DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/10/2007    Duedate: 08/23/2007

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-422

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

RICKY J
THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
(60-7968) [13-5-1,112]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

RICKY J                        ALLAN JOHNSON
THE BUNKHOUSE (595)            TPW FOREVER (619)
(60-7968) [13-5-1,112]         (60-8232) [7-2-0,67]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MADONNA                        SPLIT-SEAM IRENE
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     MORAL SQUALOR (621)
(60-7780) [20-15-2,103]        (60-8256) [0-1-0,1]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)      57
2. VISIONIST INC (259)         52      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)     52      Unchartered Team
4. THE UPSTARTS III (510)      34
5. CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)      31      FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    8   4  5 66.7   1/ 1 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)      10  5 0
 2/ 2 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   107  78  5 57.8   2/ 3 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    7  6 0
 3- 3 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    497 399 16 55.5   3/ 5*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   6  6 0
 4/ 4 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       572 472 18 54.8   4/ 9*TPW FOREVER (619)         5  4 1
 5/ 0 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 216 196 13 52.4   5/10 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  5  4 0
 6- 6 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     21  20  3 51.2   6/ 8 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       5  9 1
 7- 7 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)       150 143  7 51.2   7/19 RED DOG GANG (476)        5  9 0
 8- 8 WILD OATS (618)           68  65  1 51.1   8- 6 FUNKY FOLK (565)          4  0 0
 9/ 5 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      140 134 12 51.1   9/ 7 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    4  3 0
10/11 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  52  51  4 50.5  10/12*BAD RESTAURANT (622)      4  6 1
11/21*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   11  11  1 50.0  11/ 0*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   3  1 1
12/12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    77  80  2 49.0  12-11 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)        3  1 0
13/13 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       80  86  2 48.2  13/20 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    3  2 0
14/15 4000 BLOWS (107)         682 747 31 47.7  14/23*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   3  3 0
15/17 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  82  5 46.4  15/ 4 WING HOVE (529)           3  8 0
16/16 WING HOVE (529)          102 118  5 46.4  16/13 4000 BLOWS (107)          2  1 0
17/18 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    57  67  3 46.0  17/14 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  2  4 1
18-19 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  34  42  1 44.7  18/18 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        2  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 CREEPSTERESE (606)        13  17  3 43.3  19- 2 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     2  5 0
20-22 FUNKY FOLK (565)          58  78  5 42.6  20-16 WILD OATS (618)           1  0 0
21/26*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)    5   7  0 41.7  21/22 CREEPSTERESE (606)        1  2 1
22/25*TPW FOREVER (619)         11  16  2 40.7  22/ 0 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  1  2 0
23/ 1*BAD RESTAURANT (622)       4   6  1 40.0  23/ 0*VISIONIST INC (259)       1  4 1
24/23 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  69 104  6 39.9  24/ 0*GNEMISH (624)             1  4 0
25/24 RED DOG GANG (476)       353 580  5 37.8  25-17 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     1  5 0
26/ 0*VISIONIST INC (259)        1   4  1 20.0  26/25*ELFEN LIED (623)          0  9 0
27/ 0*GNEMISH (624)              1   4  0 20.0  27/ 0*MORAL SQUALOR (621)       0  3 0
28/28*ELFEN LIED (623)           0   9  0  0.0  28/28 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      0  2 0
29-29*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)    0   3  0  0.0  29-27 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  0  2 0
30/ 0*MORAL SQUALOR (621)        0   3  0  0.0  30-26*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)   0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Rising in the ranks like a loaf of armored 
bread (okay, I admit it's corny) is RED DOG GANG, who swept up 12 places in the 
ranks.  Suffering under a 0-5-0 record and dropping from 4th to 15th place were the 
WING HOVE.  Keep trying!  It looks like the guys(?) at ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ had a good 
week as they went 3-1-0 to put them in 3rd place.  I guess steroids help!  Hey 
everybody, watch out for ODALISQUE, who flew up 21 points in the rankings after 
mashing ROACH like a melon.  Keep your eye on this gal.  And falling like a basher in 
the top ten was MACS, who dropped 12 points after a disappointing (to say the least) 
bout with BURNT OFFERINGS.  Well, if ya don't shows up at the laundromat, ya can'ts 
wash yer clothes.  JIM PANZI did not fight this week so his title was forfeit.  It's 
a proud day for the THE BUNKHOUSE stable, as their warrior, RICKY J, ascended the 
Duelmaster's throne.  Advice to bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger 
halberd!   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the 
big, bad ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ?  Big bad ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ.  Big bad ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ.  
