DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 01/27/2006 Duedate: 02/09/2006
ARADI ARENA
DM-60 TURN-382
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
SPEEDY
THE MISGUIDED (559)
(60-7293) [14-13-0,112]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
ASSHE-MASTER THALIA
4000 BLOWS (107) ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
(60-7000) [19-9-1,131] (60-7547) [3-0-0,29]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
SON OF BLOODLUST SON OF BLOODLUST
4000 BLOWS (107) 4000 BLOWS (107)
(60-6823) [21-13-0,108] (60-6823) [21-13-0,108]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. OBSIDIAN TOWER (578) 40
2. 4000 BLOWS (107) 39 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
3. ORIGINAL SHANKSTERS (576) 35 Unchartered Team
4. GOIN' TUBIN' (577) 32
5. VOUGEOOT (464) 25 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1*ARADI RESORT & SPA (580) 11 3 1 78.6 1/ 3*ARADI RESORT & SPA (580) 11 3 1
2/ 0*OBSIDIAN TOWER (578) 3 2 1 60.0 2/ 9 4000 BLOWS (107) 8 2 1
3/ 0*ORIGINAL SHANKSTER (576) 3 2 0 60.0 3/ 2 SWIFT CURRENT (468) 8 7 0
4/ 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301) 414 350 11 54.2 4/ 5 THE MISGUIDED (559) 7 8 0
5/ 3 CRAZY CREEPS (207) 483 410 15 54.1 5/ 1 DEATH STUDS VII (301) 6 7 1
6/ 4 NATURAL DISASTERS (159) 696 595 25 53.9 6/ 4 NATURAL DISASTERS (159) 5 7 0
7/ 5 SWIFT CURRENT (468) 113 100 9 53.1 7/ 6 SILENT WARRIORS (561) 4 2 1
8/ 6 GOIN' TUBIN' (577) 108 102 5 51.4 8/11 GOIN' TUBIN' (577) 4 5 0
9- 7 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 170 165 12 50.7 9/ 8 LEGALESE (449) 4 5 0
10- 8*CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579) 4 4 0 50.0 10/16 VOUGEOOT (464) 4 5 0
11/ 9 THIEVES GUILD (396) 157 162 6 49.2 11/ 7 THIEVES GUILD (396) 4 5 0
12/11 THE MISGUIDED (559) 67 71 0 48.6 12-14*WALKING DEAD (568) 3 1 1
13/10 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557) 67 73 2 47.9 13/ 0*OBSIDIAN TOWER (578) 3 2 1
14/12 4000 BLOWS (107) 605 668 28 47.5 14/ 0*ORIGINAL SHANKSTER (576) 3 2 0
15-13*PHANTOM MENANCE (569) 7 8 0 46.7 15/20 CRAZY CREEPS (207) 3 4 0
16/14 FUNKY FOLK (565) 27 32 3 45.8 16/13 RED DOG GANG (476) 3 12 0
17/15 LEGALESE (449) 142 169 4 45.7 17-10*CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579) 2 2 0
18/16 SILENT WARRIORS (561) 23 28 3 45.1 18-17*DARK JEDI (567) 2 3 1
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19-17*WALKING DEAD (568) 4 5 1 44.4 19-18*PHANTOM MENANCE (569) 2 3 0
20/19 VOUGEOOT (464) 65 84 6 43.6 20/12 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557) 2 6 0
21-18 JOKA MASHER! (283) 171 226 9 43.1 21-21 JOKA MASHER! (283) 1 1 1
22/20 RED DOG GANG (476) 319 519 4 38.1 22-15 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 1 2 0
23-21*DARK JEDI (567) 3 12 2 20.0 23/19 FUNKY FOLK (565) 1 3 0
24-22*DARTH LORD (581) 1 4 0 20.0 24-22*DARTH LORD (581) 1 4 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
+ ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
The minion in the powder blue bodysuit curled his lip in a...no, not a sneer.
Jorge Black Orc was a connoisseur of sneers, all orcs were, because of their fangs.
No one could sneer like an orc. This was not a sneer, more of a mouse of lofty
disdain and superiority. "You wouldn't understand, foul, ignorant orc!"
