Date   : 12/15/2006    Duedate: 12/28/2006


DM-60    TURN-405

This Weeks Top Honors


(60-7527) [15-4-1,119]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ONE-TIMER                      SPEEDY GONZALEZ
DEATH STUDS VII (301)          WHY MEETH? (607)
(60-7169) [38-10-0,138]        (60-7993) [1-0-1,14]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DERRIN                         OSO
WING HOVE (529)                THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
(60-6952) [16-17-0,97]         (60-7682) [10-10-0,90]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DEATH STUDS VII (301)       56
3. CRAZY CREEPS (207)          31      Unchartered Team
5. DILEN'S HORDE (587)         27      WHY MEETH? (607)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   103  68  5 60.2   1/ 7 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        9  1 0
 2/ 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    481 381 16 55.8   2/11 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     9  5 1
 3- 4 LUROCIANS VI (431)       110  90  7 55.0   3/ 1 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)  8  7 0
 4/ 5 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       547 448 17 55.0   4/ 9 DILEN'S HORDE (587)       7  5 0
 5/ 6 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  705 605 25 53.8   5/10 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   7  6 0
 6/ 3*WHY MEETH? (607)          17  15  1 53.1   6- 3 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       6  3 1
 7- 7 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 215 192 13 52.8   7/ 8 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  6  6 1
 8/ 8 WILD CARDS (148)         777 697 33 52.7   8/ 6 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    6  6 0
 9/ 9 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    56  51  1 52.3   9/ 5 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       5  7 0
10/12 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    24  22  1 52.2  10/ 2 WING HOVE (529)           4  6 0
11-10 DARK TOGS (526)           13  12  2 52.0  11/ 4 4000 BLOWS (107)          4  8 0
12-11 THE BIZZLE (593)          44  42  4 51.2  12/15 FUNKY FOLK (565)          3  8 0
13-14 THIEVES GUILD (396)      171 173  6 49.7  13/12 WILD CARDS (148)          3 10 1
14/ 0 SILENT WARRIORS (561)     70  71  3 49.6  14/17 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    2  0 0
15-15 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)      115 117  6 49.6  15/23 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  2  4 1
16-16 ATLAS PARK (592)          48  50  1 49.0  16-14*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   2  4 0
17/18 4000 BLOWS (107)         659 716 31 47.9  17-18 DARK TOGS (526)           1  0 0
18/20 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  33  36  1 47.8  18/ 0 SILENT WARRIORS (561)     1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)  60  67  2 47.2  19-21 THIEVES GUILD (396)       1  1 0
20/19 WING HOVE (529)           84  95  4 46.9  20-19 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  1  1 0
21/22 DILEN'S HORDE (587)       47  55  4 46.1  21-13 THE BIZZLE (593)          1  1 0
22/21 AARP (583)                37  47  2 44.0  22/27*WHY MEETH? (607)          1  5 1
23/24 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  45  63  6 41.7  23/22 AARP (583)                1  5 0
24/23 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       37  55  0 40.2  24-25*LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)   0  7 0
25/25 FUNKY FOLK (565)          43  65  4 39.8  25/26 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    0  5 0
26-26*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)    2   4  0 33.3  26-16 ATLAS PARK (592)          0  4 0
27-28*LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)    3  11  0 21.4  27-24*VERBAL MISCUES (604)      0  2 0
28-29*VERBAL MISCUES (604)       1  11  0  8.3  28-29*CREEPSTERESE (606)        0  2 0
29-30*CREEPSTERESE (606)         0   2  0  0.0  29-30 LUROCIANS VI (431)        0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                            by Pauly, mgr. The Bunkhouse

