DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/23/2007    Duedate: 04/05/2007

ARADI ARENA

DM-60    TURN-412

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

RIP RAP
SWIFT CURRENT (468)
(60-6599) [17-13-1,125]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SANDY BEACH                    STAIN
SWIFT CURRENT (468)            FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
(60-6957) [17-6-2,133]         (60-8098) [2-0-2,53]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FLOWER                         MADONNA
RED DOG GANG (476)             THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
(60-7255) [22-29-0,101]        (60-7780) [14-11-1,77]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

SWIFT CURRENT (468)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LIVING SHADOWS (616)        57
2. CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)         36      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)   30      Unchartered Team
4. FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)     30
5. ANGELS OF DEATH (617)       28      FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   103  74  5 58.2   1/ 1 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      10  5 1
 2/ 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    495 388 16 56.1   2/ 2 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       9  6 0
 3/ 3 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       560 457 18 55.1   3/ 4*CREEPSTERESE (606)        8  3 1
 4/ 4 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      132 112 11 54.1   4/ 5 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        7  2 0
 5/ 5 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  711 607 26 53.9   5/13 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  6  6 0
 6/ 6 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  65  5 52.2   6/ 8 RED DOG GANG (476)        6  9 0
 7/ 0 WILD OATS (618)           52  49  1 51.5   7/12 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       5  9 1
 8/ 7 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    27  26  1 50.9   8/10 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  3  3 0
 9/ 9*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    2   2  2 50.0   9/ 3 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     3  4 0
10/10 THIEVES GUILD (396)      173 174  6 49.9  10- 6*DEATH STUDS XII (602)     3  6 1
11/11 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  41  42  2 49.4  11/ 7 4000 BLOWS (107)          3  9 0
12/ 8 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    64  66  1 49.2  12/11 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    3  9 0
13/12 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)      128 133  8 49.0  13/17 THIEVES GUILD (396)       2  1 0
14/13 4000 BLOWS (107)         668 734 31 47.6  14/14 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    2  1 0
15/18*CREEPSTERESE (606)         9  10  2 47.4  15/16*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   2  2 2
16/ 0 HEDONISTS (297)           30  34  1 46.9  16/ 9 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   2  2 1
17-14 WING HOVE (529)           90 103  4 46.6  17/ 0*ANGELS OF DEATH (617)     2  3 0
18/15 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       55  66  2 45.5  18-15 WING HOVE (529)           2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  56  80  6 41.2  19/20 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      2  8 2
20-17*DEATH STUDS XII (602)      8  12  1 40.0  20/ 0 HEDONISTS (297)           1  2 1
21/ 0*ANGELS OF DEATH (617)      2   3  0 40.0  21/19 FUNKY FOLK (565)          1  2 0
22/20 FUNKY FOLK (565)          48  76  4 38.7  22/22*VERBAL MISCUES (604)      0  4 0
23/21 RED DOG GANG (476)       337 547  4 38.1  23/21 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    0  2 0
24/22*VERBAL MISCUES (604)       1  21  0  4.5  24/ 0 WILD OATS (618)           0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                          Red Iron Knights
                      "...and so it begunned"

>>Aradi, Awhile Ago>>

     Nuln slouched in his office, casually thumbing through the past week's mail, the
coffee not quite having hit the brain.  Outside, a chicken made a gobbling noise.
Grabbing his Letter Opener of Doom (tm) with a fatalistic grimace, the Chaos Lord
(tm) went to work with a sudden gusto on the sealed paper packages.  First to face
the LOoD's wrath was a missive from the Gladiatorial Commission, containing
instructions in Chaos-Speaketh on how to properly fill out his warrior's order forms.
Nuln made use of his trash can.  Next were several notices of FONZ non-meeting dates,
which had already not occurred three months ago.  Nuln practiced his lefty sky-hook,
nailing one off the gothic chandelier overhead, nearly knocking one of the lamps off.
In a large, bulky envelope from his agent were some press clippings of his latest
autobiography "Chaotic Times," and--
     Nuln looked up as Goose the goose waddled sloppily into his office without a
knock, slapping down a disorganized heap of paperwork as he reached the Chaos Lord's
(tm) already disorganized desk.  Unfortunately, the gallons of Olde English perfume
did nothing to mask the odor of gallons of malt liquor recently drunk, only adding to
Nuln's desire to play "toss the fowl out the window."  Nuln eyed the portly bird
expectantly, trying to will a cohesive answer from his beak.
     "Eeeeeeeeeeh-hem." Goose cleared his throat after a slight pause, causing Nuln
to drop his face into his hands.  For a moment he wobbled, though in a perfect
spiral, then gathered himself, placing one wing on the pile of papers he'd just
brought in to steady himself.  This was followed by a pause that continued close to
interminably.
     "Whicheth arenas??" Nuln said slowly, like talking to small child or a drunk
goose.
     "62 and 66!  Filed and completed, sir, Nuln, sir!"  Goose said after another
dangerously long moment of silence, mock saluting the Chaos Lord (tm) and pounding
the papers for added emphasis.  Pausing again because he was enjoying it now, Goose
did an abrupt about face and waddled unsteadily back from whence he'd come.  [There
were those who might question the logic of a manager who placed administrative
responsibilities of his stables in the hands/wings of a goose who had every major
drug dependency and bad habit known to man (and goose).  However, help was hard to
find these days, good or bad, and talking geese were a rare and thus valuable
commodity.]  Outside, the sound of a goose vomiting could be heard.
     Nuln shook his head for the millionth time and went back to the mail.  Trying
for better luck, he grabbed a small, square envelope at the back of the pile from an
address he instantly recognized in Shadowspire.  The sender, signed only "Garrett,"
used the Macanudo Street number that Nuln had sent his original inquiry.  Brushing
his other paper work aside, Nuln opened the letter his pulse quickening a  bit, and
read the following:
     Mr. Kinthedfell,
          After reviewing several offers, I have decided to tender my business to you
     at the terms we previously discussed.  This includes in its entirety: (1) my
     business name; (2) my property on Macanudo Street [with all furniture and
     furnishings left within]; and (3) my journal of contacts as well as case files.
          I want you to know that I did not make this decision lightly.  More than
     any of the other offers I was struck by the candor of your letter, when most in
     your position and stature are made of facades and hidden agendas.  There are few
     guarantees in life, but knowing the truth of something can be a certain kind of
     peace of mind.
          One last thing: as I mentioned in our first contact, the property on
     Macanudo comes with a pre-existing tenant.  While it's entirely up to you
     whether to continue his lease or not, I think after the two of you have a chance
     to speak, you'll be convinced to keep him on.  He lives on the bottom floor,
     down the hall, the only door on the left.

