DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 09/21/2007    Duedate: 10/04/2007

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-425

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MADONNA
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
(60-7780) [23-15-2,120]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MADONNA                        ROLLDOZER
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
(60-7780) [23-15-2,120]        (60-8342) [3-0-0,36]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MADONNA                        SCORN BREAD
THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)     HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
(60-7780) [23-15-2,120]        (60-8343) [2-1-0,27]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. RESCUE RANGERS (362)        26
2. TPW FOREVER (619)           24      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. DEATH STUDS VII (301)       19      Unchartered Team
4. CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)         16
5. THE UPSTARTS III (510)      15      HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)      11   3  1 78.6   1/ 1*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)     11  3 1
 2- 2*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)    9   5  6 64.3   2/ 2 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    7  4 0
 3/ 3 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   112  78  5 58.9   3/11 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     6  8 1
 4/ 4 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    500 399 16 55.6   4/ 4 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    5  0 0
 5/ 5 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       575 474 19 54.8   5- 3 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       5  5 0
 6- 6 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 218 197 13 52.5   6/10 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  4  2 0
 7/ 7 THINGS ILL NEVER G (601)  56  53  4 51.4   7/ 5 TPW FOREVER (619)         4  4 1
 8- 8 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)       152 145  7 51.2   8/21 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     3  0 0
 9- 9 SWIFT CURRENT (468)      142 137 12 50.9   9/ 8 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        3  2 1
10-10*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   13  13  1 50.0  10-13*GNOMISH (624)             3  2 0
11/ 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)      134 135  8 49.8  11/ 0 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)       3  2 0
12/11 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     27  28  4 49.1  12/ 7 RED DOG GANG (476)        3 12 0
13-13 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       85  91  2 48.3  13/19*BAD RESTAURANT (622)      3 12 0
14/12 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    78  84  2 48.1  14-14 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  2  1 0
15/14 4000 BLOWS (107)         682 749 31 47.7  15-16 GOIN' TUBIN' (577)        2  2 0
16/15 THE UPSTARTS III (510)    64  71  3 47.4  16- 6*ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)   2  2 0
17-17 WING HOVE (529)          104 126  5 45.2  17-17 FUNKY FOLK (565)          2  3 1
18/18 TPW FOREVER (619)         15  20  3 42.9  18-12 SWIFT CURRENT (468)       2  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-19 FUNKY FOLK (565)          60  81  6 42.6  19-20 WING HOVE (529)           2  8 0
20-20 CREEPSTERESE (606)        13  18  3 41.9  20- 9*FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   1  1 1
21-22*GNOMISH (624)              4   6  0 40.0  21/ 0 RESCUE RANGERS (362)      1  4 1
22/23 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  70 109  6 39.1  22/18 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    1  4 0
23/ 0 RESCUE RANGERS (362)      14  22  1 38.9  23/24 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  1  5 0
24/24 RED DOG GANG (476)       356 592  5 37.6  24-25 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)   0  4 0
25/25*BAD RESTAURANT (622)       7  18  1 28.0  25/28 4000 BLOWS (107)          0  2 0
26-27 LETHAL ANATOMY II (512)    3  18  0 14.3  26-22 CREEPSTERESE (606)        0  1 0
27-28*ELFEN LIED (623)           0  10  0  0.0  27-27*ELFEN LIED (623)          0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 287): BURPS FIRE HAMMER of ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): MAN'S BEST FRIEND of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 575): SHOWSTOPPER of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): D.O.A. DOMINANCE of OXYMORONS (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 564): SYMPATHY of MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): LORIS KEY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 557): EARTHQUAKE EXCUSE of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 527): HAMILTON of VABOROUGHS (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 518): VALGARD of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): REAGAN of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): BOB LE CANADIEN of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): TYVEK of DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 411): CLE of UN (JE, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): EYE OF THE NEEDLE oF HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 461): VISION of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 287): BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 575): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 564): MADTOWN (Namenlos, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): MEDAL OF HONOR VI (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 557): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 527): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 518): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): TUFT-TASTIC! (Adie, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): FIRE INC. (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 411): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 461): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 286): TIEN of YAKUZA (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 576): MAGENTA MAGGOT of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 575): VIOLET VULTURE of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 568): BELISSA HOUGH of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