COLLUSION COVE's afraid of the big bad ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ.  Tra la la la la!  For 
those of you who like math, try this one:  ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ + Weapons That go Boom = 
SWIFT CURRENT + Avoid City.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, LITTLE 
EDDY would be president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  GOUHL defied all odds and slew ARNIE SHEW 
in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as ARNIE SHEW's meat 
is notoriously tough.  Congrats to THE RIDDLER for revenging the death of his 
teammate (but more importantly, feeding LITTLE EDDY a bit of dirt).  Ask not the 
elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, there's the manager of the COLLUSION COVE giving me the 'cut' sign (or is 
that 'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some 
tracks.  Its been real, and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun...-- The 
Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RICKY J 7968                 13   5  1   112       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
 MADONNA 7780                 20  15  2   103       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-TAIL HOOK 8142               11   5  0   100       WILD OATS (618)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 THE RIDDLER 7852             12   8  2    95       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-TYVEK 7478                    8   7  0    93       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGER TY 7665                15  12  1    91       WING HOVE (529)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AIMLESS 7967                 12   6  0    89       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-VAS DEFERENS 7534            14   8  0    88       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-SUNSHINE 7593                 9   7  0    86       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-WHITE WITCH 7542             19  15  0    82       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          6   0  1    81       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412      11  15  0    80       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-911 7936                      9   6  0    79       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-CRUMB BUM 8141                9   6  0    78       WILD OATS (618)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               7   7  0    77       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-SMALL INTESTINE 7535         10  13  1    73       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 MACS 7797                    15  19  2    71       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413            11  14  0    70       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 ALLAN JOHNSON 8232            7   2  0    67       TPW FOREVER (619)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BULLY BOY 7447               16  16  0    66       RED DOG GANG (476)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           12  28  1    65       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 HOFFA 7713                   13  21  0    60       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-PESMERGA 7813                 5   6  0    59       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         8   1  0    58       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROCKY BANKS 7073             11  14  0    47       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 MYSTIQUE 7932                 3   0  0    45       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 LITTLE EDDY 7536              7   9  1    44       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 ZIGGERZAG 7153                7   2  0    40       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-BUZZ BOMB 8140                7  10  0    37       WILD OATS (618)
 TOWEL BOY 8265                2   0  1    37       TPW FOREVER (619)
-URETHRA 7851                  4   2  0    36       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-PEG BORED 8069                5   0  1    34       FUNKY FOLK (565)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-I OWN INDIMAR 8084            3   5  0    33       4000 BLOWS (107)
 GOUHL 2885                    1   0  1    33       VISIONIST INC (259)
 GAZREK 7858                   5   4  0    32       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-GRUNT VI 7980                 5   4  2    30       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 KELLY FABULOUS 8221           3   2  0    29       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        5   1  0    28       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               4   0  0    27       4000 BLOWS (107)
 WEKA DART 7979                5   4  1    24       WING HOVE (529)
 LASSIE 8194                   2   5  0    24       RED DOG GANG (476)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PEACH FUZZ 8095               2   0  1    22       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-FALOPIAN 8260                 2   0  0    22       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080         5   0  1    21       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 ODALISQUE 8121                1   0  0    21       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882       4   4  0    20       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-GENOH 7847                    4   4  0    20       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-SETH DRAVEN 8231              2   1  1    20       TPW FOREVER (619)