     "Ale!", shouted Red Tail, trying to be heard above the noise in the busy tavern.
Unfortunately the only barmaids in the vicinity were preoccupied talking to a tall
man wearing the most unique and awe inspiring suit of armor he had ever seen.  Red
Tail wondered if he could find armor like that, but assumed it was probably
trademarked.  Giving up for the moment on getting a fresh ale, Red Tail looked around
and not for the first time thought that Aradi was probably the strangest city he had
ever been to.  The vast majority of the bar patrons sported bags or sacks of varying
dimensions, hanging low from their belts, which he soon learned contained nuts of all
shapes and sizes.  Nut sacks were hot in Aradi, but it was only the second most
popular product in the city.  Scrod, some sort of fish, was number one.  Scrod was
used in a seemingly endless variety of products, as Red Tail learned first hand after
taking a big gulp of Scrod Ale.  Apparently it was an acquired taste.
     "Sorry for the wait sir, here's another ale for ya, scrod free, I promise.
     Red Tail snapped out of his daydream and thanked the barmaid.  Turning his mind
to the matter at hand, Red Tail began to get irritated and a little worried that the
mysterious man who had contacted him had not yet shown.  What worried Red Tail was
that work was slow for mercenaries lately and if this job didn't pan out,  he and the
rest of his men might actually have to return home to their wives and children and
get real jobs.  Red Tail shuddered.  Far to the east, Red Tail and his men were known
as the Ale House Mercs, because if you wanted to find them for a job, you'd always
find them in the favorite tavern of the town where their last paying gig ended.  And
Red Tail always closed his deals in the tavern over a mug of ale.  If the person
didn't drink, Red Tail would not take the job, as he didn't trust anyone who didn't
drink.  But here, on this strange island far to the west, no one had ever heard of
the Ale House Mercs.  Except, that is, for one man, for some odd reason.
     Once again Red Tail was snapped out of his reverie by a loud voice.  "Hey!  You
that Red Tail fella?  Hey boy, I'ma talkin' to ya!"
     "Yeah, I'm Red Tail, but watch who you call boy, friend," answered Red Tail.
      "Okay, okay tough guy.  I didn't know you was so sensitive.  I'll try real hard
to be nice, but only cuz I need a very important job done," said the stranger.
     "What exactly is it that you have in mind?", asked Red Tail.
     "Well," began the fiery man, " I need you and yer goons to protect a shipment a
goods I'm sending over ta Zensu.  Goods that you don't need ta know nothin' bout,
bo...Red Tail.  Only thing you need ta know is that if anything happens ta that
shipment, your sorry keester will have ta deal with me, comprende amigo?"
     "Yeah, I got it.  Where, when, and most importantly, how much?  And before you
even say it, I will not accept payment in scrod of any way, shape, or form."
     "Yer a touchy lad aren't ya?", said the man as he slid over a map to Red Tail,
"Be at the Scrodplant Slough docks at first light the day after tomorrow.  The map
will take you there if yer smart enough ta follow it.  As far as payment goes, 2,000
gold pieces up front, another 10,000 when the job is done."
     Red Tail nearly spit his ale across the table at the amount of gold mentioned.
Red Tail downed the rest of his ale and grabbed the arm of the barmaid as she walked
by, "Two more please, if you would," asked Red Tail.  12,000 gold among roughly 100
men (the number tended to fluctuate in his line of work) would keep them comfortable
for quite some time, even the way they spent gold.  Still, Red Tail hesitated to
accept, knowing that the nature of this man's goods was probably not exactly legal.
He and his crew had definitely had a few brushes with the law over the years, but the
amount of gold being thrown at him made him think any trouble he ran into might be
more than he could chew.  After all, you can't spend gold hanging from the end of a
rope.  Red Tail briefly wondered how harsh justice was in Aradi.  It seemed to be
over now, but apparently there had been some sort of livestock ban on the city and
surrounding area, for reasons Red Tail did not care to know.  Finally, Red Tail
decided that he and his men needed the gold too badly, and if they could get through
this job okay, they'd have plenty of time to be a little picky about the next job.
      "Well, BOY!  Yes or no!?", hollered the man, just as the barmaid returned with
two ales.  Red Tail pushed a silver piece towards the barmaid, who surprisingly
pushed it right back.
     "Any friend of Barnabas is a friend of mine," said the barmaid winking at
Barnabas, who returned the wink, and added a slap to her bottom which brought a
delighted squeak .  "This one's on the Blind Cyclops," she said as she walked away.
     "What's it gonna be, Deadsnail, I ain't got all day," said Barnabas, his mind
still half on the serving wench.
     Red Tail grabbed a mug of ale and slid one towards Barnabas.  Raising his mug,
Red Tail answered, "Yes," and extended his mug towards Barnabas who did the same.
They clanked mugs and sealed the deal with a healthy pull, as was the custom of the
captain of the Ale House Mercs.
     Somewhere, in the distance, a baby cried.
     Red Tail turned in the direction the sound was coming from and when he turned
back, Barnabas was gone.
     "Grolsch!", yelled Red Tail.  A large man turned away from the bar and came and
sat down at Red Tail's table.
     "We got a job, cap?" asked the grizzled fighter.
     "Yeah, just a simple guard job, easy money," answered Red Tail," Where are the
     "Over at some tavern called the Blinking Starfish," replied Grolsch.
     "Hmm, interesting," said Red Tail, "tell them they have a day to do what they
want, but I want everyone back to our camp outside of town by sundown tomorrow."
     "Alright cap, I'm on it," and with that, he was on his way to gain entrance to
the Blinking Starfish.
     Red Tail finished his ale, then stood and walked out of the bar.  As he walked
out the door he bumped into someone.  He was about to tell whoever it was to watch
where he was going, when he looked down and noticed the whole front of his body was
coated with what seemed to be...snot.
     "Oh man, sorry about that.  On the bright side, it's an excellent exfoliate."
Red Tail looked up at the speaker and froze in astonishment.  He was covered from
head to toe in snot.  Oozing, mucusy snot.  Red Tail, not believing his eyes, just
turned and started walking towards his camp outside of town, leaving the snot covered
guy standing in the doorway with a confused look on his face.  "Geez, what's his
