DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/24/2007    Duedate: 09/06/2007

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-423

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

RICKY J
THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
(60-7968) [14-5-1,123]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

RICKY J                        TWIG
THE BUNKHOUSE (595)            FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
(60-7968) [14-5-1,123]         (60-8096) [1-1-1,27]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MADONNA                        COL
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     WING HOVE (529)
(60-7780) [21-15-2,105]        (60-8298) [0-2-0,2]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)        61
2. FUNKY FOLK (565)            54      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. THE UPSTARTS III (510)      44      Unchartered Team
4. TPW FOREVER (619)           41
5. DEATH STUDS XII (602)       34      HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)       4   0  1  100   1/ 1 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)      11  4 0
 2/ 1*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    9   5  6 64.3   2/ 2 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    9  4 0
 3/ 2 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   109  78  5 58.3   3/ 3*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   6  6 0
 4- 3 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    497 399 16 55.5   4/ 6 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       6  9 1
 5/ 4 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       573 472 19 54.8   5/13 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    5  2 0
 6- 5 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 216 196 13 52.4   6/ 9 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    5  3 0
 7/ 7 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)       152 143  7 51.5   7/ 4 TPW FOREVER (619)         5  4 2
 8/ 9 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      142 137 12 50.9   8/10*BAD RESTAURANT (622)      5 10 1
 9/10 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  53  52  4 50.5   9/ 0*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)      4  0 1
10/ 6 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     23  23  4 50.0  10/12 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)        4  0 0
11/11*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   13  13  1 50.0  11/ 8 FUNKY FOLK (565)          4  1 1
12/12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    78  80  2 49.4  12/11*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   4  2 2
13/13 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       84  87  2 49.1  13/19 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     4  4 1
14/14 4000 BLOWS (107)         682 748 31 47.7  14/24*GNOMISH (624)             4  6 0
15/17 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    60  69  3 46.5  15/ 7 RED DOG GANG (476)        4 10 0
16-15 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  82  5 46.4  16/ 5 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  3  5 0
17/16 WING HOVE (529)          102 123  5 45.3  17-14*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   2  0 0
18/22 TPW FOREVER (619)         13  17  3 43.3  18/18 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        2  3 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 FUNKY FOLK (565)          60  79  6 43.2  19/17 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  2  4 0
20/19 CREEPSTERESE (606)        13  18  3 41.9  20/16 4000 BLOWS (107)          1  2 0
21-21*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)    5   7  0 41.7  21-25 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     1  2 0
22/27*GNOMISH (624)              4   6  0 40.0  22-22 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  1  2 0
23/24 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  69 106  6 39.4  23/21 CREEPSTERESE (606)        1  3 1
24/25 RED DOG GANG (476)       353 585  5 37.6  24-23*VISIONIST INC (259)       1  4 1
25/23*BAD RESTAURANT (622)       5  10  1 33.3  25/15 WING HOVE (529)           0 13 0
26-26*VISIONIST INC (259)        1   4  1 20.0  26-26*ELFEN LIED (623)          0  5 0
27/ 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)    3  18  0 14.3  27/ 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)   0  4 0
28-28*ELFEN LIED (623)           0   9  0  0.0  28-27*MORAL SQUALOR (621)       0  3 0
29-30*MORAL SQUALOR (621)        0   3  0  0.0  29-28 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): LIN MINMEI of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 574): MR. B. of MANIC MARVELS (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 574): SHOWSTOPPER of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 566): NAFISAH of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 563): KERMAN JONES of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 563): SYMPATHY of MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn SVEN BLUETOOTH of STEEL CRUSADE (?, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn SLEEPS ALL DAY of GAMEHENDGE (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 525): CHUCK ELVIS of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 516): WILLIAM CRAWFORD of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 507): EARL of FANDILS (Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 234): SHY ANN of SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 422): RICKY J of THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 409): TOM-TOM TORA of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL oF DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 459): VISION of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 574): COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 574): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 566): MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 563): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 563): MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 561): MEDAL OF HONOR VI (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 525): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 516): CULT OF THE SUN (Noachian, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 507): FANDILS (Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 234): SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 422): THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 409): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 188): none
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 459): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): TIEN of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 573): AIRK ARCSTONE of TUFT TUGGERS (Adie, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 573): DANISH PASTRY of FOREIGN LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 560): CLEMMIE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): CARDINAL ARIZPE of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 515): REIGN OF BLADES of THE PLAGUE (Reaper, mgr.)
                 (turn 516): JAMES DOOLITTLE of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 506): DAVY PRIVETTE of FANDILS (Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 233): TONNELLE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 421): JIM PANZE of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
                                   SPAM SANDWICH of CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (Samwise the
                                   Bald, mgr.)
                                   COYOTE of BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 409): TOM-TOM TORA of WAYFARERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hello Collusion Cove!
     It's good to be back on top I must say.  Tiger Ty, sorry dude, but maybe you're
just not meant to be Duelmaster, cause I really can't believe I won that fight.
Needless to say I'll be avoiding you this turn.  Two fights away from graduation I
think, hopefully I can spend them on the throne. -- Ricky J
P.S.  Just to make sure we're all on the same page, when I say throne I don't mean
the toilet, I actually mean the duelmastership.  Lord knows I've logged a lot of
hours on that throne.  That time I meant toilet.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of COLLUSION COVE!  Know me for who I am, Zontani 
Sharp Eyes, Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  My tutors were fond of telling 
me that the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This week BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS went 
0-2-0 and fell 11 notches into 16th!  A new guild, HOUSE OF GRAIN, entered COLLUSION 
COVE with a clash this turn, showing off a 4-0-1 record.  Indeed, a worthy addition 
to the city guilds.  EDWARD KINGSLEY caught the eye of many in the gladiatorial 
commission as he skillfully bested CREDENCE and was awarded 21 points in recognition. 
In one of the week's more notable duels, NULN'S PET SOCK put down LASSIE, causing her 
to lose 12 points of recognition in the process.  Not for nothing has RICKY J in the 
past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, and this week he's proven his combat 
skill yet again.  No confirmation, but my sources claim that the top team has gained 
their position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     Many and various are the arts of battle.  In COLLUSION COVE "art" is a word that 
has long since passed from the language!  I saw one fighter that warriors avoided 
when this week's challenge seeking began.  ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ is feared.  This much I 
can say.  Apparently the stalwarts of THE BUNKHOUSE are catching the bulk of jests 
down at the challenging board for their large share of the avoids.  Mighty fighters 