Good luck,
     Garrett

There was also an attachment with instructions on payment, which Nuln made a note of
(all in silver bars).  It looked as if a trip to Shadowspire was in his immediate
future.

>>Shadowspire, Awhile Ago, But a Little Later>>

     The north end of Macanudo Street was not in the best part of Shadowspire, a
gritty jumble of one and two story houses, huts, bungalows and hovels, all in varying
states of disrepair.  Not wishing to draw certain attentions to himself, Nuln had
shed his usual black mail and chain ensemble for a tattered brown and black cloak
along with a battered, wide-brimmed hat pulled down low.  Though a tall man, he stood
less so now as he walked with a stoop and a slight limp, looking like an old roust-a-
bout from the lower end of the social spectrum.  His waist was bare, and he appeared
to carry nothing, though his costume was plenty baggy.
     It was quite early in the morning on a weekend, and the streets were mostly
empty, though Nuln spied a group of figures up ahead.  As he got closer he saw it was
a small pack of ogre and half-ogre teens smoking weed, and judging by the size and
density of the cloud surrounding them doing quite an admirable job of it.  Nuln heard
one of them say something as he passed them, then they all laughed.  But he knew
little ogrish, and didn't have time to settle scores real or imaginary at the moment.
The sidewalk dipped and curved back up, Nuln noticed many tiny side-streets and what
would have to be crawl-ways that leaked onto Macanudo.
     As he reached the front entrance, Nuln smiled.  Just as he had pictured it from
the description: a somewhat dilapidated 2 story, though with a nice new coat of deep
red paint.  Past a low wooden gate he reached the steps leading up to the landing on
the front porch.  Two well-made imitation suits of armor which had been shellacked in
the same red paint stood at attention on either side of the front door, over which a
sign had been painted:

               Red Iron Knights

               Investigator & Confidential Agent

     "'Mornin' boys," Nuln greeted the dusky sentries, pulling out his set of keys,
"Keep up the good work then."
     The door swung open easily, and stepping inside Nuln could feel a presence
inside with him.  He closed the door behind him and took in his surroundings.  Off to
the right he could see the kitchen, and off to the side of that a closed door he
suspected might be the office.  Directly before him were the stairs leading to the
second floor, while off to the left was a hallway that bent around a corner and out
of his sight.  That was where he sensed something or someone.  The "pre-existing
tenant" he suspected.
     Nuln decided on the kitchen.  To his pleasant surprise it was fully stocked and
equipped,  and he grinned even wider when he saw a full keg of the famous "Weider's"
ale resting cold on tap.  After helping himself to an overflowing mug, Nuln sat at
the large dining table.
     Opening the shades, bright sunlight flooded the room.  After a few more pulls on
the nectar of the gods, Nuln got up suddenly and went quickly back to the office.
Besides the desk, two chairs, and one other item, the room was bare.  The one other
item was a leather bound, brass-spiral notebook, literally bursting with pages, and
tied together with a strap.  Nuln grabbed it and returned to his seat at the kitchen
table.
     Opening to the front of the notebook, Nuln found the list of contacts he was
looking for.  There was quite a long list of entries, some with more detailed
descriptions than others.  One drew a chuckle from him: "Doris, Marsha & Dojango--
Triplets from three seperate fathers [??]" then "...great hired muscle, but DO NOT
leave unaccompanied in a bar with a weeks pay..." Despite their names they were all
guys too, apparently.  Nuln shook his head, but a smile had crossed his lips.
     Finishing off the mug, he eyed the hallway on the far side of the building.
     "For another day, whoev'reth thou'rt." Nuln said more to himself, standing up
and walking to the front door.
     The yellow sun had come all the way up now, and hung low in the sky.
     "I better get backeth to Aradi and check on Goose." Nuln thought absently to
himself, and locked the door behind him.  "It may already be too late..."

>>Still Shadowspire, Still Later>>

     Pauly was bent over in laughter at a private booth in the Gringolet lounge,
sharing a pitcher of suds with Nuln.  The Chaos Lord (tm) had contacted him and told
him to meet there, after getting the ok from the proprietor, JGW, to hole up for a
while.  Nuln was in the middle of recounting how he had walked in on Goose performing
a ritual sacrifice of 444 ducks (long story, but Goose and the duck species don't get
along).  In Nuln's kitchen.  After Nuln had assessed and done damage control, he had
ended up missing turns in both Shadowspire and Tarrgir.  (Goose claimed weakly that
the paper had "eaten itself.")  So now when he returned to Shadowspire, he had to
sneak past the Player Committee sentries by hiding inside a block of ice of an ice
merchant passing through.  He was hoping Pauly would put him up until his lawyers
straightened everything with the Player Committee.(Beheadings were common punishments
for those who disobeyed the PC.)
     "Yeah, you can snag the couch," Pauly reassured the Chaos Lord.  As Nuln got up
to give a message for JGW to deliver, Pauly's gaze drifted to an open window across
the room, which conveniently enough framed perfectly the mountain after which the
town was named.
     Instantly the camera zoomed into a close-up of Pauly "2-3" Fallon's face, a look
of utterly grim determination on his face.
     "Oh, the secret of Shadowspire will be mine." Pauly whispered to himself, "Oh
yes, I can assure you."
     "What was thateth?" said Nuln loudly, returing to the table.  "Were you saying
somethingeth?"
     "Oh nothing." said Pauly, flashing a smile, "Nothing at all."

