DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/28/2007    Duedate: 01/10/2008

COLLUSION COVE ARENA

DM-60    TURN-432

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

ALLAN JOHNSON
TPW FOREVER (619)
(60-8232) [11-4-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ALLAN JOHNSON                  HANS GRUBER
TPW FOREVER (619)              VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
(60-8232) [11-4-0,108]         (60-7931) [5-1-0,60]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ERUPTION                       NOODLY APPENDIX
NATURAL DISASTERS (159)        PASTAFARIANS (630)
(60-7310) [12-10-1,86]         (60-8404) [3-1-0,17]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

PASTAFARIANS (630)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. TPW FOREVER (619)           41
2. NATURAL DISASTERS (159)     39      ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
3. HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)        39      Unchartered Team
4. DEATH STUDS XII (602)       36
5. RED DOG GANG (476)          30      PURE EVIL (629)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*PURE EVIL (629)           12   7  0 63.2   1/ 4*PASTAFARIANS (630)        9  6 0
 2/ 4*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)      24  15  2 61.5   2/ 1*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   8  5 1
 3/ 3 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)   118  81  7 59.3   3/ 6 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     8  7 1
 4/ 2 FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   14  10  6 58.3   4/ 7*HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)      8  7 0
 5/ 5 DEATH STUDS VII (301)    505 403 18 55.6   5/ 2*PURE EVIL (629)           8  7 0
 6/ 9*PASTAFARIANS (630)        11   9  0 55.0   6/ 3 UNDERDOGS (5)             7  8 0
 7/ 6 CRAZY CREEPS (207)       581 479 19 54.8   7/ 5 RED DOG GANG (476)        7  8 0
 8/ 0 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)  717 611 26 54.0   8/ 8*DREAMTIME (633)           6  8 0
 9/ 7 LUROCIANS VI (431)       115 100  8 53.5   9/11*CELTIC PRIDE (628)        6  9 1
10-10 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430) 219 198 13 52.5  10/12 DEATH STUDS VII (301)     5  4 2
11/12 UNDERDOGS (5)            277 272 15 50.5  11/10 LUROCIANS VI (431)        5 10 1
12/ 8*VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)   15  15  1 50.0  12/ 9 ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)    4  2 1
13/ 0 TPW FOREVER (619)         21  22  3 48.8  13/18 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  4  2 0
14/ 0 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       85  92  2 48.0  14/16 FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)   4  4 0
15/15 4000 BLOWS (107)         684 760 31 47.4  15/ 0 TPW FOREVER (619)         3  0 0
16/14 DEATH STUDS XII (602)     35  39  5 47.3  16/ 0 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)   3  1 0
17/17 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    80  99  2 44.7  17/13 RESCUE RANGERS (362)      3  5 1
18/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  35  44  1 44.3  18/14*THE EYES HAVE IT (632)    3  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/21*DREAMTIME (633)            8  11  0 42.1  19/17 CRAZY CREEPS (207)        2  2 0
20/19 FUNKY FOLK (565)          62  92  7 40.3  20/15*LA BOULANGE (626)         2  3 0
21/ 0 CREEPSTERESE (606)        14  21  3 40.0  21/20 4000 BLOWS (107)          2  7 0
22/18*THE EYES HAVE IT (632)     4   6  0 40.0  22/19 FUNKY FOLK (565)          2  9 1
23/13*LA BOULANGE (626)          2   3  0 40.0  23-23 DEMONS OF DARKNESS (430)  1  1 0
24/22 BUGS, SLUGS & THUG (591)  76 117  6 39.4  24/ 0 SUPERIOR FORCES 16 (586)  1  2 0
25/23 RED DOG GANG (476)       373 610  5 37.9  25/25*ELFEN LIED (623)          1  2 0
26/24 RESCUE RANGERS (362)      17  29  2 37.0  26/ 0 CREEPSTERESE (606)        1  3 0
27/20*CELTIC PRIDE (628)         9  16  1 36.0  27/21*RUSH REBORN (627)         0  9 0
28/25*RUSH REBORN (627)          4  18  2 18.2  28/24 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)    0  8 0
29-26*VISIONIST INC (259)        1   5  1 16.7  29/ 0 THE BUNKHOUSE (595)       0  1 0
30/27*ELFEN LIED (623)           1  12  0  7.7  30/ 0*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)   0  1 0
31/ 0*GENX PERFECT HITS (620)    0   4  0  0.0  31-26*VISIONIST INC (259)       0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 290): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): DIRK DARKBLADE of IMMORTALS (Dartor, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 582): SCRUFF of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 575): JACKSON of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 572): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 571): FLEX of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): PIKE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 564): NULN of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 534): TRIANGLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 525): FORANDIN of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): MICK