               (turn 567): NAFISAH of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 565): KERMAN JONES of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 562): LORIS KEY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 555): CARDINAL ARIZPE of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 517): WILLIAM CRAWFORD of MEDAL OF HONOR 26 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 509): REAGAN of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 235): BOB LE CANADIEN of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 424): RICKY J of THE BUNKHOUSE (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 189): JESSICA RABBIT of BRAIN FOOD 36 (The Sandman, mgr.)
                 (turn 188): PUPPY ON PATROL of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in COLLUSION COVE since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf 
Modeen adapts to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  Who can explain it? 
Not you, not me, not DEATH STUDS VII's opponents, after watching them shoot up the 
ranks from 21st to 8th.  What's with EDWARD KINGSLEY?  He actually beat 
CHEER-O-KEE'S' FISH STICKS, and walked away with 19 more points from the fight.  
Laughs were big at TPW FOREVER while they watched EDWARD KINGSLEY clobber FISH 
STICKS.  She lost 16 points and got bruised from objects thrown from the stands.  Har 
har har!  Did TYVEK wimp out, or just get lazy?  Anyway, it's not Duelmaster anymore. 
I can barely restrain my enthusiam for THINGS ILL NEVER GET's outstanding member, 
Duelmaster MADONNA.  Wouldn't it be nice to have live subjects to practice on?  I 
hear some team is looking into the uses of convicted prisoners.   
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges...  The most avoided team 
was HOUSE OF GRAIN.  Management must be dealin', as the boys at DEATH STUDS XII ain't 
reelin'!  HOUSE OF GRAIN's mad!  How well I know the feeling of being the most 
challenged warrior, FLOUR POWER!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt 
you.   
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  Who will dare fight AN AVERAGE JOE, after he 
returned from the Dark Arena?  (For the record 2-0-1 is 33, and has he points) How 
long have I been here?  I got people to see, places to go...   
     Who knows what the future holds for a warrior.  More fights, there's no doubt.  
The end of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Time for my 
medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MADONNA 7780                 23  15  2   120       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TYVEK 7478                    9   7  0   108       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
 WRATH LIX 7899               10   3  0    99       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-WEEZY DANG 7909               9   7  0    98       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             12   8  2    95       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-LOKI IX 7860                  8   3  0    92       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-VAS DEFERENS 7534            14   8  0    88       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 MR OBLIVIOUS 6413            13  15  0    88       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-AIMLESS 7967                 13   7  0    88       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-WHITE WITCH 7542             20  15  0    87       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-JAVA 7779                     9   4  0    85       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
 ANDROGENOUS STRAIN 6412      11  17  0    84       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          6   0  1    81       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-911 7936                      9   6  0    79       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
-TIGER TY 7665                15  14  1    76       WING HOVE (529)
 MACS 7797                    16  21  2    74       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BULLY BOY 7447               17  18  0    73       RED DOG GANG (476)
-SMALL INTESTINE 7535         10  13  1    73       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           12  31  1    68       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-ALLAN JOHNSON 8232            8   3  0    68       TPW FOREVER (619)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOFFA 7713                   14  23  0    65       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-ROCKY BANKS 7073             12  14  0    64       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         8   1  0    58       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEW DROPS 7944                8   2  1    55       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-ZIGGERZAG 7153                8   2  0    48       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        7   2  1    46       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330          3   0  1    45       TPW FOREVER (619)
-NULN'S PET SOCK 7465          6   2  0    44       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
-THE LBA 7810                  8   3  0    43       THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
-GRUNT VI 7980                 6   5  2    41       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-URETHRA 7851                  4   2  0    36       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
 ROLLDOZER 8342                3   0  0    36       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 PUSILLANIMOUS 8192            4   0  0    35       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-GAZREK 7858                   6   4  0    34       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 WEEPING WILLOW 8014           5   2  1    34       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-I OWN INDIMAR 8084            3   5  0    33       4000 BLOWS (107)
 AN AVERAGE JOE 7281           2   0  1    33       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
 TOWEL BOY 8265                2   1  1    32       TPW FOREVER (619)
-WEKA DART 7979                6   5  1    31       WING HOVE (529)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               4   0  0    27       4000 BLOWS (107)
 SCORN BREAD 8343              2   1  0    27       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-TWIG 8096                     1   1  1    27       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-WONDERFUL HAMMER 8080         6   0  1    26       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