Jorge spent about three seconds considering that and then nodded. "You're
right, I wouldn't understand. So there's no point leaving you alive." His blade,
still with that True Blue blaze of Goodness, swung around and smoothly removed the
minion's head.
Which came off a little TOO smoothly, now that the Black Orc was paying
attention to the details. Smooth, neat, with...Very Little Blood. "These are
golems!" Jorge shouted. "They're a distraction!"
"Not possible!" Harkon yelled back. "I have the foul Clishay under my eye all
the time, he cannot get away-- He cannot--" The arenamaster stuttered to a halt.
"Oh, SH...SHUCKY-DO!"
The silver-armored figure had, of course, disappeared. As had most of the
dismembered minions.
Harkon tossed away the minion he'd been about to disarm and looked around, fists
on his hips. "This is absolutely in violation of the Code."
"What Code?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"Jorge, I like you, but you're an orc. You wouldn't understand the Code. Trust
me on this."
"Ah, you mean it's one of those impractical, anti-survival-oriented things that
humans and elves do?" The Black Orc spat, though the torrential rain robbed his
gesture of most of its impact.
"Yes, one of those Codes," Harkon agreed. "It's the Good Guys' Burden."
"Oh, THAT Code." He shrugged. "If they don't follow the Code, then we don't
have to, right? Because they're the ones that started playing dirty."
"That's a specious argument," Harkon said.
"But persuasive," Madame Lu remarked. She leaned out of her shuttered
palanquin, which had, as usual, arrived silently, and shook the Black Orc's hand. "I
have always found your people to be so practical. Quite refreshing."
"That doesn't solve our problem," Harkon cut in.
"It might, depending on which problem you refer to, dear boy."
"What that clishay paladin was up to."
"Ah, that problem. A minor one, but even a minor answer can be satisfying."
Madame Lu leaned back against her silk brocade cushions, visible because there was a
lantern inside the palanquin, and the shutter was open. "No doubt it will appear in
time. This is not, however, the time for that question to be answered."
"But--"
"Do you recall your ill-fated and incompleted journey to the Mountains of
Mediocrity?"
"Vaguely. But the problem of the moment is the Clishay Gang. You said that
yourself!"
"Did you not realize that the Clishays hold the heights of the Mountains of
Mediocrity?"
"I never thought about it. I don't suppose it matters, either."
"Well, it does. Meet me at the House of the Golden Scrod in one hour," she
said, and slid the shutter closed. The elaborately carved, gilded palanquin vanished
into the rainy night.
* }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *
---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---
Duelmasters
-----------
DM 8 ARKERS (turn 265): INOCHI of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 532): BIG LOU of MANIC MARVELS (Barnabas, mgr.)
DM 14 TOBIR (turn 532): LITTLE DEVIL of PLAYPEN (KAT, mgr.)
DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 525): BROOKS AND DUNN of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 521): KING BROWN SNAKE of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 521): MENTAL of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
DM 26 CALEAM (turn 519): BOUNCER of GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 514): TRIPLE-X of LOVE LETTERS (Cunning Linguist, mgr.)
DM 40 ZENSU (turn 483): DRIZZT of PHILANTHROPISTS (Aragorn, mgr.)
DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 475): 5 GOT PICKED of 072905R (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 465): SOLARIS of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 213): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
DM 60 ARADI (turn 381): SPEEDY of THE MISGUIDED (?, mgr.)
DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 369): HITCH HIKER of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 167): KAT of NIGHTHAWKS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 417): JOE SATRIANI of THE HEADCUTTERS II from ARUAK CITY
(Street Legal, mgr.)
Top Teams
---------
DM 8 ARKERS (turn 265): SMITHSONIAN (The Curator, mgr.)
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 532): MANIC MARVELS (Barnabas, mgr.)
DM 14 TOBIR (turn 532): PLAYPEN (KAT, mgr.)
DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 525): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 521): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 521): ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
DM 26 CALEAM (turn 519): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 514): THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
DM 40 ZENSU (turn 483): PHILANTHROPISTS (Aragorn, mgr.)
DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 475): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 465): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 213): BLOOD AND GUTS! (The Pentalque, mgr.)