>>Shadowspire Again, Last Turn>>

     Nuln was in the kitchen on Macanudo, having breakfast with his attorney, Bernie,
celebrating their victory in court over the Player Committee.
     "That was a brilliant defenseth, Bernie," Nuln said, gesturing with a wedge of
fried ham for emphasis, "I was obviously not competent to not not send a letter to
the PC if my incompentant and drug-addled assistant hadn't taken time off his job to
kill how many?  22 score of duck.  You really confused 'em with the double and triple
negatives, I couldst tell."
     "You got lucky wit dat jury, kid, I'm tellin' ya.  But now you're free until
that damn goose pops a screw loose again.  Would you put your team on maintenance for
my peace of mind?  Would you just do that?  Okay, I gotta run.  I got a client who
missed his last fight because of severe bed-head, PC wants him aced."
     As Bernie left, Nuln breathed a sigh of relief.  Then he remembered all his
other legal troubles and cursed.  And so it began...

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Dark and Stormy Night ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                        or
                             Arenamaster Harkon Returns
                                      Part 2

     Gerbent and Scruff settled into the rear seat of the black carriage, looking
around uneasily.  It was as dark inside the carriage as outside in the night, but
surprisingly comfortable if you didn't mind a whiff of sulfur now and then.  It
started moving.
     "Ah... shouldn't you light the lamps?" Gerbent asked.
     "No."  It was the Black Orc's gravelly voice.  "We're engaged in Dark Deeds.
Lamps would be inappropriate.  Artistically unsound."
     "We're making a statement," the driver added.  He didn't sound happy about it.
     "Maybe you should consider stating something else?" Scruff suggested.
     "Do you think we haven't considered that?" the orc growled.  "The only
alternative we were offered was running the length of Alastari with scissors."
     "That... isn't supposed to be a good idea," Gerbent admitted.
     "The whole length of Alastari?" Scruff asked, impressed.
     "Trocar to Snowbound."  The driver flipped the reins as though he expected them
to set off something disastrous.  The dark horses leaped forward, the carriage leaped
forward... upward?
     "Which was a lesson to us," the orc said, "never to gamble with demons.
Especially not a 'friendly game' of poker.  As if there is such a thing!  We should
have known better."
     The driver, in the voice of one who will be fair at all costs, said, "You did
know better.  You tried to talk me out of it."
     "Yeah, well, I'll add 'trying to talk an arenamaster out of foolishness' to the
list of things I now know better than to do.  Huh, playing cards with arenamasters
should go on that list, too, I think."
     Scruff could smell the driver--an arenamaster, apparently--getting ready to
argue that last point.  He didn't want to listen to it, so he said, "How long will it
take us to reach Point?"
     "No idea," the orc said.  The carriage shifted a little as he leaned to look
over the side.  "We seem to be... crossing the bay," he added.  "About ten feet above
the water.  I don't like it."
     "Live with it," the driver advised.  "Vashku said we'd run parallel to the
coast, but far enough out to miss it all.  I don't care for it much, myself, but I
think the idea is to miss Ti.  Or where Ti used to be."
     "Oh.  I'm partial to tea," Gerbent offered.
     "Not the kind you drink," the orc said.  He sounded impatient.  "Which you
should know.  The town of Ti-that-Was.  Apparently when Krael came up, Ti went down."
     "Or something," the driver added.  "The beach is still there, even a little
creek I remember at the edge of town."  He paused, then added reminiscently, "I used
to catch crawdads there when I was a kid."
     The image of an arenamaster as a kid, catching crawdads or doing anything else,
silenced them all for several minutes.  Then the orc said, "You didn't grow up in Ti,
Harkon."
     "Of course not!  I'm from Sunset originally.  I know that.  But I used to visit
an aunt in Ti.  She moved away before the town did, to Khalhums or somewhere odd.  I
never did find out why, but my father--she was my mother's sister, not his--used to
hint when he was drunk."
     More silence, except for a sort of glassy hiss of wind blowing through the
beaded fringe around the roof of the carriage.  Scruff, making sure he had a firm
grip on the carriage seat, leaned over far enough to rest his chin on the edge and
look down.
     Choppy waves about ten feet below, racing past at a brisk speed.  About a fast
trot, he decided.  There was a little bit of reflected moonlight on the side of each
wave, and it was red.  He rolled his eyes to check the moon.  Blue.  Well, white with
a bluish tinge.
     "This doesn't smell right," Scruff said.  "Not like the Trier at Tobir, it
doesn't."
     "Why should it?" Gerbent asked.  "We aren't AT Tobir now."
     "But--"
     "Don't tell us things like that," the driver said.  "I know quite well that
we're in some half-dimension that allows us to travel this way, but I don't want to
think about the details, okay?"
     "At least it isn't a cliche," the orc said.
     "Why should it be?" Gerbent asked.  "And what kind of cliche would be
appropriate here?"
     "Tentacles."
     "Like those?"  Scruff pointed.
     The carriage rocked a little as everyone turned to look.
     "You just HAD to mention tentacles, didn't you, Jorge?" the driver snarled.
"You KNEW how suggestible these half-dimensions are!"
     "Coulda been worse," the orc said, unrepentant.  "I won't say worse HOW,
though."  There was a flash of teeth as he grinned.
     "Maybe we have to rescue the golden-haired daughter from the tentacles," Gerbent
suggested.
     "No."  Scruff didn't care for tentacles, and he didn't want to mix with them.
"Arenamaster Vashku said the golden-haired daughter was in Point.  Those tentacles
are NOT in Point, so they're irrelevant."
     "Ah, yes," the driver said, "that is a good, if you will pardon the pun, point.
We'll just ignore them."
     "If we can," the orc muttered under his breath.
     "Of cousre we can!  Vashku loaned us his carriage for our clearly understood
purpose of returning to Aradi now that TOGS is over.  He wouldn't--"
     "And if you believe that, there's a bridge in Andor I want to sell you," the orc
muttered.

