PEABODY 7325            3   2  0    17       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 PHREAK 7327                   2   3  0    16       THE MISGUIDED (559)
 CUT-UM-MO 7359                1   0  0    16       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 BUTTERFLY 7338                3   1  0    15       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 GHOST 7319                    3   3  0    14       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 IMOTO-CHAN 7350               1   1  0    14       EX OBLIVIONE (502)
 PIPETTE 7332                  1   0  0    13       BEAKER PEOPLE (562)
 ASSASSIN 7317                 3   3  0    12       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 PYREX 7331                    1   0  0    12       BEAKER PEOPLE (562)
 NEEBA 7343                    3   1  1    11       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 PANTHER 7320                  2   4  1    11       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 NINJA 7357                    1   0  0    11       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 MOUSE 7318                    2   4  0    10       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 MYSTERY 7354                  2   0  0    10       THE MISGUIDED (559)
 FLASK 7329                    1   0  0     9       BEAKER PEOPLE (562)
 NEZUMI 7342                   2   2  0     8       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 SALKARATH 6521                2   2  0     8       TWILIGHT ORDER (482)
-YMCA 7302                     1   3  0     7       MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)
 USCEN'RNE 7355                1   1  0     7       VOUGEOOT (464)
 LAURA SECORD 5528             1   3  0     6       GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
 BAZRAK 6520                   1   3  0     6       TWILIGHT ORDER (482)
 MORGLUM FLYNN 6522            1   3  0     6       TWILIGHT ORDER (482)
-YELLOW CLOUD 7324             1   2  0     5       MY BRAIN ON CHLORINE (555)
 CLOUDGAZER 7349               1   1  0     4       EX OBLIVIONE (502)
 CREAKY 7352                   1   1  0     4       EX OBLIVIONE (502)
 SMOOTH UP 7335                0   3  0     3       METAL MELTDOWN (344)
 COWBOY FROM HELL 7345         0   3  0     3       METAL MELTDOWN (344)
 BLACKROSE 7351                0   2  0     2       EX OBLIVIONE (502)
-RON BURGUNDY 7346             0   1  0     1       4000 BLOWS (107)
 CYLINDER 7333                 0   1  0     1       BEAKER PEOPLE (562)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CRUCIBLE 7330          0  1 0 BEAKER PEOPLE 562     BORED ELF 19          364 NONE    
POINTY STICK 7277      7  6 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557     TSUNAMI 7273          363         
FISH BAIT 7328         0  1 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557     PANTHER 7320          360 JUST REV
BLUNT STICK 7358       0  1 0 DEATH STUDS VII 301   GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    364 NONE    
JAILBREAK 7336         0  1 0 METAL MELTDOWN 344    NEEBA 7343            361 JUST REV
MISS FORTUNE 7296      6  2 0 THE MISGUIDED 559     CHEER FULL OWL 7274   362         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FLOOD 7256             7 11 1 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 PAM'EHLA ANDERSO 5844 361         
SHADOW 7321            2  2 0 SILENT WARRIORS 561   IN PARI DELICTO 7283  362         
VILLEHDOL 5948        10  6 0 VOUGEOOT 464          55 SUCKS MORE 6956    364         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Silent Warriors -- Down challenge? --Shaman

Soultaker -- My aimed blow was crap but it was my crap (so what if it was my
challenge). -- Shaman

Crazy Creeps, Ed. -- The cows and the sheep are back, and they are mine, all mine! --
boB

     You know, I'll bet they aren't REALLY cows and sheep.  They must be something to
     do with the Clishay Gang. -- Ed.

Nuln -- There aren't any bars to hit down on the farm, but there are a couple nice
salt blocks to hang out at. -- boB

Magic Man -- Great to see you back, you are back right? -- Shaman

One-Timer -- (frustrated look)  That was more than once!  I can count, you know.
That was MANY times.  And no new tricks for me, either.  I'm not such an old dog as
that!  Am I?  I don't feel like an old dog, so you SHOULD teach me new tricks.
Today.  Or yesterday, or whenever that was. -- Pretty Boy

Dandy-Lion -- (growling)  You changed your name.  That's Suspicious Behavior!  I
should bite you for that. -- Stevie
P.S.  Do you suppose if I changed MY name, I'd fight better?

Mouse -- You're a nasty little thing, aren't you?  Properly speaking, taking you down
is a cat's job, but cats have no sense of responsibility.  (sigh)  That's how it
always seems to be, of course.  If there's a dirty job, the Good Dogs have to do it.
-- King

Slipknot -- (snapping and whirling frantically)  How dare you!  Tin cans!  NOOOOOOO!
-- The Tail

Hammer -- (bite, bite)  Better. -- Flower

20 April 2005
I have returned after a five-year absence.  I expect all tithes, gifts and bequeaths
to resume as normal. -- Magic Man

4 May 2005
Several questions have been asked about Slaughter's Challenge that I'd like to
address and clarify.
     1)  All Prizes must be used on the contest team, this includes the resurrection.
         Remember any fast arena team should be able to transfer to a slow arena
         (except for arena 82, I believe).
     2)  Warriors will be allowed to fight and run in the dead tourney, should there
         be one, and return if an opening can be made without breaking the rules
         (i.e. only one DA fight allowed per team).
     3)  If you win your single DA match you do not get another.  It's one use of the
         Dark Arena win or lose so if you want him/her/it dead be sure and throw the
         match!
     4)  The resurrection potion's longevity has been extended by the commission to 6
         months but the other potions (favorites, and +1 bonus) must still be used
         within 2 turns and on a 5 FE or higher warrior.  The resurrection can go on
         any warrior regardless of FE.
Street Legal

P.S.  My thanks to those already entered (Hammer, The Consortium, Tripwire, Stik, and
Shaman) and hope many more find a reason to come to arena 54.  Again, my email is
triumph1971@hotmail.com or you can diplo me in arena 14 at THE DEATH SQUAD (63) if
you need more info!

