DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/06/2007    Duedate: 04/19/2007

ARADI ARENA

DM-60    TURN-413

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

OSO
THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
(60-7682) [14-13-0,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SLIPKNOT                       STAIN
THIEVES GUILD (396)            FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
(60-6674) [20-17-0,122]        (60-8098) [3-0-3,63]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

COYOTE                         STEVIE
BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)      RED DOG GANG (476)
(60-7626) [19-12-2,100]        (60-7271) [19-27-0,93]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CREEPSTERESE (606)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)         34
2. FUNKY FOLK (565)            33      CRAZY CREEPS (207)
3. THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)  28      Unchartered Team
4. LIVING SHADOWS (616)        23
5. RED DOG GANG (476)          23      FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 9*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    3   2  3 60.0   1/ 3*CREEPSTERESE (606)        8  1 1
 2- 1 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   103  74  5 58.2   2/ 4 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        8  2 0
 3- 2 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    495 388 16 56.1   3/ 6 RED DOG GANG (476)        8  7 0
 4/ 3 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       562 459 18 55.0   4/ 1 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       7  7 0
 5/ 5 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  711 608 26 53.9   5/ 2 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       7  8 0
 6/ 4 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      132 116 11 53.2   6/ 7 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       6  6 1
 7/ 8 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    28  26  1 51.9   7/ 5 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  6  6 0
 8/ 6 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  69  5 50.7   8/15*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   3  1 3
 9/11 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  43  42  2 50.6   9/13 THIEVES GUILD (396)       3  1 0
10/ 7 WILD OATS (618)           53  52  1 50.5  10/21 FUNKY FOLK (565)          3  1 0
11/10 THIEVES GUILD (396)      174 174  6 50.0  11/ 8 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  3  3 0
12/15*CREEPSTERESE (606)        10  10  2 50.0  12/11 4000 BLOWS (107)          3  8 0
13/13 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)      131 133  8 49.6  13/14 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)    2  1 0
14-12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    64  66  1 49.2  14/16 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   2  3 1
15/14 4000 BLOWS (107)         669 737 31 47.6  15- 9 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     2  3 0
16-17 WING HOVE (529)           90 103  4 46.6  16-17*ANGELS OF DEATH (617)     2  3 0
17/16 HEDONISTS (297)           30  35  1 46.2  17/19 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      2 12 2
18/18 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       58  68  2 46.0  18-18 WING HOVE (529)           1  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  57  83  6 40.7  19/20 HEDONISTS (297)           1  3 1