 DEATH STUD 8211               4   3  1    26       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 RAZOR XXV 8154                5   2  0    24       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-SALACIOUS 8166                2   2  0    24       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-ERETHISM 8251                 2   0  0    24       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FISH STICKS 7952              6   4  1    23       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-KELLY FABULOUS 8221           4   3  0    23       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 BEAST XVII 8303               2   0  0    23       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-PANAMON 8087                  5   4  0    22       WING HOVE (529)
 THE BUNISHER 8341             3   0  0    22       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-WONDER BOY HAMMER 8079        3   3  0    21       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-PAUL BEARER 8082              1   0  0    21       FUNKY FOLK (565)
-ODALISQUE 8121                1   0  0    21       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
-SUPERIOR VENA CAVA 7882       5   5  0    20       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-FALOPIAN 8260                 3   1  0    20       GOIN' TUBIN' (577)
-SETH DRAVEN 8231              2   1  1    20       TPW FOREVER (619)
-PEACH FUZZ 8095               2   1  1    20       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-STITCHES 8245                 1   3  0    20       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 WREAK 8272                    3   2  1    19       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
-PLUM 8094                     1   0  1    18       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 CLARK KENT 8196               4   2  0    14       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 LASSIE 8194                   2   8  0    14       RED DOG GANG (476)
 FLUMMAX 8193                  2   8  0    14       RED DOG GANG (476)
-THINGA MABOB 8308             2   0  0    14       GNOMISH (624)
-DEELIBOB 8333                 1   0  0    12       GNOMISH (624)
 WHACK-A-STUD 8349             2   0  0    11       THE UPSTARTS III (510)
 ROACH 8270                    2   3  0    11       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 LITTLE BIG DOG 8355           1   1  0    11       RED DOG GANG (476)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TREE STUMP 8156               1   0  0    11       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
-ANT MARTHA HAMMER 8076        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-BLACK BURN HAMMER 8078        2   4  0    10       ARMY ANTZ HAMMERZ (614)
-COCO NUTS 8163                1   0  0    10       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-STUMPY 8286                   3   0  0     9       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-SHRIVELLED PRUNE 8177         1   0  0     9       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 RYEHARD 8339                  2   1  1     8       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-SPLASH 8174                   1   5  0     8       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
-VENGRAZ 8018                  1   1  0     8       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-THINGA MAJIG 8312             1   1  0     7       GNOMISH (624)
 BOOGER 8269                   1   4  0     7       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-SKI DOOSKI 8284               1   0  1     6       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 MR. CLEAN 8307                1   1  1     5       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-DA BREE 8276                  1   2  0     5       SWIFT CURRENT (468)
 FLOUR POWER 8340              1   1  0     5       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 TROTS 8268                    0   5  0     5       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
 THUNDER CLOUD 8132            0   1  0     5       CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
 THE ERR MUTT 8322             0   4  0     4       RED DOG GANG (476)
-COL 8298                      0   3  0     3       WING HOVE (529)
-PAR 8297                      0   3  0     3       WING HOVE (529)
 STENCH 8346                   0   2  0     2       BAD RESTAURANT (622)
-FIZZIT 8334                   0   1  0     1       GNOMISH (624)
-KEN DEW 8358                  0   1  0     1       FUNKY FOLK (565)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
ANTI'S MECHANIC 8359   0  1 0 4000 BLOWS 107        FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 425 NONE    
TUDE 8271              1  2 0 BAD RESTAURANT 622    RYEHARD 8339          423         
CREDENCE 8320          1  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595     EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330  423         
TWO 8363               0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  ARNIE SHEW 21         425 NONE    
ONE 8362               0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579  SEA MONSTER 27        425 NONE    
ROADRUNNER 7969        4  6 0 CRAZY CREEPS 207      LITTLE EDDY 7536      421 REVENGED
ARNIE SHEW 21          0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          AN AVERAGE JOE 7281   425 NONE    
THE XFL 8364           0  1 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602   GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    425 NONE    
TYVIN 8072             0  1 0 DEMONS OF DARKNES 430 PLUM 8094             422         
DOOHICKY 8310          0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           WREAK 8272            422         
WINGNUT 8311           0  1 0 GNOMISH 624           SKI DOOSKI 8284       422         
JIHADING JAWBONE 7970  0  1 0 LETHAL ANATOMY II 512 MR. CLEAN 8307        423         
PETE 8182              0  9 0 RED DOG GANG 476      TWIG 8096             423         
ZIPPER 4404            1  6 0 RESCUE RANGERS 362    GARGOYLE PRINCE 25    425 NONE    
GADGET 4574            2  3 0 RESCUE RANGERS 362    SEA MONSTER 27        425 NONE    
CHIP 7298              1  2 0 RESCUE RANGERS 362    FIRST TOGS CHAMPIO 24 425 NONE    
CHIP 7347              0  1 0 RESCUE RANGERS 362    ARNIE SHEW 21         425 NONE    
LITTLE EDDY 7536       7 10 1 SWIFT CURRENT 468     BLACK WIDOW XLII 7868 423         
RING RAT 8348          0  1 0 TPW FOREVER 619       JORGE BLACK ORC 20    425 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Doesn't anyone ever say "hello" anymore?  In any case, I bet you're all expecting me
to use a bunch of bread puns, but that's not how I roll. -- DK "Dark Knead" Bread,
mgr of House of Grain