     As the sun broke the horizon, Red Tail and his crew of mercenaries came into
view of the docks at Scrodplant Slough.  Red Tail let out a long breath as he caught
sight of the two large ships waiting for him and his crew, just like Barnabas said.
Red Tail was beginning to feel much better about the whole thing, starting with last
night, when two flunkies working for Barnabas dropped off a chest filled with the
2,000 gold coins promised up front.
     The company of mercenaries were about halfway through the wide clearing leading
up to the docks when Red Tail heard a baby crying in the distance.  It was at this
point that Red Tail, for some strange reason, realized he had been royally screwed
over by Barnabas.  Unfortunately, it was much too late.
     A shrill horn sounded and suddenly armed soldiers started pouring out of the
surrounding trees.  Red Tail unsheathed his sword and could hear the rasp of steel on
leather as his men did the same.  As only a seasoned soldier could, Red Tail quickly
estimated he was outnumbered ten to one.  Though his men would sell their lives
dearly they had no hope for survival if they fought.  They were surrounded on all
sides by the Aradi soldiers and a lone officer rode out.
     "Lay down your weapons and your lives will be spared," said the officer.  He was
a large man, wearing a suit of studded leather armor and a longbow rested across the
pommel of his saddle.  "You have the word of Sir Indimar Fallon, now give back the
     Red Tail was confused at the mention of an artifact, but before he could
respond, one of his men called out, "Hey, don't you work at that coffee place,
Scrodbucks or something like that?"
     Indimar turned a little red as he felt his authority wasn't being fully
respected, but he responded in an even tone, "Yes, I am the owner/operator of
Scrodbucks, as well as the Scrod Shoppe.  In fact, if this works out all right, you
should stop by the store.  I've got some great TOGS V merchandise that's priced to
move.  In fact, I've also...."
     A soldier behind Indimar cleared his throat loudly, derailing him from his sales
pitch.  "Oh right," said Indimar, "sorry, I get excited at the prospect of future
commerce.  Anyway, I'm not technically an officer in the army,  but I was asked by
certain members of the FONZ to oversee the retrieval of an item stolen from them last
night.  This item is of great value to them."
     Red Tail rode forward hands raised.  Halfway to Indimar he dismounted and laid
down his weapons, indicating his men should do the same.  Indimar dismounted and
walked to meet Red Tail.
     "My name is Red Tail, I am the captain of these men," he started," but I think
there is some kind of misunderstanding, for we have stolen no artifact.  I don't even
have a clue who or what the FONZ is."
     "An eyewitness reported seeing a small group of men leave your camp late last
night and return a few hours later carrying a chest.  A chest that looks exactly like
that one, " said Indimar, pointing to a chest secured to a wagon.
     "That was given to us by a man named Barnabas as payment for a job he wished
done," pleaded Red Tail," we have stolen nothing."
     "Yes, I know about your deal with Barnabas," said Indimar, "I spoke to him the
very night you did.  He said you declined his offer, because you already had
something going and would be leaving Aradi in a couple days.  It was remembering that
conversation that set me right on your trail when I was notified something of great
worth had been stolen."
     "Go ahead and check the chest, it only contains gold," said Red Tail, his heart
trying to jump into his throat.  A couple of Aradi's finest came forward and removed
the chest from the cart, placing it before Indimar.  Indimar opened the chest,
revealing an impressive amount of gold pieces.
     "See," said Red Tail," just gold."  As soon as Red Tail finished his sentence,
Indimar kicked over the chest, spilling the gold, and rolling out from the bottom of
the chest to lay atop the gold, was a golden statue of a fish.  Once again, a baby
cried in the distance.  But it was not just any gold fish,  it was the Golden Scrod,
and as the early morning light danced across it's shiny surface, Red Tail couldn't
help but feel awed at the sight, even though it condemned him.
     "It's glorious," whispered Indimar, a single tear running down his cheek.
Slowly, he reached out with his hand to pick up the Golden Scrod, but stopped a
hair's breadth away and reluctantly pulled back his hand, "Not till it is mine by
right of victory, shall I touch the Golden Scrod, for until that time, I am unworthy
to grasp it tightly between my fingers."
     Snapping out of his own trance, Red Tail rapidly spoke," We've been set up!  I
don't know why but you must believe me!"  Indimar was about to speak when a soldier
came running up, having just inspected the boats.
     "Sir, the holds of the ships are filled with all kinds of livestock," reported
the soldier.  At this, Indimar's face grew dark, and he seemed to be exerting a
serious amount of energy to keep himself from striking Red Tail, who decided to take
a few steps back before once more pleading his case.
     "I know nothing of livestock either...." began Red Tail, but stopped when
Indimar raised his hand in a signal for silence.  He regained his composure once more
and spoke.
     "It is one thing to steal the Golden Scrod, but to steal livestock in Aradi is a
crime punishable by death.  We take our livestock very seriously here.  Enough talk,
the Chaos Lord (tm) will deal with you."
     A goat bleated in the distance.
     Red Tail gripped the bars of his cell, cursing the luck that brought him to this
damn island.  He wondered how the rest of his men were coping with the situation.
Apparently they were being kept outside of town in a roughly made prison, which
consisted of a wall and some lean-to's to protect them from the weather.  Red Tail
was kept in the main jail in the heart of Aradi for questioning, even though he knew
nothing.  After two days of questioning, Red Tail realized that Aradi was very close
to its livestock.  He along with the rest of his company were being sentenced to
death by scrod flatulence.  The only reason they were all still alive was because an
airtight room big enough for the entire company was still under construction.  Also,
the minions of this Chaos Lord (tm) were still in the process of harvesting scrod
colons for enough gas to kill one hundred men.  Evidently scrod flatulence was lethal
in a concentrated form, whereas a comparable amount of human flatulence was just
     "So, you're the leader of the Livestock Kidnapping Bandits?"
     Red Tail looked up and saw a young man standing outside his cell.  "Livestock
what?" replied Red Tail.