     The carriage moved in whistling silence for several minutes.  Finally,
reluctantly, Scruff said, "The tentacles are keeping pace with us."
     "Pacemaker to the Tentacles," the orc, Jorge muttered.  "That will look odd on
my resume.  Assuming I live to need a resume."
     "You can't die!" the arenamaster said.  "You're needed in the Dark Arena.
People have been WAITING for you to come back to Aradi."
     "Waiting for you, too, Hark."
     "I guess.  Arena administration stuff.  I'd rather fight--"
     "Don't say it!"
     "--Tentacles."
     "The tentacles are getting ahead of us," Gerbent said.  "They're pulling away
fast.  That must mean we won't have to fight them."
     "More likely, they're getting ahead so they can set a trap," the orc growled.
"It's the sort of thing a bunch of creepy interdimensional tentacles would do."

     "Time to turn inland," the driver, Arenamaster Harkon of Aradi, said.  He said
it with satisfaction.  "If the Tentacles are laying a trap, they have just lost their
chance."  He flicked the reins, causing the carriage to tilt slightly and move in a
gentle arc toward the shore.
     "We should be so lucky," Gerbent muttered, not quite under his breath.
     "You got that right," the orc growled.  "The Tentacles probably know where we're
going, and they're setting their trap THERE, on the shore."
     "Don't SAY those things, Jorge!" the driver protested.  "You're invoking clisays
right and left!"
     "Sometimes life IS a clishay," the orc argued.  "You just have to go with it."
     "Not if I don't want to!"
     Scruff cleared his throat, a small bark, just to get their attention.  "We're
about to crash into some rocks," he said.  "Unless the carriage is going to jump over
them," which was not impossible for this demonic equipage, "we should steer around
them."
     The arenamaster turned away from his argument with a jerk, which included a jerk
on the reins.  The horse--or whatever was hitched to this carriage--swerved as
abruptly and tipped sharply to one side.  Everyone slid on the shiny leather seats.
     The rock they had just avoided slid, too, moving to stay in front of them.
     "Oh, great," the orc muttered.  "First Tentacles, and now a Living Stone.  Get
us to SHORE somewhere, Hark, I want ground under my feet when I have to fight."

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Bow to your new Duelmaster mere mortals of Aradi.  I, Rip Rap ripped old Viper with
my back up dagger for 2 minutes until Vipe decided enough.  Well old Death Stud, told
ya I could beat him, maybe 1 out of 5 but still, I beat ya!  Pauly, been listening to
that mouth of yours long enough, I have decided to double challenge Oso and give you
your shot.  After I smash you perhaps you can find a corner and whine to yourself.