cannot but expect competition from those below.  BLACK BURN HAMMER take warning!  You 
have more than a few enemies in COLLUSION COVE.   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  PEG BORED has sworn to take up religion upon 
living to tell of hers recent bout with the Dark Arena horrors.  A rare thing indeed! 
I must report the passing of LITTLE EDDY, veteran of many duels.  7-10-1 final record 
His was not illustrious--but death plays no favorites.  The warrior's path is harsh.  
For mediocrity there is but one reward--death.  This past week PETE, at 0-9-0, 
departed COLLUSION COVE forever.  Let all swords of the city take heed!  By law, 
DEATH STUDS VII has but one remaining week to take their revenge upon MADONNA for the 
slaying of EVIL XXV.  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers the miserable with 
fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till next we 
meet remember:  a fool flies into a rage quickly and often.  The wise are angered by 
the same thing only once.  Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RICKY J 7968                 14   5  1   123       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MADONNA 7780                 21  15  2   105       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             12   8  2    95       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 AIMLESS 7967                 13   6  0    94       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-TYVEK 7478                    8   7  0    93       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VAS DEFERENS 7534            14   8  0    88       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               8   7  0    86       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 TIGER TY 7665                15  13  1    85       WING HOVE (529)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-WHITE WITCH 7542             19  15  0    82       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412      11  16  0    82       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413            12  14  0    81       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          6   0  1    81       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-911 7936                      9   6  0    79       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 ALLAN JOHNSON 8232            8   2  0    77       TPW FOREVER (619)
-SMALL INTESTINE 7535         10  13  1    73       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 MACS 7797                    15  20  2    67       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           12  29  1    66       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
 BULLY BOY 7447               16  17  0    65       RED DOG GANG (476)
 ROCKY BANKS 7073             12  14  0    64       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 HOFFA 7713                   13  22  0    61       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         8   1  0    58       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PEG BORED 8069                6   0  2    52       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 ZIGGERZAG 7153                8   2  0    48       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        6   1  1    48       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-MYSTIQUE 7932                 3   0  0    45       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-TOWEL BOY 8265                2   0  1    37       TPW FOREVER (619)
-URETHRA 7851                  4   2  0    36       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NULN'S PET SOCK 7465          5   2  0    33       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-I OWN INDIMAR 8084            3   5  0    33       4000 BLOWS (107)
-GOUHL 2885                    1   0  1    33       VISIONIST INC (259)
-GAZREK 7858                   5   4  0    32       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 KELLY FABULOUS 8221           4   2  0    31       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 FALOPIAN 8260                 3   0  0    30       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 GRUNT VI 7980                 5   5  2    28       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 RAZOR XXV 8154                4   1  0    28       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               4   0  0    27       4000 BLOWS (107)
 TWIG 8096                     1   1  1    27       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080         6   0  1    26       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 WEKA DART 7979                5   5  1    25       WING HOVE (529)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ERETHISM 8251                 2   0  0    24       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882       5   4  0    22       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 WONDER BOY HAMMER 8079        3   3  0    21       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330          1   0  1    21       TPW FOREVER (619)
-ODALISQUE 8121                1   0  0    21       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 PAUL BEARER 8082              1   0  0    21       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-SETH DRAVEN 8231              2   1  1    20       TPW FOREVER (619)
 PEACH FUZZ 8095               2   1  1    20       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-HANS GRUBER 7931              1   1  0    20       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 STITCHES 8245                 1   3  0    20       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 ROLLDOZER 8342                1   0  0    20       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 WREAK 8272                    2   1  1    19       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 PUSILLANIMOUS 8192            2   0  0    18       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-PLUM 8094                     1   0  1    18       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 DEATH STUD 8211               3   2  1    17       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-SALACIOUS 8166                1   2  0    17       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 PANAMON 8087                  4   4  0    16       WING HOVE (529)
 SCORN BREAD 8343              1   0  0    16       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 THINGA MABOB 8308             2   0  0    14       GNOMISH (624)
 RYEHARD 8339                  1   0  1    13       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 LASSIE 8194                   2   6  0    12       RED DOG GANG (476)
 THE BUNISHER 8341             1   0  0    12       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 DEELIBOB 8333                 1   0  0    12       GNOMISH (624)
 MR. CLEAN 8307                1   0  1    11       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-CLARK KENT 8196               3   1  0    10       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 FLUMMAX 8193                  1   7  0    10       RED DOG GANG (476)
-COCO NUTS 8163                1   0  0    10       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 STUMPY 8286                   3   0  0     9       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-SHRIVELLED PRUNE 8177         1   0  0     9       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 SPLASH 8174                   1   5  0     8       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-VENGRAZ 8018                  1   0  0     7       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 THINGA MAJIG 8312             1   1  0     7       GNOMISH (624)
-SKI DOOSKI 8284               1   0  1     6       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 DA BREE 8276                  1   2  0     5       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 ROACH 8270                    1   2  0     5       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 BOOGER 8269                   1   2  0     5       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 TROTS 8268                    0   3  0     3       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 COL 8298                      0   2  0     2       WING HOVE (529)
 THE ERR MUTT 8322             0   2  0     2       RED DOG GANG (476)
 PAR 8297                      0   2  0     2       WING HOVE (529)
-SPLIT-SEAM IRENE 8256         0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
-PILE-DRIVER DAN 8257          0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
 FIZZIT 8334                   0   1  0     1       GNOMISH (624)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
(TM) 8328              0  1 0 4000 BLOWS 107        GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    423 NONE    
BLACK BITE HAMME 8077  0  2 0 ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ 614 PEG BORED 8069        419 NOT REVE
TUDE 8271              1  2 0 BAD RESTAURANT 622    RYEHARD 8339          423         
WHISTLE PIG 7806       9 22 0 BUGS, SLUGS & THU 591 BURNT OFFERINGS 8054  419 NOT REVE
CREDENCE 8320          1  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330  423         
OTHER GUY 8237         0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080 419 NOT REVE
ROADRUNNER 7969        4  6 0 CRAZY CREEPS 207      LITTLE EDDY 7536      421 REVENGED
DEATHAROOSKI 8331      0  1 0 CREEPSTERESE 606      SEA MONSTER 27        423 NONE    
ARNIE SHEW 21          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          PEG BORED 8069        423 NONE    
EVIL XXV 7900          8  4 1 DEATH STUDS VII 301   MADONNA 7780          420         
ENIGMA XXV 7871        3  6 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   STONE GOLEM 26        423 NONE    