     The man held up the front page of a newspaper where in bold print was written:
     "Not the Aradi Free Press' best work, but catchy enough.  I'm called Pauly, and
I just saved your life.  At least for a while."
     "What are you talking about," asked Red Tail.
     "I know you were framed," started Pauly, "but unfortunately for you, no one's
going to take the word of a new, no name manager over that of Barnabas, a respected
member of the FONZ.  Well, member anyway.  Fortunately for you, I found another way
to gain your freedom without actually proving your innocence."
     "I don't care if the crazy people here think I'm innocent or not, I just don't
want to die from fish farts, for the love of the gods," cried Red Tail.
     "Yes, I can imagine how unpleasant that would be," mused Pauly who started
chuckling to himself, "Oh ho man!  That is a messed up way to die.  Ha ha ha...."
     "Hey, snap out of it," yelled Red Tail, "how are you getting me and my men out
of here?"
     "Sorry, " said Pauly, wiping tears from his face, "Here's the deal.  A special
new arena is being opened up in Shadowspire.  Any warrior competing in this arena is
not allowed to participate in any tournaments.  The idea is to bring back the honor
and glory befitting the title of Duelmaster.  Those who spearheaded this idea are
taking it very seriously and once you commit to the arena, you can never leave until
one of two things happen.  You die, or you prove through combat that you are worthy
enough to travel to the Isle of the Eye, where immortality awaits."
     "Well that's great," said Red Tail," but how does that get me out of here?"
     "I'm getting to that," answered Pauly, "calm down.  It wasn't easy, but I was
able to convince certain influential members of the community that Shadowspire might
as well be a prison since the warriors can't leave and also that the vast majority of
you and your band of mercs will most likely die anyway in the duels.  Plus, Indimar,
Nuln (the Chaos Lord (tm) you've been hearing about), and even a representative of
the Consortium will be running a stable in Shadowspire, so if they still demand
satisfaction for your actions in Aradi, they can gun for you on the arena sands.
See, everyone wins."
     "Yeah, thanks a lot Pauly," answered Red Tail, "certain death versus almost
certain death.  You really helped us out."
     "Hey," said Pauly," at least you have a chance to fight for your life in
Shadowspire.  It's better than being dutch ovened by a bunch of scrod.  Besides, I
can only fight five guys at a time so depending on how fast you guys get mowed down,
some of you might actually lead a long and prosperous life.  So, are you in?"
     "What have we got to lose?", said Red Tail, "When do we leave?"
     "Now," said Pauly.  At that moment a guard walked in and opened the cell door.
"Follow me to freedom.  Um, kind of," said Pauly.
     Pauly and Red Tail walked silently through the city on their way to collect the
rest of the Ale House Mercs.  Suddenly a thought occurred to Red Tail.
     "Hey, why did Barnabas frame us?  And what's in this for you?" asked Red Tail.
     "Well, Barnabas recently started up his own band of mercenaries and he didn't
like you horning in on his territory," answered Pauly.
     "That's it!?" cried Red Tail, "you've got to be kidding me!?"
     "Sadly, no," replied Pauly, "One thing people usually learn the hard way about
Barnabas, is that you do not screw with his action.  And to answer your second
question, it's simply to gain recognition and experience.  The Tournament Of the
Golden Scrod is the premiere event in Aradi, and next time it comes around I will be
in it and I will be a force to be reckoned with!  It will be my face emblazoned on
everyone's nut sack in TOGS VI!  Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!"
     "Pauly," said Red Tail, starting to reconsider the whole death by flatulence
thing, "PAULY!!"
     "...hahaha.....oh sorry," said Pauly, "I got caught up in the moment.  Anyhow, I
still have much to learn and much to prove to my peers before my dream of TOGS
domination can be realized.  So, are you going to be one of the first five?"
     "Absolutely," answered Red Tail, "My goal, nay, my obsession, is to seek out
vengeance against Barnabas.  The only way to do that is to fight my way to the Isle
of the Eye, and as an immortal, how can he stand against me?"
     In the distance, the crying of an infant could be faintly heard.
     "Okay!", yelled Red Tail, "what in the hells is with the crying baby, and that
goat that one time?"
     "Huh?  Oh, I guess I'm just used to Aradi now.  Some kind of random noise always
happens here when something dramatic takes place, or is about to happen.  Although
now that you mention it, it has been a crying baby more often than not lately.  Hmm.
Interesting," said the young manager.  Red Tail just shook his head.
     Once again they fell into silence as they walked through the city.  After a
couple of minutes they came upon some sort of temple like none Red Tail had ever
seen.  It....
     "Hey, cut out that description," Pauly yelled," Are you trying to get us sued
for copyright infringement?"
     "Wha..." began Red Tail, "never mind, fine, I won't look."
     As they neared the city gates, Red Tail saw a goat nosing through some trash.
As they passed the goat looked up and said, "Good luck in Shadowspire, Pauly."
     "Thanks Wayne, take it easy," replied Pauly.
     "Did that goat just talk?" asked Red Tail incredulously.
     "Yeah, of course," answered Pauly, "did you think I'd let a non-talking goat be
my lawyer?"
     "Wait," said Red Tail, "He's your lawyer?"
     "Hey, back off, " said Pauly defensively, "there was a little mix up about a
failed drug test that got leaked to the Aradi Free Press.  Needless to say, things
got a little messy and I needed some legal advice.  Let's just drop it okay?"
     "I need to get off this twisted island," said Red Tail, not for the first time.
     "I think you're right," answered Pauly, "you're way too high strung and serious
to live here.  Don't worry.  Soon we will be in Shadowspire, where death and glory
awaits.  The only question is which will you find?"
     In the distance, a baby goat bleated.
     "SHUT UP!!," yelled Red Tail.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Aradi -- I've finally achieved the lofty status of Duelmaster.  According to the
Creepster, this would be the first honor I've ever earned, seeing as my TC was given
to me and not earned.  I was hoping to achieve this honor during the TOGS, but failed
in my attempt.  I thought I might receive my invite to AD with the win, but I guess I
don't have enough FE to trigger graduation.  I hope to remain here for the next two
turns and graduate.

