DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 02/09/2018 Duedate: 02/22/2018
ARADI ARENA
DM-60 TURN-691
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
HUSH
UNNAMEABLES (91)
(60-9161) [25-24-1,100]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
HUSH LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO
UNNAMEABLES (91) THE DEVILS PAIN (686)
(60-9161) [25-24-1,100] (60-9199) [5-2-0,64]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
HUSH HUSH
UNNAMEABLES (91) UNNAMEABLES (91)
(60-9161) [25-24-1,100] (60-9161) [25-24-1,100]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
UNNAMEABLES (91)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. UNNAMEABLES (91) 21
2. FAVORITE SAYINGS (673) 13 UNNAMEABLES (91)
3. THE DEVILS PAIN (686) 11 Unchartered Team
4. TRIANGULUM (684) 7
5. BUMS 'R' US (465) 5 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1*FAVORITE SAYINGS (673) 12 2 0 85.7 1/ 1 UNNAMEABLES (91) 6 3 0
2/ 3*THE DEVILS PAIN (686) 5 2 0 71.4 2/ 2*FAVORITE SAYINGS (673) 4 1 0
3- 2*WEIRD STUDENTS (681) 22 9 0 71.0 3- 3*WEIRD STUDENTS (681) 2 2 0
4/ 4 UNNAMEABLES (91) 314 271 12 53.7 4/ 5*THE DEVILS PAIN (686) 1 1 0
5/ 0 ELFEN LIED (623) 17 20 1 45.9 5/ 0 ELFEN LIED (623) 1 1 0
6/ 0 BUMS 'R' US (465) 150 206 2 42.1 6/ 4 TRIANGULUM (684) 1 5 0
7/ 5 TRIANGULUM (684) 22 33 0 40.0 7/ 0 BUMS 'R' US (465) 0 1 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
SPY REPORT
Welcome ARADI. I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well. Many the fights have I
fought here. The celebrations, the disappointments... What's with INAUDIBLE? He
actually beat ARADI's TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE, and walked away with 21 more points from
the fight. Major screwup at UNNAMEABLES. HIRE WATHA lost 11 points to KHALHUMS
DWARF. Some new strategies, perhaps? Maybe HIRE WATHA will provide more easy
wins... Try as he might, DELTA TRIANGULI wasn't good enough at persuading HUSH to
step down from the Duelmaster's throne... Wouldn't it be nice to have live subjects
to practice on? I hear some team is looking into the uses of convicted prisoners.
If at first you don't succeed, avoid. That'll get you in the Spyreports. ARADI
thinks FAVORITE SAYINGS and their 12-2-0 is too much! If at first you don't succeed,
give up... In my day, no team with a 10-1-0 would scare me off! What's the problem,
THE DEVILS PAIN?
Warriors of ARADI unite. You have only your games to lose! How long have I
been here? I got people to see, places to go...
Who knows what the future holds for a warrior. More fights, there's no doubt.
ARADI is a nice place to live, but I don't like to live in nice places. I don't want
to overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
HUSH 9161 25 24 1 100 UNNAMEABLES (91)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
HIRE WATHA 9218 19 8 0 90 UNNAMEABLES (91)
-INSISTANT BEGGAR 6630 14 19 0 79 BUMS 'R' US (465)
DELTA TRIANGULI 9180 10 18 0 73 TRIANGULUM (684)
NANA 8361 6 0 0 69 ELFEN LIED (623)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-SPED 6803 10 13 0 64 BUMS 'R' US (465)
TRUST FUND BABY 6951 7 17 2 64 BUMS 'R' US (465)
LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO 9199 5 2 0 64 THE DEVILS PAIN (686)
-INSANE IVAN 9086 5 1 0 59 WEIRD STUDENTS (681)
HANDS ON 9006 4 0 0 58 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
DREAM 9010 5 0 0 49 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
-NYU 8290 4 1 0 47 ELFEN LIED (623)
-ANGRY NAKED MAN 7238 5 5 0 46 BUMS 'R' US (465)
GAMMA TRIANGULI 9179 10 14 0 44 TRIANGULUM (684)
-HOPELESS HARRY 9088 6 2 0 38 WEIRD STUDENTS (681)
LUCY 8454 4 2 1 35 ELFEN LIED (623)
FULL MONTY 9007 3 2 0 35 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-NICE NED 9097 4 4 0 33 WEIRD STUDENTS (681)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
INAUDIBLE 9236 1 0 0 21 UNNAMEABLES (91)
-DEVILISH DEMON 9188 1 0 0 16 WEIRD STUDENTS (681)
-EPSILON TRIANGULI 9181 2 1 0 10 TRIANGULUM (684)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
DAPS 9242 0 1 0 UNNAMEABLES 91 SPYMASTER 691 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
DAPS was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
DREAM viciously subdued GAMMA TRIANGULI in a 2 minute brutal Challenge duel.
