DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 09/07/2007    Duedate: 09/20/2007

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-424

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

TYVEK
DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
(60-7478) [9-7-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MADONNA                        SCORN BREAD
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
(60-7780) [22-15-2,118]        (60-8343) [2-0-0,27]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MADONNA                        MACS
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
(60-7780) [22-15-2,118]        (60-7797) [16-20-2,78]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)        36
2. THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)  24      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. RED DOG GANG (476)          21      Unchartered Team
4. ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)      19
5. DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)  18      HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)       9   0  1  100   1/ 9*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)      9  0 1
 2- 2*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    9   5  6 64.3   2/ 2 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    8  4 0
 3/ 3 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   111  78  5 58.7   3/ 1 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       8  7 0
 4/ 4 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    498 399 16 55.5   4/ 5 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    7  2 0
 5/ 5 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       575 472 19 54.9   5/ 7 TPW FOREVER (619)         5  3 1
 6/ 6 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 218 197 13 52.5   6- 3*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   5  3 0
 7/ 9 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  55  52  4 51.4   7/15 RED DOG GANG (476)        5 10 0
 8/ 7 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)       152 145  7 51.2   8/18 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        4  0 1
 9- 8 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      142 137 12 50.9   9-12*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   4  2 2
10-11*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   13  13  1 50.0  10/19 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  4  2 0
11/10 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     25  26  4 49.0  11/13 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     4  6 1
12/12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    78  82  2 48.8  12- 4 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       4  6 0
13/13 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       85  91  2 48.3  13-14*GNOMISH (624)             4  6 0
14-14 4000 BLOWS (107)         682 748 31 47.7  14/22 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  3  3 0
15/15 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    62  70  3 47.0  15-17*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   2  0 0
16-16 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      71  82  5 46.4  16/10 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)        2  2 0
17/17 WING HOVE (529)          104 126  5 45.2  17/11 FUNKY FOLK (565)          2  3 1
18/18 TPW FOREVER (619)         14  18  3 43.8  18/ 6 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    2  4 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 FUNKY FOLK (565)          60  81  6 42.6  19/ 8*BAD RESTAURANT (622)      2 13 1
20-20 CREEPSTERESE (606)        13  18  3 41.9  20/25 WING HOVE (529)           2 13 0
21-21*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)    5   7  0 41.7  21/21 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     1  0 0
22-22*GNOMISH (624)              4   6  0 40.0  22-23 CREEPSTERESE (606)        1  3 1
23/23 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  69 108  6 39.0  23-24*VISIONIST INC (259)       1  4 1
24/24 RED DOG GANG (476)       355 588  5 37.6  24/16 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  1  6 0
25/25*BAD RESTAURANT (622)       5  15  1 25.0  25-27 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)   0  4 0
26-26*VISIONIST INC (259)        1   4  1 20.0  26-28*MORAL SQUALOR (621)       0  3 0
27-27 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)    3  18  0 14.3  27/26*ELFEN LIED (623)          0  3 0
28/28*ELFEN LIED (623)           0  10  0  0.0  28-20 4000 BLOWS (107)          0  2 0
29-29*MORAL SQUALOR (621)        0   3  0  0.0  29-29 LIVING SHADOWS (616)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): LIN MINMEI of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 575): VIOLET VULTURE of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 574): SHOWSTOPPER of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 567): NAFISAH of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 564): KERMAN JONES of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 563): SYMPATHY of MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn SVEN BLUETOOTH of STEEL CRUSADE (?, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 556): THE BOY KING of WORLDLY DECLINE (?, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 526): HAMILTON of VABOROUGHS (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 517): WILLIAM CRAWFORD of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 508): LOTHAR LIGHTSWORD of TUFT-TASTIC! (Adie, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 234): SHY ANN of SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 423): RICKY J of THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 410): CLE of UN (JE, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): EYE OF THE NEEDLE oF HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 460): VISION of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 575): COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 574): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 567): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 564): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 563): MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 561): MEDAL OF HONOR VI (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 526): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 517): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 508): FANDILS (Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 234): SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 422): THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 410): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 460): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): TIEN of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 575): VIOLET VULTURE of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 573): DANISH PASTRY of FOREIGN LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 567): NAFISAH of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 560): CLEMMIE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): CARDINAL ARIZPE of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 517): WILLIAM CRAWFORD of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