JAGGER of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 238): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 418): NO WAY! of SUPERIOR FORCES 5405 (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 192): OBSESSION of SCENT OF A WOMAN (The Sentinel, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 468): LUCIAS CLAY of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 290): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 582): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 575): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 572): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 571): AMAZONS (?, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 564): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 534): LETHAL LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 525): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 238): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 417): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 192): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 468): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): JACKHAMMER of NEVERWAKE (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): PIKE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 563): DR TRINAIRE of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 524): VALGARD of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): JUANITA of FANIDLS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 237): SHY ANN of SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 417): LENALGIRE of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 191): AIKEN of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in COLLUSION COVE!  I still haven't told Mom I'm 
writing Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Too bad, VILLAINOUS 
LEGION, but PASTAFARIANS was just too good to be stopped.  I don't wanna hurt 
anybody's feelings or anything, but RUSH REBORN really goofed with their 0-4-0.  The 
guys at BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS like really pulled together to get a 2-0-0 this turn, 
moving up by 5.  One team deserves special mention 'cause they moved up 3 after going 
4-1-0.  Keep it up, HOUSE OF GRAIN!  MVP award for DEATH STUD?  DEATH STUDS XII's 
proud of him after beating PESMERGA and getting 21 points.  Talk about yer big time 
losers!  PESMERGA got smashed by DEATH STUD, and lost 20 points!  What a putz!  LOKI 
IX fights so hard to be Duelmaster, then quits fighting and loses the title.  No one 
said he was a genius...  And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit 
of...(!)  Oh well, welcome ALLAN JOHNSON.  Aren't TPW FOREVER proud.  (Oh, my.) Who 
was the wiseguy that said COLLUSION COVE's Duelmaster was paying for drinks at The 
Blind Cyclops Inn?  Don't look at me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  The warriors of PURE EVIL must be getting lonely.  They were the 
most avoided team.  Do you guys know something that I don't?  Hhmph!  What kind of 
warriors are PASTAFARIANS?  PURE EVIL, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't 
get them to accept an invitation!  Like, is HANS GRUBER popular, or what?  He was 
challenged the most in all of COLLUSION COVE!  He's got a 5-1-0, is that good?  RAZOR 
XXV must not be a good enough fighter to get in fair fights.  It TV challenged HANS 
GRUBER.  8 is a big difference.  (Well, that's what they tell me.) I thought RAZOR 
XXV showed great skill and promise when it lost to HANS GRUBER.  All right, so I 
slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All COLLUSION COVE ever talks about is 
fighting!  Me, I'm more laid back.  It was kind of sad, seeing old THE ERR MUTT 
stumbling around the arena, before GALWAY finished him off.  Oh well!  BLACK WIDOW 
XLIII really fought hard against MYSTIQUE.  That'll teach VILLAINOUS LEGION not to go 
and kill any of DEATH STUDS XII's guys again, huh!  WARM PIRATE bloodfeuded (is that 
a word?) JEN ASIDE for revenge over some guy's bad fortune.  Was it really worth it?  
What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really 
should stop.  I had a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ALLAN JOHNSON 8232           11   4  0   108       TPW FOREVER (619)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LOKI IX 7860                  9   3  1   126       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-TYVEK 7478                    9   7  0   108       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
-THE AVENGING SCROD 7649      20  12  1   105       4000 BLOWS (107)
-WRATH LIX 7899               10   3  0    99       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
-WEEZY DANG 7909               9   7  0    98       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
-JACK THE RIPPER 7487         20  14  0    96       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-THE RIDDLER 7852             12   8  2    95       CRAZY CREEPS (207)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOFFA 7713                   18  26  0    90       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-WHITE WITCH 7542             21  15  0    89       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
