Date   : 12/01/2006    Duedate: 12/14/2006


DM-61    TURN-396

This Weeks Top Honors


(61-3372) [17-10-0,109]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

AMAZONIA                       POSITION IS EMPTY
THE FRENCHMEN (281)            
(61-2323) [17-13-3,110]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

FAVORITE GUYS (186)            FAVORITE GUYS (186)
(61-3343) [18-31-1,97]         (61-3343) [18-31-1,97]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE FRENCHMEN (281)         52
2. FAVORITE GUYS (186)         18      FEAR FACTORY (216)
3. FEAR FACTORY (216)         -12      Unchartered Team
4. BLADE AND BLOOD (314)      -15
                                       EASY TO BEAT (52)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 FEAR FACTORY (216)       346 258 27 57.3   1/ 1 FEAR FACTORY (216)        9  6 2
 2/ 3 BLADE AND BLOOD (314)    130 114 23 53.3   2/ 2 FAVORITE GUYS (186)       5  1 0
 3/ 4 FAVORITE GUYS (186)      499 592 12 45.7   3/ 5 THE FRENCHMEN (281)       5  3 0
 4/ 5 THE FRENCHMEN (281)       64  84  6 43.2   4/ 3 BLADE AND BLOOD (314)     3  9 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
JURINE.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  Hey 
everybody, watch out for STREETCLEANER, who flew up 18 points in the rankings after 
mashing NITEHAWK SPARKWING like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling 
like a basher in the top ten was JAESAR BASTINADO, who dropped 9 points after a 
disappointing (to say the least) bout with JR FUNKENSTEIN.  Well here's a duelmaster 
that doesn't sit back and say 'Challenge me'!  KJARRAN'S HAMMER made a Bloodfeud 
against SIBI EL KEER this week.  Well, everybody's pal KJARRAN'S HAMMER moved his 
record to 17-10-0 by defeating SIBI EL KEER in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and 
gaining 2 recognition points.  Can you believe they are paying me 10 gold to deliver 
this stuff?   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the 
afraid of the big bad FAVORITE GUYS.  Tra la la la la!  For those of you who like 
math, try this one:  FAVORITE GUYS + Weapons That go Boom = FEAR FACTORY + Avoid 
City.  Well just about everybody wants a piece of JR FUNKENSTEIN, who was this week's 
most challenged warrior.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Here's some advice:  warriors with little 
wit and will may encounter problems on the trail to the Isle.   
     Well, there's the manager of the JURINE giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  
Good luck in next week's fights.  And remember, you can pick your friends and you can 
pick your--(loud boos), oh, you've heard that one already!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KJARRAN'S HAMMER 3372        17  10  0   109       FEAR FACTORY (216)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AMAZONIA 2323                17  13  3   110       THE FRENCHMEN (281)
 CHILLILI CHES 3343           18  31  1    97       FAVORITE GUYS (186)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 XANDER HAXAN 3270            13  16  3    81       BLADE AND BLOOD (314)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LAELKORISSA 3385             11  12  2    61       FAVORITE GUYS (186)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAND MAGGOT 3397             10   3  0    55       FEAR FACTORY (216)
 FLAME SPIDER 3401             5   2  0    43       FEAR FACTORY (216)
-MIKAI ABADOS 3361             7   9  3    38       BLADE AND BLOOD (314)
 JR FUNKENSTEIN 2446           5   6  0    35       THE FRENCHMEN (281)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIBI EL KEER 3362             6   7  2    33       BLADE AND BLOOD (314)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STREETCLEANER 3418            1   0  0    18       THE FRENCHMEN (281)
 LACUNA COIL 3417              1   0  0    15       THE FRENCHMEN (281)
 JAESAR BASTINADO 3412         3   3  0    13       BLADE AND BLOOD (314)
 TRUTH DECAY 3414              2   3  1    10       FEAR FACTORY (216)
 NITEHAWK SPARKWING 3416       1   1  1     5       FEAR FACTORY (216)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MASS HYPNOSIS 3413     2  1 0 FEAR FACTORY 216      SIBI EL KEER 3362     394 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Xander Haxan -- Heck.  Even more disoriented than usual?  Just heck. -- Chillili

Mikai Abados -- Yes!  I don't know how you managed to lose that, but I love it. --

2 November 2006

I received a Gift Certificate from someone.  I'm assuming it's for entry into the
Turf War 5.  Whoever sent this to me...please email me at rbaphomets@yahoo.com.