                 (turn 516): JAMES DOOLITTLE of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 506): DAVY PRIVETTE of FANDILS (Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 233): TONNELLE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 409): TOM-TOM TORA of WAYFARERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): JESSICA RABBIT of BRAIN FOOD 36 (?, mgr.)
                 (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  The boys at THE BUNKHOUSE left the arena 
dejected, after being kicked out of the top spot by HOUSE OF GRAIN.  Good show!  The 
boys at CHILDHOOD TRAUMA aren't the happy-go-lucky bunch we all know and love, after 
suffering a 12 drop last week.  Rumor has it an incurable disease has swept the 
stable of BAD RESTAURANT.  Note their drop in the rankings from 8th to 19th.  Watch 
out!!!  Say what you will about blind luck and dirty fighting, but HOUSE OF GRAIN 
will tell you 9-0-1 is nothing to laugh at...  THINGS ILL NEVER GET had cause to 
celebrate, after MADONNA got 13 points by beating AIMLESS.  A certain someone should 
cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 10 points to GRUNT VI.  
(Discrete enough, FALOPIAN?) What can be a greater victory?  TYVEK has taken its 
place as the top, as COLLUSION COVE's new Duelmaster.  So who's the team that's been 
walking into taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds like a PR stunt to me.   
     And how sociable are COLLUSION COVE's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Like a horde 
of jackals fleeing from the lion, so did the "warriors" in COLLUSION COVE avoid THE 
UPSTARTS III.  Like a pup with its tail between its legs, THE BUNKHOUSE scurried away 
from THE UPSTARTS III.  Oh, the shame!  Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and 
MR OBLIVIOUS is it right now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't THE UPSTARTS III 
proud!  My love of complete Spyreports dictates that I note the mismatched fight, 
SALACIOUS and ROACH.  Are ELOQUENT KNIGHTS unwilling to engage in a fair fight?  I 
thought SALACIOUS showed great skill and promise when she subdued ROACH.  All right, 
so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
The manager at FUNKY FOLK must have some new strategy for sending PEG BORED, a 
warrior with 6-0-2, to the Dark Arena.  Watch this space!  Forgive and forget is not 
my motto.  Take heed, DEATH STUDS VII, as EVIL XXV's death remains unavenged.  Oh 
hard!  that to strike a flame, the match itself must needs be wasting!   
     Do not think spyreporting in COLLUSION COVE is the highlight of my life.  My 
fingers tire and I fear my incessant prattling may cause unfair judgement upon my 
impeccable character.  Do not despair!  I shall return!-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TYVEK 7478                    9   7  0   108       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MADONNA 7780                 22  15  2   118       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
 WEEZY DANG 7909               9   7  0    98       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             12   8  2    95       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-WRATH LIX 7899                9   3  0    93       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 RICKY J 7968                 14   6  1    92       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VAS DEFERENS 7534            14   8  0    88       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 AIMLESS 7967                 13   7  0    88       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE WITCH 7542             20  15  0    87       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412      11  16  0    82       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          6   0  1    81       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413            12  15  0    80       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-911 7936                      9   6  0    79       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 MACS 7797                    16  20  2    78       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 BULLY BOY 7447               17  17  0    77       RED DOG GANG (476)
 TIGER TY 7665                15  14  1    76       WING HOVE (529)
-SMALL INTESTINE 7535         10  13  1    73       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 ALLAN JOHNSON 8232            8   3  0    68       TPW FOREVER (619)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           12  30  1    67       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ROCKY BANKS 7073             12  14  0    64       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 HOFFA 7713                   13  23  0    62       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         8   1  0    58       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        7   1  1    51       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-ZIGGERZAG 7153                8   2  0    48       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-MYSTIQUE 7932                 3   0  0    45       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 NULN'S PET SOCK 7465          6   2  0    44       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 GRUNT VI 7980                 6   5  2    41       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-TOWEL BOY 8265                2   0  1    37       TPW FOREVER (619)
-URETHRA 7851                  4   2  0    36       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 GAZREK 7858                   6   4  0    34       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-I OWN INDIMAR 8084            3   5  0    33       4000 BLOWS (107)
-GOUHL 2885                    1   0  1    33       VISIONIST INC (259)
 WEKA DART 7979                6   5  1    31       WING HOVE (529)
 PUSILLANIMOUS 8192            3   0  0    30       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               4   0  0    27       4000 BLOWS (107)