-AIMLESS 7967                 13   7  0    88       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 PAULINE 4997                 11   6  0    87       UNDERDOGS (5)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ERUPTION 7310                12  10  1    86       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
-SUNSHINE 7593                 9   7  0    86       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
 FLASH FIRE 7390              15  11  0    83       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 YELLOW JACKET 7627           14  36  1    82       BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (591)
-VENREK 7477                  14   5  0    81       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 LAVA TUBE 7393               12   7  1    81       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259         9   2  0    75       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 LLUGS AND LLISSES 5887       13  14  1    72       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 LLUCKY DAY 6021              11  10  1    72       LUROCIANS VI (431)
-911 7936                      9   7  0    68       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LLUPERIOR LLORCES 5956       12   8  1    65       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 HENDRICK 5022                11   5  0    65       UNDERDOGS (5)
 BLACK WIDOW XLIII 7868        9   4  1    63       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
 HANS GRUBER 7931              5   1  0    60       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 DEATH STUD 8211               7   4  1    58       DEATH STUDS XII (602)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PUSILLANIMOUS 8192            6   0  0    55       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 MYSTIQUE 7932                 5   2  1    55       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-EDWARD KINGSLEY 8330          4   0  1    55       TPW FOREVER (619)
-GAZREK 7858                   7   4  0    53       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 BURNT OFFERINGS 8054          6   4  1    46       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 LIMPY LIMPY 7046              5   5  0    46       LUROCIANS VI (431)
 TOWEL BOY 8265                3   1  1    46       TPW FOREVER (619)
 TWIG 8096                     3   1  1    46       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 RAZOR XXV 8154                6   4  0    42       DEATH STUDS XII (602)
-ODALISQUE 8121                3   0  2    41       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 LITTLE BIG DOG 8355           6   3  0    40       RED DOG GANG (476)
 FLUMMAX 8193                  6  11  0    40       RED DOG GANG (476)
 THE BUNISHER 8341             7   1  1    39       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-ZOMBIELUST 8181               5   0  0    39       4000 BLOWS (107)
 PESMERGA 7813                 5   7  0    39       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
-CLARK KENT 8196               7   3  0    38       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 BAI 8386                      5   1  0    38       UNDERDOGS (5)
 SCORN BREAD 8343              5   3  0    36       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-I OWN INDIMAR 8084            4   6  0    36       4000 BLOWS (107)
 TAXMAN 8397                   4   0  0    35       PURE EVIL (629)
 LASSIE 8194                   5  12  0    34       RED DOG GANG (476)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRANZ 5021                    8   8  1    33       UNDERDOGS (5)
-GOUHL 2885                    1   0  1    33       VISIONIST INC (259)
 PAUL BEARER 8082              2   2  0    32       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 PLUM 8094                     2   2  1    31       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 SETH DRAVEN 8231              3   1  1    30       TPW FOREVER (619)
 PEACH FUZZ 8095               3   3  1    27       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
-STITCHES 8245                 2   4  0    27       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 RYEHARD 8339                  5   3  1    25       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-RED WINTER 8304               2   1  0    25       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
 HOWLER XIII 8302              3   0  1    24       DEATH STUDS VII (301)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KELLY FABULOUS 8221           4   3  0    23       THE BUNKHOUSE (595)
 VENGANZA 8408                 3   1  0    23       PASTAFARIANS (630)
 MR. CLEAN 8307                3   5  1    22       CRAZY CREEPS (207)
 SHRIVELLED PRUNE 8177         2   1  0    22       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 CHALLAH POINT 8389            2   2  0    21       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
 OVERTIME 8394                 4   0  0    20       PURE EVIL (629)
 WARM PIRATE 8407              3   1  0    20       PASTAFARIANS (630)
