DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/13/2007    Duedate: 07/26/2007

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-420

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CORIOLANUS
WILD OATS (618)
(60-8151) [16-11-0,142]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CORIOLANUS                     ALLAN JOHNSON
WILD OATS (618)                TPW FOREVER (619)
(60-8151) [16-11-0,142]        (60-8232) [6-1-0,57]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

COYOTE                         JIM PANZI
BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)      FUNKY FOLK (565)
(60-7626) [21-17-2,84]         (60-7382) [18-13-0,131]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

WING HOVE (529)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE BUNKHOUSE (595)         62
2. VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)     53      DEATH STUDS VII (301)
3. WING HOVE (529)             38      Unchartered Team
4. ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)     19
5. TPW FOREVER (619)           19      DEATH STUDS XII (602)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   104  76  5 57.8   1/ 2 WING HOVE (529)           8  1 0
 2/ 3 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    496 397 16 55.5   2/ 7*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   7  7 1
 3/ 4 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       571 469 18 54.9   3/10 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       7  8 0
 4/ 6 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      136 128 11 51.5   4/ 6 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    6  8 0
 5/ 7 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  51  48  4 51.5   5/ 9 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  5  1 1
 6/ 9 WILD OATS (618)           68  65  1 51.1   6/ 1*DEATH STUDS XII (602)     5  4 0
 7/ 8 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)       148 143  7 50.9   7/ 3 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  5  6 0
 8-10 SILENT WARRIORS (561)     75  73  3 50.7   8/ 8 WILD OATS (618)           4  4 0
 9-11 THE BIZZLE (593)          45  44  5 50.6   9/ 5 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        4  5 0
10/ 2*DEATH STUDS XII (602)     19  19  3 50.0  10- 4 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    4  6 1
11/12*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)    7   7  1 50.0  11/14 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       4 10 0
12-13 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    73  77  2 48.7  12/11 FUNKY FOLK (565)          3  1 1
13/17 WING HOVE (529)          102 110  5 48.1  13/16 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)        3  1 0
14-15 WHY MEETH? (607)          22  24  1 47.8  14/21*TPW FOREVER (619)         3  4 0
15/16 4000 BLOWS (107)         681 746 31 47.7  15-15 SILENT WARRIORS (561)     2  0 0
16-18 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  80  5 47.0  16/13 4000 BLOWS (107)          2  4 0
17/19 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       73  83  2 46.8  17-17*CREEPSTERESE (606)        2  5 0
18/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  34  42  1 44.7  18/18 RED DOG GANG (476)        2 13 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-22*CREEPSTERESE (606)        12  15  2 44.4  19-19 THE BIZZLE (593)          1  2 1
20/21 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    51  65  3 44.0  20-20 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    1  2 0
21/23 FUNKY FOLK (565)          56  78  5 41.8  21/ 0*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   1  3 0
22/24 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  66 101  6 39.5  22-22 WHY MEETH? (607)          1  3 0
23/26*TPW FOREVER (619)          8  13  1 38.1  23/23 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     1  5 0
24/25 RED DOG GANG (476)       349 575  5 37.8  24/ 0*ELFEN LIED (623)          0  4 0
25/ 0*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)    3   7  0 30.0  25-24 VERBAL MISCUES (604)      0  3 0
26-27 VERBAL MISCUES (604)       1  26  0  3.7  26/27*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)   0  3 0
27/ 0*ELFEN LIED (623)           0   4  0  0.0  27/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  0  2 0
28/28*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)    0   3  0  0.0  28-26 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Spam Sandwich, Stevie (congrats), and Ricky J. have fallen.  The Avenging Scrod is my
greatest challenger, a lion I shall be proud to hunt!