20-20*DEATH STUDS XII (602)      8  12  1 40.0  20-10*DEATH STUDS XII (602)     1  4 0
21-21*ANGELS OF DEATH (617)      2   3  0 40.0  21/24 WILD OATS (618)           1  4 0
22/22 FUNKY FOLK (565)          50  76  4 39.7  22-12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    1  7 0
23/23 RED DOG GANG (476)       340 549  4 38.2  23-22*VERBAL MISCUES (604)      0  4 0
24-24*VERBAL MISCUES (604)       1  21  0  4.5  24-23 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "It's infamous!"  Ardane, spy reporter for Andorak, scowled and drew back his
arm to throw his goblet through the window at the crowd outside.  Then paused to
drain the contents before resuming the about-to-throw-it position.
     "Now, now, it isn't THAT bad."  Desiree of Darkholm, always the voice of sweet
reason at these meetings, laid a hand on his, smiled, and guided the goblet back to
the table.  "It's just a little mistake, you know."
     "Ha!"  Debby Tonte of Free Blades stabbed viciously into her drink with an
umbrella.  "That's easy for YOU to say.  The Delarquans aren't complaining."
     "Of course not."  Galen of Talahya looked faintly envious as she pulled a chunk
of pineapple out of her glass and began to nibble it.  "That's because the Delarquans
are THE Masters of Kung-Fu."
     "You think some managers are complaining," Olaf Modeen said, "you should hear
what the GLADIATORS are saying.  All these rumors about the Aimed Blows having
'special enhancements'..." he shook his head.  "I know it isn't true, you know it
isn't true, the top managers know it isn't true--"
     "Of course it isn't true!"  Ketchum, spy reporter for Crysalis, matched scowls
with Ardane and said, "If ANY one style was going to get a special enhancement, it
should be--"
     "Not now, Ketch," Olaf said.  "Nobody gets, nobody has gotten, nobody WILL get,
special enhancements.  That's always been the rule, and we all know how the Greywand
hates changes.  The real problem--"
     "Try telling that to some of the managers," Debby muttered, peering into her
glass for more fruit.  "They don't want to hear it.  Every time I turn around, some
manager is claiming that someone got a special change and, you know, HE didn't and
it's all unfair."
     "The REAL problem," Olaf said firmly, over-riding her voice, "is explaining to
all the second-rate Aimed Blows why they haven't received any of these 'special
enhancements' they keep hearing about."
     "There aren't any special enhancements," Ardane growled.  "None.  Just managers
who noticed that the Kung-Fu Master is a lot more dangerous than anyone expected, and
have put YEARS into the study of Kung-Fu and learned how to really USE it for their
own gladiators."
     "Saved a lot on weapons, too," Ketchum murmured.
     "But people keep complaining," Debby Tonte said.  She fished one last piece of
fruit out of her glass and stared at it dubiously.
     "There WERE no special enhancements," Olaf said.  "There ARE no special
enhancements.  There WILL BE no special enhancements.  It's all a matter of deep
study and skilled management."
     "Like anyone's going to believe that!"
     "They have no choice," Ketchum said.  "If no 'special enhancements' were given
out, then none can be taken back.  It is the way it is.  What's the point in
complaining because the sun rises in the east?"