Derrin, you put up a good fight.  Unfortunately, I was able to weather the storm and
turn the tables.  Good luck to you in the future.

This turn, my challenges go to One Timer and Snow White.  I want to see if I can turn
around my recent bad luck versus scum.

Until next time, Aradi.


                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in ARADI!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Too bad, ARADI RESORT & SPA, but 
CRAZY CREEPS was just too good to be stopped.  The guys at DEATH STUDS VII like 
really pulled together to get a 5-0-1 this turn, moving up by 9.  What was the name 
of that team who got 4-0-0 this turn for a total 547-448-17 you ask?  (Sure)  CRAZY 
CREEPS' their name, and fighting's their game!  MVP award for HARSIESUS?  INQUISITION 
SG-1's proud of him after beating JIM PANZI and getting 25 points.  Talk about yer 
major upsets!  NATALIA's match with MADONNA cost her a loss of 15 points!  Like, 
DERRIN must be pretty gutsy!  He challenged the Duelmaster from CHILDHOOD TRAUMA.  
Does this guy have a death wish or what!  Don't you think the Duelmaster is being 
unfair?  I think MALT-O-MEAL should let DERRIN be Duelmaster for a while, without 
fighting about it.  Who was the wiseguy that said ARADI's Duelmaster was paying for 
drinks at The Victory Tavern?  Don't look at me!   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  The warriors of 4000 BLOWS must be 
getting lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I 
don't?  Is there some deep dark secret why CRAZY CREEPS' been avoiding 4000 BLOWS so 
much?  Or is it just that they're too scared?  Like, is ONE-TIMER popular, or what?  
He was challenged the most in all of ARADI!  He's got a 38-10-0, is that good?  For 
sure, I was holding my breath when I found out SNOW WHITE challenged JAMIS.  After 
all, haven't CRAZY CREEPS and WING HOVE had a long standing duel in ARADI?  It wasn't 
a spectacular fight, or anything, but JAMIS wants me to write about it since he lost 
to SNOW WHITE.  Satisfied?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All ARADI ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  What a bummer!  LOOSE DENTURES got wasted by EVIL XXV!  But with 
a 8-14-0, I guess AARP aren't too bummed.  What a bummer deal for DROUGHT!  She just 
barely was getting hers "fighter feet" but got kill by 3D'S NOT L33T of WILD CARDS!  
Those're the breaks, I guess.  It was so gross when 3D'S NOT L33T of WILD CARDS 
killed DROUGHT.  They should start making warriors use safer weapons, or more 
shields, or something...  Hey you guys, don't you think your families would like to 
hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Remember 
you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MALT-O-MEAL 7527             15   4  1   119       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ONE-TIMER 7169               38  10  0   138       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-PIZNAUL JIZNOKE 7641         13   4  1   128       THE BIZZLE (593)
 ETTIN 7600                   13   9  1   110       DILEN'S HORDE (587)
-SILENT SPOCKER 7700          13   3  0   107       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-SLIPKNOT 6674                18  16  0   105       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 SNOW WHITE 7486              15  10  0   105       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 JAMIS 6735                   17  19  1    99       WING HOVE (529)
 DERRIN 6952                  16  17  0    97       WING HOVE (529)
-WILLOW 6659                  10   4  2    95       DARK TOGS (526)
-TYVEK 7478                    8   7  0    93       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OSO 7682                     10  10  0    90       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HYDRO ON THE D-LO 7642       14   7  2    87       THE BIZZLE (593)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7487         14  11  0    87       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 LEG WARMER LUST 7717         12   7  1    87       4000 BLOWS (107)
 HARSIESUS 6871                9   4  1    87       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 JIM PANZI 7382               12  11  0    85       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 VIPER LXXI 7566              12  10  0    85       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-MOUSE 7318                   11  17  0    84       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-ENOCH PEABODY 7325           11   9  0    84       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 WHITE WITCH 7542             15   7  0    83       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-BUTTERFLY 7338               19  11  0    80       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 SPAM SANDWICH 7524           12  10  0    80       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 COYOTE 7626                  13  10  2    79       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-RUKGAZ 7564                  10   4  0    76       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 MANDA 7546                   14  12  1    75       ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
-LLUPERIOR LLORCES 5956       11   6  1    73       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 THE RIDDLER 7852              7   4  1    73       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-NINJA 7357                   10  12  0    68       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-LLUGS AND LLISSES 5887       12  12  1    67       LUROCIANS VI (431)
-BLOODLUST MUTE 7701           7   9  0    67       SILENT WARRIORS (561)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LAVA TUBE 7393               11   6  1    66       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 LOKI IX 7860                  6   2  0    66       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-F'SHIZZLE M'NIZZLE 7639       9   8  0    65       THE BIZZLE (593)
 ANALISE 7544                 12  14  1    64       ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
-ASGARD 6892                   4   4  0    63       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 ERUPTION 7310                 8   7  1    61       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 FLASH FIRE 7390              13  11  0    60       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 NIGHT HAG 7598               13   9  0    60       DILEN'S HORDE (587)
-IRREVOCABILITY 6549          12   9  1    60       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-LLUCKY DAY 6021              10   8  0    60       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 3D'S NOT L33T 7833            9   5  3    60       WILD CARDS (148)
 MADONNA 7780                 10   8  0    59       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-BOSTON TERRIER 7638           9  11  0    59       ATLAS PARK (592)
 DAYNE 7826                    7   8  0    59       WING HOVE (529)
 WRATH LIX 7899                5   2  0    58       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CIALIS 7659                   7   5  1    55       AARP (583)
 THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      12   7  1    54       4000 BLOWS (107)
 THALIA 7547                   8  18  0    54       ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
 EVIL XXV 7900                 5   2  1    54       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 RICKON 7830                   6   8  0    51       DILEN'S HORDE (587)
 WALMART GREETER 7576          8  14  0    50       AARP (583)
 NATALIA 7790                 10   7  0    47       ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
 KRAKEN 7679                   8  13  2    47       DILEN'S HORDE (587)
 INIYO 7865                    7   4  0    47       ARADI RESORT & SPA (580)
 RESPECT THE PACKAGE 7832      8   6  0    46       WILD CARDS (148)
-FLAMENCO A GO-GO 7662        10   9  0    43       ATLAS PARK (592)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-TIGER TY 7665                 9   8  1    42       WING HOVE (529)
-NEZUMI 7342                   7   6  0    41       THIEVES GUILD (396)
-POCY-HANTAS 7897              5   2  0    41       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627            7  16  1    38       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-AQUA NETTA 7775               7   6  1    36       THE BIZZLE (593)
 MACS 7797                     6  11  1    36       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 HOFFA 7713                    9   8  0    35       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-GAZREK 7858                   5   2  0    35       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RIP TORN 7850                 4   2  0    34       FUNKY FOLK (565)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HARRIET 7495                  5   4  0    33       THIEVES GUILD (396)
-LIMPY LIMPY 7046              3   4  0    33       LUROCIANS VI (431)
-MEALS ON WHEELS 7575          5   8  1    30       AARP (583)
-PRIVATE PARTS 7798            7   8  0    29       ATLAS PARK (592)
-FISH STICKS 7952              2   0  1    27       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 WHISTLE PIG 7806              4  13  0    25       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 ROSCOE 7883                   4   6  0    25       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PIGGY 6655                    2   3  0    22       DARK TOGS (526)
-BRAE'TAC 6895                 5   4  0    21       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 AIMLESS 7967                  2   1  0    21       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 911 7936                      2   2  0    20       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-LLAPPY LLILMORE 7133          3   4  0    19       LUROCIANS VI (431)
-IL WAMPYRE 6624               1   2  0    19       4000 BLOWS (107)
-DEW DROPS 7944                2   0  0    18       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-STRATEGERY 7939               1   0  0    15       VERBAL MISCUES (604)
-FONZ COLLUDER 7885            3   4  0    14       ATLAS PARK (592)
 SPEEDY GONZALEZ 7993          1   0  1    14       WHY MEETH? (607)
-PINK 7809                     3   3  0    12       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 RICKY J 7968                  1   2  0    11       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 HARD CIDER 7981               1   1  0    11       WILD CARDS (148)
 PIN DROP 7924                 1   0  0    11       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-MYSTIQUE 7932                 1   0  0     9       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-AFTERNOON NAP 7861            2   2  0     8       AARP (583)
-APOCALYPSE 7933               1   1  0     8       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-NIGEL STAPLER 7880            1   4  0     7       THE BIZZLE (593)
-LAUVIAH 7710                  1   0  0     7       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 JOHN DARME 7978               1   0  0     5       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 SANDY IN THE MORNING 7925     0   3  0     3       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 HAPPY G'MO' 7992              0   1  0     1       WHY MEETH? (607)
 PROXIMO 7991                  0   1  0     1       WHY MEETH? (607)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FRIENDLY CONSTABLE 2   0  1 0   1                   SPEEDY GONZALEZ 7993  405 NONE    
WHITE WEEYOTCH 7881    4  6 0 4000 BLOWS 107        JORGE BLACK ORC 20    405 NONE    
LOOSE DENTURES 7573    8 14 0 AARP 583              EVIL XXV 7900         405         
FALSE TEETH 7964       1  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  MACS 7797             405         
CONDI 7613             6  8 0 DILLIGAF LEGION 589   ANALISE 7544          401 NOT REVE
OSCAR 7994             0  1 0 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS 518  GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    405 NONE    
GEORGE 7995            0  1 0 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS 518  GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    405 NONE    
REDD EMSHIN 7917       1  2 0 FUNKY FOLK 565        DARK CHAMPION 24      405 NONE    
DROUGHT 7532           2  1 0 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 3D'S NOT L33T 7833    405         
DR H LECTER 7930       0  2 0 VILLAINOUS LEGION 605 FISH STICKS 7952      404         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

<blowing mightily on the mighty FONZ conche shell> -- FONZ team, ASSEMBLLLLLLLLE! --
Nuln, channeling the spirit of Ron Burgundy

Crazy Creeps Scribe -- Did you know that the FONZ is also responsible for taxes,
liver spots (ironic), lines in supermarkets, and reality tv?  Its true. -- Nuln,
proud FONZ non-member
P.S.  And we did steal your personals.  It's true, all true.