 SCORN BREAD 8343              2   0  0    27       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-TWIG 8096                     1   1  1    27       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080         6   0  1    26       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330          2   0  1    26       TPW FOREVER (619)
 ROLLDOZER 8342                2   0  0    25       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 SALACIOUS 8166                2   2  0    24       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-ERETHISM 8251                 2   0  0    24       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KELLY FABULOUS 8221           4   3  0    23       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 PANAMON 8087                  5   4  0    22       WING HOVE (529)
 RAZOR XXV 8154                4   2  0    22       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-WONDER BOY HAMMER 8079        3   3  0    21       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-PAUL BEARER 8082              1   0  0    21       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-ODALISQUE 8121                1   0  0    21       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882       5   5  0    20       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 CLARK KENT 8196               4   1  0    20       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 FALOPIAN 8260                 3   1  0    20       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-SETH DRAVEN 8231              2   1  1    20       TPW FOREVER (619)
-PEACH FUZZ 8095               2   1  1    20       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 THE BUNISHER 8341             2   0  0    20       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-HANS GRUBER 7931              1   1  0    20       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-STITCHES 8245                 1   3  0    20       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-PLUM 8094                     1   0  1    18       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 DEATH STUD 8211               3   3  1    17       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 RYEHARD 8339                  2   0  1    16       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLUMMAX 8193                  2   7  0    16       RED DOG GANG (476)
 WREAK 8272                    2   2  1    14       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-THINGA MABOB 8308             2   0  0    14       GNOMISH (624)
 LASSIE 8194                   2   7  0    13       RED DOG GANG (476)
-DEELIBOB 8333                 1   0  0    12       GNOMISH (624)
-MR. CLEAN 8307                1   0  1    11       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 BEAST XVII 8303               1   0  0    10       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-COCO NUTS 8163                1   0  0    10       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-STUMPY 8286                   3   0  0     9       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-SHRIVELLED PRUNE 8177         1   0  0     9       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 FLOUR POWER 8340              1   0  0     9       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-SPLASH 8174                   1   5  0     8       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 VENGRAZ 8018                  1   1  0     8       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-THINGA MAJIG 8312             1   1  0     7       GNOMISH (624)
-SKI DOOSKI 8284               1   0  1     6       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 WHACK-A-STUD 8349             1   0  0     6       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 ROACH 8270                    1   3  0     6       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 BOOGER 8269                   1   3  0     6       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-DA BREE 8276                  1   2  0     5       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 TROTS 8268                    0   4  0     4       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 COL 8298                      0   3  0     3       WING HOVE (529)
 PAR 8297                      0   3  0     3       WING HOVE (529)
 THE ERR MUTT 8322             0   3  0     3       RED DOG GANG (476)
-SPLIT-SEAM IRENE 8256         0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
-PILE-DRIVER DAN 8257          0   1  0     1       MORAL SQUALOR (621)
 STENCH 8346                   0   1  0     1       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 LITTLE BIG DOG 8355           0   1  0     1       RED DOG GANG (476)
-FIZZIT 8334                   0   1  0     1       GNOMISH (624)
 KEN DEW 8358                  0   1  0     1       FUNKY FOLK (565)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
TUDE 8271              1  2 0 BAD RESTAURANT 622    RYEHARD 8339          423         
DEAD 8356              0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 424 NONE    
CREDENCE 8320          1  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330  423         
ONE 8335               0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  ARNIE SHEW 21         424 NONE    
TWO 8336               0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  SPYMASTER 22          424 NONE    
ROADRUNNER 7969        4  6 0 CRAZY CREEPS 207      LITTLE EDDY 7536      421 REVENGED
EVIL XXV 7900          8  4 1 DEATH STUDS VII 301   MADONNA 7780          420 NOT REVE
ENIGMA XXV 7871        3  7 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   JORGE BLACK ORC 20    424 NONE    
TYVIN 8072             0  1 0 DEMONS OF DARKNES 430 PLUM 8094             422         
FODDER 8345            0  1 0 ELFEN LIED 623        ARNIE SHEW 21         424 NONE    
PEG BORED 8069         6  1 2 FUNKY FOLK 565        SEA MONSTER 27        424 NONE    
DOOHICKY 8310          0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           WREAK 8272            422         
WINGNUT 8311           0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           SKI DOOSKI 8284       422         
JIHADING JAWBONE 7970  0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 MR. CLEAN 8307        423         
PETE 8182              0  9 0 RED DOG GANG 476      TWIG 8096             423         
LITTLE EDDY 7536       7 10 1 SWIFT CURRENT 468     BLACK WIDOW XLII 7868 423         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jihad Jawbone -- I'm sorry I killed you but you should have lived a cleaner life
style. -- Mr. Clean