HUSH slimly won victory over DELTA TRIANGULI in a 6 minute veteran's Title match.
HIRE WATHA was bested by KHALHUMS DWARF in a exciting 3 minute veteran's fight.
TRUST FUND BABY was devastated by NANA in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
LUCY was overpowered by HANDS ON in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided struggle.
FULL MONTY was overpowered by LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO in a 4 minute uneven melee.
INAUDIBLE vanquished TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL 3 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 0 - 1 100 |
|AIMED BLOW 2 AIMED BLOW 6 - 1 - 0 86 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 LUNGING ATTACK 8 - 4 - 0 67 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 TOTAL PARRY 3 - 2 - 0 60 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 1 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 8 - 0 58 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 6 - 6 - 0 50 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 1 BASHING ATTACK 3 - 8 - 0 27 |
|BASHING ATTACK 1 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 3 - 0 25 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 - 0 0 |
|TOTAL PARRY 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 - 0 0 |
Turn 691 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 2 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 2 STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE
STRIKING ATTACK 2 - 0 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 1 2 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 1 BASHING ATTACK 0 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 0 - 0 1 TOTAL PARRY
WALL OF STEEL 0 - 3 1 BASHING ATTACK
1 WALL OF STEEL
1 SLASHING ATTACK
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
STRIKING ATTACK HUSH 9161 25 24 1 100 UNNAMEABLES (91)
LUNGING ATTACK HIRE WATHA 9218 19 8 0 90 UNNAMEABLES (91)
PARRY-RIPOSTE LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO 9199 5 2 0 64 THE DEVILS PAIN (686)
SLASHING ATTACK HANDS ON 9006 4 0 0 58 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
AIMED BLOW DREAM 9010 5 0 0 49 FAVORITE SAYINGS (673)
WALL OF STEEL LUCY 8454 4 2 1 35 ELFEN LIED (623)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is HUSH 9161. The most popular warrior this turn was
HUSH 9161. The ten other most popular fighters were HIRE WATHA 9218, DELTA TRIANGULI
9180, LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO 9199, DREAM 9010, HANDS ON 9006, NANA 8361, INAUDIBLE 9236,
GAMMA TRIANGULI 9179, LUCY 8454, and FULL MONTY 9007.
The least popular fighter this week was TRUST FUND BABY 6951. The other ten least
popular fighters were DAPS 9242, FULL MONTY 9007, LUCY 8454, GAMMA TRIANGULI 9179,
INAUDIBLE 9236, NANA 8361, HANDS ON 9006, DREAM 9010, LUCIFER'S LUMBAGO 9199, and
DELTA TRIANGULI 9180.
Mission to the Twisted Lands
Episode One
Old Brown could run pretty fast if properly motivated, but mostly he walked with
a long-legged, distance-devouring stride. He was a huge horse, a half-giant's
warhorse, shaggy and self-assured, with muscles like half-buried boulders in his
shoulders and hips. Lounging in the saddle was the motivating force, the half-giant,
Keel Woodhaven. Although in his mind he was slouching and half-asleep, he sat up
straight in the saddle since that is more comfortable for riding.
It was twilight, stars coming out above and lights in farmhouse windows below.
They traveled through vineyards, brown and fallow now in the winter, descending gently
toward the tree-crowded coast. The distant trees, not just pines, were green. They
stayed green because the marsh that surrounded the city-state of Bonsur had hot
springs in it.