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
TYVIN 8072             0  1 0 DEMONS OF DARKNES 430 PLUM 8094             422         
HAM BERGER 8101        0  1 0 FUNKY FOLK 565        ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 423 NONE    
COG 8309               0  2 0 GNOMISH 624           GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    423 NONE    
DOOHICKY 8310          0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           WREAK 8272            422         
WINGNUT 8311           0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           SKI DOOSKI 8284       422         
WRASCALLY WRIST 8057   0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 ARENAMASTER HARKON 23 423 NONE    
NERVOUS NAVAL 8056     0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 SEA MONSTER 27        423 NONE    
BUTCHEROUS BIG T 8055  0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 BORED ELF 19          423 NONE    
JIHADING JAWBONE 7970  0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 MR. CLEAN 8307        423         
PETE 8182              0  9 0 RED DOG GANG 476      TWIG 8096             423         
LITTLE EDDY 7536       7 10 1 SWIFT CURRENT 468     BLACK WIDOW XLII 7868 423         
ATLAS 8229             0  2 0 TPW FOREVER 619       BORED ELF 19          423 NONE    
BAG O' SNOTLINGS 8329  0  1 0 THE UPSTARTS III 510  ARNIE SHEW 21         423 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Congrats to Ricky J.
Duelmaster of the day.
     This rendition brought to you by The Crazy Creeps et al