                                Rip Rap

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of ARADI!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, 
Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  There were bitter words at NATURAL 
DISASTERS' guildhouse after a 1-1-0 showing this week which dropped the stable into 
16th.  Dark Arena anyone?  Warriors--remember that glory waits always around the 
corner!  Witness how this week BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS went 4-0-0 to move up 8 in the 
rankings.  Did only my eyes note the 3-0-0 record which CRAZY CREEPS managed to post 
this round?  I don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers!  THE RIDDLER 
caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested THE 
TAIL and was awarded 15 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable 
duels, RICKY J put down ROCKY BANKS, causing him to lose 11 points of recognition in 
the process.  As is fitting, the most sought after warrior on the challenge boards 
this week was none other than Duelmaster RIP RAP herself.  Who here was not present 
for the title fight this week as VIPER LXXI boldly challenged RIP RAP in order to 
strive for the Duelmasters honors?  Although VIPER LXXI made a valiant effort, it did 
not suffice to topple the reign of victorious RIP RAP.  No confirmation, but my 
sources claim that the top team has gained their position using magical aids.  
Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  ARADI, city of gladiators!  Mighty 
among the names of thy guilds is CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, a guild shunned and avoided by 
many in the weekly duels.  Apparently the stalwarts of SWIFT CURRENT are catching the 
bulk of jests down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  A 
match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that SPAM SANDWICH 
posted a challenge against the more highly recognized COYOTE.  The results, you ask?  
Well, the firebrand SPAM SANDWICH lost to COYOTE.  Remember warriors, this is the 
discipline of steel.   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  Look no more for IRREVOCABILITY in the arena or on the streets of 
ARADI.  His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena.  Inevitable for one at 12-9-1.  
JOSEPHINE has sworn to take up religion upon living to tell of hers recent bout with 
the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare thing indeed!  This week marked the last days of 
HALF-PINT who at 7-5-0 was dispatched to the Dark Arena by the command of HEDONISTS' 
demanding management.  Look no more for PUNCH-DRUNK in the arena or on the streets of 
ARADI.  His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena.  Inevitable for one at 7-4-1.  Strange 
what qualities come forth in the face of certain doom.  STAIN has the town astir with 
the news of his Dark Arena victory!  DS3 has sworn to take up religion upon living to 
tell of its recent bout with the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare thing indeed!  Death has 
again visited the sands of our arena.  DEW DROPS has claimed the life of SANDY IN THE 
MORNING.  Do any doubt that NATURAL DISASTERS will seek a bloody revenge?  Let all 
swords of the city take heed!  By law, FUNKY FOLK has but one remaining week to take 
their revenge upon ROSCOE for the slaying of RIP TORN.  My hearty congratulations DEW 
DROPS, for thy revenge upon SANDY IN THE MORNING, slayer of thy fallen comrade.  Next 
time she will know better, eh?  Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears 
arms.  One thing is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till next we 
meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by 
the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RIP RAP 6599                 17  13  1   125       SWIFT CURRENT (468)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SANDY BEACH 6957             17   6  2   133       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 COYOTE 7626                  19  11  2   122       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 SLIPKNOT 6674                19  17  0   105       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7487         17  12  0   104       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 JIM PANZI 7382               15  13  0   104       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 OSO 7682                     13  13  0   104       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-SNOW WHITE 7486              16  11  0   103       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 FLOWER 7255                  22  29  0   101       RED DOG GANG (476)
-WHITE WITCH 7542             17   9  0   101       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-ENOCH PEABODY 7325           12   9  0    98       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 STEVIE 7271                  19  26  0    91       RED DOG GANG (476)
 THE RIDDLER 7852             10   7  2    91       CRAZY CREEPS (207)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPAM SANDWICH 7524           13  14  0    88       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 THE TAIL 7253                17  34  0    85       RED DOG GANG (476)
 CORIOLANUS 8151              10   9  0    85       WILD OATS (618)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 HARSIESUS 6871               12   8  1    83       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      16  10  1    82       4000 BLOWS (107)
 MADONNA 7780                 14  11  1    77       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 ROSCOE 7883                   8   8  1    77       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 ERUPTION 7310                11   8  1    72       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-TIGER TY 7665                11   9  1    72       WING HOVE (529)
-DAYNE 7826                    8  12  0    72       WING HOVE (529)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAVA TUBE 7393               11   6  1    66       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 RICKY J 7968                  6   3  1    66       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 JOSEPHINE 3624                7   6  1    65       HEDONISTS (297)
-CRUMB BUM 8141                8   2  0    63       WILD OATS (618)
-ASGARD 6892                   4   4  0    63       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
-EVIL XXV 7900                 7   3  1    62       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-FLASH FIRE 7390              13  11  0    60       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 MACS 7797                    10  14  1    58       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOFFA 7713                   10  14  0    55       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-TAIL HOOK 8142                7   3  0    53       WILD OATS (618)
 STAIN 8098                    2   0  2    53       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627            9  21  1    50       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 911 7936                      6   4  0    48       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 ROCKY BANKS 7073             10   9  0    46       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-NICOLETTE 3610                6   6  0    44       HEDONISTS (297)
 AIMLESS 7967                  6   3  0    44       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 ROADRUNNER 7969               4   2  0    41       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 BULLY BOY 7447                9  13  0    40       RED DOG GANG (476)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               2   3  0    40       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-MILLICENT 3609                7   5  0    36       HEDONISTS (297)
 WHISTLE PIG 7806              6  18  0    36       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEW DROPS 7944                6   2  1    33       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 FISH STICKS 7952              5   3  1    33       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-HARRIET 7495                  5   4  0    33       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 DS3 8129                      1   0  1    33       LIVING SHADOWS (616)
-BUZZ BOMB 8140                5   5  0    26       WILD OATS (618)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BORRRING! 8139                3   2  0    24       WILD OATS (618)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THAT WARRIOR 8122             1   1  0    23       4000 BLOWS (107)
 YIPPI TI YI 8058              2   0  1    22       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-BRAE'TAC 6895                 5   4  0    21       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
-LORD BLACK MOON 8004          2   2  0    21       4000 BLOWS (107)
 GODLINGEROOSKI 8086           2   1  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-ENIGMA XXV 7871               1   2  0    19       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 LITTLE EDDY 7536              4   6  0    18       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 MAX SLACKS JACKS 8124         2   0  0    18       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 I OWN INDIMAR 8084            0   3  0    18       4000 BLOWS (107)
 YOBANGER 8059                 2   2  0    16       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-STRATEGERY 7939               1   0  0    15       VERBAL MISCUES (604)
-JAWBREAKER VII 7869           2   2  0    14       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-GRUNT VI 7980                 2   2  1    13       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 WEEPING WILLOW 8014           3   2  1    12       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-PINK 7809                     3   3  0    12       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 EXECUTIONER 8133              1   0  0    12       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
-BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        3   1  0    10       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-WEKA DART 7979                1   1  0    10       WING HOVE (529)
 ANNIHILATION 8134             1   0  0     9       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
-LAUVIAH 7710                  1   0  0     7       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 LASSIE 8083                   1   2  0     6       RED DOG GANG (476)
 KOREAN TP 8090                1   2  0     5       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 THE BOOGENS 8102              0   2  0     2       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 OBLIVION 8135                 0   1  0     1       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
 EUTHANASIA 8137               0   1  0     1       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
 JOY SCHTICK 8081              0   1  0     1       FUNKY FOLK (565)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
LEG WARMER LUST 7717  14  9 1 4000 BLOWS 107        SANDY BEACH 6957      410         
DEATHSTUDISSHORT 8136  0  1 0 ANGELS OF DEATH 617   GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    412 NONE    
TREE STUMP 8131        0  1 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557     ARNIE SHEW 21         412 NONE    
POCY-HANTAS 7897       7  5 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557     SANDY IN THE MOR 7925 411 JUST REV
HOPPI TOPPI 8060       1  1 1 CREEPSTERESE 606      GRUNT VI 7980         410 REVENGED
FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24  0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          JOSEPHINE 3624        412 NONE    
BORED ELF 19           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          STAIN 8098            412 NONE    
ARNIE SHEW 21          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          DS3 8129              412 NONE    
INDIBARNAPAULY 8153    0  1 0 DEATH STUDS VII 301   FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 412 NONE    
SANDMAN XIX 7867       0  2 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   HOPPI TOPPI 8060      409 REVENGED
IRREVOCABILITY 6549   12 10 1 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS 518  SPYMASTER 22          412 NONE    
COCO NUTS 8103         0  1 0 FRUIT OF THE LOOM 615 JORGE BLACK ORC 20    412 NONE    
RIP TORN 7850          6  3 0 FUNKY FOLK 565        ROSCOE 7883           409         
HALF-PINT 3612         7  6 0 HEDONISTS 297         JORGE BLACK ORC 20    412 NONE    
SPINDRIFT 3968         1  5 0 HEDONISTS 297         GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    412 NONE    
PUNCH-DRUNK 8112       7  5 1 LIVING SHADOWS 616    STONE GOLEM 26        412 NONE    
DS4 8130               0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    MONSTER MANALGER 18   412 NONE    
DS1 8127               0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 412 NONE    
DS2 8128               0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    JORGE BLACK ORC 20    412 NONE    
SANDY IN THE MOR 7925  3  4 1 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 DEW DROPS 7944        412         
DRIFTWOOD 8073         1  2 0 SWIFT CURRENT 468     SEA MONSTER 27        412 NONE    
A 8125                 0  1 0 VERBAL MISCUES 604    SEA MONSTER 27        412 NONE    
B 8126                 0  1 0 VERBAL MISCUES 604    BORED ELF 19          412 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Rip Rap -- We wwwaaannnttt YOU! -- Snow White, Jack The Ripper, & White Witch (The
Three Musketeers)