                              Coriolanus

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
COLLUSION COVE brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, DEATH STUDS XII, 
since WING HOVE took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  If this 
keeps up, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, you'll have to shine swords instead of use them.  A drop 
of 6 in the rankings?  THE BUNKHOUSE turned their 3-2-0 turn into a 3rd place rank in 
the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Gee, 
I'm impressed, a 3-0-0 is nice, but don't get cocky, WING HOVE, the Fates teach 
humility, and the Fates are proud.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see 
TIGER TY win a fight and gain 23 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, MYSTIQUE beat RAZOR XXV 
and RAZOR XXV lost 20 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And if variety is the spice 
of life, COLLUSION COVE may be getting bland, as CORIOLANUS stays top dog in the 
city.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you this?  You want to 
know what's new, don't you, COLLUSION COVE?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  DEATH STUDS XII, I suppose you'll be glad to know you 
were this turn's most avoided team.  Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And 
it looks like THE UPSTARTS III avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would 
be losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  Ooh, I'm frightfully impressed, WEKA DART was this 
turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch that ego swell, sports fans.  I guess I can 
give a little credit to AIMLESS of THE BUNKHOUSE for challenging up by 25 to WHITE 
WITCH.  AIMLESS won to get 90 points of recognition.  And we have RETRIBUTION XXIX in 
a challenge, going down 10 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought RETRIBUTION 
XXIX showed great skill and promise when he was bested by HOFFA.  All right, so I 
slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for COLLUSION 
COVE's morgue.  More variety.  Gee, SUPERIOR FORCES 1601, ain't it past due for 
sending ZEROSE Dark Arena?  What took ol' '8-5-0' so long?  Hope?  Ha ha aha ha!  Ya 
gotta go sometime, and EVIL XXV's time was this time.  Hmmm, not a bad fighter, had 
it lived... (what?  me pity?).  I can't say as I'm proud to find out that THINGS ILL 
NEVER GET's MADONNA has killed EVIL XXV from DEATH STUDS VII.  I can say I wish DEATH 
STUDS VII good luck in their bloodfeud.  We're all going to die in the end, so why 
worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before 
I leave the fine city of COLLUSION COVE.  I feel much better now.  Paste this one in 
your scrapbooks, you'll need the kindling come this winter-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CORIOLANUS 8151              16  11  0   142       WILD OATS (618)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIM PANZI 7382               18  13  0   131       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-PIZNAUL JIZNOKE 7641         13   4  1   128       THE BIZZLE (593)
 MADONNA 7780                 19  14  2   120       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-SPAM SANDWICH 7524           16  15  0   107       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 TIGER TY 7665                15  10  1   107       WING HOVE (529)
-SILENT SPOCKER 7700          13   3  0   107       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
-TAIL HOOK 8142               11   5  0   100       WILD OATS (618)
 RICKY J 7968                 11   5  1    99       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-MOUSE 7318                   12  17  0    97       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             11   8  2    93       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 MACS 7797                    15  17  2    91       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AIMLESS 7967                 11   5  0    90       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-VAS DEFERENS 7534            14   8  0    88       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-HYDRO ON THE D-LO 7642       14   7  2    87       THE BIZZLE (593)
-SUNSHINE 7593                 9   7  0    86       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 COYOTE 7626                  21  17  2    84       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-BLOODLUST MUTE 7701           8   9  0    82       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 WHITE WITCH 7542             19  14  0    81       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-CRUMB BUM 8141                9   6  0    78       WILD OATS (618)
 ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412      10  15  0    76       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-SMALL INTESTINE 7535         10  13  1    73       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 BULLY BOY 7447               15  15  0    71       RED DOG GANG (476)
-911 7936                      8   6  0    67       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOFFA 7713                   13  19  0    66       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           11  27  1    61       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               6   6  0    60       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-AQUA NETTA 7775               8   6  2    59       THE BIZZLE (593)
-PESMERGA 7813                 5   6  0    59       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
 ALLAN JOHNSON 8232            6   1  0    57       TPW FOREVER (619)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         7   1  0    56       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 ROCKY BANKS 7073             11  12  0    54       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-F'SHIZZLE M'NIZZLE 7639       9   9  0    54       THE BIZZLE (593)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413             9  14  0    53       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          4   0  1    52       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 WEKA DART 7979                5   2  1    39       WING HOVE (529)