Keel Woodhaven had always liked Bonsur. It had a relaxed feel about it, the
women seemed prettier, the music was great, everyone thought about having fun. And
the booze was excellent, of course. He passed the arena at the edge of town, and
paused to read the current statistics, posted on the gate and lit by a lantern. So,
an elven cobbler was the Duelmaster? Why would a shoemaker take up such a painful
profession? Then he noticed the team name: Shewish Picnic. He snorted. That
explained it, all right. As a half-Shew, he was kind of bothered by that team theme,
which was present in Home Guard as well. It was sort of funny though. He saw that
Elf Cobbler was headed for the Isle. Probably not bound for Home Guard just yet,
though.
They passed a small chicken ranch. A rooster uttered an untimely crow. At about
that time, Old Brown took exception to something and bolted. Cussing, Keel hauled on
the reins, to little effect since the horse was stronger than him and apparently
frightened. He didn't see the masked men coming out of their hiding places behind
him, looking frustrated. At least not until a crossbow bolt thunked into the backside
of his leather cuirass. His horse screamed and ran faster.
Hauling Old Brown to the left as they passed a set of big open gates into a well-
lighted courtyard, Keel got them behind the shelter of the high stone wall, and patted
the horse's sweaty neck. "You're okay now, friend. I'll go take care of those
bozos."
As he dismounted, he noticed he was becoming surrounded by uniformed men, some
with swords and some with halberds.
"Howdy?" he said, hoping they were friendly.
"Your horse has been shot," said someone, pointing at a bolt sticking out of Old
Brown's butt.
"Well damn!" Keel laid a comforting hand on the horse's flank, which quivered.
"So have you," the guard continued.
"Yeah, thought so. Doesn't feel like it got through the armor though." Keel
tried to look over his shoulder, but could only see the feathered end of the bolt.
"Who are you guys?"
"We are the Queen's Guard."
"What? Queen Gemra? Okay, please take care of Old Brown here, and I'll go find
the ***holes that shot him."
"Sir, you are mistaken. You will be taken to a doctor. We will arrest the
assailants."
"Hey! I'm on a mission from Sheila Greywand. Anyway, they shot my horse. My
HORSE! I'm gonna get 'em." Unslinging his huge sword, Keel strode toward the gate.
Four Guardsmen came with him, flanking him like the trailing ends of a flock of
geese. They might have intended a different formation, but he had the longest legs
and walked the fastest. The one who'd spoken to him before said, "I'm Corporal Brat
Langerman. And you are?"
"Keel Woodhaven."
"I've heard of you! The Queen will want to meet you."
"That's fine. Let's stick to the sides of these buildings. If they're still
around, we'll be targets in the middle of the street."
They weren't quiet, exactly, since the guards wore highly polished chain mail
which jingled. However, Bonsur had a lively night life. Music and laughter came from
bars and nightclubs on adjacent streets, people lingered on corners chatting and
sometimes playing instruments, and children hawked newssheets, shoeshines, flowers, a
selection of rouges, and offered to carry packages. So the sounds the guards made
weren't too noticeable.
Keel led the way back to the chicken ranch. He was thinking that the bad guys
wouldn't have waited around to be hunted. They might have left clues, though.
Perhaps even a discarded, crumpled note offering a cash reward for his head, and
signed by a notorious crimelord. Or distinctive cigar stubs, monogrammed hankies...
personalized masks. Tracks of boots made by elven cobblers. Anything. Witnesses,
even.
There were no people on the street near the chicken ranch. It was full night
now, a bit chilly although there was a warm and slightly funky breeze from the marsh.
Corporal Brat Langerman said quietly, "Is this where it happened?"
"Yup."
"Well, I don't think they're here anymore."
Keel was about to agree, when a crossbow bolt appeared in the Corporal's arm.
The young man hissed, "Everybody down!"
The guardsmen hunkered against the wall of a hardware store, which didn't offer
anything resembling good cover except that they were in shadow there. Keel crouched a
little, but he knew he was a pretty big target, plus his sword gave off a faint
greenish glow. He looked around, searching the darkness for signs of their foes.