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

My fellow warriors, it is with great sadness I must tell you all that I have been
asked to move on, to fight in the advanced level.  This honor I have accepted and
have most of my gear packed and ready to go.  There are a couple of warriors that I
have had great respect for.  Viper, you are a talented young man, don't take those
ass whoopins from a girl too serious, you'll do fine.  Another would be, uh, oh
Viper.  Good luck to all.

                           Rip Rap

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of ARADI!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, 
Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Former top team SWIFT CURRENT was unseated 
this week as CREEPSTERESE moved up from 3rd ranking to take the top spot with a 1-0-0 
record for the round.  The proverbial rising comet can only hope to compare with 
FUNKY FOLK's team record!  A 2-0-0 week and now a firm grasp on a 10th place ranking. 
My praise to CHEER-O-KEE'S for their 3-0-0 week this time out.  Indeed, it was a 
skillfully fought round deserving of notice!  MACS caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as it skillfully bested ROSCOE and was awarded 21 points in 
recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, MACS put down ROSCOE, causing 
him to lose 20 points of recognition in the process.  As is fitting, the most sought 
after warrior on the challenge boards this week was none other than Duelmaster RIP 
RAP herself.  Most watched of the fights this week, the spotlight was on OSO as he 
bore arms against the challenge of reigning Duelmaster RIP RAP.  This time victory 
fell to the grasp of the usurper.  All hail OSO, Duelmaster of ARADI!  Would you 
believe that over half of the old women in ARADI seem to feel that they could fight 
better than you gladiators?   
     But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades 
that is city ARADI.  ARADI, city of gladiators!  Mighty among the names of thy guilds 
is INQUISITION SG-1, a guild shunned and avoided by many in the weekly duels.  
Apparently the stalwarts of CRAZY CREEPS are catching the bulk of jests down at the 
challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  A match that raised a few 
eyebrows at the games this week, it seems that JACK THE RIPPER posted a challenge 
against the more highly recognized COYOTE.  The results, you ask?  Well, the 
firebrand JACK THE RIPPER defeated COYOTE.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline 
of steel.   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  This week marked the last days of JOSEPHINE who at 
7-6-1 was dispatched to the Dark Arena by the command of HEDONISTS' demanding 
management.  STAIN has sworn to take up religion upon living to tell of his recent 
bout with the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare thing indeed!  Rite of Bloodfeud must 
forever be reserved for teams with honor.  Witness ARADI!  FUNKY FOLK has failed to 
revenge the slaying of fallen RIP TORN.  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers the 
miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Ahh, but I can hear the spires of a far off 
city calling to me.  I must away!  Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier 
than the sword, but a maul is a different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OSO 7682                     14  13  0   116       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLIPKNOT 6674                20  17  0   122       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 JIM PANZI 7382               16  13  0   116       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7487         18  12  0   113       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 SNOW WHITE 7486              17  11  0   107       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 HARSIESUS 6871               13   8  1   103       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 COYOTE 7626                  19  12  2   100       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-ENOCH PEABODY 7325           12   9  0    98       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 FLOWER 7255                  22  30  0    96       RED DOG GANG (476)
 STEVIE 7271                  19  27  0    93       RED DOG GANG (476)
-WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 THE TAIL 7253                18  34  0    92       RED DOG GANG (476)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE WITCH 7542             17  10  0    91       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             10   7  2    91       CRAZY CREEPS (207)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      17  10  1    90       4000 BLOWS (107)
-SPAM SANDWICH 7524           13  14  0    88       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 MADONNA 7780                 15  11  1    84       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 CORIOLANUS 8151              10  10  0    80       WILD OATS (618)
 MACS 7797                    11  14  1    79       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-ERUPTION 7310                11   8  1    72       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-TIGER TY 7665                11   9  1    72       WING HOVE (529)
-DAYNE 7826                    8  12  0    72       WING HOVE (529)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LAVA TUBE 7393               11   6  1    66       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 CRUMB BUM 8141                8   3  0    63       WILD OATS (618)
-ASGARD 6892                   4   4  0    63       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
 STAIN 8098                    3   0  3    63       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 TAIL HOOK 8142                8   3  0    62       WILD OATS (618)