10 November 2006
     The Quest of the Best has come to an end.  Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest,
wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners.
     Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the
Quest.  Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in
the dust.  Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink)
     Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions:

1)  Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls
2)  Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts!
3)  Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts
4)  D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen
5)  Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation
6)  Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders
7)  D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights
8)  D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights
9)  The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion
10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair

     Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the
managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their
butt handed to them.
                                                           Respect to All.
                                                           Quest #1 host,
                                                           Dark Knight Toker

14 November 2006
                                      A Tale of
                        Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution
                                     as told by
                                Hammer the WordSmith

     SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the
lingering wisps of memory from days gone by.
     From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and
flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources
of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation.
     Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness
embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the
influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time
and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence
     The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that
spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had
metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and
paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet
posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times.
     Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings
possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities
presently past and future.
     Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the
corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the
sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93.
     The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi
faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever
instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch
that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory
and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the
virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered
their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the
sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant
gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior
and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy.
     Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the
reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of
gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and
gallantry before.
     Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers
numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing
the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of
visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike.
     History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded
to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new
arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants
pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades
and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes.
     Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the
gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly
divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens
determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and
olden legends of times lost.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located
SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy,
yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena!
     "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he
sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is
nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the
arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded
mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch
     Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already
deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High
Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and
depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81.
     Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable
candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind.
     From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by
     Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising
stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn.
     Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the
hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand.  Future events would lend
themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was
now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for
     Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the
worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New
Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM
28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!]
     Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the
sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for
fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena.
     After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then
another group of hopefuls.  After lengthy debate a third was cast aside.  Deciding
between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected
candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could
live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered
out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial
     The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other
managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney-
worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney
experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such
matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager.
         [TIME JUMP]
     Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and
now it was time to begin their training.  The paperwork had been dispatched for
registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which
preparation was paramount!
     Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being
offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney
     Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial
community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to
escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red!
     Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No-
Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously
increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up
stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly
     Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could
for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his
     When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each
Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in
the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night.
     These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had
they fallen into the possession of most other managers!
     Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than
being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney
     Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than
for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!]
     Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace!
         [TIME JUMP]
     Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting!
     Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered
such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81
[recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli
Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon
     The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS
stable managed by Sweety Pie.  Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was
seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena!
     Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and
KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission.
     Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and
longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus]
had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE.
     Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No-
Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission.
Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it
the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute
Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari!
     Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION.
     Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF
BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm.
     Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and
RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf.
     Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with
     Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a
penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!]
     Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to
registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!]
     Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a
stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in
     Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and
Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to
officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena.
     COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending
stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as
to their intentions.
     Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New
Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was
anybody's guess at the present time!]
     Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and
alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating
with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena
was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None!
had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors
rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by!
       JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans
join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between
some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!]
                 "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper"
                                          Minister of War

30 November 2006
NEED A TURF WAR ALLIANCE??  Master Beru, Wretch, Reaper, and Xoan have come together
to form an Alliance for the TURF WAR in DM47 with no regards for experience in
competitions or even the game.  If you want to enjoy the thrills of the competition,
we have space for up to three more managers.  Contact Master Beru at
d_spinella@msn.com for more information or send a note to Master Beru at DM 29--Army
of Darkness.  If you are interested, we need to move quickly, since the contest
starts in January and there are a few requirements to meet to participate.  May your
blades find the chinks in your enemy's armor. -- Master Beru

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

KJARRAN'S HAMMER bested SIBI EL KEER in a 2 minute Bloodfeud Title fight.
JAESAR BASTINADO was devastated by JR FUNKENSTEIN in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
AMAZONIA demolished XANDER HAXAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven fight.
CHILLILI CHES devastated KHALHUMS DWARF in a exciting 4 minute bloody one-sided fight.
LAELKORISSA bested FLAME SPIDER in a popular 5 minute bloody duel.
SAND MAGGOT beat FRATSFA SLAVE in a 2 minute master vs. novice brawl.
NITEHAWK SPARKWING was handily defeated by STREETCLEANER in a 1 minute uneven melee.
TRUTH DECAY lost to LACUNA COIL in a 3 minute novice's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   0 -  0     100  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -   2 -  0      78  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         WALL OF STEEL     12 -   5 -  2      71  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       10 -   8 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   6 -  2      54  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         LUNGING ATTACK     8 -   9 -  1      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -   8 -  1      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK    10 -  12 -  2      45  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         AIMED BLOW         3 -   4 -  0      43  |

Turn 396 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    KJARRAN'S HAMMER 3372      17  10  0  109 FEAR FACTORY (216)
STRIKING ATTACK  AMAZONIA 2323              17  13  3  110 THE FRENCHMEN (281)
PARRY-LUNGE      SAND MAGGOT 3397           10   3  0   55 FEAR FACTORY (216)
LUNGING ATTACK   FLAME SPIDER 3401           5   2  0   43 FEAR FACTORY (216)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CHILLILI CHES 3343.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CHILLILI CHES 3343.  The ten other most popular fighters were FLAME SPIDER 
DECAY 3414.

The least popular fighter this week was NITEHAWK SPARKWING 3416.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were JAESAR BASTINADO 3412, LACUNA COIL 3417, TRUTH DECAY 3414, 
HAMMER 3372, SAND MAGGOT 3397, and AMAZONIA 2323.

                            JANUARY FACE-TO-FACE IN TEMPE!

Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 12-14, 2007.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $149.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy, which 
includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's reception (yes, really!), free 
airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), fitness center, 
jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your reservation by December 15 
before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and several people 
were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  Look for 
transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all looking 
forward to it and that we will see you there!