DM 60 ARADI (turn 381): DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 369): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 167): NIGHTHAWKS (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 417): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)
Recent Graduates
----------------
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 532): REQUIEM of BALLAD OF THE BLADE (The Sandman, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 513): MAD MAX of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 474): PARNIAN of WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 464): FLINT HILLS of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 212): COLLAPSED LUNG of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 166): SOLAR SISTER of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
SPY REPORT
It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters. Look on my work, ye mighty,
and despair! Nothing is certain in ARADI, with changing loyalties, changing
Duelmasters. Write this down: new top team--ARADI RESORT & SPA. Those betting on
CHEER-O-KEE'S lost their shirt, as CHEER-O-KEE'S lost their fighting abilities:
0-3-0. What's a move up by 7 you ask? (alright, maybe you didn't ask) Cause for
celebration, according to 4000 BLOWS. Say what you will about blind luck and dirty
fighting, but VOUGEOOT will tell you 65-84-6 is nothing to laugh at... Like a new
team fighting for the first time and entering the official rankings, ORIGINAL
SHANKSTERS got 3-2-0 to come in 14th. The boys at OBSIDIAN TOWER are walking tall,
as they are ranked 13th on their first try! Going for the Duelmaster soon? Practice
pays for ASSHE-MASTER, who pummelled SIDE-BAR, to pocket 26 points. Win some, lose
some. Speaking of which, FLOWER was winsome, after beating SLIPKNOT and seeing him
lose 15 points. The arena was more crowded than usual this time, as FALCON XLI faced
ARADI's Duelmaster. FALCON XLI found out that ARADI isn't a democracy. You've gotta
be the best to be Duelmaster here! Word has it one team in ARADI is taking speech
lessons to try to bore their opponent to death. I'll bet it works.
So much to report, so little time! To quell some nasty rumors, the guys in THE
MISGUIDED are not carrying any incurable diseases. No need to avoid 'em. Like a pup
with its tail between its legs, CRAZY CREEPS scurried away from THE MISGUIDED. Oh,
the shame! If challenges were horses, PHIL THEE could open up a fast food joint!
Is there life after death? Pragmatics (and warriors) know there is death after
life! Perhaps 4000 BLOWS were the only ones left untouched by SIDE-BAR demise. Can
anyone ever take his place? Or do I exaggerate? Ask not for whom the sword slashes;
it slashes for thee.
All good things must come to an end. More important duties call me. Do not
despair! I shall return!-- Novgorodny Vir
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SPEEDY 7293 14 13 0 112 THE MISGUIDED (559)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ASSHE-MASTER 7000 19 9 1 131 4000 BLOWS (107)
KARATE WRECKER 6693 13 15 0 110 THIEVES GUILD (396)
SON OF BLOODLUST 6823 21 13 0 108 4000 BLOWS (107)
DOONEUSHMUN 5949 18 8 1 107 VOUGEOOT (464)
FLOWER 7255 18 23 0 104 RED DOG GANG (476)
-HOLLY SKULL 7276 15 12 0 101 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
PRETTY BOY 7091 23 29 0 98 RED DOG GANG (476)
TSUNAMI 7273 18 15 1 98 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
FALCON XLI 7341 7 10 0 98 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
MISS UNDERSTOOD 7301 11 15 0 94 THE MISGUIDED (559)
SANDY BEACH 6957 11 5 1 93 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ONE-TIMER 7169 23 4 0 89 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-55 SUCKS MORE 6956 14 15 3 89 JOKA MASHER! (283)
-BLUE BEANIE 6461 16 15 1 84 DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
SLIPKNOT 6674 15 14 0 82 THIEVES GUILD (396)
STEVIE 7271 15 20 0 80 RED DOG GANG (476)