-EVIL XXV 7900                 7   3  1    62       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 RICKY J 7968                  6   4  1    62       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-FLASH FIRE 7390              13  11  0    60       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 ROSCOE 7883                   8   9  1    57       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BULLY BOY 7447               10  13  0    56       RED DOG GANG (476)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               3   3  0    56       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627            9  22  1    50       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 AIMLESS 7967                  7   3  0    49       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-911 7936                      6   4  0    48       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 DEW DROPS 7944                7   2  1    47       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 HOFFA 7713                   10  15  0    45       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 WHISTLE PIG 7806              7  18  0    44       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-NICOLETTE 3610                6   6  0    44       HEDONISTS (297)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 ROCKY BANKS 7073             10  10  0    40       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 FISH STICKS 7952              6   3  1    39       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 ROADRUNNER 7969               4   3  0    38       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-MILLICENT 3609                7   5  0    36       HEDONISTS (297)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HARRIET 7495                  5   4  0    33       THIEVES GUILD (396)
 BUZZ BOMB 8140                5   6  0    27       WILD OATS (618)
 WEEPING WILLOW 8014           4   2  1    26       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 GODLINGEROOSKI 8086           3   1  0    25       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-BORRRING! 8139                3   2  0    24       WILD OATS (618)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YIPPI TI YI 8058              2   0  1    22       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 JOY SCHTICK 8081              1   1  0    22       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-BRAE'TAC 6895                 5   4  0    21       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
-LORD BLACK MOON 8004          2   2  0    21       4000 BLOWS (107)
 LITTLE EDDY 7536              4   7  0    19       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-ENIGMA XXV 7871               1   2  0    19       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-MAX SLACKS JACKS 8124         2   0  0    18       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   2  0    16       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-STRATEGERY 7939               1   0  0    15       VERBAL MISCUES (604)
-JAWBREAKER VII 7869           2   2  0    14       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-GRUNT VI 7980                 2   2  1    13       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 I OWN INDIMAR 8084            0   4  0    13       4000 BLOWS (107)
-PINK 7809                     3   3  0    12       INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
-EXECUTIONER 8133              1   0  0    12       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        3   1  0    10       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-WEKA DART 7979                1   1  0    10       WING HOVE (529)
 LASSIE 8083                   2   2  0     9       RED DOG GANG (476)
-ANNIHILATION 8134             1   0  0     9       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
-LAUVIAH 7710                  1   0  0     7       THIEVES GUILD (396)
-KOREAN TP 8090                1   2  0     5       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 THAT WARRIOR 8122             1   2  0     5       4000 BLOWS (107)
-THE BOOGENS 8102              0   2  0     2       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-OBLIVION 8135                 0   1  0     1       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)
 MOSSY 8155                    0   1  0     1       4000 BLOWS (107)
-EUTHANASIA 8137               0   1  0     1       ANGELS OF DEATH (617)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
LEG WARMER LUST 7717  14  9 1 4000 BLOWS 107        SANDY BEACH 6957      410 NONE    
POCY-HANTAS 7897       7  5 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S 557     SANDY IN THE MOR 7925 411 REVENGED
HOPPI TOPPI 8060       1  1 1 CREEPSTERESE 606      GRUNT VI 7980         410 REVENGED
BORED ELF 19           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          STAIN 8098            413 NONE    
SANDMAN XIX 7867       0  2 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   HOPPI TOPPI 8060      409 REVENGED
KRAKEN 7679            9 16 2 DILEN'S HORDE 587     MADONNA 7780          409 NOT REVE
RIP TORN 7850          6  3 0 FUNKY FOLK 565        ROSCOE 7883           409 NOT REVE
JOSEPHINE 3624         7  7 1 HEDONISTS 297         SEA MONSTER 27        413 NONE    
DS3 8129               1  1 1 LIVING SHADOWS 616    FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 413 NONE    
DS 5 8159              0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 413 NONE    
DS 6 8160              0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    STONE GOLEM 26        413 NONE    
DS 7 8161              0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    BORED ELF 19          413 NONE    
MUDSLIDE 8165          0  1 0 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 STONE GOLEM 26        413 NONE    
SANDY IN THE MOR 7925  3  4 1 NATURAL DISASTERS 159 DEW DROPS 7944        412         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