-BUZZ BOMB 8140                7  10  0    37       WILD OATS (618)
-URETHRA 7851                  4   2  0    36       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 LITTLE EDDY 7536              6   8  0    35       SWIFT CURRENT (468)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 I OWN INDIMAR 8084            3   5  0    33       4000 BLOWS (107)
-GODLINGEROOSKI 8086           4   2  0    32       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 MYSTIQUE 7932                 2   0  0    32       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 PEG BORED 8069                4   0  1    31       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        5   1  0    28       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 WONDER BOY HAMMER 8079        2   1  0    26       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ROADRUNNER 7969               4   5  0    25       CRAZY CREEPS (207)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SPEEDY GONZALEZ 7993          2   2  1    23       WHY MEETH? (607)
-PROXIMO 7991                  1   3  0    23       WHY MEETH? (607)
-PIN DROP 7924                 4   0  0    22       SILENT WARRIORS (561)
 CLARK KENT 8196               3   0  0    21       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 SPLASH 8174                   1   2  0    21       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-GENOH 7847                    4   4  0    20       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               3   0  0    20       4000 BLOWS (107)
 SETH DRAVEN 8231              2   1  1    20       TPW FOREVER (619)
 GRUNT VI 7980                 4   4  2    19       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-HAPPY G'MO' 7992              1   3  0    19       WHY MEETH? (607)
 ZIGGERZAG 7153                5   2  0    18       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 PANAMON 8087                  4   1  0    16       WING HOVE (529)
-FROSTSHOCK 8015               2   0  0    15       WHY MEETH? (607)
-STRATEGERY 7939               1   0  0    15       VERBAL MISCUES (604)
 HANS GRUBER 7931              0   1  0    15       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882       3   4  0    13       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 FALOPIAN 8260                 1   0  0    13       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080         3   0  1    12       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-SALACIOUS 8166                1   1  0    12       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 NULN'S PET SOCK 7465          3   2  0    11       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 RAZOR XXV 8154                3   1  0    11       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 DEATH STUD 8211               2   1  1     8       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-ACRIMONIOUS 7996              0   1  0     7       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 PETE 8182                     0   6  0     6       RED DOG GANG (476)
 ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076        1   2  0     5       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 KELLY FABULOUS 8221           1   2  0     5       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078        1   2  0     5       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 LASSIE 8194                   0   5  0     5       RED DOG GANG (476)
 FLUMMAX 8193                  0   5  0     5       RED DOG GANG (476)
-STITCHES 8245                 0   1  0     1       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-ATLAS 8229                    0   1  0     1       TPW FOREVER (619)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BLACK BITE HAMME 8077  0  2 0 ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ 614 PEG BORED 8069        419         
WHISTLE PIG 7806       9 22 0 BUGS, SLUGS & THU 591 BURNT OFFERINGS 8054  419         
DEAD GUY 8274          0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     JORGE BLACK ORC 20    420 NONE    
ROSCOE 7883            9 11 1 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     MACS 7797             416 NOT REVE
OTHER GUY 8237         0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080 419         
JAMIE 8273             0  1 0 DEATH STUDS VII 301   ARNIE SHEW 21         420 NONE    
EVIL XXV 7900          8  4 1 DEATH STUDS VII 301   MADONNA 7780          420         
ENIGMA XXV 7871        3  4 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    420 NONE    
NACHO LIBRE 8280       0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        ARNIE SHEW 21         420 NONE    
RUBBER CHICKEN 8277    0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        JORGE BLACK ORC 20    420 NONE    
MY FRIEND'S DOG 8278   0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        JORGE BLACK ORC 20    420 NONE    
GOT A MATCH? 8279      0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        MONSTER MANALGER 18   420 NONE    
GAM ROCKER 8267        0  1 0 GENX PERFECT HITS 620 STONE GOLEM 26        420 NONE    
SMOKESCREEN 8178       0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    WEKA DART 7979        416 NOT REVE
ZEROSE 7741            8  6 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 1 586 SEA MONSTER 27        420 NONE    
BYAKUREN 7879          2  4 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 1 586 GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    420 NONE    
SNAG 8275              0  1 0 SWIFT CURRENT 468     FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 420 NONE    
JABRONI 8252           0  1 0 TPW FOREVER 619       SEA MONSTER 27        420 NONE    
ROT GUT 7154           4  4 0 THE UPSTARTS III 510  ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 420 NONE    
APOCALYPSE 7933        1  2 0 VILLAINOUS LEGION 605 GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    420 NONE    
BUZZER 8258            0  1 0 VILLAINOUS LEGION 605 BORED ELF 19          420 NONE    
DAYNE 7826             8 13 0 WING HOVE 529         STEVIE 7271           416 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Death Studs XII at 5-0!  What was little about that one! -- The Awed Crazy Creeps
Scribe