     You're responsible for the twenty minute wait I had at the grocery store?  I am
     NOT happy with you. -- Ed.
     P.S.  That's a collective you, by the way.

Tiny Tim -- You're trying to make me vomit, right? -- S. Crockett, beachside

AW&WFAFP Editor -- I hate to be nit-picky, but I feel the need to make one small
correction.  Last turn you made a reference to my "alliance mates."  However, I
regret to inform you that though mysterious, I have *no* alliance mates.  Non-
alliance mates, perhaps.  Alliance mates--definitely not.  Please make the necessary
adjustments to your records.  Sincerely, -- a mysterious benefactor
P.S.  And I did not collude!!!

Death ...(just) Stud -- My, we were awfully grumpy last turn.  Maybe you and Soulie
should nap together? -- Nuln

Soultaker -- I'll get your slippers for ya.  I can see this is going to be tough. --

Hydro D-LowLow, One-Timed -- See, D. Studabaker gets you all revved up for the d-
challenge, and I slip through the ol' front door with the massive up-challenge.  All
part of my master plan.... -- Nuln, who was actually too lazy to call in changes last

3d's Not L33t -- I feel so colluded against.  Your manager will be hearing from my
manager's lawyers! -- the Avenging Scrod

Aimless -- Thank you.  No really, thank *YOU*. -- White Weeyotch

Derrin -- Way to chop up that scum, One Timer. We hate scum! -- The Crazy Creeps

Wow!  Aradi Resort & Spa rolled into the top spot!  Finally great talent is
recognized. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe (badly needing a neck massage)

Malt-O-Meal?  DM?  Was this warrior transferred to another conniving manager's
direction? -- The Creepster (translated by Crazy Creeps Scribe with edits of many of
the four letter words.)

Ettin and Spam Sandwich -- White is the color of the day. -- Snow White & White Witch

Willow -- Lock your door, Bimbo!  My fingers are going to feel wonderful tightly
around your neck. -- Jack The Ripper

Nuln -- The AW&WFAFP is a high class seasonal publication, depending on when the
Aradi Senate is in session and upon the TOGS. -- Editor AW&WFAFP

Samwise -- Seriously, congrats on guiding Malt-O-Meal to the top. -- The Consortium

Hello all -- Sorry I've been out of touch, but life is definitely not Aradi
friendly...being laid off at the end of December, husband's mom died, bills, bills,
bills...you know, life. -- Lady E

Nuln, who doesn't know his friends' alphabet -- I, Lady "E" as in Excellent, have
been leading with Top Team not Lady "A", as in Absolutely inundated.  Just thought
I'd whap you 'side the head with a scrod so you'd pay attention, boy. -- Lady E,
taking off her fishy smelling gloves and throwing them away.

Death Stud -- Hey, cool little award certificate.  Don't we also get one for Top
Delarquan Team to finish TOGS too?!  And Lady A mentioned another one but I can't
remember what else we did...OH, how about Top Team who used mostly maintenance! --
Lady E ;)

Maintenance is a wonderful thing...and you can even win Top Team with it! --
Excerpted from Lady E's acceptance speech for her Top Team in Aradi trophy

Ed.!!!  Heya!  How's your lives doing?  Sorry been crazy busy...see above that's
life ad. -- Lady E

     Oh, about what you'd expect on this end, given everything.  Nothing like your
     recent craziness (that was several months ago for me). *smile* -- Ed.

When's the FTF again?  It will be lovely to see you boys again! -- Lady E

Shmamy Crockett -- Does your cocoon joke involve Wilford Brimley? -- Pauly

Indimar -- Blah blah blah blah blah, huh?  Well, why don't you try this on for size.
Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep. -- Pauly
P.S.  Just in case you weren't sure, bleep is just like blah, except it's profanity.

Dayne -- You should know better than to wake a sleeping bear. -- El Oso Furioso

Ed. -- Sorry for the short spotlight.  I promise they'll be at least twice as long
the next time the contest whose name shall not be mentioned for a good year rolls
around. -- Pauly

     *sticking fingers in ears* Lalalalalala, I can't hear you. -- Ed.

Aradi -- I apologize for my recent silence.  In the aftermath of the TOGS, I felt it
necessary to take a short vacation.  I'm back now and will remain active in the arena
and personals.  Feel free to visit the Choking Chicken for drinks after the duels. --
Samwise the Bald

Crazy Creeps Scribe -- You must be mistaken.  Should the FONZ choose to collude at
anything, we would be successful at it, yet here your personals ads are again in the
newsletter. -- the Spud Webb of the non-alliance

Enoch Peabody -- Yeah, that sucked.  May I say that you and your teammate have
inflicted a terrible injury to my self-confidence.  I hope you feel ashamed. -- Viper

Nuln -- My bad, you're right.  You should pull a Snotman or an Hombre and show up
with half your stuff timed and asking RSI to run minis when you get there just to see
who you might throw in.  Toss a dozen bad rookies on top and a failed Blood Games
try, and the weekend will be complete. -- Death Stud

Soultaker -- Oh, that was a puppy on the porch insult by Null.  Are you going to take
that lying down? -- Death Stud

Ed. -- I would like to officially request that you be MORE tired when editing for
Aradi (like asleep would be good).  It's awfully hard to bring the Ed. Hammer of
Destruction crashing down on an innocent and unsuspecting foe when you are exhausted.
-- Death Stud

     No, that just means it'd be even more random.  Wouldn't that be fun. *bright
     smile* -- Ed.