Whim, wham whoppo!  Supey-doopey scallopinoed Studdy-duddy.  Supercali goody woody
deliciouseronious! -- The Creepster

Clark Kent's rather easy smack down of Death Stud has apparently caught The
Creepster's eye.  Mine too! -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Oh, shucks, Mr. Oblivious, I am so sorry to have beaten you.  So sorry.
Bwahahahahahahah! -- White Witch

Death Stud -- You were easy.  I didn't need to strip to my "S" or even get out of the
phone booth. -- Clark Kent

Death Studs XII -- We appreciate the hypocrisy of Death Stud's (the warrior) name and
size.  We do!  Made our day! -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe and friends.

FONZ = Frivolous Oddities Nodding Zealously

Ed. -- " I'm sure if anyone could speak for the puppet, it would be you."  Thanks, I
try to be an openminded guy and....  HEEEEY!  Wait a minute!  I...er....  Hmmm I lost
my train of thought.  What were we talking about?  Oh yeah, puppets.  I like puppets.
But not clowns.  Yay puppets, boo clowns. -- Anti

     What about clown puppets? -- Ed.

Death Stud -- So you won't be giving Nuln any of your "magical TC juice" huh?  Maybe
after the second date?  If he buys you lobster? -- Anti

Hammer -- You've been awfully quiet, c'mon and join in the drunken revelry that is
Collusion "Not Aradi" Cove.  For every fifth time Ed. insults you, you get a free 6
inch sub.  Really. -- Anti

Col -- Ah yes, a proper thrashing is what you deserved you unclean knave, and a
proper thrashing is what you received.  Tut tut. -- Edward Kingsley

Lassie -- Uhm, I'm a sock.  What do you expect me to say?  I spend my free time
getting bashed around inside a hot, spinning metal thingee.  I'm not big on
conversation. -- Nuln's Pet Sock

To the recent batch of new teams, welcome welcome.  Your fruit basket will be on your
doorstep soon, you'll have to keep an eye out for it since Death Stud usually
delivers them and he can't reach the doorbell.  Hoo ha! -- Anti

Yellow Jacket -- Boy, are you mean!  I saw you sitting there, just buzzing a little,
and I thought, "I dunno what that is, but maybe it wants to play," so I poked you
with my nose.  And you STUNG me!  So of COURSE I bit you.  What did you expect?  Any
dog would have done that. -- Bully Boy

Gazrek -- All the sudden it was dark, and there was this reek of sulfur, which ALWAYS
makes me sneeze.  And while I was sneezing, you popped up and kicked me.  I tried to
tell you I wanted to be friends, but did you listen?  No, of course not.  (sigh)
It's a hard life being a dog.  Nobody understands. -- Lassie

Vengraz -- Lassie was upset with your teammate, who was mean to her.  If she wasn't a
totally GOOD Dog, she'd want all you Darke Demons thrashed, and what Lassie wants, I
see to it she gets.  *I* am not a Good Dog.  Not when I have to be Bad.  I can handle
that. -- Flummax

Panamon -- What?  I thought you were throwing a stick for me, and I chased it.
That's what a dog does, right?  But the stick turned around and hit me on the back of
the head.  I call that unfair!  You have a wicked stick, and you should punish it!
Let me chew it up. -- The Err Mutt

Beast Xvii -- This is all so confusing.  You're littler than me, so does that really
mean that you're bigger?  Wait, wait!  Here's another puzzle:  The reporter called me
a dimimutive gladiator, but you're smaller than me.  Can it do things like that? --
Little Big Dog
P.S.  Why is the crowd throwing flowers?  Who wants flowers?  They should throw
hotdogs.