RIP RAP 6599 12 11 0 76 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
IN PARI DELICTO 7283 16 15 1 74 LEGALESE (449)
-JIM PANZI 7382 7 2 0 69 FUNKY FOLK (565)
THE TAIL 7253 13 28 0 67 RED DOG GANG (476)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-GHOST 7319 7 3 1 66 SILENT WARRIORS (561)
PHREAK 7327 11 12 0 65 THE MISGUIDED (559)
SEHENSTES 7339 10 8 2 61 VOUGEOOT (464)
SHMAMY CROCKETT 7216 9 3 0 60 4000 BLOWS (107)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MYSTERY 7354 10 10 0 56 THE MISGUIDED (559)
ERUPTION 7310 7 6 1 56 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
ENOCH PEABODY 7325 7 5 0 51 THIEVES GUILD (396)
HYQ 7388 7 6 1 48 VOUGEOOT (464)
-BUTTERFLY 7338 11 3 0 47 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
FLASH FIRE 7390 10 10 0 44 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
ASSASSIN 7317 6 5 1 42 SILENT WARRIORS (561)
HURRICANE XXXVII 7379 5 6 1 39 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
LAVA TUBE 7393 8 5 1 38 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-PANTHER 7320 4 6 1 36 SILENT WARRIORS (561)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ROCKY BANKS 7073 6 6 0 33 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
NEZUMI 7342 5 4 0 33 THIEVES GUILD (396)
TINY TIM 6042 4 1 0 29 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
THALIA 7547 3 0 0 29 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
SNOW WHITE 7486 2 2 0 26 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-REBEL W/O CAUSE 7252 3 0 0 23 JOKA MASHER! (283)
BULLY BOY 7447 5 7 0 22 RED DOG GANG (476)
VAS DEFERENS 7534 4 0 0 21 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
FRANK 7484 5 4 0 19 THE MISGUIDED (559)
MANDA 7546 3 0 1 19 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
INIGO 7545 2 1 0 19 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
FALOPIAN 7498 1 2 0 19 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
WES MANTOOTH 7489 4 2 0 18 4000 BLOWS (107)
ANALISE 7544 3 0 0 18 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
-TIN MAN 7550 1 0 0 18 DARTH LORD (581)
HARRIET 7495 3 2 0 17 THIEVES GUILD (396)
EUSTACHIAN 7499 2 0 0 16 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-FREDDY 7412 1 1 0 16 WALKING DEAD (568)
GOOFY 7488 2 3 0 14 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-MOUSE 7318 2 8 0 14 SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-OBI-WAN 7417 2 1 0 13 PHANTOM MENANCE (569)
NINJA 7357 2 3 0 13 SILENT WARRIORS (561)
REIFE 7519 1 0 0 13 OBSIDIAN TOWER (578)
-CHUCKY 7410 1 1 1 12 WALKING DEAD (568)
-VENREK 7477 3 1 0 11 DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-DARTH METRION 7553 1 0 1 11 DARK JEDI (567)
RHEIGN 7520 1 0 1 11 OBSIDIAN TOWER (578)
CHIM RICHALDS 7491 1 4 0 11 4000 BLOWS (107)
VIPER LXXI 7566 0 1 0 11 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
STILLETTO JONES 7586 1 0 0 10 ORIGINAL SHANKSTERS (576)
-CARRIE 7414 2 0 0 9 WALKING DEAD (568)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487 2 2 0 9 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-PINTO BEANS 7531 2 1 0 8 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-LIMA BEANS 7530 2 1 0 8 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
SMALL INTESTINE 7535 0 4 0 8 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-DARTH SIDIOUS 7416 2 1 0 7 PHANTOM MENANCE (569)
-DARTH MAUL 7419 1 2 0 7 PHANTOM MENANCE (569)
-DARTH MERICK 7408 1 2 1 6 DARK JEDI (567)
SHANKTRONIC 7587 1 0 0 6 ORIGINAL SHANKSTERS (576)
-DARTH REEN 7554 1 0 0 6 DARK JEDI (567)
LITTLE EDDY 7536 1 2 0 5 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
TOTE-MY-POLE 7538 1 2 0 5 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
RHYS 7521 1 0 0 5 OBSIDIAN TOWER (578)
SIGMOID COLON 7533 0 1 0 5 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
WHITE WITCH 7542 1 1 0 4 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-DARTH SITH 7409 0 3 0 3 DARK JEDI (567)