Nuln -- The Creepster appreciates your non action to his defiance of the decree that
Aradi is for FONZ only.  After all, what were you going to do--get another non
decision from the non leader or the non alliance? -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Yobanger and Hoppi Toppi -- Your words and actions are infringing on the trademarked
rights of The Creepster.  You must desist, or else.  (I do not belong to a non
alliance which makes non decisions and takes non actions.  Crazy Creeps are far too
intelligent for that.) -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe.

The 4000 Blow Scribe -- I must admit to being shortsided on my thoughts and comments
about Death Stud.  Thanks for reminding me of the error.  Short is sweet--and short.
-- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Pauly -- Thank you for the clarification of your personal dingleberry issue.  I shall
ask the staff to pray for your deliverance from the burden. -- The AW&WFAFP Editor

Sandy, the PO'd Beach -- We enjoyed your tirade.  But we do attend faces so we are
becoming somewhat immune to them. -- Certain Crazy Creeps (names withheld, because,
er ah, well, you know)

Spot, scholar amongst dogs -- So then I meant nothing to you? -- Snow White,
sniffling (not sniffing)

Spam Sandwich -- I cannot tell you the pleasure it gave me to beat you! -- White
Witch

Ricky J -- Nice challenge, youngster.  Bwahahahahahahah!  Perhaps you should invest
in a new, more experienced manager? -- The Riddler

Bunkhousers -- I wrote this poem/riddle just for you!
     Roses are red.
     Violets are boo hoo.
     Ricky J is nice.
     His manager is too.
          The Riddler

Dew drops -- You tasted so sweet.  Be beep! -- Roadrunner

Rip Rap -- If you did not write a DM column, we want you to know how despicable we
think you are.  Capiche? -- All Us Crazy Creeps

Rip Rap -- If you did write a DM column, it was probably a lousy one. -- All Us Crazy
creeps

I have to say that I am honored that I have been a topic of discussion here in Aradi
and I haven't even been active!  Even if it was a wager on how long it would be
before I even stayed active...  At least let me come back and get my good guys all
killed off before those wagers start flying.  Regardless I feel the love.  Let's Hug
it out!!!  Oh, except for you there Soultaker.  I am well aware what you Navy boys
are like....  Well, I look forward to seeing you all in the sands.  It's been a while
and I am a little rusty managerial skill wise.  Not that I've ever been that sharp
before either. -- Mad Max mgr. Angels of Death

Nuln -- That would be negative.  Sorry to spoil your hopes though.  Whoever has 3+
Months should be the winner though.  Well, maybe 2 months. -- Mad Max the bet ruiner

Jeez!  It's a little quiet in here.  I guess since the TOGS isn't going on everyone
has scattered like cockroaches.  Well, I don't need the TOGS to be a cockroach. --
Mad Max the Blattidae

Nuln -- No, I believe that you are mistaken.  Rule #2 is to never accept advice from
the Creepster.  Rule #1 is to never accept a COOKIE from the Creepster.  He makes
terrible cookies. -- Mad Max the cookie connoisseur

Soultaker -- Mute as ever I notice.  It's good to see that you still know your place
behind Death Stub. -- Mad Max aka Captain Obvious

Sandman -- Are you still around here Mudboy? -- Mad Max

Viper LXXI -- Congrats on the invite. -- Mad Max

I Own Indimar -- Yeah, that's right, I do own Indimar! -- Sandy Beach

Viper -- Well old Hiper Viper, looks like I slowed your little azz down, told ya I
could do it.  All I needed to do was pull out my secret weapon (oh and by the way,
thanks for knocking that LO out of my hand) just couldn't take that DA could ya?
Barnabas wants to know how your manager, The Stub of Death, can change his face so
many shades of red.  It twas a great dayeth, on the sandeth, how was that Nuln? --
Rip the badass Rap