 HANS GRUBER 7931              1   1  0    20       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-NULN'S PET SOCK 7465          4   2  0    19       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-DEATH STUD 8211               3   1  1    18       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 PLUM 8094                     1   0  1    18       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 CREDENCE 8320                 1   0  0    18       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 SALACIOUS 8166                1   2  0    17       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TWIG 8096                     0   1  0    17       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 PANAMON 8087                  4   3  0    15       WING HOVE (529)
 FLUMMAX 8193                  1   6  0    15       RED DOG GANG (476)
 PUSILLANIMOUS 8192            1   0  0    15       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076        2   3  0    14       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078        2   3  0    14       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 WREAK 8272                    1   1  1    12       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-RAZOR XXV 8154                3   1  0    11       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 DA BREE 8276                  1   1  0    11       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 ERETHISM 8251                 1   0  0    11       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-CLARK KENT 8196               3   1  0    10       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 WONDER BOY HAMMER 8079        2   3  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 THINGA MABOB 8308             1   0  0    10       GNEMISH (624)
-COCO NUTS 8163                1   0  0    10       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 SHRIVELLED PRUNE 8177         1   0  0     9       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 PETE 8182                     0   8  0     8       RED DOG GANG (476)
 STUMPY 8286                   2   0  0     7       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 SPLASH 8174                   1   4  0     7       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 VENGRAZ 8018                  1   0  0     7       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 SKI DOOSKI 8284               1   0  1     6       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 ROACH 8270                    1   1  0     4       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 TUDE 8271                     1   1  0     4       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 BOOGER 8269                   1   1  0     4       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 STITCHES 8245                 0   3  0     3       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 TROTS 8268                    0   2  0     2       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 SPLIT-SEAM IRENE 8256         0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
 COL 8298                      0   1  0     1       WING HOVE (529)
 THE ERR MUTT 8322             0   1  0     1       RED DOG GANG (476)
 COG 8309                      0   1  0     1       GNEMISH (624)
 PILE-DRIVER DAN 8257          0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
 PAR 8297                      0   1  0     1       WING HOVE (529)
 THINGA MAJIG 8312             0   1  0     1       GNEMISH (624)
-ATLAS 8229                    0   1  0     1       TPW FOREVER (619)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
NON-RESTY 8282         0  1 0 4000 BLOWS 107        FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 422 NONE    
BLACK BITE HAMME 8077  0  2 0 ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ 614 PEG BORED 8069        419         
WHISTLE PIG 7806       9 22 0 BUGS, SLUGS & THU 591 BURNT OFFERINGS 8054  419         
OTHER GUY 8237         0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080 419         
ROAD TRIP 8289         0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 422 NONE    
ROADRUNNER 7969        4  6 0 CRAZY CREEPS 207      LITTLE EDDY 7536      421 JUST REV
GODLINGEROOSKI 8086    4  3 0 CREEPSTERESE 606      MONSTER MANALGER 18   422 NONE    
POOSKI 8285            0  1 0 CREEPSTERESE 606      ARNIE SHEW 21         422 NONE    
ARNIE SHEW 21          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          GOUHL 2885            422 NONE    
EVIL XXV 7900          8  4 1 DEATH STUDS VII 301   MADONNA 7780          420         
TYVIN 8072             0  1 0 DEMONS OF DARKNES 430 PLUM 8094             422         
JED 8314               0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        ARNIE SHEW 21         422 NONE    
NED 8313               0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        BORED ELF 19          422 NONE    
AESTEMIOUS 8321        0  1 0 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS 518  BORED ELF 19          422 NONE    
DOOHICKY 8310          0  1 0 GNEMISH 624           WREAK 8272            422         
WINGNUT 8311           0  1 0 GNEMISH 624           SKI DOOSKI 8284       422         
DS 18 8317             0  1 0 LIVING SHADOWS 616    GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    422 NONE    
BIG BELLE 8253         0  1 0 MORAL SQUALOR 621     BORED ELF 19          422 NONE    
SPOT MONKEY 8318       0  1 0 TPW FOREVER 619       GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    422 NONE    
INDIMAR'S MAILMA 8319  0  1 0 THE UPSTARTS III 510  ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 422 NONE    
VIZ #1 2883            0  1 0 VISIONIST INC 259     GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    422 NONE    
THUGAN 7873            0  1 0 VISIONIST INC 259     MONSTER MANALGER 18   422 NONE    
VIZ #2 2884            0  1 0 VISIONIST INC 259     SPYMASTER 22          422 NONE    
VIZ #3 8316            0  1 0 VISIONIST INC 259     GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    422 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Uncle!  Ok, OK, Bunkhouse; we give. -- The Crazy Creeps