A shadow on top of a shaded walkway across the street shifted a little. Keel
pulled a weighted dart out of his pocket and hurled it. He was good at tavern darts,
but it was dark, the distance was too great, and he just wasn't lucky. The little
missile clattered against the shingles of the porch roof. There was a startled twitch
from the half-seen form. At that instant, Keel lunged across the street. His long
legs carried him across to the opposite shadows in three bounds. More bolts came out
of the darkness, one lodging in his calf, the others missing him altogether.
Now the Guardsmen had a good idea where their foes were, and it takes a while to
reload a crossbow. The four men charged, yelling wildly. Tucking his sword under his
arm, Keel grabbed one of the posts holding up the porch roof, strained, and dislodged
it. After a moment he yanked it out of the structure entirely. The roof sagged,
there was a yelp of surprise, and someone's foot appeared off the edge of it. Keel
grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him the rest of the way down.
There were brief sounds of fighting, then footsteps that rapidly receded down an
alley. Three Guardsmen raced off in pursuit. Keel's prisoner started to try to get
away, so the half-Shew tossed him up, grabbed him by the arms and bashed him against
the wall.
"Are you okay?" asked Brat, sheathing his sword.
"Took one in the leg, but it's not too bad I think," Keel said, shifting his
unconscious prisoner to one hand and bending to pick up his sword.
"I'll help you tie that one up," Brat said. "There's a dead one here. I think
there were two more." He grunted slightly, trying to reach something with his injured
arm. "Got some ties in my right-hand belt pouch. If you could get them for me?"
They bound the prisoner, then bandaged each other.
"What did they want?" asked the Corporal.
Keel shrugged. "No clue. Let's get him somewhere safe and we can ask him..."
He listened. "Your guys are coming back."
"Yeah."
The Guardsmen hadn't been able to track their assailants in the darkness, but at
least there were no further injuries. The group of them returned warily to the
courtyard of the Guard House, where a woman was smearing some kind of ointment on Old
Brown's wound. After the horse was bedded down in the stable, the Guardsmen led Keel
into their office, where there was a welcome scent of fresh coffee. The medic set
about binding Keel's wound and that of the Corporal, who turned out to be an extremely
handsome man. Keel remembered hearing that Queen Gemra required her Guardsmen to be
good looking. That didn't mean they weren't competent, though. Brat had done pretty
well.
The medic roused their prisoner with smelling salts. They all sat in the main
office, Corporal Langerman facing the miscreant, who was seated in a cushioned chair,
looking reasonably comfortable except for his bandaged head. "All right," said Brat.
"Now I want you to tell me that you're going to turn Queen's Evidence."
"Not on your life, pretty boy!" The man had, perhaps, some excuse for hard
feelings since he was more homely than not, with a crooked nose and eyes set too close
together. He and Keel looked shabby and ill-favored amongst all these gleamingly
handsome Guardsmen.
Keel leaned forward. "You guys shot my horse."
"Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to do that. We were just shooting at you."
"Why?"
"Glowing sword."
"What?"
"Duh, it's a magic sword! We saw it when you drew it in Delarq Tor, and figured
we could sell it so we followed you."
The half-Shew snorted. "The Dentless isn't magic. It was in a Chaos Gate for
five hundred years and it picked up some energy, that's all. All it does, is glow.
And cut things."
The bandit looked chagrined. "But... it's got to be magic."
"Ain't. Sorry kid."
After that, Keel was taken to enjoy a sumptuous dinner at the Palace. Queen
Gemra was a definite babe, with long, silken black hair, a delicate pouty face, and
luscious curves. She asked him about his mission, which was to go to the Twisted
Lands and shut down a leaking Chaos Gate. He entertained her with the story of his
adventure on the Two-Shew Express, and she gave him a brown velvet cloak to show her
appreciation. She did not invite him to her bed, which was fine because his heart
belonged to another, always and forever.
* * * * *
This is a continuing adventure.
Watch for future chapters in the Bonsur and Home Guard newsletters!