Crazy Creeps -- Oh, yes, Dwayne the Dog is a Bad Dog and must be driven off.  But
what is this "collude" business?  It sounds like barking under water, which can be
fun sometimes, I admit, if you remember not to breathe IN while your nose is under
the surface. -- Lassie

Anti -- You don't want to HIT mailmen.  You BITE them.  Several times. -- Spot and
the other Dogs

Ed. -- I noticed.  All man-made fibers, too. -- Lassie

Our congratulations to Ricky J. -- Spot and the Red Dog Gang

Fruit of the Loom -- 9-5-6?!?  Dang, that's a right spiffy record you have there. --
Death Studs

House of Grain -- Don't feel bad, 9-0-1 is good as well, but just doesn't have the
same pizzazz. -- The Studs of Death

Clark Kent -- You are super, man. -- Death Stud, the warrior

TOGS!

6 September 2007
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************
                   *****                              *******
                   ***** STORMCROWE SLAUGHTERHOUSE 3  *******
                   *****                              *******
                   ******************************************
                   ******************************************

15 managers have announced for the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse!!!!!!  There is still 
time to join and make a name for yourself in one of Alastari's fiercest contests!  I 
must correct a mistake in the previous announcement.  I incorrectly called it the 
Slaughterhouse 2, but in reality, this will be the third installment of the 
Slaughterhouse!

HOW TO JOIN

*Find a Partner

*Declare your intentions in the Stormcrowe newsletter to enter before the first turn 
of the contest.  You may also email or diplo Master Darque.

*Each manager entering the Stormcrowe Slaughterhouse must submit one (1) Team Roll-Up 
Certificate.  Only certificates will be accepted for entry.  All certificates 
submitted will be used during the course of the contest as prizes.

*RU certificates must be received on or before the first turn of the contest which is 
Stormcrowe Turn 263 (running approximately November 27, 2007).

RULES and SCORING

Rules and Scoring information for the Slaughterhouse will be posted every turn in the 
Stormcrowe newsletter beginning with Turn 260 and in a final all arena ad in 
November.

PRIZES

ENDURANCE AWARD:  One (1) +1 Bonus Potion will be given to every team that competes 
in 60 of the 65 contest fights.

KILL MASTER AWARD:  The individual manager with the most kills will receive a Limited 
Immortality Potion.  This potion may be applied to one (1) warrior.  He/she will be 
resurrected ONE-TIME if they are killed in Basic D2.

TOP TEAM AWARD:  Each manager on the winning team will receive the following prize 
pack for their Slaughterhouse Dominance:

*One (1) +1 Bonus Potion
*Favorites Knowledge for one (1) Warrior
*Undisclosed amount of Team RU Certificates

Special note from RSI on prizes:  All contest prizes must be used within three 
months.  All contest prizes may only be used on a living warrior on the participating 
contest team in DM 45.  The immortality potion may resurrect a warrior one time, 
after a death in DM 45 only, after which time the potion disappears.

NEED MORE INFORMATION

Rules questions and clarifications may be directed to Master Darque the contest 
coordinator.  He may be reached by email at rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com or by 
diplo in DM 45 (Darque Forces-428).

20 September 2007
Ok, ok, you can stop not-talking about TOGS VI already, it is coming, slowly but
surely, like a giant, over-fed, greased slug sliding down a gravely driveway.  We're
looking for new-comers, old-timers, in-betweeners, fence-sitters and Delarquans to
come on out and participate.  Just think, you could be the next Pinky & the Brain
pairing (a la Creepster & Manager), or maybe you'll be the team that crushes all in
its path on the way TO UTTER AND COMPLETE TOGS DOMINATION!!!!!!  [note:  insert
sinister cackle if it helps you complete the picture]

There will be a few minor changes, so let's recap the rules from top to bottom:

1.  Each TOGS team consists of two managers.  After the contest starts, there will be
no switching partners whatsoever, so choose your teammate wisely.  TOGS VI will last
for 13 turns, so pick a partner you can stand for 6 months or so.