WE WANT TOGS!  WE WANT TOGS!  WE WANT TOGS!  WE WANT TOGS! -- The Crazy Creeps (after
taking the FONZ seminar on collusion methodology)

     Speak for yourselves! -- Ed.

Aha!  Bloodfeud completer. -- The Riddler

FONZ = Funny Oldies Napping ZZZZZZs
     Anonymous

Death Stud -- Did your hands slip off the seat?  Hope you were wearing your little
plastic arm floaties when you fell into (I assume by your comment) the toilet. --
Splash
P.S.  How in the heck did you climb out of that slippery ceramic bowl?

Stellar Studly -- Who said anything about a good manager, after all you've had alot
to do with my training. -- Barnabas

The Riddler -- Had a feelin' it was comin'. -- Little Eddy

Mr. Oblivious -- Oh sure, wake up when I just get ready to sneak attack you. -- Rocky
Banks

Split-Seam -- Sorry honey, you just don't have the stamina to keep up. -- Stumpy

Thinga -- Oh yeah, that's how I like it! -- Da Bree

Erethism -- I'm beginning to see a bad pattern, it's called losing. -- Splash

Nuln -- If nothin' else I have the PA's to kick butt in. -- Barnabas

Paulsonettes -- Hopefully there is some retaliation this turn, I'm doing everything I
can to light a fire underneath your ?????.  Looks like the name is catching on, just
think, you could be the next Partridge Family, maybe you can sing. -- Barnabas

Dudley Do Right -- Sorry, I couldn't help it. -- Barnabas

Samwise -- What's a matter, your wife won't let you write personals? -- Barnabas

Allan Johnson -- Actually, I've never questioned it.  I just roll with it. -- Aimless
P.S.  That's how I roll.