Godlingerooski -- I hate you!  You made me say beep beep until I cried.  You are
worse than a coyote! -- Roadrunner

Friendly Constable -- I am sorry that I overpowered you.  I thought you were Lex in
disguise. -- Clark Kent

The Avenging Scrod -- That was cheap!  Cheap, I say!  That was MY challenge. -- White
Witch

FONZ = Freaking Ornery Nameless Zeroes. -- anonymous

Ganolus -- Good to have you back!  I heard rumor that you may be actually sticking
around?!?  Rockin', brother, good to have you back. -- Death Stud

Anti -- Wow, and a welcome back to you, too.  What is it, like FONZ reunion day or
something?  Miracles never cease.  Next I know, Inferno, Nerissa, Magic Man, and
Farmer boB will be showing up, Snotman will care again, Sandman will actually write a
personal ad, and Soultaker would become nice again.  And the birds will be singing in
the sunshine and all will be right with the world. -- Death Stud

Ed. -- Alas I am sorry to report that the TOGS VI exploratory committee has already
been formed.  Steel yourself. -- Death Stud

     Maybe I'll let Ed. Jr. deal with it.... -- Ed.

Barnabas -- Best of luck with the DA's, I hope they are stellar. -- Death Stud

Death Stud -- Wow, brave challenge there cowboy.  Maybe next you could scope out a
daycare center or two, score yourself some lollipops. :P -- Anti

Speedy Gonzales -- Whu?  Who fought who now?  What?  I'm sorry, do we know each
other? -- Mr Oblivious

911 -- Nyah. -- Androgenous Strain

Barnabas -- I'm sorry, did you say something to me?  I meant to listen but then I
started thinking about the old SilverHawks cartoon...why did the put the laser
blasters on their shoulders?  Wouldn't that make it hard to aim?  And why didn't the
non metal body parts freeze while in outer space?  Oh...yeah that's right we were
talking about what you said.  Hmmm a guitar that shoots musical shock waves would be
pretty cool though...oh darn I did it again.  I'm sure what you said was nice or
something, so thanks.:) -- Anti

Ganolus -- Good to see you back in full action.  My plan is to get one of my teams
TOGS ready as well, hopefully the DA'ing goes better than it has been for Barney. --
Anti

Weezy -- Had to go and have your manager shoot off his big mouth, thought I'd close
it for him for a few moments anyway.  If I was you I'd change my tactic however,
you're gonna die running what you're running, trust me. -- Rocky

Buzz -- Yeah, that's what I had to do to beat you, buzz left, buzz right, then drop
the bomb! -- Little Eddy

Black Burn -- We'll have to try it again sometime when I'm running more your speed.
-- Splash

Fonzies -- Be nice to see a few ads here, time to get out of the rocking chairs and
get with it! -- Barnabas

Ganolus -- Nothing's new here; nutsacks still rock the club scene, Barnabas still
talks a keg of smack, DS is still short, I still write meaningless personals, the
Creepster still doesn't know what FONZ stands for, Snotman's still sticky, and Ed.
still fears the "T" word.  Welcome back, Carter. -- Nuln
P.S.  You should change that team name to something more Druidish.  Say, "Why
Acornseth?" or something. (I'll let you keep the one "eth.")

Anti -- Did I ever say welcome back?  Well welcome back.  If I already welcomed you
back, then I take that previous welcome back back.  In any event, I'm honored that
the King of Talahya chose to grace us mere mortals with his presence here. -- Nuln

Soultaker -- <pokes with a stick>  Doggonit, pay attention to your Aradi Nanny now,
son. -- Nuln

Death Stud -- And what's your excuse? -- Nuln

Ed. -- Here's several case loads of tissue.  I'm sure you'll need it. -- Nuln

     Maybe I'd better exchange the tissue for something more useful.  I'll bet I
     could corner the market for powdered sea stars, make my fortune, then retire
     before the madness starts again. -- Ed.