 WATER SPOUT 8013              2   0  0    20       NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
 GALWAY 8372                   1   4  1    20       CELTIC PRIDE (628)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-YOBANGER 8059                 2   3  0    19       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 AN AVERAGE JOE 7281           2   5  1    18       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
 NOODLY APPENDIX 8404          3   1  0    17       PASTAFARIANS (630)
 BEAST XVII 8303               2   3  0    17       DEATH STUDS VII (301)
 VIKI 8261                     1   0  0    17       SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (586)
 CARROT TOP 8398               3   1  0    16       PURE EVIL (629)
 CORK 8373                     3   2  0    16       CELTIC PRIDE (628)
 OSWALD 8385                   2   4  0    16       UNDERDOGS (5)
 CHONDROMALACIA 8432           2   1  0    16       ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (518)
 SKI DOOSKI 8284               2   0  1    15       CREEPSTERESE (606)
 JEN ASIDE 8439                1   2  1    14       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 EDIE 8429                     1   3  0    14       DREAMTIME (633)
 STAR 8427                     4   0  0    13       DREAMTIME (633)
 PRIVATE EYE 8425              3   1  0    13       THE EYES HAVE IT (632)
-RAMBO 8382                    1   0  0    12       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
 MICKEY FINN 8442              1   2  0    12       CELTIC PRIDE (628)
-DONALD 8380                   1   0  0    11       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
-L'APPRENTI 8351               1   0  0    11       LA BOULANGE (626)
 YUKA 8344                     1   1  0    11       ELFEN LIED (623)
 SANDMAN 8441                  2   1  0    10       VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
-GOOFY 8379                    1   1  1    10       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
 NAAN VIOLENT 8433             1   2  0    10       HOUSE OF GRAIN (625)
-COCO NUTS 8163                1   0  0    10       FRUIT OF THE LOOM (615)
 SHANNON 8375                  2   3  0     9       CELTIC PRIDE (628)
 SPIRITWALKER 8431             2   2  0     8       DREAMTIME (633)
 LIMELIGHT 8365                1   4  1     8       RUSH REBORN (627)
 PEEPS 8396                    1   3  0     8       PURE EVIL (629)
-VENGRAZ 8018                  1   1  0     8       DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (430)
 LE FOURNER 8354               1   1  0     8       LA BOULANGE (626)
 LIMRICK 8376                  1   4  0     7       CELTIC PRIDE (628)
 TOM SAWYER 8369               1   4  0     7       RUSH REBORN (627)
-CHUCK NORRIS 8381             0   1  0     7       RESCUE RANGERS (362)
 EARTHSHINE 8392               1   2  1     6       RUSH REBORN (627)
 NYSTERIOUS WAYS 8464          1   0  0     6       PASTAFARIANS (630)
 WILD FLOWER 8443              1   2  0     5       DREAMTIME (633)
-BOY GEORGE 8378               1   2  0     5       CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (579)
 EYE SPY 8421                  1   1  0     4       THE EYES HAVE IT (632)
 VAPOR TRAIL 8393              0   3  0     3       RUSH REBORN (627)
 THE EX 8436                   0   3  0     3       PURE EVIL (629)
 CURT SHIFF 8479               0   1  0     1       FUNKY FOLK (565)
 BB BULLY BOY 8477             0   1  0     1       RED DOG GANG (476)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
NA NOOF 8467            0  1 0 4000 BLOWS 107       MONSTER MANALGER      432  NONE
SHNAY 8466              0  1 0 4000 BLOWS 107       JORGE BLACK ORC       432  NONE
DUBLIN 8374             1  1 0 CELTIC PRIDE 628     EARTHSHINE 8392       429   
ONE 8476                0  1 0 CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 579 JORGE BLACK ORC       432  NONE
BADDA BADDA BINK 7948   0  1 0 CREEPSTERESE 606     ARNIE SHEW            432  NONE
SKIDDILY BEE 8360       0  1 0 CREEPSTERESE 606     JORGE BLACK ORC       432  NONE
SNICKERTY SNACK 8332    0  1 0 CREEPSTERESE 606     SPYMASTER             432  NONE
GRUNT VI 7980           7  7 2 DEATH STUDS XII 602  MYSTIQUE 7932         431  JUST REVENGED
LUROCIAN DEMONS 8469    0  1 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602  JORGE BLACK ORC       432  NONE
SENSITIVE SUBJEC 8470   0  1 0 DEATH STUDS XII 602  SEA MONSTER           432  NONE
THE WITCH 8428          0  2 0 DREAMTIME 633        HOWLER XIII 8302      430   
BUZZ SAWYER 8456        0  2 0 FUNKY FOLK 565       ARNIE SHEW            432  NONE
100 PUNKS 8250          0  1 0 GENX PERFECT HIT 620 MONSTER MANALGER      432  NONE
ROLLDOZER 8342          3  2 0 HOUSE OF GRAIN 625   ODALISQUE 8121        429   
LLAPPY LLILMORE 7133    3  7 0 LUROCIANS VI 431     ARENAMASTER HARK      432  NONE
SNOTBALL 8463           0  1 0 PASTAFARIANS 630     ARENAMASTER HARK      432  NONE
SPAG. MONSTER 8406      1  2 0 PASTAFARIANS 630     JEN ASIDE 8439        431  JUST REVENGED
WWFSMD 8405             0  3 0 PASTAFARIANS 630     GOOFY 8379            431   