Nuln -- Negative on the chaos sombrero.  It's on my list though. -- Pauly

Death Stud -- We're saving the Paulson-style beat downs for TOGS.  Don't worry, we've
set a few aside just for you. -- Pauly

Barnabas -- Geritol?  I don't think the old man can pull that look off, what with the
receding hairline and all. -- Pauly

Booger -- Well fought. -- Kelly Fabulous
P.S.  I'm fabulous.

Pauly -- Huh, suddenly this turned into an episode of "Dateline:To Catch a Hamster
Predator."  Do you want your face pixelated for the interview?  Heh. -- Anti

Ed. -- Chaos Sombrero would be a great name for a dark arena monster.  Or one of
those stupid "punk" bands that just plays 80's songs really fast.  Just saying. :)  -
- Anti

     Okay, if you win TOGS, you have to rename the arena "Chaos Sombrero TM". -- Ed.

Barnabas -- The new guy would be the guy with the low number of fights.  As opposed
to say the ones with 15+ fights.  I guess I should just say "duh" and move on... but
that just isn't my style.  So, math...hard to comprehend...or is it WITCHCRAFT?  ;)
-- Anti

Stitches -- It's rotten, sure enough, but humans just don't understand this stuff.
What you needed was for your dog to lick it every ten minutes or so.  Then you'd be
fine.  Really.  We have antiseptic mouths.  Everyone knows that. -- Flummax

Gazrek -- (pouting)  You were supposed to teach me new tricks.  I was ready. -- Bully
Boy
P.S.  I'm not old!  I'm NOT.  I'm just... in the prime of dog-life.

Towel Boy -- (jumping back and barking)  (whirling in a circle trying to keep facing
his opponent and barking)  (trying to catch the towel in his teeth to shred it, and
barking)  You shouldn't do that!  I'm a GOOD dog. -- Pete

Dwayne the Dog -- (hackles rising, growling softly)  Who are you and what do you want
here?  (growling not so softly and baring her teeth)  Go away!  I'm the dog here!
Intruder!  Intruder! -- Lassie

Shirvelled Prune -- You taste bad, you're a VEGETABLE, and you talk to much.  Go
away.  I want to be alone. -- The Err Mutt

Lassie -- (sternly)  Be kinder to the Friendly Animal Control Constable.  His job
here in Aradi is not an easy one. -- Arenamaster Harkon

TOGS IS NEARITUDINAL!!

Barnabas -- Keep ridin' those Fallon boys.  I'm curious as to how long it'll take
before one of 'em snaps. -- Nuln, avid people watcher

Indimar Fallon -- C'mon, Barny's right, show some reast, man! -- Nuln

Crazy Creeps = Losers

the Pauly -- I got a cheap Chaos Sombrero (yes, it's TMed too) last time my cousin
took me to Chevy's on my birthday, but I'm sure it was made in Taiwan.  But an
authentic C.S. (tm); now that would be a thing o' beauty. -- the Nuln
P.S.  I hope you stayed away from the Clamato when you were down there....

Pauly -- I see a new warrior name in your future:  Respect the Hamster.  I think
Snotman would approve. -- Nuln

TOGS IS ARRIVINATING!!!