Indimar -- I can't believe you said that with a straight face. -- Death Stud

Pauly -- Would it be OK if I killed a couple of your warriors?  Yeah, thanks, that'd
be great.  And where are those TPS reports.  Did you see the memo about this? --
Death Stud

Leg Warmer Lust -- I know it's confusing for your manager, but a DOWN challenge is
where the other guy has LESS rec points than you.  Complicated, but I have faith for
next time. -- Death Stud

30 November 2006
NEED A TURF WAR ALLIANCE??  Master Beru, Wretch, Reaper, and Xoan have come together
to form an Alliance for the TURF WAR in DM47 with no regards for experience in
competitions or even the game.  If you want to enjoy the thrills of the competition,
we have space for up to three more managers.  Contact Master Beru at
d_spinella@msn.com for more information or send a note to Master Beru at DM 29--Army
of Darkness.  If you are interested, we need to move quickly, since the contest
starts in January and there are a few requirements to meet to participate.  May your
blades find the chinks in your enemy's armor. -- Master Beru

6 December 2006

As an American I honor my cultural heritage by stealing any good idea.  This idea was
originally proposed by Lord Xiang in November 2005.  RSI will be opening the arena
(81) for teams willing to sign the following pledge:

*  I pledge that I will not send warriors from this arena to a Tournament, nor will I
   use a Tournament prize on a warrior from this arena.
*  I pledge to run a full team when I run turns in this arena.  If circumstances
   preclude my running less than a full team I will notify the Player Committee.
*  I agree to abide by the decisions of the Player Committee.
*  I understand that any warrior that participates in a Tournament shall be sent to
   the Dark Arena until they are dead.
*  I understand that any warrior that receives a Tournament prize shall be send to
   the Dark Arena until they are dead.

The following are the rules for joining this No-Tournament arena
1.  No tournament play for warriors in this arena (Dead tournament or otherwise).
2.  One team per manager.
3.  Teams start with new rollup (or a zero fight equivalent team is transferred into
    this arena.)
4.  No tourney prizes allowed to modify warriors in the arena.
5.  Twenty teams required, per RSI.
6.  Waivers are required to allow self-regulation on tourney ban, granting RSI
    authority to Dark Arena any warrior that participates in a Tournament (until the
    warrior is dead).
7.  Rotating council to enforce tourney ban and maintain arena integrity.

The main purpose of the Player Committee is to maintain fair play in the arena:
*  Warriors that participate in Tournaments will be sent to the Dark Arena until they
   are dead.  This means that the Player Committee has the power to send another
   player's warrior to the Dark Arena
*  Managers that abuse the rules of the Arena may be banned/transferred from the

The player with the most votes for Chairman will fill slot 1 [Chairperson] and that
term expires end of March 2007.
The player with the most votes overall will fill slot 5 and that term expires end of
November 2007.
The player with the second most votes overall will fill slot 4 and that term expires
end of September 2007.
The player with the third most votes overall will fill slot 3 and that term expires
end of November 2007.
The player with the fourth most votes overall will fill slot 2 and that term expires
end of May 2007.

During the month that the chairperson's term expires the Player Committee will select
one of the remaining 4 players to be the next chairperson.  During the month that any
member's term expires the arena will vote for a different player to join the Players'

If you want to be a candidate for the player committee:
1.  Post a message in the Duel2 Forum at
2.  E-Mail Deke at DekeYoung@Comcast.NET
3.  Send a Diplomatic Note to Doc LeGrand's Lab [ARENA 81]

There are 4 steps to joining this arena
1) Send in a new team rollup to RSI with the following pledge taped/stapled to the
rollup sheet, or transfer a ZERO FIGHT EQUIVALENT TEAM to Arena 81 and send RSI the
following form.

No-Tournament Arena (81)
*  I pledge that I will not send warriors from this team to a Tournament, nor will I
   use a Tournament prize on a warrior from this team.
*  I pledge to run a full team when I run turns in this arena.  If circumstances
   preclude my running less than a full team I will notify the Player Committee.
*  I agree to abide by the decisions of the Player Committee.
*  I understand that any warrior that participates in a Tournament shall be sent to
   the Dark Arena until they are dead.
*  I understand that any warrior that receives a Tournament prize shall be send to
   the Dark Arena until they are dead.

[Sign your name here ..............................................................]

2) [Optional] post a message on the Duel 2 Forums in the Creating a No-Tournament
   Arena thread
3) [Optional] send an e-mail to DekeYoung@Comcast.NET with your team name
4) [Optional] Send a Diplomatic Note to Doc LeGrand's Lab in Arena 81 with your team
   name and intent to join Arena 81 and abide by the Arena rules.

     RSI will be processing overviews for this arena as soon as you send them into
     The first turn will run in January 2007.  This will be a normal speed arena.
     While I am encouraging everyone to use TEAM MAINTENANCE it is not mandatory.
The intent is that players that run turns will run a full team.  One warrior teams
are discouraged and will a topic for the Player Committee to resolve.
     I also encourage players to join the Duel2 Yahoo Group for faster updates and
feedback.  http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/duel/

There are already 29 managers already committed to the project
x    Apex = CAROLINA BLUE -- Cf PC -- Cf PCC
x    Bill (I think this is the same person) = CLUB CUTTHROAT
x    Blackstorm = DARK ENCLAVE -- Cf PC
     Master Darque = DARQUE AGES
x    DeGotti = CULT OF BACCHUS
x    Drake = DRAKE'S HARDWARE -- Cf PC
     Grimm = FURRY FURY
     Ikillu = BATTLE GRUNTS
x    Indimar = AS SEEN ON TV II
x    Kat = KATHOUSE
x    Kellumbo = KELLUMBO'S KIDS
x    Le Pentarque = LA PENTARCHIE
x    Master Beru = CHILDHOOD HEROES -- Cf PC
x    Pauly = ALE HOUSE MERCS
     Ragnarokwolf = RAGNAROK'S WOLVES
x    Rillon = THE DRAUGS
x    Roadkill = STREET WALKERS
     Seraphim = LEGION OF SOLITUDE
x    Terminator = WARMASTERS
x    The Consortium = LIFE IMPACTS -- Cf PC -- Cf PCC

X  = 17 Team Rollups received by RSI as of 29 November 2006
Cf = Candidate for
PC = Player Committee
PCC = Player Committee Chairperson

     Deke Young will not be part of the inaugural Player Committee, maybe later once
the Arena direction has been developed.
     Any questions can be directed to DekeYoung@Comcast.NET
     I will track Awards in Arena 81, which will be posted on a web site and included
in the following turn's newsletter.

The Honor of Sunset Award:
     The first team to reach 10 Team Kills.  In the case that there is more than one
team that achieves 10 Team Kills on the same turn, I will pay the Award to the team
with the most kills.  If two or more teams are tied for Team Kills, I will prolong
the contest until one team has the most Kills in the Arena (it does not have to be
one of the teams that first reached 10 Team Kills.)

The Race to Victory Award:
     The first team to reach 75 Team Wins.  In the case that there is more than one
team that reaches 75 Team wins on the same turn, I will pay the Award to the team
with the most wins.  If two or more teams are tied for Team Wins, I will prolong the
contest until one team has the most wins in the Arena (it does not have to be one of
the teams that first reached 75 Team Wins.)