2.  The TOGS entry fee is 2 team setups per manager.  This means 4 setups per TOGS
team.  This entry fee is required before the start of the tourney with no exceptions
being made.  This is to ensure that nobody gets screwed if a team or manager decides
to back out early.  To pay the entry fee either:
     a)  send $10 cash/check/money order/ or whatever to me personally at:
          Paul Jokelson
          115 Moss Ave. #201
          Oakland, CA 94611
     b)  get RSI to send me 2 team setup gift certificates.  Sorry, no credit cards
         and no old teams you have lying around will be accepted.

3. TOGS point system:

Fights: 

10 points for winning on your up-challenge against another TOGS warrior.
 7 points for winning on your even challenge of another TOGS warrior.
 7 points for winning on another TOGS warriors challenge.
 7 points for winning a random match-up against another TOGS warrior.
 4 points for winning on your down-challenge of another TOGS warrior.
 4 points for winning a random match-up against a non-TOGS warrior.

Changes this TOGS: 

** 10 points for any challenge by the DM, UP OR DOWN!!
** 4 points for winning a random match-up against your TOGS partner's warrior.
To state the obvious, there are 0 points if you challenge your partner.

** 4 points for winning a bloodfeud attempt against you by a non-TOGS warrior

You will not get any points if you challenge or get challenged by a non-TOGS team
(with the exception of the above-stated rule if you get bloodfeuded), so use your
avoids wisely if you think someone is out to get you.

Spots/Ads

5 points for every spotlight written by any team member.  1 per manager per turn.

The minimum length of a spotlight to receive points is 1/2 column in the newsletter
(that's 31 lines-each line 85 characters across) and we will be completely firm on
this.  In addition to the length criteria, spotlights will not be given points if
they are in any way plagiarized or if they are not Duelmasters or fantasy related.
We will be the sole judge of this.  If you're unsure if we will judge something to be
Duelmasters or fantasy related, then e-mail me before you write the spotlight and
ask.  We reserve the right to take points away from a spotlight after they are given
if we judge at later time that the spotlight has been plagiarized.

-5 points per manager per turn every time a manager does not at least write one
personal ad.

4.  TOGS VI will start in arena 60 shortly after the Winter Face-to-Face (turn due
Feb 21, Aradi turn 436) and as mentioned before will last for 13 turns.  There will
be multipliers in the later rounds, which means that all points accumulated by a team
on turns 10 and 11 will be multiplied by 1.5 and all points accumulated by each team
on turns 12 and 13 will be multiplied by 2.

5.  Soultaker and Nuln will be the sole arbiters of any dispute that may arise, with
props to Sentinel for doing the score-keeping as always.  Whine all you like, we will
be glad to provide comfortable chairs and the cheese of your choice.

And there be the rules.  If you look closely, you'll notice there were a few minor
changes and additions made from the TOGS V rules.  They are as follows:

-- The Snotman & Nuln rule:  Last TOGS Snotman and Nuln randomly matched up something
like 4-5 times, so we basically decided out of pity to now give a small amount of
points (4 in this case) for winning a random against a teammate, so that you're not
completely screwed by having 2 of your 10 warriors get 0 zero points automatically.

-- Scaling Down Points for the DM:  Previously a TOGS DM would get 10 points *in
addition* to whatever challenge points they got.  This was to keep the DM from being
penalized for being at the top and give people something to fight for.  However, it
was a bit too much of an award and we decided to scale it back and eliminate the
bonus, but give full upchallenge credit whenever the DM challenges.

-- Bloodfeuds from outside TOGS teams:  This incident came up last TOGS, and it was
felt that if a person killed a non-TOGS warrior in a random, they shouldn't have to
be potentially locked into 4 turns of getting 0 points.  So we've added an additional
rule which now gives 4 points if you win when bloodfeuded by a non-TOGS warrior, at
least giving you some way to get points if you're locked into a non-TOGS bloodfeud
instead of being basically removed from the contest for 4 turns.