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BULLY BOY 7447         20 21 0 RED DOG GANG 476     LOKI IX 7860          431   
THE ERR MUTT 8322       2  9 0 RED DOG GANG 476     GALWAY 8372           432   
RED BARCHETTA 8366      1  3 0 RUSH REBORN 627      ODALISQUE 8121        430   
GENOH 7847              4  5 0 SUPERIOR FORCES  586 ARNIE SHEW            432  NONE
DEAD DUDE 8462          0  1 0 THE BUNKHOUSE 595    MONSTER MANALGER      432  NONE
NOSE PICKER 8465        0  1 0 THE EYES HAVE IT 632 GARGOYLE PRINCE       432  NONE
WASTE 8478              0  1 0 VILLAINOUS LEGIO 605 JORGE BLACK ORC       432  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

What!!!!!!  The Taxman!  I refuse to pay taxes!  I do!  So now the government just
beats me up for it?!  Must be a FONZ intervention? -- Mr. Clean

Loki IX -- We would like to look up to the Duelmaster, but you know how it is with
the Stud's team.  He surely is not going to allow anyone on the team larger than the
SZ 1 manager.  Sorry. -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

Bully Boy -- You are sooooo right!  The real Fonz IS OK.  A really cool guy and all.
But the FONZ?????? -- The Crazy Creeps Scribe

FONZ = Freaking Onerous Nobodies Zeroed
     All the Anti-FONZ voters

Celtic Pride -- I wasn't paying any attention to the rankings at the time.  I should
have matched Venganza against a more worthy opponent.  My apologies to Galway. --
General Ironcide (current nom de guerre of the manager of Pastafarians)

Goofy -- Thanks for saving me a trip to the Dark Arena with WWFSMD. -- General
Ironcide

Which way to the arena?  Uhh, right through here, Snotball.

An Average Joe -- (floundering around and stepping on his opponent a couple of times)
Oh.  I thought you wanted to play.  I love it when people want to play.  Throw the
ball, tug-of-war with the stick, all that good stuff.  But you just staggered around
and said bad words very loudly.  That kind of thing makes me nervous, you know?  In
case I did something wrong and didn't realize it.  I do try to do the right thing,
but sometimes people are just incomprehensible.  It's hard, being a dog. -- Flummax

Venganza -- Ah, pasta!  With meat, I hope, but cheese will do.  Even olive oil.  Good
greasy stuff, though, that's the key.  And lots of it!  A dog (a real dog with a real
snout) should be able to stick her nose down into the dish, biting and snorting and
shaking her head and make a wonderful mess, you know? -- Lassie, pasta fan
P.S.  Forget the tomatoes, though.  They add nothing of value to a dish of pasta.