-DARTH MAUL 7406 0 3 0 3 DARK JEDI (567)
-SAL MONELLA 7557 0 1 0 1 FUNKY FOLK (565)
-DARK RING 7548 0 1 0 1 DARTH LORD (581)
-WAY WE GO 7549 0 1 0 1 DARTH LORD (581)
DE NOVO 7567 0 1 0 1 LEGALESE (449)
TEATS R US 7580 0 1 0 1 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-DARK VENGENACE 7552 0 1 0 1 DARTH LORD (581)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-ANAKIN 7555 0 1 0 1 PHANTOM MENANCE (569)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
NATHAN 7543 0 1 0 ARADI RESORT & SP 580 DARTH METRION 7553 380
MOO MOO LOVER 7579 0 1 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557 RHEIGN 7520 382
DANDY-LION 7278 12 15 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557 SANDY BEACH 6957 378 REVENGED
EBENEZER SCROOGE 5953 1 5 0 CRAZY CREEPS 207 HYQ 7388 379
I SORRY 7551 0 1 0 DARTH LORD 581 CHUCKY 7410 380
GAZRUK 7475 2 1 0 DEMONS OF DARKNES 430 HURRICANE XXXVII 7379 380
PHIL THEE 7431 1 4 0 FUNKY FOLK 565 DARK CHAMPION 24 382 NONE
SIDE-BAR 7304 16 10 0 LEGALESE 449 ASSHE-MASTER 7000 382
BAD FAITH 7344 11 9 0 LEGALESE 449 55 SUCKS MORE 6956 381
KADESHA 7522 0 1 0 OBSIDIAN TOWER 578 STONE GOLEM 26 382 NONE
DRYXLER 7518 0 1 0 OBSIDIAN TOWER 578 BORED ELF 19 382 NONE
POS 001 7466 0 1 0 ORIGINAL SHANKSTE 576 SPYMASTER 22 382 NONE
LORD TYRANUS 7418 1 2 0 PHANTOM MENANCE 569 ASSASSIN 7317 380
LETHAL LOG 7559 1 1 0 SWIFT CURRENT 468 SPYMASTER 22 382 NONE
BL'D BKE 7541 0 2 0 VOUGEOOT 464 STONE GOLEM 26 382 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
Death Studs -- Fear me. Fear me. Well, wait, first proxy my warriors and *then*
fear me. -- Nuln
Barnaby -- I think you need a new prescription of eyeball. We are not buck-toothed,
hangnailed nor undernourished. Have you been reading the Creepster's yellow paper
again? In any case, we're glad to see you back too and in the fine spirits you
appear to be. Just so you know, we won't be paying you any TOGS bribes, because
we've already formed a secret alliance with all the people who will bribe you, so you
see, it's all so very very pointless. Well, see you around. -- 40000000000 Blows
Granolus -- I was one of those six managers, and I didn't care! Ha! -- Nuln the
contrarian
Good luck to everyone and every warrior at the Face! -- Sunshine the love Bunny
boB -- Would you mind terribly if I slaughtered all the animals on your farm? -- your
pal Nuln
Pretty Boy -- You know, that's funny, I've always been a cat man. -- Son of Bloodlust
Hombre -- Ixnay on the ilencesay, uddybay. Omprendecay, uchachomay? -- ulnNay
I hate you. Just so you know. -- Ed.
Inferno -- Beer got your tongue? If so, I understand. -- Nuln
Soultaker -- So, taken any souls lately? -- Nuln
Creepster & feelow Creepsters -- The rumors of my death, banishment, vow of silence,
joining the cult of Sun Yung Moonie, & having a triple tracheotomy have been *greatly
exagerrated* (emphasis on the "agerr" in exagerrated). We are glad to see you have
returned to our fair city, much like a man named Jordan who returned to a town named
Chicago. Or so I have been told. --Nuln & the 4B Kru shoutin out yo
Aradi Resort & Spa -- Do you by chance give any massages? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
haaaaaaaa. -- Nuln
Welcome to all the new teams. -- 4000 Blows
Tidbits from The Crazy Creeps Free Press:
Speedy is a misguided DM.
Pretty Boy is considered most desirable in Aradi. (wink)
A visit to Aradi Resort & Spa may not be good for your health.
Rue to those who attempt to test wits with The Ed.
FONZ = Forlorn Odd Nondescript Zingers
Rageman has been seen contacting everyone for a partner.
Barnabas is back.
Soultaker was recently seen at the goat petting zoo.
Nuln is resident scratchy label underwear expert.
TOGS was the talk of The Face. (Ed was in denial.)
Darn right, and it was a very nice nial, thank you very much! -- Ed.
Sandman and Mannequin? What a formidable team! -- Scooped by The Crazy Creeps Free
Press
SandMannequin? -- Ed.