Death Stud -- You're right, my skill is way better than yours.  That being said, can
I trade it for some of your magical TC juice? -- Nuln

Clark Kent -- I think you look much better with your foot in your mouth.  No no, a
little more to the right.  There, now just leave it that way. -- 4000 Blows Scribe

Anti -- Now look what you've done.  How will Indimar get his turns now? -- a
concerned citizen of Ara...er, Collusion Cove

Death Stud again -- You're going to beat your flag pole because you lost to Ruthless
Luke Jaywalker?  You are indeed a sick man.  I can't believe you have lowered the
discourse in this arena to such bedrock levels. -- Nuln the disappointed

Ghost of Wingnut -- Badda badda binski, no nuts in your wingski. -- Ski Dooski

Ghost of Wingnut -- My apologies, but there is no translation available for what he
just said. -- Manager of Creepsterese

FONZ = Formidibly Omnipotent Non-Zebras

Splash -- OK, see you around punk.  Come back any time you're looking for a serving
of whupass.  The kitchen is open all night. -- Grunt
P.S.  Oh by the way, I especially like the part where Daryl Hannah turns into the
mermaid in the bath and Tom Hanks breaks in to save her.  Ah, good times.

Pauly -- Hope you had a great time in Cabo! -- Death Stud

TOGS IS COMING!

 ;
;
.  uu jel7klzzz (This message brought to you by Ed. Jr. -- Ed.)

27 July 2007
                        *************************************
                        *************************************
                        **  STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE II   **
                        *************************************
                        *************************************

Years have passed since the last Slaughterhouse, but the season is right for a return
to STORMCROWE!  Join us in DM-45 for the STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE II.

WHEN

*The actions begins TURN-263 (due approximately November 27, 2007)

WHERE

*STORMCROWE (DM 45)

HOW LONG

*13 Turns (Turns 263-275)

TEAMS

*Teams will consist of two (2) managers.  No more, no less.  Only one team allowed

per manager.  Violators will be disqualified from the competition.  Old teams and new
teams are welcome to join the competition.  Once the contest has begun (TURN 263)
managers MAY NOT exchange teams or partners.

SCORING

In the tradition of the Slaughterhouse, scoring will be simple and straight-forward.
Victory and achievements will be rewarded while defeats will be mocked and ridiculed.

+3 Win
+2 Kill (in addition to +3 Win for a total of +5)
+5 Team on the Move (Top Gainer(s) Only)
+3 Turn's Most Popular
+3 Turn's Least Popular
+5 Current Top Team (begins 3rd turn of contest)

SPECIAL SCORING CONSIDERATIONS

*Fights against teammates garner NO POINTS.

*Fights against Judith's team (Northern Lights), Arena Stand Bys and the Dark Arena
garner NO POINTS (this includes DA kills).

*Tourney participation is allowed (even encouraged), but NO POINTS will be given for
success in those endeavors.

*NO POINTS will be awarded for DM, Popularity Leader, Chartered Recognition Leader,
Top Chartered Team, Stylemasters, Top Unchartered Team, and Unchartered Recognition
Leader.  Every effort has been made to insure scoring neither benefits established
teams nor new teams.

ENTRY

Entry into the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse is easy:

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

PRIZES

*ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

*KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a
Limited Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she
will be resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

*TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three

months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time,
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.

TIE-BREAKERS

In the unlikely event of a tie, pre-contest established tie-breakers will be
consulted to determine a winner.  The tie-breaking criteria are known to the
Moderator and RSI.  They will not be made public knowledge to avoid any exploitation.

MODERATOR

Master Darque will be serving as Master of Ceremonies for the Slaughterhouse II.  As
such, all his decisions are final.  Any rules inquiries should be directed to him.