FONZ = meanies. -- The Crazy Creeps

Kelly F -- Perhaps I would have been better without my foot stuck in my mouth? --
Clark Kent

Weezy Dang -- What a dang wheezy match-up.  Curse the MUGS! -- White Witch

Little Eddy -- At least it wasn't Wiley Coyote!  I was an 11-3-11-17-9-18-15 hosed
damage, bonused init and rip striker.  I was. -- Roadrunner (no beep)

Yellow Jacket -- I'd sure like to know what's under that jacket, guess I can't beat
ya, good fight. -- Rocky

Grunt VI -- Watch your back you sneaky little devil, I'll be back! -- Splash

Roadrunner -- That was weak, dying in the infirmary, making me out to be a killer,
what a bum! -- Little Eddy

Trots -- One of those read the first and last minute. -- Stumpy

Roach -- I hate roaches! -- Da Bree

Anti -- Where's that new guy? -- Barnabas

Indimar -- Glad to see you could at least lift your hand to a piece of paper to
scribe out one personal, way to go, fine job. -- Barnabas

Pauly -- Time to get the old man started on geritol. -- Barnabas

Barnabas -- My mind is not twisted, I just sorta left it in the rain too long and it
dried into a weird shape.  You know how that goes.  :P  -- Anti

Aimless -- Have you ever watched the clouds and asked yourself:  "Why are my socks
filled with peach marmalade?"  Good question my man, good question. -- Allan Johnson

Elfen Lied -- Man, I hope you guys aren't planning on recreating any scenes from
namesake.  Ick. -- Anti

Crazy Creeps Scribe -- I had a wise acre response all ready for you but then Death
Stud ordered me back to the clubhouse for his weekly knuckle waxing.  I've made
crying myself to sleep my new hobby. -- Anti

Arnie Shew -- Hoo ha!  Who's the wet one now?!~  Oh wait that's still me...but you're
DEAD!  Ha! -- Towel Boy

Pauly and Indimar -- Hey you can talk!  I like stating the obvious!  With exclamation
points!  Because the voices say it's the only way to get my puppy back!  Not really!
Even I'M finding this kinda obnoxious now!  I'll try to stop!  Really!  Kinda! --
Anti! 

Anti -- Ya know, I've been looking all over for those damn hamsters, and now I learn
that you stole them, most likely had your way with them, and having grown bored with
them, sent them to their deaths in the dark arena.  They deserved better, damn it.
They deserved better! -- Pauly
P.S.  And for all you people with your minds in the gutter, I just want to get one
thing straight.  I treated those hamsters with nothing but respect from day one.
Good day.

Clark Kent -- See, I told ya so. -- Kelly Fabulous
P.S.  I'm fabulous.

All -- Ah yes, in about 7 hours I'll be on a plane to Cabo San Lucas.  Of course, by
the time this posts I'll be back, so I'll go ahead and say I had a good time. --
Pauly

Nuln -- If I see a Chaos Sombrero (tm pending on whether or not they exist), I'll
pick one up for you. -- Pauly

     If they don't exist, they ought to! -- Ed.

911 -- (jumping and barking, howling, burrowing under the couch with his paws over
his ears)  Ow!  It's loud!  It hurts!  Make it stop! -- Bully Boy

Falopian -- I've heard of you.  You're one of those whatcha-ma-callems.  A Roaming,
or something.  Probably a road.  Hmm.  Roads aren't bad.  There are chariots to
chase, after all.  And chickens are always crossing them.  Chickens are fun to chase,
too.  They make a lot of noise, which is amusing.  And then their people get upset
and run around and THEY make a lot of noise, too.  That's good fun, until they get
TOO upset, then it's time to run and hide.  It isn't easy being a dog, you know,
there are lots of nuances to figure out. -- Pete

Arenamaster Harkon -- Since when is the Friendly Constable now the Animal Control
Officer?  Of course I bit him.  What did you or anybody else EXPECT me to do? --
Lassie
P.S.  He put his hand on my neck, so I bit it.  And then he got this net and a rope,
and I went for his throat.  A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do, you know.  No
more Ms. Nice Dog for me!

Death Stud -- Ha!  You're revealed as you really are!  I always KNEW you had a
towering personality.  Dogs can tell. -- Flummax
P.S.  But a win would have been nice.  I could take a win just fine.  Really.