Holly Skull -- Wondered when you would finally show up. -- Sandy Beach
Vas -- No Deferens about it, I'm not quite ready for you. -- Little Eddy
Jim Panzi -- Well, at least you lived up to your name. -- Rip Rap
Pinto -- You were just a little out of your class, amigo. -- Rocky
Small Intestine -- What a boring fight, think I'll be heading to that dark arena sky.
-- Lethal Log
Falcon Xli -- My person had a Falcon once. The back seat was pretty good, but the
whole carriage finally had to go. We just couldn't keep it in tires. Do carriages
get hag-ridden? Because if so, that's what was happening to it. Back and forth and
back and forth all night. At least, that's what I heard. I didn't see it. Times
like that, a smart dog hides under the bed. -- Pretty Boy
Frank -- You would not have been MIS-guided if you'd had a DOG along. Dogs are good
guides, even when not specially trained for it. It's innate in us. We always know
the way to important places, such as where the can opener is hanging right next to
the cans of dogfood, and where there's a really ripe piece of nature just waiting for
us to roll in it. So, when in need of a guide, get a dog. -- Bully Boy
Karate Wrecker -- I've heard about wreckers, you come for dead carriages, don't you?
Because there isn't much use in a dead carriage. You can't even roll on it. So go
get that Falcon. It's ready for you. -- Stevie
Slipknot -- (horrible strangling sounds) I hate leashes! There should be a law! --
Flower
In Pari Delicto -- That was fun! (wagging from the tail forward) Let's do it again!
-- The Tail
Crazy Creeps Free Press -- Do not malign puppies, even if they ARE messy, clumsy,
odiously cute little wretches! -- Spot, Red Dog Gang
CCFP -- Well, sure! Of course. -- The Tail
Ed. -- Mostly in western Kansas. -- Temp Ed.
Ah, is THAT what they were growing there. I wondered because it didn't LOOK
like corn. -- Ed.
Speedy -- Congratulations on taking the throne! We wish that it didn't have to be at
our expense, but there will still be plenty of time for me us change that. Salute.
-- Death Studs
Rillion -- Glad that I could accommodate both Blue Beanie and that other random dead
guy as well. -- Death Stud
Barney Bus -- Good to see you back and flapping your gums! We missed you at the FTF
this year. -- Death Stud
Prepare for TOGS starting the turn after the Mail-In tourney and a pre-TOGS four
turns of fun running up to the mail-in. Get those teams sent in and get your DAing
done, TOGS is COMING!
All right already, so it's coming. No need to rub it in! By the way, do y'all
want a special TOGS e-mail address again? Just let me know. -- Ed.
30 December 2005
Just a reminder to all you online type people. It is much appreciated if you send
your personals in PLAIN TEXT, rather than HTML or formatted text. HAL, in his
infinite wisdom, doesn't DO formatting, which means having to unsnarl your personal
ads from bunches of extraneous...stuff. So, if your e-mailer has a plain text
option, let it be your friend. -- Ed.
P.S. Sometimes it's the formatted text which makes ads go astray. Not often, but
sometimes.
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
LETHAL LOG was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
PHIL THEE was dispatched by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
BL'D BKE was killed by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
POS 001 was slaughtered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
KADESHA was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
DRYXLER was assassinated by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
TINY TIM was viciously subdued by HYQ in a action packed 3 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
FALCON XLI was unbelievably bested by SPEEDY in a 9 minute Challenge Title match.
MISS UNDERSTOOD was viciously subdued by KARATE WRECKER in a 4 minute Challenge melee.
SANDY BEACH overpowered IN PARI DELICTO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
RIP RAP was overpowered by TSUNAMI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
MYSTERY savagely defeated FLASH FIRE in a 3 minute brutal Challenge fight.
SNOW WHITE was savagely defeated by ROCKY BANKS in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
FRANK was savagely defeated by THALIA in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
NINJA was handily defeated by VAS DEFERENS in a 10 minute Challenge conflict.
PRETTY BOY was savagely defeated by SON OF BLOODLUST in a 4 minute expert's struggle.
ASSHE-MASTER delivered the death blow upon SIDE-BAR in a 2 minute master's brawl.
SLIPKNOT was overpowered by FLOWER in a 3 minute brutal one-sided bout.