death stud -- just a quick note to show that you do still exist in the minds of
others.  i am trying to use all lower case so you won't feel intimatated by any large
letters. -- soultaker  BWWAAAHAAAA   scared ya

Mad Max -- I know this is a wasted effort since you will find some reason not to
show.  Come on ask your big brother if you can come out and play with us.  It won't
be long and you will take over for Samwise the "Hangnail". -- Soultaker

Nuln -- Well hello, Dude.  How' it hanging?  May the cosmic force be strong with in
ya man.  Here's hoping ya be hangin two down the nappy and pushing the curl. --
Soultaker

LHI -- Did you forget you where still here?  You are going to ruin your rep by
playing in an arena. -- Soultaker

Creepster -- If you start now you might be able to talk Manager into taking you as a
partner again.  If he was to start working out now me might be able to carry you
better. -- Soultaker

How sad.  (smirk)  Sandy In The Morning was killed by Dew Drops.  Life will be
quieter and more gentle.  Thank you, Dew Drop. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Congratulations to Swift Current for graduating BOTH Rip Rap and Sandy Beach and
getting them out of this hell hole we call Aradi.  Cool. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe
P.S.  Well, we won't have to worry about them in Mailer Challengers, will we?

Deathstudisshort was slaughtered by Gargoyle Prince?  How discriminatory and
appropriate! -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Shucks, Madonna was EASY. -- Jack The Ripper

Yobanger, oh, Yobanger!  Thank you for the challenge.  I needed the easy win.  You
remind me of an easy coyote I know. -- Roadrunner (Bebeep)

Hey diddly Maddy baddy Maxeronious!  Backerooski!  Whoopy ti yiyiyi yobanger! -- The
Creepster

The Tail -- I have no riddle for you.  I am so astounded and excited that I ravished
Tail, that I feel almost out of words.  Almost. -- The Riddler

"Last week was one of my favorite FONZ= weeks (don't know how Anonymous keeps coming
up with them).  FONZ = Fearless Old Nerds Zoning.  Very appropriate. -- Death Stud".
Mr. Stud, your kindness exceeds your littleness--by a very small margin.  From the
bottom of our hearts, we big people thank you. -- The Crazy Creeps collection of
creative cretins

Ricky J -- I am not into woodchucks.  Mature or semi-mature female humans more
appropriately befit me. -- The Riddler

Mad Max;  Mad Max.  (scratching her head)  Who is this person or thing?  How could it
be talked about even before it was in the arena?  Must be a FONZ thing?  More
collusion? -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe (unusually puzzled)

Rip Rap -- We DO give you credit for writing a DM Column.  A little credit.  This is
Aradi, you know, so expecting a lot of credit is like Death Stud wishing he were
almost medium-sized. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Does anyone know where Soultaker is?  Didn't he used to compete (term used loosely)
in Aradi?  The last time we spoke to him, he said something about getting tired of
carrying The Stud.  Thoughts? -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

FONZ = Fickle Oldies Needing Zip
     The Crazy Creeps collection of creative cretins

Flower -- I swung once?  Interesting. -- Coriolanus

Viper -- My hat is off to you sir, there is someone in this arena with true grit.
Well, we went at it 3 times, the last two I came out on top, to bad you tripped and
fell, might have been a little better fight!  Your career is probably moving on to
ADM, I believe Barnabas is going to set me out to pasture and give me the easy life
with the ladies.  Good luck to you Viper, all the talk was hipe to get a better turn-
out, hope things go well. -- Rip Rap

Oso -- So you talked all this smack about a shot at the title and then you go and
challenge Stevie, oh yeah, you're a tough guy.  I double challenged you and did not
avoid you thinking you wanted a shot, just another bag of wind!!! -- Rip

Nuln -- You have skill raped me as far as Barnabas can stand it, wouldn't be so bad
but I only learned one skill from your lot of dummies.  Better luck next time around.
-- Sandy

Death Stud -- Was a little surprised to see you send Viper after Rip, congrats on an
aggressive move, but thanks for throwing the fight, Rip would have been crushed if
Viper beat her. -- Barnabas

Creepster -- Kinda get the feeling you don't like my ads, don't worry about it, none
of them are aimed at you.  Don't recall ever saying anything negative to you, do
remember killing one of your warriors a few years back, you can't still be pissed
over that.  Whatever, dude. -- Barnabas

the Crazy Creeps Scribe -- Please re-address your concerns to Yobanger and Hoppi
Toppi in formal Creepsterese.  We are incapable of translating them from English. --
lawyer for Yobanger & Hoppi Toppi

the Crazy Creeps Scribe -- No problem, I just didn't want you to sell yourself...
short.  <insert canned laughter>  We scribes must stick together, you know. -- the
4000 Blows Scribe

Mad Max -- I think the whole thing was fixed with you and Death Stud from the
beginning anyways (though I'm sure Manager helped to collude).  I'll stick with
betting on the scrod races. -- Nuln

Mad Max -- Cookies too, eh?  Good to know.  Note to self:... -- Nuln

Sandy Beach -- Join the club, bub. -- I Own Indimar

E.E. Barnabas -- I beat Viper down with a back-up icetoner once.  The smaller it is,
the deadlier the b-u I think.  Congratulations on the throne. -- Edgar Allen Nuln
P.S.  Have you ever tried Snot-ku?  It can be a very liberating form of poetry.