Barnabas -- Twisted minds are good, within reason.  As they untwist, they make the
propellers spin. -- Spot, pointing out a fact perhaps too obvious to have snagged
your attention

Splash -- Something about my morning constitutional makes me think of you <splash>.
-- Death Stud, the warrior

Paulsonettes?  A name well-earned.  C'mon girly men, Barney is calling you out.  Time
for a beat down, Paulson style. -- Stud

Barnabas -- A real manager could win with that 5 st, size 18 TP.  Stellar. -- the
Studly one

Crazy Creeps Scribe -- No these mopes don't take direct orders from me, but they most
definitely should. -- Death Stud

Anti -- I don't even know what to say after witnessing that horrifying Hillary Duff
banana dancing.. -- Death Stud

Aradi quote of the week goes to Ed. for her note to Anti: "You know, I'm glad I don't
have your life. -- Ed."

TOGS IS COMING!

Nuln -- Ah, I have exactly the opposite skill.  One of my specialties is taking
decent warriors and running them to crappy records.  I like your skill better. --
Death Stud

Wow, I "unbelievably bested Ruthless Jaywalker"?  Not impressive.  I shall flagellate
myself as punishment. And no, Nuln, that's not what you think it is.  No, it's not
what you're thinking either, Anti.  You either, Indimar...and YUCK! -- Retribution

27 July 2007
                        *************************************
                        *************************************
                        **  STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE II   **
                        *************************************
                        *************************************

Years have passed since the last Slaughterhouse, but the season is right for a return
to STORMCROWE!  Join us in DM-45 for the STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE II.

WHEN

*The actions begins TURN-263 (due approximately November 27, 2007)

WHERE

*STORMCROWE (DM 45)

HOW LONG

*13 Turns (Turns 263-275)

TEAMS

*Teams will consist of two (2) managers.  No more, no less.  Only one team allowed
per manager.  Violators will be disqualified from the competition.  Old teams and new
teams are welcome to join the competition.  Once the contest has begun (TURN 263)
managers MAY NOT exchange teams or partners.

SCORING

In the tradition of the Slaughterhouse, scoring will be simple and straight-forward.
Victory and achievements will be rewarded while defeats will be mocked and ridiculed.

+3 Win
+2 Kill (in addition to +3 Win for a total of +5)
+5 Team on the Move (Top Gainer(s) Only)
+3 Turn's Most Popular
+3 Turn's Least Popular
+5 Current Top Team (begins 3rd turn of contest)

SPECIAL SCORING CONSIDERATIONS

*Fights against teammates garner NO POINTS.

*Fights against Judith's team (Northern Lights), Arena Stand Bys and the Dark Arena
garner NO POINTS (this includes DA kills).

*Tourney participation is allowed (even encouraged), but NO POINTS will be given for
success in those endeavors.

*NO POINTS will be awarded for DM, Popularity Leader, Chartered Recognition Leader,
Top Chartered Team, Stylemasters, Top Unchartered Team, and Unchartered Recognition
Leader.  Every effort has been made to insure scoring neither benefits established
teams nor new teams.

ENTRY

Entry into the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse is easy:

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

PRIZES

*ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

*KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a
Limited Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she
will be resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

*TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time,
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.

TIE-BREAKERS

In the unlikely event of a tie, pre-contest established tie-breakers will be
consulted to determine a winner.  The tie-breaking criteria are known to the
Moderator and RSI.  They will not be made public knowledge to avoid any exploitation.

MODERATOR

Master Darque will be serving as Master of Ceremonies for the Slaughterhouse II.  As
such, all his decisions are final.  Any rules inquiries should be directed to him.