Korean TP -- So you like to pick on the little guys, huh?  If I was you, I wouldn't
pick on anyone, you can't punch your way out of a paper bag let alone go out and
challenge someone son.  Maybe I was just the wrong little guy. -- Little Eddy

Whistle Pig -- That's right, whistle                        pig. -- Rocky Banks

Black Widow -- How embarassing it must be for you and your poor defeated manager,
Death Dud.  I believe it was Nuln who said he was one of the top ranked managers,
really?  Okay, Studly, don't be gettin' those panties in a bunch, just havin' a
little fun here.  Sure feels good when a plan comes together, even randoms. --
Driftwood

Death Stud -- Thanks for helping design me, even though I am the craps, the old widow
really should be embarassed. -- Driftwood

Nuln -- I am feeling poetic these daze and confused momemtos', however Viper in a
Diaper (although they were strong words) is exactly where Rip put the poor little
thing. No more little Hiper Viper, should be a good little thing now.  I did yell at
Rip and told her to drop her LO and just use her DA, didn't want to hurt the little
fella to much. -- Barnabas

Nulninski -- Serious woulda been okay but dead serious, bro what has happened to the
mild mannered Clark Kent of Aradi City, what, it's not my fault cell phones have
taken all the phone booths away, give a guy a break.  I wasn't on my game man, I'll
do better. -- Barnabas

Pauly -- Still that little kid I remember, some never change.  Hope my turn got there
on time, was a little concerned, I pulled an Indimar and may have waited a day to
long, or surprise, surprise. -- Barnabas

Lord Black Moon -- Sir!?  I'm a chick, dude! -- Aimless

Nuln -- No catch, but you may have just doomed all of Alastari.  Hmm, okay, I guess
there was a catch. -- Pauly

Viper -- Well, apparently I was wrong about us fighting.  I hope you won't hold it
against me. -- Oso

Hombre -- Ya know, I've been inching closer to the .500 mark and then you show up and
knock me further away.  I guess that means it's time to take off the kid gloves. --
Pauly

Barnabas -- At first I didn't think anything of the whole Pauly Purebred thing.  Then
my classic cartoon savy father informed me that *Polly* Purebred was a character from
the Underdog cartoon.  A female character....  Oh, it's on like donkey kong in a
thong fighting Tommy Chong. -- Pauly

That Warrior -- A clever pseudonym, but not quite clever enough.... Marlo Thomas! --
Pauly
P.S.  I watched a lot of Nick at Night as a kid.

The Riddler -- I thought I knew the answer.  Guess I was wrong. -- Ricky J
P.S.  How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?  I've
always wanted to know.

Yobanger -- Ah, you bad banger, I guess I deserved that.  Coming again? -- Grunt VI

Rip Rap -- Lucky boy, indeed.  See you on the Isle, if Barnabas doesn't retire you
before then. -- Viper

Lassie -- I wanted to end that quickly so we could go find Timmy. -- Jawbreaker

Driftwood -- Wrong strat for the wrong guy, so I'll have to give you that one.  Good
win. -- Black Widow

I Own Indimar -- Yes you do, but what the heck was up with that bloodfeud.  Man, Nuln
must really hate you a lot.  And you probably still only learned two skills. -- Death
Studs

Nuln -- RE: reasty/reisty.  Nuh-uh. -- Death Stud

Nuln -- No Snot-Ku from you? (hey, I made a rhyme!) -- Death Stud

White Witch -- Never let it be said that the Death Stud is not generous. -- Wrath

Last week was one of my favorite FONZ= weeks (don't know how Anonymous keeps coming
up with them).  FONZ = Fearless Old Nerds Zoning.  Very appropriate. -- Death Stud

Nuln -- I don't remember for sure.  What was your pick in the Max-Max-A-Thon? --
Death Stud

Oso -- Don't delude yourself, 50% boy. -- Viper

Pauly -- Oh now, hell of a ZING! on the I Own Indimar moniker last turn.  "IT WAS A
MASSIVE BLOW!" -- Death Stud

Roscoe -- I didn't chew up the newspaper on purpose, honest!  Just, you know, my
mouth was bored.  But then somebody handed me a lightning pigeon with all the stuff
about our fight, and I couldn't chew it because it made my hair stand on end.  This
is very strange.  But, anyway, I was going to be friendly, I mean, I'm a dog, a
POPULAR dog, so I thought, here is someone who wants to play, that will be fun!
(Playing is always fun.  That's in the rules.)  And then you hit me!  Well, I was
upset.  I hadn't done anything to YOU.  So I got mad.  Even good dogs get mad
sometimes, you know?  But I'm sorry I bit you. -- Stevie

Jawbreaker -- (indignantly)  You're a GOLEM, a THING!  How can I bite a... a tractor
or something?  It makes my teeth hurt. -- Lassie
P.S.  And you menaced me!  It's just a good thing you didn't menace my Boy, or I'd
have had to forget my manners and BITE you.

Wrath Licks -- I like licking things, although sometimes my people make comments
about it.  I don't know why, I guess they're just deprived.  But that was no reason
for you to try to brutally slay me.  Okay, you aren't really a person, so I guess you
don't understand about that stuff.  But couldn't you TRY?  I mean, you'd probably be
so much happier if you'd just relax and play with a frisbee or something.  Really!
I'll show you how. -- The Tail

The Virginal Gigolo smells funny.  I guess that's because he's really some kind of
lizard or something from a swamp?  I don't really like lizards, because they run up
the walls to get away, which is so unfair, and if you catch them, they taste funny
and their tails come off.  They just don't understand how to play. -- Flower

I thought the Visiting Orc might be fun, because visitors mostly LIKE to play when I
jump on them, they say "Good dog," and pat my head and everything.  But he just tried
to kick me, so I bit his ankle, and then he got really upset, so I bit him some more.
And then he cried and asked the arenamaster to stop the fight.  That was
disappointing, but I suppose I have to live with it. -- Bully Boy

Nuln & company -- Thank you.  It's a dirty job, but us dogs like dirty jobs. -- Spot
P.S.  It's a dog thing.