Loki Ix -- That was...a very strange experience.  Not what I expected.  Sure, death
comes to all dogs, but usually while chasing carriages down the road, dashing into
burning buildings to rescue golden-haired tots, or eating too much too fast.  I
wasn't ready for this, but I guess I have to accept it anyway, don't I?  And the good
news is, I'm coming back as a really BIG dog.  There are some dogs around Aradi--
well, maybe there aren't, with TOGS so near, but there used to be, who will be
SHOCKED when I approach them in my new carnation. -- Ghost of Bully Boy

Mickey Finn -- I heard you're one of those guys that always plays tricks on people,
like giving them a fried egg (very good, fried eggs) that's actually made out of
rubber, or something to drink that also isn't what they think it is.  Well, what *I*
think is, I think someone should hit you on the ear with a stone hand-axe, okay? --
The Err Mutt

Shannon -- I don't know why it is, but girls just don't seem to understand about some
dog things.  I mean, they get all red in the face and make strange sounds when a dog
catches up on the old health-and-hormones bit, and then, they can't throw a ball to
save their lives, mostly.  Good thing they aren't trying to throw wasp grenades! --
Little Big Dog
P.S.  But girls are really good about petting and brushing and stuff, so I guess it
balances.

Clark Kent -- Well, someone should introduce you to your own strength.  You should
smell it all around, lick it a couple of times, and get to KNOW it. -- Little Big Dog

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

LLAPPY LLILMORE was butchered by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
GENOH was slaughtered by ARNIE SHEW in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
BUZZ SAWYER was killed by ARNIE SHEW in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
BADDA BADDA BINKY was butchered by ARNIE SHEW in a 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
ONE was assassinated by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
NOSE PICKER was murdered by GARGOYLE PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena competition.
SKIDDILY BEE was slaughtered by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SNICKERTY SNACK was executed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
NA NOOF was assassinated by MONSTER MANALGER in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena melee.
100 PUNKS was slaughtered by MONSTER MANALGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DEAD DUDE was slaughtered by MONSTER MANALGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SNOTBALL was assassinated by ARENAMASTER HARKON in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LUROCIAN DEMONS was executed by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
SHNAY was assassinated by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena match.
SENSITIVE SUBJECT was butchered by SEA MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena conflict.
WASTE was murdered by JORGE BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
BLACK WIDOW XLIII beat MYSTIQUE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Bloodfeud conflict.
WARM PIRATE defeated JEN ASIDE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute novice's Bloodfeud duel.
WILD FLOWER was viciously subdued by HOWLER XIII in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fray.
RAZOR XXV was devastated by HANS GRUBER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
RETRIBUTION XXIX was beaten by HOFFA in a 5 minute brutal veteran's Challenge match.
LLUCKY DAY was savagely defeated by YELLOW JACKET in a 2 minute Challenge fight.
PAUL BEARER was devastated by TWIG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
HENDRICK vanquished LIMPY LIMPY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
TAXMAN overcame FRANZ in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
PEACH FUZZ was handily defeated by SCORN BREAD in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
CORK was demolished by FLUMMAX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SHRIVELLED PRUNE won victory over SANDMAN in a 3 minute Challenge match.
OVERTIME luckily beat BEAST XVII in a popular 3 minute gory Challenge duel.
SHANNON was demolished by MR. CLEAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
EYE SPY was unbelievably bested by YUKA in a 3 minute novice's Challenge fray.
MICKEY FINN was handily defeated by BAI in a 1 minute gory one-sided Challenge duel.
CHONDROMALACIA overpowered LIMRICK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
VAPOR TRAIL was overpowered by EDIE in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PRIVATE EYE defeated PEEPS in a popular 6 minute novice's Challenge bout.
GALWAY easily killed THE ERR MUTT in a 1 minute gruesome mismatched Challenge match.
ALLAN JOHNSON overpowered PAULINE in a 1 minute one-sided Title struggle.
ERUPTION was subdued by KHALHUMS DWARF in a action packed 4 minute veteran's struggle.
LLUPERIOR LLORCES was demolished by LAVA TUBE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
LLUGS AND LLISSES was demolished by FLASH FIRE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BURNT OFFERINGS was beaten by THE HONEST MERCHANT in a 2 minute duel.
PESMERGA was overpowered by DEATH STUD in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
VENGANZA was handily defeated by TOWEL BOY in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
LITTLE BIG DOG savagely defeated PLUM in a action packed 3 minute gruesome battle.
THE BUNISHER devastated AN AVERAGE JOE in a action packed 1 minute mismatched match.
RYEHARD was viciously subdued by LASSIE in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brutal fight.
CHALLAH POINT handily defeated LE FOURNER in a 1 minute mismatched melee.
OSWALD was demolished by SETH DRAVEN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
WATER SPOUT demolished THE EX in a popular 1 minute uneven fight.
EARTHSHINE was overpowered by VIKI in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
STAR outwaited LIMELIGHT in a unpopular 15 minute novice's match.
SPIRITWALKER was beaten by SKI DOOSKI in a popular 3 minute novice's battle.
NOODLY APPENDIX savagely defeated CURT SHIFF in a 5 minute amateur's conflict.
NAAN VIOLENT bested TOM SAWYER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute novice's battle.
CARROT TOP defeated DWAYNE THE DOG in a 2 minute novice's brawl.
BB BULLY BOY was subdued by NYSTERIOUS WAYS in a 1 minute amateur's contest.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 22         TOTAL PARRY       47 -  34 -  3      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  16         LUNGING ATTACK    48 -  46 -  3      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         STRIKING ATTACK   82 -  83 -  6      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  13         AIMED BLOW        10 -  15 -  1      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     6         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  21 -  2      38  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  36 -  2      38  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         BASHING ATTACK    27 -  51 -  3      35  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  20 -  1      33  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-LUNGE        1 -   7 -  0      13  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  18 -  0       5  |