CONTACT INFORMATION

Master Darque can be reached by Diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428) or you may email
him at the following address:  rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com.  Be sure to put
STORMCROWE in the Subject line of your Email so it can be easily spotted if sent to
his Spam folder.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PEG BORED viciously butchered ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ENIGMA XXV was savagely slain by STONE GOLEM in a exciting 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
ATLAS was viciously butchered by BORED ELF in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
COG was assassinated by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
HAM BERGER was butchered by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BAG O' SNOTLINGS was slain by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
DEATHAROOSKI was executed by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
(TM) was assassinated by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena melee.
WRASCALLY WRIST was slaughtered by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
NERVOUS NAVAL was slaughtered by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
BUTCHEROUS BIG TOE was assassinated by BORED ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
ROCKY BANKS handily defeated HOFFA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
FALOPIAN subdued WEKA DART in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody Challenge match.
DEATH STUD was bested by WONDERFUL HAMMER in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
NULN'S PET SOCK demolished LASSIE in a 1 minute bloody one-sided Challenge brawl.
RAZOR XXV handily defeated PEACH FUZZ in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
THINGA MABOB outlasted BOOGER in a 7 minute beginner's Challenge struggle.
THINGA MAJIG overcame TROTS in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
ERETHISM devastated FLUMMAX in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
STITCHES demolished BLACK BURN HAMMER in a 2 minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.
RICKY J overpowered TIGER TY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched Title conflict.
MADONNA savagely defeated ANDROGENOUS STRAIN in a exciting 1 minute expert's fight.
ALLAN JOHNSON handily defeated YELLOW JACKET in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven duel.
WEEZY DANG overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MR OBLIVIOUS overpowered MACS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
AIMLESS overpowered BULLY BOY in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
LITTLE EDDY was narrowly killed by BLACK WIDOW XLIII in a exciting 2 minute melee.
ZIGGERZAG vanquished GRUNT VI in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
KELLY FABULOUS unbelievably bested PANAMON in a 4 minute bloody bout.
SPLASH was unbelievably bested by PUSILLANIMOUS in a popular 4 minute gory bout.
PETE was slaughtered by TWIG in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fray.
WONDER BOY HAMMER demolished DA BREE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ANT MARTHA HAMMER was beaten by WREAK in a popular 1 minute bout.
SUPERIOR VENA CAVA overcame THE ERR MUTT in a 1 minute bloody match.
ROACH was vanquished by DEELIBOB in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
TUDE was murdered by RYEHARD in a 1 minute mismatched match.
STUMPY outlasted COL in a exciting 7 minute novice's fray.
PAR was demolished by THE BUNISHER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
CREDENCE was slaughtered by EDWARD KINGSLEY in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided bout.
JIHADING JAWBONE was executed by MR. CLEAN in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
PAUL BEARER handily defeated FIZZIT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ROLLDOZER overpowered TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven battle.
SCORN BREAD vanquished DWAYNE THE DOG in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 23         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -  11 -  0      50  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         WALL OF STEEL     26 -  26 -  2      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         LUNGING ATTACK    45 -  48 -  3      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         AIMED BLOW        21 -  23 -  1      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         STRIKING ATTACK   66 -  78 -  4      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         TOTAL PARRY       33 -  47 -  2      41  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  39 -  2      35  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         BASHING ATTACK    16 -  31 -  5      34  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  24 -  2      31  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  19 -  2      17  |

Turn 423 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  4         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  4     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   12 - 11     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  6         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  RICKY J 7968               14   5  1  123 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
LUNGING ATTACK   MADONNA 7780               21  15  2  105 THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
AIMED BLOW       AIMLESS 7967               13   6  0   94 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
WALL OF STEEL    TIGER TY 7665              15  13  1   85 WING HOVE (529)
BASHING ATTACK   PEG BORED 8069              6   0  2   52 FUNKY FOLK (565)
TOTAL PARRY      BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868      6   1  1   48 DEATH STUDS XII (602)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MADONNA 7780.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was COL 8298.  The ten other most popular fighters were SPLASH 8174, ENIGMA XXV 7871, 
LITTLE EDDY 7536, STITCHES 8245, FALOPIAN 8260, DEATH STUD 8211, ERETHISM 8251, RICKY 
J 7968, MADONNA 7780, and ALLAN JOHNSON 8232.

The least popular fighter this week was STUMPY 8286.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were BOOGER 8269, FIZZIT 8334, JIHADING JAWBONE 7970, CREDENCE 8320, PAR 
8297, TUDE 8271, ROACH 8270, THE ERR MUTT 8322, ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076, and DA BREE 
8276.