DOONEUSHMUN beat STEVIE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody veteran's match.
ONE-TIMER viciously subdued PHREAK in a crowd boring 17 minute brutal veteran's bout.
THE TAIL was beaten by ERUPTION in a 2 minute uneven fray.
BULLY BOY was handily defeated by ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
ENOCH PEABODY savagely defeated LAVA TUBE in a 2 minute gory fight.
SEHENSTES vanquished HURRICANE XXXVII in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SHMAMY CROCKETT vanquished NEZUMI in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SMALL INTESTINE was subdued by WHITE WITCH in a tiresome 6 minute melee.
ANALISE viciously subdued CHIM RICHALDS in a 4 minute gory fray.
WES MANTOOTH overcame HARRIET in a 2 minute bout.
FALOPIAN was overcome by INIGO in a 2 minute duel.
EUSTACHIAN luckily beat FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 3 minute fight.
MANDA defeated OLD DAGGERTOOTH in a 1 minute beginner's duel.
GOOFY overpowered TEATS R US in a 1 minute one-sided match.
LITTLE EDDY was defeated by STILLETTO JONES in a 1 minute novice's fight.
TOTE-MY-POLE was savagely defeated by REIFE in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
COUNT SHANKILLA demolished SIGMOID COLON in a 1 minute uneven contest.
VIPER LXXI was defeated by SHANKTRONIC in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
RHYS subdued DE NOVO in a 2 minute novice's struggle.
RHEIGN easily killed MOO MOO LOVER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY 13 TOTAL PARRY 71 - 46 - 1 61 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 11 STRIKING ATTACK 58 - 49 - 4 54 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 8 SLASHING ATTACK 30 - 31 - 3 49 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 8 PARRY-LUNGE 14 - 15 - 0 48 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 LUNGING ATTACK 51 - 57 - 6 47 |
|BASHING ATTACK 7 BASHING ATTACK 20 - 27 - 1 43 |
|AIMED BLOW 5 PARRY-STRIKE 15 - 21 - 1 42 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 4 AIMED BLOW 10 - 15 - 0 40 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 3 PARRY-RIPOSTE 9 - 19 - 0 32 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 WALL OF STEEL 18 - 38 - 0 32 |
Turn 382 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
SLASHING ATTACK 6 - 2 TOTAL PARRY 6 - 7 3 TOTAL PARRY
STRIKING ATTACK 5 - 3 LUNGING ATTACK 5 - 6 3 LUNGING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 4 - 3 AIMED BLOW 1 - 4 1 BASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 3 1 SLASHING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL 4 - 4 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 4 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE
1 STRIKING ATTACK
1 PARRY-STRIKE
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY SPEEDY 7293 14 13 0 112 THE MISGUIDED (559)
LUNGING ATTACK SON OF BLOODLUST 6823 21 13 0 108 4000 BLOWS (107)
SLASHING ATTACK DOONEUSHMUN 5949 18 8 1 107 VOUGEOOT (464)
STRIKING ATTACK TSUNAMI 7273 18 15 1 98 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
WALL OF STEEL ENOCH PEABODY 7325 7 5 0 51 THIEVES GUILD (396)
PARRY-STRIKE LAVA TUBE 7393 8 5 1 38 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is SON OF BLOODLUST 6823. The most popular warrior
this turn was SON OF BLOODLUST 6823. The ten other most popular fighters were HYQ
7388, FALCON XLI 7341, KARATE WRECKER 6693, ROCKY BANKS 7073, TSUNAMI 7273, FLOWER
7255, DOONEUSHMUN 5949, ERUPTION 7310, WES MANTOOTH 7489, and REIFE 7519.
The least popular fighter this week was PHREAK 7327. The other ten least popular
fighters were ONE-TIMER 7169, VAS DEFERENS 7534, NINJA 7357, WHITE WITCH 7542, SPEEDY
7293, EUSTACHIAN 7499, SMALL INTESTINE 7535, MOO MOO LOVER 7579, SIGMOID COLON 7533,
and TOTE-MY-POLE 7538.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
SPEEDY (60-7293) THE MISGUIDED (559)
SON OF BLOODLUST (60-6823) 4000 BLOWS (107)
DOONEUSHMUN (60-5949) VOUGEOOT (464)