CONTACT INFORMATION

Master Darque can be reached by Diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428) or you may email
him at the following address:  rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com.  Be sure to put
STORMCROWE in the Subject line of your Email so it can be easily spotted if sent to
his Spam folder.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GODLINGEROOSKI was butchered by MONSTER MANALGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GOUHL viciously butchered ARNIE SHEW in a exciting 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
VIZ #1 was murdered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
DS 18 was viciously butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 3 minute Dark Arena contest.
ROAD TRIP was assassinated by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
POOSKI was butchered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
JED was slaughtered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BIG BELLE was butchered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
AESTEMIOUS was butchered by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
INDIMAR'S MAILMAN was assassinated by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute melee.
NON-RESTY was slaughtered by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
SPOT MONKEY was assassinated by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
THUGAN was assassinated by MONSTER MANALGER in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
VIZ #2 was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena bout.
NED was assassinated by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
VIZ #3 was murdered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
THE RIDDLER devastated LITTLE EDDY in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud battle.
TIGER TY slimly lost to RICKY J in a 2 minute master's Challenge Title bout.
ROCKY BANKS was vanquished by MR OBLIVIOUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
SALACIOUS lost to ANT MARTHA HAMMER in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fray.
STITCHES was devastated by FLUMMAX in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
COYOTE overpowered WEEZY DANG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
AIMLESS was beaten by MADONNA in a popular 1 minute veteran's bout.
ANDROGENOUS STRAIN viciously subdued HOFFA in a popular 3 minute master's competition.
MACS lost to BURNT OFFERINGS in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
YELLOW JACKET lost to ALLAN JOHNSON in a 2 minute mismatched fray.
BULLY BOY overpowered GAZREK in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
TOWEL BOY vanquished PETE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
WEKA DART was overpowered by MYSTIQUE in a 3 minute one-sided bout.
ZIGGERZAG vanquished PANAMON in a 1 minute uneven bout.
PEACH FUZZ handily defeated TROTS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
HANS GRUBER beat WONDER BOY HAMMER in a action packed 1 minute competition.
LASSIE overpowered DWAYNE THE DOG in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
KELLY FABULOUS vanquished BOOGER in a tiresome 8 minute brutal one-sided fray.
WONDERFUL HAMMER overpowered COL in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
BLACK BURN HAMMER overpowered PILE-DRIVER DAN in a 3 minute uneven bout.
STUMPY luckily beat SPLIT-SEAM IRENE in a popular 7 minute bloody beginner's contest.
ROACH was demolished by ODALISQUE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
TUDE was overpowered by CREDENCE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
WREAK murdered DOOHICKY in a 1 minute brutal mismatched match.
DA BREE vanquished THINGA MAJIG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SPLASH lost to ERETHISM in a exciting 1 minute amateur's bout.
VENGRAZ overcame COG in a 2 minute novice's duel.
PLUM slew TYVIN in a 2 minute gruesome battle.
SHRIVELLED PRUNE won victory over THE ERR MUTT in a 2 minute novice's struggle.
TWIG was unbelievably bested by PUSILLANIMOUS in a unpopular 13 minute gory duel.
WINGNUT was dealt death by SKI DOOSKI in a 2 minute amateur's match.
THINGA MABOB handily defeated PAR in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 22         AIMED BLOW        23 -  21 -  1      52  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         PARRY-LUNGE       12 -  11 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         WALL OF STEEL     26 -  25 -  2      51  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         LUNGING ATTACK    40 -  49 -  3      45  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         STRIKING ATTACK   56 -  73 -  3      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         TOTAL PARRY       32 -  46 -  1      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   23 -  35 -  2      40  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE      13 -  22 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  31 -  3      30  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  19 -  2      21  |

Turn 422 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         5  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    8 - 14         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  5     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      3 -  6         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  RICKY J 7968               13   5  1  112 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
LUNGING ATTACK   MADONNA 7780               20  15  2  103 THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
WALL OF STEEL    TIGER TY 7665              15  12  1   91 WING HOVE (529)
AIMED BLOW       AIMLESS 7967               12   6  0   89 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MADONNA 7780.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SPLIT-SEAM IRENE 8256.  The ten other most popular fighters were GOUHL 2885, 
ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412, RICKY J 7968, WEKA DART 7979, TYVIN 8072, SHRIVELLED PRUNE 
8177, MADONNA 7780, ALLAN JOHNSON 8232, TOWEL BOY 8265, and COL 8298.

The least popular fighter this week was BOOGER 8269.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PUSILLANIMOUS 8192, KELLY FABULOUS 8221, TWIG 8096, PAR 8297, THINGA 
MAJIG 8312, DOOHICKY 8310, TUDE 8271, ROACH 8270, STUMPY 8286, and BLACK BURN HAMMER 
8078.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

JIM PANZI (60-7382) FUNKY FOLK (565)
SPAM SANDWICH (60-7524) CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
COYOTE (60-7626) BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)