Turn 432 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK   10 - 12         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        8 -  7     LUNGING ATTACK     6 - 10         3  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                              WALL OF STEEL      2 -  4         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              BASHING ATTACK     3 - 10     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  ALLAN JOHNSON 8232         11   4  0  108 TPW FOREVER (619)
LUNGING ATTACK   ERUPTION 7310              12  10  1   86 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
PARRY-LUNGE      FLASH FIRE 7390            15  11  0   83 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
PARRY-STRIKE     LAVA TUBE 7393             12   7  1   81 NATURAL DISASTERS (159)
TOTAL PARRY      RETRIBUTION XXIX 8259       9   2  0   75 DEATH STUDS VII (301)
SLASHING ATTACK  LLUPERIOR LLORCES 5956     12   8  1   65 LUROCIANS VI (431)
WALL OF STEEL    MYSTIQUE 7932               5   2  1   55 VILLAINOUS LEGION (605)
AIMED BLOW       TOWEL BOY 8265              3   1  1   46 TPW FOREVER (619)
BASHING ATTACK   LITTLE BIG DOG 8355         6   3  0   40 RED DOG GANG (476)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ERUPTION 7310.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was NOODLY APPENDIX 8404.  The ten other most popular fighters were PEEPS 8396, 
ERUPTION 7310, LITTLE BIG DOG 8355, EYE SPY 8421, LASSIE 8194, MYSTIQUE 7932, JEN 
ASIDE 8439, BEAST XVII 8303, SPIRITWALKER 8431, and HOWLER XIII 8302.

The least popular fighter this week was STAR 8427.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LIMELIGHT 8365, BB BULLY BOY 8477, OSWALD 8385, LE FOURNER 8354, 
VENGANZA 8408, PESMERGA 7813, LLUGS AND LLISSES 5887, LLUPERIOR LLORCES 5956, PAULINE 
4997, and PRIVATE EYE 8425.