The Commitment to Change Award:
     The first team to reach 125 Team Fights.  In the case that there is more than
one team that reaches 125 Team Fights on the same turn, I will pay the Award to the
team with the most fights.  If two or more teams are tied for Team Fights, I will
prolong the contest until one team has the most fights in the Arena (it does not have
to be one of the teams that first reached 125 Team Fights.)  I hope I never give out
this award {figure it out on your own.}

The Team Advancement Award:
     The first team to graduate 5 warriors to ADM.  In the case that there is more
than 1 team that graduates 5 warriors on the same turn, I will pay the Award to the
first team to graduate 6 warriors.  In the case that there is more than 1 team that
graduates 6 warriors on the same turn, I will pay the Award to the first team to
graduate 7 warriors, and so on.

The Iron Throne Award:
     The first team to hold the Duelmaster for 10 turns STARTING ON TURN 11.

The Stylemaster Award.
     The first team to hold the Stylemaster Award in 7 different styles, STARTING ON
TURN 11.  If two teams obtain Stylemaster Awards in 7 styles on the same turn, the
goal will be increased to 8 Styles.

Team Recognition Points:  The total recognition points for all warriors in the arena
The Iron Throne Ledger:  We will track who has been the Duelmaster every turn in
     Arena history.
Iron Throne Counter:  The total number of times a team has been the Duelmaster.
Composite Team Stylemaster awards:  The number of times a team has had any of the 10
     Stylemasters.  Having 2 Stylemasters = 2 points that turn.
Challenge win percentage:  How often your warriors win when they challenge.
Challenge Defender rate:  How often your warriors win when they WERE challenged.
Team Invitations:  Number of warriors graduated to ADM.
Team Graduation Rate:  Total team fights/Graduated Warriors.
Team Kill Percentage:  Total of team Kills/Team Fights
Team Death Percentage:  Total of Team Deaths/Team Fights
Team Revenge Rate: Number of Deaths/BloodFeuds Revenged (Note that the Dark Arena
     will be counted as not-revenged.)  You only get credit for one successful
     BloodFeud per death (though I encourage you to BloodFeud all 4 turns.)
Current Win Streaks:  Warriors that have gone the most turns without losing or
     missing a turn.
Team Yahtzee counter:  Number of times a team has gone 5-0 in a turn.
Team Bagel counter:  Number of times a team has fought without a win.
Team Dark Arena counter:  Number of times each team has used the Dark Arena.
The Most Feared (avoided) Team counter:  Number of turns that team was the most
     avoided team.

     We will create a web page just for Arena 81 category leaders.
     Hope to see you there. -- Deke

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WHITE WEEYOTCH was butchered by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
REDD EMSHIN was dispatched by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
OSCAR was easily killed by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
GEORGE was assassinated by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
SNOW WHITE unbelievably bested JAMIS in a 6 minute veteran's Challenge contest.
DERRIN was bested by MALT-O-MEAL in a 1 minute expert's Challenge Title brawl.
WHITE WITCH luckily beat MANDA in a 4 minute veteran's Challenge struggle.
SPAM SANDWICH overpowered DAYNE in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
JACK THE RIPPER unbelievably bested COYOTE in a 7 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
VIPER LXXI overpowered ANALISE in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge fight.
THE RIDDLER overpowered THALIA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
LOKI IX demolished RESPECT THE PACKAGE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
WRATH LIX demolished YELLOW JACKET in a 1 minute gory mismatched Challenge match.
EVIL XXV easily killed LOOSE DENTURES in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
AIMLESS was vanquished by INIYO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
ROSCOE was unbelievably bested by HOFFA in a 8 minute brutal Challenge fray.
RICKY J was bested by WHISTLE PIG in a 2 minute amateur vs. veteran Challenge brawl.
FALSE TEETH was executed by MACS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
ETTIN overpowered LEG WARMER LUST in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
ONE-TIMER bested OSO in a action packed 6 minute veteran's bout.
JIM PANZI was demolished by HARSIESUS in a action packed 1 minute uneven bout.
NATALIA was overcome by MADONNA in a 1 minute veteran's contest.
THE AVENGING SCROD was demolished by LAVA TUBE in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
NIGHT HAG unbelievably bested WALMART GREETER in a 6 minute veteran's match.
KRAKEN was overpowered by ERUPTION in a exciting 1 minute uneven match.
FLASH FIRE vanquished RIP TORN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fray.
RICKON overpowered 911 in a 1 minute uneven competition.
3D'S NOT L33T executed DROUGHT in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
SANDY IN THE MORNING was handily defeated by PIN DROP in a 3 minute one-sided fight.
HARD CIDER demolished PROXIMO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
HAPPY G'MO' was beaten by JOHN DARME in a 2 minute novice's bout.
SPEEDY GONZALEZ easily killed FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 15         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -   7 -  1      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         TOTAL PARRY      110 - 104 -  1      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         STRIKING ATTACK  113 - 109 -  8      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         WALL OF STEEL     31 -  35 -  3      47  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         LUNGING ATTACK    88 - 110 -  4      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         AIMED BLOW        45 -  58 -  2      44  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -   6 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  55 -  2      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK    10 -  18 -  0      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   6 -  0      33  |

Turn 405 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  9         4  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        8 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  7     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  4         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MALT-O-MEAL 7527           15   4  1  119 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
LUNGING ATTACK   ETTIN 7600                 13   9  1  110 DILEN'S HORDE (587)
AIMED BLOW       LEG WARMER LUST 7717       12   7  1   87 4000 BLOWS (107)
PARRY-STRIKE     JIM PANZI 7382             12  11  0   85 FUNKY FOLK (565)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE RIDDLER 7852            7   4  1   73 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
PARRY-LUNGE      FLASH FIRE 7390            13  11  0   60 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
WALL OF STEEL    THE AVENGING SCROD 7649    12   7  1   54 4000 BLOWS (107)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DERRIN 6952.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
OSO 7682.  The ten other most popular fighters were COYOTE 7626, JAMIS 6735, WALMART 
GREETER 7576, MANDA 7546, ONE-TIMER 7169, ROSCOE 7883, RICKY J 7968, ETTIN 7600, 
HAPPY G'MO' 7992, and SPAM SANDWICH 7524.

The least popular fighter this week was HOFFA 7713.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PROXIMO 7991, PIN DROP 7924, DROUGHT 7532, 911 7936, THE AVENGING SCROD