Rumor has it that Mr. Clean has taken a vacation.  Hope you bloodfeuded him, Lethal
Anatomy II people! -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Little Eddie -- Good feeling.  Good strategy.  Salute. -- Roadrunner

Lassie -- We are on your side!  Let's collude against Dwayne The Dog. -- All Us Crazy
Creeps

Death Stud lost to Ruthless Jaywalker?  Seems normal.  Why wasn't he fighting someone
his own size? -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Ricky J is duelmaster of Collusion Cove?  Just shows how low we can go.  But a salute
to him anyway. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

FONZ = Fearless Organisms Needing Zorro

Nuln -- I would totally buy a "Respect the Hamster" motivational poster.  Totally.
Especially if the hamster was wearing a power tie.  Or a monocle.  Heck, I would
mafia kick my Grandma if a hamster wearing a monocle told me to. -- Anti

Concerned Citizen of Collusion Cove -- Mailman are like pinatas...if you hit em hard
enough Skittles and Jolly Ranchers will fall out.  I'm pretty sure Mr. Rogers told
one of the puppets in Make-Believe-Land that once. -- Anti
P.S.  He juiced ya know. Mr. Rogers, not the puppet. Can't speak for the puppet.

     I'm sure if anyone could speak for the puppet, it would be you. -- Ed.

Pauly -- Sorry 'bout Credence, Edward was running a 6 KD and aiming non-vitals.  I'll
try to keep him running for any BFs. -- Anti

Macs -- Fight?  What the hell are you talking about? -- Mr Oblivious

Ed. -- I'm pretty sure Barnabas will use three syllable words without getting a
nosebleed before I ever win a Togs, but I'll keep that idea in mind. :) -- Anti

     It never hurts to plan ahead. -- Ed.

Nuln's Pet Sock -- Euwh!  (shaking head and pawing at tongue)  Aack!  (gasping and
coughing and choking)  That was awful!  Are you using one of those horrid Never-Chu
sprays or (gagging) was that taste natural? -- Lassie

     Nothing about Nuln's socks is natural. -- Ed.

Erethism -- (whining and crouching down with a placating wag of the tail)  I don't do
big words.  Just call me a Good Dog, and I'll be happy.  Honest!  I'm no trouble
around the house. -- Flummax

Aimless -- (sitting down and scratching his head with his foot)  I'm confused. --
Bully Boy

Twig -- (mournfully)  You're laughing.  You thought it was funny to throw your little
stick for me and watch me run right off the cliff, didn't you?  I can tell.  You're a
Bad Person. -- Ghost of Pete

Superior Vena Cava -- Well, darn.  I bit the silly hose, and it made a strange sound,
so I jumped back and barked, and then...you took the hose and hit me!  I thought you
wanted to play. -- The Err Mutt

Barnabas -- I'll take no responsibility for any weaknesses or failures you may have
as a manager.  I will, however, happily take partial credit for your successes or
anything good that you do.  I prefer to have my cake and eat it too. -- Death Stud

Pauly -- You've set aside some Paulson-style beatings just for me?  Are these the
same ones we're used to where your warriors smash their skulls repeatedly into my
warrior's weapons or did you manage to buy some managerial skill since last year?
Either way, I look forward to it. -- Death Stud

Nuln -- Sorry, but magical TC juice is a scarce commodity that comes in a medicine
dropper and mine is about tapped out. -- Death Stud

Ed. -- Clearly the progeny picked up your keen literary talent.  Had you not told us
who the author was, I'd have mistaken it for some of your stuff.  And it was
definitely up to TOGS level.  Would she be available for hire as a ghost writer for
my TOGS spotlights? -- Death Stud

     How much were you planning to pay?  We're not selling out for mere pennies, ya
     know. -- Ed.

Wonderful Hammer -- Well, that was non-wonderful.  See you around. -- Death Stud, the
warrior

Little Eddy -- Sorry about that, but they don't call us DEATH STUDS for nothing!  I
await the defense of your honor and expect to get beat back to the Stone Age (that's
the period in history when the Creepster and Soultaker were born). -- Black Widow

6 September 2007
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************
                   *****                              *******
                   ***** STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3  *******
                   *****                              *******
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************

15 managers have announced for the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse!!!!!!  There is still 
time to join and make a name for yourself in one of Alastari's fiercest contests!  I 
must correct a mistake in the previous announcement.  I incorrectly called it the 
Slaughterhouse 2, but in reality, this will be the third installment of the 
Slaughterhouse!