The Riddler -- I am popular, as any Good Dog would be, and don't have to do that kind
of thing. -- Flower

Lord Black Moon -- It's my duty to give you the sad look.  It's in the contract. --
Lassie
P.S.  All dogs are born knowing how, although some over-use it.

Who is this Punch-Drunk who DARES to best me in the Dark Arena?  I'll have his liver
for breakfast! -- Jorge Black Orc

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

IRREVOCABILITY was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
JOSEPHINE butchered FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
HALF-PINT was put to death by JORGE BLACK ORC in a popular 2 minute Dark Arena match.
PUNCH-DRUNK was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
STAIN slew BORED ELF in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Dark Arena match.
SPINDRIFT was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DRIFTWOOD was executed by SEA MONSTER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DS4 was barely slain by MONSTER MANALGER in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
INDIBARNAPAULY was viciously butchered by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 3 minute fight.
A was assassinated by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
DS3 easily killed ARNIE SHEW in a popular 1 minute brutal Dark Arena bout.
B was murdered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
DS1 was butchered by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
COCO NUTS was savagely slain by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena brawl.
DS2 was easily killed by JORGE BLACK ORC in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena conflict.
TREE STUMP was dispatched by ARNIE SHEW in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena bout.
DEATHSTUDISSHORT was slaughtered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fray.
DEW DROPS butchered SANDY IN THE MORNING in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud brawl.
THAT WARRIOR was overpowered by SANDY BEACH in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
SPAM SANDWICH was overpowered by COYOTE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
OSO savagely defeated STEVIE in a exciting 2 minute gory expert's Challenge fight.
VIPER LXXI was handily defeated by RIP RAP in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title duel.
ROSCOE was savagely defeated by WRATH LIX in a 2 minute gory Challenge match.
THE RIDDLER overpowered THE TAIL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
RICKY J overpowered ROCKY BANKS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
WEEZY DANG was defeated by YELLOW JACKET in a 2 minute uneven Challenge match.
911 was overpowered by ERUPTION in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
LITTLE EDDY was overpowered by FISH STICKS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
THE BOOGENS was overcome by GODLINGEROOSKI in a 1 minute novice's Challenge duel.
YOBANGER was overpowered by ROADRUNNER in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
I OWN INDIMAR was luckily beaten by WHISTLE PIG in a 1 minute Challenge match.
SLIPKNOT savagely defeated THE AVENGING SCROD in a 4 minute veteran's bout.
JACK THE RIPPER unbelievably bested MADONNA in a 4 minute veteran's duel.
FLOWER savagely defeated CORIOLANUS in a action packed 3 minute veteran's struggle.
JIM PANZI subdued HARSIESUS in a 2 minute master's match.
AIMLESS was subdued by HOFFA in a 3 minute duel.
MACS overpowered BULLY BOY in a 1 minute uneven bout.
KOREAN TP was beaten by ANNIHILATION in a 5 minute novice's competition.
YIPPI TI YI vanquished EUTHANASIA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
WEEPING WILLOW was subdued by EXECUTIONER in a 2 minute beginner's duel.
MAX SLACKS JACKS devastated JOY SCHTICK in a 1 minute mismatched match.
LASSIE unbelievably bested OBLIVION in a 2 minute novice's conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  16 -  3      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  8         STRIKING ATTACK   69 -  72 -  8      49  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       42 -  46 -  2      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         AIMED BLOW        27 -  35 -  0      44  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    51 -  69 -  4      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         WALL OF STEEL     23 -  33 -  1      41  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   24 -  39 -  3      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK     3 -  19 -  1      14  |

Turn 412 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  6         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  6         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  4     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  4         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                              BASHING ATTACK     1 -  5         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              AIMED BLOW         0 -  7     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   RIP RAP 6599               17  13  1  125 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
TOTAL PARRY      SLIPKNOT 6674              19  17  0  105 THIEVES GUILD (396)
PARRY-STRIKE     JIM PANZI 7382             15  13  0  104 FUNKY FOLK (565)
STRIKING ATTACK  WRATH LIX 7899              9   3  0   93 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
PARRY-LUNGE      CORIOLANUS 8151            10   9  0   85 WILD OATS (618)
AIMED BLOW       HARSIESUS 6871             12   8  1   83 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
WALL OF STEEL    THE AVENGING SCROD 7649    16  10  1   82 4000 BLOWS (107)
SLASHING ATTACK  ROCKY BANKS 7073           10   9  0   46 SWIFT CURRENT (468)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is FLOWER 7255.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
MADONNA 7780.  The ten other most popular fighters were KOREAN TP 8090, HALF-PINT 
3612, OSO 7682, SLIPKNOT 6674, FLOWER 7255, PUNCH-DRUNK 8112, WRATH LIX 7899, THE 
AVENGING SCROD 7649, SANDY BEACH 6957, and COYOTE 7626.

The least popular fighter this week was JOY SCHTICK 8081.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BULLY BOY 7447, YOBANGER 8059, LITTLE EDDY 7536, 911 7936, 
ROCKY BANKS 7073, THE TAIL 7253, THAT WARRIOR 8122, SANDY IN THE MORNING 7925, DS1 
8127, and B 8126.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

RIP RAP (60-6599) SWIFT CURRENT (468)
SANDY BEACH (60-6957) SWIFT CURRENT (468)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

VIPER LXXI (60-7566) DEATH STUDS VII (301)