Death Stud -- Green Mucuous Ah-Choo
                 I'm So Sorry My Good Friend
                      Here is Some Kleenex -- Nuln

Barnabyss -- Clark Khent is dead.  The Dark Knyght lives. -- Nuln

Aimless -- Sorry, when I saw you hanging out with White Witch I just assumed... --
Lord Black Moon

Pauly -- Damn, you uncovered my secret plan to doom all of Alastari.  Guess I'll have
to go to plan H now.  Don't worry, it should set me back about 60 years or so.  Hmm.
-- Nuln

Death Stunned -- Now now, smart little remarks like that may get your teammates extra
turns tacked to their blood feuds.  Tsk tsk. :) -- I Own Indimar

I can't believe my namesake isn't running, how else am I supposed to win?  How
depressing. -- I Own Indimar

Death Stud -- Would you believe me if I told you it originally came from the
Icelandic root: Rjeisty? -- Nuln

Spot -- Perhaps that's why we get along; I like to stay clean, so we don't bump
noggins. -- Nuln

Sandy Beach -- Let that teach you a lesson, you rancid brigandesse! -- That Warrior

Slipknot -- Forget the utter shellacking you gave me, I OWN YOU!!!  Who smashed
through your parry with a MEDIUM SHIELD!!!  Oh ho ho yeah. -- the Avenging Scrod

Grunt VI -- Nugga-nugatinski, diddly donerooski! -- Yobanger

Roadrunner -- Honka donka beep-beep-a-rooskiddidlyskirooskididdle.  Ski. -- Yobanger
P.S.  Hubba bubba!
P.P.S.  Skiddly be-biddles bee?

The Boogens -- Boogarooski yappa dappa Snotarino-bobarelli. -- Godlingerooski

Rocky Banks -- You should change your name to Rocky Head after the thumping I just
gave you. -- Ricky J

Barnabas -- I told ya I was coming for ya. -- Pauly

     Yes, but you said you'd be there at six, and you were half an hour late.

Wrath -- Um, didn't you get the memo?  Strikers are supposed to lose to wall of
steels.  You made me look like an idiot out there!  Try not to let it happen again.
-- Roscoe

Stevie -- That's for Roscoe. -- Oso

Nuln -- Can I borrow the LOoD (tm)?  I have a feeling it could come in handy. --
Pauly

Oso -- Darn it, I know a bear when I see one, and I am NOT a bear dog.  I met a bear
dog once, he was big and shaggy and not at ALL like me.  (prances a little)  I'm much
prettier. -- Stevie

The Riddler -- You want to play in the water?  Okay!  I like that.  Lots of splashing
and jumping around and getting wet. -- The Tail
P.S.  Just so long as it isn't a *b*a*t*h*.  That would be Bad.

Coriolanus -- (wagging happily)  That was fun.  Want to do it again? -- Flower

Macs -- It would be better with cheese, you know.  And not that sauce, euwh,
something a GOAT would eat.  Tomatoes in it, I bet you.  But a nice bic mac with
cheese... great stuff! -- Bully Boy, drooling at the thought

Oblivion -- You tried to stop me from coming home, didn't you?  I could TELL.  But
coming home is what I do.  It's my big deal. -- Lassie

Snow White -- Did I say that?  (wrinkling brow in effort at thought)  Surely not?  I
mean, if you scratch my ears and feed me choice bites, how can I not want you? --
Spot

Jawbreaker -- Oh.  Okay.  That's a good plan.  (jumps up and barks)  Let's do it! --
Lassie

Our congratulations and a big bone to Rip Rap and Sandy Beach. -- Spot and the Red
Dog Gang