HOW TO JOIN

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn 
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up 
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates 
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

*RU certificates must be received on or before the first turn of the contest which is 
Stormcrowe Turn 263 (running approximately November 27, 2007).

RULES and SCORING

Rules and Scoring information for the Slaughterhouse will be posted every turn in the 
Stormcrowe newsletter beginning with Turn 260 and in a final all arena ad in 
November.

PRIZES

ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes 
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a Limited 
Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she will be 
resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize 
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three 
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating 
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time, 
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.

NEED MORE INFORMATION

Rules questions and clarifications may be directed to Master Darque the contest 
coordinator.  He may be reached by email at rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or by 
diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428).

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PEG BORED was butchered by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ENIGMA XXV was dealt death by JORGE BLACK ORC in a exciting 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
DEAD was murdered by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ONE was slaughtered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
TWO was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
FODDER was murdered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
AIMLESS was devastated by MADONNA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
WHITE WITCH unbelievably bested MR OBLIVIOUS in a 4 minute Challenge competition.
WEEZY DANG vanquished TIGER TY in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
KELLY FABULOUS was vanquished by NULN'S PET SOCK in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
SALACIOUS overpowered ROACH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
SUPERIOR VENA CAVA was savagely defeated by WEKA DART in a 2 minute Challenge match.
RICKY J was bested by TYVEK in a exciting 1 minute master's Title conflict.
ALLAN JOHNSON was subdued by KUNG-FU MASTER in a popular 1 minute brawl.
MACS handily defeated HOFFA in a action packed 5 minute gory one-sided conflict.
BULLY BOY devastated YELLOW JACKET in a 1 minute uneven duel.
BLACK WIDOW XLIII beat HAPPY PEASANT in a 1 minute master vs. amateur brawl.
GRUNT VI overpowered FALOPIAN in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
GAZREK beat LASSIE in a 1 minute bout.
RAZOR XXV was outlasted by PUSILLANIMOUS in a crowd pleasing 8 minute fight.
FLUMMAX bested VENGRAZ in a popular 1 minute contest.
PANAMON overpowered THE ERR MUTT in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DEATH STUD was beaten by CLARK KENT in a 1 minute fray.
TROTS was vanquished by THE BUNISHER in a 2 minute mismatched fray.
BOOGER was savagely defeated by FLOUR POWER in a 2 minute gory novice's match.
WREAK was viciously subdued by SCORN BREAD in a action packed 5 minute novice's match.
PAR was luckily beaten by RYEHARD in a 2 minute brutal beginner's match.
COL was vanquished by EDWARD KINGSLEY in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
ROLLDOZER handily defeated KEN DEW in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BEAST XVII vanquished LITTLE BIG DOG in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
STENCH was savagely defeated by WHACK-A-STUD in a 2 minute gory beginner's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 14         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         LUNGING ATTACK    48 -  44 -  3      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  27 -  2      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        21 -  24 -  1      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         STRIKING ATTACK   68 -  81 -  4      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         TOTAL PARRY       35 -  46 -  2      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  39 -  1      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  37 -  5      31  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  24 -  2      31  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  18 -  2      14  |

Turn 424 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     6 -  2     AIMED BLOW         2 -  3         4  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  9         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              BASHING ATTACK     2 -  6         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   TYVEK 7478                  9   7  0  108 DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
AIMED BLOW       WEEZY DANG 7909             9   7  0   98 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
STRIKING ATTACK  RICKY J 7968               14   6  1   92 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
TOTAL PARRY      WHITE WITCH 7542           20  15  0   87 CRAZY CREEPS (207)
WALL OF STEEL    TIGER TY 7665              15  14  1   76 WING HOVE (529)
SLASHING ATTACK  GRUNT VI 7980               6   5  2   41 DEATH STUDS XII (602)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MADONNA 7780.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MACS 7797.  The ten other most popular fighters were RAZOR XXV 8154, MR OBLIVIOUS 
6413, SCORN BREAD 8343, ENIGMA XXV 7871, PAR 8297, WHACK-A-STUD 8349, WEEZY DANG 
7909, NULN'S PET SOCK 7465, WEKA DART 7979, and TYVEK 7478.

The least popular fighter this week was KEN DEW 8358.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were COL 8298, BOOGER 8269, TROTS 8268, THE ERR MUTT 8322, PUSILLANIMOUS 
8192, LASSIE 8194, FALOPIAN 8260, YELLOW JACKET 7627, HOFFA 7713, and ROACH 8270.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

RICKY J (60-7968) THE BUNKHOUSE (595)