And lastly...

-- Team Names:  This was not listed in the rules, but to make things more festive, at
the suggestion of Manager we have decided to have the added dimension of team names!
Yes, no more boring rankings with Team 4 edging out Team 7.  Just picture reading a
TOGS turn report now, with something along the lines of "Team Fiery Starfish
obliterated Team Superior TOGSlings," just as one example.

We hope to see you all there....

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ZIPPER was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GADGET was butchered by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
AN AVERAGE JOE savagely slew ARNIE SHEW in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
CHIP was assassinated by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
THE XFL was butchered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
RING RAT was savagely slain by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 4 minute Dark Arena match.
TWO was slaughtered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
ONE was executed by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
ANTI'S MECHANIC was assassinated by FIRST TOGS CHAMPION in a 1 minute melee.
CHIP was slaughtered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
BLACK WIDOW XLIII was outwaited by HOFFA in a crowd boring 14 minute Challenge fight.
PUSILLANIMOUS defeated SCORN BREAD in a exciting 5 minute Challenge fight.
MR. CLEAN was handily defeated by DEATH STUD in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
BEAST XVII demolished FLUMMAX in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
WREAK overcame FLOUR POWER in a 1 minute novice's Challenge contest.
TROTS was subdued by WHACK-A-STUD in a 2 minute novice's Challenge brawl.
MADONNA viciously subdued ANDROGENOUS STRAIN in a 1 minute veteran's Title conflict.
WRATH LIX devastated BULLY BOY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
YELLOW JACKET was overpowered by MR OBLIVIOUS in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
MACS was defeated by VIRGINAL GIGOLO in a exciting 1 minute veteran's bout.
TOWEL BOY was overpowered by DEW DROPS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
FISH STICKS was handily defeated by EDWARD KINGSLEY in a 1 minute competition.
ROLLDOZER overpowered CLARK KENT in a 1 minute uneven fight.
WEEPING WILLOW demolished LASSIE in a 1 minute gruesome uneven bout.
RAZOR XXV viciously subdued BOOGER in a 2 minute gory contest.
RYEHARD was outlasted by TREE STUMP in a dull 15 minute novice's fight.
THE BUNISHER savagely defeated THUNDER CLOUD in a 2 minute gory beginner's fight.
THE ERR MUTT was defeated by ROACH in a exciting 1 minute beginner's match.
STENCH was vanquished by LITTLE BIG DOG in a 1 minute one-sided fray.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         PARRY-LUNGE       10 -   8 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         LUNGING ATTACK    49 -  42 -  4      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     24 -  25 -  2      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         STRIKING ATTACK   68 -  81 -  4      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         AIMED BLOW        20 -  26 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         TOTAL PARRY       35 -  49 -  2      42  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  38 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  39 -  5      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-STRIKE      12 -  27 -  2      31  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  20 -  2       9  |

Turn 425 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  5         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  4         3  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              AIMED BLOW         0 -  4         2  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MADONNA 7780               23  15  2  120 THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)
STRIKING ATTACK  WRATH LIX 7899             10   3  0   99 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
SLASHING ATTACK  DEW DROPS 7944              8   2  1   55 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
TOTAL PARRY      BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868      7   2  1   46 DEATH STUDS XII (602)
PARRY-STRIKE     WEEPING WILLOW 8014         5   2  1   34 CHEER-O-KEE'S (557)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MADONNA 7780.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SCORN BREAD 8343.  The ten other most popular fighters were AN AVERAGE JOE 7281, 
MADONNA 7780, RAZOR XXV 8154, WHACK-A-STUD 8349, MR OBLIVIOUS 6413, THE BUNISHER 
8341, WEEPING WILLOW 8014, ROACH 8270, DEATH STUD 8211, and BEAST XVII 8303.

The least popular fighter this week was TREE STUMP 8156.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were HOFFA 7713, RYEHARD 8339, BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868, STENCH 8346, THUNDER 
CLOUD 8132, LASSIE 8194, CLARK KENT 8196, FISH STICKS 7952, TOWEL BOY 8265, and 
YELLOW JACKET 7627.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MADONNA (60-7780) THINGS ILL NEVER GET (601)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

RICKY J (60-7968) THE BUNKHOUSE (595)