Barnabas -- I surely would have taken the throne from our Little Pauly Purebred if
that cowardly, freakishly annoying trans-sexual White Witch hadn't challenged me and
gotten his 5 o'clock shadow trimmed down to a 1 and 1/2 clock shadow by my mighty
battle axe.  Oh yes, I would have brought the thunder DOWN on that saucy-faced pup
Pauly and his pretender to the throne, Micky K, or whatever his name is.  Oh, it
would have been sweet, had it happened. -- the Avenging Scrod

Barnabyss -- Hang in there with those DAs.  What won't kill you will only...oh, wait.
-- Nuln

Cadmus -- Welcome to Aradi, sir, and congrats on the throne.  The scrod is
deliciously rubbery this time of year. -- Nuln

Indimar -- 'S'matta?  Scrodbucks got your tongue? -- Nuln

Creepster -- I hope your mini-brain is able to catch the many-layered meanings and
sub-meanings of all these personals I'm writing.  After all, I wrote them just for
you. -- Nuln

Hammer -- Welcome to our fair city as well.  How are things in Elsewhere?  I was in
Elsewhen last week for a show, and it was the bomb.  I hope you'll stick around. --
Nuln
P.S.  Which team do you run?  Just kidding! :)

Anti -- You take direct orders from Death Stud? <pointing and snickering> -- Nuln

White Witch -- You're harsh words are like honeyed music to my ears.  Keep the
challenges flowing, my freaky deke.  Your humbling master.... -- the Avenging Scrod

Roadrunner -- Meep meep a skiddly peep di beep, ya creep! -- Godlingerooski

Spot -- It's like Snoopy said, "Any food on the floor is legally mine." -- Coriolanus

Spam Sandwich -- I love those.  With cheese. -- Stevie
P.S.  But no tomatoes.  I could eat tomatoes if I had to, dogs can do it all, but I
would rather have cheese.

Bloodlust Mute -- It's okay if you can't bark.  I can bark enough for both of us. --
Bully Boy

Weka Dart -- (whimper)  I'll be a good dog now!  I will! -- Pete

Grunt Vi -- But what did I DO?  I thought you wanted to play tug-of-war.  We had a
great tussle, and then you started hitting me.  I don't understand this, but I
forgive you.  Dumb, I know, but I'm a dog.  It's what we do. -- Flummax

Frostshock -- (disappointed look)  It was not nice of you to give me that metal
frisbee when it was cold it stuck to my tongue. -- Lassie

A hearty welcome to TPW Forever and GenX Perfect Hits and a welcome back with a
raspberry to Silent Warriors, The Bizzle, and Why Meeth.  Good to have you boys back.
-- Death Stud

Anti -- And a special welcome back to you, too.  Sorry about the losses last turn
(just for the record, you were supposed to win the olive branch bout with Enigma).
Didn't want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you with that challenge. -
- Death Stud

CREEPSTER -- Crummy, Retarded, Eclectic, Epileptic, Petty, Staring, Tortured,
Elephantitis, Rube.

Ed. -- You should have until late winter before the TOGS floggings begin again in
earnest.  Get your sleep now, Ernest. -- Death Stud

    Sleep?  Whazzat? -- Ed. the seriously and long-term sleep-deprived

Nuln -- Interesting DA choice there with Yippi Ti Yi.  Apparently 3-0-1 is too good
for your standards? -- Death Stud

Barnabas -- Good luck with the DA, I know you've been having a rough time of it.
Stop being so PICKY! -- Death Studs

Rot Gut -- Um, you parry, I take damage, you win, I lose.  Didn't you read the script
before the fight started?  I need to talk to my manager RIGHT NOW.  I can't be
expected to keep working with rank amateurs like this.  I'll be in my TRAILER! --
Enigma

Kelly Fabulous -- Oh, trying to be tricky, eh?  Luckily 'twas for not. -- Death Stud,
the warrior

F'Shizzle -- Was that victory f'rizzle?  I wasn't expecting to win that one,
f'shizzle m'nizzle. -- Evil