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

JOSEPHINE was barely slain by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
STAIN dispatched BORED ELF in a action packed 4 minute Dark Arena battle.
DS3 was murdered by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MUDSLIDE was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DS 5 was butchered by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DS 6 was slain by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena match.
DS 7 was butchered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
RIP RAP was vanquished by OSO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
WHITE WITCH was overpowered by SLIPKNOT in a 4 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
JACK THE RIPPER won victory over COYOTE in a 5 minute expert's Challenge duel.
CORIOLANUS was viciously subdued by THE TAIL in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
WEEZY DANG savagely defeated HOFFA in a popular 6 minute gory Challenge melee.
ROADRUNNER was subdued by AIMLESS in a 1 minute Challenge match.
GODLINGEROOSKI bested LITTLE EDDY in a 4 minute Challenge conflict.
I OWN INDIMAR was overpowered by FISH STICKS in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
SNOW WHITE luckily beat STEVIE in a crowd pleasing 8 minute gruesome veteran's duel.
JIM PANZI overcame SANDY BEACH in a 3 minute master's bout.
FLOWER was devastated by HARSIESUS in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ROSCOE was overpowered by MACS in a exciting 1 minute one-sided match.
MADONNA savagely defeated CRUMB BUM in a crowd pleasing 3 minute bloody fight.
THE AVENGING SCROD devastated RICKY J in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BULLY BOY vanquished YELLOW JACKET in a 1 minute one-sided match.
ROCKY BANKS was handily defeated by TAIL HOOK in a 1 minute uneven duel.
WHISTLE PIG devastated BUZZ BOMB in a popular 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
DEW DROPS vanquished AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided match.
WEEPING WILLOW vanquished CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LASSIE savagely defeated MOSSY in a 4 minute gruesome novice's melee.
JOY SCHTICK handily defeated THAT WARRIOR in a 1 minute uneven bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-STRIKE      18 -  16 -  3      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         TOTAL PARRY       39 -  39 -  3      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         AIMED BLOW        29 -  31 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         STRIKING ATTACK   62 -  69 -  8      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         LUNGING ATTACK    47 -  63 -  4      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   26 -  35 -  3      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         WALL OF STEEL     22 -  32 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  15 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK     3 -  21 -  1      13  |

Turn 413 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         4 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         3  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  6         2  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   OSO 7682                   14  13  0  116 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
TOTAL PARRY      SLIPKNOT 6674              20  17  0  122 THIEVES GUILD (396)
PARRY-STRIKE     JIM PANZI 7382             16  13  0  116 FUNKY FOLK (565)
AIMED BLOW       HARSIESUS 6871             13   8  1  103 INQUISITION SG-1 (540)
WALL OF STEEL    THE AVENGING SCROD 7649    17  10  1   90 4000 BLOWS (107)
STRIKING ATTACK  TAIL HOOK 8142              8   3  0   62 WILD OATS (618)
SLASHING ATTACK  DEW DROPS 7944              7   2  1   47 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is COYOTE 7626.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
STEVIE 7271.  The ten other most popular fighters were WEEZY DANG 7909, COYOTE 7626, 
MADONNA 7780, SLIPKNOT 6674, LITTLE EDDY 7536, DS 6 8160, THE TAIL 7253, SNOW WHITE 
7486, MACS 7797, and WHISTLE PIG 7806.

The least popular fighter this week was THAT WARRIOR 8122.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ROCKY BANKS 7073, YELLOW JACKET 7627, FLOWER 7255, I OWN 
INDIMAR 8084, ROADRUNNER 7969, HOFFA 7713, CORIOLANUS 8151, DS 7 8161, DS 5 8159, and 
MUDSLIDE 8165.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

SLIPKNOT (60-6674) THIEVES GUILD (396)
HARSIESUS (60-6871) INQUISITION SG-1 (540)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

RIP RAP (60-6599) SWIFT CURRENT (468)
SANDY BEACH (60-6957) SWIFT CURRENT (468)

               NEW TEAMS IN THE TEMPORARY TOURNAMENT ARENAS (DM 81/83)

Please note that all new teams created at the Face-to-Face were temporarily placed 
in a temporary Tournament Arena, DM 81 or DM 83.  If you requested that your team be 
placed in a specific arena, it has already transferred to that arena.  Any teams not 
transferred out of DM 81 and DM 83 by May 1 will be deleted.  If you have questions 
about any of your teams, please contact Customer Service. -- RSI