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BLUNT STICK was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
CRUCIBLE was butchered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
CHEER FULL OWL was demolished by TSUNAMI in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
MIDNITE MANIAC overpowered NEEBA in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
MOUSE was overpowered by IN PARI DELICTO in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
BUTTERFLY bested PANTHER in a action packed 3 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
TYPHOON XXII was savagely defeated by BRUSHFIRE in a 45 minute Challenge struggle.
KARATE WRECKER overpowered ORIGINAL SHOCKER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
ONE-TIMER outwaited PRETTY BOY in a crowd boring 8 minute Challenge duel.
AMOUR DE COSMOS overpowered DOONEUSHMUN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CHINESE SPARERIB defeated TREE HUGGIN' BUNNY in a exciting 5 minute Challenge fight.
MOUSTACHED RAT handily defeated FLOWER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
PIERRE TRUDEAU was demolished by HAMMER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
FALCON XLI was handily defeated by STEVIE in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
ASSASSIN was devastated by BAD FAITH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
MOOSE MOUSE overcame GHOST in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fight.
LAURA SECORD was overpowered by PHREAK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
SMOOTH UP was overcome by MYSTERY in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
MISTRESS BOMBTRONIC unbelievably bested VIRGINAL GIGOLO in a 4 minute veteran's brawl.
NAPPY DUGOUT demolished NOBLE ASSASSIN in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
ANGRY SANTA unbelievably bested SAMANTHA HAIN in a 2 minute master's competition.
VILLEHDOL was dispatched by 55 SUCKS MORE in a action packed 1 minute veteran's match.
DANDY-LION vanquished THE TAIL in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
SLIPKNOT overpowered HANA-KALI in a 4 minute gory one-sided match.
KING was vanquished by HOLLY SKULL in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SIDE-BAR vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ENOCH PEABODY was savagely defeated by MISS UNDERSTOOD in a tiresome 7 minute melee.
AUFTHAURS overcame SPEEDY in a action packed 2 minute brutal bout.
SATELLITE FIVE handily defeated BLACKROSE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
MORGLUM FLYNN was narrowly defeated by FLASK in a 2 minute beginner's fight.
SALKARATH was handily defeated by SEHENSTES in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
USCEN'RNE subdued CYLINDER in a 1 minute brutal novice's fight.
CREAKY was beaten by PIPETTE in a 1 minute beginner's bout.
BAZRAK was demolished by IMOTO-CHAN in a 1 minute uneven contest.
NEZUMI was luckily beaten by CUT-UM-MO in a 2 minute brutal novice's struggle.
COWBOY FROM HELL was devastated by PYREX in a 1 minute uneven bout.
CLOUDGAZER was defeated by NINJA in a crowd pleasing 6 minute brutal novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  16         SLASHING ATTACK   27 -  18 -  0      60  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 14         TOTAL PARRY       49 -  45 -  1      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     11         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  16 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         STRIKING ATTACK   51 -  50 -  4      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  57 -  3      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        26 -  33 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  21 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  10 -  0      29  |

Turn 364 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     6 - 10         4  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  4                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  3                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  7     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      BRUSHFIRE 7168             18  10  0  130 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
SLASHING ATTACK  AMOUR DE COSMOS 5342       11   8  2  101 GREAT WHITE NORTH (311)
STRIKING ATTACK  ORIGINAL SHOCKER 6959      12   7  1   89 WILD CARDS (148)
LUNGING ATTACK   55 SUCKS MORE 6956         12   9  2   88 JOKA MASHER! (283)
AIMED BLOW       MIDNITE MANIAC 7334         4   0  0   40 METAL MELTDOWN (344)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is NAPPY DUGOUT 6080.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CLOUDGAZER 7349.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHINESE SPARERIB 
7248, PANTHER 7320, SAMANTHA HAIN 6335, AUFTHAURS 7300, STEVIE 7271, MIDNITE MANIAC 
7334, MOOSE MOUSE 5527, NAPPY DUGOUT 6080, 55 SUCKS MORE 6956, and SLIPKNOT 6674.

The least popular fighter this week was TYPHOON XXII 6827.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BRUSHFIRE 7168, ONE-TIMER 7169, ENOCH PEABODY 7325, COWBOY FROM 
HELL 7345, BAZRAK 6520, CYLINDER 7333, SALKARATH 6521, BLACKROSE 7351, SPEEDY 7293, 
and MISS UNDERSTOOD 7301.