Rot Gut -- Um, you were supposed to win that one, old chap. -- Enigma

9 July 2007
I have not been receiving my physical turns in a reliable manner lately.  If there
are diplos with the turns that go missing, they're gone for good.  So if you send me
a diplo and do not see an acknowledgement of receipt in the personals, know that I
have not gotten it (yet).  If you have email, contact me at Livia AT reality DOT com.
If you don't have email, keep trying with the diplos.  We are working on this
problem. -- the Scribe/Jorja/Leeta
P.S.  If you email me, put "Re DM" on the subject line.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ZEROSE was butchered by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ENIGMA XXV was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena duel.
ROT GUT was easily killed by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
APOCALYPSE was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
BYAKUREN was savagely slain by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
NACHO LIBRE was butchered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
JAMIE was assassinated by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
DEAD GUY was executed by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
JABRONI was easily killed by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SNAG was put to death by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
GAM ROCKER was slaughtered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
RUBBER CHICKEN was slaughtered by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BUZZER was viciously butchered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
MY FRIEND'S DOG was executed by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
GOT A MATCH? was assassinated by MONSTER MANALGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
BLACK BURN HAMMER was devastated by PEG BORED in a 2 minute Bloodfeud conflict.
ANDROGENOUS STRAIN was demolished by RICKY J in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
RETRIBUTION XXIX was savagely defeated by HOFFA in a 5 minute Challenge conflict.
AIMLESS vanquished WHITE WITCH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
WEEZY DANG vanquished YELLOW JACKET in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fray.
GRUNT VI was devastated by WEKA DART in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
KELLY FABULOUS was defeated by CLARK KENT in a 4 minute novice's Challenge bout.
CORIOLANUS overpowered MACS in a 1 minute one-sided Title match.
MADONNA easily killed EVIL XXV in a popular 1 minute gory mismatched competition.
JACK THE RIPPER was vanquished by TIGER TY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
JIM PANZI viciously subdued STEVIE in a popular 3 minute brutal master's fray.
COYOTE overpowered ROCKY BANKS in a 1 minute uneven fight.
MR OBLIVIOUS was overpowered by BULLY BOY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
LITTLE EDDY was overpowered by ALLAN JOHNSON in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
RAZOR XXV was vanquished by MYSTIQUE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SUPERIOR VENA CAVA was handily defeated by I OWN INDIMAR in a 1 minute uneven bout.
PETE was beaten by ZIGGERZAG in a action packed 1 minute brutal competition.
PANAMON savagely defeated LASSIE in a 4 minute gruesome beginner's fight.
WONDERFUL HAMMER defeated HANS GRUBER in a exciting 2 minute match.
SETH DRAVEN overpowered FLUMMAX in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
WONDER BOY HAMMER overpowered NULN'S PET SOCK in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ANT MARTHA HAMMER was demolished by FALOPIAN in a 1 minute uneven contest.
DEATH STUD was overpowered by SPLASH in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 17         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -   9 -  0      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         WALL OF STEEL     26 -  24 -  1      52  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         STRIKING ATTACK   54 -  65 -  5      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         LUNGING ATTACK    39 -  49 -  3      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         AIMED BLOW        20 -  26 -  0      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  37 -  4      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  20 -  1      39  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         TOTAL PARRY       31 -  48 -  3      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  18 -  1      31  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    10 -  30 -  2      25  |

Turn 420 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      4 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    6 - 11         4  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  4         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              TOTAL PARRY        1 -  8         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      CORIOLANUS 8151            16  11  0  142 WILD OATS (618)
PARRY-STRIKE     JIM PANZI 7382             18  13  0  131 FUNKY FOLK (565)
LUNGING ATTACK   MADONNA 7780               19  14  2  120 THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
WALL OF STEEL    TIGER TY 7665              15  10  1  107 WING HOVE (529)
STRIKING ATTACK  RICKY J 7968               11   5  1   99 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
TOTAL PARRY      JACK THE RIPPER 7487       20  14  0   96 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
AIMED BLOW       AIMLESS 7967               11   5  0   90 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is COYOTE 7626.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
JIM PANZI 7382.  The ten other most popular fighters were CLARK KENT 8196, HANS 
GRUBER 7931, TIGER TY 7665, ZIGGERZAG 7153, PANAMON 8087, BYAKUREN 7879, RICKY J 
7968, RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259, WEEZY DANG 7909, and MADONNA 7780.

The least popular fighter this week was BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DEATH STUD 8211, ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076, NULN'S PET SOCK 7465, 
FLUMMAX 8193, PETE 8182, SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882, RAZOR XXV 8154, LITTLE EDDY 7536, 
MR OBLIVIOUS 6413, and ROCKY BANKS 7073.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

CORIOLANUS (60-8151) WILD OATS (618)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

STEVIE (60-7271) RED DOG GANG (476)

                           SUMMER FACE-TO-FACE IN ATLANTA!

Our next summer FTF will be held in Atlanta, Georgia, July 27-29, 2007.  It will be 
held at the Sheraton Buckhead Hotel in Atlanta, on 3405 Lenox Road NE (404-261-9250). 
Room rates are $95.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  There is a free shuttle from the 
MARTA station two blocks away and free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block.  Look for transportation info in the tournament information 
sheet.  We hope you're all looking forward to it and that we will see you there!